Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 242 - Is Don Revenge Fucking his Hot, Young Therapist?

Episode Date: July 29, 2018

Don (episode #216) calls in again because he recently started seeing a therapist (to discuss the fact that he was revenge fucking escorts behind his wife's back) and now he has an update about his “relationship” with the super young, hot therapist. Is he now "into" his therapist? Is his therapist maybe “into” him? Are they having sex yet? Is he still revenge fucking escorts? Tune in to find out plus hear all about the inappropriate experiences that happened to him when he was younger that has led to his sexual preferences as an adult. **To see anonymous pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You're listening to Strictly Anonymous on the Riotcast network, riotcast.com. Do you have a story, lifestyle, or situation you can't talk about to anyone, to anyone? Or do you just want to let your freak flag fly and be on the show? Well, Strictly Anonymous wants to hear from you. Send us an email, Strictly Anonymous podcast at gmail.com, with your story and your anonymous name. And remember, everything. is strictly anonymous.

Strictly Anonymous. Hey, welcome to Strickly Anonymous podcast with Kathy. If you want to be on the Strictly Anonymous podcast, I'm always looking for people to call in. This is a call-in advice show where I talk to Total Strangers about all kinds of things. I like to give people advice. So if you have a problem, you want to call in, you could do that if you have a secret life or a naughty life or you have like a really interesting life that you want to talk about to everybody. I could be on my show. sending an email

on Strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com and go to my website strictly anonymous podcast.com and click on being the show. I used to always go on Craigslist to find my people and I was always like

you can't make this shit up. The people on Craigslist is out of control but now I have so many listeners people just write in all the time which is great. So today I have on a guy named Don who was on my show previously if you want to hear his first episode

I think it's like 230 maybe is that his episode? I don't know. I say the exact. the right number when we're talking to him. But he was a guy who caught his wife cheating and then he was like totally revenge fucking escorts behind her back. He stayed with her, right?

And acted like he was past it, but he was like fucking escorts behind her back. And we talked all about that in the first episode. But he wrote him recently, he said he had an update and I didn't know anything to do with the update. I had no idea. I was like, is he still revenge, fucking escorts? He is still in therapy.

Because right after we spoke, he got into therapy. It turns out he got into therapy with like, a young hot 28 year old who he instantly quote unquote clicked with uh and some shit is going down there like i'm not going to give it away because i didn't know going into the call what was going on what the update was and that's always like the best way i think it makes it more interesting so uh that's what we talk about his inappropriate unprofessional hot therapist are they fucking yet you're going to have to listen are they gonna fuck you're going to have to listen is he still fucking escorts, you're going to have to listen.

And you will find out all of those questions. So anyway, I'm going to be right back on. Oh, and then you're also going to hear some like crazy shit that happened to when he was younger, which didn't come out on the first episode because the young hot therapist is the one that got him to reveal some crazy things. I mean, it's like

so crazy to me what happens to people when they're little. Like more people are molested. Like I used to hear like one out of every four people were molested and I always knew that, you know? And which means a lot of people fucking are. and I just can't begin to explain like how much crazy shit I've heard from people who call into this show about what like kind of stuff went down when they were younger. And this guy has like one really hardcore thing that happened to him in a hospital with a nurse when he was young.

It involves him, a nurse and a hard on. But anyway, so we talk about that too. So anyway, I'll be right back on with Don. Do you have a story, lifestyle, or situation you can't talk about to anyone, to anyone? Or do you just want to let your freak flag fly and be on the show? Well, Strictly Anonymous wants to hear from you. Send us an email, Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com, with your story and your anonymous name.

And remember, everything is strictly anonymous. Strictly Anonymous. Hey, Don, welcome back to the Strictly Anonymous podcast for your update show. Thanks. You have an update for me. I don't know anything about the update. I just know that you have an update, right? Yep.

And let's refresh everyone's memory about who you are and what your story was. You were, and I was just literally before I started taping was trying to figure out which guy who got cheated on that was fucking escorts were you, right? Because I've had a bunch of guys on that that has happened to, right? You caught your wife cheating with a guy from work. Like it was pretty hardcore, right? And anybody could listen to your episode. I'll have the exact episode. What was the number of your episode?

Do you remember? It was 216. 216. Yeah. Someone could listen to that. And after you found out in everything, I mean, you guys, like, you knew this couple. Like, it was all work-related thing. Like, you kind of had your suspicions.

Then you found out a while later, right? It wasn't, like, right away. That was quite a few years later. Yeah. Years later, you found out. And then you started to, you got past it and you stayed with her, but you maybe didn't get so past it. because you were like revenge fucking escorts, right? Like, and that was your deal.

Yeah, that's right. And then there was some sort of like an open relationship situation that maybe you guys were toying with, right? Because of this whole situation sort of brought that up and sort of into the conversation between you guys, right? Yeah. After maybe about a year. So after I found out and found the truth out, we started to discuss maybe opening it up

a little bit, maybe starting with another girl or another couple, maybe just playing around in the same room. We've toyed with the idea. We haven't moved too much forward with that yet, but we're still discussing it. Right. Now, let me ask you this, because you're going to be refreshing my memory, but you'll also be, like, sort of helping other people that are listening. Like, how did, like, sort of the whole cheating situation lead into you guys discussing,

staying together, but opening your relationship up to other people? I think we just, we both accepted what happened and we both sort of are on the same plane where we've been together so long now and it's kind of an interesting idea to open it up and play. Like if we can survive this bit, then we should be able to survive anything. We're pretty comfortable with each other, even though there's still a little bit of animosity in there from everything. Like I'm not going to lie about it.

That's kind of what leads into the update. Okay. Uh-huh. Oh, you're probably still revenge fucking escorts. My guess is this, and don't tell me if I'm right yet, my guess is that either A, you're still fucking escorts or B, she caught you. But don't tell me yet what the answer is because I want to just wait for that. Okay.

But so, so do you think it had to do with the fact that you were, like, you sort of were faced with the hardest thing that most people have to deal with is that the person that they love that they thought was monogamous was like completely fucking somebody else, right? that's like the hardest pill to swallow, especially if you're not ready for it, right? And it comes from out of nowhere. And it was secretive and whatever. But do you think because you swallowed that pill and you dealt with it, right? And you had to accept it.

And then you moved on that it sort of helped you be more open to that kind of situation because you already sort of know that she's been with other people. Or do you think that doesn't play into it at all? I don't know. No, no, that is definitely part of it. because it's crossed my mind. Like the barrier has already been crossed. And I mean,

it's not going to make it any worse. And if I'm involved with it, in my mind anyway, it makes it okay. Like, as long as I'm involved, it's fine. That's, as long as we're all in agreement,

like I'm, if she's there or I'm there, in my mind, none of us are cheating. And it's all in agreement. As long as we discuss ahead of time what boundaries we don't cross and what rules we have.

In my mind, anyway, that's the way it should be. Right. Mm-hmm. As opposed to, right, because then there's not that whole trust thing.

That's right. That's really what's so devastating, right? Because that is the biggest thing. Like I said before, the last time I should say, we've been together for a long, long time. She's actually, she was my first real experience. Uh-huh. And we were-

So you lost your virginity with her is what you mean. Yes. For the most part. Yeah. And like I said, I was very devoted. I didn't, I did. Yes, I looked. Everybody looks, but I never seriously ever thought about having any kind of

a fair cheating on her. I was very, very loyal. That was what was so, that's why I called the title was you were revenge fucking because obviously you were going against who you are. And I've said this before my podcast and I'm sure I said it in your episode and I've said it in other people's like some people think it's okay to fuck other people behind someone's back. It's just the way that it's where they're at and they don't feel like it's bad. They're maybe doing it for whatever reason, right? But that's what they're doing. And, but it's actually worse when you're somebody like you who doesn't believe in it, but you're doing it. And because it is coming out of like a spiteful place. Like,

you're actually lowering who you are or being someone that you're not sort of to get back at someone. And that weighs on you, right? Because maybe you feel guilty about it and everything. Whereas the guy that is okay with it or justifies it in some way, it's just a different breed of animal. You know what I mean? That guy, it's different for that guy to do it than for you, right? Because it's just, you're different than that person, right? We talked about that, right? Yeah, you're exactly right. We talked about. that and it was kind of like I wasn't ever told like no one ever came out and said you should marry one person you should always be faithful I just when I grew up that's it when I grew up that's kind of what everyone beat into your head sort of thing I didn't get told specifically I should do that

but that's the way I thought things should be you devote yourself to one person and but I wasn't against okay if it doesn't work out you you move on but at the same time I thought we were getting along fine everything seemed good I mean I was kind of blindside even though I had my suspicions Right. I thought, I thought everything was good. And the truth is, you were okay? Like, I mean, how long, how many years were you monogamous before you started with the escorts? Oh, Jesus.

Probably 20 years. Right. So that's a long time. And especially considering this was the only pussy you ever go, right? Like, I mean, this is the girl you lost your virgin. You've been with, you were with one woman. And for 20 years, you were okay. So you really are like the poster boy of monogamy.

Like it really is, and it's easy for you, right? It wasn't like, right? I mean, to do it for 20 years and be okay? Or was it torture? I don't know. No, it wasn't torture because honestly, I said it on the last time I called in. I really was really, I'm really shy. I don't, I didn't get out a hell of a lot when I was in high school.

I didn't date really much. So when I found somebody, I was so grateful that somebody would kind of just put up with me and let me, let me, just. just be who I was and accept me. It was great. And that was kind of the other problem. It made it really worse because it wasn't only my wife. It was my friend.

It was my other friend. It was like so many different betrayals. It really fucked my mind up. Right. Yeah. That's what, yeah. And then because what I did was after we talked the last time, I took your advice. And I went.

What was my advice was remind me? The first part was to not. It wasn't to tell her. No. It was to not. scratch the itch if I had it. Right. It was to get another therapist because I went to see somebody before and they kind of brushed me off. It was the one where one of the women asked me if I'd ever done anything I was ashamed of in my life. And I kind of took that like it's different.

You know, it's hard to explain you tell somebody something and they can judge you really quickly if they don't know the backstory. But I took that. I took obviously I still remember it. So I'm not very happy about it. For me, it was a dick thing to say. Right. Well, she said was that. What did she say? Did she say to you? What did she say exactly? And what did you say? What happened was we went in together to see, to be evaluated.

Oh, right. I remember. She sort of like accused you or tried to be like, don't you understand her? Like haven't you ever done anything bad? She kind of like tried to make you feel like it wasn't that big of a deal that she's human. Exactly. That's how I took it. Her words were, haven't you done anything you've been ashamed of before?

And I'm like, well, not like that. You know, like I'm not. I mean, come on. There's so many more layers to what she did. And especially, I mean, she can't say that to you. You were the victim of what she did. I mean, you know, that's so ridiculous. That really pissed me off because I was not in the, first of all, I was really angry.

And I wasn't in the mood to not negotiate. But I was just, I was looking for help because I needed it. I'm not going to joke around it. I needed help. I was really confused what I should do. Yeah. Because I wanted to stay for my daughter. but at the same time, I didn't want to stay if I wasn't going to be happy because what's the point?

Yeah. But we've worked on it since. You found a new therapist? Well, that's, yeah. What I did was the company I worked for is actually pretty good. We have a separate program where if you need help, it's all anonymous. You call. You basically tell them your problem.

Yeah. And they set you up. Yeah. So I called and they set me up with somebody. And I went to see it was an older guy. He was okay, but I didn't get a good vibe from him. I just don't know what it was. So I said, you know what?

I'm going to think about it. And I called them back. And I said, listen, I don't, I don't have a connection. I'd like to see if I could get somebody else. So they said they'd call me back in a couple weeks because they'd have to search. Because in my area, I'm pretty, in a pretty rural area. Yeah. And there's not a ton around.

Anyway, they called me back. And they said they had somebody that was just starting up. But I'd have to travel about an hour to go see. I said, it's fine. So I went. Okay. So I went. And it's a younger woman.

And right away, we connected pretty good. Like, I thought this is somebody that I can talk to. Oh, I hope your update is that you're banging her now. Well, just wait. Oh, okay. I love, this is why I loved you. I love these kind of stories. Oh, maybe that's not it.

I don't know. Just don't tell me. Well, that's what I, at the end, I'll sort of need your advice. Okay, okay. Because anyway, started seeing her. And I go every other week just because that's what they pay for. so I don't want to pay the extra. But it started off.

I told the same story I told you. Yeah. We went through the whole thing. We went through a few more details because obviously I have more time. I'm able to kind of. And I actually, I remember things as I'm going because as you start talking things through, you obviously remember more details.

Yeah. Details. So, uh, but she right away, it was almost like talking with a friend because. You felt comfortable. You had an insight connection with her.

I always tell people with therapists. It's like a date. Like you know the. the right one when you meet them. But most of the time you have to like do like what you do in dating or like go on a couple first dates with people and like this is not right.

And then you meet the right one. You just know. So you're lucky that you found that person on the second runaround, right? Yeah. Well, that's the thing. Like maybe three or four sessions in after I told her all the back story

and some of the other stuff there. She basically came out and told me she doesn't blame me at all for what I did. She doesn't actually think it was anything wrong with what I was doing because when she was younger, well, she's, I think, I don't know what age, she's probably 28. She said when she was in college, she had a boyfriend and something similar happened to her. She was very loyal. She'd been with him for four or five years and all of a sudden she found out that she was banging one of her friends.

So she instantly, she was younger. She broke it right off and then she decided to just go out and bang everything that she could, which I kind of like, she started telling me some of her stories. so I was kind of interested then. Oh my God. This is so inappropriate. I know. I know.

That's right. And then she started. No wonder why. Oh, my God. Now, then the thing is after that, it's almost like after you hear some of that, it's like talking with a friend. Like I said, it's like a adult. Yeah.

Yeah. That's because that's, you know what it is. Listen, there's a difference between when you talk to a friend and when you talk to therapist because there's something called fucking boundaries, okay? When you have a friend, there are no boundaries. There's no rules of regulations when you're having a conversation, right? But when you're having a conversation. with the therapist.

There are fucking boundaries. Like they do not start telling you shit about their life, especially not that they were banging the world. You know what I mean? But. Oh my God. Let me ask you this really quick because I want to just get a painted picture. Like are you doing this over the phone or are you in person?

You would drive an hour. No, it's right? Is she hot? Is she hot? Like she's 28. And how old are you? I'm 45. Okay.

So you walk in. There's a 28-year-old chick there, right? And the fact that she's telling you she's fucking only people, like, what is she on a scale of one to ten? Well, in my opinion, she's about a nine. Oh, my God. Yeah. So do you think you had an instant connection with her as a like a therapist patient or as a man-woman chemistry? It's probably a bit of both because instantly it was the man-woman thing instantly.

I mean, I'm not going to lie. She was really attractive. No, listen, you're a man. It's hard not to, it's in your, it's in your DNA, right? just look at an attractive woman and maybe get a partial witty. And actually, I thought about right away not going through with it because I was a little bit afraid I wouldn't be able to be comfortable talking with her because. Yeah, because you're attracted to her.

Yeah. Exactly. You should have not gone further with her, but then we wouldn't have a really good episode that I feel like we're going to have. So I'm glad you stuck with it, don't you? Well, after we got through the first couple talking about what had happened and then sort of what I had done, she started to go back and sort of dig a little bit deeper and peel the layers off and try to see if she could figure out maybe if there was more to it than

just me revenge fucking somebody. Okay. Because she started, she wanted to ask like, like she wanted to ask about my first real experience. Like, because. Well, wasn't this woman your first real experience? Well, for intercourse, yes. Mm-hmm.

Like, she wanted to actually go back and know when I first started to like get her. and get horny. Exactly. Right. Okay, cool. That's smart. I like, I normally probe like that.

Tell me. And what was, what was the deal? What was, what did you tell her? First, I had not forgotten about it, but it was something I'd sort of put in the back of my mind.

But I remember when I was in elementary school, I think grade six or seven, maybe I was probably 12 or 13. I remember I had a friend that used to go over quite often. And one day I went over and we were sitting there and he, you want to see something cool. I said, sure. So he went.

He came back. and he had a videotape in his hand, put it in, and he had his father's, one of his father's porn stash there's. Yeah. So he put the video on, we watched it, and that was the exact, actually the first time I'd ever seen any kind of porn. Of course, it's not like it is now where you can just turn anything on and see it. It was a videotape, and you had to kind of rifle through it. Yeah. And he put that on, and I was pretty much addicted at the second I saw that.

Like, I'd never seen it before. I'd seen a little bit in magazines, but it's a little bit different when you see it in full motion on your TV. Oh, please. I know. I always talk about how like you, no one can have that experience anymore because porn is just like there and it's so much that the, like the feeling you got when you got to see something because it was so naughty and it was so unavailable. So like anything could be, it was like the greatest thing ever like striking gold. So it wasn't a big deal, but we watched it for a few minutes, put it away. No, but it wasn't a big deal or it was a big deal. It was a big deal, but we didn't like I said, we didn't like jack off in front of each other. Right. Okay. Yeah. But the first thing I did when I got home was I started rifling through my parents' stuff because I said, they've got to have a take two. And sure enough, I found one.

Okay. And pretty much from that moment on, I've been addicted to watching it. Like, I constantly, constantly have it on now. You know, like it sounds kind of sick in a way, but I'll be doing something. And then I'll have my iPad on and I'll have it playing in the background. I'll sort of just kind of peek in on it. Meaning porn, just any kind of porn? Okay. Yep. Anyway, so that was the first thing I remember. But about, Two years later, I think I was in high school and I had appendicitis and my appendix burst. I had to go in the hospital and at the time, this was back in the late 80s, the hospital that's near us didn't have any kind of air conditioning. So I had a really high fever. I had a bad fever because of the infection. And so every night I had to get sponge baths from the nurse. Every four hours.

How old are you again at this? I'm going to, I think it was about 14. Okay. So 14 years old, I'm in the hospital. And every, I think it was every four hours, I don't remember now. They came and I was not really in it because I was really sick. They give me a sponge bath to cool me down. They brought her fan in to cool me out.

Everything was good. About three or four days into it, there was a woman working the night shift. And I didn't know her, but she asked me, she said, you know, I don't remember her name, Judy, blah, blah, blah. I said, yeah, she was a couple grades older than me. She goes, well, I'm her mother. So that's nice, nice to meet you. And of course, I'm about 100 pounds soaking wet. Yeah.

Not very big. By that time, I started to feel better. So the second night she comes in, she starts to give me the sponge bath, and I kind of had an direction. Uh-huh. And she looks at me. She says, well, you're not going to be able to go to bed with that. I said, probably not. And she went down, and she just grabbed it by her hand, and she just gave me a hand job.

Wait a second. How did we miss this on my first call? I love that 28-year-old dig-deep therapist. Look at the shit she revealed. Okay, wait a second. Let's go slowly here because this is fascinating to me. This was not only a nurse. This was a girl in your school's mother.

Like this wasn't like a 19-year-old nurse. This was like probably like a 30-year-old nurse or 35-year-old. I'm guessing, yeah. She was 30 or 35. Yeah, that's what I'm guessing. Oh, my God. God, so she's someone's mom. She already told you that she sees your dick heart and she jerks you off.

Yep. Wow. And I was so fucking horny at the time and so young. I didn't know what to do, but I said, I'm just going to lay here and let it go. Because what else could I do? Yeah, yeah. Uh-huh. But she did that.

I maybe lasted 15 seconds. And that was that. And she was in a couple nights after, but she had a couple times she had like student nurses with her. So it never happened again. But it was, that was my first time basically getting, having an orgasm by somebody else. Let me ask you this. Like after she jerked you up and you came, like, did she say anything? Or like, or did she just like act professional about it?

Like, did she say like, how was it? Like, I don't know. Like, what did she say after? She, all she did was clean me up, gave me my sponge bath and she just have a good sleep. And that was it. Wow. Interesting. I wonder how she frames that sort of scenario.

Like does she think she was just doing you a favor? Like was she like a pedophile? Like you don't know. I don't know. Like it's a weird scenario. It was one of the like at the very at the time it started. Did you get raped? Like do you think it's abuse?

Right? I mean the very first second or two I'm like this isn't right. But then I'm like, I don't care. Well, because you couldn't help it because your body reacted physically to it and you were super turned on. But in your mind, you knew there was something not right about it. I mean, right? I mean, talk about boundary. crossing. Yep. Oh, I know. Yeah. Okay. So this is interesting. So there was that. And then I told her I

remembered afterwards, there was a time where when I lived, the town we lived in as a kid, it was kind of, again, it's in the rural area, but behind our house, there was like a small river that ran through the woods. It was about a five minute walk from our house. And it was kind of near a road, but you couldn't see it from the road if that makes any sense. We used to play down there all the time as kids and one day I walked down there and somebody had left three or four magazines out by the river. I don't know. I don't remember what they were, but they were say hustlers or something like that. Yeah.

So I grabbed those fucking things and I took them through the woods there and I hid them because I said, that's my treasure right there. Yeah, you could always come out there, read them, do your thing and go back. Oh, yeah. So there was one time, well, more than one time. I used to run down after school and I check him out and I do my thing and go home. I don't know what it was, but being out. in the woods there, you're out in the open, it was kind of, I don't know, it felt free.

So, yeah, yeah. But there was one day, I went down there and I started going through them. I was in my own world taking care of that. And I happened to be pretty close to finishing myself off. And I looked up and just about, I don't know, 10 or 15 feet from me, there was just a guy standing there looking at me. He was watching me. And I stopped dead in my tracks.

And all he said was, it's okay. And I said, sure. And I finished off. and I kind of, I was so in the zone that I did, what I didn't realize. Yeah. That he was jerking off too. No, he just stood there and watched and then he went on as we had a fishing pole with him and he walked on his way. And that's the only thing I, I was so into what I was doing that I wasn't paying attention to my surroundings.

I didn't realize. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Almost right next to a trail. Yeah. Uh-huh. But that was the last time I did that because I said I can't get caught again like that because I felt, I felt pretty embarrassed. But at the same time, it was kind of sort of hot at the same time. Like, it was kind of neat that somebody who sat there watching me do something like that.

Right. So apart, there was something kind of, you were kind of like horning for that scenario. Yeah. Okay. Well, that's it. And like, as we talked about things like that was basically, I mean, it's as slow as that was. That was basically everything I had until I met my wife. And.

But that's like kind of like, those are two, I think, very. major things that happened to you when you were younger that aren't typical for other people, right? I don't think, right? I mean, especially the nurse thing. I don't know what was going on and that guy said, like, was he watching you and horny for you? Or was he like an older man that just sort of saw a young kid jerking off and understood it and was cool about it? You know, I don't know. I don't know either. I never saw him before. I never saw him. I have no clue. And he walked, like, you don't know how long. And I don't, you know, and like, did you, like did you find yourself fantasizing about men sort of watching you like after that like did it imprint in you in some way?

Do you think? Yeah, it did a little bit because when we talked last time, I never mentioned that there was a couple times there when this was all going on when I was doing my revenge fucking. Yeah. There was a there's a porn theater not too far from us. It's closed now. And I used to go once in a while and I get into the mood there. And the same thing, I'd start taking care of myself and people would be watching. And people would be walking in other guys, right?

Yes. Uh-huh. In the theater, right? And that was sort of, I think, from that experience, like you're right, I think it, I never even thought of it until I started telling her about it. Yeah. But I pieced the two together and I said, now that I think of it, maybe that's part of where that came from. I kind of like the exhibition part of it.

Yeah, and maybe it's because it just happened in the middle of like, you know, you think about it. Like there you are so sort of horny and turned on and then that situation is right there. So it imprints as a turn on, right? It's maybe you would have never, that wouldn't have been a turn on if that experience never happened, right? Maybe it's like, I don't really know about psychology. I always say I give unprofessional advice, but it makes sense, right? If like in the middle of you being really horny, something happens and you're so horny, you like now every time that happens, again, you remember the feeling that you had when you saw it, right?

So it makes sense. And especially I think when you're in your formative years, those things do play into it. And because, I mean, I've had people on that are into some weird things, like the one, the poor girl that was into farting. And she could only get off if she was, I mean, it was like, and there was, I think there was something that happened like that would turn her on. And like, you know, she sort of wired herself to be into that. You know what I mean? So these kind of things could sort of happen. And then all of a sudden, these are sort of turn-ons for you.

But they come from somewhere a lot of times, I think. Yeah. So now you guys are, you and your lady, your girl, she's not even a lady. She's like a young, hot piece of ass, right? She's a nine and you're going to her. And you're telling her all this stuff. She tells you her stories, right? And you're telling her that stuff.

And then what starts to happen between you guys? Like I said, she asked me about how I started, like how I started off. off and I, like I told you, I told her about watching the porn I was young and all these little stories there. And then I said, really, basically from after that happened, nothing much happened between then and when I met my wife, but I still always had that. I really, really liked watching porn. I mean, yeah. Of course, my, at the time, my parents had one tape, which had like two or three movies on it, I watched it over and over. And like you said, it's sort of imprinted on me, because she asked me, she, like, what is it that you remember the most about it? And there wasn't

really a lot that stood out, but it's the one thing that I think that I took from that is it's not a fetish, but I really like when women wear stockings and like garters, you know, heels. Yeah. Because that, and at the time, I remember too that in that movie they all were wearing them. So it's sort of, again, my first imprint sort of put it on me. So I told her that and I said, even to this day when I, when I watch porn, I mean, a lot of times I look for a search for that when I see the thumbnail, I click on that and that's what I do. When you see the girl with the high heels, you mean. Exactly. And then when I

back when I was doing my revenge fucking, I would call and a lot of times I would always be attracted to the pictures that had the girls in those right away and I'd always ask if they could wear them if they had. It was only one time I ever got somebody to wear and it didn't go all that well, but it's another story.

But it was one of those things I was chasing that dragon steady. For sure. Like I said, she thinks I have sort of an addictive personality like when I really like something I really really like it I can't I can't get away from it sort of thing I have to I'm always chasing that dragon yeah I get that some people are like that and and when you know that you're like that that's why it's so important like kind of like never to scratch an itch because once you do when you give into it it it's almost like you know the floodgates open and you can't stop right it's that's right yeah so it's sometimes better not to even go there so so you she how How detailed does she get as far as like her stories about her shit with you? Not not terribly detailed.

She told me basically what I told you. She had that one guy, well, the one guy, that time where she was with somebody for a couple of years, three years, whatever. And then that's where she said she just pretty much she decided to get revenge. She let all her inhibitions go and just did whatever she could, which was in her case. I can imagine she didn't have a lot of trouble. Yeah. So that's, she didn't go into that much detail. more into asking me asking me and I like I said I felt so comfortable after a couple visits that I

just didn't hold back anymore. Well, listen, that's important. It is important. And like, you know, maybe it wasn't, I don't know, because you haven't told me the whole thing yet and you do need my advice as far as I think you're going to ask about advice with your relationship with your therapist maybe where it's at or where it's going. I don't know. But, you know, I do think like a therapist's job is to make you feel comfortable and feel safe and enough to really open up about your stuff. And like you were able to really remember things that happened to you that you probably had never told anybody, right? So maybe her just throwing the stuff

out like about her, what, you know, made you feel like gave you because you said, it made me feel like I was talking to a friend, right? And maybe that really helped you then open up to her all the stuff that you needed to so she could really help you. Yeah. So. No, that's it. That's it. I don't know. but like I say, it was almost instantly I felt comfortable and it was a nice feeling for a change because I really haven't been able to talk to anybody about any of this. I've got so many things. Like anybody that knows me and has known me for years would be pretty shocked if they found any of this out because I've never told a soul about any of this. Uh-huh, right. And to hear somebody after I explain everything and explain all the details sort of not agree with me but sort of, I guess agree with me or side with me and say that it's not.

Because I was feeling a little bit down on what I did. Because of me. No, no, no. Because I kind of, like she explained it too. You did what you had to do, make yourself feel better. And it's not really a bad thing because if you feel better in the end, that's what matters. And I get that. But at the same time, I still said, well, maybe it's not the right way of going.

Mm-hmm. And anyway, because then she asked me why I've never thought about having enough. affair. And for me, that's a bit different because that's when it's an ongoing thing. And if you're, especially if it's another married woman, I really don't want to. It's not something I'm interested in. Yeah. But it's more than that too because it's just that's what was done to me. And I absolutely, now, I'm not saying I'm any better than my wife was because I'm really doing the same thing she was. But at the same time when you're having an affair, it's more than just sexual. And, you know, if it was a one-time thing, and you're wham-bam, thank you, ma'am.

I can almost accept it because... That adds a whole other thing to cheating, and that's even more devastating because there's an emotional connection. It means you're getting even more than just like... So that's a whole other thing, and that is even worse, right? For someone to sort of... Like, oh, yeah, I fuck somebody else,

and then they're like, oh, my God, that's the worst thing ever. And then you say, and I love with them, like, that's a kick in... Like, that's like even worse, right? To find out. That's it. Yeah. And I don't want... to do that. But when she asked you, why would you, would you want to have an affair? Like,

is she just feeling you out, trying to make you see the difference? Or is she telling you you should have an affair? Like, I don't understand. It was never, I never got any more either than that. I just, it was the question that was asked. And I just, like I said, that's, it may be a stupid thing to say, but that was the line I drew us. I don't want to go back and see anybody more than once. It's one of those things where it feels worse than just going out and doing your hour business and going home sort of thing. It is. It's a totally different story.

That's it. And then you start getting emotional, emotions involved, and I don't want to have another relationship going. That's basically what I told her. Yeah. It's not that I'm not, like I say, it's still kind of,

even though it happened a long time ago, it was really raw on my, on my emotions for what she did to me. And I don't want to do that to somebody else. That's basically it. Yeah, right. How could you not have empathy? you were in that position, you know what it feels like for sure.

Yep. So it's going to be harder for you than somebody else. That's right. And I guess it's just in my mind. I justify it. I go do my escort thing. I do what I do and I go home and that's the end of it. I don't think about it again.

I try not to stay in contact with them. It's just, it's a hard thing to kick though. It's one of those things where her thing is she said she thinks after talking to me that it's not so much the sexual thing that I'm addicted. to it's more the not the empowerment but it's made me feel good about not just getting back at her

but feeling good about myself like it's giving me some confidence in my life which something I haven't really had ever and she thinks maybe I'm getting addicted to the confidence more than the actual sexual encounters that makes sense right and I mean listen you have to get confidence from something else right I mean because that's why you have to keep going back

and it's like chasing the dragon because you're not really getting anything lasting because that's fake confidence. You're getting fake strength from doing that. That's what that's why revenge fucking doesn't work and that's why no you can't stop because what you're trying to get you can't get from those escorts you could only get from within yourself, you know, and whatever that is. Well, that's it. Well, the funny thing is though like after the last time we talked, I I sort of realized, because I think you mentioned it actually too, was something about I started to feel more confident because I've started to I've started to notice people noticing me more which I've never

noticed in my life maybe because I wasn't paying attention but I actually took it to I went to my boss and I sort of I don't even remember how I did it but I basically got myself a new job which much better hours because I took my confidence and I basically said listen if you don't get me something better I'm leaving and I would have never done that before so you do so where do you think this new confidence has come from Do you think it's from the escort? So maybe I'm wrong. I don't want to say that it is, but it's just being with only one person in your whole life.

And no matter how good you feel about it, it's only one person. So you have a very small sample size to know if you can make somebody happy, make somebody feel good about them. All I've ever wanted to do is make somebody feel good. And when you go in and you see somebody for an hour and I've done it, I've never been able to. able to do before, but there was one time I actually went in. I was actually able to make somebody squirt. And it was something to see. And she had said, she goes, I'm not not not saying this to make you feel good, but that's only ever happened once to be in my life. And then she took a turn on me. And it was just, it was after that hour, I felt so good about myself. And at the same time,

I didn't because, again, I'm, I'm cheating. But I just like, I can't believe I did that. And it's one of those things where I feel good that I can do something like that, but it's not something I can really share with anybody. Right, right, right. But it did sort of give you the confidence to go and get yourself a better job. Well, that's it. And it's funny because, like I told you, I would have never, ever, ever done that. I've been working in the same place for, again, in almost 25 years now.

And I've done almost the same job. And it was getting monotonous. And it was, I was getting sick of it. But the old me would have just said, you know what, live with it. You're going to not be able to do any better for yourself. But then I said, it's enough. I'm going to try to take care of myself for a change. Because in my mind, I've been taking care of everybody for my entire life.

But don't you also think that like, because I really believe that when people go through really difficult things and they come out of it, right? They say the only way out of something difficult is if you go through it, right? You didn't sort of, like you went through what you had to deal with with your wife because you stayed with her. Like so you really had, you know, and you got to the other side as much as you could, right? which was probably one of the hardest thing you ever had to do, right, is to get to a point where you could stay with her and trust her and whatever.

Like I said, it was a hard pill to swallow, but you did go through it. And I mean, don't you think that gives you confidence? I mean, I do believe that, like, going through difficult things and surviving, right? And knowing that, wow, your life could totally change and the rug could be pulled from beneath you, and you could still be okay. It gives you the confidence to sort of shake things. up in your life again because you're like wow I could I could do that and survive right it's I won't crumble and I think because most people have a fear of change but when change is thrown upon you when

you least expect it and you deal with it it helps you sort of don't you think that helps help yeah I think I think in a funny way this whole ordeal is kind of made me stronger because what was happening at the time when all this was going on and I didn't really know about it I was I felt crazy like I really thought I was going crazy I thought everything was in my head but then I believe leave it and it was just and it sounds dumb but it was sort of in the long run a relief to find out that I wasn't crazy I was the one I knew what was going on right because listen it's worse to be crazy than because at least like if you're crazy it's a lifelong thing like that kind of crazy like delusional crazy thinking things in your head and shit like that crazy will probably never go

away but what you had to deal with which is the fact that your wife was fucking cheating on you with someone that you know in work like that could be dealt with done with and there's like a beginning, a middle and an end to that, right? And you could deal with that, right? So I think, yeah, it is better than being fucking nuts and delusional. And that's it. And that's what getting back to the therapist, she said, she thinks maybe that because I'm an addictive personality and stuff like that, maybe sort of, not that I have

multiple personalities, but there's always been a part of me underneath. It's been like super hypersexual that has been repressed all these years because I was so focused on and now because this has happened and I feel a little bit empowered that it's kind of getting out and it's getting hard to cover the scratch again it's it's like right okay but let me ask you this what has happened since the last time we tell like what is your update to you like what is the update that you were going to tell me is it that you're you're still cheating with escorts is that you kind of like your therapist like I don't know at this point I'm confused yeah well that's it like right a couple weeks after we talked about the whole porn thing and stalking bullshit,

I came in to see her and she was wearing a very, very, very short skirt and she was wearing high heels. Oh my God. Stop! When you were telling me the whole high heel thing in my head, I wanted to say to you, did she show up the next session with high heels on? I swear to you, and I don't know why I didn't say that. I'm so mad. It wasn't the next one, but maybe two or three weeks later, I don't remember. But I remember walking in and I kind of tried not to notice, but I noticed.

There's no not noticing that. It was very. And in my mind, back of my mind, I'm like, is she testing me? I don't know what's going on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I brushed it off and we just did our normal chatting for an hour. And I went home. But in my mind, I'm like, something different there is happening.

And then we went the next week when I went back, she was dressed more normally. What she normally dressed is a little bit more conservative. Okay. And she'd asked me if I'd thought about. going back to doing my revenge fucking again or escorts, seeing escorts. And to be honest, I said, I've thought about it. But it's harder now with my new job because I have less time to myself, whereas before I'd have days off where I could get away and no one would know what I was doing. But I said, I have a week coming up where my wife is leaving and my daughter's leaving. I'm

going to be home alone for an entire week, which is actually right now. Yeah. Oh, right. So I said, I remember when you emailed me, you like have this one week. Yeah. That's it. I've, So it's kind of making it easier to do. So she said as an assignment, she wanted me just to look and see if I could find something that would interest me, which I thought was very odd too. So I went back, came back to her the next week, which was two weeks ago. And I said, I've just looked where I usually look. You know, you've got back page and things like that.

And I had told her too about where my wife and I were looking at maybe seeing another couple, but it hadn't quite worked out yet. she's not that she's not that she's not ready but she uh she's trying to get herself in better shape she doesn't feel good about herself and i'm not i'm not going to push her and she's working on it so if it never happened i'm not i'm not putting any pressure but we were in contact with a couple here and there and it was looking promising but i said we're going to wait until yeah she feels better so when i came back to her i said i found a couple ads that interested me and i showed her from my phone i said this is what interests me yeah and i said and i said and

And I also told her, I said, well, we were chatting with a couple. But the funny thing is, this couple was also chatting with another couple. And they gave me their contact info. And we were using a Yahoo Messenger. Yeah. And I chatted with a second couple. And I told them, I said, listen, we're not ready yet. And they said something about, I don't remember how it came up.

But they said, well, if she's not ready, ask me if I would be ready. Yeah. So I'm like, what are you talking about? And they're basically like they like to be watched. They like to have somebody in the room watching them. And they asked if I'd be interested because I have this week off. Yeah. And so the only boundary, the only real boundary is I don't fuck her.

It's you watch. You can eat her out. You can jack off. She'll jack you off. She'll blow you. But that's it. You're not allowed to put anything inside her. Okay.

But that rest of the stuff, that's a lot of stuff that could go down. That's right. I mean, that's it. It's pretty, it's actually really, really. really tempting because now again in my mind I'm thinking well I'm not fucking anybody but it's kind of in my if if if it if if if I found out she was doing it I wouldn't be very happy about it like behind her back yeah and anyway so I told her all that this is what you might do it's appealing to you okay yes and the one that I found there's actually an escort for whatever I just

lucked out she lives like 20 minutes for me I think it is and And she's 26. She looks. Pictures, you never can, you never can trust them. I've been pretty lucky so far that the ones I have seen, they've been pretty accurate. But she's not pushing me,

but she says if you were to do it, I'd like to hear about it. What, your therapist? Yeah. Right. So she, so that's where you're at with her. Like she sort of like seems to be, I don't know.

to me it seems like she's pushing you in that direction now? Well, the other thing too, is I haven't told you yet, is the last time I saw her, she's on vacation for a couple weeks now. When she was coming back, she works in an office. There's like three or four different therapists in the same office. They share a secretary. The last time I saw her, because I have to drive an hour, she said, asked me if I'd be interested because she actually lives only about a half an hour for me. She says, if I'd be interested, maybe I could see her at her place instead. So I'm not I have in my head maybe what that means, but I'm not sure because

Oh God. Yeah, I'm dying. It's a little gray, but it's a little bit not gray, but it's like I wanted to be black and white. Like I want her to just like really. Is there anything else that she's done that's like, I mean, is this that is that the last thing that she did and now she's away? Yeah. Because I saw her. It was maybe two months ago.

That's when the whole heals. things came in and that really, really, really got my attention because in my mind, that was a signal. Now, I've always, my whole life, like I said, I was a, I was a nerd, I never noticed that. I, I always assumed people weren't paying attention to me, but maybe I just didn't see it. But I saw that and I, in the back of my mind, thought maybe that was, and then this whole thing about trying to see it or her place where there's no secretaries, there's no nobody around. It's, and what was the reason why she'd see you at your house as opposed to this place? It was just because it was closer.

That was her, what she said to me, she was maybe saving me the trip, but it would be later at night because her office closes at 5 o'clock or whatever. So it would be more like 7 o'clock instead of 5 o'clock or before, I should say. And she said you could see me at my house. Did she say she sees patients there? I mean, I never asked. I thought it was a little bit strange, but she said the next time she comes back, we could talk about it more and decide if we wanted to go in that direction. So I'm a little bit torn because I'm not sure what's going to happen if I go see her at her place. I'm confused too.

I want you to go because I really want to see if she's going to make a pass at you because this is what I think with a therapist. And I like listen, there's two things that could be going on. Like one, she is angling to fuck you. And I think any therapist is going to be manipulative about it. Right. And like they wouldn't just straight up like, be like, hey, let's bang. Right. they would do the stuff that she's doing,

which is like sort of manipulate you into, like when she tells you, oh, what you did wasn't wrong because it gave you confidence. And are you thinking about cheating again? She's like, you know, she's almost like pushing you in the direction so you start fucking other people.

Like, it seems that way to me. And that's very manipulative to do to somebody in your position, right? And, but that's her way of angling you to start banging her and cheating on your wife, right? But that's the way a therapist who knows how mind fucking works, right, would do it.

Because she can't just come out and say, let's fuck, right? She could work you like nobody's business because you're sitting there every day and you're paying for it, right? So she's got you sort of under there. She knows your weaknesses. She knows your thing, right? Listen, or we're totally, like thinking all these things are pointing to that, but they're not. Like maybe she was wearing those high heels that day and the thing because she had a date afterward.

Do you know if she's married or anything or what's going on with her? She's got nobody. She told me she's not married, no boyfriend. Okay. So, you know, it could be that she was going out on a date and that's why she had those high heels and that thing. I don't know. But when you put, and like I said, I do believe that somebody that's a therapist, right? And I, this is why I always say it takes a while to sometimes find the right therapist because I think a lot of people that get into that profession are

fucking whack jobs, okay? Like, I'm sorry. Like the most, and you want to know how I know that? Because I had one friend and I will never say her name, not even her first name. Let's just call her Joan, right? And Joan was a fucking, she was my roommate very early on when I lived in New York, like in my 20s, right? And she was a fucking psychopath, okay?

Like she was, I mean, she was fun when you're in your 20, psychos are like fun, right? But like, once they're over 30, they're like, she was like a mental institution. Like, she was like straight up like. anyone that knows her knows she's been in mental hospital she tries to kill herself she can't handle one thing in life without winding up like in a fucking straight jacket okay this is how mental she is and supposedly because i'm not friends with her anymore but i know her brother that she's like living in israel and she's like one of the top social workers there it's like this happens all the time like so many of the people that wind up so interested in that stuff are interested because they're trying to figure themselves out because they're such bleat and messes right so that's why you get a lot of i literally had i always thought i would write a book and have one chapter be called my strength the paralyzed lesbian i had a i had a therapist when i was younger in high school because i was like thrown out of lots of schools who literally made a pass at me underneath the table like during a school meeting in front of my parents i remember you

telling or hearing that yeah right and like she did this and like and it totally fuck with my head but She knew my history. Like she knew. So these people, you know, are really fucked up the way they go about it. It's never direct. Like I was saying, like, I wish she would do something black and white. Like, I want to know, right? It's so gray.

But that's their way. They're fucking manipulative. And I, you know what I'm saying? Because that's the nature. That's the game they play. Like, that's what they're doing for a living. They're manipulating you to tell your feelings, to show your vulnerabilities, to get inside your mind, to figure out who you.

are, right? So, and they use that in a way if there are, these people are boundary pushers and they're abusers. And because, I mean, it's fucked up what she's doing if you ask me. Exactly. Well, that's what, like I said, after a few visits, I started to think maybe that was what was going on, but I'm so stupid when it comes to that. I never could, never could decide if it was the case or was all in my head.

Again, I was starting to get crazy. And, you know, and listen, the, the, the thing that happened to you when you, you were young with the nurse doesn't help your sort of mind to know what's right and wrong because I'm the same way I had shit happen to me when I was younger that fucked with my head right so like to this day I'm always like I know she was feeling me up like in the middle of my leg inappropriately but like I don't know whether that's right or wrong like and people are always like of course that's wrong but I don't know that because I think of other things that happened to me so I think when you're sort of abused and you don't know like it sort of fucks with that feeling of like your own

because they were sort of, they're not clear to you, right? Because people pushed your boundaries when you were younger, right? That nurse, that was like highly inappropriate what happened to you and you're in a hospital situation, you're sick. Like, you know, on so many levels that was so wrong, right? But I think that that really fucks with your sort of view of what's right and wrong in the future because I know stuff like that happened to me and then I don't even know whether when I'm 17 and some ladies like almost fingering me under the table, whether that's, I'm like,

I know. I like in my mind I think it's wrong but on some level I don't know if it was wrong do you know what I mean you don't you start to doubt yourself no I exactly know what you mean because as she's meant talking through this the last few times I saw her I was thinking the exact same thing I kind of feel the exact same way I did with a nurse it was like it felt really good but I knew it was deep down I knew it was wrong like something you feel like something's going and I think you could trust that like with that therapist that I had that wound up making a pass at me I used to tell my friends like I just feel like she wants me like she'd look at her tits and look at like I don't know she would ask me like stuff about sex like there was just something about it that I always felt was weird like I never like to share sex stuff with her because I don't know I just and I think you could trust your intuition and I think that there's just a couple things that you said that she's done that to me are sort of inappropriate one is the fact that she told you she started banging tons of people two is the fact that she told you what you did was good and right and not bad I I

I'm sorry. And like I said in the beginning when I was explaining your situation, I told you if there's like a different kind of guy out there that calls up and is like cheating and that's just a part of his thing and he doesn't feel bad because it's just whatever. You know what I mean?

That's a very different situation than somebody like you. You know, that knows, did feel wrong about what you were doing. Do you know what I mean? Like how do you take that away? I don't know. And the fact that she's trying to make, I don't know, to turn it.

into something that's like an empowering thing for you. That's, yeah. And the thing is, like, I'm not going to lie to you. I'm super, super attracted to her. If I wasn't married, I wouldn't think twice about this. It's just. Well, duh. She's a nine.

She's 28. You're 45. You've, like, come on. You have a thing for escort. You know, you have this itch. She knows about it. The fact that she tells you, are you thinking about doing it? She says to you, let me see the people that you.

want to fuck like I mean? No, you're right. It's one of those things. I know it's not right, but I just, I can't help myself. I know. I'm secret. And I have to tell you, I feel just as confused as you. I don't think it's right for you to fuck her, but I'm hoping you are.

I haven't yet because like I said, I haven't seen her. It's so bad for you, but I want you to go to her house and I want to see. And listen, I don't think if you go to her house, she's going to like make a pass at you, the first time. I really think it's like a slow, this is the way it happens with people like this. It's a slow, I think she's working it. I don't know. What are you on a scale of one to 10? I forget. Did I ask you last time? Are you attracted? No, you didn't actually. Well, the thing is, if you'd asked me that two years ago before all this, or three or four years ago, I should say, before all this happened, I would have given myself a six, I'd say, but I,

I sort of see myself in a different light now. I'm more like a seven. And if you really get to know me, I think I'm more like an eight My personality Like I am Right and that helps with girls What girls Yeah Like a personality

And swagger and like confidence Like all that totally adds up That's why you see like really hot girls Going out with ugly guys sometimes Because they're really fucking funny Or they're cocky Or they're really charming Like you know

That's like it's very It's different with guys But with girls Like There's a lot of other things that play into How women are attracted to a guy It's not just a physical thing Yeah

And that's that's one other thing. Like as we talk about things, she would always ask me like what when you go through your experiences you had, was there one thing that stood out? And it's not stupid to say, but one thing that stood out was a lot of times they had always mentioned, oh, you're so good. And you're actually a lot bigger than I would have pictured, which sort of sounds like an insult. Yeah. But, but it's not because like she actually splint because I'm not a very, I may be five foot seven. Yeah. I'm not super heavy.

But I do, I do a lot of manual. So I'm pretty, pretty muscular. I don't, I don't have a six-pack. But besides that, I'm pretty, the thing is for what I, for what I have down below, it's actually probably bigger than what people will expect that I have. So it looks bigger than it probably really is. But you tell her that. She's asking me this.

Yes, I did. And I thought after, I said, again, I just get lulled into it. It's like you said, it's always like I get mind fucked. It was just because she wanted to know, like, what, what I took out of, the experiences that sort of stayed in my memory. Like it was all, I've never had really a bad experience with them. I had one that wasn't very good. But besides that,

I've had really good experiences. But the one thing they always commented on was that I was very big or at least bigger than they thought I would be in. So now she knows you have a big dick that you like to cheat on your, like, I mean, she could be getting horny for you. And I'm fucking idiot because I just go through it. And I think after like,

fuck, I shouldn't have said that. But let me just throw something else out here. And this is like, this is, if I would say percentages, it's 80% she's trying to bang you, 20% what I'm going to, this scenario I'm going to tell you now.

Okay, let's say 75% she's trying to bang you. 5% were totally wrong and she's not trying to and she's just doing her job and trying to like figure things out for you and help you sort of clear things up in your mind. And then 15% is this scenario. And I feel this way for some of my guy friends that go to therapists and then they come back and they tell me like their therapist wants them. And I'm like, you are just,

reading into things because that's like what you want. It's like a projection. You're projecting your feelings onto her. Do you know what I mean? And so you're reading into all this stuff and sort of seeing it in a way. Like you say that she just says to you what about the experiences was interesting to her, what stood out? And you said, oh, the fact that I have a bigger dick than they think. But what you said before that was like, yeah, she asked him.

me she's asking me these crazy questions but she didn't really ask you how big your dick is right like that exactly yeah she said she said that so that could just be that could be listen if you're a therapist and you're just trying to figure out what about a thing is making someone go back and what about like you know it's something you're addicted to you know to to find to find out what it is that in your mind that stands out about those experiences right or makes you feel you know is a part of maybe what she needs to find out do you know what I mean Yet maybe if you're projecting your own feelings onto her because you want her to like you or you want that scenario to be because you feel so trustworthy because it's a very there's a thing. What's the fucking name of it now?

I don't know why I can't remember the name. You know, when you fall in love with your therapist, like it happens all the time. It's a what is that? Transference, right? Okay. Yeah. Transference. And that it happens and like therapists, a good therapist will work through it with somebody.

But that that is a very common thing that happens. you know and so like because i had a friend who'd always be like oh my therapist fucking wants me and i'm like yeah but that you're a narcissist and she knows you're a fucking narcissist and she knows that their narcissist will only like people that fucking love them so of course she has to act like she loves you because that's her only way of getting you to open up and feel comfortable so she's probably just really fucking smart but he thinks she wants to fuck she wants to fuck him do you know what i mean and then i have another friend who's going to therapist and he's just like oh she laughs so much at all my jokes

And I'm like, yeah, because she wants you to feel comfortable. You know what I mean? So like, I don't know. Like, is that the same thing going on here? Is she sort of letting you feel like, is she trying to give you confidence, make you feel like good about yourself, trying to point out positive things? Like, I don't know. Yeah, that's. I don't know.

Yeah, that's, no, that's what I, originally that's what I thought. I said it's probably all in my mind. I don't, I don't really think she, but it's just. But then these other. What about the house? Yeah, I know. And, you know, like I told her to, like, a few months ago, I started to, not that I couldn't, but I was, what I used to do was when I tried, when I get the itch, I'd watch porn and I jack. Try to get it out of my system.

I get it out of my system, so I wouldn't go out and do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I started to, I mean, I'm 45 now, and it's a little bit harder for me to buy myself to get up and get ready to go and to do it in a quick time where I don't get caught by anybody. Yeah. So I said, what I did was I went and did. some research and I remember a few years ago I saw I read an interview with Peter Norworth and he was talking about this cocktail of supplements he takes that helps him has those big fucking shots at the end of his scenes but he wouldn't give it up so I did some research and I found a list of things

you could take natural supplements you could take that would help get you going again so I started experimenting to see what would work better with me and sure enough once I found the right combination for me I started to when I would pull out for my wife I would shoot across the bed into her face. It was just by accident. It was, but it was, I mean, it really, really worked. I was, I was, I think you might have to give the cocktail out to my listeners. I think you could do that on the next one. Yeah. So go on. Anyway, so I tell her about this and the thing that's happened though I've noticed because I started that maybe in January, just trying to mix and match and see what it worked. So the only problem

is the side effect is it's making me super fucking horny and I can't. What I had before has been amplified by like 50% now. Right. And it's, I dropped one of my daughter's friends off at her mother's place and her mother's really nice looking and I'm just thinking, fuck, I'd like to get into that. And I'm like, not that I never thought that before, but it's like, now it feels like you, you would, you won't stop. Like you, you, you will actually cross the line and do it. It's almost, and I told her, I said, it's almost like I've gone back to when I was like 15 or 17 years old and I was so hard, even though I did resist back then.

it's really, really hard for me now. And I don't know. It's a good feeling in a way because normally by this age, from everything I've heard and read, people start slowing down. But it seems like I'm ramping up more and more. And it's like almost like the wind blows the wrong way. And I'm ready to go.

Yeah, well, maybe a part of it is because that therapist is like pushing you in that direct. It could be. And, you know, like talking about all that sex stuff, all the time. Like, you know,

that's what you're really sort of discussing a lot. And right? I mean, you go to her once a week? Every other week. Every other week. Okay. Yeah.

And so those are the standout things that she has she done anything else that you can remember that you think might be inappropriate? No, that's it. And it's just, it's one of those things where it started off, well, started off normally. And then it sort of not crossed the line, but I felt so comfortable that I didn't think twice about telling her everything. And in a way, it really felt good because it was nice to talk to somebody that. Well, listen, that's your job to make you feel comfortable. comfortable enough to tell her. So that's good.

That has nothing to do with her. That has to do with you. And that is good that you feel comfortable with your therapist to really open up and tell her stuff. And then, you know, maybe her telling you're, I don't know. I just think it was like weird when she said like you weren't wrong. Like you shouldn't feel bad about it. I don't know. That's what I was going to say.

Like it was kind of nice in a way to kind of hear like somebody not or just coming out and judging you saying you shouldn't do this. you should never do this, you should never do it again, you were wrong to do it. It was she understood and maybe that was part of why I felt so comfortable with her. Right. So maybe that was a good thing. Like maybe a therapist, that's what you should. Like, you know, like, you know, I don't know. I think it was wrong in the situation because you just, the fact is that you don't feel,

you did feel bad about it. Like that's just who you are. Like that's just, you know what I mean? Like, I don't know. But maybe I'm wrong. Like maybe the right therapist is to tell you not to feel bad about that. I don't know. You know what I mean?

She kind of thinks it's okay for you to see escorts. Yep, that's it. And that's what I was going to say. Like, because of that now, I'm starting in my head. Like, maybe I should, it's been a little over two years since I've done it. And it's, I'm really, especially now, I've got a week to myself and I've got two or three different things that I could go to. And no one would be the wiser. And what did your therapist tell you about that when you showed her about the stuff, you know, the action that you could have set up?

What did she say about it? All she said was. I should do what makes me happy. That was it. No more, no less. Do what makes you happy. That's a weird thing to say, too, as a therapist. I mean, I mean, it's normally a lot deeper than that.

Do what makes you happy. I mean, you know. Like I said, I showed her, there was a couple things, and I'd actually texted a couple of these people just to, and I showed her the text. I said, this is what, and it's not, I don't, it's not like I go into big detail, but it's just sort of, and when I did it before,

I sort of get a feeling. Like, the first few times I went to see it. escort. It was not an agency, but it was like I told you, but the last time it was set up in like a motel and there was girls working there. It was a schedule. But as I, the internet, it's really, really good and it's really, really bad because it's opened my eyes to there, there's escorts everywhere. And where I live, I live a good hour and a quarter away from the next big city. And I never would have thought that only 20 minutes from me, there would be somebody doing this. And it's much easier to find now. The only problem is, it's too easy now. And it's one of the, it's one of the

those things. I haven't done it in so long and it's almost like I'm really itching and it's hard not to scratch the itch right now. It's really, really hard. And with her not coming back for another five or six days, I don't know if I can hold out. Right. And you haven't done it in how long?

It's been a little over two years now. Right. And now is there, like, is there anything else going on or is it just strictly that your wife isn't here and it's sort of available that like that would be making you sort of want to act out and do something. thing? Like, is there? Not really, but the, the funny thing was, too, before she left, I just

joked around with my wife and I just said, because she knows that I'm like hyper fucking sexual. Yeah. I just said, as a joke, I said, well, what am I going to do for pussy while you're gone? And I said, I don't know if I can make it a week without you. And she said, why don't you call one of your numbers? She said? And that kind of, yeah, and it kind of floored me because I'm like, how do I react to that? Yeah. And what she said? I, nothing. She just has all, you just, you just, do what you have to do when I'm gone. So you think maybe she knows that you fuck asked her? I don't know because back when this all came out, when I found before, I should say, when

she was actually doing it and I was suspicious, she was friends with the guy's wife. And when his wife would come over, I couldn't stand her so I'd get out of town. I'd just go for a drive. But I never did anything at that time. But I was getting, anyway, she had said something along the lines of wife. why don't you go see one of your friends? And it was a joke, but I thought after, she thought I was cheating on her, like, at that time. And I hadn't yet because I didn't really know that that was what was the way going on.

I was honestly just getting out of them. Maybe she was, you know, that was a projection on her part because she was cheating on you. She just assumed you were cheating on her, you know what I mean? But I don't know if she knows, but I'm kind of wondering if she maybe thinks, because she did tell me, we had that one time where we went together, we saw an escort on our first anniversary after we were married. And she had said that she didn't, she didn't really see a problem with it because it was just sex. There was no emotion involved. And it stuck with me.

That's what you need to work on. This is what you need to do. I mean, you are in an open conversation with your wife about having, you know, sex with other people in your relationship. The only problem that's standing in your way is her weight, right? You've had a conversation. You fooled around with an escort with her once before. She's told you straight to your face that she sees it as different. So you need to get permission from your wife to do this.

And I do believe that you can get that permission. Yeah, I was actually thinking about that because I think if I could do it maybe once every two or three months, just one time, maybe four times a year. Yeah. Get it out of my system. I don't have to hide it. Yeah. Wouldn't that be great? Oh, fuck.

It would be so good. I think she's fucking down. And I think that's where all of this sexual energy needs to be put. And you have a very good chance of being able to, you know, have your cake and eat it too within your relationship without losing everything, without feeling bad about yourself. And, you know, and that is going to be the top of the fucking mountain, right? That's what everybody sort of wants. And I think there's a good chance that you could have that with your wife, considering everything

that you say. And I think that that's the best way for you to go than to be like, you know, three months down the line, fucking your therapist or with these stupid escorts. It's just not you. I think the open relationship with your wife that you love that you still have good sex with is the way to go and put the escorts in there.

And then you have everything that you want. And that's what I hope for you at the end of this year. I hope I get an update three months from now. Okay, I want to know what the fuck's going on. You got to keep me posted when there is a black and I need a definite because I need to know what's going on with

the service. Like I said, there's a I'm split. I'm torn. I don't know what it is. Yeah. I'm curious what my listeners think. They'll write in, you know, but let me know when she gets back

if you go to her house, what starts to go down with that. Keep me posted. And like I said, before you do anything with her, if you feel like it's getting close, please call in. Let's have our own little

unprofessional therapy session before you go in with the big dog therapist that's going to fucking mind manipulative. I'll try and help you, okay? Okay. All right?

I don't know if that's good. Like people might be like, Why cock block him to fucking 20-year-old? But I'm the same way. I'm really, really, really confused. I don't know, like I said, like exactly what you said, I kind of can see it from both angles, and I don't know which way to go.

And I'm very tempted to just see how it plays out, but I don't know where I can stop it if it starts to go a certain way. I think that somebody that's like a therapist that's trying to do that is kind of messed up. And I think that I don't think it's a good place to go. I just don't. I really don't.

I think you should stay away from that shit. I don't care how. hot she is. You could fuck a real girl that's 28 with your wife. I just think if that girl is really doing that as she something's wrong with her because I think that's really inappropriate. And so I think you should steer clear of that shit. Because she could be a psychopath. Okay. And you don't know what she does when she has your in her grips. Right. If she fucks you and you say, I don't want to do this anymore. I feel guilty. Then she could like, you don't know what goes on with someone that's like, because if someone is doing that and they're literally risking their career for that, they're not.

mentally unstable and you can't trust a mentally unstable woman or man, okay? You don't know what the fuck happens after that happens. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. I mean, there's, you see, watch Dateline. There's been therapists that have gotten their patients to kill people for them because they get in there, you know, so if that's what she's doing and she's trying, you don't want to be a part of that because that means she's fucking cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.

And she could wind up at your door telling your wife, I'm just telling you, if that's what's going on. I wouldn't, I wouldn't go there. Does it be a whole bag of trouble? It's actually funny. You mentioned that because I'm addicted to like Dateline or the investigation discovery channel and I watch all those shows and it's like, fuck, I don't want to end up on that show. I know. I'm waiting for one of my callers to wind up on that show.

But I don't think it. It's not going to be you dead. Don, I want you to be just having that open, fun relationship with your wife. I think you're a clean cut guy and that's where you guys, that's where the people that are the most successful, it's people like you that take part in that. kind of a thing and it's a healthy part of a long-term marriage and I've seen it work before for guys like you very monogamous guys that have no problem being monogamous but want that it's trust me it's for you and it's going to happen so keep me posted good lock and like I said if you're getting close to fucking that girl call me ASAP I have you back on no matter anytime

you want to be on okay all right all right thanks so much for calling in again it was a good story all right thank you all right bye don bye bye Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available not only in paperback and e-book, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story.

There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang being girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person, and they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person. And I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like Penthouse letters.

It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe. right, but these are true stories. 17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read one or two and then skip around.

You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format, and finally, the audio book is available coming out August 25th, but you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. my Discord does not disappoint, okay? There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me, okay?

I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other, and that's what you get to do there. You could post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total, strictly anonymous community, and you will love it.

I will be giving anyone who buys my book access. to my Discord. It's private, like I said. All you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook, or the paperback. Send it to me at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. That's strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. And I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in. This is the Strictly Anonymous podcast. Do you have a story, lifestyle, or situation you can't talk about to anyone, to anyone? Or do you just want to let your freak flag fly?

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