Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 286 - CJ Just Started Cheating on his Wife After Almost Twenty Years of Being Monogamous

Episode Date: June 3, 2019

CJ has been married for almost 20 years and was always monogamous but he's recently starting to cheat on his wife. Why did he suddenly start to cheat on his wife? What kind of intimacy issues were they having? Who has he cheated on her with and where did he go to meet them? Tune in the find out and hear all about what he tried to do to fix his marriage before he started cheating, how he felt after he cheated, how he's now interested in cuckolding and how he's going about meeting up with couples and a whole lot more. **To see anonymous pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. The Craigslist is definitely like the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Santerport or Thailand. You can't not do it.

The temptation is just too much. It's real problem. Does your friend know that you're banging her or no? No, he has no idea. And anything goes. The motto of the show, let your freak flag fly. Probably the only good advice I'll ever give you is to rehire. your wits and chain. Here is your host, Kathy.

Hey, welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast with Kathy. If you want to follow the strictly anonymous podcast on Instagram or Twitter, follow the show at Strict Anonymous. If you want to be on the show, this is a call and advice show. It's supposed to be a call and advice show, but I rarely give people advice. I just sort of listen to people, talk about their interesting lives and their secret lives and their naughty lives. So if you want to call in to the show and talk about any of those things while remaining totally anonymous. I mean email at Strictly Anonymous Podcasts.com or go to strictly arumouspodcast.com and click on B on the show.

I can also change your voice just so you know when I talk about that on this podcast in the beginning because this guy was very concerned with people hearing his voice. I change everybody's voice on my show as well. So there's nobody's been outed yet. Anyway, I have on a guy named CJ today and his story. I mean, I have no idea. what it was going to be about. He just sent me an email saying he has kind of a secret life.

And it turns out that he has a very common secret life. Or just a common life. The secret part of it is he's not 100% into that yet, but he's starting down the path of actually cheating, right? That's a secret life. He's been a very monogamous guy. And, you know, him and his wife have been together a very long time. Everything was really great until things started to be not so great,

especially like when it came to sex and I think that that's the common part of it right um and his wife and he's tried everything this is a guy and it's like interesting to me because like a lot of people will be like oh cheating is just so bad and they're just so super judgmental but like listen to this whole guy's story and tell me if you could still be judgmental to him or against him what would be the right grammar after hearing the reason why he cheats you know uh and I think this kind of story could go both ways, you know, with men and women. And that's why I like to have these kind of stories on and talk to people and get the whole story. Because sometimes if you just hear the one sentence like, oh, this guy cheated on his white people just think, oh, he's a terrible

scumbag. Like, what a pig. Like, what to fuck him, a divorce. When, uh, you hear the whole story, though, it's a different, you might feel differently. I know I did and I know I do in this situation. I think most things out of context, you don't get, you need, you need the whole story, right? And that's, uh, and then you could form an opinion or judgment. And you're going to get this guy's story about why he cheats, who he's been cheating with, and what his dirty fantasies are. And, you know, and it's like a cautionary tale. Like I talk a lot about that because this is what happens if you don't sort of tend to your relationship. So I think all married people out there that aren't so happy or maybe taking their partners for granted

and just like sweeping every problem under the table should listen. Because if you don't want your partner to stray, you might have to do a little work. or actually pay attention to what they're saying or else this is the kind of stuff that happens. So anyway, I'm going to be right back on with CJ. How are you doing today? I'm good. How are you, Kathy? Thanks for having me.

No, thanks for calling in. You were somebody, and I want to tell people this because I think a lot of people don't know this, but you were someone who wanted to call into the show, but you were very afraid of, like, you know, being busted and you really wanted to remain anonymous and you were afraid that your voice would be recognizable. A lot of people have that fear, right? But I change like 99% of people's voices, right? A very, and they always sound normal, but they don't sound anything like themselves, right?

So I changed your voice so you don't sound like you, so you feel comfortable talking about your secret life that you live. I have lead. I have no idea, right, what you're going to be talking about. You didn't even give me like an inkling. All I know is that you do lead a secret life, right? That's right. That's right. And let me start by thanking you for, you know, kind of changing my voice. No problem.

So that I remain discreet. CJ's saying thank you because we did a trial run where I changed it ahead of time. You listened and said, okay, it sounds good. And that's what we all did, right? I mean, we did. I have never done that for somebody before. But I changed it, sent it to you. You okayed it.

Send it back to me. Now we're taping the episode. So what's the deal with your secret life? Like, what do you have going on that nobody knows about? Yeah, I have a bunch of things going around. Let me start by talking a little bit about myself and then move on to the things that I've been doing on. So, well, I'm in my early 40s. I'm married.

And unlike any other typical office going guy, you know, I work 95 jobs. job every day, my day through Fridays and it gets really crazy. You know, I've been doing this for more than like 20 plus years now. And, you know, so I've been married for about almost like 18 plus, almost 20 years now. And getting there. And, you know, I've been married for about almost, you know, Like any, like I keep hearing on your shoes, the marriage, you know, the intimacy in the marriage kind of went down over the years for reasons, various reasons, you know. Of course, that's very normal, common, not normal but common for sure.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So basically, just to give you a little background, you know, I've been monogamous for all my married life. And my wife, you know, we met at work, we fell in love. And we have been together since I know her for more than 25 years. Even before getting married, you know, we worked together for about five years. Okay. And we got married and, you know, sex was great. And then we had kids, you know, and it was still great. over the years, you know, when we, over the years, it started to kind of, you know,

you know, life gets better of you, you know, and your routine becomes very hectic. You know, you go through some life challenges and, you know, we battle those together. We stayed thick and twin together. And over the years, you know, sex went literally from to nothing, you know, basically it came down to nothing. And I tried to kind of revive it with my wife. And, you know, the first thing is kind of trying to talk to her, you know, but bring it off kind of, you know.

So, but it didn't go the way I expected to go. Just a quick disclaimer. Like, I know that this is a typical story, you know. Yeah. Folks get into their mid-fault is they don't get enough sex. So, I mean, I'm not going towards that. Let me just say, I have a disclaimer saying that, you know, I'm not like sex crazy or, you know,

I'm not just like that kind of guy who just want sex from his wife 24-7 days a week. It's just that, you know, you want that emotional and physical intimacy. It's not like I cannot live with my wife without chicks, which I have been for the past 18 plus years. How many years? 18 plus years. You've been living without sex or no? No, no. I mean, I'm saying I'm married for 18 plus years.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, right. It's been like very infrequent. It's been like maybe once a month or once in two months or once in three months. Uh-huh. Yeah, that's not a lot. So basically, I tried to, you know, I try to, you know, talk to her about it. Like, she, at some point, you know,

she kind of acknowledges that, you know, yeah, it's taken a hit because of a lot of things going on in our life, you know, a lot of other challenges. And, you know, she kind of, so sometimes we've come to a good, you know, understanding, but sometimes she just kind of, of you know puts her put down saying hey look let's take care of other things first and then maybe we can kind of get to do doing this you know because according to her she doesn't enjoy it

if you're dealing with so many things in life outside of sex you know as a so and when it comes to providing for the family i'm taking care of everything you know we have a good thing you're going on you know kids are being taken care of she's been taken care of you know all our needs are being taken care of other than this you know like and other than your needs for the sex exactly it so appears that you know even she has needs physical needs yeah but over the years you know it has her libido has gone down for whatever reason you know and how old is she she is same as she's same as mine actually like early 40 early 40s uh so um so it's like you know for whatever reasons and right now it's like you know she kind of uh even when we do it like when we

have sex it's more it's like a monotonous thing you know bam bam thank you ma'am kind of thing you know it will be when she wants to have it and it's more like a pretty sex for me you know she will want to you mean so she just play there then oh god right yeah she's doing it for you and not even that often. Yeah, and no, she's doing it when she wants to do it. You know, and she's on me and, you know. Oh, but you said when she does it, she's not even good. But she's into it?

She's, well, she wants me to do all the hard work. Well, was she always been like that? Or is that something also that changed? She's got older. Most of the time she's been like that. Oh, okay. Only on a few occasions that, you know, she kind of, she's kind of, she's kind of, active, you know.

Oh, okay. She's like, oh, you do, you do all the work, you know. All right. So that's normal. That's how she's always been. But it's that it's very infrequent is that what's difficult for you, right? Right, right. It's kind of zero to none right now kind of, you know.

And basically, you know, even when she does it, I don't feel like, you know, like really enjoy it. Because it just like feels like mechanical, you know. and you know she wants she'll always want to be pleasureed and you know when she will she'll want to be singled and you know by me and then she's kind of work she comes and then pretty much that's it she's like I'm done I'm exhausted I'm off to bed and like I'm left high and you know you're kidding you don't even get a blowjob or anything you don't get to come at all well you hear me out so Okay.

So what happens is when she's done, she's like, okay, I'm done, you know. And she's like, if I, he doesn't get me hard. I mean, I, whatever, I get hurt myself, you know, and try to get into the mood. And blow job is out of question, you know. He's not a blowjob person, kind of, you know. She'll only do it at certain times, you know, like if I'm much soured. Yeah, it's a birthday, not even in my birthday. You know, the last time she gave me a blowjum was on Super Bowl, like,

and that was also, I was shocked. I was shocked. And after that, she's never happened. So, anyway, so she'll do it only when she wants to, like I said. You know, she wants me to be all cleaned up and showered and everything. She wants to be cleaned up and showered. And then she will never be comfortable with anything overall if you're not showered. Right.

And I'm clean shaven, and I have very little to less body hair. I'm very clean and, you know, and so is she, but again, coming back to the whole sex act, right? So when she comes, you know, she's like, okay, now do your thing kind of. You know, she's, then she lay on her side and I'll kind of spoon her and, you know, I'll kind of try to have intercourse with her. And, you know, it'll be a, you know, I can't really, you know, I can't really come to, come into her, because I'm like trying to kind of enjoy myself, but it's like, I feel, as it, as the years have gone by, I just, you know, I just do a few trust, and that's pretty much it, you know. Yeah.

Then she'll, she'll be like, okay, we're done here, kind of, you know, and I kind of, I kind of, I, I kind of ended it, you know, because I'm no longer enjoying it. and like, okay, I don't come, I don't come, and we don't use protection because she likes it there. And even if I come, I will become very rare. It's like I don't even remember last time I came, it's probably a year ago or something. I came, I'll come on our, you know, stomach or legs or whatever, you know. So then that's it, you know, that's pretty much it, our sexual act, you know. So, and, you know, it's like, it's, it's just, you know, I feel like, you know, she's just obliging me because I feel kind of bad too because I don't like to beg for face every now and then. I feel that even when she wants to do it, she, when she's in the mood, she wants to do it.

But when I need it, she's never willing to do it because I've tried to kind of explain to her that, you know, I'm a very physical person, you know, I need to at least get a hug. or some kind of physical, you know, like touching or something, you know. I'm a, I mean, I've been good. I've been, say, school or whatever, you know. Yeah. I'm a nice guy. I'm a nice abbey. Take care of the kids and, you know, and I'm not asking you to have sex with me

seven days a week, give me a blow job seven days a week. But at least, you know, you know, when we enjoy, be participate and be open to trying new things, you know, like, you know, anything, you know. oral or you know try any position or things like that too he's always kind of yeah there's always a general excuse right even i give that excuse we are exhausted but then you should plan ahead for these things right i tell her you know to take ample rest and she kind of seems to find time for everything else but not not for this you know yeah so that kind of you know over the years you know it kind of kept growing into my head and, you know, got to a point where I couldn't take it anymore.

That's where, you know, I come to my other side, you know, where I started, I mean, over the years, you know, like any grown man or a guy, we need to relieve ourselves, you know. And my work is, my job is so stressful that, you know, it involves, it's a lot of work, you know. I work sometimes 60 to 80 hours or a week including weekends. Oh, wow. And it's really crazy. And it's a lot of stress. And obviously, I want to, you know, enjoy my time of work.

And I don't have a very, very big or very active social life because of my work schedule. Yeah. And whatever friends we have, you know, are basically her friends, you know, whom we met through our kids who play in common. And so basically, you know, she is very social. She has time and she kind of engages with her friends and everything. But when which comes to me, I'm pretty much less hand dry, you know. My kind of, I'm a person who kind of, you know, likes to, I'm a kind of loner.

I like to watch movies, you know, go meet a few friends and, you know, once in a while, you know, go on a road trip or something like that. Yeah. Get out from the routine that I have, weekly routine that I have. Uh-huh. So over the years, what happened is I kind of, I mean, I've been, sexually, I didn't get any outlet. So I was every day, you know, I was playing with myself and, you know, I took to phone, you know, phone videos and, you know, that has been my constant companion because there's no other outlet, you know. And when I shower every day, I'm kind of, I master bed and I try to, I have to come every day because I have to go let go the stress.

You know, I can't just keep, I can't go for a day or two without coming. You know, every day I last to wait in the shower. It does relieve things for you. Absolutely. It's not just more than just coming, right? Yeah. And she also knows about it, but she's like, oh, you relieve yourself, you know, when I've got nothing else to do.

For some reason, she's not into this fantasizing and all this. She's not into porn. There was a time when we used to watch phone together, you know. And it's suddenly soft. I don't know why. He doesn't like it anymore. And she didn't like me watching Pohn anymore. So then it got to a point where, you know, we stopped discussing about it.

And I even tried to talk to her about going for counseling and everything, you know. Let's try to revive or spice up what's going on. And, you know, like I keep hearing on all your shows, it's all about communication. So if she's not ready to talk, it becomes all the more difficult. And there was no other outlet for me, you know, all those are close. So I kind of, you know, try to relieve it through masturbation every day, but I couldn't take that anymore. Like, I mean, just masturbation was not helping me out, you know. So it's like then I started kind of thinking, you know, what I have to do, what I have to do kind of, you know.

I need some, I'm not necessarily from a sexual perspective. I need somebody to, you know, somebody who could understand what, what, I mean, who could relate to me or who could relate to me or who could kind of you know I wanted to find a couple or a female friend who could kind of relate to me you know like what I'm going through in my life kind of you know and basically try to I'm not like not like sleep with me but I'm saying like if we as we get along to know each other you know maybe I was open to that that that side of you know that possibility you know that maybe in the cafe like me or, you know, the lady or where I meet, if they are into me, they kind of bring it

themselves or, you know, we go with the flow, just go with the flow, you know. So it's not like I'm trying to get people to sleep with me or something like that. So I just wanted to kind of reach out and network, you know. On my show? Or you did this already? I did this already. Okay, yeah. You're a good storyteller.

I haven't had to jump in once. Like, you're just telling the whole story. You're doing a great job. I love it. Like, I don't have to ask any questions. Go on. I don't mind you interrupting. No, no, no.

No, but you tell the whole thing, and then I'll ask questions because you're doing a good job of it. So just keep going. So this is about me, like, you know, the background to when I started kind of looking out. So here I am, you know, in my early 40s. I've never dated any women before. I've never, I've been monogamous all my life. And here I am trying to figure out how do I kind of, you know, get into the dating scene, what do I do? And about the couples, the word, I mentioned couples because when I started watching porn, I kind of watched, took to all kinds of porn, you know, not like crazy stuff.

But I kind of kind of, I know it's not a good, so. for educating yourself on sex and four, on, you know, on checks and, you know, other things. But I kind of got exposed to a lot of different things, you know, as part of watching phone videos. So I got into mainly, like, you know, I used to watch, you know, mainly when we started watching phone together. It was supples porn, you know, like a husband, wife and a boyfriend or boy or girlfriend having sex. So those kind of phone videos we used to watch. eventually, but I, as I kind of got stressed out

and, you know, when we had this thing going on, you know, when the sick stopped, I started taking to porn even more, you know, different kinds of phone, like, you know, I used to watch three sons, I used to watch gang nangs and, you know, I used to watch

four sums and swingers videos and, you know, even I used to watch these recording videos, you know? Yeah. And, So suddenly, like, you know, over a period of time, you know, I started taking a liking to these, you know, three sums and cuck-holding videos, you know, mainly. And I've been straight all my life.

I still am not even by curious. So I started taking interest. That's when I started, you know, kind of started, decided that I should start looking out for friends who are couples or females, you know, or ladies. who are also going through similar stage in life who want somebody to talk to who can't kind of relate their situation with anybody and you know kind of be friends you know and if things go and things slick you know then we move forward and take it to the next level. So here I am like I said you know I started looking out on websites you know and I started researching on the internet and kind of so then I can

I came across some like apps on my phone as well as on the internet, I came across some resources. Where in I kind of started, there was an app, it's a messenger app, goes like K-I-K or something. So I started, I downloaded that app and kind of, you know, started to play with it. And so in that app I came across some groups, you know, and I was chatting in this group for quite some time and of course my identity and all was very different. great. So this is all going on while I'm in my daily routine, okay, at work and everything, no home work, kids. She usually doesn't, she, my wife usually, she, it checks my phone every

now and then, but somehow I managed to keep it under the app, you know, that I've downloaded, download this app, you know, and she has no idea what it was or more. So while, so I used to log into this app every day. I used to start, you know, there were different, different rooms, you know. local to my state or city, and I started chatting with people. There's all kinds of rooms. So there was a group where it was a group for kind of swingers, you know, where couples used to come in and check. You know, they're looking for other.

They're looking for a third guy or third girl. Right. And they're looking for a couple. Basically, it's a swing the room, you know. Yeah, and you were looking for the couple, right? Yeah, I was looking for the couple. So I kind of introduced myself, you know, and basically nobody, when I started doing that, people wouldn't like the fact that, you know, I'm married.

You know, the moment I say that I'm married, they would kind of throw me out of that room, like the admins. Right. The way it works is in every room there is an admin. And the moment you enter that room or join that room, you have to verify yourself with a live face peak. face picture. So the moment you enter, you put in your, where you from your age and whether you're married or single, and then you put a live face picture. And once you do that, the admin will verify you make sure that you're not some free field. And so once I did that,

all that. So all that happened, so I was part of one group and then I happened to meet one lady in that group. Okay. And it's not like I didn't, she didn't, so we talked you know and we're in the same room you know and we just make fun you know tell some jokes in the entire room like you know yeah so you talk about you talk about your workday what's going on and you know you don't reveal personal details but anything related to sex you know like wednest days happy humphys friday this you know there's some themes in the room you know like so we just started chatting you know and then so one fine day like she we she would we she kind of message me you know she said she messes you kind of yeah there was a lady

there's a lady American lady so she messaged me and she she was in her around the same age as me she messaging me like hey I kind of like to have a gang bang you know for with three guys so would you like to join so it's like sure I mean we can talk about it, it's like, and she told her all about, I mean, I didn't reveal much, I just said, I'm here, I mean, if you want me to join and then, you know, we kind of exchanged pictures and then she's like, okay, but, so we were talking, talking and eventually what happened is we ended up meeting, okay? But just before that, she said the gang-wang thing didn't work out for some reason.

two other two guys who were also supposed to join, they backed out for some reason. And, you know, just me and her, and then we decided to meet one day, you know. Right. So I just go out, you know, and meet her after work, you know, and she, like, I drive at least, like, two hours from my workplace. she was in a in she was a bit far off from where I am so I went out to meet her and we met in a like open space you know like she drove down I drove down and uh in two different cars and then we got a park next to each other that's the first time we met how old was she and what did she look like was she hot like was she attractive was she married too what was her story yeah when she shared her she looked she's a blonde and she's in her late 40s and she is attractive well and obviously the pictures she shared were like they were like naked pictures kind of you know so definitely she was I mean she was really hard I could say

that so she had a great body like you were very attracted to her I was attracted to her I was attracted to her. She had a great body appropriate to her age. You know, he's not like... She's not 25, right. Exactly. So, so basically we end up

in this... Parking lot? Parking lot. It's not a parking lot. It's actually just off the exit. I'd not really too much, but basically we're driving for like two hours and

we take an exit. Then we end up in this abandoned section of a gas station, you know? Uh-huh. Oh, God, hilarious. And we part next to each other. And she passed my service here.

We just exchanged our user name kind of, you know, what we use in the app. Like, okay, I use this organization. I'm still sitting in our cars. Yeah. And then she comes over and she comes over and says in my car. And she's like, hey, how are you doing? Like, okay, then we do the formal introductions.

And she's like, uh, you are looking very young and, you know, blah, blah, blah. And suddenly, like, you know, she, you know, she dies in for a kiss, you know. She dies in for a kiss, lip-to-lip kiss, kind of, you know. Right. And I'm shocked, like, you know, I'll be just talking and she kind of came on to me. And then she was wearing very comfortable, like, outfit.

She wore a loose blouse. and shorts, like, you know, denim shorts. So she, she kind of opened up her blouse and revealed her boobs.

Yeah. And had me took my hand and kind of had her, had me touch her, feel her boobs and all, you know. And then she gave me a herd and things like that. So we made out a little

you know, with kiss and you know, and that was pretty much you know and then after that you know we kind of basically she said that you know know when we got back to again you know we went our ways you know we met and then you know we met another time with another group of people but and then eventually nothing happened because she said that you know I'm looking for long-term companion kind of she was a widow. So, and she said that, hey, he can't,

she wanted me to spend more time with her, like, you know, take her out dancing or take her out for a movie and things like that. And I was like, and I was too far away from her kind of. So she kind of, you know, shot down that idea of, you know, us getting together for sex, you know. So we are still in touch. But you never had sex at all? No.

This was a woman that wanted to have a gang bang, and she wound up driving two hours. Wait, she wound up driving. First she's setting up a gangway, and then she meets you and drives two hours to an abandoned gas station to let you feel her tits? Yeah. Interesting.

So weird. I was very disappointed, but then I respected what she said, and it was very new for me. I never kissed another lady in my life, other than my wife you know so I told her that you know she's like I didn't expect you to come on to me

like this I mean she was like why are you so cold you know I'd like I didn't expect to come and to jump on me in the car as like give me another chance you know then I'll show you what I can do right oh gosh

so anyway so that was my first kind of of you know outside of marriage kind of encounter you know and then you know But again, like, it didn't help much, you know.

So all this online chatting and all, eventually, you know, I got tired of it, you know. So I tried various things, you know, all these apps which are there. They are just for namesake. I didn't much luck with them because I never, ever, you know, try to reveal about myself. I cannot put my pictures, you know. Most of these dating apps require you to post face pictures. Yeah, yeah, of course. But a lot of people don't put them up.

But a lot of people keep that under wraps until they start talking to somebody. You know what I mean? And then they show themselves. Right. Right. Right. But it was too much of a risk for me. And, you know, whenever you open these apps, they track your location.

Right. I absolutely cannot do this while I'm at home as well as, I mean, I can do them while I'm driving. Of course, not while driving with, and being driving and texting. And I could do that when at my workplace, you know, when I'm done with my work. Yeah. That is like, that's very rare. So like I said, I'm very, I work a very busy schedule. So very, very less downtime for me to get indulgent these things kind of, you know.

So, but I still try to do what I can, you know, and try to get on Tinder or any of these apps. I try a bunch of apps. There's all these while, you know, by my wife. Wait, let me ask you something because you're telling such a good story that I haven't really interrupted you. But, like, I want, now I just want to know the fucking story and I want to start talking. Like, is that the most that you've done so far? Or have you met other people and done things? I've not done much, but I've met a few more people.

Okay. I want to talk about. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah. So, like I said, you know, I tried to find folks, but I couldn't. because I never kind of dated outside of my marriage. So when I still kept trying, you know, I didn't give up.

I said, hey, I have to find someone, you know, who can talk to, you know, spend time with just go out, have a drink or something, you know? Yeah, a lot of times, isn't it? It's very common that a lot of times, like a lot of people think men just cheat because they're horny pigs. And a lot of times it's a lot more than that. I mean, there are, there are, those guys exist. but a lot of times, a lot of men, there's a lot of men like, you know, I'm sure you've heard them on my podcast,

where they've been monogamous their whole marriage and then they hit a wall like you said and there's nothing else for them to do and then they wind up cheating when they're not necessarily the cheating type. And it's because of a lot more than just they need sex, you know, men need the same things that women need, which is, you know, that intimacy and companionship. Like you said, you just want someone to give you a hug. I don't know, is that what you said before? Like, you know, you need that physical contact. It's more than just sex. Yes. Yes.

That leads men to cheat a lot of the times. Right. Yeah. I mean, at times you feel that nobody gives a shit, you know, you're doing so much. You don't feel even there's no gratitude for what. Right. There's nothing, you know. Right.

You're working 80 hours a week. You're taking care of everyone in the family, and she doesn't even blow you. Exactly. So, and this is something that I can't do without, you know, I just, I really, really love oral sex. And, you know, I really love getting blow jobs. And that is one of the biggest, you know, for a man not to get a blow job, you can imagine. For your whole life. You've been with her forever.

She never does. So, like, you've been without them forever. I mean, it's like you've never. I mean, let me ask you this. Were you with any women before, or were you guys virgin? when you met? Right, because you're religion, right?

Like you guys weren't with other people before, right? That's what I was figuring. So this is really the only woman you ever been. Let me ask you real quick because like we're going to get to the other people but I just want to know like after you met that woman, that first woman, right?

You were like this monogamous guy for your whole life, a virgin at marriage, right? You have probably very strong religious beliefs and here you are in a parking lot you know, going to town with some lady. I mean, you didn't fuck her. but like you did cheat on your wife for the first time, right?

Like, how did you feel on your ride home? I felt guilty, to be very honest. Right. I felt guilty that I am doing this. Uh-huh. But I have no other option because things kind of led to it. Right. Listen, you tried a lot.

You asked your wife to do therapy. You asked you tried to communicate multiple times. I mean, I do think. like I mean come on like at a certain point even women listening to this podcast if you're going to be just totally fair and unbiased you have to say like what are you supposed to do then if you've tried all that right like what are you supposed to do I don't know I'm not a therapist right so I just want to hear more of the story so you did feel the guilty though like you did feel bad absolutely right that's what I would figure even even the lady I met you know she said that you know you know you you love your wife too much. So that was probably one of the reasons she didn't want to take it really further. Because she could see it in my eyes or whatever. Yeah, she doesn't want.

No one wants to be with someone that's going to feel all bad afterwards. That would make her feel terrible. Right. So it wasn't really easy to do. And she was looking for not just sex, you know, she was looking for long-term companion because she had been widowed for many years now. And she wanted somebody who could spend a lot of time with her, basically. But that's interesting that she was like,

proposing a gang bang but she was looking for a relationship I don't know it's like a little confusing to me he wanted to have a gang bang with three more two more guys like me you know but she was hoping that one would want to date her afterwards it's kind of funny I yeah yeah anyway so yeah so you're back on the apps you're looking right for people yeah then what happened I mean my my schedule becomes very crazy you And all this time, you know, I'm trying to do this very secretly, you know, on my phone. And my wife keeps texting on my phone. My son uses my phone. Oh, my God.

You know, my kids is crazy. So every time I have to be super, super, super secretive. And, you know. Yeah, also because, like, what if you're texting so when it comes up, like, while they're on your phone? You have to be really careful. Yeah. Yeah. So with the kids, you have to be extra careful, you know, and it's crazy.

And just to mention, you know, my wife, you know, she's, like, overly possessive of me. She's what? And she's not, she's overtly possessive of me. Oh, really? Very controlling in terms of, you know, she thinks, you know, just to give a background, you know, I'm better looking than her. I'm not boasting myself, but, you know, she's good-looking. She's good-living, too, and she's a lovely wife, you know.

She takes care of me, you know, she's good for me. But on a scale of 1 to 10, you're on a higher mark than her, is what you're saying. Yes, I'm probably at 7 on a good day. She'll be like 5 or 6, not to judge anyone yet. A 5 or 6. And because she doesn't blow you, she's like a 4.5. What can I say now? That's not what I'm saying is to say, but it's not good.

Anyway, go on. So here I am like, you know, so and it's not easy, you know, for a man, he's having desires. Like, you know, a man is no matter what, you know, how nice I am or, you know, how I try not to divert myself. You know, I keep, this is one of the reasons, you know, I try to get busy with my work, you know, so I could not get distracted with these things, you know. Yeah. But still, a man has needs, you know, and I still. work crazy I was not to keep myself excited but then I can't you know my desires get the better of me and you know I try to relieve myself in one way or the other again all these dating and everything

you know it requires finances so I have to manage that that side of things too you know and when I try to kind of meet anyone I try to make that very clear upfront that you know hey I'm not going to kind of you know sharing this equally you know if you're going to have fun we're going to split everything, you know. I'm not a sugar daddy. I'm not a billionaire or something, you know. I do. I'm a normal guy who kind of works a job, 9 to 5 job, you know.

I got money. I'm not, don't grow money on trees. Right, you're not setting up that kind of a thing. But who was the next person that you hooked up with? Yeah, so the next person I kind of, not kind of, like, I didn't fully hook up, But she happened to be also a blonde. And the person I kind of met at my workplace.

And, you know, she started out like a work colleague. Even then she's in around the same age, like higher 40s. And she's gone too. And it didn't really read to anything, but just to, I don't drag it too long. But I'm saying that, you know, we really got, we worked as good colleagues and ultimately she got to a point where she had to leave my basically she had to leave my employer you know so we worked together for about two three years

in the same team but how did it turn romantic or whatever how did that happen yeah that's the next part so so after she left work you know and she kind of kept in touch you know hey I'm looking for a new job and you know and kind of she calls me one Sunday and says oh hey I'm interviewing for this and I was wondering if you would be interested in because they're looking for some more people and would you be interested in kind of you know interviewing for this this this this new office you know kind of so she used to be in touch you know and kind of you know we met once for lunch our office you know kind of the first time you know we that was when she

left her job you know yeah so she she says okay can we meet you know and uh okay it's been a while you know it was like three months after she left my office kind of i said okay let's meet you know i just took it very you know casually because she was a good colleague a good friend you know at work yeah so then she shows up at like this place you know it's like a password place and then she shows up in this what do you call that she shows up like with

she's a blonde okay she shows up in this red hot lipstick and you know she wear this summer dress you know and it's like shoulderless you know yeah and it's really hot

you know so he says hi and he has me and all that and then we have lunch and you talk about not anything sexual but we talk about our life He talks about her kids, her husband, and you know, all that's called. And she gets really friendly with me and she kind of looks okay, we stay in touch and all that things, you know.

And then, you know, this happens another time and then we end up going for another kind of lunch, kind of meat. And then she kind of giving me signs that, you know, she wants to be with me. But he gave me some signs that she's not happy in her marriage as well. But when I told her, like my side of things, I told her everything up front, you know, that I'm looking all for couples and ladies. So she says, oh, oh, is it the case? Okay, fine. And I actually, in front of her, I told her that, hey, look, I like you. And, you know, if you want to get together, I'm fine, you know.

And she's like, like, no, no, she's talking about her, Rajman, you know. No, we are doing pretty good, you know, it's not that bad. I think I'm fine right now, so kind of, you know. Okay. So then once, when we are at this lunch, you know, she kind of, she was getting ready to go for an interview. Yeah. And she had brought her laptop or something.

We were sitting next to each other. So the first time when we meet for a lunch at the fast food place, we sit across each other, you know, where, you know, she talks and everything. And then the second time we meet, I kind of go and sit next to her. you know for lunch so of course I asked her can I just sit next to you she said okay yeah no no there's no she comes and she's right next to me so we are seated next to each other it's a it's a lunch restaurant you know and it's during that time of the day where there's not many people in the restaurant and then just during lunch you know she kind of she's wearing

this um she's wearing a dress which has a zipper at the back So she kind of casually tells me, hey, my zipper is kind of some lose a little bit, can you tie it up? Yeah. So I was like, okay, I mean, I did it. I did mind doing it because. Yeah. Because she's hard. Right. Yeah.

So I'm trying to control myself and I didn't know what, whether she actually, it was just an accident or she asked me to do it because she was not able to reach it or I have no clue, you know. and even she had three kids and you know we talk about them all together all the time and i say i really like you i've given her enough indications that you know um that i want to get happy with her or whatever but she is not that of her show and much interest but we're really very good friends that story ends with you not even with her no she's like she's very busy oh that was a waste of time why did we go down that sorry but i had to i had to to speak about her. Okay, because you like her.

But yeah, definitely, she's definitely one of my very close, and I'm really looking forward to do something with her, you know. Right, and you think eventually it will happen? Yes. Okay, interesting. Now, is there anybody else? Well, other than that, I've read a lot of people online. No, but I mean, you've only, no, but as far as, like, actually hooking up, right?

You've only hooked up, like, actually fooled around with that woman in the car that one time, right? That's correct. Right. This woman at work, you were... Right, but this woman at work, like, you tried to make something happen with her, but she wasn't into it just yet, right? And you're still currently looking for something on the side, right? That's right.

But we've had, like, physical contact few times. Like, I have held her hand. and then sort of hugged her a couple of times, but that could not be, like, really, like, you know, sexual way, you know. It's just a formal, you know, like, her colleagues here hugging and, you know. Well, maybe, listen, she might like the, you know, some people could, like, you know, sort of play that sort of middle of the road kind of thing. Like, I mean, she might like to flirt with you.

She might really like the fact that you're into her, right? I mean, here's a woman that's been married for a long time and now this guy is into her. So she might play around a little bit and let you do that kind of stuff and maybe cross a little bit of the boundary a little bit, right? Yeah, she was definitely into me because many times I have bailed her out of difficult situations

at work, you know, I've tried to help her where she had challenges at work and, you know, she kind of wanted to, I don't know if she wanted to reciprocate, but she definitely, she likes me. So that's the reason, you know, she liked to spend time with me and think, yeah. And also, listen, you're in a marriage,

you're looking elsewhere because your wife doesn't give you that attention. If she's been married for a long time, chances are maybe she's not getting all the attention. So it's nice if you're at work and some guy is like giving you that attention, right? Because it's, you know, you don't get that in a marriage to someone for a long time, right? So sometimes there's like people flirt a little bit on the side. It doesn't necessarily mean that she's ever going to cheat on her husband, but she might, you know, let you do a little thing here or there and you're not reading it. wrong, she probably is kind of flirting back, right? You just don't know whether she'll ever cross that line or has that need.

You know, you'll have to wait. Right, right. But you're looking... She did give some signs that, you know, she's not completely happy with her. Right. We did mention a couple of things where she was suspecting her. Abbe was also kind of getting respected, you know? But, you know, listen, this is how, like, the warning here is that, like, this kind of

relationship that you have with this woman, can. very well turn into a full-blown affair, right? This is how things like this happen, right? And this is like the warning to people who are married, to the women who are married, and their husbands are coming to them and saying, hey, listen, I want a blowjob more than just on Super Bowl Sunday. I need you to let's have more sex.

Let's go to counseling, and you're just ignoring them. This is a sign to, you know, the men who are ignoring their wives and not really paying attention to them and taking them for granted, right? And maybe not making them feel hot anymore in their life. Because what happens is, you know, these people are going to work or wherever they're going, right? And there's other people there. And then this is what could sometimes happen.

And this is what leads to these kind of affairs, right? You're spending every day. You say, like, you work like sometimes 80 hours a week. This woman's at work all week. She probably sees you more sometimes than her husband, right? and this is what could actually turn into a fair. It might never happen, but this is how it starts, right? And this is, like I said, the warning to everybody out there

that you have to, you know, a lot of cheating happened, like could be stopped, you know, ahead of time if people would just really listen and not take their partners for granted, right? I mean, your girl, your wife probably would never believe that you would ever cheat. If she ever had the thought that you would cheat, I think that she would be tending to you more, right?

Like, I mean, you're a monogamous guy. She knows that, right? That's just like who you are. The fact that you have actually cheated on her, I'm sure it's a surprise to yourself, right? Like, I mean, if someone told you this, like, 10 years ago that you'd be cheating on your wife one day, you'd probably be like, no fucking way.

I would never do that, right? Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Yeah, it's not you. And on some level, she doesn't think it's you either. That's why she thinks she could just like, you know, cut sex off and just lay there and not do anything. And it'll be fine. But I think at a certain point, you have to say, like, is that fair? You know what I mean?

And it goes both ways, right? If you're with the same person and just because someone's married to you and people say, oh, like, you just can't cheat, it's a blanket statement no matter what. But, like, what about in situations like this, right? where you have gone to her numerous times and said things. You're a very monogamous guy by nature. You've been very good for her. You need, like you work really hard. Like you said, it's like not, it's like a stressful situation.

You need that release. Also, you just don't have any intimacy. You want someone, you want to feel loved and cared about too, right? I mean, it's not just a sex thing. And I think that this is like the common story and the warning to people because this is very, like comment and this is why people cheat and this is what how it starts you know you haven't fucked anyone yet but you will i mean the only reason why you haven't is because the opportunity hasn't presented itself right but like you're ready for that right yeah like i said you know

i'm not into like hanging out at social clubs or bars and you know yeah go out and you know have a drink or something like that. I'm just a usual guy, you know, goes to work, comes back home, takes care of his family and kids, and that's pretty much it, you know. I don't have time for leisure activities, you know. I just speak to my work schedule, my wife, my family. But you do have, but you do want to make time for a little action. Now that, yeah, I have to.

I kind of have to take out time for at least finding somebody to hand, to spend some time with, and of course, you need time to have sex, right? But let me ask you this because it sounds like you do like want a little bit more than just the sex, right? Like where are you going to find that time if you work? Like, you know, and this is where cheating becomes complicated, right? Because like say you did start with this girl. It just leads to so many lies and so much deception. And this is where it's, that's when it starts to become like even worse if someone finds out, right?

Because like you're going to have to start lying a lot. You know, if you want more than just like a fucking. blow job from an escort. I mean, you could always go to an escort if you wanted to, right? You could. That's not what I want to do. So that's the reason I have not gone to any booker. No, you want more of an affair. No, you want something worse, which is like an affair. You want to more. I mean, I don't want to, I want to have a long-term arrangement, wherein I don't have to do this with 10 ladies or 10 couples. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would want to have a steady person or steady couple.

Yeah. And that kind of brings me to the next kind of topic wherein I got interested in this cuck holding. Yeah, yeah. You know, not wiping free thumbs. Yeah, I was going to say, because that's not about companionship or intimacy. That's about straight up like fantasy fetish sex, right? Yeah.

For you, right? Like you got wrapped into that and now you're horny for that. And since you're like, looking to cheat on your wife, you're kind of like, why not try that while I'm at it, right? Because, and have you met any couples? Like, you haven't found somebody yet? And so the fantasy is that you want to be

the guy that fucks the guy's wife, right? Is that who you want to be in the cuckold? You want to be the bull? Interesting. And, right, and so did you just, like, stumble on that in porn and then you just realized like you were into it? I stumbled on it through, obviously, phone was my first when I heard about cuckolding. And then when I researched it, I came across some websites which had a whole kind of encyclopedia of information about cuckolding and, you know,

podcast. And, you know, I started listening to podcasts about cuckolding and really to open my eyes kind of, you know, to the whole subject. And I was fascinated and as well as immediately I took to it, you know. And I clearly knew that this is what I want to be, you know, outside of my married, like, kind of, you know. And the main purpose of me doing or kind of wanting to be able is to keep my way of kind of reciprocating the people or the people whom I'm doing this with kind of, you know, helping them out fulfill their fantasies. And of course, nine years are also being met, but for me, the couples come first, you know, kind of the wife of the couple comes first.

And it's all about, you know, empowering the ladies and kind of, you know, and husbands as well. And it's something that we are done on conceptual and mutually agreeable terms kind of, you know. It's very, very, like the dynamics. I love the dynamics of, you know, the three people in that relationship. It's not like a kind of a fully relationship, but it's the whole act of coming together for, for pets, you know. Yeah. And like you said, you're not into. Right.

And you're not into guys at all. You're not even, like you said, bicarious. This is really about you want to like, like, what's the turn on for you, taking the man's wife, right? As the bull, that's what you're into, right? Yeah, that's correct. That's correct. So basically when, you know, what turns me on is the woman enjoying, the husband enjoying his wife being fought by a bull. Right.

You know, and she getting pleasure out of her. husband enjoying watching her getting folks right exactly now how come you haven't been able to find a couple how long you've been looking for I have I started looking for couples like you know and I I started putting myself out there you know and through websites and you know luckily like I got response to one ad you know one of the ads I put on one of the websites and these gentlemen approached me and in his case what happened is I mean call it my bad luck he had his well he he he's he had a wife who passed away and he she was kind of from the same cultural background that I am from

so so he kind of got interested to my ad and he kind of asked me hey are you available like okay but I said then I asked him specifically how so he had a wife quite past away and now I have a girlfriend. So I was like, oh, okay. And like, so what do you guys want to do this? You know, so we kind of kept talking. So he has a girlfriend. They're actually in their higher, higher 50s actually.

And we share teachers and everything and they're okay. You know, I met her once, you know, in public. And she's seen me. I've seen her. she's a little on the higher side but she's very very energetic kind of and interested but to my bad fortune something's happened you know between that requires her to be away for quite some time and she's basically she's she's kind of taking care of someone someone you know right right right right right she has less like life stuff happening so she's not they're not around you going on so she cannot

do this like right now so that's gone like has gone on hold indefinitely kind of, you know. Right, but that is a connection that you made so you might eventually wind up with them down the line. Yeah, I think another possibility. So you have all these possibilities.

Let me ask you is, have you stopped trying to sort of work things out with your wife? I mean, I've never given up, but I don't think anything will come out of it, you know, because we hardly communicate, you know, like if we try, right? to bring it up every now and then and she thinks I'm a tech maniac you know whenever I try to bring it up she's like why don't you take care of other things like you know everything is

being taken care of but she's still like oh no you know you know we need to do this you need to do that and you know like you can't have everything in life right like you need to kind of balance everything you know yeah you do excess of if you try to get excess of one thing, you are going to fall back in another thing. So you need to balance everything. So I was like, no matter what challenges we have in our life, we should try to balance our sex life too, you know? Yeah, you need that as a part of it as well.

You have a lot of work. You don't have a lot of play. Like you said, you don't go out a lot. You know, like I always say, like if you life is like a pie, right, and you cut it up into different pieces, they should be equal pieces, right? As much as possible, right? and you don't, it's like your pie is like all work and then maybe a little play, you don't really have that much

and a tiny sliver of sex. So like, that's like that's an imbalance for you, right? And that's why you're looking elsewhere. And it's not like I'm pretending to have too much work. I genuinely have, genuinely I do a lot of work. Right, you're not a workaholic. Your job just takes you 80 hours a week to do, right? Like that's just how you could.

provide, right? I mean, that's just your life. Right. I get that. So it's like if you don't have that release at home. And when I have my downtime, if I don't enjoy my downtime with what I, with my wife or my family, then it's going to kind of, I'm going to, it kind of hits me in another way, you know, hey, what am I doing this for, you know, kind of? Yeah, I just don't know, like when, when you do wind up, because you're out there and you're looking for it, right? Eventually, you're going to wind up meeting that woman or that couple that you're going to start hooking up with. I just wonder how with your schedule and your life and the way your wife is, how control,

you know, how you're going to find the time to like do this stuff. I'm trying to find, yeah, a couple of ways. You know, there are some days in the week where I kind of try to work from home and, you know, completely work from home because sometimes, you know, I work back to back three, four days you know, in the night sometimes. So then I'm allowed to kind of take a couple of days off or, you know, work from home for a couple of days. And, you know, and my wife also, she keeps traveling, you know,

throughout the day, you know, she will do some activities of her home. So I get some time, you know. But, yeah, I have to figure that out even more, you know. Try to make some time, you know. So, yeah. No, but I mean, I'm just saying. that when you, if you meet somebody, there's just going to

be a lot of lying that's going to have to go down because you don't, you're not out a lot. Do you know what I mean? The cheating is not going to be taking place when you're working from home. I get that all your time working from home. You could start trying to hook up with people, but like if you ever do when you wind

up having that relationship, you're going to have to do a lot more lying, you know, and I wonder how that plays out in your life. And if your wife would sort of of, you know, wind up finding out. I mean, the last thing you want to do, I'm assuming, is have your marriage end, right? Like, you want it to stay together, right?

You just want to do this on the side. And you just, you know, that's where you have to be careful. Like right now it's easy because you're just worried about the app. But it's like when a fair start, like, because you say you want one person to see all the time. You don't just want an escort to see every now and then, wham-bam, thank you, you know. That person, there's a lot more lying and a lot more time. and a lot more commitment that needs to be given to that kind of cheating scenario that, you know, I don't know how you're going to juggle it and not get busted.

Well, for the most part, my top priority is not to get involved in emotionally. You know, I'm looking for more of like a physical arrangement than emotional, you know. Okay, good. Because like I said, of my work, hectic schedule. So let me ask you this. Why wouldn't you do an escort? because I've never done one and I'm kind of scared of with all these diseases. Yeah, okay, I get it.

Yeah, yeah, I get it. Those kind of things. Okay, yeah, uh-huh. That's valid. I get that. And yeah, and this is, and you don't know. Like, you, whether you'll get. Never done this report.

Wait, wait, say that again, just cut out. Say that again. What? You never know what? You never know who you're going to end up with kind of, you know. Totally. No, that's totally true. They put up pictures and then you show up and it's somebody totally different.

I get it that that could be like a really weird thing, that it's much more comfortable finding somebody that you get to know first and then you know that you're just with that person, but it's just a physical thing on the side. But just wanting physical fix, you know, and they don't mind. Wait, say that again, you cut out again. What? I don't mind.

I know that there are women who just want sex with a nice guy who can, match them kind of, you know, intellectually, you know, take them out. Yeah, probably another married woman. Yeah, probably another married woman, you know, that is having trouble in her marriage as well. You know, that kind of situation will probably, is probably like what would be the best thing. You don't want a single woman because you can't give that woman a relationship and you don't want an emotional relationship, really, you know. I would say in the mean.

Yeah, more like a, more like a fuckbody kind of arrangement. and I also love to be friends with a couple, you know, who understand, it's more easy with couples because they understand the logistics of marriage women, you know, who understand what I'm going through, and they can reciprocate, they can relate to what I'm going through, and they just want a physical arrangement, and or I could, I'm looking forward to my lifestyle,

kind of enjoying this lifestyle kind of as a boon, you know? Yeah, let me ask you this because you did, Let me ask you this because you did say one of your emails, like, how do people get in contact and do they? Like, are you looking to maybe, like, give a shout out that maybe if there's a couple listening that would want you as their bull to write in? Absolutely. I mean, I'm interested. Can you give any information about where you are, like the vicinity so that if people are in that area listening and they're looking for a quote-unquote bull, they could email me and then I could put them in touch. touch, like, you know, without sort of giving away exactly where you live?

Can you maybe say maybe a town that's close or like the state or something? I can't reveal the town. I can reveal the the size. I can even the side of the country. I mean, I'm in down south. Okay. Down south. Okay.

So if anyone down south, you could, and you're looking for a bull, you could email me. And then they can email you. you could maybe reveal to them or they can reveal to you like where they live. You know, I don't know how you're going to find somebody without sort of revealing any more information. But if somebody is looking for a bull, you're looking. It's one of the big cities in the south. It's very easy to guess.

I will not really believe, but it's one of the big cities in the south. Okay. Okay, cool. So a big city in the south, if you're close to there and you're looking for a bull, this guy is ready, willing, and able, right? You're a seven on a scale of one to ten. early 40s. Right?

The challenge I faced, I want to talk a little bit about it when I started approaching couples is like, you know, this, this entire, you know, cuck holding or ad-whiting is more of, you know, there's a, there's a, there's a, it's all about, have you heard about the term BBC? Yeah. So it's more about, you know, folks who have big cops. Yeah, totally. Yeah. And that's where, you know, I have kind of, it's like almost no competition. Like, I'm nowhere in the space, you know. So I just try to, you know, be honest and try to bring my game.

And I have my, I have a good enough tool to get a job done. Oh, okay. What you're trying to say is you don't have a BBC. but you have a are you average size yes okay I'm just about six

yeah but listen this is what you don't understand that women care more about is the width are you thick yeah yeah okay see that's what's most important nobody I don't know about other girls but like I know some I know women don't but there are some who are

who are size queens and who just want size queens listen no I was always a size queen, especially when I was younger, and like, I never wanted a long one. There's like a, there's just a certain amount you could take. There's a, there's like, like, your anatomy isn't built for 12 inches, but width is what size queens like. I mean, listen, you don't want two inches and two inches wide, you know, you want a normal length, but you want width. No girl wants 12 inches. Oh, it's too long. It would like hurt, you would bump into things. So six inches, but thick is actually. good. Okay, yeah. So you're on the thicker side and you're average, but it's more than average.

I'm pretty good. Okay, good. So he's not a BBC, but you're being honest. Listen, I think that that's good. Listen, you're really good. Like, you told a really good story. I barely had to talk on this episode. You know, we're over an hour. Now we're an hour and 10 minutes, so we're going to wrap it up. But, like, I didn't even really have to talk. You know, I wish you didn't have to cheat on your wife. I think, you know, you're going to be cheating on her. Like, I don't think that you're not, like, you know, like, that's where, that's the where that's where you're at. You have, don't have any other choice.

It doesn't seem like anything's going to change in your wife. I just hope, what I hope for you is that you don't get caught, you know, because that would be really bad, you know, you've lived your whole life, your wife thinking you're one way. I think it would be devastating for her to find out, you know, right? And you just, it would ruin your whole family life. I mean, listen, she'd be partly to blame, right? I mean, you know, maybe then she'd go to therapy.

I don't know. But you want to. You know, like I said, again, like to summit up, you know, I tried to talk to her. And, you know, she's given me clues that, you know, if I were to go that way, then she's kind of separating kind of, you know. Oh, if she finds out that you go with somebody else, she would end it with you? Yeah, she's going to end it.

And she's going to take my kids. Yeah, that's scary. And that's fucked up. I think that's such bullshit because it's like she says, like, I'm not going to give you sex, but if you go have sex with somebody else, I leave you. I think that that's very unfair. And I think that, you know.

It's being selfish. I just think it's unfair. I just think it's unfair. I'm in. fairness. I don't care whether you're a woman, a man. You know, like, it's not about that. It's just unfair. And if it was the opposite, because I think some women just, like,

take the stand of the, like, they just go on the woman's side because they're a woman. Like, I just, I'm very, I'm not that way. And I think if you really look at this, like, pretend that she's not the woman, you're not the man, like, whatever. Like, it's just not fair. Like, what are you supposed to do? Listen, like I've said, I think that a lot of other, there are some, there's plenty of guys that cheat and it's fucked up and it's wrong.

But there's a lot of situations like this where, you know, a guy has no other option. Like you did try a lot of other things. And you say, like, can you blame him? Can you blame him? Right? Like, I don't know. You know, are you a terrible guy? Are you like a cheating scumbag?

No. You're a monogamous guy that wound up cheating because, you know, you're in a bad marriage and there's no intimacy left, and this is a common problem, and it happens all the time. So people that are listening, go blow your husband, or if you're a guy, go, you know, tell your wife she looks fucking hot and go down on her for 20, you know, two hours.

Like, do what you have to do and tend to your partner, especially if you've been with them for a long time. And I know that it's hard. I can imagine how hard it is after so long, and when you're with the same person and you have, like, you know, kids and life happens, you know, the older you get, the more other things come into play, you know.

But I think it's important. Or open your marriage up and let the person go fuck somebody else that if you don't want to take care of them. You know, I think that's a solution. Exactly. When I talked about opening my marriage, that is what she said. She said, like, until I'm alive, you do this, you have to go in separate ways, you know.

When I talked about opening my marriage, you know. But see, I think that's great. But you know what? I think that that's great that you brought that up. Like you have tried every solution. Like, let's go to counseling. You tried to make her. bang you first and just like let's just make it intimate and then you said let's go to counseling

to fix the intimacy then she said no and then you're like okay let me go fix fuck someone else and I'll stay with you like you literally asked her permission and she still said no so what are you supposed to do cheat away okay just fucking cheat but all we do is what I told you you know she just we do this once in a while you know once in a blue moon takes and you know she'll get me to come her she'll get me to get herself to come with my finger then we'll spoon and that's pretty much it and she's done you know and no blowjobs it's terrible no she doesn't even she doesn't even get you off it's terrible stop i can't if she was my friend i'd be like bad bad she's it's bad it's all bad and wrong and you know i think she would be i bet you anything if she wound up finding out i don't

know that she totally leave you like she might say she would but like when it actually really happened i don't know you just you don't know you know but she'd have to like at some point face the reality that like she had something to do with it let me say something i mean uh she almost like found out once but i kind of got lucky you know yeah so yeah i should i got letty because she i won't reveal too much because then it will do it all way. She almost found out. But it was not like she found out anything outside.

It was more like she just found a picture of my cop, you know? Right. And like what the hell? What are you doing with that? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I just kind of.

Well, that's what I don't want to happen to you. But if it ever does happen, I want you to call back in and tell me. And the next time, like, when you do find like somebody or the couples, when you start doing that, call up and we'll get an update. but keep me posted it how it's going for you. I wish that things could work out between you and my wife. I wish she was like open to going to therapy and working on it, right? Because like you're a good guy and you guys had a good marriage.

That being said, since I've been monogamous all my life, you know, now I'm trying to kind of open up to my, you only have one life. So I'm trying to open up my sexual. Yeah, well, that's what happens. And I want to try. Yeah. Before I, before whatever years I have. left, I want to make the most of it

with or without her, you know, because I cannot take it anymore. There's no going back. No, there's no going back. That's the other scary thing. Like, she kind of made you sort of almost come into your own more. Like she actually

like helped you become more open and free sexually and made you realize that you're into all this stuff. And now you can't like, you can't not be that person anymore. So. I'm all about And I'm all about sex and protection. You know, I don't want to jeopardize anybody's life or mine as well.

Right, right, right. You're going to be, that's very good, especially because you're still married and you might wind up having sex with her once this year after other people. But just be careful. Be, you know, and keep me posted when you used to get a little bit more action and let me know or get busted, which I hope doesn't happen. Be careful.

Thank you very much for listening to me. And thank you for giving me this opportunity. Come on, yes, sure. No, thank you. You were so great. I barely had to talk like you did. You told a really good story. You know, you can't wait for the update in six months.

Thanks for calling in, CJ. Bye-bye. Bye. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available not only in paperback and ebook, but you can pre-order the, audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is

basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang being girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person. And they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it. in the third person. And I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. 17 of them. They're really short. Chapters, easy read. You could read one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in

eback format, paperback format. And finally, the audiobook is available. coming out August 25th, but you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint. Okay, there's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me. Okay, I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other. And that's what you get to do there. You could post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you could win a a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total strictly anonymous community and you will love it.

I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord. It's private, like I said. All you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook or the paperback. Send it to me at strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. That's strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. And I will send you the last. I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in.