Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 312 - Jane is a Bored Housewife with a Wandering Eye

Episode Date: December 2, 2019

Jane is a bored housewife who wants to start hooking up with other guys on the side and her husband is totally okay with it. But, she hasn't pulled the trigger yet. How and when did she tell her husband she wanted to be with other guys? How does he feel about it? Is it better for her to hook up solo with the other guys or should she hook up with them in front of her husband in a threesome scenario? Tune in to find out plus hear all about why she feels she bored in her marriage, what else is she missing, what she can do about it and a whole lot more. **To see anonymous pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the strictly anonymous podcast. Strictly anonymous podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. The Craigslist is definitely like the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Singapore or Thailand. You can't not do it.

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Hey, welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast with Kathy. If you want to follow the strictly anonymous podcast on Instagram or Twitter, follow the show at Strict Anonymous. If you want to be on the show, this is a call and advice show where I talked to total strangers about all kinds of things. A lot of times people are just calling you to talk about their secret lives and their naughty lives. But sometimes I talk to people because they're looking for advice. I'm, I give unprofessional advice, but I think it's good advice. So if you want to call into the show and you fall into any of those categories, send me an email at Shrictly Anonymous Podcast at Jumel.com or go to my website, Shrictly Anonymous Podcast.

com and click on Be on the Show. Today I have on a girl. Oh, wait. If you don't want to be on the show, first of all, I'm getting so many emails and so many people want to be on my show and it's like I have so many fucking episodes taped. So if you want to be on the show and you send me an email, it takes me a couple days to get back to you or it takes a while before we schedule a time. I'm just, don't worry about it.

Like, it'll eventually happen. I just have a lot of people emailing me. But the other thing that I've been doing lately is I'm doing, like, sort of coaching. I don't know what you want to call it. But, like, if you want to call up and talk to me and, like, talk about your secret life for the first time while remaining anonymous or get some, like, unprofessional advice from me. But you don't want it to air online. I do offer that as a service. There's a fee for it.

But if you want to do that, send me an email at strictly anonymous podcast at gmail. small.com and I'll explain the fee and explain how that goes to as well. So like I said, you'd be calling in, you'd be talking to me, but I wouldn't air the episode. It would be just between me and you, so it would be very anonymous. Today I'm on a girl named Jane. Jane wrote in because she was like, I'm a bored housewife. She's been with her husband a really long time. She's, you know, she's super young. She's 26 and she's got this husband. And they've been together since she's like 19 and they have a kid and she's like looking to have an open relationship. She wants to be with other guys.

I don't think her guy really wants to be with other people. And they've talked about it and he's explained how he feels about it. And they're like really close to being together. But for some reason, I don't know, she can't pull the trigger. And we talk all that's what we talk about. We talk about, you know, what's missing in her life, what she has in her relationship, you know, how she's brought. up the conversation about having a threesome how her husband feels about it what her reservations are

and all that stuff it's like more detailed than that but it's mostly about that and it's interesting because like i said like it seems like our husband's kind of okay with everything but it seems like she maybe wants to be with guys alone i don't know and towards the end like right before we hung up I felt like she seemed irritated by my. And then, I don't know, at the end, I gave her some homework to do, which, and a lot of advice. And, you know, we'll see if she takes it. But it's just super interesting because I think, like,

her problem is super common, but her solution is not common. It's, you know, her solution to her not being so fulfilled in her relationship right now. Even though she loves her husband and everything's fine there, is that she's looking for me. be another guy in her life right now. Just sex. Not like a guy relationship, but that's the whole thing of like,

should she see the guy alone? Should she see the guy with her husband? We talk all about that. Anyway, this is a long-assed intro. I'm gonna be right back on with Jane. So you wrote in and you have, I mean, you said you're 26 years old and well,

maybe you haven't been married for seven years, but you're married, right? And you've been with your husband for seven years. And I'm like, did she get married when she was like 19? No. No. Probably not, right? You just been together with them, right? Yeah, exactly. We got together when I was 19 and we've only been married a couple of years. So now let me ask you this. Did you lose your virginity to him? No, I did not. Okay. So you're with, how many guys were you with before?

Oh my gosh. A lot? Yes, a lot. So, um, what's a lot to you? Yeah. Huh? No, go on when you were. When I was 18 is when I actually lost my virginity. And from 18 until 19 when I met my husband, I was wild. So a lot, I don't know, I didn't really count after a while. But I'm guessing maybe around 30. Okay. So you lived out a little bit. And the reason why I'm asking you this, not like, you know, to call you a whore or anything.

Because you're like getting like you wrote in because you're like I'm married I've been with this guy for seven years and I'm starting to have a wandering eye, you know, so I was like wondering like you know because you've been with him since you're 19 like did you just like you know were there many guys before him? Did you sort of let your freak flag fly before you settle down with one person? But even so I mean like 30 guys sounds like a lot right. Yeah it is. But it still was such a short span of time. Like I think the time, like, you know, it wasn't, it was just a couple of years, right? Before now you're with someone you're supposed to spend the rest of your life with, which is. Yeah.

I mean, doesn't that seem ridiculous? I mean, yeah, it does. Like the rest, like, I used to say, I used to say, like, there's something called marriage math. Like, if you take the number that you assume you're going to die at, let's say you're going to die when you're 87, right? And you minus it from the age you are now, right? How old are you now? 26. Right.

Well, minus 26 from 87 and you got what, 61? Is that right? Yeah. Yeah, you got 61 years with the same fucking person. That's scary shit, okay? It is. Sorry to say. That's why I was always horrified by marriage because I did the marriage math in my head.

I was like, that's just way too long. Now that I'm like, oh, you know, the numbers make a little bit more sense. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. But you're super young. So that's like some skit. Like that's like with the same person. And this coming from a girl who, you know, was with a lot of guys before, which isn't

bad. I was with a lot of guys in my life. Okay. I have some numbers up there. I don't, I haven't. I don't count either. And probably it's way more than 30, you know. And so it's not to say that there's anything that I'm judging you for that.

But I'm just saying that you're, you're. you're, you know, you're more wired to be somebody that maybe, you know, because I think some women that have low numbers or like they have to be very like maybe in love with somebody to have sex with them or, you know. Yeah, that's definitely not me. Right. That wasn't me either. So I get it.

But, yeah, I'm not one like, I didn't want to get married. So for the longest time, I held off on that. But even like before I got married, I told my husband, when we're older, I'm definitely not going to be strictly monogamous. Like, that's impossible. Right. And what did he say to that when you told him that? He agreed to it, but I don't know. He, it's not really his nature to, like, I am the one who took his virginity.

So, and he's kind of like, if I am not with anybody else for the rest of my life, I'm I'm fine with that. Yeah, but let me tell you. No, but let me just tell you something that I noticed in doing my show for five years. I've talked to a lot of couples who have open relationships. And, you know, ones where the woman is with other people. And I have to say a lot of times the dynamic is like what you have with your guy. Like a lot of times.

And it is like the woman is paired up with a guy. who is by nature very monogamous, very in love with his girl, and he just lets her do her thing and goes along with the ride because it's more her thing. I've had numerous, more than numerous, like what would be the other word? You know, like many couples like that. Do you understand?

Well, that's reassuring. And it tends to work best like that. I'll look like when we get off this call, I'll look at it. I'll go through my list and find you a couple of episodes. so it's listened to. So you could just see the similarities. But like I I promise you that it is a thing like because your guy said okay like it, but it's not like his thing. It can work where it's just your thing. And like I said, he comes along for the ride. And that would work probably for somebody like you better anyway. Do you know what I mean? Right. Yeah. I think it would. It's just I feel selfish when I say the things I need and he doesn't have those same kind of needs. I'm like, you know, just feel bad about that. Right.

But if he's okay with it, right? Well, he says he's okay with it. And I think when I brought it up before we got married, he was just, you know, he said, oh, okay. But I don't know. I mean, since I wrote you that email, I actually did bring it up with him again. And his words were saying, you know, let me think about it. But as we were talking about it, his body was involuntarily, like, shaking. Oh, God.

That's sad. Poor guy. Yeah. So I think a lot of things with him, he's pretty open-minded. So he will come around to the idea, but I don't know. I planted that seed like seven years ago. And it seems like, I don't know, that it would be less of a shock by now. I don't know.

Well, did you bring it up seven years ago and then never bring it up ever again until the other day? No, I mean, I've told him, I told him I know, I don't know how long ago it was. It must have been a few years ago. I kind of have a fantasy about having two guys at the same time. So he, I guess he has been thinking about that one for a while. So he's totally ready for that is what he's telling me. Well, what do you mean? That's good. So was he shaking out of like horniness or shaking out of unhappiness? I thought it was out of unhappiness. Well, I think just, I don't know. I don't think he was shaking out of horniness for sure.

I don't know. I think the last conversation we were talking more about not the threesome, but more of just me going off on my own and finding someone else. And I think that's what the shaking was about. But the threesome with him and another guy, I think he, I mean, he said he's ready for. So now I'm just like, oh, I don't know. I don't know. I'm scared. That would be awkward. I don't know.

I think I would do better alone. So. Yeah, but he wouldn't. And that's not where you should start with a situation like this. Let me ask you this. Why do you, what do you imagine yourself? off alone. Like, I mean, are you into, because there's a lot of different, like, terminology, like,

terminologies. Like, I'm so bad at grammar. I'm like, there's a lot of terminology. I'm looking to cut that shit out. Wait, but, like, there's a lot of different words that people use now. I mean, like, you know, you could be, like, looking for, like, an open relationship where you just, like, fuck other guys. Or, like, are you looking also, like, do you feel like, you know, your wandering eye is also,

like you could be polyamorous where you'd be looking to have. like full-fledged feelings for somebody else as well? No. So I definitely don't want another boyfriend or anything that makes things complicated. No. And I think it's mostly right now, he, I don't know, it's like too much of a good thing. So I feel kind of suffocated. Like we are literally never apart.

There was maybe a three-day span in the past seven years that I haven't been. with him or with our kid. So I don't know. I brought up this conversation the last time because I've just been feeling like I don't get out enough. And I think I basically brought it up as, I'd really like to have a person or people

that I can just go out and go have drinks with and have fun for the night and then come back home and that's over, you know, that's over with. I'm not looking for a boyfriend. Like a friend? Like a friend? Yeah, basically like a friend with benefits, I guess.

Well, why do you have to fuck that person? It just sounds like you need to get out of that house. Like, why can't you just go out with some girlfriends? Well, yeah, that would be ideal. But it's really hard, I feel like, to find women that are interested enough to, I don't know, stick around. I think it's just I'm finding most people. on the internet and I'm not sure how to, I don't know.

Wait, are you talking about, are you talking about like sex, like women for sex or just women for friendships? No, no, friendships like I'm on, it's an app called Bumble BFF. Yeah, yeah. Oh, okay, so bubble for friends? Yeah, for friends. And it's pretty much only women, but it seems like it's kind of hard to keep interest and, you know. So I don't know. I think it would just be the lazy route for me to find a guy. What do you mean the lazy route to find a guy? Well, because for a friend, as a friend, and then you want to fuck this person.

But see, that's where you're getting on a slippery slope. I feel like these are two different things that you're looking for. I think you're looking to have a life maybe. Like you did, right? You had, how old's your kid? Five. Five. Okay.

Like, that's like, you're like super young. you know, whereas most people your age are still partying. They partied and call it. You know, they just like, you got married and had a kid, you know? So you're like looking to go out and like live your life like any other person does in their 20s, right? And, you know, you want friends.

You want to have maybe sex with different people. You know, you want to do all these things. But you're married and you have a kid and like you don't want to give that up. But like you don't want to blend those two. things together. I think you're looking for two different things. And maybe if you got the, I mean, I think eventually you'll wind up wanting to be with other people with your husband, right? And you guys have had some conversations and all that is really good. And we'll talk more about that. But I think, you know, if you get a life, do you mean? Like some friends, some outside something going on.

Yeah. That has nothing to do with sex. I think that might take a little bit of the end. And off of that thing too. Do you know what I mean? Because you're like I don't think that the sex is everything that you're looking for. And it's what it's not giving you all this like sort of anxiety about not being able to get the fuck out of your house. It's not just that you have a wandering eye. It's that you don't have your own like.

You don't find any mom friends like with from your kid. Not really. I mean I go to all the birthday parties and stuff like that. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I don't really, I mean, I don't know. We don't ever make an effort to hang out without our kids or anything like that. It is hard.

You know, you might have to like try to go do some. I mean, we're going to get to talk more about like the hooking up with other guy stuff, you know. But I do think you need a life outside of like your child and your husband, you know, that is just for you. you know, that has nothing to do with this like wandering, I think that's going on because I think that this is probably like something that's really bothering you too. You know what I mean? Like a Oh, definitely. Right? And like I said, I think if like you went out with some girlfriends and you were allowed to go and I'm sure your guy would let you go, you know, just like once or twice a week or even if it's once a week, right? Like wouldn't. Yeah. I mean, that sounds insane right now going out

once or twice a week would be crazy for me, but I would take even once a month or something. I don't know. Right. I mean, I just feel like at your age, you should at least have once a week. Yeah. And I think it's just built up so long. And then my husband's point of view, like I told him the other day, I was like, I wish you had interests other than just us so that I wouldn't feel guilty, you know, leaving the house. house because he would be the one staying home with our kid.

And he was just like, well, you've been the only interest the past seven years. So I don't really know. And I'm like, I don't know. It's hard to put so much pressure on each other is what I feel like. Well, he doesn't seem like he has a problem with any of this, right? Like, I mean, he seems like he's pretty okay with the whole setup. Like, does he have any kind of desires to have more outside of this relationship? Right?

I mean, it's more you. No, I don't think he really has any desires. The other day when I brought up me doing something solo, he was basically asking, well, what if I went out and I was out of state and, you know, was that a football game or something and I saw someone cube and, you know, what would you think of that? And I was like, feel free as long as it doesn't affect anything with us. But I think he was just asking hypothetically.

he's made it pretty clear that he doesn't really have any other interest. Right. Like maybe he was just saying that just to sort of see if you'd get jealous or like just to make sure that you'd be cool to like that. You weren't expecting something of him that you couldn't bring to the table. Exactly. So I guess my fantasy world would be I find someone who's kind of in the same situation as me has limited time away. basically, and then we hang out, do fun stuff, get out the house, you know, and then someone who understands that, you know, tomorrow I'm not going to be texting you all day.

You know, we're just going to go back to our separate lives. Right. But now we're talking about a guy, right? Right. Okay, so let's get deep into this because people are going to be pissed off that I've spent 29 minutes about you making friends. but I think that that was important for you. Okay.

Yeah. But let's get to this. So, okay, does your husband, so you've been married for all this time, you have this wandering eye, right? You and you haven't been with anybody else, right? No, I haven't been with anybody. But you have posted ads online. Yes.

And I think it's mostly because the conversations with my husband are usually pretty stressful to have. So I'm like, is it even worth it? Are there even people out there that would be interested? So I kind of, you know, see what's out there. And then I'm like, okay, yeah. But what do you mean the conversations with your husband are so stressful? The ones where you tell him you want to fuck other people and he's shaking? Well, those, yeah, but also just, you know. Just life quite like, you mean you're just your regular stressful like the stress of being married and coupled and that kind of thing you mean yeah like if i'm just trying to say okay i'm really not happy with the you know in frequency that we get out the house it seems like i don't know kind of that i'm

not appreciating like he he is a home body by nature so he does make efforts to bring me out And so when I, like, say, okay, well, I'm glad we did that, but, you know, once a month for me is not enough. So I don't know, like our last conversation, I remember he said, you know, most nights he wants me to be home. So I don't know. It's just kind of stressful, you know, negotiating, okay, well, can I have one night per month, two nights? Well, where would you go on those nights? I don't know, just go out, have some drinks or go out and try any restaurant or karaoke night.

Do you mean with him? No, not with him because we don't really have any babysitters besides like his mom. So it's a really limited resource, which is pretty much what brings this whole problem up, is that we only have like one or two date nights for just us per month. So we never want to waste those. And then for me, it's not enough. So that's why I'm like, I really have to get out by myself. Right.

But he said, I mean, you have said that he is okay with you going out by yourself, right? But you feel guilty about it? Yeah, I think, one, I feel guilty about it. But also, I think, you know, I'm not sure that he's 100% okay. with it. I think he really wants to be okay with it. So I think he really is going to try, but it's just like his natural reaction is it's hard for him, you know. But when you say you're, listen, you don't have a guy yet to go out with or do you mean like when you're, when you're going to go out alone, does that mean you're going to go looking for dudes?

No. I'm confused. Hopefully by the point that I'm going out, I already know who I'd be going out with and all that. So going out without him means going out with a guy to fool around with him solo. Possibly. I mean, like we said, it would be better if it's a girl. No, no, let me tell you something. You know, when you start combining, because you're not going to, this is what's going to happen, okay? You're not going to find a girlfriend, okay? So you're going to combine that need to have a life and that need to like screw another guy. You're going to combine the two and you're going to wind up in an affair and you're going to wind up liking, you know what I mean?

You're going to wind up with like starting like a separate thing on the side. Do you understand? Like you can't combine the two or there's a problem. I know. And I think I've already kind of combined that in my mind. Yeah. And that's what makes it so hard. Right.

But you need to realize that it's two separate things. I know. Or are you going to fuck. up your marriage. And maybe 61 years is too much. Like maybe I shouldn't have done the marriage math, but that's, that's the fact. But like, I mean, you know, are you happy in your marriage? Yeah. Yeah. I think he's, uh, he tries really hard to be open minded. And he's a really great husband, a really great dad. So I definitely like, if I have to choose between my need to get out and the stability of our marriage and our home life,

then definitely the home life is going to come first. And I'll just sit at home. No, no, you can't sit at home, but you have to remember that you have two, you have a couple different needs going on. You have to not lump them together. And I really think that if you found a friend and found some stuff to do outside of your marriage

and your role as, a mom, right? That was just for you that would bring you pleasure. You know, you wouldn't have to combine the two. I do think that wandering eye thing and you wanting to have a threesome and all that is just a part of like you also being somebody that would be probably open and interested in an open relationship within your marriage, right? I think that you definitely have that. That's a definite thing. and it's great that you've had the conversations you've had with your husband's stuff. But like I think you're on a slippery slope if you don't sort of put these things in their proper places. Because like I said, you're combining everything into this one thing.

And so you're putting all your own. It's like you have this whole inside of you that's empty and you're going to fill it up with a guy because you think you want sex with someone else, which you probably do. But then if the guy starts fulfilling. your other needs, do you understand? It's going to be a problem. And you're going to hang your hat on that situation too much because it's probably going to make you feel really good, right?

But it's like it's, it could be, it could really take you to a place that could really do harm to the relationship that you have now. Yeah. And that's what I'm scared of. I mean, I will say that I am very guarded and, I don't know, I definitely don't open up easily and I don't know.

I definitely keep a distance and I think my husband still even thinks that I'm guarded even with him. So I don't know. Yeah, that how are you going to make friends? I wonder why you have no friends. Yeah, it definitely has something to do with that. But maybe there's things you could do solo that could get you sort of involved or like interested in something else outside. Like what you need is like something that's yours outside of you being a mom and outside of your relationship with your husband, you know? So it can also be like something like a hobby or something that you like to do that is just all your own.

You know what I mean? Yeah. I don't know what that is. But, you know, if you're a guarded person, maybe it's not a friend. Maybe it's something that you start up for yourself, you know? I don't know. Yeah. But.

Yeah. And why wouldn't you, like if you're, what's, and what's weird to me is that you said your guy is sort of okay and ready for the threesome with another guy. Mm-hmm. But you're like more interested in doing a solo thing because you'll think you'll be uncomfortable. Like this is where you're maybe that weirdo guarded thing. Like why? Yeah. You have to get, I don't care that you're uncomfortable.

Like you have to. like allow, like you need a change, right? Like you need changes. Yeah. Right? You're obviously not happy or not fulfilled. And it's not your husband. It's not your child.

You know, it's like, and a lot of people wind up in that rut. You know what I mean? Because like when you have a family, you're married, you know, it could be like Groundhog Day, right? And you're taking care of everybody else but yourself, you know? So you're just like trapped in that. So it's a very common place for you to be.

But you, and it's very common to not want to as much as you're unhaping. happy with that place to not want to be open to like these new things that pop up and present themselves because they might feel uncomfortable. I don't know, but like you have to get past being uncomfortable and do it with your husband because that's the thing that that's the first step and your guys. It should not be the first time you guys play outside that you play alone. You really shouldn't. You should do it together. I think I just, I don't know. I feel like I would be self-conscious or something.

Too bad. You have to learn to get past that. Yeah. Well, I think also one issue for me is that I think my husband is a lot more, I don't know, I think he would get more emotionally involved with the whole situation. Like, so a few weeks ago, I posted on the internet for the same thing we've been talking about. about these he knows about these postings okay cool and um i found a guy that was interested and everything and you know he was interested in the threesome and he um sent some pictures

you know sent some pictures back and all that and then suddenly he he stopped responding to messages as quickly so i was like oh he's you know i'm used to the internet thing so i'm like oh he's probably going to ghost and whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe he was just a pick collector or something. Who cares? And then when I told that to my husband, because my husband was also talking to him, yeah.

He was like, why? You know, like, do I need to call? Do I need to text him or something? I'm like, no. You know, I think he would be, I'm just worried that he'll, you know, take things more seriously or, you know, I think he's more kind of tenderhearted where he would take things personally or something like that. What?

Like after you fuck this guy that you'd never hear from him again that your husband will start crying? Well, the hell get over it. I think you have to like stop. Like I think you worry about things that you don't need to be. Like I think that you get and I think that you use that as an excuse to not like sort of move forward. Like let me ask you this. Like if you were really honest with yourself like really and no one's I don't think are

you going to let your husband listening to this episode? No, he's not really interested in podcasts. Okay. So does he know that you're talking to me or anything? No, he does not know. Okay, so tell me, okay, the truth. Like, do you want to do it alone, like, for selfish reasons? Um, what do you, what do you mean by that?

Like, I mean, do you want to be with a guy alone so it's like you're not in your, like, so it's really like you're just something for you. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, I think being independent and, you know, I don't know. I think not, yeah, I guess it is like a selfish need or want, I should say, because it makes things more complicated to have to like constantly consider another person's feelings about stuff. And I don't know.

I said the girl in a relationship with the child. for seven years. Like, you know, it's like your whole, that's your whole life has been about that. Exactly. Right. And you don't want it to be a part of this. But that's like,

it's almost like you can't, in a situation like this, I feel like it's so much more. You have to take into consider, like, you know, listen, where you're going to buy milk and what time you're going to come home and what kind of dinner you're going to cook.

It's like, that's where you could fuck around with like thinking about his feelings. But like when it comes to, fucking another guy. This is when you should be thinking about his feet. Like this is where it's the most important time to sort of do things together because this is a very serious thing that you're doing. And if you open up your relationship and it could cause a real problem if you don't do it the right way. Like I always say I love a good swingers gone wrong story.

Like this is nothing fucking funnier, you know. but it really damages relationships and a lot of people don't survive opening up their relationship because of a lot of reasons and like you know I think you have I mean there's like so many men that are probably listening to this like that are confused because you have a guy who is open to it right you're posting these ads but I feel like you're cock blocking it because I feel like for some reason you don't want to do it with him. You want to do it alone. But I think you have to do it with like you should at least start off doing it with him.

Is he okay with you doing it alone with a guy? Um, I think he is still thinking about it. I don't know. He says that it just takes him a while to, you know, get used to those kind of ideas. But, you know, what you're saying is good advice. I think I will take it and, you know, be more open to it being with him. Do it listen to me. I promise you.

You need something new in your life. You need a fucking change. You need some excitement. You need a thrill. And I think a threesome with your husband watching and the guy could be the thing. I really you need to what do you mean maybe like most fucking definitely you have to do it though like I feel like you use all these excuses to not really like like yeah it's uncomfortable it's all these things but like being uncomfortable is just a feeling it shouldn't stop you from from doing

what you're going to do because once you get past the uncomfortableness you probably will have like the hottest night of your life and then what it's going to happen is it's going to bring a hotness to your relationship that you probably haven't experienced before for a very long time. That's what everybody tells me in these couples situations that when they open it up, it's like it becomes like, you know, the ones that have done it right and were ready and really talked about it and experienced it, that they had the best fucking sex after it. And they do all the time. And it's like really help their relationship tenfold. And I just think that you can, you should not do it. you know, solo and the way that you want.

I think you have to do it with your husband. Listen, you might not, five years from now, you might wind up doing stuff like that, but I don't think that's where you should start, especially somebody like you that, like, is very needy and very, like, sort of unhappy with the status quo. And like I said, not to say that you're, that doesn't mean that your relationship is wrong or that you're,

like, you know, I think a lot of people wind up in that place, you know. So you want to add something to it, but that doesn't mean that you have to lose your relationship or leave it, you know? The fact that your husband is willing to have a threesome with somebody else with him there, like, is pretty fucking great. Yeah. And I can't believe you haven't done it. The girl who's been with over 30 guys before that wants it. I mean, why haven't you with your husband? I don't know.

I don't know. It's going to be a leap. I think because when I was solo and younger, I was able to just, you know, do whatever I wanted. And now, I don't know, I, so if you knew me personally, you'd be shocked at what I'm saying, because I don't know, people, I'm the type of person that people literally apologize to me when they curse in front of me, like really good girl type. So I don't know. It's hard for me to, I think even in front of my husband, kind of break that role. Yeah, but your husband knows you. Right?

Yeah. And doesn't he know who you are? You've talked to him about having a threesome. I mean, does he think you or does he apologize for cursing in front of you? Like, I mean, he knows. I don't care. Like, you know, first of all, you could be a good girl in that person and this person that wants to do these things at the same time, right?

Those are two things about you that exist in the same person. And your husband knows that. And it seems like he's accepting both of those parts. So what do you feel like you can't, like, sort of be so sexual in front of him with another guy? Or you feel like that might freak him out? Is it a freak? Would it freak you out?

Like, I don't understand because it's like. No. I think, like, I'm different in that, like, I know a lot of people say that women are always the ones I get attached and you know stuff like that and I'm not that way about sex especially obviously um and I think he is more that way so yeah but he's not going to be fucking anyone you're gonna he's not going to be fucking anyone I know I know but it's just um I don't know I think it's going to be hard for me to feel like I can fully, you know, let my freak flag fly. Right.

No. Right. Right. And maybe not the first time, but maybe it's only for the first 10 minutes that you won't be able to. But then maybe you're going to see your husband's like fucking dickhard and he's like really into it. How do you know? Do you know what I mean? Yeah.

And then you'd be really like you, you're like thinking about all these things. things and you're assuming all this stuff and what you have to do is just allow the situation to happen and see what it is because I can't tell you how many times in my life I felt like I knew how a situation was going to go or I imagined it a certain way and then maybe I didn't you know but you learn in life that if you just wind up going into that situation seeing like half the time you're wrong yeah you don't know you don't know you could go into that situation and like some people you might think oh it's to take me five times with five different guys before I could feel comfortable like I said it might take five minutes because your husband might be so fucking into it and then

you're into it and you just get you'll get taken into the situation you know yeah and maybe not and maybe it'll be super uncomfortable you just don't know the only way you will know is if you try it you know yeah like seriously that's where you have to that's where you have to go you're posting all these ads you're talking to all these guys. You know what I mean? Like, why don't you just do it? I mean, like, why don't you do it by next week and then call me back? Like, why is this not happened?

Yeah, I don't know. I think it's a block for you. I think it's your issue. You keep blaming your fucking guy. He seems like he would do it for you and he would, you know, I just think it's more you. I think you're overthinking it. I think you're assuming a lot.

Yeah, definitely. Right? I mean, you said he, it's not like that you going solo. You think that he wouldn't maybe be okay with that, but he's on board for the guy and with him, right? Right.

Yeah, well, how do you know that that's not going to be a fucking turn on for him? I don't know. Just the, I feel like I'm dragging him to it. Well, what does he say when you've brought it up? Like, you know, like what has he said?

Um, I don't know. The last time I brought up the whole threesome thing, it was so long ago that I don't remember his initial reaction. No, you just said you just had a conversation with about it since you emailed me. Well, we, we had a conversation about the solo thing recently, but he brought up the, threesome thing that I had brought up, you know, a few years ago. So right. I think he's finally come around to that and well, because he was like he was like, because now he's like, fuck like I'd rather do the threesome than have him go alone. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Exactly. And that's why I think I'm like kind of I don't, I would hate for him to like, this is one of my

fears is that we're like getting into the threesome thing and then he would like freak out. That's what I'm scared of. Right, but you have to try. I mean, listen, you should probably have like a couple more conversations with him. You should probably say, listen, let's try. I don't want to do the thing solo. And I think we should try it first. I feel more comfortable with you being there with me. Do you know what I mean? Like, just make it feel better about it and be like, let's, let's just do this. And let's just start with that, you know, but I want to make sure you're going to be okay with it. Like, should we have any rules or regular? Like, you should definitely, you know, figure out what he He's uncomfortable with, like, you should definitely take him into consideration and how he feels and really talk it through.

Pick the guy and go fucking do it. And then if he freaks out, but have a, like, have a deal. Like, if you're freaking out, let me know and we'll stop. Like, I mean, I think that like these kinds of situations, you know, partners have to be really, you know, able to listen to the other person and take into consideration how they're feeling. And if somebody's acting selfish and doesn't fucking care, that's, that's like not a right situation, you know? Right. Right. Yeah.

So if you want your cake and eat it too, right? You want to fuck other guys, but still be with your husband. You can do that. But you have to do, you should be doing it together because it's not like you're polyamorous and you're wanting, you know, another boyfriend. But like if you start off doing it on the side, no. Bad news. Not good. Yeah, well, that's what I think my, what I thought was an ideal situation was like basically

kind of a don't ask, don't tell kind of situation. And then I come back and I'm like, my batteries are recharged and whatever. But now that you, what you've said is kind of, you know, it's definitely made me rethink that. And I don't know. I think we can eventually, you know, do the threesome thing. But like even so I've been asking him to go basically to the swingers club just to see what it's like and, you know, see how we'd interact in that situation. And our next basically available time that we're going to try to do that is in like a month or two. That's awesome.

This is what your new life is going to. be. These are your friends. That's where you're going to meet your friends. That's where you're going to have all this stuff and your husband's going to be right there with you. Seriously. Like seriously, you, everything is moving along just fine. Just get out those fantasies of this separate life that you're having that's just going to lead to fucking trouble. Do you understand? Like seriously. You have, like, you guys are going to go to a swingers club. Okay, maybe try to make that happen sooner than later. But But get the threesome going. And like, listen, the threesome doesn't have to start off with you guys, like,

meeting at a hotel room and fucking another guy or him coming there. Because, listen, you could start having your kids only five, right? Like, you could do these things at your house and you don't even need a babysitter. You know, it's like, it's like you can bring people home to your house eventually later. But like, what could happen with the first meeting is you're just going to meet the guy for like a drink or for coffee or like you don't know. You know, like mean some people have that, they set it up. Like everyone's different, right?

I've heard a lot of people do it different ways, but a lot of couples like to meet the person first to make sure that there's chemistry there. You know what I mean? Make sure that they're on the same page. And then, you know, maybe the next time they meet up, they have some cocktails and they get it on with the person, you know. But maybe like you start looking for that guy and you do, you meet him first. You know, so it's not like it's going to be right away. You know, maybe you could ease into it and see how you feel.

But you have to start. doing something with your husband. I mean, he's totally open. He's going to a swingers club with you. He lets he post things up. And just because he gets involved and says, like, why didn't he email? Should I email him back?

It sounds like he's fucking into it. Yeah, he's definitely warm it up to it. He is, right? Yeah. Like, seriously, like, I mean, you can't, I don't think, I don't advise you doing it alone. Because like I said, I think that if, you do it alone.

Don't ask, don't tell. I don't, I just worry that you would get, you could, there could be a chance that you would get hooked on that, that other guy, some, you know, there. Yeah. And, you know, it could take you out of your relationship because that person would be filling a lot of holes for you. You know what I'm saying? Right.

And if you want to keep, you know, because you got this. friend thing, this other thing going, you know, you just need this life. Like, and if you start to set it up with somebody else solo, then you start to think that this other person is making you happy and bring it. Whereas if you're doing something and your husband is right next to you, you know, and it's fulfilling you, then it's still a part of like your real life. You know what I mean? You don't want to have like this other life on the side.

Ask, don't tell shit. It's not, I don't think it's going to work in your relationship. really and maybe people are listening to this and like you're so fucking wrong kathy i don't know i always say i give unprofessional advice but this is just what i feel from like what you're saying i think it's dangerous okay i won't do it i won't do it no not if you like your husband you know and not if you you got a good guy right like i mean they're not easy to find you know and it's the father of your child and he's a good dad you know and i don't and you're not unhappy in your marriage is the sex with your husband good yeah right so i mean like there's nothing wrong

you just you just need a little bit more you need to change you've been like you know you need some excitement i get that exactly i want that for you but you are you are like so close to having it you're having conversations about a threesome you could be having double penetration two weeks from now okay you're in like a swingers club one month from now i know because you're young one month seems like a long time from now, but I'm telling you, it's like one second away. Okay. It's just like just fucking watch your wandering eye. Stop looking around. Really decide to do the threesome with your husband, but have some more conversations with him so you could really feel out. Stop with the guilt and the worrying about what he's going to, how he's going to feel and whatever and just focus on like

what your rules are going to be, what your parameters are, you know what I mean? Like what he could say if he's not feeling comfortable, let him know, like, your sort of fears that he's not going to be, what he could say to you, how you guys can move out. Like, whether you're going to meet the guy first, like, how it's going to go down, start getting into the details. I think that will be really exciting. You can't get past the worrying about what he's going to fucking think. So that's why you're not being, like, fulfilled.

Like, I think if you really start getting into, get past, like, should we? like start having conversations that like take place because you are right and those conversations will be like so should we meet the guy first like what are you going to do do you think it's going to turn you on like have you ever asked him if he thinks it'll turn him on or turn him off like have you ever asked him those questions hmm I don't think I've asked him like will it turn him on and he's definitely not the cuckold type like he's never been into that kind of stuff so but you don't know I can't tell you how many people on my podcast have said, like, they would never have realized that it would be a turn on for them until it happened. So you don't know. Yeah. You don't know. He might not want, like, he might not know. Do you know what I mean?

Like, I'm sure, like, I don't think he knows. He won't know until that's why you have to do it. And, but you have to do it together and you have to like both, you know, be thinking, like, you have to be thinking about him as much as yourself. And I know that you are, you're overthinking his sort of standpoint, but you have to let him know that, you know, if he wants to pull the plug at any time, like, you're cool with that. You know what I mean? Yeah. But you do it together. And I think maybe it feels really sort of safe.

You might, you know, really get into it. I have a few. I hear more guys that are into it that aren't. I mean, I know that there's a lot of guys that are like, I'm not into it because they never experienced it. But it's like I have yet to have someone on that said I saw. and it was horrifying to me. I don't know. A lot of guys fucking like it.

So you're a guy might like it too. Hopefully. Yeah. There's a chance you don't know, but I want to know. Can I give you like homework? Like you have to do it in the next three weeks. I mean like you said like you put these ads out and you get inundated, right? There's like every guy is looking for you guys as a couple, right?

Like this, it's like you're like the unicorn right now. You're a girl that wants to fuck another guy in a couple. So there's a lot of guys out. there, right? So there's, it's not a problem for you to find somebody. Yeah. Right. So can you do it within the next, like, can you do it like ASAP? I think we can. Yeah. So why don't you just do it? I don't know. It's because I'm so scared. But I know you're for what are you afraid of again? I just his reaction, my reaction. I think it's also like scared that it won't be as good as you know, the fantasy is always going to be better than reality.

Yeah, you don't, but I know you should, listen, I give you credit. Like the day, like, you know, to actually have this as a fantasy and everything and then to go do it in reality is like takes balls, right? And so, yeah, I think, but go have some balls. That's what you need in your life. You need to, like, jump off a cliff. Do you know what I mean? Yes, I do.

You just, you just do. Your life is too sort of safe and every day now. And you got everything under control. you got a good marriage, you got a great kid. Like you got a lot, a lot of good things, you know. But you need something new now. Some fucking fun, you know. Exactly.

I'm going to take your advice. I'm going to bring it up with my husband again within the next few days. And I'm going to really try to schedule it within the next few weeks. You're going to a swingers club regardless, right? A month, a month and a half from now. Yeah, I mean, we've talked about it a lot. So put that on the table. Like I said, you need one of those, you need those things to happen.

It's going to be, forget about the mom friends. This is what you need. This whole new lifestyle for you and your husband will be good because it's something that you, listen, it's not something you have a kid. You have a lot. You have a lot. Like, you know, you're not going to these places and having this kind of sex every minute of the day, you know?

It's going to be like once a month or once. Like, you know, and that's about the free time you guys have available. right but like that kind of stuff that's how much it typically goes down so it'll be perfect yeah i'll give it a try all right give it a try and let me know and then you're coming back on and you're telling me the story okay okay all right sounds good luck thanks jane thanks really advice no problem bye all right bye okay i just want to tell you before you go that my book it's called strictly anonymous confession secret sex lives of total strangers is now a available not only in paperback and e-book, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out

until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gangbang girl story. Like I said, 17 stories and they're all told in the third person and they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person and I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like Penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. 17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, one or two and then skip around. You could

read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format, and finally, the audio book is available coming out August 25th, but you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint, okay? There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me. Okay, I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other and that's what you get to do there. You could post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total strictly anonymous community and you will love it. I will be giving

anyone who buys my book access to my Discord. It's private. Like I said, all you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook or the paperback. Send it to me at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. That's Strictly Anonymous Podcasts at Gmail.com. And I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in. This is the Strictly Anonymous Podcast.