Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 216 - Don is Secretly Revenge F***ing Escorts

Episode Date: February 5, 2018

Don is secretly revenge f***ing escorts and not one person knows about it, until now. Why did an otherwise faithful husband start cheating on his wife with escorts? What did she do to him? What did he do with the escorts? What is the status of their relationship now? Tune in to hear the whole juicy story as well as find out what's about to go down with him and his wife and another couple, and what went down with them and an escort just one year onto their marriage. **To see anonymous pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You're listening to Strictly Anonymous on the Riotcast network, riotcast.com. Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. Craigslist is definitely the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Singapore or Thailand. You can't not do it.

The temptation is just too much. Does your friend know that you're banging her? No, he has no idea. And anything goes. The motto of the show, let your three flag fly. Probably the only good advice I'll ever give you is to re-hide your whips and change. Here is your host, Kathy. Hey, welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast, Kathy.

If you want to follow the Strictly Numerous podcast and Twitter, follow the show at Cartoon Therapy and me. That's me at Cartoon Therapy or the show at Strict Anonymous. If you could write a review for my show, ready to review. If you haven't subscribed to my show, subscribe. if you want to buy my book. I wrote a book. I drew a book. It's like a graphic novel

about my really bad relationships. And they're really bad. They're just like true stories. It'll definitely make you feel better about yourself. You could buy my book on Amazon. It's called The Cartoon Miss Adventures of a Total Train Rec. That's me. That's the former me.

Okay. And you could also go to my website, Strictly anonymouspodcast.com, and just click on buy the book. And you can buy it that way. If you want to be on the show, you just go to that same website, strictly anonymous podcast.com, and click on Be on the Show and send me an email or send an email to Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com.

And I'll have you on the show. This is a calling of my show where I talked to Total Strangers about all kinds of things. So if you want to be on, if you have a problem or a secret life or a really good story you want to tell, while remaining anonymous or not anonymous, it doesn't really matter. You could be on the show, some mean email. Today I have on a guy who wrote in. He's a recent listener of the show, and then he was like, I got a story for you. He didn't give me any information going into the call, which I prefer.

So I had no idea what was going to happen, and he told the whole story in a really good way. Like, I mean, you know, he just, like, it unfolded like reading a good book. So I decided that I'm not going to tell you anything really about the story either. You're going to go in just the way I did. Sort of oblivious. I'll tell you the end of the story. I didn't even know that, but I'll tell you the end, which is like he's like, because I think it's going to be the title. Like he's like revenge fucking escorts.

And if you want to know why he's doing that, why he's screwing escorts in like secretly, you have to listen to the whole story. And his name is, I think it's Chris or I don't know. People make up names. Oh, no, Don, Don, Don, Don, or Don, Don, or Don, Don, that was, that's what I call him. So you're going to hear his story. You're going to hear why he's screwing escorts behind everyone's back and what that's all about. And like I said, it's kind of like hearing a good book, reading a good book, but you're going to be listening to it, like a book on tape.

I don't know. It's a good story. You know, it's not like an uncommon story. It's kind of like a typical story. But to me, it doesn't matter how many times you hear a story like this. It's always a little different. Each story has its own sort of things that make it unique and interesting. And you can analyze these kinds of stories in 10,000 different ways.

And that's why I like doing my show to prove that. So this is another one of those kind of stories, which I'm not going to tell you. But it's so obvious probably what it's about. I don't know why I'm keeping you in the dark. But that's just the mood I'm in today. But anyway, so I'm going to just get right to the episode. And I'll be right back on with Dawn. Do you have a story, lifestyle, or situation you can't talk about to anyone, to anyone?

Or do you just want to let your freak flag fly and be on the show? Well, Strictly Anonymous wants to hear from you. Send us an email, Strictly Anonymous podcast at gmail.com, with your story and your anonymous name. And remember, everything is strictly anonymous. Strictly anonymous. Hey, Don, Don, Don. I'm going to call you Don, Don, Don, or should I just call you Don? Don.

Don. Neither one's fine. Okay, Don. Don, let's just say Don, Don, sounds like you're like a child. Hey, Don, welcome to Strictly Don's podcast. How are you doing today? I'm doing good in yourself. I'm doing good.

So we're taping through WhatsApp, like online, right? So like if, I don't know, if shit goes bad, whatever, we'll start over again. But I think that this is going to work. And just so people know, because I'm talking to you and you're out of the country, I'm not going to say where you're from, you know, other people from other parts of the country, I mean, from other parts of the world can call in because, like, most people I get are normally within the United States, right? Because people can call through WhatsApp and other things like that. I can have people from all over now, call in. So that's a good thing.

But anyway, you don't live here, but you listen to the show and you wrote in and you didn't give me much information, which I prefer, actually. I mean, I have no idea what your secret life is all about. But the truth is you have kind of a secret life that you said if people found out about they'd be pretty surprised and this happened like maybe a couple years ago something happened and it sort of changed you and I don't know. Where do you start? You got to start with the story because I don't really have any information. No that's it. I wanted to keep it kind of clean. I like that. Yeah. Anyway, it's basically three parts. Start at the beginning. I'm in my early 40s now and when I grew up I was another one of the shy people kept to myself, didn't really, even in high school, didn't get out much, didn't do much.

But I always hoped I would meet somebody. And anyway, right out of high school, I started work. And a couple of years in, my future wife started working where I worked. And long story short, we got together and everything went pretty good. Yeah, she's five years younger than me. But we hit it off pretty early. and she was sort of the same as me, kind of reserved to, kept to herself.

But like I said, we went out a few times and pretty much right off, we hit it off, and everything really went well. So that was the first part, pretty boring, but it was a good start. Anyway, go about five, six years to the future, and we end up still working in the same place. We work kind of off-shift, not day-shift,

not quite great. It was kind of like in a place where there's a lot of people, but after a certain time, it's quieter. Right. So, so we worked with a few people. It was kind of a small group, but we really got along well, and people would start and stop and move in and out.

And anyway, one day this newer guy started, and we all got along really well. I became pretty good friends with him, and she did too. Mm-hmm. So we We hung out a little bit And At work or like you started to hang out outside of work?

Outside of work as well too. I work a lot but outside of work as well. Okay So Actually about six months in My My girlfriend who became my wife She actually became friends with his wife

Which was pretty cool We all hung together But about six or seven months into that I started to get a little bit of an inkling, there might have been more going on. I can't really, it was a few years ago, so I can't really give you 100% specifics, but I started to get just a feeling that maybe they were getting a little bit. Yeah, something wasn't quite right with it.

So I, every once in a while I'd confront her and not to be mean about it, but just sort of pick her brain, see if I could pick anything up. And she always wore up at that. Wait, but when you're saying her, do you mean, you were starting to think that something was going on with your wife and them? Or when you're talking about, when you say her, I was picking her brain. Are you talking about the other woman? No, no, no. It was my wife and the guy.

Oh, all right. So you thought something was going on with your wife and the guy? Yes. Okay, I thought you were thinking maybe, because I was a little confused. I was thinking that you were thinking that maybe something was going on where the both of them wanted to, like, you know, sort of swing with you guys. But you were thinking that something was going on with your wife and the guy and you start picking her brain. Okay, cool. And what does she say when you confront her?

Well, she got a little bit defensive and she was taking it as I was not allowing her to have friends. And I started to feel kind of bad too because I didn't want to be that person that's, you know, a guy and a girl can't be friends. And of course, I felt stupid after, but a little bit a long while after, I remember we at home, we were finished work one day. and I was just going through by emails, and we shared the computer. We had one computer in the house, and she happened to leave her email open. And there was an email from this guy to her.

And again, I can't really remember the specifics, but there was something in there that didn't seem right. And again, I confronted her, and it led to a big fight. And again, I forgot about it. Fast forward about six months, we end up getting married, and things get better,

but I still have that feeling inside. And you're still friends with them hanging out with them and the wife. Exactly, exactly. I was friends with a guy and we got along really well and she got along really well with his wife. And anyway, it turned out I think I was overreacting and she was always really upset. There was a few times where I apologized and I was like, you know, maybe I was just being overprotective. And I hated feeling like that. Yeah.

And you know, like that. makes you feel literally crazy because one part of you is like, you feel like, it's like the intuitive part of you feels like there's, you know something's going on. But then the logical side of you tries to talk you out of it because she's saying, like it just is a little crazy making shit. Exactly.

You're 100% right because that's exactly how I felt at the time. I felt crazy. I literally crazy. I wanted to have my, my suspicions in one way, but I'm like, I don't want to be one of those people that doesn't let people be friends. And I hated that.

And if you don't know. And you have no facts and there's no confirmation. Then, you know, like, one part of you kind of think something's up and they, you think that you know it's on that. But then another part of you doesn't know at all. So it's like it's very, it's very crazy to be in that position. So about, like I said, about a year later or so, we, we end up getting married and they're still friends. And there was one evening at work, though. I still remember it very vividly.

and what happened was they both sort of disappeared and again I'm a little bit suspicious but it's like weird yeah yeah time goes by and like I don't see either one of them I'm like it's really odd so I kind of took a walk around and there's certain areas that are really populated during the day but at night or at evening I mean it's really quiet so I kind of walk by and I see her walking around the corner and a really really weird look on her face and I'm like something's up so I turned the corner and there was like a washroom or something in the corner and I could have sworn I saw somebody but she grabbed me and kind of put me in ease and I said okay again it was one of those things and it created a big fight but I forgot about it so this is basically the end of that

so you never got any kind of confirmation that anything was going on between the two of them but you always had your sort of suspicion yeah that's right so about a few months after that he This guy that I was suspicious of ended up finding another job. He left. My wife was still friends with his wife. But as time went on, they sort of fell out of favor. They didn't really talk as much. And another six months or so, my wife actually became pregnant.

And we had our daughter about a year later. So I kind of put everything to rest. You must have been happy when that guy moved away. Right? Yeah, because like I said, I really honestly did like the guy. We got along really well. We hung out.

We'd watch sports together. We'd hang out outside of work. And I was glad she had some friends too, and she really could confide in. And everything was great. But at the same time, like you said, I wasn't really happy with them sort of disappearing sometimes. And I was always, always had a little part of me. He was suspicious.

Yeah, you're always going to be distrustful as long as he's in the picture. So once he leaves the picture, you must have been fucking happy. I mean, right? Yeah. Oh, right. You know it. So anyway, like I said, my daughter was born. They showed up, saw the baby. Everything was great. But they sort of lost touch with each other. And fast forward another five or six years, which comes to about, say, four years ago, roughly. I was, I worked odd hours, odd shifts. My wife doesn't work in the same place anymore. So she's kind of close, but not close, working around the house and working on my computer, doing something. And I happened to come across the file that it was like six or seven years old. I forget exactly. And there were actually copies of the emails that I had made when I was suspicious. And I had completely, completely forgotten that I had done that. What had happened was maybe two years before this, we had moved from our apartment into a house.

And as I was packing stuff up, I had found a specific piece of large, actually what it was, it was a package. And inside the package was a, it was a pair of fishnet stockings. And I thought it was really, really odd. And I asked her about it, my wife. And she said, well, I bought them for you. I just forgot about them. I said, okay, because she knows I kind of like the lingerie stuff once in a while. And so that answer kind of makes sense.

That's right. Yeah. So I forgot completely about it. But then as I'm going through and reading these emails, there's two or three that I'd kept. And I don't remember the specifics, but all of a sudden I hit onto one email. And it was this guy emailing her, and he mentioned fishnet stockings, and all of a sudden it hit me. I'm like, something, right. Finally, you have some kind of connection that you're not crazy.

Exactly. Yeah. I'm a little bit torn because this is four years later, five years later, whatever, we have a daughter, and everything seems pretty good. So I kind of sat on that for a couple days, and I wasn't sure what I should do, but all those things that I'd had from the past were starting to come back, and I wasn't feeling too. good about it. So finally one day I confronted her, I said, listen, I said, I have these. And I said, I know wrong to do, but I said something. And right away, she sort of started to break down.

And she says, yeah, it happened. I had an affair. And what I found out was. Why did she tell you? Yeah. She was like in the clear. She could have just made up another lie. She was doing so good.

And really what it happened was, it was much worse than I thought. because it had been going on for a long, long time. It was like two or three years. Oh, my God. They were fucking right in the same building while you guys were at work. Like everything. And I still work in the same place. So I go back to work and I'm like, everything reminds me of it.

Oh, my gosh. Yeah, that's bad. I was literally completely crushed because my work was kind of violated and my wife and my French, every, I just, in an instant. instant, I had no trust for anybody ever again, and I'm like, I just don't know how to deal with this. Yeah. So I, and like I said, I tried to be calm about it for, but for about a month there, I was really not pleasant to be around. I kept to myself, like, around other people, but when she was around,

I wasn't very pleasant. Uh-huh. How old was your daughter at this point? I want to say about six or seven years old. Okay. She had just started school, so she wasn't very old. Right. But the thing that bothered me too was I went back to that thing with the fish nets.

And I remember when I opened it, there was a receipt still in the package. And it was purchased whatever, it was December of whatever year it was, which was about two months before my wife was pregnant. Oh, God. So I basically asked her, I said, is there any chance that she's not mine? Yeah. And all she told me was, no, I know my body. That's it. I'm like, well, that's not really an answer for me because it doesn't, that doesn't guarantee me anything.

Not that it really matters because by now, no matter what, she's my daughter. Right, but still, right. But it's one of those things that was eating at me. Like, I'm, I kind of want to know and I kind of don't want to know sort of thing. Yeah. But now it's like, yeah, I mean, you don't want to know. You don't want that ever. But now that that thing is in your head and there's, you know, a reason for you to believe that maybe she's not.

There's that what, even if it's a one percent chance, you know. And it's more than 1% right. She's fucking this other guy at the same exact time. How could you not need to know now? It's almost like you wish that you didn't have that information. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah. Right?

Yeah, exactly. And there was times too where, again, she was friends with his wife. Right, of course. Yeah. I'm working different shifts in that. There was times where she went to visit his wife at their place. Now, I don't know if his wife was actually there. I always assumed it.

Right. Maybe the wife wasn't there She was going to visit him That's exactly right So I'm like I said I've had so many scenarios in my head And of course now I'm not only Feeling crazy

I'm feeling really angry Because you made me feel crazy And all these years later I'm finding out I wasn't crazy after all Yeah unfortunately I mean that's the way that it always is Especially that's what I always say Like a lot of you know people who are cheating

Or always like sort of putting down the other person Like they're acting so crazy They're so crazy It's just like, well, you're fucking doing something behind their back. And they kind of know what I mean? They know, but they don't know. And that's crazy making. But it's coming from the fact that you're doing something behind their back.

You know what I mean? Exactly. And I remember, too, like I said, once everything started to come back in my head, I'm like, I remember having the argument with her too. Because when I asked her about those emails, it's like, well, you have no business going in my emails. But first of all, you left it open. And second of all, well, after I read one of them, I was a little bit suspicious. and you were the one doing something you weren't supposed to, not me.

And I was just looking for confirmation because I'm like, if I find something else, I need to know. I don't want to be left in the dark. Yeah, listen, at this point, you guys are married or you're getting married. I mean, somebody that didn't have anything to hide and wasn't cheating and fucking your friend behind your back would never say to you, you have no right to go into my email if it was just like up on the computer, you're sharing computer. You know what I mean?

They wouldn't even be a thing that they would even think of, you know? Right. She just said that because, you know, what else is she going to say? You know, that was all she had to make herself feel right about. That was the only thing she was right about. And that's, like, kind of bullshit if you asked me. There's always, like, that sort of that moral question, like, oh, if you're, like, with somebody, is it right to go looking through their stuff?

And, you know, I mean, you got to take it on a case-by-case basis. And when somebody is really doing something and they're completely lying to you and you're going crazy and they're still making you go crazy and their fucking emails right in front of you, just go look at it. Okay, like, I'm sorry. I don't think it's bad. You know what I mean? Like I really don't.

No, that's it. And to be honest, like I said, the first time or second, I forget what, she left it open. But of course, after the first little bit of suspicion went in, I started every once in a while. Going and looking. Right, of course. Exactly. So I wasn't 100% in the clear either, but I figured I had somewhat reason to be in. You were a human being.

You were going crazy. I've been in that position before. You know what I mean? If you were my friend, I'd be like right there with you looking and trying to help you find something because I would, you know, You wanted to, you know, either make those suspicions go away or just no. It's like a very bad place to be, you know? So anyway, we were back and forth. For about a month, I wasn't in a very good place.

And we argued a lot. And I tried to be very strong in front of our daughter. I didn't want to have her deal with it. But, of course, to take some of the pain away, I started to drink a little bit. And I didn't do it to the point where I couldn't function. But it, you know, it's like a liquid lubricant. And it kind of makes you say and do things that you normally don't do. There was one evening we were really, really going at it a bit.

And it's late at night. And I remember her asking, like, what do you want? And I didn't really have an answer. And I told her, I kind of think I need some time because I don't know how to process all this. Because you've kind of destroyed everything that I ever had. You've destroyed what we had. You destroyed any trust I had with any kind of friends I had. And even I go to work and it just reminds me of it as I walk around.

Yeah, yeah. So anyway, it came to the point where she out and out told me, she says, well, we have to kind of stop discussing this because you're starting to make me feel bad. And I stopped for like about five seconds before I really laid into her. Like, this isn't about you. This is about me. You've had. But as I looked up, I could hear my daughter sort of in the background and I walked over and she had sort of overheard some of it, not all of it. And she was really crying.

Right. And I went in to comfort her and she basically, she hadn't heard anything. didn't know what was going on, but she was afraid we were going to split. My heart instantly melted, and I'm like, okay, I have to try to make it work for her. Exactly. I have to try to work through it at least to see what happened. She's still young. I don't want her to grow up in a, it's nothing wrong with it.

It's not like you're just thinking about yourself. It was just for you, you'd fucking walk, but it's now you have a child. And that's a very, you know, traumatizing thing to happen to a child at six years old for their parents to separate, right? It didn't happen to me, but I've heard people talk about it. you know, the child, it's a lot to put on them. So the next day I told my wife, I said, listen, I'm going to take a day just to think about it, but I said, I want to work on it.

We obviously, at this point, we've been together probably 15 or 16 years now. So I said, I don't want to throw it away. Let me, the company I worked at actually had a really good service where you can call. It's completely anonymous. And they'll set you up with counseling over the phone or in person. And in my particular case where I live, it's really far away from anything. it was easier to do over the phone. So I set up some counseling over the phone.

And it really helped. The woman I spoke with, she was very supportive. And I explained everything. And she suggested that maybe we should actually go for couples counseling because we were both kind of in this together. Yeah. So what I did was contact. There's like a community center sort of set up where we live.

And basically what they do is they send two questionnaires out. Both spouses fill them out. you send them back and then they call you back. So we went in and what it is, they kind of interview you together. And right off the bat, it didn't start well for me because

the woman that was doing our interview said she read everything over and then she just basically looked at me. She's, well, haven't you ever had done anything you've been ashamed of? I said, well, not like this. This isn't something that I'm like, it's not petty in my eyes and it's something pretty serious.

Long story short. she recommended, well, since my wife had already been dealing with this for so many years, I was the one that needed therapy, not her. And I'm like, well, whatever. I'm willing to do anything to try. So I was basically shuffled off. So I'm getting therapy from two different people at the same time. What do you mean therapy from two different people? First of all, that lady's

nuts, that therapist. Are you kidding? That's why I say it kind of left a bad taste in my mouth. I wasn't trying to become bad of or anything. It's just I mean, to say, like, haven't you ever done anything? It's not like this was like a little thing that she did that you could compare. You know what I mean? I just said something.

I didn't eat the extra piece of cake. It was, you know what I mean? Yeah. I mean, that was like the most weird. But I mean, I say this all the time because I always, I'm very pro therapy, but I always say that like it's like the 90-10 rule. Like 90% of everything is garbage and 10% is good. So you're going to find more therapists that are terrible, then you're going to

find therapists that are good, you know? But you got to always keep going until you find the really good one. because when you get, because therapy does work and it is really beneficial. You just got to find the right person, you know? Yeah. Anyway, I finished up in therapy with the woman on the phone, the one that was set up through my company. It went really well. And then I actually went through and I had thought about things and thought about things.

And I actually told the one that I met in person. Like, I think I can forgive her. It's just the forgetting is the problem right now because there's still a few things in my mind that I'm afraid to ask and that maybe I don't really want to know it. So I explained everything to her and she was, she agrees, but she said, if you need more help, come back. And so that was the end of that. And that was about three to four years ago. But I still had this really big sadness. And this kind of starts getting to my secret part.

And as I've gone through some of your podcast, I see I'm not alone because what started to happen was I was kind of looking for something else besides the alcohol to kind of smooth over the wounds because I wasn't. wasn't feeling good still, even though I sort of put the past behind me, I'm like, I need to do something more because, like I said, I'd been, even when I was younger, I felt, I felt really awkward and I didn't feel like I fit anywhere. But with my, with my wife, and it was all good. And I'm the kind of person that's so you mean like three or four years later, like you, you and her had worked past things and things were okay? That's it. We're coming up to about two years ago. Yeah. But I still wasn't very happy.

So I kind of, I remember one night, one of the things the therapist recommended I should take some time for myself because I was always around somebody.

I didn't take any time for myself. So she suggested, even if you just go out watch a movie by yourself, go do it. Right. I said,

that's fine. So I, what I did was I went out a couple times and I watched a couple movies and then there was this one time I went, drove about an hour away, watched a movie,

and then afterwards I had something to eat, had something to eat. I had a couple drinks, and I started having a few fewer interbitions. So on my phone, I'm starting to search through and what

pops up is escort ads. And at first, I closed it off and didn't think anything of it, but the more I thought about it, it's like maybe, because I, before I met my wife, I'd never been with anybody else, and she was actually the same with me before me. We were both virgins when we met. Mm-hmm. So my head started to go through things and like, well, she's been doing somebody else.

Maybe it's time for me to try it, just to try it. Actually, one thing I forgot to mention to you, when we had our one-year anniversary after we were married, we actually called an escort and had a threesome. Mm-hmm. It was something we had talked about a little bit, and nothing much happened. We got together. My wife and the escort made out, and they basically both went down on me, but then I ended up just having sex with my wife. didn't really do much with the escort. It was more for her to play with her.

She didn't really, it was kind of awkward because, like I said, we'd both only been with each other. Right. So it kind of, it was good, but it wasn't good. And then after all this other stuff came out a few years later, I was kind of suspicious that this was set up so she could go back and talk to this other guy about it. And actually, in my head, I'd wondered if this whole thing was something for him and her

to get together with his wife. But, of course, like I said, I was, I was so crazy at the time. I didn't know what I was believing anymore. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe they did have three. Well, you don't know. Right. But anyway, like I said, back to that night, I'm looking through the ads and I couldn't bring

myself to do it, but at the same time, I'm like, I'm just so curious now that maybe it's time for me to do something to make myself feel better. And I was the kind that never believed in anything like that before. I had nothing against it, but I'm like, well, I was. You mean cheating or escorts or both, right? Uh-huh, cheating. I had nothing against because we, like I said, we tried right. Yeah.

That's right. And I never had anything against it. So anyway, I found, I had looked before because it was kind of like in the back of my head, but I never acted on it. So there was one actually really close to where I'd been. So I didn't, because I, I didn't want to drive very far either. Not that I was drunk, but I didn't want to drive too far until I kind of sobered up a bit. Yeah. And it was basically one block down the road.

So I called, what was, was it's a, you call a receptionist and they run out of a hotel. They have a room that they rent and they have about five different girls. And what happens is you call and they give you a description of who's working and you pick from that. So I called up. Like over the phone? Exactly. Okay. So, because I was like Uber careful.

I always use throw away emails and I have apps that. Well, you should know how to be careful because you were. were on the other end of things so you know how to like lie right because you know all the bad lying that got her caught exactly so oh my god so i call up and i talk to receptionist a bit and i'm kind of back and forth and i'm not sure and she says well listen i have this one she's newer too and i think she'd be perfectly said fine so i drove down the road how much were they charging you for this hookup actually it's fairly cheap uh if i remember it was about 120 dollars per hour okay Cool.

So I go in, I go down the stairs, I walk down, knock on the door, and I'm like, at this point, my heart is pounding. I've never done any like this before. And I'm also still in that awkward stage where I don't, I'm still very, I don't feel like it's going to be a good reception. So anyway, she opens the door and a nice big smile, and right away I felt a little bit more comfortable and went in, sat down on the bed with her. And she explained to me, she says, well, this is my restriction. I don't do anal and I don't do whatever. I forget what it was. That's fine.

What do you like? And I kind of froze and she was basically after a few minutes. She said, it's okay. I can see you're nervous. Just relax and I'm going to make you feel better. So she gave me a massage and went through the paces. She did oral on me and eventually she got on top of me and half an hour later we were done. And I didn't feel guilty, but I kind of.

felt a little bad because I'm like I didn't want to be one of those people but at the same time I sort of felt a little bit better and like okay I've it wasn't like I was doing it for revenge I was as much as I could say in my head I was doing it just to uh to satisfy me a curiosity so I left and what happened was I I told her thank you and I tried to be polite because I didn't I try to treat like anybody else I don't want to be mean to anybody I anyway I leave and I call the receptionist back and I told her thanks and she says well if you don't mind what it is you give you give your name but of course I don't use my real name says what we can do is if you have an email we can send out just who's

working over the next few that's fine yeah so I forgot about it but about a month later I started to get the itch again and it's like I'm starting to get in my head where I don't want to do this but I'm really really torn so I call the same number back you're torn because you're like really horny with the like when you think about it like the thought of it is making you like excited. Exactly. It's one of those things where part of me really, really wants to do it because I enjoyed having variety.

Yeah. But the other part of me is like now I'm doing exactly to my wife what she did to me. Yeah. And you know how that feels. I don't feel good about it. Right. I'm still not quite over that sadness where I just, anyway, I call back and she had my name marked down and I said, okay, I just like somebody.

Because what I really, really, really like to do is I like to perform. I like to go down on a girl. So I asked her if there was somebody that enjoyed that because not everybody likes that. She goes, yeah, and I forget the name. We'll say her name was Brittany. Yeah. She enjoys it and she's very open. So I went in and I was a little bit more comfortable the second time around.

It was the same place and went downstairs and she opened it. And she was probably not more than 22 years old. Now at the time, I'm probably 35 or 36. Yeah. So I'm feeling a little bit, not out of place, but maybe she's too young, but she was very happy and very comforting. So I started, I gave her a massage this time and then I eventually went down on her and I spent quite a bit of time and she really was responsive. She got into it quite a bit and she let me know how good it was. Now, of course, at the same time, I'm thinking it's an act.

She's just doing this because she wants me to come back or leave a big tip. But at the same time, I can tell she's actually really, really enjoying it. She's not putting on a complete show, maybe some of it. But then it came time for me to get on top of her. And she had given me a condom to put on. And I put it on, but it was a little bit small for me. She actually looked and said, oh, you're a lot bigger than I thought you would be. And, of course, that's like probably for most men.

That's like crack. I mean, you get that in your head. And so she gives me a bigger, anyway, I finish with her. And again, I thank you very much. And I left. And this time I had given her, I'd given her the same email that I gave to the receptionist just to keep in touch. Because she said, if you're ever interested, I'll give you my schedule. If you want to come back and see me again, that's fine.

Yeah. A couple days later, I got an email and it was Brittany herself. And she said, I'd never had orgasms like that. I really hope you come back and see me again. I'm like, yeah, yeah, of course. I'm just assuming this is a stick. Yeah. That's what I would think.

But a few months later, I again, was back in town. I'm like, well, maybe I'll do it one last time. And I called up and the receptionist said, oh, is this dawn, the same one that saw Brittany, yep. Apparently what happens is there's the girls together, they'll get together too and they'll talk about clients. And actually, I was given, they give reviews too and they give a very, a very good review of me. So again, it's like cracking my head. I'm like, really? And so this other one would like to see you.

So I went and saw her and the same thing happened. I spent a good hour just on her. And she was like, she was into it. She was arching her back. And she was like screaming. And there was a point where I thought maybe the cops were going to show up because it was getting to the point where she was. But again, in the back of my head, like, this is great. I'm feeling more fulfilled than I ever had, even though with my wife,

I always have and always will. I do as much as I can to have her orgasm before I do. I want to make sure she has a satisfaction before I do. But it was just, in my head, it was kind of nice to have that feeling with somebody else, knowing that it wasn't a good sort of thing. And it's just fueling by, fueling my want to see that again and again and again. And she mentioned it as well. She was, oh, you're looking at you.

I wouldn't think you're that big down there. I'm like, oh, I kind of wish you wouldn't say that because, so I, this is going on now. After about a year, I'd gone maybe five times, six times. And I'm like, I got to stop because I don't, first of all, I don't want to get caught. And second of all, this isn't really who I am. I'm not the kind of person that does this. I really not. I want to act all innocent, but at the same time, it's like the self-affirmation I'm getting from doing it,

it just really, really was helping me deep down. Right. But I stopped for about four or five months, and then I started looking in my area closer to home, I started to notice a few ads pop up, and it's kind of a website like Backpage where it's more amateur people doing it. And what I did was I contacted one person,

and I didn't think anything of it. And then the next day I got an email back, and she basically explained, I'm a single mother, and I'm doing this on the side just to help pay the bills. I said, okay. So I said, I had weird hours, like I said, I don't know when I'll be able to see you, but I'd like to see you eventually. So finally the day came and again, I got to the point where I said, I just can't help myself.

So I called her up and she goes, yeah, get here in a half an hour. So I went there again and same thing. I really did what I could with her and she seemed to enjoy it. And I sort of half explained things to her saying, you know, like I'm doing this. I don't feel great about it, but she had told me she'd come out of a bad relationship, too. And she was kind of doing this because she wasn't ready to have a full-time boyfriend anymore, but she sort of enjoyed having clients on the side. Yes, she made money, but some of the people she met were really, really comforting to her.

So I'm like, I felt somewhat better out of that. Again, I don't know how much of it's true or not, but I went with it, and I saw her one other time and everything seemed great. And then about a week or two later, I got an email from her telling me that one of her friends actually was wanting to get into the business. And if I would agree to go over and see her just to be like not a test client, but one of the early clients, because she wasn't, her friend wasn't really sure if she was going to like it or not. So I said, fine. I did that too. And now this is, like I said, we're going on a year, year and a half after I found everything out.

I'm starting to, the guilt is starting to pull in a bit because I said, you know what? this is getting to the point where I'm really having a problem because I know part of it is probably they're playing me a little bit, but at the same time, every time I hear that, and I know that I'm doing something, you know, if I'm making them feel good, I'm feeling good at myself too. So I, I did go over and I saw her and I said, this will be the last time, but she was very nice and she was the same thing. She was a friend of this other woman that I had met. She was a single mother and she'd had some bad experiences, but she wasn't sure if she really wanted to be in it. She just, she wanted to try it out to see how she would like it. Because the other, the first one that I met, she'd had some bad

experiences, so she wasn't quite sure. And I guess they were pretty honest with each other. But I saw her and I said, this has got to be it because I really started to doubt myself because I didn't, my biggest thing was I didn't want at this time now, this is about a year and a half ago. My thought was if my daughter was ever Find out, what would she think of me? That was my worst fear, really. Right. Uh-huh.

But everything went well, and I had stopped up until about six months ago, and I went. That was the last time I actually went. I saw one more escort, and I don't know what it was that caught my eye, whether I happened to be alone. They were out doing something, and your podcast, you always say you hate when you leave and the man's alone at home. As soon as I heard that, I'm like, yep. I went and saw her, and she,

and seen that now, about a year and a half ago, I'm now in my early 40s, and she was, she told me she was 21, but I would guess she was more like 19 or 20. And again, I had a good time, but as I'm leaving, I'm thinking about him, like, back of my mind, she's probably only about seven or eight years older than my daughter. And I said, something right there stopped me.

And I said, you know what? I have to stop, but over the last three years or so since I had found out what really happened with my wife and this other guy, I must have gone every three or four months. While at the same time, I'm putting on this not show, but I try to keep where no one who knows me would realize what I'm actually doing with my free time. Yeah, of course. Nobody knows. Like you haven't told anybody except everyone that's listening to this podcast. Exactly.

Right. No, that's it. And the escorts. How long has it been since you've done something like that? It's been six or eight months. I don't remember exactly, but it was in the last year, but it's been a while now. Yeah, keep going. No, I was just going to say, but the thing that sort of makes it, I think, a happy ending,

I would say anyway, is maybe about five or six months ago, my wife and I started talking a little bit, and she'd actually brought up when we went and saw that escort. on our first anniversary. And one thing she brought up was, she was, well, back then I was pretty young. And I didn't enjoy myself because I was really jealous watching you with the other girl.

Even though I hadn't done anything full on, she had blown me, done it, you know, massage me and a few things like that. And I'm thinking the back of my mind, like, you're jealous of that. I didn't really do anything. And you were actually there when you were doing stuff behind my back. But what had happened was, after a little bit of talking

one of us, I think she brought it up. She said, asked me if I thought it would be hot if we would ever meet up with another couple and maybe watch them have sex in front of us and we could do the same. And I said, you know what? I've thought of that too. So it sort of started to lead in the path

where we were going to start looking to go out together and start finding that. Yeah, that is good. So then you'll be able to have that variety and all that's up within your relationship, and you won't have to keep doing this other thing. Because, you know, you say it's not revenge, but a part of you could do it

because there's still a part of you, maybe with the unresolved feelings of, like, sort of maybe anger at what she had done to you, right? So it was, you could not feel 100% horrified by what you were doing to her, right? It was like a little bit you could justify it, right? She kind of did this to me. No, exactly.

You know, like, as much as I say it's not out of revenge, I'm sure it's at least 50% out of revenge. And it's the other 50% to try my myself feel better. And as time's gone on, I have felt better. I understand shit happens. I get it. The thing that I had a problem with, with that whole thing with her and the other guy was,

it's probably stupid to say. But if it was one of those things where it was a one-night stand, shit happened. Sometimes you let stuff get out of control. I can almost understand it. But this went on for about two years. Yeah, there's so many. Well, that's why I always say this on my podcast,

because I have so many different people that call in and that cheat on their wives or their cheating stories, cheat on their boyfriends, whatever it is, cheating in general, right? Whether a man or a woman. And I always say, like, you can't just make a blanket statement and say like every single person that cheats is horrible. I mean, there's very, there's, like, you have to hear the whole story, right? Because every kind of cheating is different. And it's, some of them are a lot worse than others. I mean, what happened to you is one of the worst because A, it was with somebody that you were friends with. It was like right. under your nose. I mean, there was massive deceit going on. It wasn't like it was like you said a one-night thing. Maybe she was fucking drunk. She fucked somebody. You know what I mean? Never saw them again. I mean, you had probably one of the worst scenarios that could happen to somebody, you know, the worst kind of cheating, which is like, you know, and you were able to get to some point, like, and to stay with her and have, you know, to keep that relationship going. But, you know, there was, little bit that was still in you that wasn't completely probably over it. And it, or, you know, or maybe you have a little bit of that and you.

That's the whole thing. Somebody recently in my podcast was putting down cheaters. Oh, yeah, it was that guy that was on my show recently who's never been married. And he was like, you're putting down the guy who cheated on his wife. I'm like, yeah, you know that you would never fucking cheat. You've never been in a relationship for 10 years. You know, you just don't know, right? And like, look what happened to you.

You're not a cheater, but you cheated, right? Like your wife, you looked at her down on her for so, you know, so much because of what she did. And then, you know, fast forward a couple of years, you're doing the same fucking thing. And it just really goes to show you that you can't. That's why I'm not judgmental about things because you just never know, right? Things just like happen, right? And human beings are just like messy and life is messy and these kind of things happen. And it's kind of crazy because here you are somebody that was like a victim of something that was so horrible.

And you know how it feels to be cheated on it. And then you become the cheater. You know, it's kind of interesting, right, to be on the other foot. Like, does that, let me ask you this, because I had one girl who was cheated on by her boyfriend, then she started, like, sort of fucking somebody else. And then she started to realize that, like, she had, she was able to accept his cheating more because she started to realize like that it didn't really mean anything. Like, there was, like, you know, when she was able to have sex with somebody else behind his back,

I don't know. Like, what she said was, it was interesting to me because she said it kind of made her realize it wasn't that bad. I don't know. It gave her like a different perspective, right, on his cheating when she was cheating. Did any of that occur to you or not at all? No, as time, like I said, time heals all wounds, I guess is what they say. And as time's gone on, it's gotten a little bit, it still bugs me because there's not a day that goes by that I don't think about it.

And think about that one night, especially where I went through and I could have actually basically caught them in the act. If I had have seen that right there that many years ago, things would have been different. But like I remember very vividly you mentioning in one of your podcasts, something along the lines if you think there's people on the other side sort of watching out for you. Yeah. And that stuck in my head because I thought to myself, you know, if I had opened that door or whatever it happened, my life would be completely different.

Right, your daughter wouldn't exist. One way or another. So I'm like, maybe everything happened. for a reason. Maybe it's not the end of the world. Right. You weren't ready to. You're supposed to be with this person. Right. Because like if you can't like to say that moment would have changed it would take away every single day you've had since then. Right. And I'm sure it's more good than bad, right? Even though you that was a terrible thing that happened to you. So I think that's a very positive way to look at things. And that's it. It took me a year or so maybe two years almost to realize that.

And as I moved forward like you said, it's I can understand it more. we're human beings. It's animal instincts. There's some things you can't control. Sex drive, the drive for sex is very powerful. Look, it has you,

even going back, even though you know it's wrong, it had her fucking your friend right underneath your nose, right in the beginning of her marriage, because she was just so horny for him. But now maybe you could understand that because you were so horny for those girls.

And it was variety. It wasn't like you were in love with her, right? That's right. That's right. And that's how I sort of justified it in my head. Like, well, I have nothing with these people, even though a couple of them after the fact would sort of contact me, like, it was really good.

And I always assumed it was because they wanted more money. But like I said, the first time or two, but what was nice about it, I try to take some positive out it. Yeah. Because like I said, as I'm growing up, I'm really awkward. I don't feel like anybody has any kind of attraction toward me. And as the last couple years have taught me, I've noticed a couple of times where now I'm starting to see maybe people. are flirting with me and I wouldn't have seen that before I would have just brushed it I've never thought twice about it it happened like my wife bugs me uh we go to grocery stores we go to walmart stuff like that she always tells me those cashiers and these people were totally flirting with you i'm like no they're not there was one time a year ago actually i went to walmart and i was waiting

in line and i had my phone out and the girl behind the cash took my phone she goes oh what are you looking at and here's my instagram account and please put me me on your list and she put and then I went back a week later and I've been putting all these pictures up for you and you're not commenting on. I'm like, what the fuck is going on? Because I'm, I'm in my early fordison. She's maybe 20 years old and it got me in a bit of trouble. But at the same time, like deep down, I felt a little bit happy that that happened. It's like, you know what? I have something that I never knew before. Right. And maybe I think what you're getting at is that maybe sort of being with those women and having them sort of like,

feed your ego, right? Yeah. Maybe helped your self-esteem. Exactly. I know it sounds stupid, but... No, there was a guy. Wait, there was a guy. It's probably a podcast that people have to go to Lipson to find it because it's

very old, but there was like an older guy who like, really, and he, it was really real, like, if you listen to the podcast, that like going to escorts really helped him feel better about himself, you know, for real. I actually remember listening to that one. There was a couple that stuck out in my mind. I remember the one that sort of. started everything with me contact. He was, I think her name was Christine,

the one that was gang banged. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you hear the three podcasts? Because that was an interesting rollout. That was the one. The third one when she actually broke up and I heard her, she was bad because he went through her text. I'm like, holy fuck, that's me right there. Exactly. Yeah. And I was a little bit pissed,

but at the same time, I said, I've lived through, I can almost understand both sides of that. Right, now you can. That's right. And then there was another one. It was Gabe I believe he was another one that his wife cheated on him. And I remember listening to that and like, oh my God, I feel so fucking bad for this guy. There was two in a row that I had.

And it was very interesting to me because each person sort of had the same thing happen. And the one who fared better and was having, you know, like swinging with his wife and was able to get over it, had a much worse scenario happened to him, right? I mean, he found out that that girl was pregnant by somebody out, right? And he kept with that. I mean, it was really. really bad what happened to him and he was able to not only pass that, you know, get beyond that and stay with his wife. They were having like the best relationship anyone could ever imagine because they were like swinging and fucking other people and they were in an open relationship and it was all really good. I mean, this didn't ruin their relationship, it helped their relationship eventually. That's right. I actually listened to those two podcasts back to back because you had mentioned that you had two sort of similar but with completely different ending. Yeah. I sort of see myself sort of a mix of the two because I can sort of see both.

but I'm trying to have the better ending out of it. That's what I'm trying to work for. And actually, the last six months or so, my wife and I, we've sort of started to look through the Craigslist ads and sort of things like that. We've actually, we've started to, we sort of chat with another couple, and we're getting to the point where there's a chance we might eventually meet up there. And we've expressed basically the main, main point of this is my wife really is curious. She wants to go down on another woman.

and the life of this other couple really wants to be explored like that. So it's like we're getting close to that point. It seems that way. That's just the only thing in the back of my mind, I still have that worry like, could something come up? You know what I mean? Like maybe I'm being overreactive about it, but I'm still a little bit gun shy on it. How come? Just because I'm afraid, even though like I've basically told her, I said, it's okay if we do this,

but I'm going to be in control of all the communication. You're going to see everything. Like, I'm not going to hide it. Well, wait, because you still worried that she would be started out there? But it. Well, at this point, maybe it's because you don't trust yourself either. I mean, because... No matter what we do, we're doing it together.

We're not going to contact anybody. Like, if I get a text or something from this person or this couple, I show her. If a picture, we've been trading picks back and forth, and we're going to be doing a FaceTime live sort of thing and we can work out, we're going to actually try to meet up in the next month or two. too. Yeah, you're definitely going to be, you're definitely heading that direction. I mean, there's, you're going to, I mean, I can't wait for that call because I want to, I want that story too. You know, that's the next part of the story. Right? You said, yeah, three parts. That's the

fourth part, right? Exactly. It's incomplete right now. But I think it's very smart of you to, you know, create some rules and regulations beforehand because I've got another thing that I have a lot on my podcast or is like swingers gone wrong stories right and i have swingers that go very right stories too right and the difference is the people who are really sort of honest with each other and they have they you know they communicate about it and they have their rules and their boundaries or whatever ahead of time you know intact and you know you got to know yourself right if you still have a little bit of you that doesn't trust her because of what happened because there was a lot of deceit going on in that relationship even though people would be like you're a fucking hypocrite you're cheated too but

That's, we're not talking about that, right? We're talking about you in the scenario and you need to sort of be in control of things. Then that's what you need, you know, but like I feel like I have to be devil's advocate and say like what, there's other people that are probably listening right now and saying, but what about you? Like, what if you start having something with somebody else? I mean, can you trust yourself? I can. I know it, like you said, it sounds hypocritical to say it, but at my mind, I have a really good life. We both have a really good life.

we're enjoying what we have right now. And if we can add to it, that's basically what we want. I have no, no inkling to start anything. Like I said, I've had. Do you still go to therapy? No, I haven't. It's been about a year.

I think you, this is what you need to do because I think you're headed in the right direction with her. I think if she never finds out and you never fuck another escort, I think that would be really good, you know. But I think you need to resolve that little bit. of stuff that you still have that's against her in this scenario. I don't think you're 100% over what happened. And I understand that. I think it's really hard, right? I think you're really close, but I think you should, while you're doing everything else with your wife and moving on

with your relationship and getting involved in swinging and doing all that stuff, I think you should continue just to talk to somebody and try to get rid of that last 5% because then not only, like I said because you maybe trust her more, you could trust yourself. Because at this point, you know, what about you in this situation? You know, you had that, like, you know what that desire, that sexual sort of pull is, you know, what if you start to want to do something and, you know, if that little part of you is still inside, that kind of feels like, well, she did that and I didn't know, you know, you might wind up doing that. And you don't want to screw things up. like you're almost like

because you listen if she ever found out about the escorts she'd probably dump your ass she probably wouldn't stay with you like you stayed with her right this is the fact yep no you're right it's not gonna happen so you know you're at this point

you're like scot free right just like her but eventually she I don't know those fucking tights that you found I mean in so many years later and then she said she admitted it to you I mean like my advice to you is deny deny deny if anything came out five years from now But like you don't want her to find out, but you don't ever want to do it again because if she did find out, you know, like I said, you'd lose everything that you work so hard to sort of keep intact. So I think it's best for you to stop with the fucking escorts. If she's going to give you full rain to screw other people, I think you're going to have to learn how to trust her more. And I think that has to do with you sort of going into therapy and coming clean with somebody else besides me and my listeners about what you did and maybe face that part of, you.

you and what you did and what that was all about. Maybe that'll help you, you know, so that you go into this next phase, if you guys are going to become full on swingers and everything, in a, in a, way that's like more sort of grounded and safe that it will be a positive experience and it doesn't blow up in your fucking face. Yeah. No, that's it. Like even about a month ago, right when the holidays were hitting, there was a time too where I was actually, believe it or not, I was proud of myself, but we were at home and one of her girlfriends came over, my wife's girlfriends came over

and they kept to themselves, but we were playing cards together too and we all drank quite a bit and my wife doesn't keep her alcohol well, so ended up being one two in the morning, she went to bed the girlfriend was staying over, girlfriend had kids,

she's friends with my daughter so wife's in bed and I'm sitting on the couch just after cleaning out of me. I'm just going to watch a little bit of TV before I turn in. Her friend sits really close to me and I forget the conversation, but I started to get the feeling like she's asking for something and I sort of changed. Was she drunk too? She was well lubricated.

Yeah. Okay. I wasn't actually out of everybody, I was actually the best. I'd only had a couple drinks. I wasn't too bad. Uh-huh. But she's a single mother. She'd been alone for quite a while and my wife and her pretty good friends.

and it just seemed to me like, again, maybe I'm, maybe I'm overextending it, but it just seemed like she was maybe coming on to me a little bit. But the funny thing about all that was my wife actually really has a girl crush on her, put it that way. She would actually like to go farther with her, but this girl has no desire to do anything with her. Yeah, to try that. Right. Because the funny thing was I actually asked her a couple of weeks, my wife, a couple of weeks ago, I said, when you get time, if you see a picture on the internet, pick your biggest fantasy, just pick your biggest fantasy, take a picture of it and send it to me on my phone. I'd like to know.

Yeah. So the next day I was at work and I get a text and I open it up and basically what it is, it's two women in the 69 and the guys behind one of the women banging her. Uh-huh. So I asked my wife and said, which one are you? She was, well, I'm the one underneath looking the other one while you're banging her. Right. So she wants to see you with somebody else, too. She does.

Yeah, so there's no reason for you to go straying because she's going to let you do it right with her. And that's kind of what I'm trying to take from it too. Like, I've done my bad stuff. I don't feel great about it. I've been good for the last year, year and a half. I have it straight. And just with this other stuff coming out, I'm like, well, maybe that's a sign, too, that the stars are aligning. Maybe I should just not chance it.

and see how things go. Yeah, do not. First of all, so you haven't been with an escort in a year and a half? That's right. Okay, that's good. And you should not do it ever again. I don't think it's for you. It's not like who you are, like you said.

I get that things happen and stuff, but the fact that you're in a relationship now, you've been through a lot of stuff with this woman. She's the mother of your child. You guys are obviously in a good place now. She's looking to open up your relationship. She's comfortable enough with you now to sort of let you, in on like her fantasies and have you included in them, right?

Instead of hiding out in the washroom at work, right? And she's going to not only be with somebody else, she wants you to be with that person. I mean, like, you're going to have it made, okay? You're going to have, like, the thing that most guys would die for. So, you know, this is something that you don't want to mess up now, okay? You guys are even as far as, like, the cheating has gone, you know, the cheating goes. And, you know, call that a day and move into this next phase, you know, with a, clean slate, right, where you guys are just going to be cool with each other, completely honest,

and do this in the right way. Because this is like, you're lucky if this works out for you. And it should work out. There's no reason why it wouldn't work out for you. The only reason why it wouldn't is if you go and fuck it up by, you know, doing what you know isn't right. It wasn't right. You knew it wasn't right. You did it a bunch of times. You haven't done it for a while. If that it comes back, just don't scratch it. Do you understand? Just just don't scratch it. And it will pass. Like just sit there in the uncomfortableness of not, and just don't do it.

And, you know, you've already gone a year and a half. I think that that's good. You know what I mean? It's not like you just did it last week. And I'm telling you, don't ever do it again. You know, you're more, you've been, you, the hardest part is like after you're doing it all the time to stop doing it, you know. But you, you've already sort of stopped.

So I think that that's really good. Don't ever get back into doing it. No, the only thing that, it makes it a little bit difficult. I don't, it's hard to explain and it may sound like a cop out, but the only thing that makes it a little bit difficult is my daughter and this other couple, like the guy that she ended up having the affair with and her, yeah, his wife,

they had a, they've had a couple kids and my daughter and his boy actually go to the same school and they're one year apart and I'm fucking terrified that they're going to get together if you know what I mean. Because you, wait, you so you don't know. for a fact, like, do you never got any kind of, is that what you're talking about? Like, are you...

Well, it's not even that. It's just the idea, like, let's just say she's going to be 12 years old this year. Let's just say in two years they're in high school now, and they happen to become a couple. My daughter and this guy's son and I have to deal with that family. You know what I mean? Like, I am completely fucking... Does he know that you know? No.

There's been many times I fantasized about how I would fuck his life up, but I've never done it. I've, yeah, that's normal. What's not normal is to actually act it out. It's normal to have those fantasies, but it's not, I don't believe in that. And I think that only comes back at you, you know? No, that was the thing. Like, when I went through the therapy, one of the things they asked me to do was to write a letter out. Like, if I was going to write a letter to give him, and I did that, and I've kept it all these years, but about a month ago, I threw it out.

I said, I think I'm past that now. That's good. But even at that, the back of my mind, I'd so fucking like to fuck his. life up. Of course. Because he had your girl. What he was doing. It was so shady of him. I mean, because it wasn't just her. I mean, you've dealt with like the feelings

about like what she did to you, but he was doing something to you too. He was your friend. Yep. No, that's it. And the thing that, well, not the only thing, but the main thing that's off me is that I think about it and like, I don't want, he has two kids now with his wife.

I don't want to fuck their life up because they have absolutely nothing to do with it. don't want my daughter to think less than her mother about it either. Right, right. We would open a massive can where I would feel better about it for about three seconds and then I feel much worse than I do now. No, I think you made all the right decisions. I mean, you know, you're a good dad because like you sort of put a lot of your feelings

aside for your daughter. And I think that that's the right thing to do when you have kids. It is about them, right? You have to put some part of yourself on the side, right? Like, I mean, and you have really thought of her over yourself a lot. by, you know, right? And I think it's still important to do that in this situation. And you're right to think that it would just open up a can of worms and it would cause big problems for everybody. And for what? You're past it. You're so past it. And I just think that's why you should still be

in a little bit of therapy because, you know, not only your little feelings left on your wife that you don't trust her, if you guys are, you still have a little distrust for her. But what happened to you with this guy and the fact that he still kind of lives in your world and something could happen, you know and if you could talk about that shit and dump it someplace once a week or once every other week. I mean, you don't need to hardcore therapy. You're pretty good to go. You know, it'll help you. Release it.

You know what I mean? Because it's just, it's there, right? It's there. It doesn't go away on its own. People think, you know, put sweeping shit under a rug. What do you think it does under the rug? It stays there. You want to get it out, you know?

And the best way to get it out is to talk about it. Really, it really does help. Yeah, one, I, I, I, see him every once in a while. I try to stay clear because if it starts, I'm not going to be able to contain my, you know, like if I start letting it out, so I try to just stay away. I run into his wife once in a while, and I kind of felt bad

because I do remember the time that there was one time where she had called me for something. My wife was gone, and we were talking, his wife and myself, we were talking, and she was sort of putting my fears to rest, because she'd sort of, I don't she had the same feelings, but she knew I had those suspicions. And we were talking about it.

And we spent a good hour and a half on the, this is while it was going on. I found out quite a bit after that. Actually, that was one time they were together in a car doing it in the parking lot. Oh, my God. But I'm like, holy fuck, you know, like just kicking the balls every time I turn. Because every time I think of something, I'm like, you know what? Why didn't I realize that?

I was so stupid back then. No, no, no. You weren't stupid. You did know. You did realize. Actually, you were smart, unfortunately, and you did know. I would have been better for you if you just never knew anything and you were oblivious. I always envy people like that,

that are with the biggest cheaters that are just totally trusting them. You know what I mean? Where you're kind of like so obvious, right? But like you did kind of know, you know, like you did. You had a lot of, you have a very big part of you that knew something was up, but you just didn't have that confirmation. Maybe you weren't ready for it. Maybe you didn't want to know for sure.

You know, there's a million sort of reasons why, but it wasn't like you were dumb. But I think that that's why, you know, so many years later, you still have those feelings and that's the stuff that you need to sort of resolve. Because I think you could get past those feelings too. I think you kind of can. Yeah. It just takes work.

It's like the last year, like I said, it started to feel a bit better. And actually I stumbled upon your podcast because I was looking, as I said, we were looking sort of to expand our relationship a little bit. I'm looking in the sexuality. And I found your podcast and I downloaded a few of the ones that sounded interesting. And I soon realized they were all interesting. so I've been listening as many as I could. There's a lot of me and every one of those podcasts, as funny as that sounds.

Like, I can pick little pieces out. And really, that's why I do my podcast, because I think that other people, I mean, imagine how many other people out there are listening and feel the same way that I don't hear from. You know what I mean? And I think it's important because I think this is like real life,

stuff that happens, right? And the stuff that people deal with and it makes people feel good to know that they're not alone and they're not terrible people. People do bad things. but most of the time people aren't bad people. It doesn't make them bad people. You know, your wife did a really bad thing, right?

But does that make her a terrible person? No, it just made her, she was young. You were the only person she fucked. You know, you could, if I was talking to her, I could be, I could understand where she's coming from. And she probably would feel really bad of what she did, but she did it. But, you know, that's life, right? No one's here to be perfect.

That's not what it's about. No, that's it's the way I look at it. But you have to look at it that way with the guy, too. You know what I mean? You have to start sort of doing that as well, because that'll only help you. It doesn't mean you have to like him or ever be friends with him. You know what I mean? No, that's it.

It sounds stupid, but I almost have more hate for that guy than I do her because in my mind, he took advantage of somebody that was vulnerable who knew. And she told me, maybe she's full of shit, but she said, well, he treated me like shit. I didn't really enjoy it, but there was just something I couldn't resist. And I said, okay, it doesn't make a lot of sense in my head because, like, if someone treats me like shit, I don't want anything to do with them. Yeah, but girls are different. We have bad fathers and then we like to be treated like shit.

I mean, you know, that's just the way that it happens. You know what I mean? I've not gone along. I've read a few books. Yeah. That's one of those things that I said, okay. I don't understand it, but I guess that's the way it is. Yeah.

Yeah, it's fucked up. But like, you know, listen, I mean, if you sat down and we had him on this call and we heard his side of things, maybe you would feel different too. I mean, you can't sort of sit there and have him be the only bad person in the scenario. If you're able to look at your wife and sort of understand it, if you're able to look at yourself and your own sort of bad doings, what you've done that has been pretty bad, right, and cheating on your wife with the escorts.

You're going to have to figure out a way to sort of look at him and be like, you know, maybe somewhat understanding. Like I said, you don't have to like forget about it. You don't have to become best friends with him, you know. Maybe he's a douchebag, you know, but then you've got to feel sorry for him because, you know, douchebags aren't really happy people, I don't think, you know? so you just got to come to some place where that is kind of put to rest, I think. That'll be better for you.

Yep. No, that's it. Like I said, I don't usually judge people. And even with everything that's happened, I try not to judge people. Yeah. I said it took me more time than I would have liked to, but I'm trying to like, okay, I, maybe he was unhappy. She was maybe, I don't remember anything sticking out in my mind.

But at the same time, I'm not going to. Listen, you know. what that draw, you know what that horny kind of pull is, right? Maybe he had that for your wife and he knew it was wrong, but he couldn't do it. You understand that. You know what I mean? So you got to like, that's why I think just a little bit of stuff will help you because there's no reason at this point so many years later for you to even waste a half hour feeling angry or really mad at somebody. You know, that kind of stuff doesn't feel good, right? And, you know, and I think that if you work little bit more in therapy, you could release that too and get on with your life because I think

things are going in a really good direction with your wife. I can't wait for that next, like I said, the fourth part of this story, because I'm going to wrap it up now. We're at hour. I can't wait to hear that stuff, but I think you want to go into that next chapter with a little bit. I just want you to clean out the rest of the little stuff that's left from that whole big scenario in your life. And I think you might have to come to a little bit of terms with like what you did too and you know sort of face that forgive yourself talk about that with somebody else as well not your wife does not your wife it's somebody else do you know what I'm saying yep the only funny thing I'd like to leave you with yeah is about a month and a half to say two and a half months ago yeah

like I said we were talking about maybe he's trying to meet another couple so we put an ad on Craigslist just to see yeah and not much happened and all of a sudden we got a email from somebody and I started to read through it and it sort of I don't know if you've ever chatted, talk, text, or whatever with people and you sort of get a handle on how they speak and how they write. I started to see it started to seem familiar

and they were telling me that they were a couple. They had met other couples and the guy was writing to me and said he was by asking if I was by and they would really like to meet up and they sent a picture and when I scrolled down to the picture, it was my wife's sister and her husband.

Oh my God. That's the best story I remember. Wait, are you serious? Your wife's sister? So what I did was I did. Oh my God, I waited at her husband and he said he's by. Oh, my God. They about a week after that moved out west.

So I kept it on the down low and I knew exactly where they moved. So I noticed on Craigslist another ad sort of similar to what I had placed and I contacted them with my fake email. I got the exact same response, so I finally showed my wife, I said, you've got to see this. She felt actually better after her because she's like, you know what? I'm not the only one that thinks that way. Yeah, exactly. And she knows now her sister's got a freak flag too and her husband and they're into that stuff.

It was just, I'm telling you, though, when I scrolled and I saw the picture, it just about floored me. And my wife, too, she's like, no fucking way. That, first of all, is the greatest story ever. If anyone takes anything from that story, take from it, don't put your fucking face. in your pictures, okay, when you send it, please. I mean, what were they thinking? That's like the dumbest thing. I mean, come on.

But that is hilarious. And it was also the idea. Did you ever have an idea that that guy was? No, not even 1%, not nothing. And like, I thought, I always try to keep an open mind too. Like, well, maybe they were hacked and someone stole a picture, but he actually sent his phone number. I'm like, well, it's not fucking too hard to figure out.

And it was his phone number. It was his phone number and it was actually the number they had before they moved out west and is like, well, obviously you're not hiding it too much. And that was my first thought too. Like, buddy, you got to be a little bit careful on who you're telling and who you're showing on your first email. Yeah. Oh my God. Especially because he was like doing it in his town like where he lives. Like right? I mean, so look at him. He threw it in and he hit his sister's way. I mean, like the odds are like pretty high that you're going to send your pictures to somebody that you know. And look at who it was to. I mean, that is. I mean, that is. You know. I mean, that is. is but you know what that was the funny thing after i told my wife we talked about and she says you know what if the picture wasn't sent there was a chance we could have met up yeah my god she's right she's right that was for me i'm like what oh yeah i never thought of that right if they didn't put the pictures of the face then you'd actually go and then you see this is why i think you should like when you do that like you go into other towns or something that's so close i mean you don't know but that is great that is so funny i wonder if anybody else that's happened to them i'm sure it has

Right? I mean, but like, I'd have to imagine, yeah. Yeah, but the fact that it was like the specifics of this actual scenario is so great. The fact that it was like not only someone that you knew was like your wife's sister and the fact that the guy was copying being by. Like I mean, like that's too much information. Too much. But at the same time, you know, like I said, I'm not judgmental. So I'm like, whatever's good. And I haven't told anybody except for her.

My wife knows. And now your wife knows that they're fun, just like she's fun and you guys are all going to have fun. And I can't wait to hear about your. That was a great story, by the way, to end with. That was funny. And you could have started with that one. That was good, too. But I loved your long story about where you're going.

And to me, it was like reading a good book. It had those three different scenarios. And now I can't wait to hear the next thing that happened. So let's keep me posted when you and your wife, you know, do, but you make some rules of regulations and then call me back with, you know, and we'll talk about what those were and how it all went down and what happened. Okay. All right.

good luck. And keep your, could you just go find another therapist and can you just get in it? I will. Okay. All right. Good luck with everything. Thanks for calling in. Bye.

Thank you. Bye. Bye. Okay. I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly anonymous confession, secret sex lives of total strangers is now available, not only in paperback and ebook, but you can pre-order the audio book. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can.

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coming out August 25th, but you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint, okay? There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me. Okay, I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other, and that's what you get to do there. You could post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total strictly anonymous community and you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord. It's private, like I said. All you got to do is email me a screenshot

of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook or the paperback. Send it to me at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. That's strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. and I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in. This is the Strictly Anonymous podcast. Do you have a story, lifestyle, or situation you can't talk about to anyone, to anyone? Or do you just want to let your freak flag fly and be on the show? Well, Strictly Anonymous wants to hear from you.

Send us an email, Strictly Anonymous Podcast, at gmail.com with your story and your anonymous name and remember everything is strictly anonymous anonymous strictly anonymous