Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 281 - Did Don Ever Wind Up Sleeping with his Therapist?

Episode Date: April 29, 2019

Don (episode #216) calls in to give an update of what’s been happening since the last time he called in. Is he still sleeping with escorts? Did he ever bang his therapist? Have him and his wife started swinging? Tune in to find out plus hear a whole lot more. **To see anonymous pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Here is your host, Kathy. Hey, welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast with Kathy. If you want to follow the strictly anonymous podcast on Instagram or Twitter, follow the show at Strict Anonymous. If you want to be on the show, this is a call on a device show

where I give to all strangers my unprofessional advice. Send me an email at Strickly Anonymouspodcast.com or go to my website, strictly anonymouspodcast.com and click on Be on the Show. If you could write a review, write a review if you haven't subscribed subscribe today i've on a guy named don he was on before episode 2 16 i think it is uh he was a guy that was cheating on his wife with escorts and he couldn't

stop and he was so freaked out about the fact that he couldn't stop fucking escorts that he wound up going to a therapist and then she was trying to fuck him and that was like a really interesting story because that therapist was very manipulative about how she was going about trying to get down his pants because she wasn't like blatant about it right she couldn't be right she's professional quote unquote but and at the end of that other show his first episode he hadn't done anything with her um and so we decided to do an update because he emailed me and said he had an update so i was like did he fuck the therapist is he still banging escorts what's going on with him and his wife like that's what we talk about that's what the update's all about

we get more and there was like interesting uh surprise surprises in this episode stuff that i didn't see coming. What happened, like I said, with that therapist, what is going on with him in escorts? Last time we spoke, just so you know, at the end of the episode, or no, actually, just so you know, he had emailed me right after the end of the last episode and said he was like, jonesing to see escort, and I sent him an email. Like, don't do it. We find out whether he did fuck that escort after I sent him that email and all that good stuff. So anyway. I'm going to be right back on with Don. Welcome back to the Strictly Notamous

Podcast. How you doing? I'm doing good and yourself. I'm doing good. I had reached out to you around the holidays when I typically do my, where are they now episodes, right? And we just never were able to schedule a call, right? Yeah, that's right. So this is your what's going on with you episode, right? It's like an

update episode. You, if people want to listen to your episode, it is, what is your episode number of the first one? It's 216, okay, right? Don. Yeah, it sounds right. Yeah, you were revenge fucking escorts, right? Yep, that's it. The quick story is like your wife was cheating on you, right? And then you went to go cheat on her, right? Yeah. And then you guys, though, after it all came about, and she found out, right, or you told her, what was it? Could you just explain the short story again real quick? And then we're going to pick it up for where you guys were about to become swingers.

Right. So how do you go from like revenge fucking escorts and your wife cheating on you to about to be swingers? Well, we had talked about it but never. We had talked about it but never actually done anything. It was one of those things where she's a little uncomfortable. She's still unsure of it. And I started going to see a therapist that sort of seemed to me like she might have been coming on to me a little bit. Oh, that one right. Oh my God.

How could I forget that part of it? Yeah. So that was where I think we'd left off the last time that I had spoken to you on the phone. But wasn't there something about your wife and you going to do stuff? Yeah, we've been talking about it. We've been sort of exploring it, but we haven't actually done anything yet. We might be getting a little bit closer, but I'll say that later. Okay, okay.

So yes, I forgot about that whole angle, which was so fascinating. There was a hot. I mean, she was hot, right? Well, yeah, for me. Or she just would dress up sexy. Well, that's it. Like, I guess everyone's description of hot is different. Like, I guess you could almost classifiers, maybe not heavy, but a little bit chubier.

But for me, I'm really into that anyway. I find everybody looks good in a different way. But for me, she would be like an eight or a nine out of ten for sure. Listen, more guys like that than they admit to. I don't know. I mean, you know what I mean? Like, please. Yeah.

It's all about proportion, right? Exactly. No, no. I'm the first to admit all. Like I said, it sounds cliche, but I can find almost anybody attractive in a different way. If we click, you know, like it, I don't care as much. Right. But she was, and I remember, like, in your sessions, she would, like, sometimes dress, like, with high heels.

And she knew that that was, like, your thing. And, like, you know, you'd tell her, like, what you were kind of into. And then she'd show up in that outfit. And we were trying to figure out me and you, like, whether she was doing that on purpose or maybe she just had a date that night and like you know like was it a coincidence or what and then the last thing we heard about her this is what i remember is she had asked you which was i think bizarre to do sessions with her at her house and we decided that you wouldn't do that right because it was getting close to the point where you might start cheating on your wife again right

you were going to her so that you could sort of stop that right and she wasn't really helping you And that's right. No, that's it. And the last time we talked, I don't remember, because it was last summer. My wife was gone for a week. She was gone out west to visit family. And so I was alone and sort of somewhat vulnerable. And I was, I remember I emailed you and you email me, email me back right after we spoke.

And then the next day, I broke down and I actually visited an escort. Yeah. You emailed me that you were going to maybe do it. And I thought I talked you down from the cliff, but I guess I didn't. No, it was, unfortunately, my urges got the best of me. But it sort of, if it makes any sense, it was sort of a, I don't want to say a good experience, but it sort of maybe helped me clear my head a little bit. Like, I'd always had questions.

Like, I think I told you, I'd go. And it wasn't like I went every week. It might have been every three months or so. And it was always not awesome. But I'm sort of I see myself as kind of awkward. I don't find myself super attractive. And but the one thing I've always thought I was good at was in the bedroom. Like and I've never, before all this started, I never been with anybody but my wife.

So I, you know what I mean? You never know for sure. And it's one of those things that sounds stupid, but it sort of gives you confidence. So anyway. Please let me just tell you really quick. I just taped a podcast yesterday with a guy who now know who I'm going to like air before each other. You know, but like, and he had an. affair with a much younger woman who was like really fucking horny and into like lots of things

and getting and his wife wasn't you know and having sex with her he said when he went back to his relationship because the end of the story was that him and his wife were better because of that affair and it was because having somebody that was so into him that way and him getting to experiment and do all these things made him feel more confident as well okay exactly what you just said no that's it and that's it like that day mind you it was a few months ago so it's kind of not all a blurb I remember specifically we texted back and wait the day that you went to oh no the day that you went and had the escort was like last year right after we spoke yeah okay it was basically a day or two after i don't remember exactly but it was a couple of days after and she's actually doesn't live very

far from me like maybe 15 minutes so it was kind of i was a bit not sure of it because you know what mean you don't want to get too close yeah exactly in a lot of different ways you know that's right so i showed up and it was a small place sort of sort of out of the way so it was not bad and i remember going in and i brought a few gifts with me i always try to give a little bit something sort of break the ice a little bit and we talked a little bit and what do you bring anyway what do you bring them like a candle like a candle wine stuff like that something like yeah something like that just and we all nine times out of ten you're Usually if I bring like a bottle of wine, we share it.

Yeah. It helps kind of open things up a bit. I'm not a huge talker, but it does help sort of, like I said, break the ice and make it a little less awkward. Okay. So you brought her a little gift. Yeah. And we talked for a little bit. And then we got down to business.

And I can remember it because right away she started going down on me. And I forget how she phrased it. And then she says, well, it's time to move on. She was, I've got to get one of those magnum condoms. And I'm like, I didn't know what that meant. Yeah. Because I know. So I said something.

And she says, well, if you want, you can touch me. And I'm always a little bit, it sounds dumb, but I'm a little bit in her. I don't like to just reach around and start going to town. You know, I kind of wait for it to get the sign. That you're allowed to, right. Yeah, exactly. Uh-huh. So I reached around.

I just started like caressing her a little. bit. I noticed right away she was like really, really, she was really wet. So I like, instantly made me feel good because like obviously she's into it. Yeah. And anyway, so I went down on her and we finished that and it was fine. And then after she sort of, I guess you could see I kind of looked, I don't know how to say, not confused, but I wasn't looking like I was super happy about it. She asked me, she says, is there something you want to talk about? And I said, well, I'm not sure. And she goes, well, somebody like, you can't be single. And I started to tell her my story as to about basically what we've talked about,

about my wife cheating and how I've kind of done this to, I wouldn't necessarily say it's revenge, but I guess it sort of is. But it's kind of to give me something back that I feel like I might have lost. I don't know if that makes any sense to you. That is what I told her. And she sat down with me. We talked for a little bit. And actually, we ended up talking for a good long time after the session was done, which was kind of funny because that's never happening before. Usually, if somebody, if one of them starts talking about girlfriends or wives or family, it sort of really ruins the mood ahead of time because that makes me think what I'm actually doing. Yeah.

So I don't like to talk about it because it almost gets me to the point where I don't want to do it. I feel really guilty before it even happens. Right. It breaks like the fantasy of it. In reality, it's almost like too much for you. It's not like cool. That's right. Okay.

And it seems mean, but I really prefer to go. And when I do it, I do the deed and I sort of get out of town because it's exactly the way you describe it. When you're finished, you kind of come down. It's almost like you're drunk and you're instantly sober. And you're like, what have I done? Yeah, you're like, let me get a puck out of here and take a shower. And I did really feel guilty because like I've told you, before all this started happening, I was 100% monogamous. I never, never did.

And every time I did something. And I'd been so long since I'd done anything. a couple years at least since I'd actually done it and I'm like fuck I did this after going that long with being a good boy and but the funny thing you had called into the show because it the urge was coming back up for you right yes isn't that what it was right and that was the thing going to my therapist it was just it was sort of I'm not sure but it seemed to like I not say aggravate it but it accelerated it because I yeah because she was feeding into it she was like remember we talked all about how instead of like

because I've quit a lot of things right and when you're like you know and the way I've done it is like especially with drinking because some of my moments of drinking were like the best times of my life like I had so much fun drinking and being getting fucking blackout drunk you know but I

never ever ever sit around thinking about it in my head I don't really talk about it you know it's just like it doesn't go on in my head I don't build that in there but what happens If I were to do that every day, I would eventually want to drink and I would go drink. What your therapist was doing was like creating conversations about it and getting it, planting

seeds in your head. And all that's going to do is like make that sort of desire come back and light that fire and then keep it burning. Whereas the best thing to do is just get it out of your head. Because it was out of your head for a while. You were years. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

That's why I said I had gone probably a couple of. couple years at least and I've been pretty good. I'm not going to lie, it had crossed my mind, but I never acted on it. It was one of those things where I sort of, that therapist was sitting there asking you questions, prompting you, bringing it all back up. Like, it just wasn't the right thing. So anyway, you wind up with that girl. Now, your guys are having like this deep conversation, right? Yeah. And because she was telling me she's in university and I'd asked her just conversation, like, what are you studying? Yeah. Studying to be a social worker. And I'm like, oh my God. And, she really took an interest.

I mean, like sometimes you can tell. And she seemed like she was generally concerned. She's telling me basically she's doing this to help pay for her. She actually is married and she likes to go to swingers clubs. And she took her a long time to find somebody that would accept it. So her husband has no problem with her doing what she does. Right. So that must make you feel better, right?

Yeah. And she told me, she says, it takes a special kind of person to understand the way she is. And she said to not, she basically said not to feel bad. And she understands she does this in her spare time. She loves, she loves sex. And she says, why not get a little bit of money to help her education out of it? Right.

Which I never judged anybody that does it anyway. So that wasn't an issue for me. But it's not like she's cheating behind her guys back. They're open about it. She's allowed to bang other people. Because I'll be honest with you. It was funny. She was telling me this.

I remember looking down and I said, does your husband live with you? She goes, oh, yeah. He's at work. right now. There's a big, a big axe in the corner of the room. I'm like, fuck, I'm going to end up on date line here pretty soon if somebody comes home. But it didn't end up that way. But it was still, like I said, it was nice because she and I asked her, I said, just out of curiosity. I said, I know it's probably the stupidest question of the world.

But because after it was all done, again, she mentioned she said something about the condoms. She says, oh, you have a nice big dick. And I'm like, do you say that to everybody? And I said, I know this is probably the dumbest thing. She goes, no, no, no. She goes, you were really, really good. And it's a very good size. I mean, I know that sounds stupid, but it sort of made me feel better like all these times that it's happened before.

It wasn't just somebody trying to get some extra cash out of me. Right, right, right. So it made you feel like, oh, maybe they really did enjoy it and they really liked it and I'm a good lover. And I was always, I was always pretty sure they did because I sort of took your advice. Like when you do the deed and you get done, you sort of feel to see if the nipples are hard. And they always were. So I was pretty sure of it. but it was one of those things that were even though I felt sort of guilty,

she made me feel better. And actually, over the next few days after that, she texted me a few times just to check in on me and make sure I was all right and wanted to see if I wanted to call her to talk. And I thought that was pretty nice. Right. That is nice. Okay.

But a little bit like crossing a line. No, that's it. But it ended after a few days because it wasn't like it kept going on for a month. It was just basically for the next few days. And that was it. I haven't had any contact with her since then. Right. Okay.

Cool. So after all that, she actually suggested the same thing that I probably not see that therapist again. So what I did was I called. I gave it a week and I called. I really hope you wind up like is this, wait, I'm so curious what the meat of this update's going to be. I don't have no idea. Does the therapist come back into this story? Well, I called and I canceled all my appointments that were due in the next day.

Yeah. Yeah, I think I had a month's worth or two months. I don't remember, but I canceled it up until the end of October, November, and I said, I just, I called her receptionist and canceled everything. And the next day, she called me back and asked what the problem was or if there, if there was a problem. And I just explained that stuff was going on and I wanted to make sure everything was okay. And I just needed some time away to sort of sort things out again. And she seemed okay with it. But after a couple of months went by, I decided I was going to take advantage.

My company lets me or pays for, it's a therapist, but it's over the phone. And I had done it before when everything first came out with my wife. And I said, just for the hell of it, I'm going to do that again, just to get sort of like a second opinion on things. So you basically get 15 or 20 sessions, I don't remember. So we go through it. And as I'm telling the woman I'm talking to on the phone, I explain everything that happened. And then I get to the part with the therapist. and she's the same thing.

Like she really crossed the long line there and especially the whole thing with inviting you over to her place. Yeah. And the, I guess the excuse with it was, it was closer for her than her work or something. I don't remember the whole exact story, but I spoke to her a few times

and she sort of talked, because I thought about going back at Christmas time just to sort of clear the air and tell her exactly face to face because I don't like to leave open. ends but she talked me out of it at least at the time she said at the very least give it six months before you go and do something like that because maybe the urge will sort of pass by both ways if she had any any urge maybe maybe that'll help but I also told her about all the other

stuff that had been going on and she she seems that because I told her like it's not that I it's not that I it sounds bad to say but it's not that I necessarily want to stop seeing other their escorts and this like that. It said it's, but I know in my head that it's wrong because it's exactly what pissed me off to begin with with her because she was doing all this behind my back. And I had been good for so long. But at the same time, it's sort of a, it sort of makes me feel good in more ways than one. And she said that to it's, it's almost like, I forget how she worded. It was something like when I met my wife, I sort of got into the same everyday routine. And you don't and especially in my case because we hadn't seen anybody else besides that you didn't

really know if you were i don't know how you how she was like how almost like capable of the not loving but pleasing somebody else and like you said it's kind of nice to know that you can do it and it's not all in your head yeah so she basically like i said told me to stay away for a while and I haven't gone back to that therapist yet, but she has reached out to me in the last month. Who? The one that invite you home? Yes. She reached out to you out of nowhere?

Yes. What did she say? Because it was only because it had been, I think, over six months or eight, I forget, six or eight months. And she was just reaching out to see if I'd be interested in going back because before it goes to be. No one. It was a second. It was a separate therapist that said wait six months or a year, right? Yes. Yes.

So this one didn't know six months. She wasn't following any rules. Like what made her contact you after all that time? That's weird. No therapist ever contact somebody and says, hey, do you want to come back to see me? The only thing I can think of is because when I called originally and I explained everything, I said, I'll give it a few months. This was, I think, October or November.

So it had been three months. So I said, I'll give it a couple of months to think about it, and I'll let you know. And I never called back. So I don't know. Because her originally was her- But you're talking about like a year later, right? Well, this, I was supposed to see the younger therapist that wanted me to go to her place at the end of August. I didn't go to that one.

So when I called after everything, we went down with the escort, I told her, I said, I want a couple of months to sort of clear my head. Because I had an appointment for middle of September, and I think early October. I said, I'm going to cancel those. and I'll get back in touch with you, but I didn't because other stuff came up. I never did. And I sort of thought, well, maybe if I don't, after it had been, well, that would have been four or five months. I said, well, maybe if I don't call back, that would be the best thing at all because

I don't want to get talked back into going. You know, like sometimes you sort of have it in your head one thing and then you sort to get talked into another thing. So I just left it as is, but it was about, I think it was the end of March. Her receptionist called and asked if I was interested in coming back. and I said I hadn't decided yet because I was trying a different therapist out. But the one that my company provides for me only goes. Like I said, I think it's 10 or 15 sessions.

So I'm getting getting to the end of that anyway. And I'm just trying to decide if I should go back and see or if it might be the best just to not go at all. Oh, my God. Well, nothing I say makes a difference because last time all I did was talk you down from the cliff of fucking escorts again. Because I really did feel like, you know, you didn't think it was the right thing and didn't want to do it. and all you did was go and fucking escort the next day. So I'm going to tell you not to go see that therapist, but you're going to go call her tomorrow and set up an appointment.

Listen, I have to say for the show's sake, and if I was writing this script myself and it wasn't real, and I would totally want you to go down that path because I would want to see what would happen. But I mean, listen, I think it's everything she did before was odd, especially you got a therapist, right? Who it's her same, she's in the same profession. She told you

straight up, like, all that was really bad. I have had lots of therapists in my life. I have left them. I have never had any of them come back to ask me when I was coming back. Like, that is very odd. How did she reach out to you? Well, like I said,

it was her receptionist. Her receptionist called you. No, I don't know. I didn't ask if it was a automated thing. maybe after so many months they do it to before they close a while. No, that's inappropriate. Is it okay, I don't know. I'm sure that there's like reasons why you can't do that.

Listen, therapy is all about, it's all about like doing, like thinking. It's like a therapist's job is to sort of allow you to figure things out yourself, get help when you wanted. It's all about that. You know, they're not forcing you or pushing you to do anything. That's why I could never be a therapist because I like to shove my opinions down people's throats and make them do things. Do you understand?

To me, it's like hard to be a therapist. You kind of have to sit there and maybe sometimes see everything that's going on, but not sort of push your thoughts on them. You have to wait for them to be ready. So I would bet, and I have never been to psychology school, okay, like I would bet everything on the fact that, like, psychologists learn that you can't solicit clients. Like, I mean, that's like the opposite of what therapy is about.

It's about people finding you when they're ready, you know. That's the way it is. You don't, it's not like. you know, this is not like a car salesman. Like, you know, they're looking for people to come in and buy shit. Like, you know, for her to be reaching out, that's like, that's like my dentist does that for my cleanings and I love that. Yeah.

Yeah. They remind me for my cleanings. Okay. But like, this isn't a dentist. This is. No, it's exactly what I thought of when I got the phone call too because your dentist does the same thing. Exactly.

I love that about my dentist. Same thing. Yeah. No, it's good because I forget to. Yeah. But so it's weird that she, like, I want, now we know a hundred percent like this lady and listen she smells your even if it's one percent there is a one percent part of you if not more that is interested in what would happen with that

girl because if it wasn't that way you wouldn't be sort of like afraid and still talking about it do you know what I mean like you say you use the part of yourself uh where you say oh I don't like loose ends and bloat like you use that part of yourself to sort of make an excuse for why you would go back but like for real if you were like really done with her like you wouldn't care that you had cut that cord because you did end it you know what I mean like all that stuff is just like excuses what you're what you would be using that is as a reason for you to get back in contact with her if you're totally honest with yourself no that's right I'm not going to lie because like I said, for me, I found her an eight or a nine in my eyes.

Yeah. And of course, I'm not going to lie and tell you that I would never do anything because it's, again, it makes me. There's, listen, the whole scenario, like, pretend it's just a fantasy, right? That's a hot fantasy, right? That probably a lot of people have, right? Like the doctor, like, you know, there's all these kind of things that, like, you know, but so, and you have this sort of being presented to you. in real life, right?

But you live out the sort of, like, you like that whole fantasy relationship, like, shit, right? Like, that's what your secret life is all about. So, you know, you're having, like, what would be hotter than sex with that, ask, that therapist? Like, that's right. Right? And, and like I said, there's,

it's almost like there's half of me that really wants to do this stuff. And it makes me feel good. And in a way, I'm not really. hurting anybody because nobody knows but the other half of me is like well what the hell are you doing because this is what you were pissed off at to begin with and it's sort of like I'm conflicted inside and you're right if I if the opportunity came up there's probably a 95% chance that I would act on it there's a hundred percent chance the 95 percent the 5 percent chance is whether you're going to call her like that's really where like if you did go back like I would say there's a 99

percent chance you would go down that path. It would just happen, you know. But I think, you know, that the chances of you, whether you call her or not, is what we need to discuss. Do you know what are the, what are your, what are your feelings about like, like how much of you wants to reach out to her and go see her again? The only thing I'll say is one thing that not, I'm not saying my downfall is, but I'm one of those people that likes to be liked by everybody. Like I said, well, I don't like to leave loose ends, but it's more like I don't want anyone to have a bad, a bad feeling towards me.

So I'm kind of like, well, part of me wants to go just to say, clear the air and say, this is this and this is that. And I found a new therapist. But the other part of me is like, I'd probably better off not to go because, like you said, there's probably 100% chance. If anything opens at all, I'll take the opening. Yeah, and that's like a dysfunctional part of you that needs that from everybody. like what the fuck is that all about?

I mean like maybe talk to your other therapist about that. Like that's an issue you have. Like maybe you're like a super people pleaser. I'm not that type of person so I don't understand that. You know, but I know people like you, right? You know, and so I get that that's a part of me, but I feel like that you could use that as a, as a, I think, you know, you could sort of exaggerate that part of you

and make it yourself believe that that's what's making you go back to this person. but I don't know. I don't buy it. I think you would be going back because of a lot of other reasons. Maybe that's a part of it, you know? But, you know, here was a nine, you know, you sort of get off on the whole escort thing because it makes you feel good about yourself. That's what you are sort of addicted to, right?

It gives you like a fucking ego boost or whatever. It makes you feel good about yourself. So that, you know, you had a nine. chasing after you. Yep. You know? Yep. It's like that makes you feel good about yourself.

Yep, that's it. And like I said, with a little bit of separation, I sort of saw it more. And I tried to be the good, I don't know, the good husband. I stayed away from everything that would give me any kind of temptation. I didn't look at any of the sites anymore. I didn't do anything that would sort of give me any temptation. And it was really, really good for quite a while. And there was a point after Christmas in the new year where I said, well, maybe what I'll do is I'll take your advice.

We talked about it where you suggested maybe if I could sort of get permission to do it a couple times a year and get it out. It wouldn't have to hide it. Right. So what happened with that? Because what was going on? Yeah, let's get to what's going on with your wife now. So what we did was, I don't know if you ever watched the show curb your enthusiasm, but there's an episode. Yeah, I love that show.

We just started watching it last. fall. So we got to, there's a season where he, they're at their 10th anniversary or something. And he said, right. Yeah, there's a pass after 10 years. Right. He gets to fuck someone else. But he doesn't do it, right? Yeah. That's right. Yeah. So we watched the show and then after the show, she looks at me. She goes, would you like to do something like that night? Oh, perfect. So I'm like, how do I answer that without giving anything up? So I said, well, I think about it and maybe

and she did the exact same thing that happened and she laughed at me and she goes well if you can find somebody then go ahead and that instantly piss me off because in the back of my mind

like if you only knew what had been going on the last couple years you may not be laughing at me anymore and she was genuine because she knows me but she only knows like

one half of me she knows the insecure you exactly but I was 70% serious when she asked me because I was trying to get a feel of it because I wanted to know, like you said, because I had the same thought.

If it was something I could just do without flaunting it, I would feel much better about it. Yeah. So anyway, I let that go. And what we did is we started an account on it's SDC.com. It's a swingers. I can't remember the exact. Yeah, but you had done that or you were going to do that back then, right? So we hadn't been on it for a while.

So I went on it. Uh-huh. Of course, you have to. pay to get full features, but every once in a while, they give you like a free couple hours of messaging. So I messaged around and I happened to see a profile of a couple that's maybe 45 minutes from us. So I shot in the dark, sent a few messages here and there and I get an email back or a message back, sorry, and she, it was a, it was the woman of the couple saying basically she was a little bit insecure, she's a little bit overweight, but she's really been cute.

She just hasn't had the right couple yet to meet with. So I gave her, we have a, it's a K-I-K-K-K-K-K-K, it's a messaging service. And I said, well, we have, because anything I do on that, I show my wife, because I, in that case, I try to keep it open as possible. So I showed her the message. She goes, well, it sounds interesting. So anyway, in the last two or three weeks, we've been messaging back and forth. This woman is marriage.

We've exchanged some photos. and we've even done a live chat so I know she's real and it's sort of looking like there's a chance that this might work out now they're gone until the beginning of May so next week or the week after and then we've been discussing maybe getting together for some drinks and seeing how things go

so it's looking like there might be a chance that this might work out now that's major but let me ask you this because I forget so what is your wife in it for is she in is she down to be with the other guy Like what's going to go down in this sort of situation? Is there swapping? Is there just being in front of other people?

Is she going to watch? Is she going to be with the woman? 100%. She wants to be in the same room. But she's also 100% by curious. So she wants to, if things work out, explore. And the woman and the other couple wants to explore. And she has mentioned that if everything goes well, like down the road,

they would be open to like a full swap sort of. thing. That's great. You are so on your way to having like every guy's fantasy. There's no reason to call that other crazy person. And that's why she's crazy. Exactly what I thought when this came through and like if this can go down even remotely possible, it's there's no reason to call back and it would be a can of worms I don't need to open. No, and you're opening up this can of worms. This can of worms of you and what you and your wife were going to do is going to really help you and her and your relationship together because you guys are both sort of letting your freak fight fly with each other as opposed to behind each other's backs right no that's it and that's what i'd prefer to do i would

much prefer to do it and you know like i mean you have a wife that's willing that is wants to watch you with someone else like all that stuff like i mean that just opens up a whole new thing for you guys to experience together and if you do that together and you could be more honest and open and then what's going to happen is like you said like your wife only sees one side of you right and it made you pissed you off when she said like you know when you go you know wait till she sees you with these other women if that part of you could come out in front of her that's gonna like because it's like kind of like the chicken and the egg situation with how your wife sees you right like which came first Did she have that view of you?

Or is that how you presented yourself always to her? And she's never been able to see another side of you that the escorts see, you know? So maybe, you know, so it's not her fault for kind of seeing you that way. It's more like that's who you showed her, right? So now maybe, I don't know, you know, like I'm just saying that there's, you're both sort of wrong for that perception to be happening about you. So, but now if you're able to do that stuff in front of her and you guys go into this whole. whole world. You could show her or she will see that side and that could just like ignite a whole new, you know, new sort of, um, her feelings for you. Don't you think? Yeah. Oh yeah. And it makes a lot of sense.

And like I said too, we, we've been sort of exploring this for the last two, two and a half years. And I've been sort of, there's been times where people are fucking pushy. They want to meet up right away in instant swap. And I'm like, you know, like I'm okay with some things, but I kind of want to be okay. I don't want to have, I don't want to have a douchebag in the room. If that may, it's just, I, uh, everyone has our own rules and regulations, you know, you, that's it. Yeah. And I'm kind of, right that find the right couple. That's right. That's exactly it. And I've been sort of picky. And then I found this one and I just happened to see them on the right night where I could sort of get in contact with them. And since then we've been chatting back and forth. And it does.

And you like chubby girls. She's chubby. Yeah. That's right. And for, uh, it's all, uh, it's all, my wife. And my is happy too because she doesn't want to be shown up she doesn't want to have somebody in the room that's heads and tails in her eyes about her. Totally. Yeah, that makes sense. That's it. Yeah. And I'm I'm 100% fine with that too. And so it's, I'm hopeful that

this will pan out and we can actually like you said. And we, we have like the girl and the other couple, she sounds exactly the same. She's a little self-conscious about her looks, but in my mind she looks perfect. I mean, there's nothing

are they and how old are you guys again? We're in our early 40s. They're in their mid-30s. So we're about five or six years apart. Oh, okay. That's not bad. That's perfect. That's right.

And we, they have younger kids. We have a younger child. So we are a middle-aged child now, but we're only about five or six years apart. So it's a pretty, we're pretty close in age range. What's also important is that they are also like sort of willing to sit back and,

and they obviously have the same needs you do. Like they want to get to know some. they want to put their insecurities out there and be open about that you know they they're willing to take the time to get to know somebody before you know so it's like you guys are and I think that's what it's what it takes because I've had a lot of couples on here that do this and a lot of times the hardest part is finding like that right couple right there's a lot of couples out there that are into doing it but it's just like a lot of times you just you're not on the same page as far as far as like your rules your regulations what you're comfortable with what you're you're not comfortable with, right? Like, all that has to align. Exactly. But it sounds like it has, like, as far as the pictures that you guys have set, like, were they, like, naked pictures?

Like, what, how does that go down, like, in that scenario? Because you're sort of meeting up for sex. Like, are you setting regular pictures of yourselves? Or you, like. Yeah, it was basically early on. It was just, like, very vanilla pictures, just to get an idea. And then what we did, too, is we sort of took more naked pictures without the face included with a little with a little sticky note showing our name so that it wasn't like

something we downloaded off the internet sort of proving that it's a live pick so yeah we've done that and everything seems legit of course we'll never know until we meet face-to-face and then they said back something yep okay and you liked what you saw me do you horny oh yeah oh yeah and your wife oh yeah she's uh she's if everything goes good she's into it now i don't know exactly what i'd like to say she's going to be into everything but I know for a fact she wants to try to go down on another woman and this other one wants to they're both on the same page. I don't know after that what's going to happen. Like if we would do a full swap or even if we'd want to, I mean, things could go one way and not turn out the way we think they are.

Right. But I mean, like I'm sure you'll have conversations about that once it gets closer to the fact that you guys are really like moving forward. But the fact that she like wants to give you the pass, it just sounds like, you know, you're both at the place. like, you know, like, listen, this was a wife who cheated on you, right? Like, I mean, she went behind your back. You went behind her back. Like, you both still have, like, needs. Maybe you guys didn't, you guys lost that thing between each other, right?

But it's not like either one of you is, you know, not sort of, like, interested in sex anymore. Like, you both really want, right? And so this is, like, great that you're doing something to revive it between the both of you. Oh yeah, like we've been together now over 20 years and just like the last couple of weeks. We, it's not like we we probably fool around every other day or so. So it's not like either one of us has lost it. It's just when you're together with somebody for so long and then a lot happens in 20 years. So it's, uh, yeah, I can't imagine.

No, I don't think it's uncommon for this to happen. No. And I, it's sort of just talking about it to sort of made things a little bit harder. And just the thought of it sort of helps. Even if, even if nothing comes of it, at the very least, I don't think. No, stop saying that. Something is going to come of it. You've gotten really far.

You've Skyped with these people. And they're coming back from vacation. Like, you just changed pictures. Like, what do you think is going to happen that's going to make it not happen? Well, the only thing, not that I'm worried about, the only thing I could think what would happen is if they happen to meet up with another couple before us, maybe, I don't think so. Because it seems like they're the same as we are. We're looking for.

You're never going to find somebody that's 100% compatible, but you want to find somebody that's as close as possible, especially for the first time. Just as hard as it was for you to find them. It's as hard as them to find you guys. So no, this sounds like you guys are both. I'm very optimistic. Yeah, it sounds like you guys have both, both couples, not just you and your wife,

but them and you guys are both committed to this. There's no reason for this not to happen. Wait, what is that happening? We need to have, I want that update. What does that happen to the beginning of, May? Maybe I hold on to this. Maybe I hold on to this episode and then we do a follow up. You know, I can. I mean, it's only two weeks, right, to wait? Yep. I think what'll probably happen is I know she told us they were on vacation end of April back early, early May. So I'm assuming that's next week,

obviously. So I'm hoping within the first couple weeks. Yeah, was the next step. We're supposed to meet. Yeah, we're supposed to meet up sometime in the first couple weeks of May. By mid-May, we, We should know something more. We should have had our first face-to-face at the very least. Perfect. So this is what we're going to do. We're going to either, I might air this, depending. And then we just do a quick update, you know, afterwards.

Or I hold on to this. I'll let people know in the intro what I wound up doing. You know what I mean? I think I will hold on to it because it would be really interesting to just do a cut right now. And then we come back and we see what happens. Do you know what I mean? Yep. Even though it is better probably to,

leave people hanging and then they come back but like who cares you know um so maybe we wait i don't know but you're gonna i either way i'm getting the update on this um what happens uh because it's happening and i think it's so great and i mean you forget throw that crazy person's number out I'm sorry, she's crazy. Crazier than the escort. Listen, crazier than the escort. At least the escort knows what she's doing. The other one, she's a loon. Okay. Like something's wrong with her.

Like she's, you know what I mean? She's like this professional person putting it out there. Like I said, I know it's like a lot of people's fantasy and stuff. But in reality, like that person, something's wrong with her. Okay. No, that's it. Sometimes crazy is pretty obvious and sometimes it's not. And I sort of got that impression. It's scarier when it's not. It's almost worse. Yes.

I kind of get the impression, too. And the other therapists that I talk to over the phone, said it to it. It's almost worse because they can bend your mind and they know how to do it where they know where you're vulnerable and that's where they go for. And if they want something, they can kind of get it. She knew. She knew. And that's why she went in because she, so it's a, it's a big mind fuck manipulation thing.

That girl is crazy. You don't want to go there, okay? That kind of person. okay, that girl, that's the girl that could like slash your tires if it doesn't work. Like you don't know what happens if like you get in there and then you start to mess up because there's something wrong with her, you know? And then if she goes really crazy, you don't want to get close to that. You know what I'm saying?

And that's the other, yeah, I know exactly what you mean because the other problem, not the other problem, the other thing that crossed my mind too is they know every single intimate detail of you and how does that get used against you. That was the thing that crossed my mom too after. by calling you up and to get you to come. She's using, that's the subtle way of using it. But yeah, she could use it against you if she really wanted to keep you, like, say she starts banging you and she likes you because she's nuts, right?

And then say you start to say, oh, I feel bad. I think we discussed this on the first thing. And then you start to say, oh, I feel bad about my wife. You know, she could like, go nuts on your wife, start following her. Like, this is, like this stuff really happens. There are crazy people out there. This, and this is the kind of person that is capable of doing. it because for her to be like this psychologist and be doing it the way she was doing it and then calling you and still thinking about you six months later she's off her she's out of her mind and that's it and that's not good crazy you know what i mean stay away you have the real deal at home you got your wife you're still lucky that you haven't been caught okay like seriously you you know count your blessings that you're you know count your blessings that you're you're you're

call it a day, put all that other stuff and your secret stuff away, because you're now going to, you know, sort of take your relationship with your wife to the next level and you'll be able to be who you are and get your confidence and all that stuff that you want with your wife, and that's who you should be doing it with. Yeah, exactly. That's what my thought was, too, over the last couple weeks, and it sort of came together. My thought was this could be the perfect thing one way or the other because I wouldn't have to do anything at all ever again behind anyone's back.

And I could still get the happiness and pleasure out of it, but I wouldn't have to have any of the guilt. Of course. And you're going to have so much more pleasure. That whole scenario is so hot. Like you didn't get it like it's going to be better than anything you could have done when you were

paying for it. Seriously. You'll see. Exactly. No. I mean, I've heard it from all that listen to the other episode. You know, listen to and the couples that are able to do it and be successful are the ones that have been together for a really long time. The ones where like, I don't know. So I think that you guys have it in you to be successful at it and have it be like a

great thing that only just helps like your guys marriage and stuff. So I'm like excited. I think it's great and I want that update when it happens. So we'll see whether I'm going to give people the instant gratification and give them this what happens right now or I'm going to end it and they have to wait a couple weeks. but regardless, we're going to find out what happened with this scenario. Don't call that crazy bitch. Please lose her number.

Delete it. I promise I won't. Okay. And don't take that call. If she ever calls back, don't even listen to it. Just forget. Oh, block her. Yeah, all, perfect.

Block the office. Okay, block the office. Anyway, that's perfect. Thanks for calling in and good luck with everything. I can't wait to see how it turns out. Oh, thanks. I can't wait to give you the update. All right, cool.

Bye, bye, Don. Bye. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, It's called Strictly Anonymous Confession. Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers is now available not only in paperback and e-book, but you can pre-order the audiobook.

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