Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 270 - Comedian Robert Kelly on Why Women Cheat

Episode Date: February 11, 2019

Comedian Robert Kelly calls in to discuss women cheating, cheating sex, happy endings, swinging, marriage, kids and the issues that come up in a marriage after the kid is born. He comes clean about the problems he's had with his wife and how he's dealt with them as well as talks about why women cheat, how to keep women from cheating, swinger sex, the ins and outs of happy endings plus a whole lot more. **To see anonymous pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. The Craigslist is definitely like the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Singapore or Thailand. You can't not do it.

The temptation is just too much. Your friend know that you're banging her or no? No, he has no idea. And anything goes. The motto of the show, let your freak flag fly. Probably the only good advice I'll ever give you is to rehire. your wits and change. Here is your host, Kathy.

Hey, welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast with Kathy. If you want to follow the Strictly Anonymous podcast on Instagram or Twitter, follow the show at Strict Anonymous. If you want to be on the show, I'd love to have you on. I'm always looking for interesting guests. And interesting to me is a lot of things. I'm interested in most things.

That's just the way that I am. I think that I had a guy email me recently who is just a fan of the show and Rodin and I love your podcast. And we've been sort of, he's been emailing me little tidbits here and there and he's super cool. And I was like, hey, do you want to be on the show? And he's just like, I'm just like a regular guy and I'm not really that interesting. So I wouldn't be a good guess. But I personally think most people, if you talk to them for long enough, are pretty fascinating. At least that's what I think.

So, you know, if you have a problem and you need unprofessional. advice or just like someone to talk to I you could be on the show if you have a secret life that you want to talk about in a and remain anonymous you could be on my show if you do something sexual that is really interesting and out of the box and maybe you're not doing it secretly maybe you do it openly but it's something that most people don't do that would be a great topic for my show too you could be on the show so if you're any of those things or just want to be on the show you write me an email at strictly anonymous podcast at gima.com and i'll have you on um so today i have on robert kelly a lot of people who listen to my podcast know robert kelly because they

found out about me through listening to robert kelly's podcast because i was on his podcast Robert Kelly's a comedian. He's really fucking funny comedian. You could get his info or see his stuff and find out where he is on Robert Kelly Live.com. He's also been on Louis, Louis CK's show. He's his brother. He's also on FX series sex drugs and rock and roll,

which is really great. And I got picked up for a second season. So you'll be seeing him on FX again next year. And so I have him on the show. today and I didn't really I mean he's my great friend and it's always great to have him on because he's really fucking funny and interesting and he's a guy that's like really introspective and he's very self-aware and he he's very open about that which is always great to hear because I think you know he's when he talks about things it's like you know he's like a regular guy but

because he's more in touch with his feelings and he could express it it's like a very helpful to other guys to hear I think because sometimes guys can't put two and two together the way that they sort of feel and sort of express it, but when you meet another guy that can and who's just like you, I think it's helpful. And the topic that we talked about today, because Robert Kelly's married, he had a kid, and recently his relationship was starting to get or feel a little distant because of that kid. They were at one of those sort of crossroads in their relationship where things were feeling a little bit distant and things were a little messed up. And he was always calling me up talking about like cheating and women cheating and all of this. He was like, he was going

through a time where a lot of his friends, wives were being caught cheating, and he was, like, obsessed with women cheating on men, and we would have these conversations. I thought it would be a great podcast, because I think a lot of guys out there have either known guys who got cheated on, or maybe they're worried that their wife is cheating, or they know that women cheat. And women do cheat, and that's what we talk about. We talk about why women cheat, when they cheat, and, you know, what you could do to maybe not let it happen. I'm going to have another podcast, This month. Maybe this is going to be, the December is going to be that, you know, girls cheat on guys month because I taped another podcast the other day about a guy

whose wife cheated on him as well. And it's a very different situation when women cheat on men. And we talk about that too. We talk about all kinds of things. We even end up talking a lot about happy endings and dirty sex and swinging and all that kind of stuff. That's just, you know, you never know what Robert. That's the great thing about talking to him. He's really super open. and he's really fucking funny and we talk about all different stuff so I'll be right back on with Robert Kelly why you sound enthused to have me on

I was actually being like unenthused because I know you get irritated by me easily so I was being like very chill not unenthused like very relaxed maybe even like hot I love that yeah I like it I didn't know that I like that yeah that's how you like me I've done it before with you

I do like you sexy and hot Right, which means like no personality, like not like me to the one power. Yeah, you know when I, you ever see the movie Iron Man? Yes. Remember when he like put the boots on and he flew for the first time? Yeah. And he put it up, he put it up too high and he hit the fucking wall. Yeah, that's me regular.

Yeah, that's you regular. And then when he put it down to 1% and you can fly. Yeah. That's where I like you. I like you. I like that one percent. You, me to the one's power I think it's the perfect power

Okay, you know, I would say the same thing about you Yeah, I think so too I think most people would like you to the oneth power But that doesn't ever fucking happen Hang on one second, I guess There's no funny to this podcast Why? I have to

I have to look at my directions Oh shit I don't want to wind up in Camden Jersey and get murdered Totally we okay okay so listen so I don't know what our podcast is going to be about I think we should talk about man cheating not like men cheating but cheating that happens to men oh okay I actually know a few guys that have that yeah and I don't know if I could be honest and you tell me if I can but what I would honestly say is that recently I have gotten calls from you with questions about the whole cheating thing and I was kind of like what the

fuck's going on with you like you like you were kind of like you're kind of like it's like swirling around in your head as well is that okay well I mean you didn't ask you just said so well I always know I could edit it if you say what the fuck

Kathy well it's gonna be a weird cut no I know how to edit well I think look I don't I look it's not about cheating I don't want to I mean cheating is something

that you should philosophize about. Because I think if you keep it in and you don't talk about it, you don't reason it, you're gonna fucking do it. Or you're gonna flip out one day. No, I wasn't saying about you talking about cheating. I was talking about you worried that your wife was cheating.

But are you like just really sort of thinking about women and them cheating and stuff like that? I don't know if that was. No, no? I think, Well, what was happening with my chick? It was more, this is what happened. It was a, I stopped communicating with my chick.

I stopped, I stopped talking to her, like, you know, like connecting with her. And we were just, we were just together. We would just, you know, we became just there. And, you know, it doesn't happen all the time. It's happened before, you know, a lot of times we just connected and we're, and it's the happiest kind of world, but sometimes it's just there's a disconnect

that I think it has to do with me going on the road helping by herself, me being by myself. Having a baby. It's a survival technique. Having a baby, yes, that too, but I think it's a survival technique to get through being alone around the mind. And

you know, with me putting on weight not being at my physical best you know because my my chick's on love of me when I was sexy bobby and she's put up with up to down but you know the last couple years I've been fucking best

right like you're as fat as you can get I don't think you could get fatter right? Well I could you could oh fuck yeah no you can't how wider can you go like what else are happy is just going to drop that's funny

you're literally saying I'm the fattest I could be. Yes, you are the fattest you could be. Listen, Robert, I've always been, I care about you enough to tell that to your face because you're like, I always want you to like slim down a little bit. I mean, you're cute fat and I'm a chubby chaser. So it's not like I don't like bad people, right? It's not that. It's just that you're in that business.

I know what you, I know your max potential. I've seen you at it. I know you could be there. So I, and I think you're a little wired like me, like you're motivated by insults. Like you're up for the challenge. You like the truth. So, you know, I give it to you because I think you want to lose the weight. It's not you calling me fat. It's you saying I'm the fattest I can get. Well, you are. You look like if you put a pin in you, you'd fucking burst. Like you're like, you know the girl on Willy Wonka, the blueberry girl? You're like the blueberry boy.

You keep adding more insult, you fucking cunts. No, I hear you. I mean, I understand. But I think, I think, you know, me not being around and us, you know, the kid, all this shit. And then you don't talk and you're not fucking around. And you're not even, you know, you'll find out when you have a kid, it's hard, it's hard. I mean, you know, you know, you.

you don't have a dude there all the time like me, but it's hard when you're the baby, when you're the guy and then all of a sudden it's all towards him and he's the most important thing of the world to her and then you're fat and you're not around

and you're not fucking around. It's a lot of shit goes into that. And then you're like, wait a minute, baby, you're still fucking cute, you're still sexy. What are you doing? What are you not fucking? What are you not? Are you not fucking anybody? So it's like, I'm trying not to fuck everybody.

And you're worried that she's not, like, that's why I believe it's maybe a little bit of a projection, right? Because you're feeling that disconnect, right? So I think what's very natural for a man to do when he gets a disconnect and he doesn't feel like close to that woman, he's looking at all the variety around him, especially you're on the road. You have a lot of girls like that would blow you backstage like in an instant, right? Like, I mean, it's like, it's pretty available for you, right? So it's, so you have that disconnect. Maybe you're doing it. So then you're thinking, like, how could she not be thinking the same thing or whatever, you know?

Well, it's like, I know my wife's hot, and I know she's hot to, you know, a certain type of guy, too. You know what I mean? Like, I know that the dudes in our neighborhood or the, you know, Mexicans love her. You know what I mean? Oh, Mexicans love my wife. Really? Why do you think? That's interesting.

I don't know. Because she's just, she looks like a fucking Mexican goddess. You know what I mean? She's like the hottest Mexican chick ever. Oh, she's Mexican? No,

she's fucking not. She's American. But if she was, she'd be like the like, fucking polka hantis of Mexican chicks. You know what I mean? I'm never going to look at it at dawn again the same way. I'm always just going to picture her sitting in front of chips and salsa.

Yeah. Okay, so she just, like, Mexican guys love her. Like, you can't bring her. Yeah, it's like, we had a lot of Mexicans working on house, you know what I? You know, this, I mean, look, you just get, first of all, I think instinctually, you know when something's up. Totally, but what, right? Absolutely. But do you think that that's where you're paranoid, because this is the deal.

This is why I bring this up, but because, listen, men do get cheated on. Women do cheat on men. And there's like all the time. Yeah, all the time. Yeah, all the time. And there's different reasons for it. And me and you like to went into all this kind of stuff. Like there's the biggest reason they're fucking lying cunts.

It's not that simple. No. If you're like there are there is one kind like you had called me up and you we were talking about a couple of your friends. Like every situation is kind of different, right? You were talking about one of your friends who was with a girl who massively cheated on him. And I was like, yeah, but like that guy attracts like, buy. bipolar, total, like, psychotic girls. You know, I'm like, that guy dates those kind of women.

Those kind of women always cheat. But that kind of woman is very rare. You know, when you get a normal woman that cheats. Yeah, but that was one of them. One of the guys that got cheated on, I'm not even kidding you, Kathy. I would look at their marriage and be like, wow, man, they have a great marriage. Like, what a fucking, it was a great story. you know how they met

and the kid and the love and it was just a great story of fucking like wow and I remember seeing them places and I'd be like man I like them as a couple they're just great and they're always happy and they're always trying and then find out that she was banging

dude dude like while I was you know while I was thinking they were the best couple of worlds oh yeah well me was thinking in but why do you but if you were in their release Like does that guy now sort of have an idea of why it went down or I mean I think it's really oh

I think it's right but I'm sure her girlfriend's like he maybe they do but he has no idea here's the problem It's like look when you when you see a couple and they're miserable And they're not cool you know they're not connected or whatever and you find out want the chicks cheat Yeah, all right I get it here you know But when you see them and they're just the happiest person the world the conversations are happy and about school and about future things and blah, blah, wow. And then, like, she was banging some dude that week. Right.

But what was the exact story? Was she having an affair? Did she get drunk and just bucks a one? That's two guys I know. That one, it's not, you know, substantiated, but pretty much it's, you know, when the, when all of a sudden the things that you do, you know, I always say when the real love was when you find a woman that accept you for the piece of shit that you are.

That's love. Totally. When all of a sudden they stop liking those fucking piece of shit things that you do, there's something up. Right, but don't you think that a lot of times, okay, with you and Dawn are different

because I think you guys have like a really good relationship. You guys were together a long time before you kind of changed and you went through a lot so I found like you guys have like a much more evolved relationship. A lot of people with regular relationships, those ones that are really

sort of horrifying to watch, but the ones that most people have, I find that a lot of times what happens is the woman hates those piece of shit garbage things right after she nails him down and got the ring and they're married and has a kid. All of a sudden she's like fucking complaining about everything. Like that happens

a lot. Because what happens is and this is the sad thing about women is women, like we go in knowing that a guy's a piece of shit. Okay, we know that. Because people will be like, well, she knew that he was a fucking ass also what the fuck you know but it's that women think that they're going to change a man it's just in their nature and it's not a bad fit quality about a woman to feel that way that's a woman

yeah but women women think some women think they're going to change a man but some women want to take care of a man right and but that's the same thing but it is the same thing like a woman sees a man as a piece of garbage and she wants to make him better not because she's going to benefit from it because she cares about it's a part of loving the man it is a little different it's a part of loving the man It comes from the same place. Let me explain the difference. Sure. The woman that comes in wanting to change a man, it's a challenge.

It's, you know, she wants to make him a better person. The girl that comes in that wants to just take care of the man is fine with the way he is. It's almost abusive. No. It's almost, it's like she kind of likes, you know, like, you know, the way he is because it's kind of a sick, whatever. thing that she just always has to take care of him always has to make you know make his dinner do this do that and take care of him and take his shit blah blah but the girl comes in and says i want to change and make him a better person that's a that's a different thing and you can run into

you can run into a fuck uh a fuck you conversation with that girl yeah but that's most but that's most women most men are pieces of garbage okay it's very hard most women do not partner up with guys that are like so great okay like seriously most guys are gross they're not so great and most girls so most girls pick up as somebody that needs a lot of work and then they decide that they're going to work on them that's most women okay but what happens unfortunately is that and I see it all the time I see it with my sister-in-law I say they think that a man's going to change they definitely believe that they'll change when they have children and they think of course they're going to change and I have children

like they're going to see the baby and we're going to be so much closer and they're going to be better people and then they're the same scumbags my brother's still like on his broke back fishing trips in a baby and she's crying every time he leaves and he's like That's who I always was. It's just like, yeah, but I know her. I'm a woman. I understand. She thought you would change.

And I understand that. As women, that's how we feel. Is that a controlling thing? No. Does that come from a bad place? No. Do women still going to do that? Yes.

Are men going to change? No. You know, I don't like when you say guys don't change. I mean, I've changed. No, people do. Listen, people do change. I've changed. I don't believe that people don't change.

I didn't say that. Yeah, guys don't change. Of course we do. Human being changed. Totally. Sometimes it takes, sometimes though the catalyst is, someone cheats or someone gives an ultimatum.

We all know that change, Robert, because I've done a lot of changing you have, does not come, like, in an easy way. A lot of times it comes from your wife finding all of your dirty orgy vacation pictures on a computer.

Okay, that's how your change came, right? Yeah. Yeah. Well, you have to hit it. Some people don't evolve, though.

Some people do. I mean, you and me and certain other people that are constantly changing for the better through going through the worst part of themselves. Yeah. You can't, yeah, you have to do it. But I look, back to the thing about cheating with women, it's like I literally said to my wife, I go, look, I know you're not cheating on me. And I truly believe that. I go, but I feel like how could you possibly not? You know what I mean?

Right. So it was really a projection about the way you felt about yourself. I said, how could you possibly not? I go now. That's like really clear. Like I feel like that's like that's really probably deep down inside what every man is thinking in that situation, but they don't put it two and two together. Do you know what I mean?

But that's where they're coming from. And she said, baby, you know, first of all, Number one, I have a two-year-old, which this is totally made sense. I'm with a two-year-old every second of the day. So unless I'm banging dudes holding Max, which is disgusting. It's not impossible. Right, which actually turned me on for a little bit. I don't know why that did something.

I was just a fucking chick holding a kid, sucking a dick. But I was like, okay, that makes complete sense. and, you know, she said, you know, I love you. I love you. And this is, my life has just changed a lot. It's all about Max. And what do we have to make changes? But I never and would never, ever do anything like that. So it was just hard for me to know that, you know, she is a good person, you know. and she is not me. It's hard to believe sometimes people aren't as fucked up as big. Right.

But I think men don't really understand that women are wired. I mean, I think you understand this, that women are wired different sexually too. That's why women cheat for very different reasons. This is what I explained. Like, my brother was cheated on in his marriage. And, you know, a lot of times it's because you are neglecting your wife. You know, if they don't cheat, a woman doesn't cheat because she,

walks into a bar and she sees a guy's bulge and she gets horny and she takes him home and she fucks him. And that's not how a, like, that's not why a woman cheat. She doesn't cheat because she sees a man and she's physically turned on and she's got to fuck him. That's like why a man cheats, right? A woman will never cheat like that. She cheats because like a real, a defect, like a woman that has a lot of dysfunction might get horny for a stranger and just want to fuck him. And that's like a sabotage move because she has relationships and she's got issues. But a solid woman that cheats on her main.

cheats because for a really long time she complains she speaks about what she doesn't like she you know expresses her dissatisfaction and the man just fucking doesn't listen do you understand by the time a woman's but you also she has she has most of the time you know given a lot of like sort of chances for that guy to fix a situation before she goes and find somebody else yeah to take over but you also have to have to have that other piece of shit dude there at the right moment going totally oh yeah and what guy's not going to step into that because he's got the hot girl at work right that's married that he's always like that's a piece of ass and now she's complaining about her husband and he sees the inn and cheating sex i'm sorry to say

is always the hottest sex okay there's something about it we all know that scratches the itch better than any other scratch around right oh my god I mean, there's nothing like having some... Like you're fucking... Even a married guy's wife? Come on, you know that that would be hot, right? There's nothing better than coming on a wedding ring. Exactly.

My friend went to, like, Japan or some shit, and met a girl, and she had an engagement ring on, and she was blowing him, and he said he was turned on by, like, watching it, like, up and down on his diggle. She was blowing him, like, that's, like, what's wrong. Some fucking poor Saps fan. Family heirloom has your fucking DNA all over it. Oh, God. I mean, like, the most, like, the most normal people have wound up in the backseat of an SUV fucking, like, the principal in the, you know, in a parking lot. Like, and it's her best friend's husband.

Like, shit like that goes down. And, like, there's something about it that's always sort of, like, the naughty stuff is always kind of hot. So that. But here's the thing, though, I would leave my wife. If she cheated on you. No. If I found that my wife was taking a fucking hot one, I wouldn't. You're not getting, you're not getting out of it that easy.

I'm not just going to go, fuck you, you cunt, and leave. I'm going to fucking, we're going to work through it. You're going to go to therapy. You're going to have to deal with it. I'm not fucking up my kid's life because you fucked up with one of the, you know, the seven deadly sins. I'm not, you know, you fell victim to your own horseshit. Because she fucked her ex again.

well i'd dump her if she did that of course no i'm kidding if i walk in his shoes with the plumber i'd buy oh my god i just like really you know i know two men whose wives left them for the electrician that is not out of a porn it is like real life like they fucked the electrician had

a relation like literally was cheating and married the electrician well look man it is you know doctor guy he's been on my podcast before his first wife left him for the electrician Oh, you fucking, he's a doctor? Yeah, he's a doctor. That's so fucked up, man.

Yeah, she left him for the lecture. She was cheating on him. Such a downgrade. Totally. I mean, imagine. That's why he's like on my podcast, like two episodes. He's like having a midlife crisis at 50. That is so fucking nuts, man.

Mm-hmm. That's true, though. Well, here it is, though, is that, you know, I mean, you, your husband's not around. You don't see each other. You don't talk. You don't even fight. And then all of a sudden, this guy, there and he's kind of cute he's in your age bracket he's stocking in he's laughing you giggle it

have a glass of water he's fucking oh yeah i love your hair oh really because i just got a cut dummy he didn't fucking say shit about yeah and then but can i say something that's when the bulge and the fucking arms and all this that's when it starts coming into play after the fact uh that that happens and then it's like oh god and then at that point all the dude has to do is to do is his cock out go oops no then he has to start wooing her you know he's just got any guy with game is going to get that girl it just happens do you know what i mean yeah yeah if i if i let me tell you so if my wife ever cheated on me i would make her live with me and torture her fucking every day what do you mean i would just be there every day well first of all this is listen if your wife

cheated on you and you called me up and were like devastated and want to leave her i'd be like please like doesn't she get a pass like you did she caught you cheating massively. I don't care. We weren't engaged. I don't care. Look, man, it's different. She stayed with you.

Exactly. More of a reason for her to have walked. To have walked. You're misunderstanding it. Okay. She didn't stay with me. We stayed together. That wasn't a fucking her decision as well.

It was my decision. It wasn't a, hey, if you don't have a cheat under me again, I'll stay with you. It was, look, you either get help or I got to go, and I went, I'll let you know. I have to make that decision. Because if I'm going to make the decision, I'm going to really do it. Right. But I might not. So that was my choice, too.

That wasn't just her choice. Okay. That was two grown adults, okay, who weren't married, didn't have a kid, weren't engaged, were dating, doing a weird situation. We were doing a weird thing for a while. Like we were friends, and then we moved in together out of convenience. And then we were in love compatibility-wise as human beings. Me and Dawn, I've loved Dawn from the second I met her as a person. And we were compatible.

And it's an absolute fact that all relationships that have lasted, marriages that have lasted until death, main thing. compatibility. The main reason is combat. Not love, not sex, compatibility. And like what do you, I agree. What do you, like, I think it's important to explain what compatibility really means. It's not like you have the best fucking sex. Like, what is compatibility?

What are you talking about? I'll break it down real simple. You can be in the room with each other for more than three hours and not want to punch each other in the fucking head. Exactly. Okay. You can be together for days on days on days. And you like being with each other. And me and Dawn, me and Dawn, I love being with Dawn.

I've always loved being with Dawn. But I, but what happened is, is after that situation, I had to go work on me. Because my issues of, you know, shutting down, not letting people in, having issues with chicks, I couldn't, how could I really love her or anybody? because I really wasn't really even digging myself at that point I was just, you know, career, career, career.

And then it was like, oh shit. And then I remember waking up one day and just being like, I'm the luckiest man alive. This broad is fucking gorgeous. This broad is my type of girl. Okay? So that's gorgeous to me, right? Maybe not stereotypical gorgeous

like, you know, my friends, whatever. her, but to me, she's the one. I love her. I love her eyes. I love her mouth. I love her ass. I love her.

My wife's got a little tiny, she got no ass. I love that. You know what I mean? She has no ass? She got a little tiny fucking boy ass and I love it. Big fat fucking tities. You know what I mean?

So it's like that, all of a sudden my eyes started opening. And I was like, wow. You know, as I got healthier in therapy. therapy, all of a sudden I realized how much I really did love her and how lucky I was. And we've, that was the one thing that was fucked up to me. It's like, you used to love me way more than I used to love you. Mm-hmm.

And now here I am. You have a kid that all your love is going to right now. Oh, yeah, I think that's very difficult for men. And that happens, that is always going to happen. And I think that's why a lot of times marriages go south after a child is born. because a man wants to be number one, and most women will choose their babies over the man. Oh, fuck it.

And they should. Absolutely, exactly. Yeah. You're not a baby. No, I'm not a baby. I'm not a baby. I'm the fucking husband and I'm the father, and I have to grow the fuck up,

and I have to, you know, be the guy and the man and the family. Hey, you know what? Okay, so it is what it is for a little. a while but yeah and it does look man you know i'm not saying it don't have feelings it should hurt and it bugs me and it hurts a little once in a while but you know as long as you talk about it and get it out in the open and go bub you know come on can you throw me some love while i'm on the road you know because look i'm out there for fucking four days by myself you know i can't get any affection

from anybody the way i used to i used to get it from hookers i used to get it from chicks You know what I mean? Oh, you know, I can't do that anymore. I can't. So, Baba, you have to give it to me. Yeah, this is what I have to say, though, just to men in general, like as far as women cheating, what I try to explain to my guy friends about cheating with women, because women will cheat. They will after a while.

If you, like, a woman is not a potted plant. You can't, like, water her once a week and think that she'll be okay. And that's what men want. typically just by nature I think you know want to do the least amount of work and get you know what they want out of it like I just don't think a lot of guys want to put a lot of time into their women they want their women to do all the stuff and be hot and fuck them and blow them and everything they don't want to talk to them they don't want to listen to their film they don't want to do the stuff that women require them to do like I said they are not potted plants they do have needs and they're very different needs than men you man needs, right? And they're irritating to men, just like the needs of men are irritating to women. But if you don't tend to them, just like if you don't tend to your guy, sexual needs, he's going to go fuck that hooker. You know, your girl's going to go fuck her boss at work if you

don't tend to her needs. And her needs may be annoying to you, but that's her needs. And that's how women are. And any woman that acts like a lot of guys try to find women that don't have needs, and all you're marrying is a girl that's shoved them down really down. And they're the worst. ones that are really going to cheat on you because they're never going to express them and they're going to go behind your back and do it because every woman has the same needs they do want to talk about their feelings they want they need companionship they can't you just can't give them money and fuck them and call it a day you know what I mean and go out well you know what it's just it's something about a woman cheating that being worse than a guy cheating yeah

because we're more personal yeah we're expected to cheat and you guys aren't you guys are you guys are Women are more in touch. Women love and women do this. And to cheat on somebody means you're disconnected, you don't love. You're not being honest. And that's, you know, in relationships, you know, women are the best and men are the worst. But so when a woman cheats, it's fucking a little more devastating because it's like I thought you were the one who was supposed to communicate. You were the one who was supposed to, you know, be in touch of your emotions and your feelings.

you know, it's a little more fucked up. Well, it's much more, you should take, I believe, I'm sorry to say, because I just did a podcast with somebody who was cheated on a guy, and I said to him, like, I think that there's more shame in a man admitting that he was cheated on than a woman because men, and I'll tell you why, though. Because if my man cheats on me, we all know that men are just pigs, and maybe he didn't even like that girl, he just fucked her, didn't mean it. It doesn't mean he doesn't love me.

He just needs variety, right? needs a new pussy. It doesn't mean anything. But when a woman cheats, it kind of does mean something. It either means you married a psychopath or you really were a bad guy and you were really lacking. And so it's, to me, it's much more personal to the guy than it is to a woman. When a guy cheats, you're just being a guy.

When a girl cheat, you're being a whore. No, but she's not being a whore. You're not. But no, that's the thing that, like, other guys. When a guy, if I said, if I said to guys, oh, I was cheating on my wife. Ah, dude, with who? With that, you know, if you said my wife cheated, what a fucking slut bag. Right, but it's also embarrassing because I think another guy knows, like, why you couldn't fuck her good enough?

Like, I'm sorry. Yeah. Just a big, uncircumcised cock in your chick. Yeah. Yeah. And imagine she's fucking the electrician and you're a doctor or she's fucking your best friend behind your back. Like, what's that all about? I think it's much more devastating.

And that's why I think men need to listen up. They do need to know that women do cheat, okay? But they really will not cheat right when things start to go bad. They won't even cheat two years into things going bad a lot of times. They wait a long time. Women, I think, are pretty, they're a lot more decent than men, okay? They are. They put up with a lot more garbage before they go stray than a guy, you know?

And they will stick with a relationship. I agree with that. Right. I think that's true. I mean, yeah. I mean, look, there are some, there are some, I know of some hoary stories of these women who are just out for dick. Yeah, but like I said, those are the girls that have a lot, they have a real emotional problems. They're damaged, you know.

They're not bad people, but something's really off there. And most of the time, if a guy has partnered up with that, something's wrong with him too. Do you know what I mean? Because you could smell a shit from a mile away. Don's a good girl. You married, then that's obvious. So if Dawn cheated on you, it would be a direct reflection of you being a, like, not tending to her needs and not being there for her and not listening to her.

And you guys, I know for a fact, have been on date nights. I've texted you and you're like, I'm on a date night with Dawn. So not only did you guys talk about it, you are implementing certain things in your relationship to try to make sure that distance doesn't become greater. And that's what it's all about. No. Yeah, it's, well, when you have a kid, you really have to, you really have to tie your boat to the fucking dock because you'll just drift away. Right. Because it's, you really do.

That's a good analogy, uh-huh. You really do. And you've got to just really hold on as much as you can't. Because you will get through it. We will get through. And when he gets older, he's, he doesn't need as much attention. Me and her are going to fucking do more shit. And, you know, and I still, I'm still into my chick, if not more now.

You know, but, you know, I mean, look, you know, this, you ever see those, the porn where they're at like a big, a bachelor's at party? Mm-hmm. And the strippers come out and they start stripping and then all the chicks just start sucking his dick. Even the, even the fucking, the bride. Oh, yeah, no, not really, but I could imagine. Oh, God, it's the fucking hottest fucking porn ever. Mm-hmm. Were one guy's getting just blown by everybody?

No, yeah, it's like, you know, the fucking, the bride is sucking his dick, and all of a sudden the aunt will come over and suck his dick. You know what's the point of that? The fat aunt. How did you get to that? How did you get to that with date night with your girl? And the baby's going to go. This is where you went to.

This is the leap you made. You're like, you know, my baby's going to grow up and we're still going to be compatible. And then did you ever see that porn where the aunt is blowing the guy and the wife? Like, where did that come from? Well, what's the name of this podcast? I don't fucking know. No, the name of it. What's the name of your show?

Strictly anonymous. Yeah, so I, I, I, well, you talk about dirty shit on here, but I just wanted to bring that porn up because there is something, the point behind it is this, there is something very erotic and very sexy about people cheating. Yeah, we were talking about that before. Yeah, there is, I mean, even though, you. you know, the monogamy and this, you know, that is something that you decide to have. And I think I believe in monogamy.

I believe that, especially now with all the fucking shit out there, and it just makes things easier with self-esteem and all that shit. I love those couples that are like, no, we, we swing. And that always ends. I love when those relationships just die. You know what I mean? Yeah, but I've got to say, Robert, no, I've had a lot of different people on my podcast and I will tell you I have met the breed of people and the couples and the breed

of guy and the girl that your partners up with it that it actually works with them okay you know what and I'll and I'll make my point yeah they're it's never the hot couple probably not I don't know what my people look like but you're totally right I'm sure it's not I'm taught when I say the I'm talking about the hot good looking comic with the hot chick oh I know the one I know the when we all know that used to be with the models and they would have had it never works out swinging swinging works with fucking mediocre people and below okay but i've always said this and this is very true of my life and when i was really young that's why i love talking this because i always wanted to get to a place in life in this lifetime i want to get to a place where i love somebody enough

and get through that to the point where i trust them so much that i don't feel ownership in that department and we could like fuck a lot of people and have like all kinds of crazy sex women were like 60 like I aspire to that I really turns me on can you say that again sure but leave the 60 part out that ruined it okay your old fucking wrinkly box I know I know but I but you know what who cares at that point I do think though I have met people on this podcast that actually do it I think you have to be in a certain mindset you have to be in a certain place but I do think it can work most of the time it doesn't but I do think it can and I aspire to that but I have to get to a point where I can even have a relationship where I love somebody and trust them like I think you have

to do that first I have never done that you understand so but I think then you could get beyond that at a certain point if you really trust the person and your best friends and you're together for so like what does sex really matter yes I mean sex isn't really it doesn't it's the least important thing it really is and it's not intimacy when you and Dawn are 70 together okay you're you're what is matter if you guys are fucking you do it together I'm not saying go and have affairs separately I'm saying go have parties where you have all kinds of sacks I don't know I think that's fun I think I mean I truly and I mean this and it's I I really truly just love fucking hanging with her yeah that's very I love being around her I love coming home to her you know and it it took a while

to fucking be able to open that that fucking passage up in me to trust a woman to trust a woman enough to, you know, love her. You know, so, you know, it's,

I don't know if we'd ever get to the point where I could trust it enough to fucking, you know, take a dick, but. To me, it's beyond trust. It's at the point where you've been together for so long. You've been there, done that. It's, what is it? But you guys have sexual needs that maybe,

You can't sort of give to each other anymore because you've been fucking each other for so long. And you still want to have sexual experiences, but you want to do them together because you're best friends and you know you're dying together. And what does it matter? It doesn't, you know, it's not a relationship. You know, it doesn't, it's not intimacy. It may sound corny and it may be wrong. But I would like to get a grasp on my sexuality and have some type of quote unquote normalcy now in my life. because I've done so much crazy stuff,

I would like to try, it would almost be a challenge to try to be, quote, unquote, normal with my wife and, you know, do stuff together. And then be able to, you know, give that to my kid so that, you know, sex isn't, you know, sex was me. I had to learn on my own,

and I learned all kinds of fucked up shit, sorrow kinds of fucked up shit. You know, sex was all crazy with me the way. I would like for him to be able to talk to me and be honest with him about, you know, me and your mom are sexual, you know, is normal. This is what we do. And I've done stuff in the past, but this is what I think is the best route. I think this is, you know, I don't know.

I'd like to pass on, I don't want to pass on craziness them. I'd rather pass on a normal, simpler thing that actually works and then have them go wherever he wants to go. I mean, if my kid wants to, you know, fuck a million broads or suck a dick, I don't care if that's what he wants, but I don't want to steer him in the wrong direction because of my fucking weirdness.

I don't want him to come home and see the Mexican electrician, you know, bopping his mom. You know what I mean? I think that would, you know, but, I mean, it's not going to happen, but, you know, it's a, it's a, it's a fucking, this whole topic of sex and cheating and desires

and fantasies and limitations and it really is a you can literally go any which way and it's never-ending you know conversation yeah because i was even thinking when you were saying oh you want to be clean and normal and whatever and i'm like okay but like beyond because when i was younger i was like you i acted out sexually a lot i had a lot of like dirty sex and it was like really hot and like really great and i was a little bit wired improperly right and so i clean my act out up right i've been sober for 13 years and I've had regular sex. But what I really enjoy now, because I feel like I've come very full circle and I still am somebody that has like, you know, an imagination and I do like dirty sex, but I think that

you can have dirty sex in a very clean way with another person that has the same kind of dirty mind, but who is monogamous and wants to do that and is doing the right thing or is in the right place, right? And so I think that you can. can have that dirty side of you, but do it in a way that is okay, not the way we acted it out, right? But it's like I still have that side of me, though, you know, that does think dirty things and is imaginative. And so I feel like, you know, the greatest thing would be at this point now that I've cleaned my act up is to do that kind of sex. Yeah, but someone in a real relationship with a good guy that has a dirty mind.

Yeah, but you're talking about harmless dirty sex. When you cheat on somebody, you're potentially killing. Right, right. No, I'm talking about it. And then you take that relationship if it's really solid after 10 years and then you start having sex with other people. That's the singing aspect of it all. That's all I'm saying.

Yeah, no, that's fine. But if sex is hurting another person that's not involved or involved, I don't think it's good. No, no, I don't believe in that. I mean, I'm a very monogamous person by nature anyway. But I know I don't mean that. I just mean that like I know that you had a side of you that was very one way. And you came and you change yourself and you went totally in a different direction. And now you've been very normal quote unquote with your wife and monogamous and you've had this relationship with your wife with a baby.

You've you've you've been there done that. Like I don't know. I would think would you maybe have the desire to like sort of maybe be like within this relationship sort of like. You know, a little bit. Yeah. Not yet. Okay. No, not yet.

But I don't think that, that doesn't say that in the future, it doesn't go that way. Where it's like, let's be. A little bit more dirty. Let's like, like, yeah. You're right. And that could just be something that revives your relationship at a certain time when you need that, right? But I think it's really good that you stay very present in your relationship. I think that's a part of being very sober and being present in life that you could really see when your relationship needs.

help and you know and that's what men should take from this podcast because I think most people are so distracted by so many things and that's why their relationships go to shit because people just want to brush things under the table or they want to look in the opposite direction and you know like I said a lot of men think their wives are like a potted plant they could just do the little bit of work is just going to grow and it's just not going to happen and things go to shit and by the time ago by the time a woman says I want to leave you she's done. Do you understand? There's no rationalizing with her. She's been

complaining for the past five years. That's a fact, okay? When a woman will let stay with a man with 1% hope, okay? If she has lost all hope, and she only leaves when she's lost all hope. When a girl has zero hope, you're done. You will never

get that girl back. So while that you have 1% chance and your wife is complaining and she's nagging you, if she's still fucking there doing your laundry, like that's time to do something about it. You know what I mean? You still have her. Even if she fucking hates her, she's still there.

If she's not cheating on you and blowing your brother behind your back, you still have that chance to make it right. I just feel bad for couples because I don't think we know what we're getting into when you decide to have a child. And I don't think you know

everybody says a hard, blah, blah, blah. But nobody talks about a hard it is on the relationship between you guys. and how you it's just you can't help but disconnect

you can't how can you fuck when you're coming home at this time and she's coming to bed at this time and you're leaving at that time you're never even on the same fucking playing field

and then when you are you're fucking exhausted I mean there's so much that goes into it so it's hard and I think you know it goes away and there's people that have two or three kids

and it's like fuck me I don't know how they do it yeah that's it's just I think that that complexity is never weighed into the factor and then all of a sudden you find yourself in this mess and you don't know

how you got there and all you want is to feel compassion all you want is to feel a soft touch all as you want is to someone to tell you how good looking you are how hot you are you know, kiss you. And you know what I mean? It's like, you know what I realized that I, I told my wife this, I go, we need to be more physical.

I need you to, and I need to, to you, like, be, kiss each other more and getting each other's necks. You know what I mean? Hold hands. I was, when I did the TV show, sex drugs. Mm-hmm. And they had to put a wig on me to do like a, you know. Yeah, the flashback. Right.

They had to do the flashbacks. And I remember I had to get my, they put this wig on you. It's real. It's like a, you know, a thousand dollar wig, it's real hair. And they put it on me and I had to get a haircut. And I forgot how erotic getting your haircut is. Like having a woman touch you, you know, slowly her fucking vatch area rubs along your arm and you know how she's touching the back of your neck and talking to you i was like oh my god this

i was like oh god i remember getting my hair cut you know i've been bald for fucking jesus 15 years now so and it's like geez it feels so good just having i was like wow and i went home and i told my wife i was like i you know i got a haircut today and it was the fucking best i felt in a long time i go we got to fucking do something you know right all right oh my God. I never knew that men felt that way about women that cut their hair. Because what hairdressers do, what strippers do,

they give you, they let you believe that there's a chance. Just how nice they are, and how interested they are. And they talk and like, oh, I love that. And then they're slowly, softly grazing you.

Right, their tit, like their tit rubs up against your arm, right? Tits are on your back. Or they're on your face if they're really big. They're touching your back, your ears and your ear. You know, these little soft spots that never really get touched. Mm-hmm. And then they're playing with your hair and looking at you.

And it's like, it's fucking erotic. Oh, my God. Is there hairdresser porn out there? There should be. I'm going to fucking. My friend works. On tube galore, I'm going to fucking type in hairdresser porn. Yeah, let's see.

Because listen to how you're talking. I never knew that men were so hornyly. I know a friend who used to fuck his hairdresser, I guess maybe that's how it went down. Like, that's what it's about. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's fucking, it's so sexy getting your haircut by a sexiest thing ever. Right.

So you took that home and then have you and your girls played a hairdresser or fantasy? Like, have you guys done that? No, we, I told you. One time we tried role playing and Dawn was an anesthetician, you know. And I was like, all right, cool. I want you to be a massage therapist. She was like, no. I was like, why?

And she's like, because it's too close. And I was like, that's not even the fucking ballpark. It's like, she works two doors down from you. And she's like, I know too many. And I was like, nah, I'm not this bullshit. We've got to know a big fight about it. And I was like, fuck it. You wanted her do like, you wanted to play like a massage with a happy ending thing?

Yeah, I wouldn't know I'm not a happy ending. I want to fucking ate her, I would ate her box or whatever. Right. Well, even with happy endings, don't you, can't you do stuff like that too? Doesn't happy ending sometimes are either. So there's certain ones that are happy endings. happier than others right yeah well you can I would imagine you could always negotiate but why aren't they always upselling my friend told me really

about a great happy ending he had where he was like fingering her and she put her shirt down like I mean there was shit that went down why I don't want to finger a fucking 38 year old Chinese woman oh I don't know he said his girl had a really outbody are they always well maybe really I mean I mean Look, there's some of them that are really nice, I guess, back, you know, you go, I don't even understand it, though. You go to get a happy ending, right? You get a great massage, and then they roll you over, and they fucking just drain the juice out of your dick. And it's over, and then you can just be on your fucking way.

And, you know, you start adding condoms and fucking it. I don't want to fucking do that. Wait a second. You have told me, though, about. Like, maybe it was a hooker you were with. Like, you had a girl that was like you went to town with her. Was she a hooker or not a happy ending person? I could add to that.

Yeah, but back in the day, back in the day before the internet, regular squares like yourself would, you know, work at massage parlors. Or, you know, you go in and see, you know, a blonde, a brunette, a black chick, Spanish chick, an Asian chick. Because, you know, now they all work, you know, for themselves on Craigslist and shit. Right. So when you were, when you got a happy ending now is just Asian ladies.

Right. It's just and they're not, you know, they're hot. Well, this guy was traveling abroad, so maybe he was in a place where the girls were hot. He wasn't in America where he got that hot, happy ending where he, like finger her,

did all kinds of stuff. Yeah, I mean, back in the day, you could go, I remember there was a place in, I think it was Kittering Maine, right over the border. There was a place, a little massage place,

but it was all, smoking hot 20 year old white chicks. You know what I mean? Like chicks you'd see at the mall We're fucking banging dudes for money. Right, so that's what I'm saying. You didn't just get them to, they're stroking you out. Like then you're going to do other things with that.

Yeah, but those girls, I don't want to do it with a fucking old Chinese lady, you know? Right. I feel bad. Right. But it's interesting. Like you'll just close your eyes and let her like stroke your dick. Like it let her jerk your off as it's fine. Well, I won't anymore. but back in the day, I would

because, first of all, I couldn't afford it at some points. You know, I couldn't afford the extra 60 to get it to blow me or whatever, but yeah, I would, you know, it was just an easier thing. It was almost a natural progression of a massage. You've been grazing my nut for the last 40 minutes.

And, you know, and so all of a sudden I turn over and all my dick want to do is come, and you just three strokes with hot oil and then, And you clean it up and you finish the massage. How great is that? Right.

Yeah. I was wondering, like, does that, oh, I have a friend who went in, a woman. I was driving with my old co-host Tommy the other day in the city. And he pointed out one of the best happy ending places in the city. He was like, oh, I was like, could a girl go in there? Like, could a girl go in a happy ending place? My friend was fingered in a happy ending place. But I think by a guy.

But, like, could women go in happy ending places? Yeah. Really? Yeah, women go in happy ending places. I've never seen it. Yeah. You know what I mean? I take that back.

Yeah, there was one place. I remember I was in one place. What they have now? They have massage places, legitimate massage places. Mm-hmm. And you can go in, and it's just, you know, they have a curtain up in between beds. You know? You know what I mean?

In New York City? No. It's not even like separate rooms. It's just like a big open room. Like the operating room when you come in and you're like all on the same? Yes, exactly. The emergency room. Yeah, the emergency room.

Not the emergency room. Exactly. Like after you get an operation, you're in that room and you feel like you're on a spaceship. You're all laying there in slabs. No, like the emergency room. You go in and there's like curtains separate. Everybody has a bed, but there's curtains. Yeah.

Same shit. Like there was some old English lady just, you know, yapping in the next bed. It was just annoying. And she was getting, but these are happy ending places. No. Well, they're not. Like, she's just getting a regular massage. But, you know, I told the lady, you know, I want two hours just legs.

You know what I mean? So that means legs and dick and balls. That means, look, either jerk me off or you're going to rub my legs for two hours. You know what I mean? I'm going to jerk you up in the first 20 minutes and get my money. Yeah, you fucking, you know, so it's like, there you go. Oh, my God, that's all right. Because what they try to do is they'll get you to do a half hour.

Then they'll tease your shit, get you to do another half hour. Then you'll tease you more. And they get you to do another half. And then they roll you over. And they want to, you know what I mean? It's like here, two hours, just legs. There you go. Fuck, face.

That's so smart. And then they don't waste their time with all that teasing. No, fuck that. Out. And then you. A fucking little rub you done. Oh my God, this is great. Okay, I don't know how we got into talking about massage with happy endings.

And I don't even know what this podcast was really about. I just think it's interesting for people to listen to guys. I think this podcast is really good for guys, regular guys that are married or dating girls for a long time. You should listen to this podcast because I think there's a lot of interesting information in it. Like I think you, you know, and I think the takeout here is that, you know, you need to pay attention to your marriage or your relationship, especially if you have kids or if you feel like you're getting distant and maybe do something about it. Like the stuff that you've done, I think, is really good. I think you and Don are in for the long haul and will last.

I've always admired your relationship. And I think, you know, you guys are really, you know, present in it and you pay attention. And that's really important. And so you're like a good role model of what to do for other people. So thanks for calling in and giving all that information. All right. Sounds good, Kathy. Thanks for having me on.

Okay, bye, big. Bye, bye. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available not only in paperback and e-book, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang being girl story. Like I said,

17 stories. And they're all told in the third person. And they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person. And I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like Penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. 17 of them. They're really short. chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format, and finally, the audio book is available coming out August 25th, but you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint.

point, okay? There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me. Okay, I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other and that's what you get to do there. You could post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total, strictly anonymous community and you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord. It's private, like I said. All you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook, or the paperback.

Send it to me at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. That's strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. And I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in. This is the Strictly Anonymous podcast.