Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 224 - Bisexual Lucy had a Polyamorous Relationship with a Transgender Female

Episode Date: March 26, 2018

From being polyamorous, to dating a transgender female for many years, to frequenting swingers clubs, bisexual Lucy is into it all and she calls in to give details. When did she first realize she was bisexual? How did her polyamorous relationship work out and how long did it last? When did she start going to swing clubs? Tune in to find out plus hear all about her fascination with giving blowjobs, gangbangs and a whole lot more. **To see anonymous pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You're listening to Strictly Anonymous on the Riotcast network, riotcast.com. Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. Craigslist is definitely the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Singapore or Thailand. You can't not do it.

The temptation is just too much. Does your friend know that you're banging her? No, he has no idea. And anything goes. The motto of the show, let your freak flag fly. Probably the only good advice I'll ever give you is to re-hide your whips and change. Here is your host, Kathy. Hey, welcome to Strictly Anonymous Podcast with Kathy.

If you want to follow Strict Anonymous podcast on Twitter, follow the show at Strict Anonymous or me at Cartoon Therapy. You could go to my website. On my website, you can listen to my episodes, strictly anonymouspodcast.com. You can be on my show. You can email me to be on my show. Click on Be on the Show. You can buy my book that I wrote. It's like a cartoon book about all of my bad relationships.

It's kind of funny. There's a lot of SCX in it. And it's an easy read. It's like little chapters here and there. You can just read them. You don't have to read the whole book. And it's like a good coffee table book. So you could get that on my website too.

Strictly anonymous podcast.com. Click on buy the book. If you want to be on my show, like I said, you could go there too. Or email me directly at Stricklandonymouspodcast. Atchum.com. This is a call and advice show where I talk to people anonymously. I don't know who they are. you're never going to know who they are, but you're going to know everything else about them.

You just won't know their name and where they live and who cares, right? Because it's more like the details about what the fuck they're doing behind everyone's back. That's more interesting. And sometimes it's people that are doing things in front of everybody's back. Like it's not like behind everyone's back. It's not always secrets. It became that because I always got my callers from Craigslist. Even though I just wanted to call in a vice show and I just wanted to help people with their problems.

The Craigslist happened by accident. And now Craigslist is done. They close like the personal ads. So I need people to write in and be on my show now more than ever. I mean, good news is I have people always writing me in now listeners. So I don't really use Craigslist and haven't for a while, but that's where I used to get my color. So bye-bye, Craigslist.

Sad to see you go. It was a place, like I said, where I got all my people. But email me at strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com if you want to be on my show. It doesn't have to be like a naughty secret or a sex-filled life. It could also be just like a regular problem that you have that you want advice for because I love picking apart stuff, analyzing and helping people with their problems. So, Samin email,

at Chikliama's podcast at gmail.com, if you want to be on my show. Today I have on Lucy, who emailed me all the way from Australia, and she was like, I totally relate to one of the guys you had on the show. It was the recent guy who loved to suck dick, and she was like, I like to suck dick too.

And I thought, a person that I was a guy. But it turns out, no, it's a chick who likes dicks. Maybe that's going to be the title. I haven't even titled it yet. But Lucy, not only does she like to give head, she goes to Swingers party, she's polyamorous, she had a very long-term relationship with a trans girl who used to be a guy, who's kind of like a guy and a girl, and then she has other relationships. You got to like follow this one because there's a lot of like moving parts, right? Because she's pretty open, well, very open and very experienced in what she's

done and what she's into. I'm not going to get any more detail than that. You'll have to listen to the episode. So I'm going to be right back on with Lucy. Do you have a story, lifestyle, or situation you can't talk about to anyone, to anyone? Or do you just want to let your freak flag fly and be on the show? Well, Strictly Anonymous wants to hear from you. Send us an email, Strictly Anonymous podcast at gmail.com, with your story and your anonymous name. And remember, everything is strictly anonymous. Strictly Anonymous

Hey Lucy, welcome to strictly anonymous podcast. You're on Kathy, how are you doing today in Australia? Or tonight, maybe it's nighttime for you. What time is it over there? It is night time. It's like 1 a.m. Oh, okay, cool. So that's not so bad.

Like you're still up, right? I don't know how old you are, but like... Yeah. Before I had kids, I was up at one. Yeah, yeah, cool. Yeah, I'm a nice hour. Okay. You're also like a very interesting gal that does a lot of interesting things.

The weird thing was, is like, you wrote me an email, right, after my last podcast that I posted, which was the guy that loved sucking dicks, right? Like, what was his name? Brad, right? And you were, like, wrote in, and before I even knew whether you're male or female, you're like, I just really just heard your Brad podcast, and I relate to him so much. And I'm just thinking the whole time while I'm reading that this is like a guy, right? But it would turn out that you're a girl, right? And you love sucking dicks, too. And then you went into some, you know, stories about stuff that you've done recently. So why don't you just start telling me stuff about, you and like how come like I mean did you always love sucking dicks is this a new thing how old

are you I don't know where to begin okay I'm 38 okay I am a woman in Australia I I haven't always love sucking cock but um yeah I've sort of I've I've I've gained a taste for it so to speak Well, you did say, and let me ask you this because you're 38, right? It's not like you're 22 and you're like you're starting like, you know, sort of living out your sexuality a certain way, right? You did say that recently you had a relationship for like a year where the guy was like super judgmental about how like you were sexually speaking like maybe you were more into stuff than he was and he made you feel really bad about it and now you're coming back into your own.

Now before that relationship and right when you first started to have sex when you were younger, Were you always so, quote unquote, promiscuous or open-minded or, like, adventurous when it came to sex? No. So what was your deal before? And how did it change? Okay. So everything was more or less very monogamous, everything in relationships. I actually went through a period where sex was really painful.

Really? Yeah, during one relationship, and I actually found my way out of that through BDSM. Oh, really? Through making it even more painful and making that like a pleasurable thing. Is that what you mean? Yeah, yeah. It was like my partner at the time, he just casually slapped me in the ass. And he just did this, like, you know, just randomly.

And I felt like it relocated the pain elsewhere. Like, I couldn't be fingered. I couldn't do anything. It was just, I'd try because, you know, I wanted to look after my partner. Right, you wanted to be a good lover. You gave it the old college try. Yeah, I wanted to be a good lover. So, you know, I want to try, but, yeah, it was so painful.

But through exploring more BDSM, I was. able to get past this and yeah basically sex became more pleasurable and became very pleasurable. That's so interesting. So even the stuff that you found to be, because the BDSM wasn't about fingering you really hard, it was about sort of creating pain elsewhere. But then it actually took away the pain of all that other stuff as well and you were able to enjoy the stuff that you weren't able to enjoy before. Mm-hmm. That's interesting. Yep. That's an interesting thing. I wonder like what the psychology is behind that, but there's probably something to it. Yes.

Don't you think it? Well, you know what they say? There's a fine line between pleasure and pain, so. Right, but you found, if you found it painful, like for certain things, and the pain wasn't pleasurable, right, to you at all, I guess maybe then once you were able to rewire that plain pressure thing, maybe then the other stuff that was painful was pleasurable. That kind of makes sense, right? Yeah.

Yeah, I think it was sort of a rewiring. And, yeah, it really helped. It really helped in a number of ways that, like, that, actually, that relationship ended up being emotionally abusive. Right, as well. And I got out of that. But it helped you in that aspect, right? Yeah, yeah. I felt like exploring these things and learning about, like, learning about,

feminism at uni and combining, like, sex positive feminism, that that sort of made me sort of stand up and say, no, you're not treating me right, and therefore I'm going to leave. It wasn't, it wasn't easy. And it was so hard. And you must have breaking a pattern for yourself, right? Because typically these things are just come out of nowhere, right? Yeah. It's like normally they're patterns and they keep showing up in your life until you're like, I've had enough, right? And then you just that's enough and then you move on to a next phase and you're not dealing with that shit anymore. I mean,

you can get to that place, right? It takes a while. But that happened for you. Yeah, that was like a big turning point for you. Yeah, yeah. So it was,

it was, yeah, going through all that, it was really difficult. Uh-huh. And I, part of, and also part of that breakup was,

um, finding out that I was polyamorous as well. Like, well, finding out about polyamory and realizing that there were things that were happening that I didn't have a name for. Like what? Yeah.

Like I would feel like I would get into know someone and I would start having feelings for them. I would start feeling sort of love for them. It would be like this little spark, this little thing that wouldn't, you know, like I didn't want to take it any further because there was monogamous, I was faithful. I didn't want to do the wrong thing by my heart. So you're saying you would be starting to have these sparks for other people while you were with somebody else. Yes.

Uh-huh. Yes. And was it men and women or just men or what was your deal? Oh, it was men and women. Right. Okay. So you'd start to feel these sparks and you had never acted on them before. But then how did you figure out that, oh, let me go down that path and that's what this is and I'm going to go by and polyamorous or whatever? Yeah, well, I don't, previously.

to this, I'd been exploring the fact that I was bisexual. But I had a bi-experience when I was 17. Right. It was, this is, this is, this is the strange thing about my life. It's sort of, like, it started out very, you know,

it's very sort of typical. Then at 17, I have this one experience where I have a threesome, a one-night- stand and my first girl experience in one night. You're kidding. So was it all within, like the one night stand was with the girl, the threesome was with the girl and the lesbian, like the bi experience was with the girl. So it was like one experience, but it was all those things in one, right?

Okay. It was all those things. My best friend, I went over to see my best friend and she, she basically was missing her fuck buddy at the time. I think she was a bit in love with him. And she was wanting to be with him. Yeah. But she wanted to hang out with me because we hadn't hung out for a while. Right. And, you know, because we just got out of high school. Yeah. You're 17. I was continuing on with high school and she wasn't. So, yeah, she wanted to be with her her fuck buddy, but, you know, wanted to hang out with me.

And she was like, well, how about we have a threesome? She said that to you? Yeah, yeah. So we called him up and she said, oh, you know, look, you know, do you want to play with me as well? And I was like, oh, I don't know kind of thing. Because I was a good Christian girl at that point as well. So, yeah, so it ended up, yeah. we called it up and he came over and we had a threesome and I felt really conflicted about all this

later on and um you mean like a right after it happened but did you enjoy it while it was happening I I did enjoy it I did enjoy it quite a bit and that was really weird for me because yeah I was raised a Catholic and all that stuff was taboo right right of course so much of what you did that night was not really good according to the Catholic. Oh, yeah. You weren't married. You're with, you know, someone of the same sex. Oh, so many things.

Right, but it was hot when it happened and then afterwards, like you sort of regarded it. What was the, when did you come? Not regret it, but just. I didn't. Yeah, I was sort of like, I felt uncomfortable about it, but I didn't regret it. It wasn't that strong. It was like, oh, my God, what have I done? Right, right.

It was more like, ah, okay, there's things I need to think about and process here. Right. And I ended up thinking about this and thinking about, you know, basically my attraction to women, which was very deeply buried up until this point. And I questioned myself for a number of years. And then I was like, no, I'm by. I started coming out to friends. And then I came out to my mom, and it took me about five years to do that.

Right. Well, that's pretty big. I mean, you know, to tell your mother that, I mean, some people maybe would never tell their parents, something like that. Because like you're gay and you're going to be bringing home a girl. You know, it's more like just what you're into sexually. So sometimes it's like, why do your parents even need to know? Like, yeah, my mom and dad don't need to know about my sex life. I don't want to know about this.

But you told them, though. But you did tell them, though. But you did sort of tell them, like, I'm by. Is that what you say when you said coming out? Well, I told my mom because, like, my mom and I have a close relationship. And what I do with my dad, like, my dad and I have never really sat down talked about sex. Right. You know.

But you and your mom have, because you're close. Yeah, that's cool. Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah. So you felt close enough to tell her. How did she take it? Um, well, she took it better than I thought.

Uh, because I was tossing and turning. Um, because she, she, um, not long enough after I had this threesome girl and girl one-night stand experience, um, I, I knew my mom's views on, And mum's views were very Catholic about, you know, about sexuality, right? Yeah. She, there was something on TV. There was something about gay and lesbian people, maybe the Mardi Gras in Sydney, I don't know. And she was like, she said something sort of kind of disparaging.

And I said, look, Mom, what would you do if, you know, one of us, girls, I've got two other sisters, Yeah. Came home and said we're by or gay. And she just shot back with, I did not raise you that way. Right. I was like, oh. So of course you would think after that that she wouldn't, you know, not take it so well. Yeah.

So here I am for five years thinking she's going to disown me. She's never going to talk to me again. I'm going to be out of the family, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. And this was just devastating to me. But then after a while, I was like, well, I wouldn't pull. up with this from anyone else? Why would I put up with this

with, you know, family? And I mean, I get, you know, there's the family bond and it's, you know, the blood. But you had already come out to all your friends too. It wasn't like this was a secret you were keeping. Like, once you figured out you were by, you let people know. Right.

Yeah, that was difficult in itself because I didn't want to sort of alienate any female friends that I had. You know, I didn't want them to feel like I was, you know, perving on them like that. No, but it's cool that you were, no, but it's cool that at such a young age,

you, you know, you really felt the desire to, you know, be sort of who you were, like your desire to be who you were was stronger than your desire for everyone to sort of like you and accept you. Because I think that's the difference between most people's.

Most people are so afraid of people not liking them that they keep a lot of things to themselves. Do you know what I mean? For you, it's like, yeah, maybe people are going to freak out about it, but you being who, who you were was more important than that, right? Mm-hmm, yep.

Obviously, or else you'd never risk it, you know? Yeah, exactly. She's right. Yeah, so I came out to mom and I said, you know, I said in the car, I've got something to tell you, but I'll wait until you finish driving. Yeah. To tell you, kind of thing. And, you know, he stopped in the car park and everything,

and I said, you know, I'm bisexual, this is who I am. I don't know how you feel about this, but I need to tell you. Because I didn't want her to find out from someone else. Yeah. I think that was the other thing. And she said to me, like, at the time I was with a male partner. And she said, no matter what, you're my child, and I love you, no matter what, You know, you're with a partner at the time that, I think that did help things along a bit,

but I was with a male partner. Yeah, yeah. But she did say at the time that she would be uncomfortable with me holding hands in her house with another woman. Right, but you could eat snatch behind closed doors. she doesn't care, but that's such a generation thing, you know what I mean? But like, God forbid you hold hands in public. Like, go down on her all you want if no one's looking. But in public, don't you dare hold her hand.

So funny, right? Well, you know, like after many years and everything, like I ended up with a transgender partner. Uh-huh. And I was with her for many years. and my sister got married and I was able to bring her along to the wedding and mom and dad accepted her. Yeah, that's cool.

Yeah, actually, like my sister that was having the wedding was like, I'm fine with your partner, but my family to be, I'm worried about how the guests might take it. We had a big fight over that. It was huge. But, you know, we got around. I mean, how many years ago was that whole thing?

Like, how many years ago was that wedding? In 2012? Right. So that's not like, I mean, now, right now, I think so many more things are being accepted and they're out in the public and the transgender thing is going on. And it's, like, really great for that community, right? And I think it's a lot easier for people to have those conversations now because of mainstream media is really taking on all that stuff and people are more accepting of it.

But like this was five years ago, right, where I think that wasn't talked about that much. So that was pretty huge that you did that, that they accepted it. I think for a while that, like, because after I came out as buy, I will say, you know, and not long after that, I came out as by to mom. I was by for many years, but then I came out as by to mom. And then I found out about polyamory. and that's when you start to have those twinges right you said you start to feel like you were to have feelings for other people and then eventually you realize oh this means that I'm like there's a name

for this and it's polyamorous and that's what I am and then I did research and this and was like oh it was like coming home right and but I was with a partner that was well a emotionally abusive and was very much monogamous and very possessive so that's what you ended that's not a relationship, right, where everything sort of changed for you. It was like very pivotal, right? That's when you realized all that stuff. And then you broke up with him and then did you start living out, you know, is that when you dated the transgender?

Did you start to have polyamorous relationships? I was in love with her and I was in love with him, even though he was an absolute bastard. Right. So when you broke up with that guy, right, and you ended that, did you, is that when you started dating the transgender girl? Yeah, yeah. And how long did that relate? And then did you and the transgender?

gender girl have a polyamorous relationship? Yes, we did, we did. How many other lover? And was your other lover, a girl, or a guy? Like, how did it all play out? Oh, I had had various partners across the years. Like, this partner, my trans partner and I worked together for 11 years. Right.

So you had a lot of other people during that time? Yeah, one was a guy. there was a woman for a couple of months. I don't know if she really, I should mean she does count, but you know. Right, right, right. In the scheme of things, relationship-wise, so it was very short. How long was the guy relationship, the other guy? Okay, so one was for one year.

I've actually had mostly disgendered male partners other than my trans partner. Right. This is where it gets complicated because I can't really use the name. No, don't worry about it. It doesn't matter about the names. What I'm more interested in is like, how does it work, right? So you're with a transgender girl. Now, the transgender girl was born a guy, right, and changed to a girl.

Did she have like the full-on operation and everything? So she was a girl or what? More both. Like, felt both male and female, but more female than male. Well, what was she born? Well, she was born with a penis Okay, right. So she was born, right, but she had a very female vibe.

Like she felt like she was a female as well, right? So then did she get the penis taken off? Like, is that what it means to be? Or was that still apart? No, no, no, no. That was still there. But she did take hormones to grow boobs. Okay, so she had a dick and she had tits.

Yeah. Okay. And so now when you bring these other guys into the relationship, are you both having a relationship with the guy? or were you just having a relationship with a guy? How did it work? It was mostly, I mean, it mostly worked out that I would see other people by myself, basically. Right.

If, you know, I'm sure if it came up, like, you talk to many polyamorous people, it's very uncommon for someone to just fall in love with both people and then end up moving in together. That's uncommon. thing. It's very uncomfortable. Oh, for it to work out, you mean? That way. Yeah, well, even for it to occur in the first place. Uh-huh.

Yeah. It's like hunting unicorns. People that couples that go into polyamory sometimes, when they start out, like, they want to go in safe. they want to go in and fall in love with a person and want that person to love them both equally and, you know, be into each other equally and attracted to each other. Yeah, I had a couple on a long time ago that were looking for that. I wish you, maybe you need to have an intervention with them because they were looking for the unicorn, I guess, and it wasn't not possible. And usually the unicorn is a hot by babe, so a hot by a woman in which they, like, often

there's this expectation of this woman is going to come in, she will love both of us, she will move in with us, and she will, you know, fulfill our poly needs. Yeah. And she doesn't need anyone else. Right. Like, she doesn't need to see anyone else. Right, because she's got the girl, she's got the guy, she's got both of us. Oh, she's got a guy.

You know, what else are you on? No, she's a person with her own, you know, her own agency. and her own, you know, needs and desires and life and possibly a place that she loves living in. Mm-hmm. I think so often, you know, these things don't even, like, to find a woman that is, or, well, even a guy, that is willing to go into that kind of situation and have it all work out. Well, yeah, it's really rare to find the first place. even more rare to have it work out.

So you didn't go in with... Cool, you know. But wait, so you knew this kind of intuitively or some way, right? So you didn't go into sort of opening up your relationship with those kind of expectations, I'm assuming. It was more like a free, it was more open

and free, like you could, if you fell in love or felt that spark that you knew that you could sometimes have for other people, you could go pursue that relationship and your girl was okay with it. My partner. My trans partner was very, um, was enthusiastic about it. Like, um, like, um, like, it, I never felt like always tied down in that situation.

I never felt like I had, like, it's, it's hard to explain it. So, like, he was very, um. She wasn't possessive and she wasn't jealous, obviously. She was, she didn't feel like, she didn't claim any. kind of ownership over you. I mean, yeah. Of course she felt, you know, jealousy and envy, that comes up, you know, that's human nature. Yeah.

Right. Does she have, let me ask you this. Does she have other relationships with other people, too? Yeah, she, oh, well, she did. She does. Right. And she has. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. She did and she does, and she still does. You're still with her? No. No, we broke up. Okay, you broke up, but you were together with her for 11 years. And she had relationships. We were together for 11 years.

And she's still continuing to be polyamorous, of course. So the polyamorous relationship was good for a lot of reasons. It was good, but, you know, there were problems. There were problems. My partner really was attracted to dramatic. Other partners were dramatic, I think. Yeah. I don't know how to describe it, but, I mean, they were nice enough women.

You know, one of them was my friends that I sort of encouraged my partner to hang out with. And, you know, yeah, so I encouraged them to hang out, and, you know, they liked each other, and they fell in love and all this kind of thing. And that was great. But she's very dramatic, you know. But your girl had like a thing for that. She liked it. I'm sorry?

Your girl had a thing for that. She kind of liked a little drama. I mean, I know some guys. I know guys and girls that both sometimes have that sort of thing in them, right? They like crazy people. Yeah, and I couldn't deal with it. Like, the partner before that, they worked together for about 10 years. Uh-huh.

Yeah. And they broke up eight times. like major breakups eight times in 10 years and I don't think that's not that bad that's not even once a year once every year in three months

they would have like a really harsh breakup and then get back yeah you really must not tolerate drama at all because that's not even that bad I know people that have drama every other day it was really full I mean there was

but there were other things as well there were other dramas but yeah there were breakups regularly Right. And I couldn't, I couldn't handle it. Right, but you stay, I mean, to me, the 10-year relationship is a pretty successful run for things, you know, considering. I mean, no relationship's perfect.

Yeah, with some good friends. Yeah, but I'm saying, how do you go from that to dating a guy that's like, you know, not so, like, not good at all? You had this one-year relationship, got out of it. And now you're like, you're like you said, you came into your own or whatever, and you're really like sort of having fun by yourself. Yeah, well, I've gone through it. I've gone through a bit of a weird phase.

And I've had like my other relationships. Like I had a relationship that was eight years, six years, and then this guy that you're, that I referred to in the for a year, right? Um, yeah, all of these things have broken up and, yeah, it's, it's like I've gone through and I'm sort of redefining like what's okay for me. Right. Well, I mean, I think that's why relationships come into your life to sort of teach you things and show you things about yourself and maybe work through things about yourself.

So you're probably like really in tune with that. So each time you leave a relationship, you figure something out or realize something about yourself and then move on, right? I don't know. That's how my life has been for sure. Yeah, definitely. Definitely. And you grow and learn from things and then you move on.

And then you're like, oh, and it helps you to realize what you want, what you don't want. I think, you know, that's the better way to look at relationships than to look at relationships like, oh, you were wrong. I was right or that person was terrible and I was a victim, you know, kind of thing. Because I think these people come into your life, good or bad people come into your life. to help you at the end of the day, right? Learn about yourself. And even if it's bad things about yourself, if they're in there and, you know,

someone's pushing those buttons or they're not creating something that's not there. It's just they're just showing you something that you already had inside of you, right? So. And I want to break that pattern. Like I don't, I want to be better. You know, at this point of time, I just want to be single and have fun and, you know, have sort of like,

I mean, if a relationship happens, then that's good. But I'm not, I'm not seeking it kind of thing. Well, you have, listen, you've had a lot of relationships. And it's, it's kind of confusing because you have relationships during the same time. So you're only 38, but you could have a six year and eight year, a 10 year, and 11 year all in the same time because they're happening and they're overlapping. But so now you're at a point, right, where you are single. You told me, the one experience you told me where you, like, sucked 15 guys.

they were fucking you, you were squirting. Like you were like, like it was at a sex party or a sex place, right? A sex club, right? Recently. So I'm assuming that that's like the phase that you're in now, right? And that's probably what people really want to hear about that kind of stuff. I like all the back story.

Going to swing party. You've been going to swing parties for a long time? Since I was 27. Okay. So I found out I was so polyamorous around 25. And then around 27, nostalgic getting into. to the swing scene.

And I found that I really enjoyed it. Right. I like fucking a lot of guys. I like sucking a lot of guys. I like, yeah, it's like a sort of arranged my own own impromptu gang bang. Right. And now your girl, when you're with a trans person, would she go with you? Or would you go by yourself?

Did you do that through all your relationships, I'm assuming? Well, this is the interesting. thing. My trans partner suffered chronic illnesses, so wasn't able to go out and do things

and sometimes wasn't able to sort of, you know, have sex as much as I would need or as much as she would want, actually. It's like the spirit was willing, but the flesh was wicked kind of thing.

So, yeah, like, yeah, so it was, was good for me to go out and get that need met somewhere else as well. Right. And the trans partner was okay with that. Another long-term relationship kind of thing. Yeah, so that was good. But yeah, I am. So you've always been doing these sort of, it's not like a new thing, this whole thing of you going and realizing that you're so into sucking dick and you can relate to Brad.

Like, this is something that once you got into, like, swinging and stuff or going to these parties that you realized that was something that you liked, and that was a need of yours. Yeah, yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, exactly. So, yeah, like, like, yeah, last Thursday, I went to a sex party, and, yeah, there was a big bed. There were guys coming in and out, and basically I discounted each one, basically.

Right. But yeah, many of them weren't, like, it was sort of a queer friendly night. So there were a lot of, there were a lot of guys, and it's based on a gay sauna. So, but they, well, like, on certain nights, they welcome everyone. So, you know, so I was more or less, like, there was maybe one or two women at the club. but yeah like I basically just went into a room

and just took on whoever kind of thing Right and some guys spoke to you, some guys blew you Are these guys most of them gay because it is a gay sauna Or there are a lot of straight guys there too? I think Well it was a queer night So I think it was a bit of both

Right So it would have been like gay guys by guys mostly gay and bi guys Right, totally Because you did have sex Right, so those guys Would have to be more The by guys are there, right?

And they're, Yeah You're blowing them, you're having sex with them You did 15 guys that night, right? Yep, And then last Monday night, I did

Nine guys and one woman. Right. And now, what do you do to the woman? Just go down on her? Like, I mean, when you say you did, like you just pulled her out, right?

Just go, I went down. down on her, I fingered her, I made her happy. Right. You know. Right. Now let me ask you this, because you're counting the people, right? Is that whole, is like the thought of like, oh, I did like all these people, like the numbers and having a lot of people sort of servicing them or, you know, having sex with them.

Is that like a part of the turn on? Like the more, the better? Oh, yeah, yeah. Definitely. Yeah, definitely. It's part of, it's part of the turn on. But it's also good for like, um, it's good for. working out for when I go for regular sexual tests, because I'll ask you, like, you know,

how many men have you slept with in the last year or in the last three months? And I'd like to have an accurate idea of what that is. Right. Not right down to the, you know, okay, yeah, it was, you know, this many exactly. But if I, I can remember, like, you know, like, 15 is actually. my record. Yeah, I was going to ask you what's the most at one night. Fifteen. 15 was and still is my record.

I came so close to breaking that the other night, but no. Um, yeah. Let me ask you. You said you were, so you could, it was so, such a turn on that you, like,

were squirting and you did and it was just like all over you. Like, were you, like, were you squirting through them penetrated? you? Were you just playing with yourself while you were doing that? Or did you squirt without anything happening? Like, how did that happen? Mostly through blow jobs, which is... So you're blowing a guy, right? And nothing is touching you at all. And you could squirt with just the thought of, like, what's going on, right? Is that what you're saying? Yeah, that's incredible. Like, who has that power? I think there was a girl on ones before, and I think I said, like, oh my God, if I like, and she just was like, I just love giving head.

Like I could have an orgasm, like she would have an orgasm through giving her. I was like, if I could have an orgasm through just giving head, I'd be doing that a lot too. Like it's like crazy. You're the second woman. I mean, it doesn't happen every time. But yeah, I was feeling it that night. And actually, it was a lot of squirting. It was like there's the bed that I was on is like a leather bench kind of thing.

Uh-huh. I could feel the wetness running down my bed. back as I was lying down. Right. I was like, right. Oh my God. And that must have been turn on too. Right.

Oh my God it was. Yes. Mm-hmm. Just sort of feeling how turn on you are physically. And so you could actually get off on it. And you have all these people watching you and, you know, and there's people that come up and touch you and, you know, and people fuck and so on, so forth. Yeah.

So it's all. It was all. Yeah, amazing. Right. Now, let me ask you this. Do you keep that, like, that does your, do you tell your mom that you go to a swing club? Or do you keep that kind of stuff, like, quiet or is you just, like, super open about everything? This is what I was saying before.

Like, I don't go into detail. Yeah. But, yeah, my, like, after I came out of spy, and eventually, like, not long after that, I sort of went, okay. You know, I told her about my trans partner and being Polly. And then, you know, I told her about the BDSM thing. She wasn't crazy about that. But, you know, she knows that I go to swing parties. I don't, you know, mention it all the time to her, but she knows that I do.

Uh-huh, uh-huh. And I think for a while there, she just went, I think she was just thinking, oh, this is all just a phase. you know, she's just going through a phase and she's trying to shock me. If I don't act shocked, then, you know, this phase will end and she'll just settle down and she'll be a good Catholic girl married, monogamous, having kids. Right, but that's not going to happen. I mean, right? I mean, who knows, though? Like, you know what the weird thing is? I don't know about you, but like, do you feel like maybe, like, maybe, like, Like, because you're just always growing and you're always changing, right? And you're always sort of figuring out different things. Like, how do you know that one day you might decide?

You know what I want to be a monogamous per? Like, you don't know for a couple of years, right? I mean, like. Look, I don't know. I mean, anything is possible. Anything's possible. But, you know, like, I know that I'm by and that's not going to change. And I'm like 99% certain that, you know,

I'm polyamorous and that's not going to change and they're them slutty and it's not going to change either. And what is slutty mean that you're like really into sex and you need a lot of sex is like, right? Is that what you mean by slutty? That like you're very high sex drive, right? Yeah. Well, yeah. I mean, I like doing, I like I like doing what I want to do basically.

So, you know, I want to go like I don't always want to go to a sex party, right? Right. And sometimes I don't really feel that sexual. There's been like periods where I've not felt so sexual. Okay. You know. But I like to have that option there and have the freedom to do so. And whoever I'm with needs to understand that.

And I think that was the mistake that I made with this guy that I was with for a year. And, well, the fact that I got out of it after a year, well, you know, I mean, he, until we had this really stupid argument that ended everything, he seemed to be, well, really good. I mean, and we had a negotiation. Like, he and I were at a point where we had a connection with each other, and we wanted to explore that connection, have fun with it, and, you know, be with each other, right? But we knew that there was like a, like a limitation to it,

like a, there was a time limit on it. Uh-huh. Like, I wasn't sure what I wanted. I'm still not sure what I want, but I'm still working that out. But he, he wasn't, he sort of, he knew that like at one point he will

at some point he would go off and be monogamous and have a family and all that and I would you know like I wasn't relying on him to be you know there forever

and he also was the same way so there was like a time limit you knew that there was an ending it just a matter of when it would come yeah and I didn't think it was going to be this soon, but, you know. Right. Now, the thing that ended up being so terrible about this was, well, you know, we're having

fights and, okay, that was something. But this particular last fight after being away from him for a couple of months, and then having this come up so soon after he just got back, it was like two weeks. He came back and we're arguing about this stupid thing. And I was just like, you know what? I'm over this. No, I don't want this anymore. Let me ask a quick question.

How long after your relationship with that girl that ended? How long after did you start this relationship? Um. Was it overlapped? Was it, you know, did you... It was about a year later. A year later. I mean, maybe he was like a transitional.

You know, sometimes you have those transitional relationships. right? They're not meant to be a long time, but maybe, you know, it was like a little rebound thing or something. You know? Yeah. I mean, yeah, we're, it, it's started, I mean, it was so good in a number of ways, except for the fights. And the fights were, like, the fights felt like if, if, I don't know, it's, it's hard to say, I mean, this last fight I had with him, it was over something really stupid. But, it was fundamentally about he the thing that he was doing was taking advantage she was taking advantage of me and our relationship as it was at that point of time right um and so that the bigger picture of that is not something that you're okay with so it was like listen if you're in a relationship where you know there's going to be an ending anyway right yeah and i have been going you know actually you're doing this thing, you're taking advantage of me, you're taking advantage of our connection,

this is not on, you're cheapening what we have here. And I said to him, look, do you value our relationship, our friendship? You know, do you value me? And he just said, no. Oh, well, there you go. Right, that's a little bit of a deal breaker, right. Yeah, so, and then I found out after that, because the next day I was like, well, okay, well, then I'm moving out because we're sharing your house. And I said, look, I'm going to move out.

And I knew a friend of mine that had a room in her house, her sharehouse. And I contacted her and said, look, I'm looking to move out, is your room still available? and she said, oh no, we just took someone in. And she was like, well, why, you know, and I said, this is what's happened. And she was sort of, she was like going, look, I don't know what's going on, but, you know, like, he's actually asked me out for coffee, and I've sort of very politely said no. Right. And, yeah, and then I knew he'd asked another friend of mine out.

but I knew about her and I was okay with that because he actually said he told you I'm going to go out with her yeah that's cool uh-huh you know and I was like oh okay no worries you know and I was like I approve because well she's you know a friend and I think she's a good person but he was doing the other person on the down low really right and that was like the problem yeah so the this other woman that had the room, I didn't know. I didn't know about that. And then it ended up that as I told people, we're broken up and I'm moving out. You found more bad stuff. Female friends were going, oh, thank fuck. He's a creep. He's been coming on to me for months.

He doesn't say, he doesn't take no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he was definitely not the right person. But that doesn't matter. But that's over. How long has that been over for? I mean, like you're in a good place now right like you're having fun you know more now oh yeah well this is all very recent oh it was him in December right right that's why you're still so attached to all these things because it just happened right and it's hard listen I think it's really super hard when like you you end something with somebody and you find out there was like a lot of deception which you never knew right it's almost like a little rug is pulled out from under you right like you it's like you're who the fuck are you with yeah it was creepy he was

disrespectful. Right. You've fallen disrespectful. I got screenshots and I just went oh my fucking God. That's crazy because how would you not like it's like finding out something about that they had like a secret life. They were a different person than you sort of knew. So I think

that's always like very jarring right especially but you know in the weird way because I remember like way later in life at some point I dated someone and they wound up to be a lot worse of a person than I ever could have imagined them to be and I was like oh this is very humbling. Just when you get to a point where your life, where you think you're fucking smart and you know everything and you got your feet on the ground and you're pretty okay, someone comes in to show you, you know what?

Like you just never could put your, like, you know, you can, it doesn't mean that you know everything, right? Like it was very humbling to me and it made me realize like, don't ever sort of just think that you know it all and that you can't be fucking duped and that, you know, and it was like good to sort of know that, right? Because I think we do tend to sometimes get a little comfortable and thinking we reach the top of the mountain. And then you're like, oh, no, I still a fucking moron sometimes. And that's like being a human being, right? So you have to always be super careful. And there's nothing wrong with that. That just happens sometimes, right?

Yeah, yeah, for sure. You know, you don't know. And that's the good thing is that you didn't let, the good thing is that like you didn't let it last long because tons of people, you know, stay in bad relationships, even though they are. And I'm sure you did that when you were younger. People do that, you know. Yeah, just let it go and go.

and try and fix things. Yeah, because it's very hard to leave somebody, right? It's just the way that it goes. And so the good news is you got out of it when you did. You're living your life and you'll move on until you meet somebody else

or stay single for a while because, you know, you haven't done that for a long time. Yeah, I mean, I'm sort of dating around, but I'm sort of like, I've very specifically said, look, I'm not after anything serious right now. Right. We move into possibility.

Uh-huh. You know, we'll see what happens. And for the most part, I've been, you know, having a lot of sex, I've been having a lot of fun, I've been fucking it out, basically. Right. And there's nothing wrong with that, right?

I mean, that's like a good thing. Because it's not like that kind of stuff is like, that's empowering to you. It's not like it doesn't take away. You're not going out and sort of do. being with random people that you, like, you're not doing it in a negative way. I mean, you're always in control of this part of you,

and you have been since you're in your 20s, and I think that that's a good thing. Because sometimes it plays out negatively, right, when you don't sort of know what's going on. And, you know, I know I dealt with my sexuality in a negative way a lot and acted out when I was younger because I was like a fucking mess, right? But you're really clear about what you do and why you do it.

And so it's not like you're doing, it in a negative. It's not like an acting out. It's just about being who you are and enjoying yourself and you're dealing with, you know, that ending of that relationship, the way that you have to, you know, whatever. I'm sure, you know, getting closure on that, whatever way you have to. And this is separate. I'm just trying to wrap it up because we're at an hour. But I think that it's like, you know, it's good. Maybe you'll be alone for a while, but maybe you're a relationship person. I mean, you know, and you will wind up meeting somebody sooner than later. Yeah, I think I am overall a relationship person.

I like having relationship. Yeah. You know, this is a new thing. And like, you know, when I was younger, you know, had that typical thing of, oh, I'm nothing if I don't have a boyfriend kind of thing. That was very much a thing in my teenage years. Because I didn't really have a boyfriend during my teenage years. Right.

Funny that. Yeah, so now I'm sort of like, I'm single now. And well, yeah, everything's okay. I'm okay. Yeah, it's fine. And like, I mean, maybe a year will go by, maybe six months and you wind up. I think people tend to be like, some people tend to be like relationship people. Some people are more like, you know, I don't know.

Because you're such a relationship person, you probably will wind up meeting someone sooner rather than later. Or you'll go on to be a single person for a lot longer than you expect. I don't know. I'm curious to find out what happens, actually. the stage. It's a big crossroads that you've met me at Kathy. Yeah, yeah. You know, I love when I do, I do my end of the year episodes, right? So we're like in what, March, right? By the end of the year, we'll find out where you're at. I want to know if you're in a release where you're still single. I'm trying to think, I'm trying to feel like what I predict because sometimes I just like

really know. I think, I don't know for some reason. I think you might still be single by then and still looking around because it's not that long of a time. That's what I say logically. I don't know. we'll see. You know what I mean? We'll see. And there's nothing wrong with being single and figuring it out. But I love to be proven wrong. I don't know.

I really don't know. We'll, you know, but I look forward to finding out because you are, like you said, at a crossroads. But I think because you've been out of crossroads a lot of times in your life, right? There's not only one big crossword in life, right? There was a, you know, like I think a lot of times when certain things end and there's endings in your life, you're at another crossroad, right? Those come up all the time.

in life, right? So this is another one for you, but we'll see. You might, it might be less of a crossword and you just wind up in another relationship, right? Or it's a big crossroad and you wind up being like a single person, like I said, for longer than you expect. That would be a bigger crossroad, right? We don't know. Yeah. Well, we will see. Yeah, we will see. And I am more than happy to talk to you at the next, at the next point. Yeah. If you meet someone before that and you start with one of these relationships, like let me know and we'll do it. If not, we'll talk to you at the end of the year and see what you're up to. But good luck with everything. And thanks so much for calling in. No worries. No worries. Anyone from Australia? Yes. You know, that's awesome.

Pleasure. All right. Awesome. Thanks so much. What are we calling you Lucy. What do we call you? Yes. Oh, Lucy. Okay. Thanks, Lucy. Bye. Thank you. Bye. Bye. Do you have a story, lifestyle, or situation you can't talk about to anyone, to anyone? or do you just want to let your freak flag fly and be on the show? Well, Strictly Anonymous wants to hear from you. Send us an email, Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com, with your story and your anonymous name. And remember, everything is strictly anonymous. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers,

is now available not only in paperback and e-book, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story.

There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang-bang girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. and they're all told in the third person and they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person. And I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like Penthouse letters.

It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. 17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book.

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