Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 243 -Jake Massively Cheated on his Wife and Now he's Worried he'll Always Cheat

Episode Date: August 5, 2018

Jake massively cheated on his wife for many,many years until they eventually got divorced and now he doesn't know if he'll ever be able to not cheat on the new woman he recently started dating. When and why did he start cheating on his wife? Who did he cheat on her with and where did he meet all the women? Did she ever find out? Tune in to find out and hear all about his naughty hook-ups with strippers (right in the strip club), all the sex he had (in hotels and cars) with all the married women on Ashley Madison, why he's worried that he'll cheat on his current girlfriend and a whole lot more. **To see anonymous pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You're listening to Strictly Anonymous on the Riotcast network, riotcast.com. Do you have a story, lifestyle, or situation you can't talk about to anyone, to anyone? Or do you just want to let your freak flag fly and be on the show? Well, Strictly Anonymous wants to hear from you. Send us an email, Strictly Anonymous podcast at gmail.com, with your story and your anonymous name. Remember, everything is strictly anonymous. Strictly Anonymous. Hey, welcome to Strictly Anonymous Podcast with Kathy.

If you want to follow a strictly anonymous podcast on Twitter, follow the show at Strict Anonymous, me at Cartoon Therapy. If you haven't subscribed to my show, subscribe to my show wherever you listen to it. If you want to be on the show, this is a call-in-vice show where I give total strangers, my unprofessional advice. You can be on the show. I'm always looking for people to call in. I like to talk to people who have interesting lives, secret lives. I love to help people with their problems. So if, like I said, you want some unprofessional advice, you could call in.

It's like a good unprofessional therapy session. I talk to you for about an hour. And I'll change your voice and change your name and nobody will know who you are. Not even me. So if you want to be on the show, either go to my website, strictly anonymouspodcast. com and click on Be on the Show or send me an email at Strictly Anonymous Podcast. at gmail.com. Today I have on a guy named Jake.

Right. Jake, yeah. I have so many people calling it and I forget their names because they're all fake names, right? Jake is a guy who called him because he had two things he wanted to talk about. One was the fact that he was like probably he thought maybe a sex addict during his bad marriage because he cheated on her a lot and we talk all about that. He cheated on her with strippers and people at work and lots of married women off of Ashley Madison. This guy got a lot of I mean he was a married guy and he fucked a lot of married women. And I was kind of like, how did you do? Like, what's your game? Like, he's got game or something. I don't know, because this guy got a lot of tail while he was married. Then eventually that ended.

And his other thing was, like, he's dating somebody now who he likes. And he doesn't know if he could not cheat on her. It's kind of like Pandora's Box kind of thing. Does that make sense? Do you know what I mean? Like, now, once a cheater, oh, he's a cheater, I don't know. Because he really likes his girl, but he kind of still has that sort of desire to be with. a variety of women because that's what he had for so long.

And we discuss that. And that's the deal. I think he's like a lot of guys. I think he's like a lot of guys before he was married after he got divorced. Or not really, no, he's not like a lot of guys. Well, the weird thing was that he was like really monogamous for a really long time. And then once he sort of cheated, it's like he can't stop. So that's what we discuss.

So anyway, I think that's really it, right? I'm terrible at these intros. I don't know that anyone really listens to them. They probably fast forward to the caller, but I'll be right back on with Jake. Do you have a story, lifestyle, or situation you can't talk about to anyone, to anyone? Or do you just want to let your freak flag fly and be on the show? Well, Strictly Anonymous wants to hear from you. Send us an email, Strictly Anonymous podcast at gmail.com,

with your story and your anonymous name. And remember, everything. is strictly anonymous. Hey Jake, welcome to the strictly anonymous podcast. I don't think I've ever had a Jake. I like that name. It's a good guy name. It's your anonymous name because you, I don't know,

you have like two things going on because at first you were kind of like, like what I got from your email and all you told me was like, you were married, I think, to a stripper, right? Like that's, you were married to a stripper for a while? I was not married to a stripper. Oh, you were cheating on your,

wife with a stripper? Yeah. There was a stripper involved. This is, I'm just going to say the brief overview and then you're going to, then I'm going to ask you specific information. Okay, so you were married, you were cheating, right? And a lot of people thought, and it started, maybe it's, that's what happened and started with the stripper and then you just became like a crazy manhor and people

who like thought you were like a sex addict. That led to a divorce or whatever happened there. I'll find out whether that's what, whether she caught you, how you got divorced. But eventually you got divorced. And now you happen to be with a woman who has a higher sex drive than you. So maybe you're no longer the quote unquote sex addict and she is. I don't know. I don't know what's going on there.

But that's kind of like the gist of what you told me, right? Right. That's the basics. Basically, I was married for about six or seven years. And that's when things started to fall apart for me with the marriage. In the beginning? Well, how long? When did it start falling apart?

Like right away? After about the six or seven years. Oh, after six or seven years. Okay, cool. That's when things started to fall apart. We never seemed to have time for each other, and we were just arguing constantly, and it was about that time that I became friends with a female co-worker who happened to be very hot, younger, sexy girl, and we just became good friends, and nothing sexual ever happened.

Right. but I was accused of it many times. Well, maybe from who, from your wife or from other people in the office? From my wife and coworkers. Well, first of all, how did your wife know that you were like getting close to this girl? Like if you're at work? Like when you go home and tell her about this girl? Like she's your friend and like you would be talking about a guy friend to her.

Like, I mean, how did she know? I had told my wife about her saying I've become friend with this. this woman and I think we should all hang out. She'd be a good friend for us to hang out with sometime. And that was it. That was the beginning. At first it was okay, but... Then she saw her.

Then my co-worker started to talk about her, me and her. And the story started to get back to my wife. Right. So the arguments started from there. We were too friendly. Because you probably were on some. level, right? Because why would these people be talking about it? You know what I mean? Right? We were very friendly. We talked all the time. But my thought was this is a woman that's

probably 10 years younger than me, maybe more. And I've never really considered myself to be good looking and she is gorgeous and what would she want to do with me? Right. So I always just assumed that we were friends and that was it. And that's when the arguing began and to the point where we were in marriage counseling for this. But obviously, but listen,

you said, like before you started getting close to this girl, right? I mean, there were like problems between you and her that you probably should have been in marriage counseling anyway, right? It wasn't like because of the girl you went in. And what do you think? I mean, because they say there's like a seven-year itch, right? But like what do you

think it was? Like, how old were you? How old were you when you married your wife and how old were you six or seven years into it when things started to go you know downhill um i i got married uh 24 yeah that's super young yeah um and then there it was 31 32 around that time that uh this started to to go down yeah that kind of makes sense because like in your 20s you're like 50 different people and then when you're 30 you could be a completely different person you were than you were 24 right and you might not get along or like have anything in common or like be on the same path you know not not having anything in common um not being good friends first i think hurt us

well listen i think that sometimes and listen i think the base like being friends is really important in a relationship because after a really long time right the sex isn't like oh as mind-blowing as the beginning but like if you have like a solid friendship between each other right that you want to be with each other all the time because you like them genuinely then everything else is like icing on the cake right and you have it right but if you don't

and I think friendship could come in time if you're you know the longer you spend with somebody but if you're not friends and you don't develop that after five or six years it's just like maybe there's just not a compatibility thing there you know if this is someone you wouldn't be friends

with then how could you sort of be in a relationship with them, right? Agreed. And that happens all the time, by the way, right? Because sex and all these other things that come into play, you know, and a lot

of times a lot of people in their 20s get married, you know, and they're just drinking a lot when, you know, and so they don't even really know what the fuck is going on. Do I mean? Like, let me get a little older and like, who are you? We don't even get along. But anyway, I don't know why I'm digressing. So you, you're

at the point where you guys are marriage counseling, right? And, you're You're flirting with that girl. Nothing winds up happening with that girl at work, right? No. But then what eventually winds up happening? We were good friends and we would hang out outside of work. Like, we were at the gym together.

You and the girl? Yes. And your wife knew about you going to the gym with her? Yeah, she wasn't happy about that. Yeah, of course. She wouldn't go to the gym with you? No, she was working. Oh, okay.

So you would go when she's working. Okay. And so it just led to a lot of fighting on top of a relationship that wasn't that great to begin with. And nothing ever happened with the two of us, with my work friend. Yeah. We just remained friends and that was it. The counseling never seemed to help us. In fact, my ex-wife ended up telling off the counselor at one point.

Why? Because it wasn't working or just because of something she said? She felt that the counselor was picking my side. Right. Okay. So not much really happened. And eventually I'm sleeping on the couch. I'm just not happy. I don't look forward to going home at night at the end of my workday, dreading going home. And it was at the point where I, I don't. I think the only reason we were staying together was because we had kids together.

How many kids? It complicates things. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, totally. Mm-hmm. I think it makes it a lot harder to leave because you're not thinking about yourself. You're thinking about, like, what it'll do to your children, right? Absolutely.

My biggest fear was that if I was to leave, I would be trading in my kids' happiness for my happiness. Yeah, totally. I think that that's what most people think. Mm-hmm. I just thought I could be miserable for... the rest of my life and stick with it. Some people do, because a lot of people do. That's the truth, right?

Absolutely. So fast forward some time. Yeah. And I'm at work and I'm sent out on the road. And I, my boss told me to, he asked me to go take care of some work on the road. And he said that he would do it. But every time he goes out and ends up costing his, costing him money. because there was a strip club right down the road.

Oh. Of where you were going, where he was sending you. So, yeah, that's where he's sending me. So I thought, all right, if my boss is doing it, I can too. So I went, took care of business, and then I stopped in a strip club for a pier. And I enjoyed the attention that I was getting from the dancers in there. Right. They would talk with me for a while, and I just enjoyed it.

Not to mention, I mean, the lot of dancers were sets as hell. but the attention that I was getting from them was a big part of it. I think that's a lot. Yeah, for sure. I think that's, I think, first of all, they know that, and that's why they, you know, and I think a lot of guys, it's about that as well, you know. Yep. So that became a habit of mine.

What, going, like on these trips for work and then going to strip clubs, or did you start going to start going to all kinds of strip clubs, even by where you lived? It started out with whenever I was going out on the road for work that I would stop in. And then further down the road, I would just, I would start thinking about going to these strip clubs. And I would end up going on my own, on my own time. Right. So it almost became like an addiction.

That's what starts thinking about that and end up there. And nothing really ever happens with that until one day I was in there. there's this beautiful dancer working. We started talking afterwards. We started talking about the gym and she has beautiful muscle definition. She was hot. We end up going to get a lap dance and that's when she pulled my clock out. And I thought, this is different.

I wasn't expecting that. Were you like in a back room or were you just like in front room? We were just in a corner of the club. So we could be seen by anyone that walked by. but no one happened to be walking by at the time. Right. Okay. And this dancer starts blowing me, and then she fucked me right there in the club.

Oh, my God. Is this like something that goes down a lot in strip clothes? I don't even know. This has never happened to me before. Right. I was pretty shocked. I was incredibly turned on. It was pretty amazing.

No condom, I'm assuming. Did she strap on a condom? No, I did not. Interesting. It's, yeah, and I freaked out about that afterwards. I can imagine, well, because you got to think how many other people does she fuck? I mean, she probably does, he fucks a lot of people with a con. You know what I mean?

Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. Right. Okay, so anyway, so she literally, within the first five minutes of meeting, she brings you in the back, not even like in a back room, she takes your caga, starts blowing you, and then fucks you. And literally, right in the strip club in front of everybody, even though nobody's looking. Exactly. Exactly. It's in a dark corner. No one's around. And then she's going to town on me. And that, we, we didn't end up finishing. The DJ ended up calling her name to the stage and that was it.

Oh, my God. Okay. And I left there and I was, one, I was incredibly turned on by it. But then again, I was, I was freaking out because I just fucked this striper with. out a condo on me. Yeah. Who knows what I may have picked up. Um, and, and that's when I, I started learning about anonymous testing sites. Right. You can find anything online. So I, I got myself tested right after that and I was clean, thank God. But that, that, that sort of sparked something in me. Um, what do you mean? Like, it's, oh, meaning sparked like the whole, like, now you're going to go to fuck other people thing. Exactly. I was thinking about it all the time. And, and, And I ended up back at the strip club with a different dancer another time.

But this time I had an idea of what went on the last time. So I thought maybe this is going to happen again. Yeah. And a different dancer invites me into the back room for money this time. So I go back there and I was so nervous that I couldn't even get hard. That's all that happened. It was kind of eye-opening for me. How much you pay to go in the back there?

I want to say it was like $200. Okay. And so you couldn't even get hard, but she was like down to do something? Absolutely. Okay. Yeah, she was willing to have sex for money. Mm-hmm. And that's when I realized what was going on at that place.

But the nerves would get to me and I couldn't do anything about it. But that led into me thinking about other women quite a bit. and I would look on Craigslist and see all the ads over there, but I was too nervous that it would be like a setup operation and I would get arrested and my life would be over if something like that happens. Right, you were thinking a lot about it. You were more someone that would think things through and be like a little freaked out. I'd be a little bit more like that if I was a guy too.

Like I think more into things, you know. I think some people don't have that and they just like have the feeling they go for it, you know. But some people I think things through a lot. and so it stops them from doing things. I don't know, which is, I don't know that it's right or wrong either way. It's just different kinds of brains, you know? Mm-hmm. No, I was, I was too afraid to go forward with anything off of Craigslist.

Right. I was afraid of something bad happening, getting arrested, anything like that. Mm-hmm. I didn't know what I would be getting into. So instead of Craigslist, that's what I moved on to actually Madison. Right. And that's a whole different ballgame there and started talking with a lot of women and ended up meeting up with several of them. Really?

Now, were they all married people? I'm like, on Ashley Madison, I don't know how it works. Like, obviously no one has their pictures on there right away, right? Because you're not going to put your face shot, right? Like, how does it work that you're not, like, afraid that, you know, you're going to meet up with your friend's wife or something? I don't know. You know what I mean? Even in that situation.

You don't know. Right. There are pictures, but you can censor the pictures a bit, so you can't see faces. Right. But you can get a good image of the person's body and go forward from there. Then once you talk with them a bit, you can share your actual uncensored photos. Right. And so you went on there saying, and you were straight up like you're a married guy looking.

What were you looking for? I didn't know. And I put that on there. I don't know what I want to do. married guy and started talking with married women at that point. Right.

Were most of them in your area? I mean, I would look for women all over the state. Uh-huh. But the ones that I would try to talk to were in my area. Okay, cool. And so how did your first meeting go down? I was talking with

two women and turns out afterwards they knew each other they had they had both discussed their their Ashley Madison accounts and going on to Ashley Madison prior to all of this happening hilarious and were they married they were married they were both married unhappy with their marriages okay um and so I started talking with one woman had a decent body wasn't all that attractive and then I started talking to a second woman which she was she was gorgeous And I was making plans to meet up with the second woman when she said that I should meet the first woman first. So the hot one tells you to meet the one with the nice body, but the busted face first.

Yes. Okay. So I didn't know what she was planning. She ended up telling me that they knew each other. And she told me you take her out first. So I ended up meeting the first woman. We ended up having a few drinks and went off to a hotel room. and spent the afternoon together in the hotel,

fucking each other's brains out. And how great was it? And it was, the nerves went away pretty quick and it was pretty cool. And afterwards, I was talking with the second woman and told her what was going on, and she was kind of horrified that we hooked up at home we went out.

Why? I mean, isn't that what it's all about, Ashley Madison? That's, that's, she, she wanted me to, uh, to just take her out, have a few drinks and that was it. First of all, what, what was she her mother? Like, I mean, what the hell did she have in this game? Like, what was this going on? I don't understand. I don't, I didn't really understand it either.

But she was a little bit surprised with what happened. But we ended up meeting up as well, a week or two down the road. And we hooked up as well. The first night, the first time, the minute you met? we she actually she ended up uh she worked right down the road from me yeah so she she stops by my office one day when i was outside the building she stopped in and we talked for a few minutes and then she was on her way to work um and so then when we met up the second time we knew what we wanted and we went straight to the hotel room and hooked up okay and how was that with her amazing and now the first one did you

like want to do repeats with her like did you continue to see her after that first time it was like one It was just one time with her, but the second chick, I would see her for off and on for several months to a year, I'd say. We would meet up whenever we could. And it was totally like, did she live close by to where you lived? She didn't live that close, but she weren't real close to me. So she was in the area quite a bit. And so where would all the sex take place, like in hotels? It would start off at hotels and then it ended up in, well, we'd have car sex.

I love the cheating car sex. I don't know why I just do. I think it's hilarious. And then she would show up to my office after hours and we would hook up in my office when no one else was in the building. And was she like around your same age? She was. She was.

And she was married and had some, like, would you guys like, I mean, I'm assuming if you saw her for about a year. Like you guys developed like a friendship too, right? And like you guys would do a lot of talking as well besides sex? We We would talk through emails so we wouldn't get caught and I was very afraid

of that. But we would talk and when we would see each other, we didn't waste much time. We usually got into it pretty quick. Okay, and you just had sex and then you guys would end it and then go back a little while after. And now during this whole time, are you still going to therapy?

Or is that done at this point? That was done at that point. Okay. And you're still with your wife, though, right? I am. Still married, still at home, miserable, sleeping on the couch. Right. And, like, let me ask you this, considering things were so bad at home,

after the first time, I'm assuming, I guess it would be the stripper, right? Like, did you feel any kind of, like, guilt, like, oh, my God? Or were you, like, way past that because things were so bad? with your wife at this point and you had tried everything and had been so long. I did feel guilty. But at the same time, I was so miserable. Yeah. That I just tried to push it out of my head.

Right. And then the itch came back and then you went and did it again. And I'm sure like the guilt sort of went away the more you did it. Is that correct? Yes. Yeah, the guilt would slowly go away. I would still have it occasionally. But, and.

it wasn't so much that I felt like I was cheating on my wife, but I felt like I was cheating on my kids, if that makes any sense. Yeah, uh-huh. Because it's like you're a family, right? It's not just like your wife is and your kids. It's like you're a whole unit, right? So if you're like sort of straying, you're like the weak link, right?

You're doing it almost to everyone, right? Someone could look at it that way. I think some people could not look at that way, but that's the way you were looking at it. And I totally get that. And this went on for, I don't know how long this went on, but the itch was always there. I was always thinking about it to the point where the woman from Ashley Madison wasn't enough. Right.

You wanted, you needed somebody new. Was it more about like, oh, now you want variety? It was like that kind of a thing? Since you're having it. I don't know what I wanted. I just wanted more. All right. Okay.

And it so happens that I was. had been talking with a person online that I had known for years. And at some point, she told me her address of her apartment, and I ended up at her place and went straight to her bedroom, and that started another fling for a couple of years. And this whole time, after the six or seven years of not being happy with your wife, you still stay with her for a couple of years? You're just cheating the whole time? I am.

And you're sleeping on the couch the whole time? Yes. Interesting. I wonder, like, I don't know the end of this story about, like, why you guys to get divorced, but, like, do you find out she's cheating on you? Does she find out you're cheating on her? Like, I mean, does anyone, like, because, I mean, no one's having sex for all those years. Like, I mean, what do you think she was doing?

I don't know. I don't think she was cheating on me. Uh-huh. But who knows? Right. Did she ever find out you were? She ended up stumbling across an email or a text message from the latest woman that I was fooling around with.

but it didn't really say much. Right, there was no definitive proof. Like it wasn't definite what was written. No, it wasn't. And she found it. She told me about it. And I just said that we had floated online and that was about it. But let me ask you this.

In all these years that you're sleeping on the couch and you and your wife have problems, you're not going to therapy anymore, but you're just sort of like coexisting in a house, obviously for the kids, whatever. But you guys aren't getting along. Are you guys having sex at all or zero? Not much. What is not much? Like once or twice a month or like three times a year?

Maybe twice a month, once a month. Okay. Once a month, once every two months, it wasn't much. Right. And this had gone on. This was going on before I was fooling around with other women. I would, I had been denied sex so many times that I stopped trying. Right.

I just think to myself, like, how long do you think a guy could go without having sex? Do you know what I mean? I had a girlfriend once that used it as an ultimatum. Well, there was two, one that used it as an ultimatum to get a ring and that didn't work and it was the end of the relationship. And another girl who just stopped having sex.

And the guy never cheated. And I think that's why she was like bold enough to do it. But I was kind of like if you cheated, like I don't think it would be your fault. You know what I mean? Even if you did. Because like if someone says like, I'm just not having sex with you

and there is none at all. What do you think a guy or a woman is supposed to do? And because you guys are super young, you know what I mean? She's like in her 30s. Maybe because she's a mom. I don't know. Like why wouldn't you think she was out? Look at all those girls you were fucking from Ashley Madison.

They were kind of in her boat, right? She's like, you know, like them. She's in a marriage with a guy that she's not really happy with either, right? He's sleeping on the couch. How do you know she wasn't doing the same thing? And if she was, like, wouldn't you understand, kind of? I think I would have understood. I never saw anything that made me suspicious.

Right. But maybe I'm just clueless. I don't know. Who knows, right? That doesn't matter. I'm just saying you just never know, right? I mean, when there's the, my whole point is like when sex is completely taken out of a relationship, right?

I think, like, the word cheating and an affair, like all those things, are very different than if like a couple is like everything's like really fucking great and then the guy's like you know fucking people behind the back like it's a different story you know once it's the sex is taken out and people are sleeping in different places it's kind of like you're not together do you know what I mean so it's like like I mean you would have you were someone that was monogamous for a really long time right things have to get really really bad before you really things right things got bad to the point where I I stopped trying because I had I had been shot down so many times that I just didn't feel.

I feel that way anymore. So I stopped trying to be sexual with her. Uh-huh. And that's when I start hooking up with all these other women and the need was growing and growing to the point where that's all I think about. Right. Mm-hmm. And so you, so far, we were.

the point where you had two women that you were fooling around with a lot, like the one hot girl from Ashley Madison. Then you met another one and you were having sex, a lot of sex with her too, right? Right. And now you said in the email that like a lot of your friends thought you were a sex addict. So obviously you were sharing this information with somebody, right? At this, at this point, no one knew anything. Okay.

I was keeping that to myself. And so no one knew it was the double life. Right. But that's when I started to get a bit sloppy covering my tracks and hooked up with a lot more women. Where were you finding all the women? Was it strictly Ashley Madison? No, it wasn't. It ended up there was a former girlfriend of mine from high school.

We had been talking and we hooked up a few times. there was a co-worker's wife that I talked to occasionally. How did you meet her? And you were friends with your co-worker? We weren't close friends by any means, but outside of work. I don't know if, I believe it was somebody's wedding that we were all invited to. And I had met her before, but it was one of those nights that were all hanging out drinking. I think it was a wedding.

and we were very flirty towards each other. Right. And that continued into Facebook messaging and to the point where... Who was the first person that reached out in that situation? I don't remember. In the Facebook ad, like it. I don't know. Interesting.

Okay. I think we just stopped talking and become more and more flirty with each other. Right. So you eventually had sex with her too? I did. Okay. There was another co-worker that I hooked up with down the road, and rumors began flying about us because they saw us hanging out talking together. Right.

People talk. Even that girl probably told someone. Yeah. Who knows? The coworkers would see us, and the rumors would start flying. Mm-hmm. And the final one, which was when I started to realize that I had to do something with my life. I was at a bar one night with some friends, and there were some friends of theirs that were together as well.

And one of them happened to be a beautiful woman who was in town for a weekend. And eventually we started talking me and her. and I don't know how the conversation started, but we both realized that we're both miserable in her marriages. Right. And she texted me later that night and asked if I wanted to look up with her. And she was very open about that. She was staying with a mutual friend.

So I ended up showing up at the mutual friend's house to pick her up. We drive off, hook up, and I drop her off. And that's when people really started talking about me. Everyone knew about that. They knew that she had left the friend's house. They saw my truck out there. Right. Oh, God.

So that's when things really went down. Right. Let me ask you this. Like, what was your move? I mean, are you like, on a scale of one to ten, what are you? Are you like a super hot guy that you're getting all these girls? Or did you just have good game where you're like you just start talking about your miserable marriage and then you'd like miserable married women start flocking to you?

Like how are you getting all these chicks? I've never thought that I was really attractive. Right. What would you rate your scale? What would you rate yourself in a one to ten? I don't know, but I knew you were going to ask this question. So I asked the former girlfriend from high school the other day. I texted her.

What would you rate me yet? Yeah. And she said I was an eight. Okay, that's good. An eight is like more than, I think a seven is average. So an eight is good looking. But she did tell me that I lost some points because I was too flirty with women. No, I would say you gained some points.

You gained a lot of, I mean, that's probably how you get the girls. I mean, you get a lot, like you fucked a lot of girls and you were married. A lot of girls won't fuck a married guy. You know what I mean? That's a big turnoff to a lot of girls. Like, I don't know that, but I mean, these were all miserable married women, right? Like most of them were married, right? And they were unhappy.

So, you know, maybe. you just knew how to sniff out the women that were like most likely to say yeah but i i don't think i think that flirty thing that she said was a turn off to her was like probably the thing that was a turn on to all these other women i don't know what it is right because i mean you got you scored a lot like i said for being a married man like a lot of women wouldn't fuck a married guy right like because they're they want a relationship you know it was happening a lot and it was spinning out of control at this points. Yeah, you were kind of like lucky if you're looking to cheat because you were getting a lot of action. At this point, I realize, and this was talking with a few friends that

knew what was going on. They had heard the rumors. They knew of the, that chick going out with me that night, leaving her friend's house and things like that. And it's a good friend of vine who had actually gone through a divorce a year or two prior. He said, you have to realize how unhappy you are in your marriage, and you have to move forward with that, because I know what's going on with you, and you're not happy in marriage, and something has to be done, and that really hit home with me. Right. Like, you were using all these women, because, listen, that's what an addiction is, right?

It's really something that you use to avoid something that you're trying not to face, right? Like some sort of unpleasantness in your life, like really bad, something bad, you know, whatever that is. And for you, it was definitely the fact that your marriage was dead and you probably needed to do something about it. But you, you know, people fear change, you know, change, drastic change, like getting a divorce is hardcore, right? So I think the ultimate. Which is fucking denial is always You know people's go to and how do you deny something that's like so So so much a part of your life right? Like this is every day you walk into the house

You're just reminded about this big thing that you're not dealing with right? You check out right? And you checked out with other women That's what you were doing and your friend was completely right He was and what was cool was that like you know listen a lot of times people will tell you tell people these kind of things when they're in the middle of that and they'll be like, you don't know what you're talking about. Like, I just love chicks that I'm getting laid. You know, they could, but the fact that it rang true for you meant that you were ready to make your change or whatever.

You know what I mean? Because it was like the light bulb went off for you as well. Like I said, a lot of times people say that to people and it doesn't matter, you know, but you believed him. I did. It was at this point. my life that I was actually going to a therapist on my own. Uh-huh.

But I hadn't been completely honest with the therapist. So I didn't tell her about all the cheating that I had been doing. Oh, well, right. Did you tell about any of the cheating you were doing? It was after my friend told me that I had to start evaluating my life. And to be honest with my therapist, that I told her about it. Yeah. Okay.

And so that's what the therapist says, well, you are very unhappy. I think you need to have a discussion with your wife. You don't have to admit to the cheating if you don't want to. But you have to tell her that you are not happy and something has to change. And that's exactly what I did. That was the end of it right there. When you told her you weren't happy. Did you tell her you were cheating?

I did not. Okay, good. There's no need for that. I mean, it just hurtful. you know what I mean? It's like and it because it's not really the problem it's like a symptom of the problem right so like what would that do for this the situation nothing you know it would just make for a messier divorce more bitter feelings between the two of you right and if you're going to separate it's the best to do it in the cleanest way possible because you want to stay sort of friends right because you have kids together so there would be no reason to have to go into that I mean because like I said the problem wasn't that you were cheating the problem. problem was that you guys were in a dead end relationship. Exactly. And I didn't know if I was going to tell her about the cheating, but I wanted to tell her that I was unhappy and see what happened at that point.

Yeah. And did she say, oh, my God, I'm unhappy too, or did she say, like, what the fuck? Like, was she surprised? No, she told me to get out. She said, you're unhappy, then leave. That's what happens. See ya. Okay.

So you did? I did. I went up my own place. And that's when the crazy women started in my life. Oh, interesting. Why did you go back to the strip club? I didn't go back to the strip club. At this point, I have my own freedom and I can do what I want.

Yeah. There's a picture that I've seen online several times. And basically it says dating in your 40s is like going to the dump and picking out the least disgusting, least damage objects that you can. Oh, my God. And it's true. I've never seen that. Yeah. Oh, it's a good way.

Yeah. So at this point, by the time you got divorced, right? Because you started cheating. I mean, you guys were like, I'm just doing the timeline here, right? You're like in your 30s, mid-thirty, beginning, like early 30s when you start cheating. So you were stayed in that marriage and cheated for many, many years. I, right? Yeah, I'm guessing probably four or five years.

Right. You were doing that. Okay. Right. So by the time you get divorced, you're in your 40s. Now, did you have any? leftovers from like you know the women that you were dating like fucking with like fucking there's two that keep that keep popping back into my life um and and and i have hooked up with

one of them a few times since then this woman is is just happy to be single she doesn't want to be dating anyone but she loves to fuck right so there there was a few times where i ended up over her place and then other than that there's been a lot of online dating and one of the things that I would go online and I would start reading these profiles that women would set up and the things they would say would be things like if you're going to ask me out please have a job please have your own car things like this right I was shocked so I I have two jobs. I have a brand new car and I own a house.

Right. So you felt like you were, you could go, you were doing good. Things moved forward for me pretty, pretty easily from there, but there's a lot of crazy women on there as well. Well,

what was the age range that you were looking at? I believe they were mostly in their 30s. So then, right, okay, so then that whole thing that you were saying, dating in your 40s, I think that they mean like you're looking at people

your own age. because like why is it or you think that even when you're dating in your 40s even if you're dating the younger people you're still getting like the garbage kind of I mean um most of the women were I'd say mid 30s there was there was one that was a bit younger one was in her 40s but um there was one woman that she didn't she had her car a car but she did not have her own place to live she was sleeping on her boss's couch oh my god hilarious um was she hot Not particularly, no. Okay. By the time you're on this dating app and you're single, are you still just looking to get laid or now are you looking for like a new woman in your life? Sometimes I was just looking to get late.

Sometimes I was looking for a woman. But then I would meet these women and they would be looking to move a whole lot faster as far as a relationship goes than I was comfortable with. there was two of them that were talking marriage after dating for a month or two. Right. Yeah, that's little nuts. Yeah, no, it was too much for me. I dated a couple of women that had asked me about my past, and I was honest with them,

which ended up being a mistake. Honest in what? That you said you were in a bad marriage and you cheated? Yes, I told them about that, and then one. was accusing me of cheating quite a bit after that. Were you? Was I cheating now? Right.

Okay. The other one I told her about the cheating and I definitely changed in her eyes at that point and it wasn't long after that she ended up breaking up with me. Right. So now moving forward, I don't even know how I should respond if I'm asked about my past. Well, why would you tell a little? girl, I don't think the fact that you cheated on your wife and the bat, I don't think you need, I don't think you need to keep that in the story. I really don't. You know, I think that's TMI,

too much information. I think maybe, listen, after somebody really knows you and you're with someone, maybe, you're in a new relationship now, right? I am. I mean, I don't know if we want to skip to that or, I mean, or just basic, I mean, or do we want to talk about the crazy girl phase you went into? I mean, how long did the crazy girl phase last? It was different women. I mean, one of them broke into my house. What was she looking for? Like, did she think you were, like, cheating on her?

She was looking for proof? Did she want money? Like, was your crackhead? Like, what was her deal? She was looking for proof that I was cheating on her. Right. There was nothing there. There was nothing to be found.

Well, is this one that you said you cheated on your wife with? I did, yeah. I told her about my past. and at that point she assumed that I was cheating on her as well. Right. Okay. I actually caught her in my house one night when I was trying to go for work. Oh my God.

How scary is that? Driving up to the house and seeing the lights on inside. Wait a minute. I didn't leave those lights on. And then I saw her car. And like, did she try to hide? Or was she just like, yeah, I'm here. Like, what was her deal?

Like, like, how crazy was she? Like, was she, like, horrified that you caught her? Or was she, like, you know, so crazy that she was like, felt like she was entitled to be there? This was, we had had several arguments. We had argued quite a bit. And I had eventually told her that if we're arguing like this, I don't think we should be moving forward in the relationship.

And it was, I don't know, a day or two later that I caught her in my house. And that's when I realized how crazy she was. and to the point where she was calling me quite often. She would call me at work. She was writing me letters, sending me emails. I just wanted to walk away from her. I didn't want to have any part of that. Right.

It took about, I'd say, a good 10 months before she finally left me alone. Yeah, that's a little scary. That was. Yeah, because that's the kind of person that you see, like, on Dateline, that could like snap like a crazy person that just can't let go of something like that you know. Tomaz has a long time to like not be able to let go of someone that

doesn't want you. I mean was it that she was just chasing after you and you were saying no or were you being like were you totally fucked up and like you were still seeing her and hanging out with her and like no I wanted nothing to do with that. That's what I was thinking you you want nothing to do it and this bitch keeps coming back

after 10 like it. Yeah that's a little scary you got to watch out with people like that. Usually if She would call her text. I would ignore them, but there were a few times where we did talk, and I had told her that I don't want to have anything to do with her. Yeah. She didn't want to accept that. Yeah, that's crazy.

That's scary crazy. It is. Yeah. It is. Not a good, comfortable feeling. No, and I tell every, I really believe that, like, there's, like, that crazy. Somebody like that, like, those are the people. There's men and women like that out there.

And those are the ones that you see on TV, like on date. episodes that like could be the type of person that would actually like kill somebody you know like a jilted lover person you know so i just i just never understand why when i see these dateline episodes like there are people that are like with somebody like that right but they don't like leave like they don't do what you do and just like not feed any of the fire right like and they just so it goes out right they like just get into the drama and they do business with this person then they eventually like kill them and it's just like i mean what did you think like a crazy people are like stay the fuck away you know

like seriously like that kind of shit you know it's like not a good thing so anyway you got out of that and then did you eventually meet this girl that you're with now I did I started dating this woman did you tell her about the cheating right off the bat I know I've never told her about that see she hasn't asked isn't it isn't that funny I mean she hasn't asked and I haven't said anything about it

Yeah, well, I don't tell her. But I'm afraid that if she does ask me and I lie about it, that she may find out from someone else down the road. That's my fear. Right. How long you've been dating her for? I'd say six months now. And now, is this the first girl since you, you know, got divorced

that you actually really like? Yes. I really like her. The sex drive on her. her is amazing, where she's initiating more than I am. Right. I mean, every time we see each other, we end up banging people. And it's not something that I'm used to.

But you like it, I'm sure. Absolutely. It's amazing. But at the same time, I still have these thoughts in my head about hooking up with other women. The itch is still there, and that kind of scares me. Oh, that's interesting. You feel like once you broke that monogamous sort of streak, like you can't get out of it? I don't know.

But I, and there's a few of the women from my past that keep popping up. Mm-hmm. And have you cheated on her? I have not. Right. I haven't cheated on her, but I know there's one woman that, the regulars that I was seeing for a while. she told me that her door is always open for me. That gets my head wandering real quick.

Right. That's interesting. I mean, do you feel like you could ever be monogamous again? I'm trying. I really don't want to be a dirt bog. See, those are such trying. I don't want to be. Those are such like weak words, right?

Like, you know, you have to be definite. Like, yeah, it's really hard, but I would never cheat. Like, you know what I mean? Like, you're not at that place. So it is a little, it's very likely that you will wind up doing it because you're not sort of convinced of yourself, really. Like, you don't even trust yourself because if you listen to the words that you use, it's kind of like I'm trying. I don't trust myself. You're absolutely right.

Yeah, you definitely don't. and it's probably because you're conflicted, right? Because, you know, maybe it's not, listen, maybe it's not time for you to be in a serious relationship yet. You know, maybe you need a couple more years of getting all the sort of variety out of your system. I don't know, you know. Maybe, I mean, you listen to my podcast,

maybe you could wind up being in a relationship like these other people. Like maybe, you know, you, this girl with a really high sex drive somehow would eventually if you stay with her be open to other people? I don't know it's like now that I do my show and I talk to all these

people and there's so many of them that are having like open relationships and doing all these things like you just you know how old is the girl that you're with now the six of the girl that you're with the six months she's 36 right you just don't know I don't know what do you think

I don't think she would be interested in that at all. She's told me that she thinks that watching porn is cheating. Oh, God. If that's her feeling, oh, wait, wait, wait, right. Oh, forget this girl.

Watching porn is cheating. But we really get along well, though. That's the thing. Other than, I mean, a few statements like that. Yeah, you've only been with her six months, okay? And in what sense, like when you say you get along with her well, what do you mean by that? Like is it, because I know you have really amazing sex with her, right? We do.

Some of the best sex that I ever had. But on top of that, we've become awesome friends. Right. So you have that, which is very important. We can hang out together and laugh the whole time and just get along and click real well. Right. So you really like her company. She likes yours.

You have great sex. Which is something that I haven't had with many women. So that's a big deal. Do you still see your therapist? I haven't. And I've been thinking about going back. I don't know if I'd be going back to the same therapist or not. Why wouldn't you just go back to that therapist?

Do you think she was good, the last one? Was it a she or a he? It was a she. And first of all, she was very attractive, which was difficult. I think I just aired one. I was going to say I just taped it. I think I aired it already, the one where the guy's like about the fucking therapist.

I didn't hear that. Yeah. It made me laugh. She was very attractive, but she never showed any interest like that guy was seen. Right, right, right. Okay. So is that why you might not want to go back to her?

That's, that was part of it. The other thing that I've been doing some research on, I am undiagnosed ADD. And I know I have it, but my doctors have never wanted to give me that label. They did not want me to be medicated for it. They said you're getting a lot of just fine, and I don't need medications, so you don't need that label. But the things that I've been learning about it, I know I have it, and there's a lot that goes along with it,

which I think I need to learn more about and how to deal with it. it better so I'm hoping to find a therapist that kind of specializes in that exactly okay but and one of the things that I just learned recently was the the sex addiction that goes along with ADD right that's quite common and people had had asked me if I was addicted to sex in the past and so that's that's been sticking in my mind right how were you before like that stripper fucked you Because it seems like at that point after, like, you know, you were doing it with your wife. And then, you know, when things were really super bad, it was something like, do you feel like you have addictive personality even before that with other things as well? I never really thought that before other than I probably have an addiction to porn.

I first found porn when I was, I think, in the third or fourth grade and I've been looking at ever since. Right. And it's so accessible now until you think you're kind of addicted to it. Why can you get, like, lost in it for hours? I mean, I don't, I've tried to, uh, to, to, to quit porn in the past, but I, I can't go more than a week without looking at it. Right. So it's hard to be moderate. Because like why quit, right?

Like why not just maybe not look at it so much, right? It doesn't have to be every day. You could say you could do it a couple times a week or like, and if you do it, like, I mean, you know, because there's nothing wrong with it, right? Unless it becomes something that's like totally consuming your time. right? It hasn't been totally consuming my time, but it's definitely there. And why do you think it's a problem? I think it's a problem because I've never been able to get away from it.

I know, like, drinking hasn't really been an issue for me. I can go a couple weeks without having a drink. It's not a problem. I once heard, let me just tell you this, though. I once heard somebody say something, and it really stuck with me. And what she said was, what you resist persists, you know. So maybe if you stopped looking at porn as something that you have to resist, as something that you have to not do, and just kind of forget about it and be okay with it.

Like maybe over time you'll realize that it's okay or that you can walk away with it. But when you make it such a big thing and you're, like, maybe it's like you're just, you're, like, thinking about not doing it makes you want to do it more, right? Because, like, you're just so stuck in your head about it. Whereas if maybe you let go of it for a little while and just see where it goes and stop resisting it, maybe it will become more moderate, right? Because sometimes, like, what they say, when you resist, it persists, that it only gets more because you're trying not to do it and then you want to do it more.

You know what I mean? And that could happen. and that's like a human nature shit, you know what I mean? Like, so I don't know. I don't know how you look at porn. I know some sex addicts. I know one that would be, and he would be like sexting me and trying to get me to engage.

And like, I would sometimes go back and look at like the texting and see that this guy was like in the midst of like trying to jerk off and do you have porn and like, you know, for hours and hours and hours. You know what I mean? Like four hours I'm talking about. I'm not talking about like a 30 minute.

jerk off session to a thing. I mean, you know, so I don't know what to what extent you're using porn in your life, but maybe it's not that big of a deal. I mean, for, you know, and the girl that you're with is not going to help you resist because she's flat out tells you that if you look at porn, you're cheating, which is, I mean, that's not true. I don't think so. I wouldn't think so, but that's how she feels. Yeah, that's a, that's a problem because you like porn. and you like other women and you're going to be cheating on her soon in six months

I'm sorry but unless you get your this is what I need to tell you if you don't want to cheat on her and you want to make this relationship work is that what you want what do you think you really want right now that's what I really want

because you really like her right I mean you come from a history of where you you like this girl has the stuff that you didn't have in your first marriage right and maybe now you're in your 40s you're looking for that companionship and to be with one person. You've had a lot of women, right, since you're divorce.

But you're still stuck in this pattern of something that you were doing for a while and now you can't get that sort of itch away. So I think you really need to be back in therapy. You could be with somebody that focuses on ADHD. That would be really good. But you have to be very honest with them about your relationship and bring that into play. So you don't sabotage this relationship. You know what I mean?

You don't want to sabotage this if you really. like her. I don't, I don't necessarily think that porn is a big deal. I don't think that porn is cheating. I wish that girl was my friend because I, I remember once I had this friend and she found like dirty maggots. This is like, I'm in my 40s, late 40s. So like when my friend found porn in her guy's place, there was no porn on the

internet. You know what I mean? Like she found like porn under his bed. And she was like her fight. Like she came to me like, oh my God, he's like jerking off to other women. And I was like, I don't see. what the problem is. Like, that's just like normal.

You know what I mean? But I grew up with brothers and I don't know. Like you just, that's how guys are. I don't, I think that girl needs to, I don't think she's right. I don't think it's cheating.

And I think if you, I mean, when was it a lot, like, was she ever married before or like been in a long-term relationship? What's her history? She was, she was married.

And what happened there? Do you know? She's told me that her, her ex-husbands cheated on her quite a bit. How many husbands? Have she had? She just one husband. Oh, I thought you said husbands. But it was just that he was cheating on her. And this is where it really gets scary. She says that he was cheating on strippers. And I don't know how much, how involved the ex-husband was with the strippers or if he was just going to a strip club and she considered that cheating. but she told me that that that was an issue and porn has been an issue with people that she's dated as well

well I mean did you ever ask her more questions about that like what does that mean like was porn an issue because they couldn't get out of porn and they wanted her to be like more like the people in porn because listen anyone that's doing it too much and then expects that from the you know or is doing it more than they're having sex and being a part of the relationship. It could definitely affect a relationship. Or is she just have some sort of weird hang up with sex? You know? And so

she looks at any kind of porn as a thing. Like, I don't know. I'd have to talk to her more because there might be something going on with her you know, that's a little bit odd when it comes to that kind of stuff. She has a bad

self image of herself. Right. So she pictures. So yeah, you're You're going to cheat on her too. She smelled you from a mile away. That's what she likes. Not what she likes. It's like, you know,

I mean, it's, I sound so terrible, but like I was, I was the same way I totally understand it. It's like, you know, she plays out the same story,

right? It's what she's doing. She doesn't like porn. She thinks it's cheating. She doesn't want a guy. She doesn't, all she does is keep meeting guys. I mean,

look, she met a guy that loves porn and, you know, has the itched cheat. That would be you. and I don't know because of like I said like I don't know like the words that you use are the things I don't know that you're in the place yet

where you can really maybe make this really work long term but if you want to be in that place and you really believe you know you really need some help because it doesn't seem like like you even said you don't trust yourself So you need help if you want to make it work with this one. I just don't know if it's workable with this one.

Only because I think she might be a little dysfunctional herself and in a way that I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I'm curious to see how this plays out. You know, you've heard me make predictions before, right? Can I make a prediction here? Do you mind?

Absolutely. I predicted six months. This relationship doesn't exist. I don't know. I don't know because I don't know I don't know that like I don't know and I love being wrong okay like honestly I could be completely wrong in this

but I don't know that like what she puts on somebody with like because you don't even know if like the cheating at strippers was that he was just going to strip clubs or he was cheating like but I get listen I get that if a woman doesn't want a guy going into strip clubs and he keeps going like that's a problem you know I mean, and I could see why some woman wouldn't want that, you know what I mean? For sure. But was, you know, and then the porn was a problem in all her relationships. And is it a problem because these guys were like porn addicts or they just looked at porn, you know?

So I think she's a little unstable and may like be always looking. And she probably, if she has low self-image and she had relationships where people cheated on her, she's going to have major trust issues. And those are going to come out. And that kind of stuff could ruin a relationship, you know? The high sex drive always comes into play with a girl like that because what they're doing is like, it's like that's their calling card, right? It's like what she feels she's worth and that's how she's going to keep a guy, right, from cheating on her. So once that sex becomes regular or Monday, because how long could she be the best sex ever?

Like, you can't sustain it. Six months, yeah. Two years? No. So what happens after that, that's when her freak flag flies. And you start to see all her insecurities and the, I don't know, that's just my prediction. And I don't know that that you would, it would be okay. But I don't know that you're ready to be really with one person.

And if you are, this won't work and you'll meet somebody else. That's my prediction. Somebody else a little bit more, I would say. suitable for you even though she's like really great do you think does what I say make any sense to you or you're like it does it's not something I want to hear

but yeah yeah you know who knows but I think listen but I think if you want to make it work and you want to quit porn because you feel like there's a problem and you really like this girl and you know just get yourself a good therapist ASAP so that you don't sabotage it you know And then when you're talking to her, does she see a therapist? Like, make sure she gets in therapy too because like, does she?

She does not see a therapist. I was listening to one of your previous podcasts the other day. And I started laughing. It was the guy with the bra fetish. Yeah. And you were talking about his, I don't know if it was wife or girlfriend, but you had mentioned that she needs to get into a see. a therapist as well and she should probably get to the gym and so she could feel better about

herself. And I'm listening to this and I'm thinking, have you ever spoke with another woman before? How do you suggest to your wife that you need to go to her shrink and you've got to go to the gym to lose weight? Well, I'm sorry. If you're a wife, listen, I remember that fucking girl, okay? If your wife and I would say that to my friend, okay, I'm just one of those people that I would, I don't, I don't feel bad telling the truth of somebody.

If you're anybody in your life is fucking complaining all the time about being out of shape that it stops them from doing everything in their life, you have absolutely every right to tell that person to go to the fucking gym or do something about it. Because like there's the difference between problem solvers and problem havers. I can't stand problem havers. And I think when you really care about somebody, you will try to help them solve their problems. So if somebody doesn't feel good about themselves, right? and it's this constant thing and it's getting in the way of really bad things like to really, I think it's very helpful

to try to be the person to hold the mirror up in front of somebody and say, go to the gym. Even though I think most people wouldn't do that because they think it's really harsh but I personally think that's the kindest thing you could do to somebody at that point. Listen, not somebody that's happy with their weight,

not somebody that complained once, not someone that's slightly overweight that never said a fucking thing, but somebody that's constantly complaining about it. It's getting in the way of all these things. They can't, so they're not, like, it's really, they're probably depressed because they don't look good. Like, you would be doing them a favor. My sister recently, like, got back on it with her figure and her weight and everything,

not because anyone said anything, just because she did. And I can't tell you how she's a new person. Because a lot of times, people that don't look good when they don't look good and they've, you know, they don't feel good about themselves. and it changes their whole life. So that person would be much happier if they were fine. And sometimes somebody just needs for somebody to really tell them what they already know. And that's what I was saying in that situation.

So your girl, how do you tell her she needs to go to a therapist? Yes. Well, you know, listen, she talks about all. When you'll say, like when she brings up things, you have to get in more conversation. Like right now you're six months. months in, you know, after eight months and you start to, like, the more you talk to her, anytime she brings up stuff, if you see old baggage, I don't know, you should be like, does she know you go, if you start going to therapist, you should be honest about it and be like, have you

ever been in therapy? Like, do you go like, you know, I don't know. I don't think it's a big deal. Not like you need therapy, you're fucked up, but kind of like I'm going. Like, have you ever gone? Like, would you consider going, you know? Mm-hmm. That's. definitely a lot to think about. Yeah, you'll see. I mean, right now things are really great with her, right? They are.

We get along very well. But I know she has her issues as well. Right. You've seen some red flags. She has a lot of family issues. I know that there's these many. some tragedies in her life that she most likely could benefit from talking with someone about them. Right. That's what I mean. Like nobody has like really low self-esteem and all that stuff that you've talked about with her, you know, without having stuff that has happened to them that they wouldn't like you said benefit. So, you know, I mean, to me, I don't think it's bad to tell someone they should be seeing a therapist because I think everybody should see a therapist. Like everybody, right? Like everybody could use it.

at different points in their life, not saying people need therapy for the rest of life. If you didn't want to be in a relationship right now, I would say you don't even need to be in therapy. Just go keep doing what you're doing. But because you're like met this girl that you actually really like, right? And you feel this itch that caused you a relationship in the past

and you know that it's something that's like not right and you were otherwise a monogamous person, but you don't know that you can be and you're afraid that you won't be. You know, you should get to see it. you should see a therapist to help you with that. But like, I wouldn't say that you need one if you weren't in a relationship,

but in order to not sabotage this one, because you're on shaky grounds, you should. And for her, if she still has leftover stuff from really hardcore things that happened to her, what's wrong with her seeing somebody, you know? So I think therapy is great,

and most people could benefit from it. And I think it's so sad that it still gets like a bad rap with a lot of people, and it seems like such a thing. But I don't know. To me, I think like if you're alive and you're a human being, you're flawed.

That's what it's about. You know, nobody's fucking perfect. So why wouldn't you need one at some point? Like that's what being a human being is about. We come here, we have fucking problems. We become better people and then we die. And, you know, if you want to become a better person, which is what you're supposed to do while you're alive.

That's what is the fucking point. Then you're going to need some help because it's like you can't. Sometimes you need help. Therapists can be really helpful if you're with the right person, you know. So you go get yourself to help and help that relationship. I just think she needs it too because I think you could do everything you could do from not sabotaging, but with her issues that she has and her low self-esteem, she's probably capable of sabotaging too. And that's what you guys have to be worried about.

And especially since you really like her. You know, it's hard for all the stars to align, right? You've fucked how many girls and met how many people, you know, and this is the first one that you met that you really like, that you really get along with. So it's worth it to try to stop yourself from sabotaging and, you know, she should do the same. Somehow you have to get her into therapy without saying that to her. Do you know what I'm saying?

It makes sense. Yeah, it definitely makes sense. So I'm curious, let's count the months. Okay, we're in August, September, October, November, December, January. So right around my end of the year, listen, if anything happens before that, any kind of sabotage that's going on in her or anything that I've predicted that it comes true,

let me know. If not, we need to touch base in December when I do my end of the year. your thing and I want to see where you guys are at. Okay. But good luck with all that. Good luck with her. It's good, you know, and just go get yourself a good therapist and keep me posted. We'll do.

And I hope I'm wrong. And by the way, I'm like, it's 50-50. Sometimes I'm right. Sometimes I'm wrong. So it's like, you never know. All right, Jake. Thanks. You couldn't have suggested that I started sleeping with people for money.

I mean, that could have been a good prediction for me. I mean, maybe I don't think you, I mean, well, you want to be. You want the money too? Like, I don't know. I mean, you could go sleep with whoever you want. I just, you know, you want to be in a relationship right now. But I think if you choose not to, you'd be fine as well. So it's your choice, you know.

So keep me posted. And thanks so much for calling in. We'll do. Thanks, Kathy. All right. Thanks, Jake. Bye. Bye.

Okay. I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. is now available not only in paperback and e-book, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang being girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all turrets.

told in the third person and they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person and I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. 17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format, and finally, the audio book is available coming out August 25th, but you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint, okay? There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than

getting the link from me, okay? I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other, and that's what you get to do there. You could post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total, strictly anonymous community, and you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord.

It's private, like I said. All you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook, or the paperback. sent it to me at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. That's Strictly Anonymous Podcasts at gmail.com. And I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in. This is the Strictly Anonymous podcast.

Do you have a story, lifestyle, or situation you can't talk about to anyone, to anyone? Or do you just want to let your freak flag fly? and be on the show. Well, Strictly Anonymous wants to hear from you. Send us an email, Strictly Anonymous podcast at gmail.com, with your story and your anonymous name. And remember, everything is strictly anonymous.

Strictly anonymous.