Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 262 - Camille has a Husband, a Boyfriend and a New Female Sex Buddy

Episode Date: December 17, 2018

Camille is in an open marriage with her husband and has a boyfriend and a new female sex buddy on the side. What went down to turn her traditional marriage into an open one? Tune in to hear the whole long, interesting story plus hear all about how she met her boyfriend, what their relationship is all about, how a threesome led to her meeting her new female lover and a whole lot more. You don't want to miss all the interesting details. **To see anonymous pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. The Craigslist is definitely like the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Singapore or Thailand. You can't not do it.

The temptation is just too much. Is it real problem? Do your friend know that you're banging her or no? No, he has no idea. And anything goes. The motto of the show, let your freak flag fly. Probably the only good advice I'll ever give you is to rehire. your wits and change. Here is your host, Kathy.

Hey, welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast with Kathy. If you want to follow the Strictly Anonymous podcast on Instagram or Twitter, follow the show at Strict Anonymous. If you want to be a guest for my show, I'm always looking for people, people who have problems that want advice, people who live secret lives or interesting lives that just want to talk about it. I'd love to have you on. So send me an email at Strictly Anonymous podcast at gmail.com. what else if you can write a review for my show that would be really great i'm always looking for reviews so today i have on um somebody who was a listener of the show who sent me an email um she's

a female her name is camille and you could tell by the title camille has a husband a boyfriend and a recent girlfriend how she has a husband a boyfriend and a new girlfriend is a very interesting story. It's very different than my other person who I had on my call. I had another woman on who had an open marriage and she was like having a, she did a gang bang. It was Christine, right? And then she started dating the guy and her boyfriend was fine with that. This is the same kind of situation except it's very different. And that's what's so interesting. And that's why I like actually really talking to people about their stuff because the same person that sort of could be in the same category. oh, she has like a relationship, you know, she has an open marriage and a boyfriend, just like

Christine, but it's very, very different stories. How she goes, like how she went about having an open marriage after having a traditional marriage with her husband, how she wound up getting a boyfriend, and how she wound up finding a new girlfriend. That's all a very interesting story. And that's what we discuss on this podcast. So I'm just going to get right to it. And I'll be right back on with Camille. So I know when you wrote in, you were like, oh, I have the same. old story as everybody else and you really don't um you know and i mean their subject line i think was like the good news is i'm a woman right because you know that my callers love when i have female colors on right because i don't get a lot of female colors i think is one of the reasons but i also

think men love to hear from women or hear women talk about like stuff that they've done sexually that is a little bit you know out of the box because i think men want to really believe that women like sex as much as they do. Which is so crazy. What do you mean? It's crazy because I feel like, you know, half the people you know are women. So I feel like are people just not talking about sex ever? Yeah, that's why I do my show.

I mean, you hear this stuff on my show that people are talking about that they don't tell anybody. And these are things that people are doing a lot more than people talk about. I think, like, it's a very different world right now and women are much more open about stuff. but I still think, you know, men are different and more into a lot of things than women. But, you know, listen, I've had women on the show that have done a lot of things and you're one of them. Though, like, your situation is different. Like, I had a woman on before who, I mean, you're in an open marriage, right? And we'll start there.

But it didn't start off that way. You were in a traditional marriage. And it's not like the other caller who she was in a, you know, a regular marriage and started to get really horny and came into her own and was like told her husband she's going to go have a gang bang or something and he agreed and there was reasons for that i don't know if you listened to the second her second podcast it was very interesting because there was a lot of stuff going on with her husband now with you it's a completely different kind of scenario your open relationship came about after shit went down in your relationship so why don't we start from uh what happened first which is

you caught your husband cheating right and how did you catch him cheating him who was he cheating with. I mean, I didn't catch him. Catch him. Like, I didn't catch him red-handed or have evidence, but I just knew. But why? Because there was one person he kept talking about that I know he had become friends with recently. And he talked about, her name came up just kind of way too much, way more than other new friends. He saw her more often than he sees other friends. He's a busy person. He doesn't usually see people that often.

And just the way her name would sort of wedge itself into any conversation, I could tell, you know, at least that he had feelings for her. And then he was seeing her so much that I felt like there's some things that. I mean, my friends and I were already calling her, like, his girlfriend. You guys don't understand that. Women have very strong intuition. Like, they just really do. Like, they're a lot smarter than guys are in that way, you know.

So most of the time women know. What's up? What? We've been raised from birth to pay attention to other people's feelings. Exactly. We get really good at it. Yeah, we know. Yeah, so I just knew.

And then it was like a really bad time in our marriage. We had like a year and a half. No, but you knew, but how did you get him to cop to it? Okay, because like if you never really found out for sure, most guys, and I would tell my friend, if he was my friend, I'd be like, just lie, just deny, deny, deny. unless you totally know for sure. You could always, if you leave even that one percent of doubt, like, that's there and then she can't, you know, call you out on it.

So, like, how did he cop to it? Like, how did you really find out the truth? Well, I mean, he lied for a long time. Like, I asked him again and again, you know, in front of our therapist in front of, like, I mean, you know, he just denied. Of course. Would go back and forth between believing him and not believing him. Of course.

This is the way it goes. This was like in a horrible time in her marriage, and he left me, this lasted a week, but he left me, like, we were going to get a divorce. And then after a week, you know, I called him, we talked, we agreed to sort of try again, but I said, like, if we're trying again, like, I really need to know the truth about this person. And I think just because we were sort of starting anew, it was kind of, he had promised to be more honest with each other. like he just couldn't deny it anymore. So what did he say? He denied it so many times. He said, he started small.

He said like, okay, it's true that I have some crushy feelings about her. And, you know, we, I think he told me that they had kissed at first. And then over like the course of like a few days and talking about it, he little by little talked to more. They had like, you know, an affair. and he also had, I guess what you would call it, didn't get very physical with another person. What do you mean? Oh, so there was more than one?

There was more than one. There was two. Okay, so he caught to the fact that he went a lot further than just kissing her, right? Like, he was like having sex with her and that whole deal, right? Yeah. The one that you thought. Yeah. And then he said, oh, and by the way, there's also somebody else that you had never even

known about that I actually, like, have feelings for? Yes, and he, you know, saw a bunch of times and they talked about, you know, if he and I split up, they would get together maybe. And, you know, there was like a lot of romantic talk. There was one kiss, like a makeout session. But that's sort of where that stopped. Yeah, but, I mean, why did that stop? Because he was married and she wasn't into it? Or is it because you guys, like, the shit hit the fan with you?

and so he stopped it? I mean, I think it was a combination of things. I think that because he was married and because she knew, we live in New York, she lives in L.A. They didn't teach her that often. Right.

Okay. So it wasn't going to be like, he just knew it wasn't going to go anywhere. Like to leave you for her in L.A. like it wasn't realistic, so he didn't pursue it. Right. And I don't even think he was considering

leaving me for the other person. But leaving me wasn't for her. just things had gotten very bad different enough. So things were bad enough. Things had gotten really bad between us. I mean, that's sort of the climate that made that happen, I guess.

And I thought it, and that's partly why I was able to forgive him as I felt like things were really shitty. I wasn't being nice for him. I get it. I remember I had one boyfriend and he cheated on me and I cheated him like shit.

Like I literally. And then when I found him he was cheating. I was like, okay, like, listen, I'll cheat you better if you just like dump that girl and come back to me. And it never was good after that, whatever, because I, I can't, I don't, I don't have it in me. I'm a distrustful person to begin with. I have a trust to be able to trust somebody again after that. And I think that that's always the hardest thing. So this guy tells you, like, first of all, you kind of knew about the one girl, but the other one, like, I'm sure that's, like, totally blew you away because you had no idea about her, right?

I had no idea about her. It did blow me away. In fact, I remember he told me, like, we met for a drink at, like, a blind place, a wine bar by where we live. And he told me that, and I've never done this before in my entire life. And I didn't consciously do it. It just happened. I watched it happen. I slapped him across the face.

Like in the movies. Yeah. Like, I just watched my hand fly up and do it. I had no control over it. And right after we both were like, oh, my God, what just happened? Oh, I mean, that must have just been so, like, like I said, like, I mean, it's one thing when you're, you know, you kind of know that thing is going on, you know, and that's bad enough. But to top it off, like, there's somebody else and I have feelings. And so, you know, that's, like, really hurtful.

Right. And he also told me there was another person he floated with. Nothing happened. Oh, my God. Somebody needed to tell him, somebody needed to tell him, like, he could have stopped at the, the first one. Like, what's the point of, like, all that extra information? Like, you cheat once or five times. You are? I'm glad because I really am a person who wants to know everything. Yeah, no, yeah, I get it. Yeah. I don't want to see everything. Like, there was a point where I don't even remember why he let me read some of the text between him and, like, the main person.

And I read one and, like, threw them on across the room and didn't want to read anymore because. I would think it'd make you physically, like, no. cautious almost. I think that's just way too much. It was too much. And so I didn't, I don't want to see any of their communication. Like, I don't want to see everything, but I want to know concrete information. It helps me not, like, fly off into, like, the things that you imagine may have happen are generally so much worse than what happened. Right, exactly. Like what people don't understand, especially people that are like keeping lies from somebody else is that most people could handle the truth. They really can, you know. And a lot of people think.

you know, it's the lying and the not knowing that is literally crazy making for whether your man or a woman. The lying is crazy. Yeah, totally. And I have a special, yeah. I'm especially. Like, I hate, I've broken up with friends over them, you know, lying to me. I can't deal with it.

So that was the thing. I mean, that was the thing that took forever to get over. Yeah. So now how long, okay, so after you find out, like, you decide now, do you have kids or like, what is the reason that you're, like, so invested in this relationship that, oh, that you're not going to leave him? Oh, it was because. What you said is like you felt like you were treating him like shit and maybe like you were partially to blame for him cheating on you and you should maybe give him another chance.

How long were you guys married at this point or together totally? Okay. We were married for, let's think for a second, about almost 10 years, but we've been together for 23 years. Oh, my God. And how long were you guys when you met him? How old are you guys? It was literally half my life. I was 23.

And how old was he? He was 34. Oh, and if he's only cheated on you once with, you know, and three people at the same time, it's really not that bad after 23 years. I kind of agree with you. I feel like, yeah. You know what I'm saying? Do you have kids with him?

No, we don't have kids. Okay. So, but towards the end, so like you had this, you were with him for a very long time. And so what happened in your marriage that towards the end? or like right before he started cheating on you, like you started to get really like conty to him. Like it was something going on with you or like what was the deal? Yeah, I mean, it's sort of hard to explain.

It was more emotional than like any event happened. But there was a point when I decided, well, first of all, I was like working like crazy. I had this new job. I was looking way too much. But I also wanted more from him. I wanted us to be emotionally closer. I felt like we were

we reached a place where we were just polite to each other in a way. I think a lot of relationships get to that point, right? That's why I'm asking you these details because I think it's interesting and probably people could relate. Yeah, we weren't talking about real stuff and our feelings about stuff.

We were sort of brushing along the surface of things. I think, yeah, like a lot of couples do, I think especially couples who have kids like the kids. Yeah. even worse. Yeah. And I didn't like that.

And so I started demanding kind of more and I went about it all the wrong way. Like the way you get something to be more honest with you and closer to you isn't by like yelling at them that they're not close enough to you. I think it's that that's a car like, you know, women communicate and the way that they would want to be communicated to. It's that whole men from like are from Mars and Women's for Venus shit. It's like very true. You know.

And so when a woman complicate. to a guy about stuff that she wants. She always does it the wrong way. If she's doing it naturally, right? Because our natural way is to do it the way we would want it. You know what I mean? Or we would respond. And it's very different than the way a man.

And so he just hears it as like blah, blah, blah, nag, nag, nag, nag, nag. You know what I mean? And so then it gets worse, right? You get, the woman gets worse because she's not getting what she wants and she keeps speaking up, you know? And sometimes that's, you know, it leads to the woman cheating, you know? I mean, in this case, it led to him cheating. You know, it could have also in that situation a lot of times is the reason why a woman goes and cheats, right?

Because she's like telling this guy, her man, I want these things and he's just like, doesn't do it, right? So she goes and finds it someplace else, but you were too busy with your new job and he was the one that went checked out. Yeah. And I also think that he just, okay, if he weren't able to just, if he understood what I was asking for and was able to do it, he would have done it. It was that he just didn't know how to reconnect. Yeah, he didn't know how to emotionally communicate more. And here I was demanding for him to do something that he didn't know how to do. And so it led to this really long stalemate between us that got worse and worse.

And when we got more and more estranged. And it led to this atmosphere of like us being not very nice to each other and then he's cheating. Yeah. And I mean, listen, that happens sometimes. That's why I always say like with the cheating story. I think I said this on my intro the other day. Like, I mean, you could hear 50 cheating stories and not everyone is like, oh, that guy's a pig or an asshole. There are different ranges.

There's different reasons. And I think sometimes it's just like men are just, some men are like there's like different variations of it. And some is like really bad. And but some of you listen to the whole story, you could say like, okay, like maybe you should give that guy another chance because there's things that were going on. Right. And so I totally understand that. You had a lot invested in this guy. Like you didn't have kids with him, but you were with him.

for your whole life practically, right? Your whole adult life. My whole adult life for sure. I mean, half my life literally. Right. So, you know, I think it's hard for a woman to walk away when there's even a little bit of hope, right? So you think to yourself like, oh, like maybe if I didn't do this or that, things would have been okay. So you have to, like, give it that shot.

So you, for that time afterwards, like, were you like a crazy person, though, like very distrustful? Like, how did you get to the point where you could, like, trust him again? Does that take a long time? it took like a year it took a really long time yeah i would think um yeah i think for a lot of people it's like longer than that exactly it feels like well nothing for what had to happen um how did we get there i mean a lot of it was he answered my question yeah there has to be like full disclosure right if you want to see his phone and he just lets you see the phone that kind of shit right like if you're having like a mental day where you're going like a nuts like he needs to like

prove to you, right? Because really trust is earned, right? So in order for you to trust him again, he has to prove that he's trustworthy. Yeah, there was that. And I mean, I never wanted to, like, look at all his emails and look at all his texts or anything like that.

Uh-huh. Because I feel like privacy is important. Uh-huh. But I did, well, and I also instituted a thing that turned out to be kind of genius, which was, like, I always had more questions. for him and it I didn't want that to take over the time we spent together I wanted to also like have the relationship and have nice times together and have it not just be a constant

interrogation so we instituted a thing we called Sunday questions which was every Sunday we would get an hour for me to ask my questions from that week so when I had like questions or worries or whatever I would just write them down and not ask them right away Did your therapist help you with that or did you come up with that? I came up with that. Yeah, it's a good, it's a good idea. And it worked for you guys, obviously. Yeah, but like it was hard.

I was having flashbacks, you know, like, I didn't even experience. I was having nightmares. I was, like, not able to walk right next to, like, places I knew they'd been together. It was really awful. And I had never been a jealous person and I was, like, consumed with jealousy. Of course, because you. It's like the rug was pulled from underneath you. It's almost like a post-traumatic stress disorder.

It totally is like that. Yeah, with the flashbacks and everything and just anxiousness. And it was really, really awful. And I have to say, like, the thing that helped with that the most was going on a date with somebody else. I know. And that's where I want to fast forward to because I've spent a lot of time on your, you know, cheating story. But, like, the real interesting part of this is somewhere along the line, you get the okay to go on a date with someone else. Like, how did that come up?

So that came up because, like, it was like a year after the disclosure of the affairs. You know, things had gotten way better, but they were still up and down. During one of the down periods, he was like, let's take a break from each other for a month, which was crazy to me. And I saw that as like he was getting ready to leave me again. I know the first time he left me, I fell apart for two weeks. I didn't want that to happen again. And then in trying to think of, like, how can I prevent that from happening? One of my ideas was, like, I'll go on a date with someone else just so that I'll see that, like, it's possible to go on a date with someone else.

You're not going to be alone forever if you leave. Also, like, that there are people out there who might, like, want to hang out with me, you know? Yeah, like, it would make him feel a little. little insecure like yeah you could leave me for a month but you don't really know if I'll you know I might not be here when you get back because I might find somebody oh I didn't want to I didn't even know that way I wasn't even trying to make him so jealous I was just I just needed some assurance that like I there were other people in the world that I could be interested in that could be interested in me that's all right but if you let him know that that was the deal that also did that to him which is also pretty smart

without you even realize yeah no that's not a bad bonus yeah totally but yeah but Really, you did it for yourself, and that's the smartest thing to do. And that's what you had to do because you, or else you were like in the weaker position. Yes, I totally felt that way. Like, he was just like running around acting like a single person during that time. Right. Yeah. And I felt jealous.

I felt really jealous that he had gotten to, like, have to kiss someone else and infects with someone else. And I felt like, geez, I haven't done that in 23 years. I'll never be able to do that. Yeah, right? Because you're playing on, like, you know, dying with this person, right? I mean, you're never going to leave him. So it's just like one guy your whole life. Oh, my God, I couldn't even imagine.

So you, so did you go? So was it during the break that you met this other person? It was during the break that like I made a, that like, yeah, I, you know, quote unquote, met him like on OKCupid. And then we sort of ended the break in between then and when I actually went on the date. but he still, my husband thought it was actually a good idea for me to go on the date anyway. Now, was he dating too? No, and he's still not.

Okay, and you know that for sure? Yeah, I do, because why would he lie now? Because, you know, I don't know. I don't know, but I don't know. Like, why wouldn't he go date too if you're doing all this stuff? Because what happens is you go on OKCupid, right? You meet somebody else. Your husband says, okay, but you, like, it's not a one-off thing, right, that goes away, like his relationships.

He's not with those women. This is a person who is like, you call your boyfriend, right? Like, this is someone that you are hardcore with, like probably not just sexually, probably emotionally too, right? Remember how you felt when he told you all that stuff? Like, I mean, he's got to have some level, have some feelings about it, but yet he's not doing anything. Just like you thought to yourself and said, oh, he got to be with that. somebody else why shouldn't I like right you would think that these kinds of emotions and feelings would go through him as well even though it's a tip for tat and you would say you're

even but like you're not he's not even like you got a little bit more than he did way more I mean I've been with this guy for a year now yeah exactly yeah no I think I mean I know that he has those thoughts because he'll sometimes mention things like I said to him from one way decided to open some marriage. Like, you can do basically whatever you want as long as you're safe. And as long as I kind of know the basic parameters of what's going on, like, it's fine. And he's checked with me a few times. Like, so that means I can do like this thing?

And I'm like, like, always say, yeah. Like, you could totally do that. And he checks often enough that it's obviously in the back of his mind. He hasn't done it yet. He still says he probably won't. I don't think that's true. but it's, I mean, it's for a host of reasons. One thing is like, you know, he's a middle-aged man.

He's a little bit shy about, like, getting naked with some new person, you know. You think? Yeah, no, he said that to me. He said, like, he's like body image stuff. And then also he has this intense fear of, like, playing people off with, you know, sort of triangular relationships and being in the middle

of things like that and even though I issue with him it wouldn't be like that I think he has so much fear about like having two people conflicting over him right but listen

a man could go screw someone 15 times and not get emotionally involved so it's not like he needs to like I mean he could just have a booty call situation no I mean wasn't that first girl that way with him

no she was a real relationship Oh, so he was, he cared about her. He also had an emotional relationship with somebody else, and he was starting to date somebody else. Yeah, so I'd ever talk about it, at least. Right. So he likes to have girls like him, like, and he likes to like them. Like, I mean, he likes that kind of thing. He likes that aspect of things.

Yeah, like when I started seeing this other guy, my husband's big worry was like, well, once you start having sex with somebody, though, you're going to, like, fall in love with them. I mean, it's like inevitable. Right, because that's the way he, he's a relationship. guy, your guy. Right. Okay. Yeah. So that's why he's that way. Okay, right. And, right. And I'm, I like relationships too and

connecting with people, but I also am able to separate sex and love when we look at head fuck, buddy, and things like that. But when did you have those? Before him or during him or after? Before him. Oh, okay. Before him. Okay, before him. Okay, cool. So, but you, but the guy that you mean on,

oh, right, the guy that you mean on Okay. Cupid though, like you, it's like the first guy. I mean, you're pretty lucky considering. I know some single people that would love your love, like the first guy you sort of meet up with, right? Becomes your boyfriend. Oh, actually, it wasn't even okay Cuban. That one was, it was Bumble. I don't even know what that is, but whatever.

That's the one where it's like women have to be the one to message first, men can't message first. Oh, interesting. Okay, so you see a guy, you're like, he's my type, and you hit him up, and he's like a great guy, right? And now he does he know? Does he know? Obviously, he knows. I mean, you guys seem pretty open and honest. So he knows the fact that you're married and you're with somebody else and he's cool with that.

What's his story? Of course, he's married. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. Okay, and does his wife know too? Yeah, he was his wife. Yeah, she knows everything. They don't, yeah. I need all these people.

I wish we had like five people on this podcast. I need some do some conference. Can we conference in these people? There's a lot of players in this story. I need to, and I want to know everyone's like inside everyone's brains. Like, I'm only inside your brain. but I really want to be inside theirs too. So this guy's married too.

How does he have an open relationship? Like, what's his deal with his wife? Like, how did that happen? It's actually exactly the same story, except for it. It happens, like, four years before mine, where his wife, he found out his wife had been cheating. Okay. He'd actually been cheating, like, steadily for, like, 10 years.

Okay. He found out. He found out. And then in the court. of sort of talking through that, you know, he proposed, like, an open marriage. Right. And so does she see other people?

She has a serious boyfriend. She has a what? A boyfriend. Okay. Who's basically been together two years. Uh-huh. I think that's, yeah, I know, actually. So far, they're the only person, other person that she sees.

Right. Now, do you, have you ever met her? No. Okay. So you keep that like everyone keeps these things kind of separate and compartmentalized. It's not like you're all going out to do. It's not like you're all double dating and with your people and your boyfriends and your husband's your wife. But a lot of people do that.

I would think that eventually like, you know, it gets to that point, right? Because like listen, does he take it like when you go home to your husband, does he ask questions? Like does he feel like he knows this guy or does he not want to know? Is he like you and he doesn't want to know a lot of details? or like what's the deal? How much does he know? He doesn't want to know very much. The sort of policy we have is that like if he wants to know something,

he will ask and I will answer, honestly. And if something changes that I think he would want to know about, I tell him. Okay. There's just something I'm dying to tell him, I tell him. Right, but now this, now your guy, right, the guy that you're, like, does his wife know all about you or do they have the same thing, the same kind of sort of? They're much less communicative about their other relationships. I mean, I don't understand how it works.

But they obviously have a really good relationship with each other, but they don't talk about their other relationships at all, which is crazy. Well, maybe that's how. Maybe it's like kind of an all or nothing thing, like very black and white, right? So it's either like we know too much. I think it's hard to be like in the moderate about it.

Like I would think I would be more like I want to know. know everything or I want to know nothing, right? Because your husband doesn't know everything, and that's going to be the next thing we talk about, right? And he doesn't kind of want to know, right? So there's that, like, middle ground, which would be very difficult for me, but, you know, everybody's different. He doesn't want to know sexual stuff, and I don't want to know sexual stuff,

and I don't want to tell about the sexual stuff. I don't want to tell him those details. Right. There doesn't seem to be any reason for it other than to make him feel bad and have visions of things that, you know, the head. Well, let me ask you, this is like a dumb. question but it just came up in my head so I'm going to ask like what happens at holidays like obviously I would think that you spend it both of you with your husband and he spends it with his

wife but do you like exchange presents on Christmas and shit like that like I mean do you get like both people in presents like what's the deals they're like that kind of like romantic stuff going on I there is some romantic stuff like we got each other birthday presents okay but not like Christmas presents um And, like, your husband, does he say, like, what did he get you? Like, I mean, is there, like... No, the first time, when I got him a birthday present beforehand, I asked, like, because it was early on in the open marriage,

and I didn't know kind of what the parameters were. He still haven't, like, totally knocked them out. But I asked, like, would it be okay if we got this guy, like a small gift? Yeah, uh-huh. And your husband said, yeah, sure. He said, yeah, sure. did he help you decide what to get?

No. Okay. No, but no, he didn't. And like there's, generally, I don't go to him for help, but there was like, you know, there have been like a couple times that he's given me good, like, boy advice, which has been really cute. Yeah, right? Because when you're at, like, okay.

But he's never asked you for girl advice. Like, there is a woman that I'm kind of interested in and I might want to hook up with her, but I don't know how to, like, ask girl. Like, has he ever gotten, like, that close to having anybody in his life or? No. I wish. I mean, I wish he did because I think that would be adorable. I don't know.

There's one person I know he has a crush on that I try to hold back from being too encouraging, because when you're too encouraging, it tends to have the opposite effect. But, like, when you say that you think if you were too encouraging that he wouldn't go for it and you don't want to make him nervous? Yeah. But, you know, the thing where, like, someone pushes you toward something so much that it starts to feel like they own it more than you, like, it's not your thing anymore. Yeah, but let me ask you this and be completely honest because, like, you know, I believe human beings.

We're all like, you know, we can't help being ridiculous sometimes. But like, okay, you have like your cake and you're eating it too. But like would you, do you really want him to be with somebody else or do you feel like like you would love for it to stay this way? I do want him to be with somebody else. So there are mixed reasons for that. I mean, one is this, like, wonderful benevolent, like it would be, it might make him happy. It would be sort of sweet to see him doing something just for himself. I like this person.

They have a cute chemistry together. But also, the not as benevolent reason the more selfish one is that I feel like it would help me feel, I mean, I don't sort of intellectually feel guilty about anything I'm doing. We don't think I'm doing anything wrong, but there's. some part of me that still feel a little guilty or must because I feel like, oh, I would feel less wary of telling him things or less worried about how he would be more even. So it's interesting because you've come a long way, right, from someone being so jealous and that I guess like having somebody else, right, really makes a difference.

It gave me perspective on his affairs because I realized because before I met this, boyfriend, I didn't understand that my husband could still love me and have these romantic relationships and tell someone else that he loves them, you know? I didn't, I just couldn't get my mind around it. And so I concluded, like, he must not have left me. And he must not love me. Also, like, just things like, like, here's, like, the first thing that happened that felt like a huge weight off my shoulders was, for a long time.

I was stuck on the fact that he had written a poem to this woman. And he had never written me a poem. And I was like, that killed me. Right. And I, because I also felt like you must have had overwhelmingly romantic feelings and just passion for this person. Right. More than for you. Right.

Yeah. You were comparing. Everything was like a comparison. Yes, which is the worst thing we've been positively do. Right. And so, but that's like all. I was doing constantly. And then this guy that I started, before I even met him, like we had made a date,

there was something like flirting over text, he sent me a poem. It wasn't a romantic poem. We obviously had never met each other. It was just like a funny poem. And so I felt obligated to write him one in return, which I didn't end up doing. But that feeling, what, like, I know that the woman, my husband had in the chair with, wrote him a poem first. So I felt like, oh, I see him. how that happened, how you write a phone to somebody.

Like, it doesn't mean that you're, like, consumed with passion for them. Like, I was about to write a poem to someone I never even met before. So, like, that put that in perspective. It was no longer symbolic of, like, how he was, you know, shunningly. And so there were a million little things like that, including, like, oh, then I made out with this guy. And I still, it didn't change my feelings for my husband at all. then I had sex with this guy didn't change my feelings like we started calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend my feeling stayed the same place. It's so fascinating it's so fascinating right

that it's like you had to experience it and now you realize like it can be that way like you could have feelings for two people like you could have like right like so it's not one or the other yes absolutely and I think you could only really believe that I never felt it yeah I think you could only, because like intellectually, I'm like, oh my God, that's like brilliant, right? Like that just makes so much sense. Yet I don't think I've never experienced. I don't, I know that in my mind, but I don't know that in every part of my being because I've never really experienced it, right? Like you have. Yeah. And it's very interesting because you could know it, right? Like, oh, like guys are that way. I have a million guy friends. I know how they are. But when it happens to you,

it doesn't, it just feels very different. But you needed it to, like you needed to flip it. Like, you needed to be that other person in the scenario and then see how it really plays out and that makes you really realize totally i mean like after the first time i had sex with my boyfriend i remember just like walking home feeling just like lightness and freedom oh right it's like torture of a year that my brain was doing to me uh-huh um and so yeah so i felt like oh i want more of that feeling um right as opposed to going backwards and be in that terrible place that you and your husband were in for such a long time. And I'm assuming, because here I am thinking in my mind, because I'm not like you. Like I haven't had,

I haven't, you know, had that experience and been able to sort of understand that, right? That maybe your husband, the reason why he's okay with you doing all that. It doesn't have those crazy thoughts like you had, right? Is because he also knows that it's possible because he was doing the same shit, right? You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, So he's not worried you're going to leave him. He knows you love that person, but you could love him because that's what he's done in the past. Yeah. I mean, I think probably at the beginning he was a little bit worried about that.

But I think the more I've proved that, like I kept saying, like none of those changes in my feelings for you. And I think he had to see that in action. And so far, like I've been true to all of that. He's seen that like nothing has actually damaged or changed things that's super for the better. So each step of the way, the more I ask for, like, he's more inclined to give it to me because he's seen that, yeah, nothing has been a surprise or a bad kind of surprise in the past. Let me ask you this. Do your friends and family know about this arrangement, or is it kind of like a secret thing? My close friends know.

My family does not know. And, yeah, nobody else really knows. But my close friends know. My close friends hang out with me and my boyfriend. and they hang out with me in my husband. Right. And that's the same for him to his close friends know, but his family doesn't? Yeah.

I mean, I think less people in his life, you know, but I think that's just of necessity because he's not the one with his boyfriend, you know? Right. Are you guys still in therapy or you're done with that? Yeah, I know we've been in therapy forever before we even got married just as like maintenance. That's cool. So you're always going. You always see the point in that.

Right. That's great. He just keeps the lines of communication open. And so now get to the point where you and your guy decide to have a threesome. Because that's what eventually happens, right? When does that happen in this year-long relationship? Let's see. So that happened a month ago.

Okay. Oh, and this is with the boyfriend, not with a husband. No, I know that, right? How does that come up? Because it was a year. You've been with this guy for a year, right? So you're dating him like a couple, like how many months? months and then 11 months whatever and you say and he was he always talking were you guys talking

about it did you ever do that with your husband or would this be a new thing I've never I'd never had a three-sum before okay I haven't really thought about it too much it wasn't something I was dying to do uh-huh um my boyfriend has had several threesomes uh-huh um maybe a four-sum or two and it wasn't like he was constantly talking about it or asking me to do it I just knew this about him and that he, that was like a thing he likes. And so Justin talking about like our sexual histories, I would ask him stuff about that and like what he liked about it because I had never had that like huge desire for it. And I knew my husband, like my husband and I had talked in a vague way about threesome's and he was just like not just not down for it, but like a ripalced by the idea.

Oh, okay. having to deal with like two people's desires and emotions at the same time. So, but then the more I talk to my boyfriend about it, the more I rethought like, oh, I see how that would be appealing. And so I started thinking about it and I thought like, you know, that's something I'd like to do before I die. And if I'm going to do it, this is like the perfect person to do it with. Yeah, totally. Yeah. So then...

Now, how did you know that? Because I know that, like, the whole thing is that, like, your husband didn't want to know about it. So I'm assuming that at some point you said, hey, this is what we're just doing? Or did he not want to know about it because he just doesn't want to know about anything, sexually? Did he know that there was a threesome maybe coming up? And he was like, don't tell me about it? Yeah, he knew there was one coming up and don't tell me about it. I told him, like, I wanted to do that.

Uh-huh. Asked him how he felt about it. And he said he felt open. okay about it but didn't want to know about it at all he didn't want to know if it happened when it happened he just wanted to remain ignorant um you know said like it's fine with me and just tell me about it and um i'm sorry totally blink out of her and now the threesome is with a woman right it's not like you and two guys right like this is you it could have been me and two guys we were looking for both you know okay so your guy had done

both things and he had experienced all of that and so and so you were open you were like you'll do either a woman or a man you were into both yeah okay so now you've only done the woman thing do you still plan on doing the guy thing with him I'm assuming on maybe yeah I mean that's

that's a possibility and now did your husband ask those specifics or he didn't even want to know no he didn't want to know well no the first time I mentioned it to him it was theoretically going to be this one specific woman who is my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend and so I had said that

and yeah he said he was I didn't say it was definitely going to be hurt but I said like this is who we're considering you know so I guess he assumes it's a woman I don't know right so the first thing so it does it wind up to be

his ex-girlfriend is that the woman that you wind up having the three-sa with no it ended up because she is in a relationship that is I guess in a monogyn. of a stage right now. Uh-huh. That's a possibility.

So we went on OKCupid. We found somebody there that's awesome. Now, was she, because OKCupid, I was on there once. To me, it wasn't like a site where you're like, oh, I'm by and I'm into like threesomes. Like, it's more to me what I remember, like more like a dating site. But like, how did you know that this person was into that? Is there a part where it says that on?

Okay, Cuban, I don't remember. Well, on OKCupid, you can make a couple profile. Oh. Oh, interesting. I didn't know that. Okay, so you guys made a profile together? Yes. Okay, and then this girl responded.

And we were just very explicit about what we were looking for. What were you really, what were you looking for? We said like we're looking for, you know, like someone of any gender to be like, I guess, are with us sometimes. Uh-huh. Did you have a specific type, like where you look at, like, whether there's anything? Because had you ever been with women before? or was this going to be your first time?

I'd been with women before, but it's been a long time. So this was before your husband? Yeah, before my husband, yeah, yeah. Okay. So did you know what you wanted in a woman or what you liked, or was it just, like, more of the experience that you were open to all kinds of, like, women? We talked to a few people.

We were sort of texting with, like, a couple of guys. Guys first? Oh, it wasn't that we were specifically looking for guys. It was just, like, two of the people. who responded to us were guys that we sort of liked in the So what happened with the guy?

Well, they were just like these cute nice guys and we were sort of texting with them and at some my boyfriend had said like he like I was thinking of it as this was like those persons who was nice, they're good looking

and it would be fun to like watch them and my boyfriend do stuff and whatever it'll see like acceptable to me and he at some point said like oh no I just want to make sure some guy that you're like really into and you want to like tear his clothes off and I was like oh I don't want to tear any of these clothes off wait wait say that again he wanted what he wanted to make sure that the guy with someone I was like crazy attracted to but wait he was he's also by like he was going to get it on with the guy do you want to see that he's not by but he's by in like for a recent situation.

Like he'll do stuff with a guy, but he doesn't like. Oh, yeah, please. I've had so many guys on the show. Like, yeah, I've blown guys, but I'm not by. Newsflash. Yeah. You're by. Okay.

That's what it is. That means he's not gay. That means he's not gay, but he's bi. By means, like, just sexually. I don't even think he's by. I think that he's situationally by. Okay. There's so many women who will, like, do stuff with another woman for a guy.

and they're not by right but is he doing it for so you're saying like he would just do it for you not just i mean also he says like the novelty of it is interesting to him but in order to like come he has to be looking at the woman and thinking about her um right okay i don't know i believe him there's no reason to act like he's like i don't oh no no i don't listen i don't think anybody's lying when they say things like that every what i find interesting is that everybody has their their own brain and their own way of framing things and telling their story and seeing things, right? That's all I'm saying.

Of course he's not lying. That's how he sees himself. Like I said, I have so many people that call in will say, yeah, like I had the guy fucking me in the ass, but like I'm not by, like, you know, because of this or that. Or a guy that says I finger with him, but I'm not cheating on my wife. Like he doesn't believe he is. Do I think he's lying? No, that's what he believes himself, you know?

But I just think it's always so interesting that like he doesn't. consider himself by but he will in situations and he has been with men right in the past but he just in these situations yeah right it just he would never be with a guy just on his own right okay so he so he so he was and because he he wasn't that into the like he wasn't that particular about the guy he was more interested in you being very into the guy and that freaked you out and turned you off or something what was it didn't freak me out I just realized like oh I wasn't even considering that I would be like super it's hot for this person. I was just thinking

about the experience between being between me and my boyfriend. Uh-huh. And like that would be hot to sort of have sex with them third person together, but I wasn't even thinking like, oh, am I supposed to like really want the other person to? He, that's probably what's hot to him.

I can't tell you how many guys, like I never knew this until I got my podcast. Like how many men are really into watching like their woman with another man and how much that turns them off. It's like a thing. Yeah. It's a good thing that guys have.

I guess so. Or women, too. I mean, women could have that, too, that kind of desire. You know, it's just so, and some men are just wired that way. So what he really wanted to see, he wanted you to really, it wasn't about you and him to him. It was, he wanted to watch you really with someone else and really enjoy it. Well, he wanted me to enjoy it. Yeah.

And I think that, yeah, in order to. And it's not like he wanted to, like, watch someone else taking us. I mean, you know, he's, we. We're married to other people. It's not like he has some feeling of ownership over me that could get. No, it's not ownership. I think it's just straight up. No, no, no.

I don't think it's an ownership. It's just straight up hornyness. Like, it's just what turns a guy on. It's not that deep. It's just sexually speaking that that's something that some men really enjoy. He would like to watch. I was surprised at how much I enjoyed when we have our people watching him. There you go.

See, it's the same. That's all I'm saying. It's not about anything more than that. But that's all I'm saying is that's what he really wanted you to really enjoy it. He didn't want you to do it for him. He wanted you to do it for you. Because he wanted to really believe. He doesn't want to watch you like sort of acting with somebody else.

And think about it. It's the same situation with you with him, right? Like you saw him with another woman and you actually, that was like a turn on. It was, yeah, it was totally amazing. Same thing. It was so, it was amazingly hot and a surprise. So, yeah. So I was like, well, these guys are like good looking and everything, but they're,

there's nothing about them that makes me like oh i really need you have this guy right rip his clothes off women we don't feel that way about a guy until we like care about them that's what men don't really understand it's like a different kind of a thing right with men yeah and so then this woman wrote to us and i really liked her personality and her message i thought she was really cute she was uh and i said like okay this person i actually feel like i could be really attracted to Uh-huh. So, like, what do you think? He was into her. We started texting with her. We became, like, we just clicked. People are going to write into me and say, you never asked, like, scale of one to ten, I asked all of my callers. Scale of one to ten, what are you?

I need to know, because then I want to know what this girl is, and I want to know what your boyfriend is and your husband. We've got to do this fast because I want to get the whole story in an hour. This is really hard. Come on, just say it. Nobody knows who you are. Just be judge yourself. What are you? A scale of one to ten.

On your best day. We all have a range, right? Like, what's your best? What are you? I would say I'm a, I would say I go, I would say I'm a 7.5. On your best day? An eight. Okay.

So you range from a 7 to an 8. You average 7.5. Okay, good. I'm on a shit day. probably a six. All right. That's what you think. You're probably a seven.

I think we're all worse than we think we are. I don't know. Okay. So anyway, and so what about your husband? I would say that my husband is like, yeah, a, like, a, not the same. About the same as me. Okay. And now your boyfriend?

I would see my boyfriend is probably, well, let's see. I think he's like, you know, a 10, but objectively, with like that exam based. They think he's more at like a seven. Okay. And now how old's your boyfriend? He's exactly my age. Or no, he's one year older.

He's 47. I'm 46. We're old. Okay, so you're the same age. So, yeah. And now the woman that you guys wind up like hooking up with, wow, how old,

what's her scale, what's her? Oh, she's hot. I would say, like an eight to nine. Okay, and how old was she? She's 32. Okay. And now.

Now, is she in a relationship or is she just like single and looking to mingle? Like, what's her deal? She's more looking to mingle. Yeah, she's single. Yeah. Okay. So you guys wind up meeting her because like you have a history now with her a little bit. Like you guys did this about a month ago, but like you're seeing her now also outside of that relationship.

And that's like this little kind of secret that you have from your husband because he doesn't want to know about the threesome. So you can't tell him about the girl because then you'd have to tell him about the threesome. But you have met her outside of it. So obviously it was. went well. I think you told me that in your email. So how did that go down? Like where did you guys meet? How did it happen? Okay. So we met in a bar at a hotel that we had also gotten a room just in case. Uh-huh. That's smart. Uh-huh. And like, you know, and if she didn't want to do anything that night, that was fine. Like he and I would have used the room. And so yeah, we had drinks.

and then we went up to their own. And what went down? Like everything and anything? Not everything and anything. What did it happen? There's so many like weird and bears. And for some people I get details. I don't know.

She had her period. So she, we didn't do with no, like we didn't, we didn't, we didn't penetrate of sex. Uh-huh. But we did basically everything else. It was just really, it was, here's what I did. expect. It was 100% positive. There were like no weird feelings, no jealous feeling. It was so fun. It had a really light sort of innocent feeling to it. It felt like a slumber party. Like you don't realize when you're going to have a three-sum that there's like a lot of the time.

There's a bunch of time that you're not actually actively having sex where you just feel like lying around and like talking and telling stories and stuff. And that part was also great. like we get along with her really well she's someone that like we both were like oh we would be friends with this person anyway and you kind of knew that going in right like we need that's what you were also looking for that right because that's what you said about her right totally that was yeah i like her as a person we got along as a person we could joke around with her she was funny she's smart um and then yeah and then there was just like a crazy sexual connection between me and her that I also didn't expect and then she didn't expect

that made it really fun right and now so she had her period like did you go down on her like she just had a tampon in she had a tampon in the whole time I thought pretty ballsy of her for her first three children yeah she just she just want like she didn't want to miss the opportunity

yeah and that was also fun with us there's like plenty that you could do um so I didn't go down on her that night but she went down on you I'm assuming put down on me that night and trying to remember yeah she did I think a little bit

okay um yeah it wasn't it felt like it wasn't like all these discrete acts like then we did this and then we did that there were just like hazy memories of something happening watching that getting involved in that maybe going over on a side of a person It just felt like very organic and fun.

Yeah, I think that's the way that it happens. It's not like a porn. It's not like you watch it. You know what I mean? It's not like all scripted, right? It's just like that's probably like what it always like sort of happens. If it's not, I think sometimes when there's like tons of alcohol involved, I mean, I'm assuming that you guys were completely tinged, right?

And so this wasn't just like a crazy. You know, I think I've heard stories of the reasons from people, especially guy friends of mine. And then maybe they're just like telling stories. but like where there's a lot of cocaine involved and alcohol and it's just like a lot more of a crazy kind of situation, right? Because they're like half cocked out of their minds, you know? Like you guys were probably

a lot more sort of aware of what this situation was so it was more real. Like it's like that's the way it really goes down. Well since we knew that that's what we wanted to do like we made sure we didn't like drink a lot. Uh huh. You wanted to be present like you didn't want to be completely

wasted. Uh-huh. Yeah. I mean like I'm a lightweight so I had like one drink. I think they each had two. And then, like, I do like to smoke weed. So I said, like, it was actually a perfect entree, not even planned. I was like, well, I don't really like to drink that much. I more, I'm a sooner. But, look, if you want to come up, like, I have weed in the room. And that's what we did. We went upstairs and, like, smoked a little bit. And then we had sex with each other. You are? Then we all had sex with each other.

Right, that's great. Now, because you felt this like strong attraction to her, right? You guys, I'm assuming, exchange numbers because you've kept in touch with her and you've seen her now as well outside by yourself, right? Like you're a certain, right? And what's that been like? How many times have you seen her? I've seen her twice. Uh-huh.

It's been super fun. It's been, how has it been? I don't know. It's been really fun. It's been like we've had sex. It's been really hot. And where do you meet up with her? Like at her house? Like does she have a place? Because she's single. Like do you go to her? Because this is like now something that you're doing behind your husband's back. Right? He doesn't. It's not really behind his back because he doesn't want to know about it. Right. So where you... He doesn't want to know about it. And he's given, I mean, it's not like something that I'm like not allowed to do that I'm doing. Exactly. Right. Like there are parameters around those that make it okay. But I also feel like, well, I told him I would tell him if anything changed. This is a big change. So I have to tell him.

But the thing is, he doesn't want to know about the threesome. And that's something he asked for. He specifically does not want to know anything about it. It doesn't want to know when it happened, if it happens. In order to tell him about this girl, I have to tell him where I met her. No, well, what you do is you tell him first that you have a woman that you're fooling around with it. When he says, where did you meet her? You say at that experience that you don't want to know anything about.

Like, I mean, then he's going to have to know. Like, or you say, like, you don't want to know where I'm at her. Like, I don't know. But, like, you know, he has to know, though. Like, if you, it's either like you either, like, not tell him at all and, like, whatever. I mean, do you feel like this is somebody now? Because you like her as a person, too. Do you feel like maybe you're going to start having, like, is she going to be your girlfriend?

Or is she just going to be, like, somebody that, like, you fool around with. Like, what do you think is going to happen with her? I think it's going to be somewhere in between those two things. So, she's someone, I feel like I'm going to have an ongoing friendship with. And you'll fool around with her sometimes. Now has, like, the sexual and romantic elements to it. So there are romantic elements, you think. Because I know she's looking for, like, a person.

And I don't know that she'll, she's. You know, she's right now doesn't think she wants to be monogamous, but who knows? But I think I'll know her after those, like, sexual relationship friends. Right, but you do think it can get romantic, too. A little bit, yeah, I do think so. I don't know. Here's another thing is that there was a while when my husband was telling me, okay, so I have a high sex drive.

Uh-huh. My husband is older than me, is not as strong as mine. Uh-huh. My boyfriend is not quite as strong as mine, and so that leads them to sometimes say no when I want to have sex, which should be fine with me. I know it's not like I'm working on this, but it makes me feel rejected sometimes and makes me feel bad about myself. And my husband started out as a joke suggesting, like, I get a she called it a sex boyfriend. Uh-huh. He was like, you need a third person who's judged for sex.

who's like a young person who just wants sex all the time. Right. This is recent. Like this is after you guys with the like, right. Okay. So he said get another guy on top of it. And he said, I mean, he was like, okay.

How much of a joke is? Sometimes he would go, no, I'm serious. So, um, so yeah. So then he gave, it wasn't even like a permission situation. We just sort of talked about that and it was clear that like we both, like, that's a funny idea, but kind of a good idea. Uh-huh. Right.

So I feel like I don't think of this girl as like my sex girlfriend, but she kind of is my sex girlfriend. Yeah, totally. She fills up that void. I mean, it's just like, it's just like a booty call. She's like someone I really like having sex with and I like hanging out with. And like I, yeah. So. I'm not just like sitting around waiting for these dudes.

Right. And it's something different, right? I mean, you felt like you were very, it's something that, like, no guy could give you, right? If, like, you have this, like, intense chemistry with her, she's a woman. It's not like you can go find that from a guy, right? You have two guys, but this is, like, something else. It feels the same to me. Excuse me?

I mean, the chemistry thing, that feels the thing to me. It doesn't, like, the sexual attraction and energy and chemistry, it feels the same as it does with a guy. Right. Okay. But, I mean, the mechanics of it. It's, like, a different kind of a thing, right? Like, she has tits and a pussy. Like, I mean, like, maybe.

you'd miss that if it wasn't her. Like, now you just dick all the time. Like, maybe you realize, like, you like this, too, and that's, like, maybe the missing thing. And now you feel completely satisfied. Maybe you weren't completely satisfied before because maybe you were missing. Right. You know, what a woman had to offer.

Who knows? Who knows? I don't know. You should know. You know, you're pretty self-aware. I mean, I think what I missed actually more, to be honest, is that it's someone who just, like, really wants me all the time. Sexually?

Or emotionally? Sexually. Or both. Okay. Sexually. Because I feel like I'm always the person wanting more. Mm-hmm. Right.

You just tend to attract those kind of guys. Well, you're, you're. It just makes me feel sometimes like, oh, am I just like not? What? Yeah, you should deal with that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's a little weird. You should deal with that in your therapy sessions, maybe on your own. I certainly do.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, because that's like weird because you have like, you have like your emotional needs met, hardcore, right? Like you have a man who really super loves you. you've been with him for a long time. You're pretty successful at that relationship. You know, you're a relationship person. You've been in love. Like, you know what that's about.

You know how to connect. You know how to be intimate. Like, you got that taken care of. So it's, like, interesting to me that you have this thing. Because I have the opposite. Like, I don't have the love. Like, you know, that's where I have the problems. But, like, you have this thing where you also have an insecurity,

whereas someone doesn't want to screw you, like you take that personally. Whereas you have all the emotional stuff and everything else. That's interesting. I know. It's crazy. And it's crazy because I never saw myself as a person who, like, put any of my self-worth or self-image in whether, like, my sexuality. I didn't think so.

But maybe now that you're just like it, maybe now it's like, you know, listen, you had like 20-something years with the same person having, like, this specific sort of relationship, you know, that common thing that everybody has, monogamous relationship with one person. And now that you're out there and you're experiencing all this stuff, like maybe it's just like you're it's triggering other parts of yourself that are coming up it maybe like that would happen to a lot of other people if they sort of wandered out there and fulfilled all their stuff so it's just probably like broadening you and so therefore it's like bringing up stuff that you didn't know and maybe it's it's probably a good thing because it'll just make you even a better person because now

you know that you have this insecurity you'll work on it and you know five years from now you'll have that down too and who knows where you go from there you know I just think like it could get messy at some point because of this girl. Like I could see six years from now like you're being in a monogamous lesbian relationship. We don't know. I'm telling you. You don't know. We don't know.

Like with you, I feel like it's like an evolution. And I don't know that this is where everything sort of stays. This might be like a phase that you go through for a while, but you might wind up back. Who knows? I don't really know, but it's interesting. you know, to see where it goes. And it's interesting also that like so many people have these kind of relationships. Like, look, it's like you and then that guy and your husband.

Like, you know, it's like, and I've had other people call in. And so if like there's two people on my show, there's probably two million other people doing it, you know. And it's like, this is what goes down. And it seems sort of complicated, but not really once you really, once you ask a million questions and get the whole clear thing. You know, it's a little bit more complicated now because the woman is sort of added into the picture. It's not complicated to you because, right, you know exactly what you want and this is a new thing and it feels like really right. It may get complicated. It is a little complicated to me. It feels like a little bit like. Well, because you haven't told your husband yet. Right. Right. Is that what

it is? Everything feels like chaos. Yeah, that is what it is. Yeah, you need to. You just need to. Oh my God. You just need to tell him. I don't know why you're so afraid of this thing. It's no big deal. Listen, it's not like you kept the threesome secret. He just doesn't want to know about it. But that's like a technicality that will have to be like bypassed because you're going to have to like but i wouldn't say hey right i wouldn't lead with that just say listen i need to tell you that there's like a woman that i'm pulling around with like you remember you said the sex buddy well i got one it happens to be a woman and then and that's it and maybe he won't ask where he met him what does he need to what does it matter where you where you met her i don't think it matters i don't think it matters i don't

you're wondering okay if he wonders then that's where you say listen you didn't want to know but it's that thing that you don't want to know about that's where I met her. A big deal. Like it's not that big of, I don't think it's that big of a deal. Not listen, not in the scheme of things. Think of all the stuff that your guy sort of deals with and he's cool with and he's okay with. Okay, he'll probably be even more okay with a girl. Like, what does he give a shit about? Maybe he'll be like maybe. Or he will be more okay with a girl, but that's, that fuck's that he would, but it's true. Right, maybe. Like, you know, what is that going to really? I don't think that, I think the problem might be when you start to have feelings for her. And I don't, I don't, I don't. know that might be complicated it may be a little weird for you i don't know what happens but i think he'll be fine with it and i think you should just get that off your plate and just

tell him already so you don't feel like you're doing like the secret thing you know because you guys have come a long way from that kind of stuff you know and when that was going on in your relationship it wasn't healthy it's very toxic to relationship lies and you guys you know are above you're so above that now you've been through a lot with him it's just just tell him like it'll be fine it really will be okay i think my my my hesitance is like oh my god i've given him so much to deal with already and he asked for one thing to be ignorant of and like immediately i have no listen if it was if he said whatever you do don't have a threesome and you did that i would be concerned for you okay all he said is don't tell me about it you're not telling him about it

you're telling him about somebody that you're seeing and the thing about her is you met her her at that time. You're still not going to be telling him about it. He's not going to know anything. He's just going to know you met her there. He's not going to know the details about it. He already knows that you had one. So it's not, it's no more information. He doesn't know I had one. He just knows I was, I'm going to or have. He does, you know. Okay. So he pretty knows. So you had it. It's okay. It's not really, it's not really. It's not bad. But it's good, but like it's making you feel bad. Like you think it's bad. And I think that you need him to tell you it's okay. And you need to do that.

No. Yeah. No, I just need to tell him the truth. I just always so worried of like I'm making his life so chaotic. Yeah, of course. Right? Because it's like, and it's chaotic for you. And you're like, how much could this one person deal with?

Especially the fact that he's not doing anything. Like it is a lot. It's another thing to add on. It's another layer. That's where I say, like, it could get complicated because like it's when you say the romantic thing, it's just like that, you're like, hmm. So, you know, maybe that might freak him out. I don't know.

you know but give him just a little bit of information just tell him yeah just tell him remember that sex but keep it as like she's your fuck buddy like I don't know how much you want to say about the you know like you could you could be romantic with her he probably won't ask that much

I mean it's not like you're in your nature to lie it's not in your nature to lie but if he yeah you seem like pretty straight up person so if he asked you you're going to tell him and like I think like I said in the beginning like people can handle the truth and he'll be okay with it he'll be able to navigate it I think because you're not going anywhere yet and you know I think you're just like sort of sewing your wild oats and he's coming along for the ride and it's just another part of it yeah okay I'll do okay I'll do it

do it and we need an update we do a part two you know it doesn't have to be a whole hour long even if it's because I have another update from another show I need a couple updates to make a one hour update show you know we don't need to fill it in but like I really want to hear how it goes I really think it'll be fine and I and I really do as long as you just like just lead that way don't say oh remember the three somebody had a blah blah blah but I think you know how to do it I don't need to give you any I think you know the deal and you'll be fine yeah and maybe this will make him inspire him to then actually um black with someone else yeah you don't know I would love to have him on the show because I would love to pick his brain yeah yeah

Yeah, but it's because he's older, I guess, I'm like not so horny and he's a relationship guy. I like, I get him a little bit more from what you said about because I was thinking like maybe he's lying and he really is. But, you know, maybe it will push him in that direction. Maybe you'll all right. Do it and keep me posted. And then I'm going to do we need an update like an on the call update. Okay. Even if it's five minutes and everything was great, I want to hear about it.

Okay. All right. Good luck. Thanks so much for calling it. Thanks for your story. It's very interesting. Okay, cool. Okay, bye.

Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available not only in paperback and ebook, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang being girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person. And they're all true. I took the interview and

rewrote it in the third person. And I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like Penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. 17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format, and finally, the audiobook is available coming out August 25th. But you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord. My Discord. does not disappoint. Okay. There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link

from me. Okay. I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other. And that's what you get to do there. You could post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total strictly anonymous community and you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord. It's private, like I said. All you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook or the paperback.

Send it to me at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. That's strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. And I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in. I think it's