Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 288 - Slacker is in a Sexless Marriage

Episode Date: June 17, 2019

Slacker calls in to talk about how he's in a sexless marriage, how that's been making him feel and what he plans to do about it. Tune in to hear him explain why the sex in his marriage went out the window, how their lack has intimacy has effected the both of them, whether he's ever cheated on her and a whole lot more including the solution he agreed to to help save his marriage. **To see anonymous pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. The Craigslist is definitely like the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Santerport or Thailand. You can't not do it.

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If you could rate a review, write a review. If you haven't subscribed, subscribe. Today I'm having a guy named Slacker. I like the name, but I don't know, you know, there's no reference to it. I don't know. So today I'm having a guy named Slacker. And Slacker wrote in,

and all he told me was that he's like in a sexless marriage. and that's the deal and that's what we talk about. His story is a little bit different than the last guy because there was a guy on just last week that had a sexless marriage but their reason for having it sexless is very different from a lot of people's reasons.

There's some sickness going on with her that's causing sort of their sex life and as well as like their intimacy with each other to go like out the window and he talks really openly about how that makes him feel. It takes a while actually to be open about it. We just talk about the problem,

but then we eventually get to understand how he feels about it. And he feels conflicted about it because I think he feels bad, or not that I think, I know, he feels bad about feeling bad about the way that he feels, right? And I think we could relate to that,

or most people can relate to that. Anyway, so his name, and then he gets homework at the end, so we're going to be able to watch the story progress as it goes, because I, of course, recommended therapy to him, and he's going to have to make that therapy happen, and then he's going to call in and tell us how it went. But anyway, I'm going to be right back on with Slacker.

I like your name, by the way, Slacker. Thank you. Welcome to this. My ambition in life. Yeah, I don't know, because I have a feeling that maybe Slacker has to, like, it's going to be like a theme maybe for this podcast, because all I really know is that you're in a sexless marriage, and that's about it, right?

I mean, and I'm assuming that's what we're going to be talking about. So isn't that why you're calling yourself a slacker? Like, is it your fault that you're not having sex with your wife? No, it's actually, slacker is really just, it's just my ambition in life. I'm not a slacker. Okay. But, yeah, it has nothing to do with my relationship or anything like that. Okay.

And it's funny because I went back and forth about even wanting to do the show, because I thought, well, maybe this is a little dull. And, but I thought, you know, worst case scenario, Kathy doesn't have to air if she doesn't watch you. So let's just see what happened. No, fucking wait. First of all, I've only not aired a couple episodes and never because they were dull. One was because after I did this whole podcast with this girl,

it wound up that she was like 14. And I'm like, I'm sorry. I cannot put you out there at 14. Like, it's like having sex with someone that's. 14. Do you know what I mean? Like I'm like I just I don't think that's legal like you know what I mean she doesn't have consent for herself to do something like that I said I cannot do that she recently reached out again thinking I wouldn't remember I'm like how old are you now she's like 15 I was like no and then another one yeah and then another one was a guy who

got cold feet after and said don't do it and I said of course I won't then like I'm never going to put something up also that somebody doesn't want me to but I would never do it because people think it's boring. And just so you know, and this is probably really boring beginning to a podcast because I'm talking not about you, but I really like regular questions. I didn't set out to do a podcast about sex. It just happened because I advertised on Craigslist and then it became really interesting anyway. But I love just regular questions because I just like to analyze things and figure things out. So don't worry about it being dull. Slacker. So tell me what your deal is. Yeah.

So, yeah, a little bit of background and bring me, you know, reel me back in if I get off the rails or something. I will. So I'm pretty close an age to you, I think. Late 40s, my wife and I are the same age. We got married quite young, or early 20s. And so, you know, we've been together. Yeah, we've been together for over 25 years. So, you know, there's been a lot of, you know, ups and downs in the marriage and just real life, you know, not. Of course. Yeah, we'll explore that. But so in terms of our sex life, you know, I don't know if vanilla is too, it's probably too tame a term.

I mean, we're, you know, we started off of the really hot sex life. were 100% monogamous and skew way towards the hetero side. I don't care about anything else or anybody else. But that's just sort of our, you know, that's where we lie. I mean, we've used toys. We've, you know, I love lingerie and feminine things on her. But, you know, that's it. We've never gone outside of our marriage while we've been married.

we've not been too, you know, I mean, we'll have a little fun and do a little kinky this or that. Yeah, but for the most part. Like that normal, but just like average, like the norm. Not really vanilla. I think vanilla as people wouldn't even use. When I think of the word banella sex, like I think like no, like those people were just like missionary, nothing kinky, no toys. I think what you guys sound like is like probably the majority of people out there, right? Yeah.

Yeah. I would think so, you know. So, I, you know, all on all, it's been good over that time. And it's had its ups and downs. I mean, there are times when my wife was on birth control. And like, it's not birth control because of your hormone, or it is, because it just stopped you from wanting to have sex. But she never wanted to talk about that, you know.

I find out years later, hey, you know, I just, I had to be in the middle of it before I wanted to do it. I'm like, why didn't we ever talk about this? You know, I was always thinking you were, it was like pity sex and kids, you know, well, I don't know. Do you know how that is? I mean, that gets really in the way. Yeah, I have a kid.

I understand. Yeah, well. It's very, but from the woman's point of you, because I'm like, it's like, you don't, you feel very unsexy being a mom. I have to say, you have to try really hard to hold on to that part of yourself. and remember yourself that way and reclaim that if you lose it. But, like, that's what's going on from the woman's point of you. And just the energy level, right?

All of a sudden, your husband or significant other is another person calling at you, right? Oh, I always say, I don't know if you've heard it yet on my podcast. I'm always like, I'm so happy I'm a single mom that I don't have to blow anybody at the end of the day. And my son's like three and a half, and I'm just getting to the point now when he started to get around three that like I could give a blow job after he went to sleep like it starts to get a little bit easier but those first couple of years is brutal and I think people that have more than one kid what happens is right when it starts to get easier instead of giving blow jobs again they go to

have another kid yeah exactly you get your looking at years of no sag yeah yeah that was never yeah that was never really a huge bone of contention between us because I think I'm a pretty realistic person. Yeah, you understood. Yeah, totally. And you were happy she was being a good mom. Yeah, sure. It's not like it was never.

It just was not, you know, all the time in the middle of the day. You know, those days were over, right? So that's okay. But if you picture our family unit, so, are you familiar with the show family guy? Yeah. Yeah. That's us now. except all three kids are a little bit older than what they are in the show.

Okay. So we have too much older children, and then we have a younger child. Right. So, but that was way unexpected. Like that last one, you know, came out of nowhere. Right. You were planning it. Uh-huh.

Right. So, and that's, you know, early 40s. It's like, whoa. So what that did, you know, and like I said, We've already been through ups and downs and this is and that's in your relationship. Just natural stuff that, you know, everybody goes through. And some people are more resilient than others, I think. But what that did was that kind of triggered in my wife, autoimmune problems that were not fully, I don't know the term for it.

They were not fully exposed yet. Right, yeah. And that triggered it when she got pregnant at that age. Yeah, and it wasn't just that. I mean, there was probably some other things, a lot of stress things that didn't have to do with our relationship, but with extended family and, you know, just stuff going on in her life. And it all kind of came to a head and really kind of triggered the symptoms. And so that was, you know, that's new ground. and it and that was, you know, that's six, seven years ago now.

Yeah. But it progressively got worse. So there are, you know, so that becomes, when you say in sickness and in health, you know, people don't really think about sickness, youth, or long-term illnesses that can really affect you, especially if you're not really familiar with those things in there and what happens to, a person when they have, you know, a chronic illness. Right, right, right. Yeah.

And it really, so with both having a young child again and neither is having the energy, we had, you know, in our 20s and early 30s, and then coupled with her declining health, you know, it slowly eroded to the point where today, and we had to deal with the other thing because autoimmune will also cause other problems. So we went through, you know, a cancer issue that I think is taking care of now. But there's, you know, there were surgeries involved. And so, you know, all that stuff takes time and it just eats away. Yeah.

And in all of this, she has a baby and then a toddler and she's dealing with that also. Yeah. Yes. And then so, you know, right now when I say, I mean, sexless, we're down maybe four times a year. year at this point. And it may get better again. I don't know. But it's really, it's really difficult because there's so many things going on. I have to pick up a whole lot of, no pun intended slack and do a lot of things that, you know, she's not able to do. And so I'm not as in, you know, I mean like the like chores shopping, house cleaning, you know, she doesn't work right now. Right.

So, and then really just taking my little one off her hands so that, you know, she can, she can rest because there's chronic fatigue and pain associated with a couple of these things. Okay. And the pain is a real drag. So, I mean, I don't want to go into this laundry list of symptoms, but there are so many things that get in the way with it. And, you know, she'll talk about it. Well, that's not, you know, that's not sexy, right? and it doesn't make me want to pursue her. Right.

And so there may be a, you know, she may, and nausea is a big problem every evening, every evening. And it's because of the lining in the stomach and how one of these conditions lessens that. She doesn't have quite enough and it makes her kind of ill. Yeah. So, you know, it will subside, but by then any desire I might have is kind of out of the way. window. Like, I don't want to be like, hey, baby, you know, you service me. You know what I mean? It's just, so when it gets compounded is here she's not feeling it. And when she can feel it, I'm already like, nah, I don't, I'm not really there anymore, you know, I don't, first of all,

I don't want you to be doing something when you're not feeling well. And secondly, it's just kind of not like we are older so it does have to be sexier or kind of gussied up you know what I mean we've already like a quickie doesn't really interest me anymore it's like you know you need a if I just need to get off I will just take care of business even though there's never any time for that but really I want an experience and I want to be together and feel more you know more intimate even if it's dirty I want to you know I wanted to be dirty but I love her so I want that intimacy as well. And so that's just, that's like never anymore. And when you talk about, you know, are you leading a secret life? And I've always thought, no, I'm not reading a secret

life, but you know what? I'm reading the secret painful life because outside of therapists, which I don't know that we have the time or money to add into our lives, who can I talk to to about this? Not my family, not my friend. It's embarrassing. We're not necessarily embarrassing, but they don't need to know that, you know. Right, right, right, right. Who's, going to be wants to listen to your sex life issues. Right, right. I mean, the funny thing is if you probably talk to a lot of your guy friends about it or something, like they, you know, you guys could probably have a two-hour car.

You know, they could probably bring up their things and like, because this is happening in a lot of people's marriages. But for you guys, it's actually compounded because of her health issues. And it does, I think anyone listening that has a wife or husband that I've had health issues probably could relate to a lot of things that you say. other people never would think of it, right? Like you said, because you don't even realize, right? But that, like, even you as the man who's normally like the one who's still super horny

and still just wants to fuck no matter what, you know, because, like you said, of her talking about it and all these issues and them being something that's like up on the table at all times, it takes away the sexiness for you too. And that's like hardcore for a guy to lose it, right? This isn't a way. Yeah, it's tough because I think. you know, she will get the impression that, or she'll start to worry, naturally so that maybe I'm looking for somebody.

Yeah. And I don't make things better because I kind of joke. Like, I'm like, yeah, listen, love and sex are two different things. I'm not looking for somebody because I don't have the patience to have another woman in my life. It has nothing to do with love. But, you know, I'm just needling her. I'm teasing her to make light of the situation. but yes, she'll fear that stuff

and because I'm not really, you know, the interest is waning worse and worse. And, you know, even porn doesn't really do it because, like, you know, I can take care of myself, but that's not going to fix the hole that we feel or that I feel. It's not. Right. You need more. It's not just a sex thing.

Maybe you're missing the companionship, the intimacy, or the relationship that you used to have with your wife. It's almost like you don't have that anymore. You might never sort of be able to reclaim that, but what do you have now or what do you create now with her? You know what kind of relationship do you guys have now that you could build upon in a different way maybe it has to be? Right. Because it's stagnant and boring. Like we're not in a state of growth because we've backtracked into becoming the parents. that of a young child again, which like, you're going to tread that ground a long time ago.

So the time for new interest, it's like, you know, at a certain point, you look towards the light at the end of the tunnel going, you know, at this point I'm going to actually be able to focus back on myself again or our relationship, trying new things again. And like, we fucked that up, you know what I mean? Yeah. He's great. But I will say that we also, both my boys, my older boy and my little one, have developmental problems, which create more attention that you've got to give them.

Well, kind of developmental. Ones they were born with, ones that happened because of like... Yes, ones that they were born with... I didn't want to get this specific, the plug-it. They're both on the autism spectrum. Oh, gosh. And they are both very well-functioning, but... But there's still issues with that.

It makes it a little bit more difficult, even on top of the difficulty that regular kids give you, right? Correct, because it adds to that. that exhaustion, right? So I wouldn't, you know, if I... Yeah, you couldn't be slacker if you wanted to. I wonder why you wish you were slacker. It's like your goal. Yeah, I couldn't be the kind of person that would have a side relationship for the sex

because I, first of all, would be horrible. I mean, I've only had in my life three, you know, long-time sex relationships and all the other slew were, you know, one-time, one-night-stand. that I was horrible at because I didn't give a shit. Yeah. So it wouldn't be fulfilling for me, and it certainly wouldn't be fulfilling for the woman. But I, you know, but inside a real relationship,

I think I'm a great lover. So I would end up wanting to have feelings for somebody outside. You would have to have an affair. That's not going to happen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that would kill my wife. Right, and you wouldn't do that. I would kill my wife.

Right. I mean, you've been monogamous for this whole time for, I mean, you guys are monogamous people. Right. But that's not easy. who you are. Right. Yeah. Right. I mean, and she has real, you know, that things that go way back to her early childhood about abandonment issues. So if I, you know, if I cheated on her, she, it's not that she would hate me forever. It's that she wouldn't be able to get over it and our

marriage couldn't survive it. That's just her thing. I told her, you know, if you came to me and told me something happened, I could get over it because I know, you know, it's not, you know, but she's not that way at all. So if I cross that line, I would just be torpedoing our marriage. And that's on top of that, it's like an infidelity to your children. It is interesting, though, that you guys have talked about it. Oh, sure. With each other.

A lot. Mm-hmm. We do talk a lot. And talking about this stuff, it certainly relieves some of the pressure. You know, it's like a vow. But with it getting sort of worse, it's getting harder. harder to have that pressure stay relieved because we're still neither one of us. I mean, she's not happy either.

She's not satisfied. And this is embarrassing to say, but, you know, when we do get together, it's been quite some time. I am not lasting like I would love to last, you know, because we're not doing anything in between. I have no stamina left, you know, it's like, don't give me head for too long because if you want any penetration, you know. Right, you're good for one time.

That's it. Yeah. Right. But a lot of older guys, that happens to a lot of guys when they reach their late 40s. At least I've seen it, even with my most player guy friends that used to fuck like crazy. They go one time and that's it. Unless they're taking, like, there's different guys, you know, but a lot of them, I find, are that same way in their late 40s. It's horrible.

Yeah, it's worse for women. It's been going on for a long time, too. That's been going on for years. So it's kind of like, look, if we're going to plan this for Saturday, if we're going to be that, you know, that not spontaneous about it, you know, I've got to build up for the next three or four days. You can help me out with a couple of those days. Let me ask you this, though.

But let me ask you this about all her problems that she had. It sounds like she's got a lot of health problems, right? And she's had them since the baby's been born in six or seven years have gone by. Like, does she had she in the beginning and maybe gave up? Is she now, is she looking for like solutions or, you know, to get better? Is she on medications? Does she go to doctors? Is she trying to figure out ways out of sort of the things that are going on with her?

100%. Yeah. It's just very hard with autoimmune problems because they're so intertwined with other things. They affect so many things. Like medications can make. some things, some symptoms less severe. Did she ever like try hormones? Did she ever get

like a full hormone workup? I mean I'm sure she did after she was pregnant and like I don't know. Like did she ever check like her hormones? Yes. Okay. Yeah. She's had a lot of things checked out because of this other cancer thing that came. Yeah. You know.

So really there's no I mean it's you know you're on to something. You always have to keep trying for sort of a formula between treatments and nutrition and all that kind of stuff. But it's difficult because nobody responds the same way. And she's got things that just don't have, they don't have a cure. You know what I mean?

They just, they don't have a cure. I think there's nothing worse when, like, your body, like, you have no control over what is happening for your body and you can't be helped. I mean, that's one of, like, the most helpless positions to be in, especially for like, you know, your wife, she's been dealing with this for years. And it's just, you know, no matter what she has done and she's trying to find solutions,

like it can't be figured out. And these things are just happening to her. And there's nothing she could do about it. That must be awful for her. It's very frustrating. Cause a lot of, you know, depressed times, which, you know, everything circles back and makes it, it compounds the issues of your relationship.

because for me it's like, oh my God, you're always depressed, but you know what? I get why you're depressed, even though I can't feel it. And not only that, I'm sorry to say, but if she's in her late, no, but if she's in her late 40s, too, she's dealing with either perimenopause or menopause is right around the corner. So her hormones would be whacked anyway. She could be depressed for no reason at that time anyway.

So, you know, throw that on top of it. I mean, she's dealing with a lot. You try to navigate what's one. It's too much. Yeah, it's a fucking puzzle. Sorry for my bad language. But yeah, it's a puzzle. And I can only, you know, I can, I can understand it, you know, in my mind, but you still respond certain ways, times, you know.

There's still resentfulness that sort of builds up and you have to check yourself. You have to have conversations. No, but both of those things could exist at the same time, right? I mean, you could feel for her and understand everything, but you could still be upset and think about because of how it's affecting you, right? I mean, and I think that's a confusing place to be, right? But both those things are happening at the same time. There was a woman on one of my shows that I watch.

I watch, I fucking love reality TV. I don't care what anyone says. And there's, like, one of those real housewife shows that I watch. One of the woman's husband was going through, like, cancer treatment. And all she was doing was complaining about how, like, he was being such a fucking asshole and how it was affecting her. And like nobody, and somebody else came, I heard somebody else talking about it.

I think it was Katie Couric who's like a very, you know, anti, like she's not like a real housewife's person, right? And she said, listen, you know, because her husband went through cancer. Like she said he was a fucking asshole a lot of times and it's very brave of her to sort of talk about that in public because a lot of people would probably look down on her for doing that, right, and saying, oh, what a selfish bitch.

But when you're in that position that does, happen like they can become difficult patients and you can have a problem you know and like it is a very real thing that happens that nobody sort of talks about right and and so and i thought that was very brave of her in a way to sort of talk about that and a lot of people in those sort of relationships would understand and be like oh yeah i totally get that right and you're like in the same kind of position like you feel bad and everything but it's also affecting you in ways and you feel like pissed off about it or whatever a lot of probably different emotions it's very it is similar she's not, you know, she's not an asshole, but she can be miserable sometimes, which, you know, then we can smite.

Right, right, right. You know, it's just, but you're right. It's like, here I'm complaining. I always have to check myself and go, whatever I'm going through, I'm still like a thousand times better off than some normal person in Afghanistan, right? Yeah. That's how I have to look at it because, you know, it's like, man, life could always be worse, but. But it's always hard to balance. at this point, you feel like life is passing you by.

Like, I only have so much time left. I mean, I forget. I look in the mirror and, you know, I still think like the 25-year-old guy, but I'm not, you know, I'm pushing 50 here. Yeah, nobody tells you when you're 25. Like, when you look at older people when you're like 25, right, we can remember. You think it's like you're going to be like this different person. But what you're going to be is exactly who.

I mean, you're going to be different as a person, but you're going to not feel, like, you don't feel older, like your body's older and all these things. But, like, who you are and how you feel. It's like you still feel like that same person, but it's weird. Like you say you look in the mirror and you realize, no, I'm fucking way older. And like, if me and my sister were just talking about this yesterday, I'm like, if we die, I was saying, if we die when we're 80 or 85, that's 30, 35 more times around the track and years go by really fucking fast when you're old. So that's not that long of time. You know what I mean? And you definitely start to think of those things, I think, around our age.

Like, you know, you start to think like, because I think when you're in your 20s, you don't think you're ever going to fucking die, right? But like you start to really, and a lot of people still don't realize it. But the truth is you are going to fucking die. And when you're like 50, you really start to realize you are. You know what I mean? Yeah. And you thank God. You got to live your life now.

Right. And then, but I think there's, I made. a commitment to be by this person through thick and thin. And if I left, who's there for her? You know what I mean? No, you're listening. Right. My kids would, they would hate me for that.

And it's not about not loving somebody. It's just about going, wow, I'm super restricted as well. And even though I don't have it and I'm not paying it, I'm living it by proxy. Like, what am I missing out on? you know, especially this age where you're a little bit more financially, you know, you're not always scrambling all the time, you know, hopefully by this point in your life. And when you think I could be enjoying certain things and we can't enjoy those things. And at the same time, it's like, no, I can't, I could never deserve this person because who who's going to be there for them?

Do you do things like separately a lot or is it always together? Like, I mean, could you technically go do some stuff like, without her, like even if it's like on the weekends, like with guy friends, just to like have a little bit of fun that maybe she can't do that used to do with her. Like, you know, I don't know. Yeah, I could and do. In fact, I mean, through work, I end up doing a lot of kind of cool things. All through my adult life, I've gotten to do things and travel through various work, you know, from various jobs. Yeah.

and that is, and I'm lucky for that actually. But the downside of it is, you know, it's probably a little depressing for her to hear about not. It's just like, I mean, she doesn't begrudge me that. But at the same time, that whole flip resentment's like, how do you get to do all this stuff and, you know, I'm so restricted half the time. Well, listen, like what I just said to you, if I was talking to her when I said, like, listen, like, you know, both things exist. You could feel bad for her but also bad for yourself. I mean, I would say the same thing to her because she would probably complain about the same thing, that she's

happy for you that you get to go out and do your things. But it also makes her jealous and she's pissed off that she can't do that and it makes her resent you. You know what I mean? And you would say, like, I understand both feelings. You know what I mean? And I understand that happening at the same time. You have to, I mean, it's not easy to always try put yourself in the other person's shoes too. No, but that's normal.

Normal people should be able to. If you're not a fucking narcissist and you're with someone for a long time and you have genuine feelings for them, you should be able to, I think a lot of people feel those two sides of things a lot. You know what you mean? And it is always confusing and that's, you know, being a human being. Yeah. So we're at the point, you know, where it's, and I think I sent this in my email,

I was like, you're going to tell me, you guys got to go to counseling. Well, you haven't yet? I mean, you haven't all this time. Has she? No. And the thing is, and I think she needs to want her own, but we also do need to as a couple. I think what's tough is, and maybe this is arrogance on my, I know it's arrogance on my part. I was actually a psych major, although I never went into the field.

But I almost feel like we do really communicate well. And I always think, what are they going to tell us? Listen, I'm sorry. More active than just listen to us, you know? Yes, exactly. And I always liked people like that more. I went to like five different people before I found my last therapist that is with. That was so amazing.

And she was someone that really talked a lot to me. But I am telling you, if you find the right therapist, they bring something to the fucking table that you cannot get from your friend or from yourself or from a book or from talking to your wife. It is something completely separate and unique. It's something that you could only get from that person. And that is, and trust me on that. If you're getting the same shit that you're getting from your wife or for your friend,

and that's the kind of vice. Then you're not with, that therapist sucks and you shouldn't see them. Do you know what I understand? It's a totally separate thing. I've always, seriously. So it's not like they would, they can't bring something to say,

well, I promise you, if you take your time to really vet people and find the right person, and you'll know that person when you, meet them. Don't just go to the first person you go to. That person will... Shopping around. Yeah, you got to shove around. Sometimes it takes

a couple times. Maybe you'll find the person the right time. It's shopping around doesn't take that long. It's 45 minutes of one day, you know? And you get a session and you see how it is and you'll know and then what happens is

this is what therapy is. Have you ever been in therapy ever in your life? No No I mean I've gone I actually My daughter was I went to one session with her

But you know I'm saying for you Right What therapy is It's like You go It's like almost like going to the gym Do you go to the gym Do you work out?

No Okay So you don't know this feeling Have I ever yeah You go into a gym Or you go into therapy And you feel one way Like maybe you feel sluggish that day

You don't feel really good About yourself You feel tired and you come out always feeling fucking good. And that's the thing about therapy and the gym. And that's why those things are both really great. No matter how you feel going in, you always walk out feeling good. Even if nothing really happens.

And every now and then, the other thing that happens at therapy that will amaze you is that you just will have a light bulb moment. Like you and, you know, all those other, it's not that it happens every single time. That every session is like, oh my God, she fucking blew me away and I learned so much. but every time you will feel walking out and you will feel better because you just will. But every now and then, the light bulb will go off and you'll learn something or there'll be a breakthrough, you know, and that's what it becomes all about, you know, and it does help as long as, like I said, you're with the right person and you find the right person.

But as a couple, it could really help you. I think also for your wife, because of everything that she's going through, like she could really benefit from it as somebody with all those health issues, you know. But then you guys could go together too, but it's like crazy that you guys are taking on all of this by yourself. I have a very hard time like you, like sort of dealing with the human being part of myself, like allowing myself to feel bad for myself, allowing myself to feel, you know what I mean, and allowing myself to not be quote unquote strong.

You know what I mean? I could always just be like whatever. I could deal with it. It's fine. I could look at the glass half full. I don't like to be a victim. I'm a problem solver. You know what I mean?

And if anything, I have a problem feeling like bad for myself or feel, you know, and so I'm always holding that back, you know. And so I understand that kind of a thing. But it's really like, you know, I could go a whole year without crying. I could cry on TV shows for other people, but do I ever like cry for myself? No. Like it's just I never to have time. Like, you know, it's like, but that's not like really healthy.

I'm 100% that way. I can't cry. except for watching a Disney movie. Right, for Bambi's mom gets killed. That's how I can cry. But not for yourself. And I'm sure, like, sometimes I was joking with my sister's. I'm like, I should cry for my fucking, like, why can't I cry for some shit that I have gone through?

But, like, you know, it's like, and so I get it, right? But, like, you know, that's why therapy and letting it out and letting that stuff out is really healthy. I'm not in therapy right now, but I keep thinking, like, I need to be because I'm a single mom. I'm dealing with children. You have to have a release for those human being feelings and there should be a balance. You know what I mean? And yeah, you don't want to become like the opposite end of things. You're not going to be in fetus position on the floor crying hysterically and you can't fucking deal with life.

But there has to be a balance and there should be. And I think that's how you remain the healthiest, you know? And especially when you're getting older because life becomes very busy, you know, especially like I have friends that are like in their early 40s And I'm like, you don't understand when you get in your 50s, like it's a 10 years later, like your parents are getting sick and people are dying having heart attacks. Like there's all this other stuff that's put on you. And as you get older, just more and more stuff is put on you. So it's like it's really easy to sort of forget about yourself and taking care of yourself,

you know, and then things could build up and resentment. And none of those things help your help by the way. You know, none of that was going to help your wife and, you know, get past her stuff. And not to say that she could ever be totally cured, I don't know. but like being depressed doesn't help it, you know, on top of it. You're 100% right because all that stress, then it creates this vicious cycle. Yeah, more physical stuff in your body. I believe the mind-body connection for sure, right?

And what is that doing for you, you know? So you have to start maybe like both of you start dealing with your emotional health because it seems like you guys have been taking care of your children and taking care of your wife and her physical things. But like emotionally you guys have to take care of yourselves. now too. It's too much. It's just, it's like too much even listening to it, especially like you said, putting on top two autistic children, you know, like that's a lot of stuff that you guys have taken on. And your wife, you know, like mind body, some like really mine, I don't believe 100% like,

oh, like somebody could just think positively and something will go away. I mean, like there are other things in play. Like you can't say someone that gets cancer is just like, oh, they're not thinking correctly or they can make it go away. Right. You know, like sometimes just things are the way that they are. But, you know, sometimes though, you know, they can be brought on from like sort of like a mind-body thing. Like, you know, like it's just maybe like things are just too much for your wife, right?

So these things came on to sort of give her sort of an out. I don't know. And that's like sort of like crazy to say in a weird way. But like if your wife could like start for her, I think it would be really healthy for her to start sort of like I said dealing with herself emotionally and instead of physically, right? Because right now she doesn't have anything for that because and that could actually help her physically. You know, I don't know that she could ever be 100% better. But if she could get herself like not depressed and get herself sort of feeling a little. bit better. That could help things. You know, you could be working out. You never went to a gym.

You could work, you know, all these things you could be doing to also make you feel a little better because maybe you have a little depression going on as well. Yeah. That's certainly possible. I think I stuff all that down. Kind of like you were describing before, it's like, you know, Superman is the ideal. And I'm not a Superman because, you know, I do bitch about it. It's almost like, but I think my actions, you know, are more important most of the time. But, yeah, I'm not dealing, well, I don't know if I'm dealing with it or just, I'm just pushing it aside. We're pushing it down, you know. Right, but that's maybe why, like, why I say you might be mildly depressed, not like totally depressed, but like a mild depression because how you're just like not really.

really that horny anymore. You know, like all that stuff and that pushing down those things will weigh on you. And all that stuff shoved down can bring on like a mild sort of depression that you might not even know about. Because, you know, you've been dealing with this for so long that it's like you don't even know what being not depressed is like because it could happen so gradually for the past six years dealing, you know, that you don't even know that you're depressed. Do you know what I'm saying?

Sure. And that happens a lot. And that might be why physically you don't feel as horny anymore. You know, that could be affecting your sex drive as well. I mean, that's like, like, depression is like a number one killer of a sex drive. For sure. It definitely affects it. Yeah.

Yeah. But let me ask you this. Like, when you sit around thinking of like what's the solution or what do you want do like what is it look like to you? Like what do you want to happen? That's a great question that I don't know the answer to anymore because

what happens now is and this kind of goes along with that depression is you start finding the reasons why that's not going to work before you know what I mean? You think okay we can do this oh that's not going to work

because of this, you know, or whatever. So I don't know. And again, it's at that, we're at that phase of our relationship. When I was a kid, I couldn't imagine people who had been together for a quarter of a century, had fought through things, getting divorced at that point. And not that I'm even close to thinking about divorce, but then when you find yourself in the thick of things at this point, you go, oh, now I get it.

It's not necessarily about love. It's about not being able to cope with these things. And a lot of people just think if they get out and find somebody else, all these problems go away. That's not true. They get worse, you know, probably, because now you're having to deal with, you know, divorce and how that goes along with the kids and stuff like that.

And I've gone off on a tangent. I can't remember. You said, oh, what do I? What do I see the solutions being? Not just the solutions, but what are you? It's not even the solutions. Like, what do you want for yourself? Like, what is it that you want that you don't have?

Is it a better sex life with your wife? Yeah, I would like for more connection and more time for connecting. Lately, it's been tough. And I know these things come and go. I guess being in an extended period of it, sometimes you think, oh, my God, this will never end. It's never going to change. Of course things change. I just hope they change for the better.

So I would like, you know, that I would definitely like a better sex life, but I might have to reframe in my mind what that really looks like. Right. But that's where therapy could really help you with stuff like that. Because it sounds like, you know, you've just been so in the thick of things for so long. You almost don't even, it's like it's hard to weed through even your feelings about what you want, what you don't want, what your future looks like. It sounds like you might never get back that relationship that you're. you had with your wife. So like what does the new relationship look like to you? How are you guys going to, you know, make it work, you know? And I think you need help with that because I think that

that's what you want, you know. I do. And I want to be, it's not like I'm looking to reinvent myself or anything, but, you know, there was a, there was a time where, you know, before this all started, where my wife was about to pick up a new hobby. and also she was she was working and that was something kind of new so I was I was interested in this it was a different side of her and then picking up wanted to pick up this new thing was really cool it was something new about her and that was really cool and like there's nothing right now there's nothing new about either one of us so it's like there needs to be a little bit of reinvigoration something that says, oh, there's still a little mystery left, you know. Yeah, well, what about you going to the fucking gym or going to a therapist or get, you know what I mean? This is what I think.

Like, you say, like, I'm hoping things get better. But, like, if you don't do something different. Yeah, you have to do something different. Like, I'm sorry, but your wife's medical things are just not going to magically go away tomorrow, right? So let's pretend that those are here to stay, right? So how do you do something within, how do you do something? within that. I really do believe that if your wife started to feel better about herself, that could help her situation, right? The only thing she could do and change right now that she has

control over is like all these other things, right? Maybe physically she can't control that. But if maybe she went to someone and started to talk about things and let go of all these sort of feelings she probably has because of like how her fucking badass cards that were dealt to her, you know, maybe that could make her feel better about physically too. Yeah. And it's kind of, it can't come from me. Like, that's useless to her. But if you start to, but yeah, but, no, no, no. But listen, what happens is.

It's got to come from that third party. No, yeah, but what happens is that, like, you know, let me ask you this. Have you ever brought up going to therapy? Would she be the type to say, okay, let's go? More so than me, probably. Like, I always, I've gotten to the point where I think, you know, haven't we thought of everything already, but, I mean, we can't, again, I think that's just personally arrogance. No one's ever brought.

I don't know. Yeah, we've talked about it. It's just that other, you know, in the past year, it's been too much to add to the plate. Right, but look at right now. Right now you've been able to carve out an hour to talk to me. This is therapy. What do you think you're doing calling into my fucking show? You need a place to like vet your shit.

No, no, no. What I'm saying is like the part of you that wanted to call in here is the part of you that it's like you could do this once a week with somebody. Do you understand? Like that's what this is. This is therapy for you. Just talking about it. I'm not even like a fucking professional that's going to like, you know,

I could give you some things, but just talking. And every single person that calls into my show, especially the ones with problems, like say like how much they get out of it. You're going to get a lot out of this also when you listen to it back. Let me tell you as well. You're going to give even more out of it actually when you listen to yourself and your situation and what you're dealing with and how you're dealing with it from the third person. That's going to blow your mind, right?

But besides that, like, that's what is, like, having this conversation, how you're going to feel when you hang up, you're going to feel good because you just, like, dumped a little bit of your shit out. Like, that's what's so great about therapy. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Like, why did you want to call in? I don't know.

Probably for you to kick me in the ass and tell me to just to do it. Right, but that's what therapy is. Right. That's good. I'm not saying that's wrong. I'm saying that's good, but that's what they're, that's why you wanted to call in because you do want to talk to somebody. Do you know what I mean? Yeah.

You do. I do. I think we've gotten to that point where it's got to be a necessity or we're just going to, you know, just slowly die inside, you know what I mean? Yeah. And then what happens when all this physically starts to, you know, manifest in you, you know, like in some. And so I just think you have to take care of yourself more emotionally. Like I said, that's the only thing you guys could have control of right now. And I think that it would, I think it would help.

And I think you should, you know, tell her that she should get some therapy for herself as well just to talk because I think she's dealing with a lot. And I think she needs a place to dump that even more than you do. I mean, you could do it separately as well. but like, you know, and that will help her for sure. I think she definitely knows that and I think if I supported that and maybe took the first step for her, or with, you know, with her before and said, hey, you know, let's do this together. We're going to put it on the calendar. You're going to make the call today.

We're going to make the call today and, you know, we don't have anything to lose. We hate it. We can stop. But we've got to try it. Yeah. She would love it. I'm telling you, the therapy is great. Like, it really is.

It's, like, one hour about you for, like, once a week. You should definitely go once a week, you know. And, like I said, you will feel better every single time. You just have to find the right person. And I don't know if now, you know, nowadays, maybe they do Skype things and stuff. Like, I don't even know if you have to go in, but it's not that much of a time commitment. Maybe trying to find the person. So that would be super convenient.

That would be convenient. is not having to show up at an office but still be able to do a face-to-face. That would be great. Yeah, maybe they have that now, I'm sure. Yeah. You know, I'm sure. Because I'm calling you for this hour. Yeah, in a car, in a parking lot.

Yeah, in my lunch. You know, essentially my lunch break, yeah. Yeah. So. Parking lot. I've talked to a lot of people in a parking lot. I was just like it's so funny. But, yeah, I just, so you might be able to find that. But even if not, you guys could get in a car.

It will be a nice thing that you guys do together, something new, okay? And I think you'll enjoy it and you'll feel good because you'll walk in there, maybe like not being, not knowing what to expect, maybe not really being excited. And I promise you you guys will walk out feeling like you'll have a little bit more energy than you've had in the past six years. There'll be something different. Something will have changed. You'll feel good.

You'll want to like go get a cup of coffee. together or do something. It'll just, it'll bring you guys closer in a different way. I feel like driving out of your fucking house where all these problems are having and getting in a car and going in an office will be good because when you get out, like I said, you'll feel better and maybe you'll get in your car and you'll go do something that you haven't done in a long fucking time because you'll feel to do it. Do you understand? Because you're going to feel happier. You're going to feel lighter. You're going to feel a little bit different. And it may create the opportunity, like I said, to do other things afterwards

when you leave there together. So I say get out of your fucking house. Don't look for the person that's going to Skype with you. Okay. There's too much there. Get out. Go to an office. Sit someplace.

Look at somebody in person and have that conversation and really like make it happen. But like ASAP, like I feel like giving you homework and you having to come back on the show and not have an hour long thing. But I like you have to say, within two weeks time when your appointment is. You laugh, but I mean, why not? No, no, no, no. Giving me a deadline is probably the way to do it.

Yeah, you got to do it. Otherwise, I'll say, yeah, Kathy, I'm going to do that. Right, right. You know, two months will go by. Right, but I do believe. This is what I believe. On some subconscious level, right, like you got up the courage to call into here. You had the desire to do it.

I think that you're looking. So it's like, I think now is the time, you know, and that really shows where you're at, that you're really looking for other answers. You can't deal with it on your own anymore, and you know that, you know? So I think that you're ready. Yeah, I didn't really think about that. What do you mean?

I mean, I didn't really even think about my decision to reach out to you being also, like a catalyst, a turning point saying, you've got to do something. It's not just about. Yeah, why would you be calling in? Why would you be calling in? I don't know. I always say this to all my people, like, you know, that it means something. There's some part of you that did that because it's like it's not easy to do, you know,

and for you, like, you had to worry, like, is this not a typical conversation that she typically has, right? It's not all about sex, whatever. You know, like you had some reservations, but you still didn't and you still wanted to. I think that that's a part of you, the subconscious part of you that's looking for some answers and is now open to sort of having conversations. and looking because you really want things to change. And that's where you have to be. And so I think that you're ready. And I think you need to do it.

And I think that you need to, listen, like I said, it took me five times to find the right person. It might take you two times. It may take you four times. You might find it on the first person. You know, I never been to a couple's therapy, but, you know, I think that that's a whole different ballgame. And I think for some reason,

there's less people that do. it. So the chances of finding the right one is easier than the regular therapist that you could see solo. I don't know why that makes sense, but it makes sense. Yeah, even when I think about couples therapy, I always, like the first thing that comes to your mind is it's a last-ditch effort to save your marriage and it's adversarial and somebody's to blame. But as you and I are talking, I'm realizing, like, we're not going to go in with that mindset. And, listen, the smart couple, you know, I mean, sure we both have. No, listen, this is not, no, listen, this is not 1984 where that's the only type of couple that went into therapy.

Nowadays, people go into therapy way before it's adversarial. A lot of people just do it. The minute things start to be, like, there's some issues to deal with it, to get on top of it. So they don't wind up at that place down the line. So I don't agree. I think that a lot of people go into it before. I'm not saying that that's how it is. But that's what you always thought, right?

That's what comes to mind. Right. Yeah. And it's unconscious. Like, yeah. I don't even really, I didn't think about that's how I felt. But when I kind of break it down, like that's, that's what kind of the feeling that comes to the surface. Right.

You're thinking me and my wife don't need it maybe. But like you really do. Right. And that's because I grew up in the 80s. So maybe that's where that comes from. Yeah, totally. Neither one of you has ever tried therapy. And there's no way that neither one of you has ever fucking needed.

it you know it's not just for people that are messed up it's like it just could just help you sort of deal with the problems that you're having it's just it's like it's someone to help you you know and you guys like like you said like you guys love each other it's not like you guys are fighting but you guys have all these things inside your marriage that are putting major strains and making you guys feel lots of feelings about each other that are going back and forth and are just toxic to your relationship now yeah you don't I agree. I think we both feel, no, but we both feel lonely and kind of suffering on our own. We have an awareness of what the other person is going through, but yeah, without a way to fix it.

And then having this kind of, you know, yeah. You need help. You have a lot of shit that you guys have been dealing with. A professional can come in and really sort of talk to you guys and weed through it and really help you guys figure. you're out, you know, where you guys should be heading as far as like your new relationship, how to make it work, how to stay together, how to, you know, and then I do think that your wife would benefit from going to therapy on her own as well. And maybe you will like it so much, you'll do it on your own too, but I, you know, who knows?

But I think she could use it as well. I think so. I think, you know, I'll commit to making this appointment next week. The thing that, you know, it breaks my heart because sometimes she says, you know, if we met each other now, you know, whatever, you wouldn't even think about dating me and blah, blah, blah. And I think, I don't know whether that's true or not, but it breaks my heart that you feel that way, you know, that you feel that. But let me ask you this. But let me ask you this. If you met her now, would you date her?

If I met her now, would I date her? Yeah. I don't know Right and that's what I have Right but listen She's not The part of her that says that is like The realistic part of her

You know what I mean? Like she's like She's not fucking dumb Like I mean that's like I hate to admit it It's hard to admit that I know but she knows that on some level Because that's just human nature

Like come on Like no one's Then I feel like I've I feel like I've failed her In some way Like saying I'm not I'm not sure I have a lot of clothes

female friends that are 100% platonic. I wouldn't dream of making a move and I think yeah maybe that's the kind of relationship we would have, you know? But I don't want to tell her because I know how much it hurts. Listen, I'm not saying to tell her that. And she knows,

you know what, you're right. She knows she's right. I'm the one that won't go, yeah. Yeah, you won't. Because it's hard for me to say that. Right. It's hard for you to admit that because it makes you feel bad. You're like I get, I totally Yeah, I totally get that. But I think if you could be honest about that, right, and put that out there, that's what you

could start to work on changing that feeling in you. Do you know what I mean? To be something different. But I think at this point, the way that it is, that probably is how you feel. But I think if you could change the situation between you guys and get a little help, you might not feel that way anymore. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, that could go away.

That's not forever. but right now that probably is a part of the truth. It's really hard to admit. And certainly, you know, she knows because I just get quiet and my eyes go away. And I'll say, no, that's not true. And she's like, fuck, you know, bullshit. Of course. Right.

But you're right. You're right. And I need to, yeah. You need to like let that out there, see how that feels. And then you could work from that because that could be changed. You could fall back in love with her. It's not that, not in love, because you're in love with her, but you could get that back. You can get that I want to fucking date this woman again feeling somehow, but you need help from somebody who really knows how to deal with couples and how to make those relationships, you know, become, like, refresh those relationships.

I don't know how to fucking do that. I can't even have a relationship. It's crucial. Yeah. It's crucial for, if you're going to stay together for that second leg of your life, I mean, It's crucial. Yeah, but you can't do it this way. Neither one of you are happy.

Neither one of you are happy. Like you get that you only live once and like, you know, fucking carpe damn it now because you don't have much longer, right? And I do think that you can, I mean, you guys are in a bad place, but you have like the foundation that's worth it to like that you could rebuild. You know, there's a lot of people that divorce is the right thing in this type of juncture. Like, it could have, and those people are happier, maybe separate. You know, but, like, I think you guys need to try to make it work,

but I think what you have to do is let go of, like, how it used to be and figure out how to create a new relationship with each other, you know. And I do think if your wife gets help, she could become a little bit more of the person that you would want to date. You know what I mean? Maybe. I don't think that her depression and all her stuff is helping at all. And so I think, like, I'm telling you, unfortunately, it sounds so lame, but it's really true.

Like, you guys need that therapy, and it will really help. Like, you guys, like, you know, it's, you guys can work through this. You've worked through so much. You've been able to stay together through all of this. Like, that's, you know, a testament to how strong your relationship is. but if you don't get on it now, you might stay together forever, but you're just going to be miserable.

Right, and who wants that? I don't, and I don't want her to be miserable. I have old miserable parents who, like, are so mean to each other because they've just been trapped for so long. Like, I'm just like, oh, it's like, you just don't even want to be around it. It's like, you see those old couples, like, you know,

and that's when you're not hiding your shit. You're still, like, able to be, like, nice. Like, when you're, like, 80, Oh, you guys will just be so mean to each other. If you've stayed together, this is not changed. But you're not of that generation. That's a different generation. Our generation could go to fucking therapy.

Like it exists. It's a good thing. Like, you know, we know to work on ourselves and we don't sweep everything under the rug, you know. And you got to get on that bandwagon. You got to get with it and get some help and start dealing with things. And it could really help. So this is your homework, right? We're wrapping this up.

Yeah. This is your homework. I give you two weeks. two weeks to go last time you gave me two weeks though you forgot about me what when was that oh when we made the appointment to have the call I know too I won't forget about this after we spoke for an hour it's different when you email me and I get 50 fucking emails a day from people no I know I forgot about his I forgot about his podcast being taped today sorry but this is you mean I'm not special no but once I talk to somebody I have a very good memory it's a very different story

right so I will remember everything I will remember two weeks ago I genuinely I literally do this show because I actually really do like to help people and I love when people better themselves and I love change in people and I love people like like changing things up and doing the right thing like I love all this I will be so happy to have get the email from you that you have made an appointment because I feel like that which is going to change your life and will be really good and nothing. would make me happier. Like it's, like I said, it's truly while I do my show. So I will email you, I will

email you the moment I make the appointment. Yeah. And then just so you know what comes after that is like, you have to go to the fucking appointment and you have to call in. Right. And we need to discuss. We will do a quick thing. It won't be a full episode, but I'll put it in at the end. You will tell me

how it went. It'll be interesting, right? Because maybe it wasn't the right person. We'll discuss that through and we'll talk it through. And then you go to another, but like, That's what I want. I want to report back after you actually go to the therapy. So those are the two things you have to do. Email me when you make the appointment, and then we're going to have you call in and tell me how that first ever, first ever, that's a big thing.

First ever at your age therapy that you're going to, how it made you feel and how it went down. I think that that's really interesting and it will really help other people too who are in the same boat. Because I think there's a lot of people our age, because we were at a weird. age where a lot of people weren't still into therapy was still a little bit like stigmatized you know I think younger people aren't that way but for us it was so you know there's a lot of people

I think that are our age that still have never tried it but you're never it's never too late I give anyone props I've had a couple friends that started therapy in like their 50s I think that's when Howard Stern he's one of the biggest people who always talks about it it's something that he did way later and he's just like

always therapy therapy therapy because he knows so it's never too late and I think I give you credit for going because you're going to go, and we want to hear about it. So good luck. All right. We'll get back to me. We'll talk soon. All right.

Thanks, Kathy. Bye. Bye-bye. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available not only in paperback and e-book, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August. 25th, but you can pre-order it.

The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like, there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang being girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person, and they're all true.

I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person. And I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like Penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. 17 of them.

They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format. And finally, the audiobook is available. coming out August 25th, but you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint. Okay, there's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me.

Okay, I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other. And that's what you get to do there. You could post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you could win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total strictly anonymous community and you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my discord. It's private, like I said. All you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook, or the paperback. Send it to me at strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. That's strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. And I will send you.

the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in. This is the Strictly Anonymous podcast.