Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 197 - Bisexual Buzz Wants to Stop Cheating on his Wife with Guys

Episode Date: September 25, 2017

Buzz has an open relationship with his wife but he secretly cheats on her with guys and he recently cheated on her with the guy she cheated on him with! How did that happen? What's their open relationship all about? Why does he want to stop cheating on her? Tune in to find out plus hear all about the secret sex he had with his guy friend in high school, the guy on guy action he engaged in while in the army, the threesomes he sets up with his wife with guys he's hooked up with and a whole lot more. **To see anonymous pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You're listening to Strictly Anonymous on the Riotcast network, riotcast.com. Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. Craigslist is definitely the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Singapore or Thailand. You can't not do it.

The temptation is just too much. Does your friend know that you're banging her? No, he has no idea. And anything goes. The motto of the show, let your brief black fly. Probably the only good advice I'll ever give you is to re-hide your whips and change. Here are your hosts, Kathy Kaye and Tommy. Hey, welcome to strictly anonymous podcast with Kathy.

If you want to follow Strictly Anonymous podcast and Twitter, follow the show, Stricted Anonymous or follow me at cartoon therapy. If you want to be at my show, send me an email at Strictly Anonymous podcast at g-mole.com. This is a call-in-vice show. where I talk to total strangers about all kinds of things. I mean, just look through the titles, but don't get nervous if you want to call in. You don't have like your story isn't about sex because I like to hear about all kinds of different interesting things.

I find most people interesting. I love to help people. So if you have a problem and your friends are sick of hearing about it and you want to call in because you need some advice, my unprofessional advice, but I think it's good advice. Send me an email. it's strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. But also write in if you have a really interesting story that seems like the other stuff that I have on my show

because that stuff is very entertaining as well. And let me tell you, the guy you're going to hear today is like, seriously, there's so much stuff in this podcast that you're just not going to fucking believe. And he was a listener and he wrote me in. So if you want to be on my show, some email at strictly anonymous podcast. at gmail.com.

If you can write a review, thanks to a couple people who wrote a review. Thanks for that. It's really helpful, and I love that, and I need them. So if you want to write a review, write a review. I have guys from my show who started like a forum because they wanted a place. They were listeners who eventually called in and they were then guests. But what they did for the show because they asked me if I would do it, and I just can't.

Because I'm just not a writer. I'm a talker. They set up like a Reddit page. And it's a place where people could go in and get in, like, you know, like a forum, I guess. You know, and people could talk about the episodes. So if you want to follow or if you want to check out that page and you want to join in the conversation about the episodes that are taking place, is that correct? go to Reddit.com and look up Let's Talks a podcast. So that's Reddit.com backslash our backslash let's talk essay podcast.

Does that make sense? I don't know how to find shit on Reddit. I've never gone on that. Like I said, I'm not like a writer. I'm a talker. So people that want to go on there and talk to other people about the stuff that we talk about on the show, you could go to that website. I'm getting a website together, so I'll have a, this whole fucking intro sucks.

I'm just like sick. I don't know if you could hear it. Not really sick. I think it's allergies. But I don't feel like taping another one, so I'm just going to leave all this nonsense in it, even though it's a terrible intro. Did I say write a review for my show? If you can write a review for my show, a couple people did.

Thank you so much for that. I really appreciate the reviews. I need them. And what else? Oh, so the guy I have on today. I mean, you can't make this shit up. That should be the name of my show. That's a good title of a show.

Nobody steal that for me. But anyway, this is a guy who's married. He's in this really open relationship. This is what's so bizarre about it because he's in an open relationship with his wife. You hear all about how they met, how they became swingers. That's an interesting story on its own. But he's always been by. He's been by since high school, even though he didn't really think he was by until

recently. This guy's been hooking up with guys from day one in high school in the army, with married guys the whole time while he's been married to his first wife, this wife. He's been hooking up with guys. And like I said, he hasn't really sort of copped to the fact that he's by until recently. And he wants to stop, though. He does want to stop. One of the most interesting things we talk about in this podcast is the fact that it was like a total coincidence. He answered to Adam Craigslist and he wound up immediately. the guy who his wife cheated on him with like many, many years before. And he wound up cheating on her with him.

Does that make sense? I had to read it and think about that like 10 times before I really understood the craziness of it all. But you hear that whole story too, as well as all the other hookups that he had with all the guys through his marriage. And we talk a lot about also why he wants to stop how he could stop. because this is somebody who's, like, conflicted about what he's doing for a bunch of reasons. So it's all over the place.

It's really interesting, his whole life story. We start from the beginning in high school and we get all the way up to, you know, the affair with the guy, his wife had an affair with. And what's confusing is you're like, well, I thought they had a number relationship. How did she have an affair? Like I said, we talk about that. So you'll get all the information. Any questions you're thinking in your mind right now after you hear these, what I just said, trust me, I had those same questions, and I asked the questions, and I got

the answers. So I'll be right back at home with Buzz. That's his name. His name is Buzz. Bisexual Buzz. I'll be right back on Buzz. Do you have a story, lifestyle, or situation you can't talk about to anyone, to anyone? Or do you just want to let your freak flag fly and be on the show? Well, Strictly Anonymous wants to hear from you. Send us an email, Strictly Anonymous, Podcast, at gmail.com with your story and your anonymous name. And remember, everything is strictly anonymous. Strictly anonymous. Uh, hey, Buzz, bisexual, Buzz. You're on the strictly anonymous podcast with Kathy. How you doing? I'm good. How are you? I'm good. So Buzz, I love your name, actually, because it goes with all the words that I want to say, like bisexual.

And then I'm just like, oh my God, it's like Buzz has been very busy being bisexual. because I just reread the email that you sent me. You're a listener of the show and you sent me an email with a bunch of things about yourself that you want to talk about. And each one was more fascinating than the other. So I don't even know where to start, but let me just give a little backstory on you. You're married, right? And you're bisexual and you've been having like relationships cheating on your wife with not even just men, also women, also women, behind her back through your whole relationship. And the crazy thing is, is like you and your wife are also swingers, right? So one would say she's probably super open-minded, but yet she doesn't know about this whole other side of your life. And there are so many more interesting things that you told me that I don't want to give away just yet.

Because, you know, but we'll get into it. But you do a lot of, like, secret things behind her back that she doesn't know about, right? How long you've been married to your wife? And how long you've been with her, actually, just total. Well, let's see. We've been together about 16 years and married 15. Okay, cool. And now, when did you guys start swinging?

Actually, when I met her, we worked at the same manufacturing plant, and we worked the night shift. And we started talking and just through, like, you know, lunchtime meetings and whatnot, she kind of told me that her and her husband were swingers. Oh, because she was married when you met her. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And so I was like fascinated. I was going through divorce at the time, but my ex-wife, my ex-wife and I were trying to keep it together. You know, what not. We have a baby girl together. So we were trying to keep it together and dating and, you know, trying new things, you know, maybe to see if it worked. Of course. So I was really, I was really, really, really interested into her. So I told her my plight, you know, I told her in my story about the problems you're having with your. wife, right, uh-huh. Yeah, and told her, I think this is something perfect for us. And she basically orchestrated an event, a whole event at her home with her ex-husband,

with the intention of us being there. So like a swinger's event? Exactly. Okay, and this is your future wife, but you didn't know it. This time you guys are just friends. You're both married to other people. She has a swinger party. You and your wife were on the out show.

up to this party and what goes down? Do you guys swing or does your wife get freaked out and like get the fuck out of here? Like let's get out of here. What happens? Exactly. Like within 10 minutes she's like, you got to go. And I was like, okay. This is a lot for me too.

And so I was like, because we showed up late because she kept contemplating. Should we go? She's not going. Yeah. And then so we showed up late right in the middle of like everybody just having fun. Oh my God. So wait. did you walk into like just like a bunch of people having sex all over the house?

I tell you what I called. Yeah. I called her and said, um, I had just gotten a cell phone. That's right when cell phones were starting to be popular. And I called her because she gave me her number. And I said, we're having a hard time finding your house, give me a little bit more, you know, directions. And so within 10 minutes, we were there when she answered a door, she was wearing I don't know, like a teddy negligee, like real tight-fitting thing. And her husband showed up in a fucking thong right behind her. That's how they met us at the door. Well, let me ask you this, though.

Is she hot? Oh, she's. Smoking? Yeah, she still is. I mean. Right. But I mean, at that time, right. So at that time, she shows up and she looks like super hot.

She's like half naked. Does she have like a perfect body, like an amazing body and stuff too? well I don't know about the perfect body she's very tiny she's very petite okay that's what I'm into right so I'm just thinking like what's going on in your wife's head you know what I mean because women tend to be like like like to gel it like there's always this thing against women with other women you know because she's so she's going to this house with you and the girl that you're friends with that work that you might fuck like I don't know on some level probably the last thing she wants is this girl to be hot right I don't know and then she shows up like naked

it could be like most girls like worst nightmare you know what I'm saying yeah yeah but we had already met him because we had a barbecue a few weeks oh okay so she already knew her okay yeah okay well and actually got along pretty good okay okay and it was prior to that that I had told her you know she had said in a group meeting that her and her husband were swingers and I overheard it and I kind of told I didn't tell my wife that her and I were talking a little bit more in debt over the whole thing. But I did tell her that I heard it, and I thought they were cool. And she was like, yeah, bring them over.

Okay, right. And after she met him, there was a good relationship. And when she left, and then like a few weeks later, I told her they're having a party. They want us to go. We went. Right. So you show up, the guys in a thong. She's like all decked out.

And then you walk in and there's other people there, right? Right. We walk in and immediately there's, at that time, we were a little bit younger, of course. Yeah. It's been a while. So a majority of like older people than us Like naked fucking right there in on the couches You know other people playing drinking games

You know it was just crazy It's kind of like yeah I think it's not the good the best thing for the I think that that was like the biggest The biggest mistake in that scenario is that you guys showed up late Do you know what I mean? It's like I think you have to be warmed up to get into it But like you know what I mean and then if everyone starts fucking after like you've been drinking and hanging out and then you lead up to that like it could be hot. But I think if you're just coming from outside after being lost and you're like totally not even, you know, you're just not thinking about sex yet, right?

Because you haven't had any kind of foreplay or like easing into it. And you walk it and it's just right there in your face. It could be a little shocking, right? Right. It was shocking. We were there. Probably, I'm not going to lie. Maybe 10 minutes.

And then she's grabbing on my hand. She's like, we got to go. But I'll tell you. you, we didn't make it not even and it's only maybe a 20 minute drive from where we lived. We didn't make it 10 minutes before we pulled

over and put her on the car. Wow, that's awesome. So there was it was a turn on but she was freaked out. Right. Interesting. Okay, great. So you guys eventually divorced, right? And you wind up with this woman. Was she hard? Like did your ex-wife

eventually know? I'm assuming she does because she's got a kid and stuff. You have a kid with her, right? That you... Right. Like, was she freaked out that you wound up with this girl? Or does she like her and it all winds up to be okay? I'll tell you...

Yeah, I guess it was probably less than a month after that initial meet and greet. Yeah. That my ex-wife and I completely split up. Right. Okay. And so I was single for a little bit. I kind of kept in touch with these guys, not partying or anything like that, but, you know, Hey, how you doing?

And then I found out that she left him or she was living with her sister because they got in a fight. And I contacted her, her and I went out the very first night we went out, we had sex. Right. And, you know, we, after that point, I mean, solid for three months. And she worked with me solid for three months every day, lunch breaks. in storage rooms. You had a good chemistry with her. Yeah, very good.

Yeah, okay. And then, so then you guys get together. And you know that she's a swinger, right? So you guys are like, that's straight off the back. Let me ask you this. Because like, when did you, because you told me in your email, right, one of the first things you said, and this is where we should probably start with the whole bisexual sort of part of your life, right, which is like a secret life that you live.

Like you said you did stuff like in high school, right? So I'm assuming you knew. from very early on that you were by, right? I never thought that. I mean, the stuff that I did with the other guy, he was, you know, in high school at least, he was straight, you know. But what were you do?

What did you do in high school? Like, what happened between you and the guy in high school? We went on a, I mean, I guess you called a hunting trip. It was maybe less than a mile from where we actually lived. We took tents. We went out into the woods. Uh-huh. We were going to shoot, we had BB cons.

Yeah. We were going to shoot squirrels and rabbits in the morning when it got up. Uh-huh. And, you know, as we were in the tent, we had the flashlight on, and he pulled out a playboy. We started looking at it. And then, you know, we just, you know, mutually had a lot of fun. Like, not full-blown gay or even by fun. We just got off together.

So you just jerked yourself off in front of each other, but there was no touching of each other? Or was there? Yeah, there was definitely, yeah. Okay. So what kind of touching? Was it just like you just touched his dick and you jerked him off? Was there any kind of blowjob action going on? Like what base?

I don't know what the bases are and the guys, but like, how far do you get with him? Like, was that dick in your mouth? Yeah, there was definitely no oral. It was, you know, looking with a flashlight, facing each other at a playboy. And, you know, I noticed. Obviously, he was doing the same thing I was doing, which was, you know, stroking our cocks. Yeah. And then, you know, we just kind of, I think he asked me or I asked him.

I'm like, are you jerking off? And he's like, hell yeah, I am. And then I said, yeah, me too. And then we, you know, pulled back to coverers, did it together, kind of touched them together. And, you know, yeah, we mutually dragged each other off that. Okay. And now that guy was your friend, right? Was it like, because you know how after you come?

Like, I always say, like, when you're like, really horny and stuff. It's like you're being drunk, right? And then the middle, like the minute you come, you go back to being completely straight, right? And so like the minute you, like came, you and that guy, like, did you feel, were you like freaked out by what you had just done or did it not really sink in at that point? No, it definitely sunk and both of us were like, I can't believe we got to this point. You know, rolled over and just, you know, took, you know, just, you know, just, you you know, cleaned up and stuff and then, you know, a couple like, I can't believe that, I can't believe that.

And then we did it again. We probably did it like two or three times. It was awesome. It was really cool. That's my first sexual experience actually with anybody else and myself. Oh, right. So your first action was with a guy, not even a girl, right? Exactly.

Right. Oh, my God. But at that point, you didn't realize that that meant that you were bisexual, right? Like you didn't put that together in your head. Not at all because like I said, the whole conversation, the visual stimulation was this, you know, playboy. It wasn't even a playboy. I don't know what it was some. Right.

It was women. It was naked women. Right. And then, you know, so it was all about, I mean, talking about teachers we knew and talking about our friends' moms and whatnot, you know. Oh, my God. Friends' moms? I say three times. probably that night, but it was probably closer to five or six.

You did it all night long. Unbelievable. But wait, let me, but so you did five or six times and you never went farther than the just jerking each other off? I know for a fact we did like some grinding and I know we like, like, we like held both of our cocks in each other's hands at the same time. But no, absolutely no sucking. I mean, I did later.

on. Both of us did later on. With each other? First night, no, yeah. Okay. So, so you, you were freaked up, but then you guys kept doing it after that, like, it becomes, like, something that you guys do all the time together, because eventually you guys blow each other. Like, when does that happen? Very shortly

after that, yeah, yeah. Maybe two or three more times, like sleepovers, or... This is why you have to ask a lot of, lot of questions, because, like, I feel like you kind of were about... Like, you were just like, oh, we just kind of fooled around. It wasn't really that major.

But, like, look at, I'm asking more and more questions. It's like, you had dicks in your mouth at a very young age. Yeah, yeah. Only his, though. That's okay. One or ten, what's the difference? I think there's a difference, but, you know, I mean, I still didn't. I mean, I'm going to say I never even considered myself by until maybe five years ago.

Oh, yeah, no, let me tell you, that is a thing. I totally get that. I hear that constantly on my show. That's one of like the most interesting things that I've sort of like learned about people, you know, doing my show when I've talked to people, you know, that people,

you know, frame things in their mind in very different ways and ways that, you know, and it's all about making whatever they're comfortable with. You know, I have guys that get fucked in the ass by guys and just say that they're not by because of whatever, you know,

everyone has their way. And it's always interesting. interesting to me, but now I've talked to enough people to know that it's a definite thing. So I get it. I still like to talk about it because it's like, you know, I'm sure when you hear it back and you're talking about it, you kind of think to yourself like, why didn't I know, right? Like, I mean, look at what you were doing. Yet you weren't maybe ready to, you weren't able to handle it or ready to sort of face it or whatever, you know, or maybe you were just too young to really understand, you know. But so you, you and that decide to continue to fool around when is the so shortly after that where did you guys always get together were you always going on like quote unquote hunting trips with each other yeah it was always the hunting trips we um it's total broke back mountain shit right you know what that movie i watched it not quite like that like for weeks or days but it's same thing yeah yeah it wasn't hard to say hey you know, it was always the same thing.

Hey, let's grab the BB guns. Let's go out across the creek. And the creek was near our house. We crossed the creek. And for a very long time now, of course, it's got horrible luxury homes on it. Yeah. Back then it was the woods, you know,

maybe 10 to 15 football field size. And so we would go out there and we had a spot and we would sit there and, yeah, we had fun. If not that, then sleep. over once we started driving in the car all the way up until I joined the army which was right after high school and now did you guys date girls and stuff but still continue this with each other

oh yeah and you had mutual guy friends did any did you guys ever bring any other guys into this little thing that you guys had to get or was it just strictly you and him um I think at one point he tried to bring in another friend that we were, he was more, you know, hanging out with more than I was. Yeah.

And then he told me later on that, you know, they actually got into like a fistfighter. Like the guy was like, no. Not interested. I'm not interested in that at all. Right. So as far as I know, it was, it was pretty, um. It was just you and him together. But I mean, you didn't, you weren't with anybody else until you got in the army.

So you got, did you go like, were blow jobs as far as you went with him? or did you guys like ever like do anything more? You know what? I'm not into anal and it doesn't, it's never done anything for me either with women or men, but I know we tried like a couple times. Like we were thinking, you know, this is what guys do. Yeah, uh-huh.

And so we tried, but both of us were, I'm not going to lie. I mean, he's pretty big. I'm a little bit bigger. It just never, never worked out. So you're both well hung. So neither one of you was a time. top or a bottom. That's interesting. Yeah. You just like blow jobs, blowing and getting blown?

Exactly. Okay. So you guys tried it. It never worked. And then eventually you go into the Army, right? And now I once had a guy on here. It's an old episode, so it's probably not even available for people to listen to. But he was a guy that was in the Army. And he told me he used to fuck guys in the porta-potties all the time, which I thought was like hilarious. Yes. I mean, and gross. Well, in the Army, and you'll hear this from probably anybody at Navy, Air Force, whatever. I was Army, but I was always attached to Navy naval units because of the jobs classification than I did.

So I was never really stationed at like any Army post ever. I was always San Diego, Annapolis. You know what I mean? All these naval yards. And I'm suspecting that it's the same. in all the branches, but all of the man-to-man fun always happens in the shower room, latrines. I wouldn't doubt, porta-potties, you know? I never do it.

But how would it happen? If it's going on in the shower, does everyone, like, could people see you? Or, like, is there any kind of privacy in there? Like, how does that work? No, there's no privacy. You kind of, like, there's maybe one or two doors that open up into it. And it's either bilateral, one side to the left, one side to the right. And when you walked in, you usually sinks and there was a row of toilets.

Now we're talking a while ago. Yeah. Now I think it's a little more confidential. Yeah. Or at least, you know, yeah, some more privacy. Back then it was. Well, that's what I would expect. It's just to be one open place where everyone has to take a shower in one open room.

So I'm like, how do you fuck a guy? It kind of wasn't like you walked into a giant room. Right. You walked into this area. You saw the sinks. You saw the toilets. behind the toilet, usually, was maybe a 20 by 20 room that was tiled, you know, up to about six feet and then, I don't know, whatever.

Yeah. Maybe eight to, eight to ten shower heads going. And that was, you know, you walked in kind of like that, you know, you push a button to shower. Yeah. It goes on you for a little bit. You have to keep pushing it if you wanted to keep coming. Yeah.

And it was always known that if you waited until night, like around midnight, if you, well, I didn't know was always known when I found this up. Oh yeah, I love these stories. This is like the way that you know that somebody else. Like it's like the, you know, the rest room, you know, the rest area thing that people know. Because I, that would have been one of my questions. Like, how do you know which guys you could fuck in the ass? Which guys are blow, you know? So what, what was the sign? There wasn't really a sign. You just kind of like, I didn't know this. I learned this. Yeah. But I got up in a middle night. Yeah. I remember I went. into the bathroom. When I was in the bathroom,

the whole thing was just full of steam. Because you were just constantly, you know, the guys would just keep pressing the hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, leave the windows open, so it would pull up a steam. Yeah. And then I was like, damn, this is some, this is crazy. So I, like, walked around just

curiously, like, looking. And when I walked into what was a shower area, it was obvious there was, like, 10 or 12 guys. Just, some were standing, some were doing things. And, and, you know, They were all hard and jacking off and stuff. And I left.

Uh-huh. Holy shit. What the fuck was that? You know, of course, I go back to the bunk. Yeah. I'm laying in bed. I'm thinking of, you know, the childhood thing. Yeah.

Or high school thing. And I'm like, I got to go back. So I went back and, um, walked in, you know, real quietly walked, just watched. And yeah, there was a big show going on. And I, that was my, my, my first experience. with Army. Right. Yeah, yeah.

And so it was, and, and you, I'm assuming, just like high school, like you went back for more constantly, right, once you knew what the deal was? I mean, that's how. Well, every night. Every night. Yeah, every night after that. You can't get more than that. Yeah.

You know, I mean, I, I, I would see the guys because they were, they were on, I guess you can, because, you know, it looks like a hotel. Yeah. But, you know, room, room, room, room. I would see him on a regular basis and be like, yeah, this looks like fun. I'm going to go back, yeah. Right. And so now, where a lot of these guys, like living double lives like you were, like,

were they married, girlfriends? I mean, because people weren't really out back then, right? Or, like, was it, you know? No. No, there was no outing. There were. Do you think most of these guys were, like, married and their wives had no idea? Were they, like, what was the deal?

Yeah, I think most of us, and I was married at that time. This is like a long-term school. I got married right out of high school. Right, okay. You know, joined the military. Yeah. So even though we were married, we weren't living together because I had to go from school. Yeah.

Yeah, I'd say a majority of them were married men or straight men for the most part. But they were like, at this point that I'm telling you, there were two very dedicated gay guys that everybody knew they were gay. Right. And they were the ones that were just, they enjoyed, like, you know, that was their gig. I mean, every night. You knew that they would be there. Yeah. Go there.

Mm-hmm. You're going to have fun. Yeah. Right. And then in the daytime when nobody was, and you would see these guys that you saw in the shower, like it would just be business as usual, right? And. Exactly. Yes.

Right. I love that kind of stuff. I just think it's so interesting because you just never know. You know what I mean? Right. I mean, just thinking about it, you know, that's a big one for me too. That was a lot of the one. You loved it. Loved it. Come on, who wouldn't? Well, you know, I guess, right?

I mean, what aspect of it? Is it because it's just like so available? Is it because it's like kind of, is it a part of it like the fact that it's like nobody knows and it's kind of like a secret? Like, does that add to it? Yeah, definitely. Because, you know, when you're in the Army and I said, you know, I wasn't in the Army to where I was doing like a regular job. I went to school almost the first two years that was in the Army. So I was never like really in a unit that was deployed or anything like that. Yeah. So it was all just this mundane total control of the people that were in charge,

the sergeants for all intents for all intents purposes that were in charge of us. And then, you know, they controlled you from the morning. You got up in the morning until you went to bed. But there was a little short period of, time that they really didn't know what was going on. So yeah, I mean, there was, I mean, this, this shower probably should have only held six to eight men, would have 25 to 30 guys in there every night at 11 o'clock. Yeah. Yeah, that's crazy. I wonder if like some guys like only got, like, I don't know, like, I wonder if like if you're stuck someplace or like, wait, because you

said you're not, like, are you in a place where you see your wife like on the weekend? or like what was the deal? Like were you guys far away from like your wives? Oh, at that time? Yeah. It was just before I got married. But, yeah, most of the people in that school didn't get a chance to see their wives during the week,

maybe a couple on the weekend, the ones that could, you know, throughout that kind of money. Because I just wonder if some people just did it because they were super horny and they just were like, okay, like I'll just close my eyes and pretend. not some of them I'm gonna say 90% of them you know oh without a doubt

it's like a blow job is a blowjob and like most heterosexual guys if like like literally like having no women around to get have sex with they'll take it from a guy you know I mean in that situation yeah right it's like jail

it's not like jail because we had like weekend passes and didn't you have women on the base but I guess you can't go you can't Where are you going to fuck them? Like there's no co-ed showers, right? So it was just more, it was just easier. So normally I don't talk about this, but I'll tell you, we were somewhat of elite force.

And we were very, the commitment that we all made when we, we signed up to go to this was that we were going to be very selective, very confidential. You weren't going to talk about what we did. I'm not going to tell you I was a Rambo But I could have been one at one point Yeah And so it was a very tight-knit group All men, there was no women We did stay on the main post

But we very rarely had interactions During school with anybody else Than each other, yeah Right Wow, so fascinating Yeah, I was a badass At one point in my life Yeah

Yeah well you're still kind of a badass when it comes to sex behind your wife's back. Because you cheated on her also with women too. So this whole man thing, so you're in the army, you're fucking around. You still don't get fucked. Did you try getting fucked in the ass there at all? Very, I'll tell you what, I think I can only remember three times that I even tried. And every time I was like, no.

Okay. It's just not my gig, yeah. Right. And what about you doing it to somebody else? Probably five times. Right. Okay. And so just a lot of blowing and a lot of blow jobs, you're getting a lot of blow jobs, right? So, and like, does it ever, at that point now when you're there and this whole thing is going on and you're doing this like daily, right?

And you have a wife, like, does it click, oh, I'm by or no, because you said it's just really recently that you even figured that out yourself, right? No, not during my. So what would you think? Like, would you think, like, oh, I'm just doing this because, like, my wife's not here and I'm horny and like I just want a blow job? Like, is that how you would think of it? Like, is that how you rationalized it? Or you just didn't even rationalize it? I don't think I rationalized it.

But, yeah, definitely. I was like, I'm horning, let's have some fun. Yeah. Right. And now, so the whole thing of, like, the cheating and stuff, because you're with your first wife at this time, right? You were cheating on her with women as well? Oh, yeah.

I could go, I would get out of the, at the time, I'd get out of the, you know, work. And we all went. to a couple different places. A lot of them were topas bars. A lot of them were just bars or whatnot. If I came in contact with a chick, bartender, I mean, older woman that, you know,

was like, I could, you know, I, I know how to flirt. They would, yeah, whatever. And, yeah, a bunch of hotel rooms, a bunch of car sacks, public places, going back to their houses. I mean, tons of it, tons of. Right. So you just couldn't get it. Why did you get married? Just for kids and stuff? Or because it was like what you were supposed to do? You know what? I was dating a girl when I left in the army and was kind of understood that when I came back, I'd marry her.

So I did come back and marry her. And even though we were probably the first two years that we were married, probably spent less than 10 to 15% of the time. With each other, right. Yeah. And then the times that we did spend together, we'd always have sex, just got pregnant. you know, I have a beautiful daughter and we both love her and I have a great relationship with my ex-wife. Right. But it was just you know, we didn't know each other but we were non-combatable.

Right, and you were young. Very young. Right? When you look back aren't you like, what were we thinking? Like I don't know what people were, I never thought that and I'm like older but I even when I was young I was like, I never understood why people got married so young. I think people are different now, you know, but

I'm assuming you're like in your 14. 30s now? Yeah, I'm in my late 40s. Yeah, me too. When, you know, I wanted because I didn't have anybody, you know, you're in the Army, you don't have. You know, it's that a whole idea of having a family and everything was very romantic at the time. And it was very romantic when we got married. And we had a great life together.

I love the woman. You know, she's sticking care of my daughter. She's perfect, but we just weren't compelled. Right. Okay, cool. never found out that you were cheating on her or anything like that, right? You just sort of got divorced because you just weren't getting along or whatever. It was like a regular divorce. Exactly. And yeah, she never knew of the, um, um, guys or women.

Yeah, both. Okay. So that, and you were, you didn't cheat on her with the woman at work that you wind up marrying your next wife, right? The woman that you're with now. But she was cheating on her husband with you, right? And then left him. Right. Yeah. I was, separated maybe or separated and then got divorced and then we started messing around but yeah she was married okay and then and then you guys are do you you immediately i'm assuming or open up the relationship to to being swingers right because she was before right even before she was actually divorced we were swinging yeah oh so you guys were hooking up with other people now i know that you said that you set up like secret meetings with men and then you'd bring them in for three ways i guess she didn't

realize that that was the deal Like, right, that you knew them? Like, you would make it seem like it happened organically or something like that. What happened with that one? You would like set up these secrets sort of threesomes where you would be, you would know the guy, but she didn't know about it? Yeah, exactly. Just like that. After I found out that she was like into that, you know, I would use Craig List and say, hey, I want somebody to fuck my wife.

But you got to meet with me. We got to, you know, really lay down a plan. She can't know that it looks staged. Yeah. And boom, boom, it happened. Yeah. Now, would you ever hook up with these guys behind her back and then they'd go and then, because I'm assuming you wouldn't hook up with them when she was there in person, right?

And you were watching her fuck the guys, right? Like you, because you didn't want her to know she you were by. Right. No, never in front of her, but yeah, both before and after the event, yeah. Oh, my God. So wait a second. So these guys, you'd meet them before and then you would fool around with them, right? Well, you know, I met a lot of guys.

I work nights. So my wife and I both worked nights at the time that we met. And then she went back to school, got her teaching degree. She's a teacher. I worked nights. I'm home eight hours a day alone. Yeah. So that's my time.

If I want to sleep a little bit or if I want to, you know, I know I don't go back to work that night. You know, I mean, it just depends. And you were never worried about her. coming home or something. I mean, you'd have these guys come over to your house when she was out. Very few. Right. And the very few that I'm talking about, I'm still in contact with.

They were in the exact same situation as I am married. You know, I have to look for those guys that are, you know, are going to be able to keep a secret. Somebody that can't get caught, they can possibly out me. Right. You need them to be as petrified of getting caught as you are so then you could trust them, basically. because they're in the same boat.

They have just as much to lose as you do if it got out. Exactly. And that's kind of how the conversation goes. You know, through emails, it's like, hey, are you just like me? If you're not, that I don't want nothing to do with you. I think it's smart, actually, you know. Yeah, 20 years. I haven't been caught.

Yeah. So, you know, it's always that. And then even after that, you know, if we meet up, because I'll say, we only do so much over email, but we have to meet and talk in person. and we're going to meet and talk in person with it's very public there's tons of cameras because I'm not going to throw

myself out there if you're not going to throw yourself out there. Yeah, totally. Go from there. Yeah, I'm very careful. Like I said, I don't know if you remember in my email, I want help. You know, I want to quit this. I know I'm too good at it, but

Yeah, I think I forgot about that because I was so mesmerized by all your bullets of all the shit that you did. There was one thing that you told me that was so complicated. I was like, Had to read it like three times to understand it. I think what was it that you like screwed a guy that your wife eventually cheated on you or something? Like did she have like an affair? Wow.

So hold on. Yeah, that's a big thing in my life right now. I actually met a guy that my wife had an affair with about six years ago, completely random, completely. anonymous. It was on Craigslist, but it was like, there's no way, I mean, a needle in haystack, I'm going to meet this guy, and I met him. But wait a second, I need to the backstory, because it doesn't even make sense to me. How, she cheated on you with this guy? Yeah. Now, let me ask you this. Did you know about the affair? Like, did you find out about it? Or did you find out about it when you eventually met the guy.

I found out about it. Shortly after my wife ended it, she left her computer email open. Okay, so how many years into your marriage did this happen? Maybe seven or eight. Okay. And so she winds up having an affair on you, and you wind up seeing an email or something?

Yeah, she went to work, and she left her computer laptop open. and I mean I was off that day you know I went about the house did whatever and then you know like maybe around noon

I heard like a little blip so I went to the computer and I looked at it and it was an email from the guy that she was having the permit right and so you know of course I spent

an hour or two just you know going through all of them oh my God I can't believe how dumb she is that she was just like leaving that stuff like right on her computer and emails and stuff that you that you that's why i think i'm going to get caught something i mean it's you know you know you you're all everybody's going to slip and that's that's my big worry but anyways she slipped she left it went through all of them were you yeah how horrified were you like was this like a total like rug being pulled from

underneath you or were you guys having like real bad problems in your relationship or did this come as a total surprise i mean i'm sure it's always a surprise even if you're having problems. But like, did it seem like everything was okay with her? Or what was the deal? I'll tell you, at that time, I kind of sensed that we were both having, you know, some problems. And I probably wouldn't have looked at it or even paying any attention if we weren't having those kind of problems. But I went and I looked.

Right. And, yeah, hundreds of emails with this guy. Oh, my God. All this kind of stuff. And this happened prior to lunch. And when I called her at lunch, she already knew, I guess, by, you know, seeing that, you know, the house had signed, you know, her computer had signed in and read all those emails and I knew about it. And she's like, well, we got to talk. And I said, yeah, we got to talk.

But it was really hypocritable of me to say I was going to be, you know, horrified. I was doing the same thing. Right. but you were a god and people are still very hypocritical oh really so you so you decided to just like forgive her i said it's going to happen again she's like no and that was it yeah hmm you're interesting listen i just think human beings are just human beings right so even if you are doing the same thing i still think it's very normal to be completely horrified and jealous and pissed off and angry that she is because you didn't know but i think it's absolutely

actually very interesting that you were not okay with it, but you were able to forgive it because you were aware of what you were doing. I think that that's very, you know, it's, nice of you. I don't know. Yeah. Well, people would maybe say different considering all the cheating that you were just having an affair, you're doing a lot more than that in a weird way. It's like a totally different thing that you did than what she did. So it just, to me, it's like, interesting, and I've heard this before, like that somebody that's in an open relationship could have an affair, right? I mean, she was able

to go screw other people. So obviously it was like an emotional thing. She was looking for an emotional connection because basically she could have sex with somebody else. It wasn't a thing between you guys, right? Right, and this guy played it right. He was a delivery driver

that saw her on a daily basis, established you know, a good relationship and took advantage of it. Yeah, he scored. Right. Right. Okay.

So then how do you wind up meeting this guy so many years later on Craigslist? Like what ad had you put out or responded to? Yeah, I responded to, you know, his ad. And I met him, and we met her to park near his house. But what was his ad looking for? Yeah. married guys liking to show off their lives

and so we met at a park right very near his house and then we went to his house and you know he's like okay show me the you know the media that you have and I'll show you mine and you know we only had her cell phones at that time

and he just was like she's so hot I used to fuck a girl like that and we saw our playing around jacking each other and stuff and we both came and then afterwards when i was cleaning up i kind of looked at him and i was like i think i know this guy and i asked him what you know what's your name he said well i told you my name is and i'll you know whatever and that was the same name that the guy that had to fare with my wife and i asked him well okay whatever and i was

putting, you know, my, you know, my pants on and stuff. And I said, what do you do? And he says, well, I'm a delivery driver. And that's what I knew was him. Wow. He didn't remember that that was your wife? I think I only met him like once or twice. No, but I mean, he didn't remember when he saw the pictures of her when you guys were in

the middle of it, right? Because you're showing him pictures of her, right? That's the whole reason you're meeting and you're doing your business. He didn't remember that that was the woman he was having an affair with. Right. So all of the pictures that I have of her that I, that I share with other people. Have no face.

Oh, okay. Interesting. Right. Okay, that's smart. Uh-huh. So, you know, as we were looking at everything, he didn't see her face. And this guy has, you know, since the time before I met him, way back when, lost a ton of weight. He had long hair.

He shaved his head. Didn't have a beard. Now he has to go tee. So I didn't recognize him until, you know, I had a lot of him. until, you know, I asked him his name and he was, I was, I'm kind of surprised and he was completely honest. He gave me his name, you know, first and last name. And so I drove around the corner, maybe a block and a half from his house. I emailed and you know him again through the Craigslist app and I'm like, hey, I know you used to fuck my wife. And what did he say?

It was a long wait, a very long wait. And then, he said, she told me you guys were getting to a divorce. You know, I mean, like, completely defensive. Yeah. And I told him, I'm not upset. I'm not angry. It was something that happened. We worked through it.

But I'd love to hear about it. Right. First, he's probably thinking you just want to, like, you're pissed. But he doesn't realize that what, now you want to, like, hear about it and get turned on. Like, it's a part of, like, the turn on for you. exactly so you know it took a couple of emails that day for me to say i'm not upset it was a while ago we've worked you know yeah but i'm dying to hear how it happened is there any way you can give me some details and he said a couple of emails you know back like are you crazy what do you

want to know i mean this is horrible and then i sent other emails back telling him you know how much sharing my wife and have another guy to be with her as a turn on and eventually you told me all about it, yeah. And it was like the hottest thing for you to hear? Yeah, very. Was it conflicting at all afterward, like when you weren't like horny,

like after like what, that you would, or not in the slightest. Did you have one weird feeling about it like in like a jealousy aspect? You know what I say? Yeah, definitely. I think there was two where I got with. her and I said, oh, I found out about her having an affair with him through email.

Yeah. Uh-huh. And, you know, deleted emails and secret accounts and, you know, all that crazy stuff that happens. Yeah. And so I told her one day, you know, eight years later and said, hey, it was much more with him than what you told me. I had proof. And I basically forced her to tell me about the other.

time. Oh, because she, what do you mean the other time? She sort of said to you, oh, I was only with him a couple times. She said she was only with him one time because that was the email that I saw. Oh, please. Well, you wouldn't call that an affair one time. Right. Right.

And then, you know, after meeting this guy, you know, I found that he, you know, fucked her like a good six or seven months. Right, right, right. So that's why you call it an affair because that's much more an affair than a one time thing. Right. But you didn't realize it. So that's why it's a different story. Like when you found out about it, you like, let me ask you this because I was a little, I found it interesting that you were able to just be like, just don't do it again because it was a one time thing. If you knew back then when you found out about it that it was a seven month thing that was ongoing behind your

back, would you have had more of a problem with it, do you think? Well, when I found out about it, she told me, you know, one thing, I didn't find out about it being a prolonged thing. No, I know, but remember I said, it's weird that you were able to just let it go, right? Because you called it an affair. I assumed it was a long-term thing. But really what you found out about was a one-time her being with somebody else. So it kind of makes sense that you would be like able to let it go because you guys were swingers and you would see her with other guys.

So what is the big deal if she's with someone, once. But what it turned out, and you didn't find out to wait later, that it was a seven-month long affair. It was much more than just a one-time thing. Now, I'm just asking you, metaphorically speaking, like if you had found out the truth of that back then, do you think that would have bothered you? Like, I know the one-time thing you were able to forgive it. Do you think you would have been able to forgive the seventh-month affair as easy as you did, the one-time thing. You know, I can't answer that.

All I know is that, had I known that it was a little bit longer than it's just a little, you know, fling, yeah, it probably would have made me think about, you know, a little bit different because both her and I were in that kind of a fling that we got together. Yeah, that's why. Okay, so you are a little bit more normal than I remember before when you said you were able to just be like, okay, and let it go. I was like, wow, that's so interesting and it's weird. It's not really interesting and weird because you didn't really know the full scope of it.

It wasn't like you were saying, okay, I could get past an affair. You were saying, okay, I could get past a fling. Because you guys had flings with other people in front of each other. So it makes more sense that you were able to. And it makes total sense that if you knew it was an affair, you'd have a little bit more a problem because an affair is like a different thing. Yeah, it was, maybe I miss playing it a little bit because, Definitely, you know, I gave her some help for a long time, maybe six, seven months.

Right. But we kept it together and, you know, in the back of my heart, I kept saying, gosh, I'm doing the same thing. I shouldn't be this honor. But it was easy to do it, you know. I hear you. And you know what? Listen, we all rewrite history. Like, I had journal.

I kept, until the fucking stupid internet and iPhones, like, I always wrote in journals. and I, you know, and so I had like everyday things that happened to me. And I would go back and I would read things. And I'd be like, wow, when I tell this story, I make it seem like so much less complicated, you know, that it really was when I would like read back through things. So I think we all do that in that. We all sort of think back to things. And we see when we think of them, like they seem easier and quicker than they really were, right?

Like if you were writing in a journal every day, you were probably a lot more upset about it than you remember. But I think that that's just human nature. We move on. We don't keep every little tiny detail in our brain. That's why journaling is actually really interesting because I go back and I'd be like, wow, I rewrite history all the time when I'm telling me stories. You know what I mean?

It's not the fucking truth. Like this was a lot more torturous. Certain things were a lot more torturous than I remember them to be when I look back on a day-to-day basis, you know? So that makes sense. But in a weird way, I think it's better that you didn't find out until way later. Because when you did find out

it was so past it that you weren't going to get upset and you were sleeping with the guy which is just, you just can't make this shit up. I mean, that's just like the craziest thing ever, right? Like you said, what are the chances that you'd meet this guy and find out and that you, you know, it's

crazy that if you met the guy just randomly in a bar and he told you that he was having that situation with your wife and you found out the truth seven years later. But the fact that you were also sleeping with him behind her. her back with the guy that she was with behind your back is just the craziest thing I've ever heard.

Well, it happened. And it was kind of crazy. Like I said, we met. We had a little bit of fun. And I left and I was like, I got to contact him and tell him. And I tried for like, it was a couple of days before he began regular conversations with me saying, okay, what are we going to do now? Are you going to help me?

Are you going to be my ass? are you going to, you know, tell my boss. We all still worked for the same company. And, you know, he's like, what are you going to do? And I'm like, I'm not going to do anything like that. I only want to hear the stories. And so we met, yeah, a couple of times. Yeah, had a great time.

Wow. And he was probably at the first time, like a little bit, like, worried that you'd show up with a gun or something. But he was, I guess. Well, I went to his house the first time with, you know, like I said, we just, That's when I found out about it. Yeah. We had a great time, yeah. Yeah.

Wow. And so do you currently still see him? Is that something that happened recently? I saw him this morning, yeah. Oh, my God. When your wife loved the house? Yeah, we had a little incident last night that made her leave to work earlier so she can get off later. And, you know, I sent him a text saying, hey, I got a call.

You know, I got a couple of minutes you want to meet up, and we met at a regular place. Where's your regular place? It's a, we live near a bay, you know, a body water. And there's a spot right in between, you know, both where we live that it's kind of like a make-out point, you know, type thing. And we met there at sunset. Is he married? Yeah, he is. He is.

interesting. Did his wife ever find out about his affair? Nope. With your wife? It's the same wife that he was married with when he was having affair with my life. Right. No. No. Wow. I mean, you just don't get any more, like, that is like the craziest coincidence. And like, I mean, that you're like having an affair with the guy that your wife had an affair with. Yeah. Yeah. And he, you know, he's like, I'd love to do it again. And I'm like, you know, I got to be careful because I would love to watch that. But at the same point, this is the guy that she kept secret for seven months.

You know, I don't want her, I don't want her to leave me for him. Yeah. And you did bring up at some point that you knew more. I mean, she could wind up being like, because how did she think that you, when you said, I have proof? Like, did she ever ask you like, where's your proof? I mean, like, how did she? I think she knew that I had access to her email that one day.

Mm-hmm. And maybe that I printed, you know, stuff out, but I didn't. I really didn't have the proof. Right. And then so did she wind up telling you the whole truth that time? Well, she told me that she had an affair with him, ongoing, you know, flirtation, but they only slept together one time when, in fact, you know, I found out from him that it was, you know, a lot more than that.

Wow. Yeah. To craziness. And I wonder, like, I really wonder, and I don't know if you wonder this, that, like, you know, like where there's one, sometimes, like, you know, there could be many, right? Do you wonder whether your wife has other people that she's been with while you're together? No, I kind of asked him about that while we were messing around one time. And I'm like, what do you think?

And he tells me that she would, like, cry at times, you know, that they were together. And he would say, why are you crying? She's like, I can't believe I'm doing this, you know. Right. So she felt bad. Right. Yeah, she felt horrible. And she kept telling him, oh, we can't do it.

And, you know, it would happen again and again. Right. It's not like you're crying when you're doing these things. Oh, no. I wasn't doing that. But I never know. I mean, we started off having an affair, and, you know, that's kind of history repeats itself, definitely with me. Right, but because you have so much, because you're so complicated and you have this whole secret life that you live, that you're like sort of keeping under wraps at all times, it's just like, I think it's hard for you to, like, in a weird way, it actually works because how, you can't go so crazy.

about that, right? Because you have this whole other thing that you're involved in, right? And for some reason you want quote unquote advice because you want to like get out of this whole thing. Like what is it that like is it is it? Yeah. It's it's it's it's not advice. I need help. I want to, I want to end this. I'm, I'm, I'm very lucky that I've never been caught. I've never been outed. I've never, I've ran into people that I know. But as far as, like, you know, I've gone to, you know, I've gone to people's houses or apartments, because I always go to town, you know, left or right. And, you know, when I, you know, I show up, I know the person. I'm like, oh, my God. And let's, let's walk away and not say anything. I'm,

but I am pretty fearful that I'm going to get caught on this. And I'm asking you, you're listeners, people, to tell me, I'm going to quit. I want to stop. I have a great wife. I have a great life, I want to stop. Okay, let me just ask you really quick because you said you've run before we go into talking about how you could stop, okay? But like you said that you've run into people that you know because you're just like, I mean, how many people have you run into that you know? I think maybe five people.

It's so great. So that must mean that so many effing people are doing this. Because think about you and your little town. wherever the fuck you live, right? And you're like over here, one town over here and one town over there. You've already bumped into five people you do know, let alone all the people that you don't know that you've been with.

And then like, I just can't believe how many guys are meeting up with other guys to talk about their wives. Do you know what I mean? It's a big thing. It really is. It is a big thing. It's a big effing thing. So now you just want to stop, right?

How long have you had the feeling that you just, you know, don't want to do this anymore? Years. Years. Yeah, I don't understand. What do you think changed in you that, like, why do you think now? Because, like, it seems like when you were in the beginning, when you were doing stuff, like, you didn't, like, have any sort of problem with it, right? Was it, is it that because you're with this wife and you're older now?

Like, what do you think it changed in you? that made you sort of changed in the way that you feel about what you're doing? Well, I think a lot of it had the fact that, you know, when I was married, I was mostly involved sexually with, you know, my wife,

old wives, and the older that I got, and this is probably a common thing among people who've been together for a while, you know, you get a little bored. Yeah. And you look, you know, you look for, you know, something out there.

Women do it, men do it, couples do it, you know, whatever. And I think that's what I did. I started looking a little bit further because the bi-sex stuff was very small in my life, very, very small, very in-between, very, you know, it wasn't something that I, you know, on Friday morning woke up and said, oh, this is something I want to do today. Very, very few being, you know, far and in between. but I think the older that I got, once I hit like 40, 45, I started really like seeing that that's the easiest sex you can have. I mean, it's so easy.

There's so many people out there. And you must have a very high sex drive. Like you just can't get enough. Like maybe you have a little bit of a sex addiction, maybe? No, I wouldn't doubt that. I know I do. I wouldn't doubt that. I know I do.

but I think there's been times where I've gone six, seven months without doing anything. You know, I can do this. Well, listen, but we have to listen. I mean, it's, in one sense, you have to say like, oh, you've gone six or seven months without doing anything. But in another sense, and that's great. But in another sense, I would say, well, you could do so much within your relationship. Of course you could go seven minutes.

I mean, you're not in a, like, a monogamous relationship where you're stuck with one woman who likes vanilla sex, who, it's, you know. who you're not allowed to cheat on and you could go seven months being monogamous. Like most people are in that situation. And I would say, oh, that's great that you could do that. But like with you, you're in a relationship with a woman who you could watch fuck other guys. Like you guys do all this kind of stuff together.

So it's kind of like a little bit like, wow, you need even more on top of that. You know, because you have it pretty good in your marriage in that you could have whatever you want variety and you want other guys around and all that kind of stuff. You could have it. You just can't have like dicks in your hands because she doesn't know that, right? Or variety with other. Does she let you fuck other women or no? Yeah.

She does. Yeah, I've done it. Okay. So you could do basically everything, right, sexually, that you're doing behind her back in front of her, except the bi thing, which you say is a very small part of your life. But yet maybe it's not because that's the thing that you can't stop. doing. Yeah, you know, I'm there.

I'm like, you know, a typical guy. I'm a tall, big, blonde hair, you know, whatever. And, you know, I, I've never, you know, really thought guys were attracted to me, but apparently they are. And we've had, you know, events with other couples where the guy is like, I want to suck your husband's cock. And she's like, go ahead. And she's, like, grabbing it and putting it there.

And I was like, no, I can't. Oh my God, stop. Are you fucking kidding me? Yeah. Okay, so that's your thing right there. That's what you have to do. Because, duh, I mean, I was going to get to it. I don't know why I had it, and I forgot about that question.

I was going to ask, like, why haven't you told your wife? Do you think she'd be into it? You know what I mean? She completely would be okay with you. And you know that for a fact because she has been. and yet you will not sort of allow for that in your relationship and that's crazy because that would be the that would that would that's the thing that you have to do why do you think that you won't do that in front of her what do you think that that does yeah i think it's uh a generational thing you know when i grew up that was like oh my god you can't do that you know you're doing it okay i think you need to just like wake up in reality and i think you're doing it okay i think you need to just like wake up in reality and i think think what it is, it's like you're that same guy, that same guy in high school that was like, you know, jerking off his friend and then blowing him shortly thereafter and doing all kinds of

things that would be, you would make anyone else say, for sure, you're fucking bisexual, you know, you couldn't, you couldn't accept that you couldn't face it, you weren't ready for that, you know, it took you until recently for even after all the stuff that you do. And then maybe it's like letting your wife know and being open and having. doing it in front of her would just only make that more of a reality. And you're still not able to sort of face the fact that you're completely 100% bisexual. When I told you, okay, this is the truth, okay, because I didn't have it on tape. But when I was talking to you for a couple of minutes before we started taping, I was saying, I love that your name is Buzz because I'm going to be

bisexual buzz. And you were like, I don't, I really like that name. Like I don't, you're not really that comfortable with being bisexual yet. Probably. You're not. Right? Don't you think that's what it is? I guess, you know, I don't, I mean, if there was a stereotype guy that was like bisexual, I don't fit that persona. But.

Yeah, but gay and bisexual is very different. What do you think of bisexual? Like, you know what I mean? What do you mean a stereotypical bisexual? Listen, you know all that. Out of anyone, you should be the one that knows what it's a stereotypical bisexual man is because all the guys you're meeting up with are exactly. like you, so they're all most likely by. Some might be totally gay and they just don't know it yet, or maybe they are in there with their wives, but they don't really like women. They're like men.

But probably most of the men that you meet are like you. They're completely, like, because you're attracted to women, right? For sure. Yeah, definitely. Yeah, definitely. And you're attracted to men. And you don't even like anal sex, but you're attracted to men, a certain type of thing with a guy totally gets you off, right? Yeah. Yeah. So you're completely by, and most likely, you've met a lot of bi guys in your life and a lot of people are by like I would say that most people are I always say it's like that scale you know if one people one end is heterosexual and the other end is homosexual probably most people fall somewhere in the middle it just statistically speaking it just makes more sense that the average would be most people would fall somewhere like I said in between

some people might be like 90% straight 10% by like you're very 50 50 you're like a classic bisexual and I think that on some level, some part of you, some little part of you can't accept, doesn't fully want to accept that. And that's all you need to do to be okay with it. And the great news is that the minute you're able to get there emotionally, you're good to go because your wife is like ready to put a dick in your mouth and watch it. Like she's into it. Like you have the best case scenario.

I have already have taped that I haven't aired yet, a guy who's like was by. be another Christian guy that's like bye behind his wife's back and had to tell her like and she was like horrified like I mean that's normally what happens you have like the perfect scenario a you have an open relationship with your wife be she would be interested in you being with men and and you want to stop what you're doing so that's it's all right there for you it's just you just have to get to the place where you could accept the fact that you are completely by and be okay with it Yeah, I can do that. What do you think about, I think I can, you know, I think I can, you know, talk to her about that.

But what do you think about, how do I tell her about all the other events? I think that you don't have to. I don't think you have to. I don't think you should. Honestly, I don't think you should. And I don't think you need to. I really don't. I think that, first of all, I would not tell her about.

Let me ask you this. When was the last time you cheated on her with a woman? Do you cheat on her because you guys have an open relationship besides the men, male thing, right? The men, do you cheat on her with a lot of women? You know, I was waiting for this question from you. Have I ever, like, set up a relationship or something where I was going to mean a girl, you know, for sex?

Never. Right. Have I met, like, couples, you know, know where the guy wants me to fuck his wife either in the theater or at his apartment yeah i've done that maybe five or six times right so it's as far as like so all you're cheating all the stuff that because you want to stop cheating like you don't want to get caught like you're at the point right like you just don't want to be doing this anymore and so but it's all about the guy it's all about being with men because you can't do that with her it's not about cheating on her with women like

because you could be with other women in front of her once you if you could be with you with other men in front of her, you probably wouldn't be cheating on her at all. What would you have left to do? I mean, she lets you do everything. Right. Right? No, she does. Yeah, right.

And you know for a fact that she would be fine with you being with a guy. I don't know about fine, I think. She was putting it in your mouth. Yeah. Didn't you say that? Well, she was trying to. I did it too and she said she loved it

Oh my God stop You just this is Some people are just so fucked up When they tell stories It's just like You didn't tell me that before Did I cut you off? Like what the hell?

I thought like she said do it And you said you I thought you said you couldn't Well I said I couldn't But I actually kind of did a little bit Oh my God you're out of your mind Why it's like you're so Like you're so afraid to even just like Tell the truth out loud

but it happens. Oh my gosh. It's a tough. You just made me waste to five minutes of talking about shit. If you would see me, you wouldn't doubt. You would never think that about me.

I'm nothing like a guy like, like a typical guy like that, but, and I'm not attracted to guys that are like that. Like what? Like what? Guys that are married, you know,

still love, you know, women and stuff and just want to get off. What are you trying to say? I wouldn't know. You just said you would never look at me and think that about me. Think what about you?

Well, because I don't have, like, a feminist or feminine. Yeah, but what you don't understand is being bisexual is very different than being homosexual. And, like, you know. Yeah, I need some, I think I need some education on this. You definitely. Yeah, I think you do. I think in a weird way for somebody who's, like, so, had so many dicks in his mouth. Like, you're, like, homophobic.

And I think, which is kind of, like, talk about it, hypocritical. Okay. I know. It's horrible. And I hate it. really is because like what's wrong if you're a gay guy a lot of gay guys aren't feminine and the ones that are like whatever like you know what I mean but yet you have such this fear and I mean maybe if someone would is saying like maybe because you are gay

you're like that you're so because why would you but yeah I don't know why would you be? Hey well listen this was a confessional that I called into you know to kind of tell you you know what I'm going through and and I'm looking for advice and and I'm open to that but To you being gay? I'm not gay. Okay. All I'm saying is that I wonder why, you know, you keep going because, like, I've told you numerous times on this show. Like, I mean, the bisexual has nothing to do with gay.

And I think that you know on some level, right? But yet, your biggest fear about coming out and saying it or is that you're gay, you're so stuck on it that maybe there's something to it. I don't know. Have you thought about that? no but I will after this because I told myself I'm calling you not just to you know tell my story and make it exciting you know a van for everybody but I should get advice yeah because you want to stop or because you want to know like who or what you are like what is it yeah what's the deal I love my wife she's fantastic and we live a great life and I don't want to do anything that's

you know in that and I know I have to tell her at one point but what do you have to tell her come on no you can't be what do you mean come on you've ever no no listen to me you already blew a guy in front of her what do you need to tell her

you don't think I need to tell her about all the other events no really I want somebody to tell me exactly that that's what I don't want to do I want to stop to day. I want to stop today with you. I don't want to do this anymore. Okay, but you might need,

okay, but okay, you need more, you need help. Like, it's like you're an addict, right? And you're addicted to this thing and you need to stop it. And now that I know that you're like, okay, after that blowing that guy in front of your wife, right, in that scenario, that time that had happened. Have you done that since or was that a one-time thing? One time, yeah. Okay. What, what goes on in your mind that makes you think that you have to tell her? Like, what would tell her do like what does that mean telling her because I don't understand what what you mean like I need to tell her about all this other stuff please tell me I don't have to tell her why like when you think of the story like why do you see yourself having to tell her I think

on you know going back to those 10 command of addiction that you have to come clean with somebody and I think I need to come clean with her oh please I don't know about that okay just but wait so forget about that that's it's Is it because you've been reading up on, like, sexual addiction and because of that? Like, what is the real reason why you feel some need to tell her? You know what? If you tell me, and I'm going to back you on this, don't tell her. You're not, you haven't been caught.

You don't have to whisper. If it pops up, you tell her. If not, then let it go. But wait, do you, this is what I'm trying to say. Like, what do you think telling her will do? Do you think of like you tell her, then it becomes like that that'll help you stop? I think I'd rather have her know that I'm telling her than her find out. Right.

And you're just at the point where you're so afraid and freaked out that you're going to get caught, that you're like ready to tell her, even though you haven't been caught. Yeah, I want to stop. Yeah, you're an addict. And you probably will get caught eventually if you don't stop, but you don't need to tell her. Does that make sense? I want to stop. I want to stop.

You need to stop. You need to stop. Yeah. But you maybe need, like, you know, there's sex addict meetings. You should look into that in your area. There's love and sex addiction meetings. You should probably go to them and start there. You need help, ongoing help, like every day help.

Like, it's not, it's harder to do than you could imagine. Because I don't know what it is. Because, like, most of the time I think that people are addicts and they're doing something to sort of like avoid sort of feeling that they have. Like I don't know though if like all of this is tied into you maybe being like a homosexual or like something else going on. I don't know what it is, but there's something that you don't want to sort of face in yourself and you think doing all these other things is going to help it. Because I don't know why you're like the whole telling your wife thing. It doesn't really make sense because you haven't been caught, you know? I mean the normal

person would be like, yeah, don't fucking tell her. You haven't been caught, you know, and just stop. But you can't stop, right? Let me ask you. No, I think I can. Yeah, I am. Well, how come you have it? Well, I mean, it was like an everyday thing for me. And then after, you know, we sent a couple emails last week trying to connect.

I haven't since then. And I said, you know, I don't want to anymore. Okay. And I've definitely had the opportunity. But no, I don't want to. Let me ask you this. Do you have a therapist at all? You need a therapist, first of all, for sure.

Yeah, I think so, too. No, I don't. That'll really help you. Yeah. Yeah, that'll really help you. I did a really great interview with a guy recently. Did you listen to that sex addict one that I just did recently and I recently aired? So good.

The guy that was a sex addict, you have to listen to his episode. You should really listen to it. I just talked to him and he really thought he was calling in to just tell me these stories and he'd be like hot, you know, for them. Or he'd be turned on by telling them and it turned out to be like instead like a fucking therapy session for him being a sex addict. And it was like amazing. And I gave him a lot of good advice.

about like sex addiction and so like just being an addict in general because I was one was more like with alcohol and stuff and quit a very long time ago and it is a very hard thing it's harder than you think I think it's great that you've been quote unquote sober and not doing the stuff that you've been doing for a while I think that there's just more to it though and I think that you need to continue to have these conversations that you're having with me today with somebody else and being as truthful about what you're doing and who you are on a daily basis so you could get things sorted out because I don't think it's sorted out in your mind. And I think that's where the conflict is.

And then what you're going to do in thinking that it's going to make things better is dump all of this information onto your wife's lap when you don't even know what the fuck is going on with yourself. Really, you're not clear on it at this point. And that's only going to make things worse, right? So, you know, whether you decide after you like get clear and get clean of what you're doing that maybe you want to tell her and you want to have that conversation, that's okay, but right now is not the right time because I don't think you telling her is for the right reason. I think it's because

you're confused. It's because you're worried. It's because you're going a little nuts in your head about things. And I think that's more, like I said, because you're not really clear on who you are, what you're doing or what you want to do. And you need to get to that place. And I think you need to have, like I said, not just one conversation with me. It's not the fucking movies. Like one conversation is not going to change your whole life. Though there could be lightbul, that go off and it could be like a click and a change. And maybe if you never do it again after one conversation, that's great. But I typically think that what you would really need to do is like have this conversation with me today. It's very helpful and the emails I've been helpful, but you need to

continue to do it, right? I'm going to go off and be talking to 10 other people tomorrow. You know what I mean? You have to continue this conversation with somebody. And so you need somebody that you could trust, you know, a therapist that you could talk things through. And before you go to your wife and have any kind of conversations and you need to be very clear with why you would be doing that what could possibly happen and how you would deal with it and what's going on with your feelings with guys about guys because I think really

I think that's where the confusion is for you well I'm going to take that I'm already thinking about you know I have some resources you know, to look into and I really appreciate you. Yeah, I have, you know, company offers some many free sessions. I have insurance. And let me tell you this. Yeah, so let me tell you this because I told the other guy an email afterwards because

he saw a therapist and then he didn't like him. And I said, like, the right therapist is very hard to find. It's like finding the one, you know, it's not a lot of times it's not the first person you meet. Sometimes it can be. But what you have to do is you have to, like, if you meet, one and you just don't it doesn't feel right and that person doesn't seem like they're really helping you like go on to the next one like I my last therapist was so amazing and I had to go to like

five different people before I met her or maybe three like whatever it is like if someone one or two chances but if they're not the right one move on and get somebody else because like anything a lot most people aren't good at what they do so most therapists suck but every now and then you find a really good one and you want to get a really good one do you know what I mean so use those resources to meet with somebody, but if they seem clueless or they can't help you or they're not, you know, go meet somebody else, meet someone until you, you'll know when you meet the right one, you will, you know, and then stick with that person and continue to talk with them. And if for some reason you go out and you feel around with a guy, like, you'll be,

you'll feel bad that maybe you quote unquote fill off the wagon, but whatever. Just keep doing your talking about things and getting things sort of figured out for yourself because I think this has to do with you not being able to accept the fact that you're by or maybe you're secretly gay like I don't know I think it's like something like that and you know what I mean no I'm not I'm not 100% on that but I really do appreciate you know just having somebody carrot oh my god I've never said this to anybody and yeah I think that that's great huge I can't tell you the burden on my back that's been you know slightly lifted yeah I think that that's great that's why I do my show because I actually do like helping people, you know? And I can't tell you the

emails. I mean, normally people don't tell me this on the podcast, though some have, but I always get emails afterwards from the minute the minute we hang up, someone emails me like, oh my God, that was like, especially the people that are really living double lives and secret lives. Like that was like the first time I ever said it out loud and it feels so great and it was really helpful just to get it like you said off your back. But I really think like you could do that all the time. time. You know, that's what this should show you, that how great it was to talk to me, that you could do that all the time if you have the right therapist.

And that's what it's about. How about, um, do we try to connect in like six weeks? Because I'm going to go home. Yeah, let's do it. Like, let's do. I'm going to work on this. I really do want to talk to a therapist. Yeah, you need to.

Six months we can get together and, and check in because I really appreciate. Yeah, I said that to the other guy too. I said, you know, if you want to continue to come back on my show every, couple of months or whatever it is to like sort of talk about things so that because I think that would be like really like an interesting kind of series right if I have somebody on that we sort of talk

to through their getting over their sex addiction and how it's go you know that's like really interesting stuff you know so yeah I'll have you back on anytime you want to talk and continue because I think it would be really interesting for people to listen to because what you're

going through and sex addiction or it's just very common and it's a common thing and I think it's not only will help you, it'll help other people. To hear it, not as it just a one-time thing, but to hear it as the process of what is going to happen from this day forward. You know what I mean? Where are you in three months? And then in three months from there and like, do you find a therapist? And how does that work?

So yeah, if you want to do that, I would love to. I think that that would be great. I would love to. Okay. Okay. Well, let me get back with you. Yeah. I'll send you an email.

Yeah. Whenever you feel like you've got some stuff to talk about or need to talk, we'll do it. Okay? Thank you. All right. Thanks, Buzz. Thanks for calling in. Bye. Bye. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly anonymous confession, secret sex lives of total strangers, is now available not only in paperback and ebook, but you can pre-order the audio book. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is B.

basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gangbang girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person. And they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person. And I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like Penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. 17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format,

paperback format. And finally, the audiobook is available coming out August 25th. But you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I've, will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint. Okay. There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me. Okay. I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other. And that's what you get to do there. You can post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total strictly anonymous community and you will love it. I will be. I will be. I will be

giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord. It's private, like I said. All you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook, or the paperback. Send it to me at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. That's strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. And I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in. The Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Do you have a story, lifestyle, or situation you can't talk about to anyone, to anyone? Or do you just want to let your freak flag fly? And be on the show.

Well, Strictly Anonymous wants to hear from you. Send us an email Strictly Anonymous podcast at gmail.com with your story and your anonymous name. And remember, everything is strictly anonymous. Directly anonymous.