Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 293 - Steve is the Stag in a Hot Wife Couple

Episode Date: July 22, 2019

Steve calls in to talk about how he’s the stag in a hot wife couple. What is a stag? What does his hot wife do with other guys? And how involved is he in all the action? Tune in for all the details which include stories about their first vacation and how they managed to hook up with three different guys, how they met them and what his wife did with them, the swingers club they frequent and what do while there, what he's totally into and what he's not into and a whole lot more. Plus he talks all about how he quit drinking years ago, and how quitting has changed his life. **To see anonymous pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. The Craigslist is definitely like the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Singapore or Thailand. You can't not do it.

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Here is your host, Kathy. Hey, welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast with Kathy. If you want to follow the Strictly Anonymous podcast on Instagram or Twitter, follow the show at Strict Anonymous. If you haven't subscribed to my show, subscribe if you want to, if you can write a review, write a review for the show. That really helps. And it's always appreciated if it's a good review.

If you want to be on the show, this is a call and advice show where I give total strangers my unprofessional advice. It's also just a place where people like to call in because you remain anonymous and sort of put out their secret lives. That was like really bad grammar, but you know what I mean. You could call up if you have a secret life or a naughty life or an interesting life that you want to talk about while remaining totally anonymous. And you remain anonymous to me too. You could block your number. I don't need to know your fucking name. I'm not going to ask where you live.

Like none of that stuff is really important to me. I just like like the real details of the story. So it's easy to remain anonymous. I also change everybody's voices. So you could change your voice. It could be changed. It's a really easy thing to do. And so that's what I provide here.

If you want to be on the show, send an email at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com or go to my website, strictly anonymouspodcast.com, and click on Be on the Show. Today I want a guy named Steve. And Steve wrote in and said that he was like a stag in a hot wife couple. And I was like, what the fuck does that mean? I don't even know.

Like, at first I thought like, I mean, it sounds like a cuckolding, right? But like, what does a stag mean? And so that was like my first question. That's what we talk about. We talk about what that means. We talk about how it happened in his relationship. I mean, this is a guy that's been married for like 30 years. And this is something recent that has gone down in his relationship.

So it's interesting how it progressed to that, how this couple, you know, sort of open their relationship to other guys, where they find the guys, how they started out, what they're into, what they do, how it all goes down, and how he feels about it. And how they've been able to keep, this is a couple, like I said, 30 years before they got into this, which is this is something that they got into recently. They had a great sex life. It wasn't like there were any issues. They had always been sort of super experimental with each other.

We talk about like that. We talk about like how they kept it sort of interesting in their relationship. for so long, right? Because that's something that I think a lot of people don't have, right? 30 years, a lot of time sex goes out the window, but it didn't for them. And now it's like better than ever, right? So we talk about that. And then at the end, we talk a little bit about him being sober because I'm sober. So for all the sober people out there, you'll get a little bit of that at the end too. So anyway, I'm going to be right back on with Steve. How are you doing today? I am great. Kathy, you? I'm good. You know, everyone who calls in now is like,

like listeners of the show. In the beginning, I used to actually have to post ads to get people to be on it. I used to use Craigslist. But thank God by the time Craigslist was canned that I had so many listeners that people write in all the time. And when you wrote in, you said that you were a stag, well, you're a sober stag, right, in a hot wife couple. And I was like, what the fuck does that mean? I mean, that was like already my first question because I don't know. I mean, to me it sounds a little bit like a cuckolding situation. I'm like, is that like a different way to say a cuckling type of situation or is it something totally different? I think that it's 90 degrees off in that she plays with others, but I'm in control and I make

the decision. Right. In a cuckling situation, the cuckled guy kind of like likes to be humiliated and is like not in control at all, right? Like it's the opposite, right? That's what I hear, yes. Right. So this is kind of like a cuckling, whereas you like to see her with other people, but

you're sort of. directing what is happening? Yes, and I set things up. Right. And that's the turn on for you. Yes, yeah. She's an amazing work of art. And so getting to watch her enjoy herself as an amazing experience.

So let me, I want to find out how you guys got to this place, right? Because I think that that's always interesting and it's interesting for other people to hear if they're in a regular relationship, right? That's monogamous. Like how does it progress into this kind of situation, right? Because I think it's a lot of times, a lot of people, People will say, oh, I wouldn't want my wife with somebody else or my girl with somebody else. But, and that's what a lot of my guy friends told me when I first started doing this podcast.

And I was like, wow, there's like a lot of guys on my show that like to watch their girl fuck somebody else. And they were like, no way. But then it turns out that there's a lot more people into that than I used to think, right? So in a way, you have like what a lot of people are looking for. So how did it progress? Now, is this, this is your wife, I'm assuming, right? Yes, yes. Okay.

And how long have you guys been together? Over 30 years. Okay. And so how long have you been, how long has your relationship been open like this? Less than a year. Oh, wow. And interesting. And then, and how did it come about? Like, what was your sex life in the beginning or since or, you know, before? Sure. We've always been highly matched, even when we struggled in other ways, we could always reconnect sexually. So you always had intense chemistry. Is that what you mean between each other since day one? Yeah. Yeah, definitely. it survived all those years.

Yes. Oh, yeah. It's been, it's been great. Nothing was missing. This is just like a hobby that we picked up that's intensely, um, um, um, um, um, um, fun and interesting and evolving. Yeah, no, and I don't say like, oh, you kept it interesting all those years because, like, because I think most of the time, I don't understand how you could remain sexually attracted to the same person for 30 years. I don't know. And, you know, and listen, I, I've never been. married and I've never been with anyone that long, but like, you know, I have a million people on year who go and cheat and do other things and whatever. And, you know, we all know that that's a typical problem, right? For both women and men, how to keep the sex interesting. So, you know, before we

get into this stuff that you've been doing this past year, what do you think is the key to the success of your sex life for all that time? Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. It's right. Wow, good question. Yeah. Well, it's always been interesting and fun and moving. We travel a lot. We go a lot of places and we have a lot of fun things. We just never brought somebody else in. So what do you said? You had fantasies?

Like you kept it going with fantasy talk and stuff like that? Maybe a little bit, but we just go a lot of places where we like being outdoors. We do things outdoors and on the road and just. So like the exhibition of stuff? Yeah, softly, yes. And that's how this evolved. Right. So you guys have kept like your sex life evolving.

Like it just, it wasn't so vanilla, right? Like you would try new things. Would that be maybe something you'd advise? I always like to ask these questions because I think people are listening and people want to learn from other people. Right. So it's like maybe, you know, so that's why I'm asking you these questions. So maybe somebody else who's in a long term relationship could be like, oh, this is a great way to revive my sex life. Because I think a lot of times it does go out the window for couples.

Sure. Yeah. was fun and interesting and moving and always a little bit of risk involved. We've always been soft risk takers and we just expanded the risk and it's still evolving, I think. Right. Now, explain to me when that kind of behavior started and when you guys got to get, like was it straight from the beginning? You knew that she was like open and you guys let your freak flag fly with each other. Did it happen over time? It was for the first time at about 29, years it was starting to stagnate and I said well I think let's do something new and interesting

and she didn't know what and I said well let's go to this try this club and thinking we would just watch people or whatever and when we got there it was really intense and we both really had a big rush and next thing you know we're asking people to watch and then participating with them and then she the guys are lining up and she's loving it and I'm loving it and it really surprised me Right. So like before that, you had never, you guys had never sort of fantasized or talked about it, even in role playing like with each other about like her being with other people or and you didn't know that you were into that because I find that that's a common thing. Yeah, that's exactly what happened. I was totally, I'm still surprised by it. Yeah. Yeah, I've had a lot of people on my show who have talked about how that has gone down, both men and women or they saw their partner with them and they would never have thought it was something that. turned on because like I said in the beginning when this was coming out on my

show and more and more people were copying to this as like what they do and what they like I would go and tell my friends about it and they'd be like I would never want that it would never turn me on you know what I mean like it would actually freak me out but it turns out because I I question people a lot

that way now right just to and most of the time it's like people like you where they say like they would never have known it was something that they were turned on by but sure enough it happens so you never you don't know, right? I think that you don't know. And it feels and sounds really risky, but when you are this comfortable communicating with somebody for this long, we are not, we're just not going anywhere. We're life partners and people will come and go, but we're going to, we started together and we're

going to end together, I believe. Yeah. And see, that is the key. That's what I always say. I think the key is to sort of being able to do stuff like that. If you really know, right, I think what, because I think also what the ultimate fear is and what, you know, all the jealousy and not letting people and sort of the possessiveness of, you know, having someone only be with you sexually is because the fear of like losing somebody, right? If you have it in place where you know, like, that's it. Like you're with, you're never going anywhere. She's never going anywhere. Then what, what does it matter if you're with somebody else sexually, right? Yeah, exactly. We happen to be a couple of winners in life. We do a great job. We both do our own thing. We're, we, nothing was missing.

We just added a hobby. This is not a lifestyle for us. This is just a hobby. Right. And it's just something to take your guy sex life to the next level after all these years. Yes. And it's so freaky because our communication level has doubled since then. And I never would have guessed it. But if you can talk about these things and get into the weeds with wants and needs and desires and dislikes and distrusts, then you can talk about anything, and it's really been surprising. Right. And wants and needs and desires that are outside of your guy's relationship even, right? It's not even about what you want and need and desire about each other, right? It's maybe how you feel about watching her fucking other guy or how she feels about that guy's

cock inside of her, right? I mean, like, these are things that most people would be, it would be so taboo to talk about. But if you really open that up, right, and you talk about that with, and there's no judgment and there's nothing attached to it, that must be really freeing, right? Yeah, that's amazing, just amazing, the level of honesty. And, you know, people tend to put their toe in the water,

and over time they say something, and then they, like, not they, I can say something, and then I can look her in the eye, I can think that hurt her or that was painful or she enjoyed that or that surprises her. And then if that's okay, then you can go a level deeper, and then I can go a level deeper,

and then I'm like, wow, this is amazing and there's nothing you can say. If long as it's true, there's nothing you can say that can be hurtful. Right. But it's not like right off the bat you could just go into it. You have to gauge the situation. Is that what you're saying? Absolutely.

Yeah, absolutely. And it's been really surprising. And that's the thing. I've mentioned it before in my show that I watched this movie about Swingers, like 30 years ago called The Lifestyle. And it, they, they went, they, it was a documentary and they spoke to those couples who, were at different stages of their married life together, right? Like, and they, at the end of the thing, like the couples that were together for the shortest

amount of time did not last that year of opening their relationship up. And the couples that were with each other, they said double digits, right? Double digit years were the ones who were successful. And I would think that this is not something that you want to throw into the mix, right, when you first meet somebody. Because like you said, you could look into her face and be talking to her. and know if she's getting uncomfortable with your... And like, that comes with really knowing somebody

and with a lot of intimacy with that person over many years, right? I mean, I just don't think you could have that sort of intuition about somebody else unless you've been with them for some time. Yeah, people who talk about doing this early, I want to... I wish them luck. I think, you know, I wish them the best. It may turn out fine, but I think, oh, boy, it's way early in the relationship. And the things that you say, it's like a golf shot.

when you say something early in the relationship, it's fine now 100 yards down. This is going to be way off. And it's not going to end well, probably. Who knows? Right. Yeah, you don't know. I've had some younger couples on who, like, were just right off the bat, like, this is who I am.

And that's how they got together. And I think, listen, you're always going to have people who fall on the opposite ends of the spectrum. Right. Like I would say most people, what you just said applies, right? You're going to have these people, though, right? Like, I had a young couple. And I don't know if they're going to last forever.

but they like met and they were freaky with each other and I had him on and her on separately. And they were like that right off the bat and it totally worked for them. But I think they're really lucky, you know, because they just found someone that matches up and was as honest and all that stuff right off. Like I said, will that go the distance? I don't know. And I don't think that that's the norm, right? I think in normal relationships, you know, heed the warning of what you just said, right? Yeah.

If you're using it to try to fix something. or chances are it won't work. But I think if you're just adding something fun and interesting, then it has a higher likelihood of working. Right. And for the couples, because I've had people on here who are dying to have this kind of situation, right? I've had the guys call in.

They're looking for that, but they just don't know that their girl would be open. I mean, you just threw it out there as far as like, let's go to the club, right? It wasn't like you said, I want to see you fuck someone else. You didn't even know that that would be what you were into, right?

It was kind of like that's how it sort of got the ball rolling. It was just going to the swingers club? Well, I made a mistake. That was a couple chapters down the road. Actually, earlier on, we were on vacation. And when you're on vacation in a resort area, people will do freaky things in public and just in a general way in a hotel on the beach in the area around it. And I thought, well, that's a really cute couple. It would be fun to watch them and to have them watch us.

And she said yes. And so I got on one of the, I got on Craigslist and I just listed, said, we want. a single mail of these statistics to come and watch us. It felt non-threatening. We were in control. We could set the situation. And these guys responded. And then over then a couple weeks of vacation,

we had three different guys come and watch. And surprisingly enough, she was open to playing with them softly with me. And then next thing you know, we're on full-on MFM and switching. And then it progressed even through those three dates. And then she was open to it. And then when we got home, I said, next time we're out of town in the city let's go to this club and I looked it up thinking

50% she'd say no and she said yes and what I didn't know about her was I believe in the imprinting that our first situations dictate our interests and our desires in the future we're just instantly wired to enjoy that thing. What I didn't know is some of her first experiences in sex

in general were exhibitionist in nature she had an older boyfriend and he was kind of into it and so I didn't know she was a bit of a performer from the start and so sudden she was enjoying the exhibitionism. She said she had all along and she had dropped hints and I didn't pick up on them.

And so, and then we agreed to try this stage and then this stage and then we went to the club. And I didn't know she would enjoy an experience with a couple of dozen of couples watching. That just blew my mind and she had wanted it all along and I didn't know that I was interested in it and it just feels like a great match. Yeah, but let's go back to that first time

now that you corrected the story, right? Because that's even more interesting than you just went to a club, right? So you guys are on vacation and you said you were doing like soft stuff with each other, right? Like you would be like those other couples on vacation. Like, oh, we're in some place. We don't fucking know anybody. Let's go fuck by the palm tree and maybe someone sees us. It's like naughty, right?

Like you said, a lot of couples were doing that, right? So you were on the beach one day and you saw a couple sort of doing that. Is that what happened? Doing something? We were in a high-rise hotel on a beach and there were verandas and people now. next to us were wide open out in the space. And I thought, wow, that looks like a lot of fun. Thinking she'd say, oh, yeah, good for them or whatever.

But it was interesting. And then we had a guy come into the room with us. And he had permission to do what he wanted. He could watch. He could ask permission to touch her all these things. And it moved a lot faster than I wanted. And I was a lot more comfortable and had a lot more fun with it. Then I thought, next thing I know, I'm setting up a date.

My date is to watch. My date is to watch them. and I was surprised that I would just sit back and watch and enjoy them doing their thing. And I would also surprise that she would enjoy it too. But from time to time, she stopped and she looked me in the eye and make sure that I was still okay with it. And it blew my mind and it seemed to really excite her too. But you said she just played with them kind of softly in the beginning. Are those three guys that, I mean, you did three different guys on your vacation that one time, three different sort of setups?

Yes. And what were you looking for as far as guys were concerned? Like what did your ad say? Do you remember? 10 years younger than us to 10 years older than us, high way proportionate. And we didn't care about the relationship situation because they don't know ours and we don't know theirs.

It doesn't matter. And now let me ask you this. Like you said you guys are both winners, right? And so I'm assuming that means like you guys are the full package. Like, I mean, is your wife, she used to call her, she's the hot wife, right? So like, does that mean she's got to be hot in the situation? I mean, I know that that's the title of like what you're into.

But I mean, is she like a fucking 10? What is she on a scale of one to ten? She's a nine because there are very few tens. Yeah, nine is really good. Yeah, exactly. I like to follow her someplace in public because I enjoy the men and women that check her out. I enjoy seeing them, seeing her. Okay, cool.

And so you put an ad up, when you put that ad up on Craigslist, do you put a picture of her or just like her body? No, no ad, no pictures. No pictures. And you're just like, we're a couple looking for a guy to come in and watch. just have sex. Is that what it was? Yep, exactly. Okay, and you gave the stats, like you said, 10 years younger. How old are you guys or when that started?

45. Okay, so you guys are like from 35 to 55, whatever you're looking, right? And so you get a bunch of people, and do they send their pictures? Like, do you like, or do they send just the pictures of their dick? Like, what do you get back from that? From the head? People say yes, situation, stats, whatever. They're really hesitant because they don't know what they're walking into.

They don't know if what they're walking into is honesty, but it is. Yeah, and so they're worried about they're going to end up in a room with a guy named Vince from Ohio that they don't know. What would they send back? Did you get pictures? You just got a, like, what did you get back? Yeah, I asked them. I said, so you're competing with other people. And I set all these things up.

You're competing with other people. Share your situation. Have you done this before? If so, what happened? Send a body pick, but no dick pick because I don't need to see it because everybody's got one. And they wouldn't be answering. So you got picks? Do you got face picks?

I mean, because like I'm wondering how you chose. Yeah. There are styles. You get styles of the answers. People that are too blunt to the point that they want to dominate. They want to take control. They want to just watch. You can tell in somebody's email response a couple of emails if they have any confidence

or not. And she finds confidence really attractive. And so if they are open and honest and out there and assertive but not aggressive, that's something that I find positive. and she finds attractive. And so, and they're more likely to actually show up. No, but what is, but in this, but I'm not talking in general. I'm talking very specific, right?

I'm talking about this first time, those three times, right? You said you put out the ad, like, what did, what were the, like, why did you pick the three guys that you picked? Like I just try to get into very specific of those first couple situations. And then we'll talk more general. Sure. Like, do you remember who the first guy was? Was it because he sent a hot picture?

Was he good looking? Like, what was his deal that you chose him first? A lot of people will follow through. And so in a 48-hour period, he'll communicate clearly. He will be honest. He's not too assertive, but he's not too passive. I know, but let me just say that I want to just correct you again. Because the way you're talking, I have to say, right?

Some people will be like, is he full of shit? Because I keep asking you sort of specific questions about an actual time. and you're talking in a tense that doesn't make sense to what actually happened. You're talking as if this situation and how somebody would respond, as opposed to telling me exactly how somebody did respond. Do you know what I mean? And I don't know if that's maybe the way you talk or like, I don't, you know, it's like I. It was almost a year ago.

And if you asked me it for specific and I had that specific, that would be a lie because it was a year ago. Right. So you don't remember. So you don't remember why you pick the three guys, but you pick three guys. So let me ask you, walk me through the first actual situation, right? So you guys decide that you're going to, I mean, do you have it down? Like you guys are going to be having sex? He's going to come to your, like, where is he going to watch you?

Are you going to do it outside someplace or did he come to your hotel room? Into our hotel room. Okay. And you guys knew, like, did you have it set up where was he going to be? Was he going to be sitting there? Did you want him like spying on you? Like, did you have drinks with him first? Like how, like just walk me through what happened that to first time.

Yeah, I met him at the entry. way of the condo because it's so damn confusing in a resort area and she shook hands and he looked me in the eye and I looked him back in the eye everything was fine um he brought I asked him to bring a beer because she likes a specific type of beer and he brought it and we went back and found a visitor parking space he came to the hotel room the bed was out and then there were a couple of easy chairs and we just sat around and had drinks and and we had a code that if she said something specific that he was out and if she said something specific he was in and then I could relax because you know I'm on watch. I'm worried about somebody whipping out a gun

and murdering us both. And so we needed to know, we needed to have a plan. Right. It was really nice. He was really comfortable, really easy going. He was nervous enough to be legit, but not so nervous that he wouldn't be able to enjoy himself. And it was just, he was just a plain old fashioned, nice guy. And so then after you're drinking

and stuff, you go back to the room and then did you just guys like, how long did the whole thing happen? And what did he see you guys like fucked and he watched you and he was jerking off? Like, what was the scenario? Yes, that was it. We actually, we met for drinks in the room. So he was in our room with us. So we knew, we're only there for a weekend. And we're only there for a week and then we moved for another weekend or another location.

So we weren't worried about them, you know, stalking us or whatever. And we always say when we do this, when we need somebody, oh, this is our last night in town. Because we don't want them to come back. No matter what it is, we don't want them to come back the next day. And we're still there hanging out and they're stalking us or spying on us. And so it's always, oh, this is our last night down before we go. So we met actually in the room. We had a drink. We hung out. The issue was fine. And then I could kind of take a brief. breath and relax. And then she just says it. She says, let's play. And we go to the room and then he was in an easy chair. We're on the bed hanging out, um, you know, some foreplay and then we got into it. And then

he was, he got naked too and he was stroking off. And then at some point she just reached over and brought him in. And then he was on the bed with us. And she was, um, stroking him and blowing him. And then it was really fun and super stimulating, which I, you know, I didn't know. I thought, oh shit, here we go to the next level. But to my surprise, it was next level. good, not next level, fearful or bad. Right, but she didn't have sex with him, she just blew him? Was that as far as she went? Yes. Right.

Okay. And then, you know, you said you would do something like that on your that happened on your last day there. So where did the other two guys come into play? You said on this vacation, you had three guys. So did you move someplace else within that time period? Yes, but that's our story. Our story

to tell these people we meet is always this is our last night in town. Oh, I hear you. But it's not really, right. it's not really we just don't want them to come back and try to find us if they yeah yeah yeah that's smart yeah um and then strangely enough we did that same thing with uh the third guy and then last night and then two days later we saw them at a bar and um i was like wow last night in town huh oh well hey we ended up staying longer or whatever so right so you i mean so the second time and the third time did she also blow those guys

like as far as it went no no she ended up screwing on both and i was really Christ and also totally loving it. And I was really surprised by it. Okay, listen, I have to say something because I'm like fucking Judge Judy, okay? And I have a very good memory. Like I ask all the questions I ask just come from my mind. I'm super curious about people. What I do remember is that you said when you did these three times, she didn't do anything

major with these guys. She just kind of softly played with them. It wasn't, you know, that's what you said in the beginning. And now you're telling me that she fucked them and blew them. that was the intent was that people were going to watch and then next thing i know they're coming on the bed with us and then she's stroking them and then she blew him and then by the end of by the end of the third guy she was screwing him and i was totally surprised okay but you did tell me before when you listen to this you'll hear and other people will hear okay i'm actually better than most people at like picking up things my mind is like a fucking computer chip something goes in and then if something comes in later that doesn't match that my mind picks it up and there's like warning someone's full as shit okay And that's fine. I find people full of shit calling into my show as fascinating as people telling the truth because that's an interesting thing too. But I have to call people out on it when I hear it, right?

And so I, you will hear yourself say, and I think what you said was that, and maybe I'm totally wrong, that you, when you guys played with the first three times, when you changed up your story and said it didn't happen at the club the first time it happened on the vacation. Vacation. Yeah, you said, but, you know, that's not what it. went hardcore. Like she just did, she played with them softly. Like she got them involved just very softly. But like I said, and then it's like softly is like, oh, you're, you know, she's fucking them. So what? So you're asking, I don't know. I am a little nervous. Okay. So maybe that's what it is. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, listen, if like, if someone's, it's hard to lie to me if I'm good, because I'm going to be asking you so many freaking questions. So as long as you're telling the

truth, it's very easy, right? Because how hard is telling the truth? It's more harder. to not. I had a guy on a long time ago named John who after a while I figured out he was full of shit, but he was so entertaining and people loved his show and it was so fascinating to me that he was lying and he would make up these. His stories got crazier and crazier that they've seen. It was so obvious he was. But I allowed him to come on a million times and people still write into me today because his episodes, people still find and they're like, he's full of shit. I'm like, yeah, I know it. But anyway, I don't believe that you're full of shit, but we have to, I have to ask you more questions to figure that. But wait, so, so you have those three times and each time it's good,

like it's totally cool. Each guy, like does she use protection with the guys? It's like, what's your guy's story? Right. 100%. 100%. Now, do you play with the guys at all? Are you totally hetero? Like, what do you do? I'm hetero, totally hetero. Okay. So there's nothing of you getting involved, but you like to see her with somebody else. Yes. Okay. So then when you come home and that and you guys, I'm assuming because you have such good communication you've been with each other for so long that you guys start talking about this and you realize like you tell her how much it turned you on and she was into it because I mean this is like a new thing right so how is that conversation after the first time like holy shit? Yes, it was a holy shit. And he left and I looked at her and I said, that was amazing. And she said, that was amazing.

But she was still hesitant because she was worried about hurting me. And so, but when she got into it, she was into it. And at the time, but after the fact, you know, sometimes people lose control. And after the fact, they say, wow, did I go too far to their partners? And I think maybe sometimes their partners say, yeah, that went too far. I was uncomfortable. I didn't like it. I didn't like him.

I didn't like her, whatever. But it was amazing. We both had a really good time and enjoyed ourselves. and yeah, it's awesome. Okay, so then how long, so that's that vacation, right? And then you come home and then a couple, a little while after that, you say, let's go to this club. And I mean, I'm assuming, I'm wondering why you wouldn't think that she'd be into it because, I mean, you guys already really. I mean, I don't think you're dipping your toe into things when, if you're on vacation,

fucking other guys and, you know, so like, I mean, to me, you're in it, right? So now the natural progression would be, let's go do this where we live and maybe, explore a little bit more? So we don't do it where we live. But we travel a lot on purpose. Yeah, we travel a lot of us. We already had that other trip set up. And I said, well, we're there.

Let's go to this thing. And I sent her the website and she checked it out. And to my surprise, she said, yes, because, you know, it's different than sex in your hotel room. I don't care. You know, what your hotel room is. It's different in public with 100 people in the club. Okay.

So you're someplace else, right? You're on another. You're traveling again and you go. And then, and what kind, it was a swingers club, right? Yes. And where did you find it? I always like to ask those questions because it helps other people. I search swingers club or sex club in the particular city we were going to.

Right. Okay. And so you just, it wasn't like fat life or you weren't in a community. It was just like you Googled that and you found this one place. Yes. How much did it cost to get in? I'm always curious about those questions. To join us like a $20 or joining fee and then maybe $100,

depending on the night or the theme. And there were three clubs in that city. It was in Portland, Oregon. There was a regular club, an S&M club, and then a club that tends to be more towards bisexual or gay. And so we went to the straight club. So you found these three clubs. And so you go to the one club, and that's when you realize, oh, like you have all these couples watching you and stuff. Like what went down on your first experience?

So I thought, well, so I have something of performance. anxiety which surprised me. And so we started to play with the cool thing about this club is everything's a play area at the bar on the dance floor in the eating area. I mean anywhere you want to get freaky you can get freaky and but I was it was hard for me to and relax and enjoy myself in protective mode or being watched mode. And so after bit because we had enjoyed being with another person then I said what about that guy? Do you find that guy interesting or whatever in this particular club allows a lot of single men. And so there were a lot of guys.

allowed to go in without a woman because normally that's not the case. Yeah, we really like it. We got used to it because because we go for single men, it's the perfect place for us. So when we travel and go other places and they just, they limit the number of people or they discourage it or they charge them a bunch of money extra, it creates a lot of resentments in the community. Then it's hard for us to find somebody to hang out with. But this particular club, that's a lot of guys there in anyway.

So I said, what about that guy? What about that guy? And she said, well, they're okay. They seem fine and nice, but nobody would approach us. And we don't, we don't do a lot of the approaches. So I just went on a walk. And every time I walk away within about 60 seconds, somebody is talking to her. You know, guys wait to make their approach until they're gone, as if I don't know she's there.

Yeah. But anyway, and so then she'll find somebody nice that's pleasant. And once she starts to get horny, it's a slippery slope. And so the first or second approach will typically work and then she'll come and find me and say, I found a guy to play with. Let's do that. And then we went to a closed room. And then next thing, you know, you could open up the curtains and then open up the window.

And if she looked in, you know, people can look right in on us. And there, you know, there'll be a couple standing in the window watching us two feet away with a third guy. And they'll be commenting or touching or, you know, it moves pretty fast when you're in the room with everything wide open. Right. So the first time what you did was you went into that room and let other people watch you or she was with another guy. Yes. Right. Yeah, yeah, took a guy in there.

And then she's surprisingly insatiable when she gets going. She's always multi-organismic. She comes on fingers really quickly. And so we'll go to a club in that case. She probably came six or eight times because it just happens. I mean, once she gets turned on, it's fun and interesting to watch. Right. Lucky her.

Yeah, lucky me. Right, exactly. And lucky other guys, right? So at that time, like, so when you go, so you do this now often in the past, year like yeah every couple three weeks we'll travel somewhere and then and you always find a club or do you because there's no Craigslist now right so where do you put ads yeah now we are the way don't need to do ads we just find the clubs now because we're most comfortable in the club scene and it's so comfortable

and they're typically our rules and as long as people follow them then we don't have to I don't have to be on guard all the time because there are people to make sure that the rules are followed right right and so when you guys go there now let me ask you this because we're talking about like her being with other people and that's the on and that's a situation you guys have set up. Are you with other women? Is that not something on the table? Like what's the deal with that?

No. No. I thought that that would be the case. And now I'm wide open to do whatever I want to do. But I don't want to miss anything. I don't want to get separated. I get to watch her and I get to participate as much as I want. And then at the end, I get to jump in and do my thing or sometimes I'll just watch all night.

But when we go back to the hotel and I wake up the next morning, I'm thinking about what happened. and we knock it out of the park. It's a great situation. Everyone always says it adds to their sex life afterwards. Absolutely, right? It's like you guys have the best sex. But no, I mean, is she open to being with women at all or no?

No, and she's not against it, but she doesn't, she isn't interested in reciprocating. And she's a really clear communicative. Now, she'll look at a girl and a girl will come up to us sometimes and talk to us. And she'll say, I'm interested. You know, we can touch and all that, but I'm not really into girls. And so if you just want to play with me, that's okay. but I want to be up front. I don't go down on girls.

I don't really enjoy that. But I love girl parts and I love girls. And so, you know, you're welcome to come with us. And we have a couple times. But you don't go further with those women. Like she hasn't figured out that maybe she would be attracted to you being with other women. Or is that something that, like, have you guys discussed that at all? We have.

And I'm just not interested in it. And so I think it helps her level of safety because I'm not all. I think my impression is a lot of guys, they go this route to try to get something. on the back end. If I open it up for her, then over time, I'll get what I want. I'm already getting what I want. It's perfect. No, but I'm just saying, but it's been perfect for a long time. But like you, right, like you were the type of person who somehow realized you were turned on by seeing her with someone else. Has she ever thought to herself whether she might be interested in watching you with somebody else as well? Like not, I mean, I was like that she might like that too. We talk about it. I'm

she but it's not compelling for her and it's not compelling for me so it's working way to want to break anything right so you're you guys haven't gone there and so she doesn't think me i mean so at this point she's not thinking that that's something that would turn her on that's not something that she wants you to do at all and you're cool with that because you're totally now in your relationship before all this like you were always i'm assuming totally faithful yes yeah we got a lot right right you're monogamous by nature then i mean like to be with someone for that long and not need variety and to stay like you're the I like that's a monogamous by nature person well yeah except this is really natural and really easy and it it's evolving you know the more things that we do and so you know

I'm not sure no I mean to stay that to stay that to stay half like you didn't need variety like a lot of guys will claim and I think not every guy is this way and that's why I like to have so many people different people on my show to show people how there's all different guys that exist and there are guys who are completely monogamous and can be completely monogamous and there's a lot of guys that can't right you're somebody that could

you were with the same person you said for 30 years and never needed variety whereas a lot of guys would say that they do right so to me that's interesting right because it's just like I know that that exists because I have a lot of guy friends it's not like every guy cheats right it's like some people think that and you know so to me it's interesting that you never had that desire and even now that you guys are really freaky that you even don't have that like that you're just totally cool with your wife being with your wife all this time and has you don't you're not looking for that right my needs are met this is just a hobby so it's it's really interesting because i thought it would be a slippery slope and it just hasn't been so right you still don't i mean well because listen you just you added so much to your you had

good sex before, right? You said that never sort of went out the window. You guys were still horny for each other. So, you know, and now you just added the fact that you could watch your fuck other guys and you're totally into it, right? And you have that exhibitionist thing going on where you must like being watched too, right? On some level. On some level. But if I think about it too much, I can't keep it up because I got to be totally in the zone, you know, like totally turned on. Right. Otherwise, yeah, I just can't do it. you like though to watch and then to tell the guy and to talk about like what you want them to do and sort of orchestrate the scene no no no i said it no i set it up and she's plenty confident taking

control and so once i set it up once the hotel room door opens or we go into the club what happens happens i just surprise to me as much as it is to anybody right oh okay because i thought you said like the hot wave situation is and their stag is that you like to direct what goes down um i like to have limits and boundaries, but I don't ever get shamed, and nobody's putting me down. Right. Most people that are participating in this thing, I don't know if that's not unusual or people get what we're doing, but we don't struggle or have any problems with that. Yeah, no, no, no.

I think when I asked you what it meant, like you said, like, I like to tell them what to do, and I thought there was some aspect to you sort of controlling the situation and that you would be there like, do this to her, do that to her. No. No. No. In the setup, we talk about the boundaries and what she'll do, what she won't do, what's on limits and what's on balance. Right. So you're in control of like the situation with her. It's not like you like to sort of get involved in what she's doing with the guy and tell them what to do. Right. Okay. I think I was confused. I think what you thought, what you said was that that's what it was. Because like, what is a stag. A stag is a guy that's the hot wife partner that is not being humiliated. He's in control or setting it up. That's what I do. Right, right, right. So it is, like I said, because I think that not all people that call them that say that they cuckle, they don't, sometimes that aspect of the humiliation isn't involved. So maybe they would be like the stag guy too, right?

Yes. And now, so you've been doing this for about a year, right? Like, do you have any idea like, is there anything coming on the horizon that you guys like, has your girl been with like multiple guys at the same time? This has, it's been a wonderful progression. Right. So like how has it progressed? multiple club experiences she'll surprisingly meet two guys and bring them back and come and ask and these guys are watching me carefully she'll apparently tells them what she wants that i get to watch and participate when i want if they're okay with that some guys will say no i don't want a husband watching some guy all size will say i'm fine with it she comes and finds me and looks me in the eye and says i'd like to go play it's just that simple and i'm like okay let's do it and then she brings me to meet the guys and they're watching me carefully for my reaction is am I going to try to control it? Am I going to be, am I into them? Because some guys say, yeah, I'll do it, but he doesn't get to touch me, which is perfect.

Right. And so, and then surprisingly, they're easy going. I meet you going. We go back through my watch for a while and sometimes join and sometimes just enjoy a beautiful artwork. Right. Now, you've never fooled around with a guy. They've never tried to touch you.

Do you get involved while they're involved? Or do you, oh, that has happened? I've been on the bed and I've had a guy to reach over and grab a hold of me. and I'm just, I just move right through it. I mean, I don't recoil, but I don't enjoy it. It's just not interesting to me. You know, you can think about things or whatever, but it's just not interesting and it just doesn't do anything for me.

So you do, besides watching, right, and liking that, you do get involved in play, like, where she's, like, blowing you and some other guys fucking her. Like, I mean, is that kind of stuff going down? So it's not like you're not involved. Correct. And I'm right there in the room, so I'm enjoying the show. And sometimes I participate, sometimes she'll beckon me in.

She doesn't want me to just watch. and sometimes I just want to watch. Sometimes I'll decline, you know, for a while. Mm-hmm. And there's never been any kind of jealousy with you or like. No, it's freaky. But no. Well, I guess it's because, like you said,

you guys have been with each other for so long. You have such good communication with each other, right? You know that she's not going anyway. She's your girl. Now, is there anything that she, like, because you say you go home and you talk about it and you have like the best sex ever and I'm assuming you guys have conversations about it right at that open communication is what's killer like is there stuff is there more stuff that she has talked about that she wants it like has she ever done double penetration like is there so is she like looking to do that kind of stuff is there anything that's like on the coming up that it's like you know because a lot of times you know you do these things and you do it over and over and then it's like okay now like how do we up the ante right and there's other stuff coming down the line sure um so she doesn't um She tends to do what she wants to do and she doesn't have a bunch of fantasies in her brain.

I'm the one that's like this along. I've made each of these suggestions and she's come along with it. And some of it she's been just okay with her. Some of it she's gone nuts on. Like she loves being watched because of that first experience. And so, yeah. But she doesn't come up with and say, let's do this next or whatever. Right.

So what was there? So you believe, like you said, that whatever somebody sort of imprints in them in their first sexual experience is what sort of is they get, they get. get wired at, right? Like they've become wired to like that. What was the situation that happened to her with her guy, her boyfriend, when they were younger? Yeah, she was in high school and he was in college and he rented a house that had a pool and she apparently went to meet him for a date or maybe he picked her up and brought her back there when they got there. There were other guys there and there was like, I don't know, three or four or five guys and they did it. They did it by the pool with the other guys watching. And she thought she didn't like it at the time. But now, you know, it's really deep and it bubbles up and she likes being watched and that's what we attributed to. Oh, because of that first experience and at the time she didn't enjoy it but you think like your thinking

or whatever you believe in, right, is that because that happened to her there was a connection made? Yes. Now do you think, let me ask you this, this is like more psychological but I like this stuff too. Do you think, because this is what you believe and you must know about it, do you think that she

had to orgasm during that kind of situation to make that connection or does she just have to be slightly stimulated or does it just get sort of the connections made just from being in the situation? Then or now? No, I'm saying like in general, you said that you believe that like these kind of connections can be made by having these situations happen, you know, when you're first sort of having, you know, experimenting. So for her to be imprinted, right, and get horny for being watched, does she have to be. horny during that time that that imprint is being made is what I'm saying like because you said she didn't really know that she enjoyed it right so was that still sort of wiring her for future pleasure

for that I don't know I don't know how it works endorphins are strange and I think they create strong imprints you know people have traumatic experiences of all types and then it alters their synapses for the future and this this happens to be about a sexual experience but it could been about anything and I relate that because my first experience I have the same type of imprinting and I no matter what I do I can't fight it and so I think if there are two of us and we are two these strange imprints that it must be a thing what is your what is your imprint and what how did it get imprinted I had an experience with a woman that was four years older than me when I was too young to be sexual and I and I'm still super attracted to older women and how old

were you and who was she like your babysitter or some shit like that or like something like something worse? How old were you? Do you remember? Oh my therapist would say I was 13 or 14 by however those people make those determinations. Right but it's but you remember sort of it happening but you don't remember exactly like how old you were I get that and what did she do and was it repeated? Yeah it was repeated over time yeah and she was your babysitter. Yes. Can you fucking believe what did she do to you though like how far did it go? Did she like me? Because I've heard other stories that I'm like, are you got to be kidding me? Like this woman was totally kind of like, quote unquote, molesting you?

I don't know. Yeah, yeah, I was straight on molestation. And I mean, it started low. It went higher. It was systematic. I knew it when it was going to come because it's when we were in that situation. And it was systematic. And then over time, it just stopped because she stopped coming to work or it stopped.

I don't know what happened. But now is it something you always remember? Did it come out in therapy? I know you said you were a sober guy, right? So it came out in therapy. Yeah, it came out in therapy over a really long time. Right. So it was something that.

you didn't remember at first. Yeah, it was totally repressed. Yeah, they say that like repressed stuff, like most of the time, if it's repressed, it happened more than what, like a lot of times if it's something that happened just one time, you'll have a memory of it. But if something happens so repeatedly, like, that's the kind of stuff you repress, right? Because it's, no, I think anything's going to be repressed that your body and brain aren't, don't know how to reconcile.

Right, right, even if it's just one time. Yeah, there are people that have a plain record. was I don't know I've read up on it and I think that there was some sort of study that said like the more repeated it was like the more likely to get repressed but like I don't know someone could Google that and find out who's right or wrong and I'm sure there's studies to say both right a problem exactly but but so and so you and because I know that you said you were sober right like you obviously started to act out right you started to drink do your thing right and so when you Did this stuff come out when you got clean?

Yeah, long after, actually. Yeah, and listen, it's as a server person, it doesn't I tell people this all the time? Like, you get better and better over time. Like, you know, in two years after you quit drinking, you think, wow, like you can't believe how far you've come and how much you changed. But then 10 years later, you're like, wow, I can't believe I thought I was grown and changed two years out. You know what I mean?

Because it just keeps happening, right? Yeah, there's a phrase that more will be revealed over time, and that's good, bad, and a different more will be really you'll know more over time yeah and it happens and it just gets better and better right you know more and it takes a long time i think to sort of catch up to yourself uh you know after being sort of checked out for so long right but over time you came up to understand that this is what happened and i did hear on this really good podcast recently i forget who was talking about it but she was talking about how and she was a therapist talking about how like you know uh and i think it came up because they were talking about strippers and they were saying like you know

What about like strippers or their, like, you know, so many of them are like sort of, oh, yeah, it was Dak Shepherd. He has a really good podcast. He was talking to somebody and they were talking about how a lot of people think that strippers are marginalized and whatever and most of them are doing it and acting out because of stuff that happened to them. And she said, like, you know, and he was saying, like, is that like necessarily a bad thing?

And then if you're looking at it. And she was talking about how, you know, if somebody takes something that happened to them, right? and they can control. Like she gave an example of one of her patients who was physically abused a lot when she was younger and sort of got into S&M when she was older and made that connection because of that kind of a thing. But she said that if that person is sort of acting that out and realized that it's something

that they enjoy because they were just wired that way through this sort of dysfunctional thing that happened to them, right? But they're now in control of it and they're doing it in a way that is okay. you know, that could be very empowering, right? Like, what do you do with that? You just sort of take it and run with it. And if it's in a safe kind of way and it's something that you're okay with and you know that that's why you're doing it. I think that's with a point that she made, that if you know that that's why and you can make that connection,

that that's why you like that because of these things that happened to you, but you could recreate the situations and be in control of them, then that's okay, right? It's not something that you don't have to sort of look away. I find you could go into it right so like you had this older woman thing like you could go into that sort of and be okay with it as long as it's safe and you know that that's the reason right but you have the older you didn't do that though you didn't really sort of act out on that right because your girl is around your age right yes yeah that's the trip that I'm compelled towards older women but my wife is the same age as me and so that's and that causes concern for her she wants to know that I'm that I'm that I'm uh being honest about what my desires are because she says, well, you never want to pursue old women. I'm thinking just because I find them attractive and find them sexually charged doesn't mean that I want to pursue them. I mean, you know, lots of people look and don't touch and I'm not compelled to do so. It's not as interesting as it used to be.

Right, right. That's cool. And like when you say older, right, like so if you're 45, right, like what's an older woman to you now? I mean, that's a different answer when you're 25, right? But when you're 45, is it like, does it have? to be someone like 60 because I had a guy on here, Dr. Guy, who was a guy that I dated, and he's a really good friend of mine. And I've called him out on this on the podcast many times. So I'm not talking behind his back. But I was always like, I know your secret thing is you like really fucking old ladies. Like I just can't explain it why I know it. Like I just

think that that's his sort of freak flag that he does not fly. He doesn't talk about. And for many reasons, I think that, you know. So I, you know, he was in his 50s, you know, late 40s so I believe that his attraction was for women and they're 60 you know just somebody way older than him like that was like the thing right so I'm just wondering if you have the is it that for you no it's five-ish five-ish years is really interesting just makes me take a second look right so someone just like a little bit older than you so maybe it's because like your your sort of babysitter maybe was five years older than you who knows how long you've been sober for 13 years.

Yeah, isn't it hard to count after? Because I'm like at like, sometimes I'm like 15 or 16. I don't even fucking know. I just remember I'm like 34 and that, you know. And what was your bottom and what got you to quit? I mean, you were obviously with your wife at the time, right? Because you got, he's been together for so long. Yes.

What made you, what was your bottom? Good question. Do you remember? I do, but it's pretty, specific. And I kind of hate to talk about it. It's raising hell at work. It's trying to,

I was a periodic. So it's like a double life where when I drink, I'll do violence and I'll steal things and I'll act crazy. But when I am sober, I say I'm ethical and I'm moral and I do all these things. And I just could no longer keep the balls in the air. It was just a crazy thing. And I recognize I thought, I'm

total Jacqueline Hyde. I mean, I just go nuts. Yeah, and I think it's bullshit when I hear. people say, because a lot of like regular people will say, oh, it's like a truth serum, like who you are when you drink is who you really are. And I don't think that that's true. What the problem I had with alcohol was it would make me do things and especially towards the end and say things that wasn't me. You know what I mean? I didn't want, that wasn't who I wanted to be. For some reason, I was like putting myself out there in a much more disingenuous way.

I'm able to be really who I am much more so without alcohol. It wasn't like it brought out me. To me, it brought out a part of me that wasn't. right, you know what I mean? And wasn't true. And I think that, so I think it's, uh, people need to know that, you know, um, maybe it's true serum for the regular person that has two drinks and now they're like admitting shit. You know what I mean? But like, like the fact that you were stealing and doing all these things, like, is probably not who, it's not who you were. It was like alcohol, you do that. You don't, could never do that with that alcohol. Well, I don't know. It's a chemical and everybody has different biology. And so I wouldn't expect it to have all the same result with all. the same people. And so it's just a, it's doing something, doing things I didn't want to do against my core values. And I just thought after a while, it just all came crashing down. This is crazy. Yeah, but my point is that you would never do that kind of stuff without alcohol. It's not anything like what you would ever even think of, like you said. Right. I mean, if you use a stealing, right. Right. You never, right. And now, and so you've been sober for 13, around 13 years. And now,

was your wife a drinker or? it always was and she can still have one or two and leave it on the counter and that flabbergasts me right i mean i get it like i mean so i always look at it like listen and some people are just everyone's dealt different cards like i just can't drink but other people can and that's fine with me i like same here yeah i can have people drink in front of me it doesn't matter and i and it's like great that they can like like i said you know but they have other things that they can't do that i could you know and it's just like that's the way you got to look at it like it's it all evens out some way but if you can't drink, you just have to know that.

But also know that other people don't, it's not like everybody has that problem. Other people, it's not a, alcohol is not the problem. It's the addiction to it, right? It's so. Yeah. So it's like it's okay. But that's cool that you're at that place and that your wife could still drink and that you're, I'm sure you're, she was happy.

I'm sure that you quit, right? It must have helped your relationship. Yes. Right. Yeah. So really, it's not that I can't. It's that I don't want to anymore. I don't want to.

don't have to anymore. I mean, I thought all my happiness was tied to it. And all it did was create problems. But it takes a long time to see that for me to reconcile that. To reconcile what? That it created all the problems that it did. And that was the cause of it and that you shouldn't drink. And you just have it. Yeah. And how consuming it is to try to live a double. How consuming it is to try to remember the stories and all that. Man, you let that stuff go. It's amazing how freeing, I sleep like a baby now. And it's amazing. I know. I used to have this job and entertainment at a very big company. I worked for a boss who represented like really famous people and like I like I have to tell you and like and then I would go out after work and wear a shirt that was like I love my pussy and be fucking blackout drunk and all that and it was like a total but and I never missed work and I always showed up and I like but you like I remember being so nervous when I would go to work functions because I really respected my boss and really liked him and I never wanted to sort of tarnish his name because I knew what I was capable of you know so it was like. That's the only time I would really, when I had work functions, really try really as hard as I could to stay away from alcohol because I knew what I was capable of and what I did when I wasn't around work.

But when the two got involved, it was a scary, slippery slope because, you know, I never wanted a sort of that life to collide with my other life, you know? Yeah, one of the big lessons for me is to determine that if I have to plan around it so much that it's part of the problem. And I never got that. I thought, well, it's a black and white question. If I'm not drinking, I should be perfectly happy. And if I am drinking, I was happy. But it's much more than that. It's, you know, at one point, I didn't drink on a dare for a certain number of days.

And the fact that I counted the days, the fact that I counted down and that I had to raise hell when that day came, that's, I'm planning around it. And that's what makes it part of the problem. Yeah, totally. I didn't get that at the time. In retrospect, I'm like, how could I have not seen that? Yeah, I remember a specific place exactly where I was when it exactly happened. And the fact that I remember what my friend said to me at the time means that it really imprinted in me, right? But at the time, I didn't know it.

It was many years that I quit later. But he said to me, like, isn't it? I was telling him another crazy fucking thing that happened to me. And he was like, isn't it really interesting, Kathy, that all this drama and all these problems that you have always happen when you're drinking. And like I said, at the time that he said that, and I didn't think, it didn't, I didn't even hear it. You know what I mean? But yet it's something that I really remember. like I said, I know what was on the TV and the steakhouse.

Like, we were in a steakhouse, but we're in the bar area. Like, I know, I see the whole thing, you know, and it's because that some part of me, that part of me, I think that helped me get out of being a drink. You know, it really resonated as a truth, and I knew that. That person really took a risk to try to offer you an opportunity. Oh, yeah. Well, he's really, he's one of my smartest fucking friends, and he's my friend to this day. And he just threw that out there.

And he was right on the money. And it was totally true. And, you know, so it's just like, I know that, and that's like something that I remember. So it's just like, yeah, there's a lot of drama. And if it's like creating all these problems in your life and it's like, you know, that sort of sentence, if someone said it to you, if that rings true too, even the slightest, it's like there's probably like some sort of issue there. But anyway, that's a whole other podcast. I have calls with people all the time that quit drinking. It's like one of my favorite topics because I'm a sober person and I've been for so long.

So it's always great to talk to someone a little bit. want to get that too into it because we talked about all your other stories do you know what you mean i know you said like your wife couldn't come on she would have said hello i personally like to talk to somebody by themselves i have had i have had couples on before but i just think it's hard to get a lot of interesting stuff out of those calls because one person cuts the other person off and then i'm cutting people off because i do that too and then it's less like i feel i get more information talking to somebody alone right so talking to you i feel like i got more about what you and your wife are doing and, you know, and whatever, then if I would have just spoke with you guys

together. And since you're doing this only for about a year, I feel like who knows where you guys will be at and what you'll be doing a year from now. So keep me posted on any new things. If you ever start hooking up with girls, if that becomes something that happens down the line, you never know, right? Yeah, I wouldn't say never, but I sure doubt it. I mean, my needs are being met and I keep coming back and I'm really happy with it. And so it's like, why would I mess with the formula? Well, only because, and I keep saying this, but this is my point about that.

It's not about you. It's what about if that's her need? I don't think it would come because you're going to say that's what I want. And I think sometimes I've had a lot of like monogamous guys on my show like you who are involved and like they let their wife be with other guys because that's what they're into and they're not with other girls because of, but if they're, I'm saying if it became your wife's need, like if she said, hey honey i really want to watch you fuck someone out like i feel like that might get me horny at this point

you know you know you never know if that might happen that's all i'm saying it's not about i don't saying that you're going to come out and say oh i want to be with other women but she might decide that she wants to have that same experience like you're having yes yeah wow i'm selfish self-centered you asked the question i made it all about me didn't i yeah you did yes yeah i tend to do that Yeah, but that's not what I mean. And every time I've talked about that aspect is I'm really thinking that, like, maybe it's something that she would be into. And she might eventually want to explore that because, look, it's something that you were and you didn't know. And I've had women on.

This is not just a guy thing that they like to see their girl. I mean, I think that I've had just as many women on that have gotten into that as well. So you don't know that that's something that she would like, just like you didn't know. So I'm just saying that, you know, because you guys are doing this and because you're open to it and you're going to be sort of like in that world, you just don't know if a year or two years from now, like she might not be like, hey, I want to see you with somebody. Yes, I don't know that. Right. So that's so, you know, keep me posted. And if you ever want to come back on and tell us more stories, you know, because you guys will be traveling around.

Feel free. But thanks so much for calling in. You bet. Thanks for having. I've enjoyed it. Awesome. Thanks, Steve. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available not only in paperback and ebook, but you can pre-order the audio book. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang being girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person. And they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person. And I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. 17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format, and finally, the audio book is available

coming out August 25th, but you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord. My Discord. does not disappoint. Okay. There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me. Okay. I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other. And that's what you get to do there. You could post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total strictly anonymous community and you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord.

It's private, like I said. All you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook, or the paperback. Send it to me at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. That's strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. And I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in. This is the strictly anonymous podcast.