Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 316 - Sex Therapist Lacey Broussard Teaches Women How to Have Better Sex

Episode Date: December 30, 2019

Sex therapist Lacey Broussard calls in to talk all about how women can increase their sex drive, enjoy sex more and have better orgasms. Plus she discusses how she went from being sexually repressed to sexually liberated. How and why was she repressed and how did she liberate herself? How and why did she become a sex therapist? How and why can women remove their blocks and have better sex? Tune in to find out plus hear all about what she enjoys sexually now that she is totally open, how she learned to squirt, tantric sex and a whole lot more. **To see anonymous pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Send me an email at that same email I just gave out like 10,000 times. Strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. Today I'm on Lacey Brassard. Brossard, I think is her name. I forget. She emailed me. She has a podcast herself.

I think she's a sex therapist, maybe like a sex coach, I would say she is. For women. And she emailed me to be on the show. I think she's looking to get clients, you know, and advertise herself, which I think is smart. She's all about helping women, you know, sort of unleash their sexual potential, if that makes grammatical sense. It's grammatical, even a fucking word. I don't know.

But she was a woman that was raised in a very strict religious background and had all that kind of stuff put on her when she was younger, but she really came out of it and came into her own sexually, especially, and it became something that she wants to help other people do as well. We talk about her history of how her religion affected her and her sexuality and how she sort of came into her own on that. and all the thing that she's into and the things that she does

and how she got to be so multi-orgasmic and all that kind of good stuff. She gives information of how you could do it too. She, like I said, has, I think she came on my show right to get clients. I tried to ask her how much she charges, but she wouldn't tell me. You know, if you want to,

she gives all her information out on how to find her so to listen to the podcast for that. And if you want coaching for her, she offers that. But for all her information, you got to listen to the show. So anyway, I'm going to be right back on with Lacey. I got an email from you or maybe someone who works with you looking to come on the show and you have your own podcast, right?

And you're also, I guess, like a sex therapist, sex coach. What do you call yourself formula? Like, what's the actual real title? Yeah, I'm a holistic sex coach for women that lack desire and want to feel sexy again. That's my official title. Right. And the holistic part of it. means, like for people that don't really know, it's like you're not like, because maybe like

another sex therapist would talk about like medication or hormones or whatever. I mean, a holistic aspect is you're, this is done in a natural way, right? Is that, is that correct or am I totally wrong? No, that's totally correct. Yeah, I use modern psychology, psychotherapy and modern coaching modalities and also the Taoist and tantric practices to help my clients. Right. obviously therapists can't bring in

Taoism and tantra. So that's all that's different. Yeah. So you have a little bit maybe some people just have the tantra. Some people just have the other, the therapy modalities, right? But you have like both, which I think it makes you actually probably more unique

than most people, right? Because you have both sides of things. Exactly. Yep. And now on your website, because I looked at your bio, right? It's like pretty simple and quick, which I prefer not to get,

not to have a lot of information about the person I'm speaking to, because I just like to ask a lot of questions, right? And then I'm just a curious person. Because for you, what you said, and what we're going to talk about, what topic that I like is about, you know, moms. Because I think I have a lot of guy listeners that call in and they're, like, cheating on their wives.

Or people who, besides listeners, people who call in, who have, are cheating or looking for other things online because maybe their wife, or not maybe, because their wife has lost interest in sex, right? And as a woman, I'm 50, right? And I'm a mom, and I'm a new mom because I had a baby later in life. You know, and those kind of, like, whether it's perimenopause or having a child, you know, it really does a fucking number to your sex drive, right?

And what you talk about a lot is that you help women get that back without doing hormones and stuff because I have to tell you, I mean, I don't really talk about myself a lot, but I did go on hormones, biodendical hormones for, you know, for perimenopause because of my age. And it didn't do anything for my sex drive. And it turned out when I was like retested after two years of being out, like my testosterone, because I was taking testosterone. It was like too high, you know, so I was being overdosed. Yet you would think I would be extra horny, but I wasn't. I was like, I felt nothing.

Like it was like bad. And ever since I got off of them, I got off of everything recently. to me, I feel better and actually more horny. So it doesn't, there's no rhyme or reason to that kind of stuff. But, you know, you don't, you, you try to help women reattach to their sexuality and feel more comfortable and have a increase in their sex drive, right? That's what you do. And especially for moms, right? Because I think there's nothing more unsexy than being a mom.

I don't know. I think it's very easy to lose your, your sexuality in that role. And I think it's difficult to get it back. I mean, maybe some people hold on to it, right? You know, mine went out the window because I was just like all mom all the time. You know, for at least the first three years, I felt like once he turned three, I was getting back into like myself and I was feeling very different. But I think for the first two years, you know, you're just so in this like world, right, that it's very easy to forget about that part of who you are, right? And to feel not sexy.

Because I don't think being a mom is sexy at all. But I mean, you're here to say that it is, right? Yeah, for sure. Well, I'm here to say that you can be both. But it doesn't have to be taboo. But it's actually a disservice to the world to cut yourself off from your sexuality just because you're a mom because that's like the source of women's energy. And then we all wonder why we're so tired and overwhelmed and depleted all the time because we're not connected to our pleasure. Right.

And it's not good to disconnect from that in a relationship, too, because that intimacy, if you're not having that with your part, partner, right? I mean, that plays a number on your relationship as well. Well, yeah, because most women's desire is ignited by their brain. Like, that's what they need to get turned on is like an intimate connection before there's ever any physical touching involved. Most women are wired that way. Not all of them, but most of them. So if you're not having that intimacy and connection with your partner, like outside of physical sex, then yeah, of course you're going to, you're not going to feel sexual.

Yeah, exactly. But also for you, like you said on your, like you had a child, you were in your early 20s, right? And then you said you started to take, I mean, what was your story? What's your story that, you know, because I'm assuming that you teach women also by experience, right? Not just you went to classes like you had this awakening in you. It's like on your bio. It's like, you know, one day, it just, you just realized, you know, all these desires are in yourself. And, like, how did that come about?

Yeah. Well, I'll try to keep that story short. No, I mean, why, I think that's an interesting story. All right. All right. Well, I was born and raised right outside of New Orleans, Louisiana, in a very conservative religious environment. And I had an amazing childhood.

Everything was so stable. this is like the ideal childhood. And when I was a teenager, my mom shamed me for having my first boyfriend that I never did anything with and I never had sex with them or whatever. But she tried to make me feel terrible about it and all the things that could happen if I did have sex with them. And it was just, you know, so much guilt and shame, so much guilt and shame for being a sensual sexual sexual teenager. and when I got pregnant and had my first baby at 23. Were you married or was this out of wedlock, quote unquote? No, yeah, and I actually got married because of the guilt, right?

Like I thought I had to marry him to make it go away. Oh, so you did get pregnant out of wedlock, right? No. Oh, okay, you married him? Yeah, I met him when I was 18 because I left. New Orleans area and went to Denver, Colorado, and I just had to get away because all growing up was

like young teenagehood. I knew that what my parents had taught me what they believed in, I did not. It was not me and I needed to find myself, right? So I went off to Denver and I met him like two weeks after I got there. And we had dated. We got married when I was 20.

And, you know, at 22, I got pregnant. Let me ask you this real quick before. we jump into like what happens at 22. Before you met him and stuff, like all that guilt and shape that your parents, shame that your parents put on you, did you wind up having sex before you were married or did you were you still a virgin? Or did you do ship behind their back and not listen to them? Like what was your history before you got married?

I think I did. I met him in June and I didn't have sex with him until September. But we were exclusive. So it still took me even a while to get to the point. where I could have sex. And you had it before him is what I'm saying, right? Before that. So you're 18 and that's when you meet him, right?

Yeah. And I had never had sex before meeting him. Right. Okay. So you did have sex before marriage, though, a little bit with him, but you waited a while. Right. Okay, cool. So now you're 22 and you get pregnant?

Yeah. And I had gone to college to be an OBGYN, actually. I wanted to get a med school to deliver babies. And I was right around the time when the housing market crashed in 2007, 8. And let's see. Yeah, so I had never actually got into med school. And then I'm left thinking like, well, crap. what do I do now?

Yeah. So I ended up getting pregnant and then I started a master's degree while I was pregnant and environmental science, whatever. So the doctor thing never worked out. But I had already been through so many rotations with doctors before I'd seen a bunch of of C-sections. And I just knew when I fell on and I was like, wow, that sucks. If I ever have a kid, I don't want it to be like that.

So I did a bunch of childbirth ed classes. and I just decided I was going to have mine at home and I didn't even have a midwife. And honestly, I would never recommend it. But the midwife were doing it at home by yourself. Doing it at home by yourself. Oh, right. I can imagine. Right.

Well, there was something about that experience that needed to happen for me, exactly the way that it did. And the thing about me doing it at home by myself is that I literally, never feared it. You weren't afraid at all. Do you think it was because you were like in all those classes, watching all those babies being born and you had some med school, right? Like you had some schooling behind you, right?

Mm-hmm. Yeah. And, you know, it's like I knew what to look out for. Sure. Yeah, I had the knowledge of what to do if things go on. But it was still just like I never, I just knew that wasn't going to happen to me. I knew it. I just knew that this is how my baby had to be born. And when he came, he came extremely fast.

I had what's called a precipitous birth. So the thing I had planned it that way because I would have never made it to the hospital anyway. Oh, he would have come out in the car or something. Yeah, I had a, like I started labor. From the moment I realized I was in labor and had him, it was only two and a half hours. Oh, wow. And it was only like hard labor for about half an hour. hour. So by the time that I was like, okay, this is probably the time that someone would go to the

hospital. It was way too late. Right. Anyway, it was an insane experience for me. And after I, like, after I had them pretty much everything that I had been taught about my body, about my sexuality, about pleasure was just gone out the window. That's interesting that like a birth of a child could do that for you, right? Yeah, well, when you're in, like, when you're, you know, it's 4 o'clock in the morning, right? Everything's super dark outside. And like when you're in that natural environment and your body just, you just, you have to let your body do what it knows how to do.

And it was like this very sensual embodied experience for me. And no one was shaming me for it. No one was telling me what to do or what not to do. It was just me having to follow my body's cues. for the first time. And it was freaking magical. And it just made me realize that literally everything my parents taught me, everything religion taught me, everything society taught me about my body was a crock of

fucking bullshit. So, yeah. So that's kind of what started my awakening journey, especially speaking, and like into the work that I do. I ended up working in a birth center for seven years as a doua and a midwife of princess. Mm-hmm. That's interesting because you didn't want to do a lot.

Like, you didn't really want that help at home yourself, but yet, and then you went into that sort of field and you became that person for other people, right? I just don't think that most people would have the balls to do it. I don't buy themselves like you anyway. They do need somebody there with them, right? Exactly. Let me ask you this quick question because I heard once from somebody that you could have an orgasm and some women have orgasms when they give birth.

Yeah. Right? Did that happen to you? Or have you seen that happen? Well, I think the way that we define orgasm is very limiting to women's pleasure and their experience of peak pleasure. Right. And I think that because of how we define orgasm as a height, like a peak, right, like a fireworks kind of thing. That's based off of the male model of orgasm, but women's experiences of orgasm is not that.

and that is how birth can be an orgasmic experience. And women do feel that is an orgasmic experience, but it takes being left to their own devices and not being chained or called what to do, you know? Because like in the hospital, they tell you what to do, they tell you need to do this, do that. You know, there's tons of harsh lights, you know, tons of people around. Like, birth is actually a really essential experience.

The things that make a baby are the things that help get a baby out. Right. that sensuality, like being able to be really in your body and present, touching yourself, you know, self-pleasureing while you're waver. It's actually amazing. Oh, interesting. The pain. Self-pleasureing yourself while you're, and so did you do that practice with the women

that when you were their jula? A couple clients that did. Yeah, their husbands were super supportive and it was the birth center. So even though there were people there, we dimmed the lights, you know, we set the environment. We would leave them to their own devices as much as possible. And a lot of them really did get into that, especially something like hypno birthing or, you know, that really helps you to stay in your body during labor and birth. But, yeah, I would say it was, there's that fine line between pleasure and pain. And it absolutely was painful.

but it was absolutely ecstatic and pleasurable at the same time. Right. And that can be completely orgasmic. So, yeah, it was an absolute orgasmic experience for me. And I know that it is for a lot of other women, too. And then so then when did you get into learning about like the tantra and going to school for that and, you know, bringing that into your life? Yeah.

Well, that came from working in the birth center. I had been on an email list from my teacher, Lila Martin, and she ended up creating a J-Deg course. Have you heard of the J-Deg? Yeah, I think, you know, is that the thing that Guadrode, like me, kind of famous? Yeah. Right. What is the J-Degger? Does it actually work?

Yeah. Well, it is an fixed thing that you use internally in your vagina, and you do different squeezes and releases with it and different breath practices. and it helps the tone and strengthen the pelvic floor and the more ton and strong your pelvic floor, the stronger and longer orgasms that you can potentially have. Oh, interesting. Yeah, so it has that effect, but it also really connects you to your body.

Like women are just super disconnected from their bodies and their pelvic floors in general. You know, no one pays attention to it. So using a J-Dag as a practice will help you get, connected with that part of your body. And when I used it, it was, you know, the reason I wanted to learn the practice was because I had all that shame. And I felt really unexpressed and my sexuality with my second husband.

When we first got together, like we had amazing sex, but it just, like, I felt like I felt a little shut down. Like I know that there was more that I could express. I knew that there was something I wasn't tapping. into like my full sexual expression. And I knew it's because of the freaking religious shame. So when I started the practice, I did it for about three months, you know, like two or three times a week.

You know, the practices are short. They're only like 10 or 15 minutes. And within about three months, I just woke up one morning and that half-awoke, half-sleep state, you know, that dream state. And I just remember like all of this. shame like lifting out of my body. I could like see it and feel it as like this dark cloud. It was just gone. One day it was just freaking gone. And then right after that I became super multirogmic. I started having like full body energy orgasms like kundalini awakening experiences. Like I did not

know what was happening to my body. Yeah, I'm so jealous. Yeah. And so my teacher came out with an email saying that she was going to be starting a school to teach and train coaches specifically in sex love and relationships. So I was like, oh, yeah, wow. You know, my work at the birth center, I'd seen so many women come in and their postpartum appointments saying how much they struggled with sexuality. Like, you know, we'd give them the clearance to have sex and they're like, yeah, they would laugh at you in your face. You know, it was a joke. So when that opportunity came up, I just knew that that was what I was here to do. I am put on this planet to help women connect back to their sensual sexual selves after becoming moms. And I went to school.

What's great about you is you had, you know, it's from personal experience, right? I mean, you went through. you had, I mean, I think, you know, your upbringing helps you in what you do in a way, right? Because you were someone that was completely turned off, right? And disconnected and now you're completely connected. So you know from personal experience, which I think is always great if you're going to somebody for help. Yeah, and that's why I love what I do in the training that I did and why I chose it over going back to school to be a sex therapist. because they don't make sex therapists embody the work that they teach.

You know, part of my training was that I had to do all of this deconditioning on myself. I had to do everything that I'm teaching my clients to do. It's not like, oh, let me just give you this thing to do. Right, you didn't just read about it. It's like. Right, right. No, I think that's what I think is like super helpful, right? You have that story of your awakening, right?

So you could really guide people and talk from your own personal experience, which I always think is helpful. For me, because I quit drinking, and whenever I get somebody on who's like an alcoholic or maybe, you know, I get so excited because I could really talk from my own experience, right? Because I went through that. And I think that that's always really helpful.

But you just mentioned, like, a second ago, like your second husband, right? Are you with your second husband now? Like, when did you divorce that guy in your 20s? Because you had just got, had a baby with him, right? And did you start doing the whole J-Dade practice with him? or did you just, it wasn't until you, like, wore out of that relationship and you were into another one? Yeah.

So I ended up getting divorced from him and I think my youngest was three. Uh-huh. And then I actually moved out of the house and found out I was pregnant with my second child three weeks after I moved out. Oh, wow. So we were getting divorced. And then it was like, oh, fuck, mom. that. And then I was like, you know, as much as I'm for women, women's rights, whatever, I couldn't do an abortion. I just couldn't go through with it. So I was like, nope. And I had him

and my second child. And it was just like, okay, well, let's just see if we can make it work. You know, like I need the support financially. And after about six months, when my youngest was six months old. He served made divorce papers. So it didn't work out. It didn't work out anyway. I was never in love with him. I married him because I thought it had to. Because that thought that would be. You know. Yeah. I mean, come on. Like, I don't think younger people get married that early anymore. And I think that that's super smart. I listen. It's not to say that people can't meet somebody when they're 20 something and spend the rest of their lives. But, you know, when you do marriage math, which I talk about, on my show. Like if you're getting married that young of an age, you're going to be with the same

person for a long time. And I just, I don't know. I think that that's really hard to keep, because what I think happens with a lot of divorces, right? And people put such a negative sort of spin to divorce. And I think sometimes after 12 years, if you separate, like it's not, that's not a failure, right? I mean, you're with somebody for a long time, you know, and just life, sometimes you go on a different path. And it's just because you're not together anymore or it doesn't work out anymore doesn't mean it's a terrible thing, right? But I think it's very, it's more, it's less likely that you're going to meet someone at 20 and stay both of you on the same path for your whole life, right?

And I think that's why a lot of times people get divorced. People look at it negative, but that's just fucking life, you know. So I think you have more of a chance of staying together when you're older because, you know, maybe there's less paths to take, you know, it's when you're 20 years old. Do you know what I mean? It's like different. but it's a long time to expect to be on the same page and doing the same things, whatever.

How long after that did you meet your second husband? Yeah. Okay, so I was a single mom with a six-month-old and a three-year-old. And I was working in a birth center, and the only way I was able to do that job was that I had a nanny that lived with me for free in exchange for helping me out with my kids. So she was a college student and she just lived in my house.

I was able to get out after I put them to bed, you know, so I actually was able to have a little bit of a life, you know. Yeah. Totally saved my ass, honestly. I don't know what it. She lived with me for three years, actually. Yeah, that's awesome. It was amazing.

The best thing I ever did for myself as a young mom, best thing ever. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, so even after I got married the second time, she still lived with us for two years. So I met my second husband about a year after I got divorced. And it was amazing. We learned tantra together. We had a super awakening, activating experience.

Like, I was so in love with them. And it was a very beautiful relationship. And the only reason it ended is because he, had been sexually abused and by a priest that was his uncle and then it came out in the newspaper and he had been like the uncle had been

the priest had been accused with like over 100 counts of child molestation abuse and shortly after that it was Marty Graw and he got a DUI for the third time and lost his job of 20 years

and he just couldn't pull himself together. And I couldn't do it for him, you know? Yeah. So that's the dirty details. And there's a point where it's like, okay, well, you either have to pick yourself off the ground or you're just going to have to stay there, but I can't, I can't drag you. You know, I can't pick you up. You know, I mean, it has to come from the person.

I was saying, like, if you lead a horse to water and it won't drink, shoot it. Like, I mean, there's nothing you could do. You can't, you know, you can't force someone to, you know, do what's best for them if they don't have it in them yet, you know? Exactly. Yeah, he had a lot of trauma that he needed to face and he wasn't willing to do the work. Now, are you with somebody now? I am not. I'm single.

I've been single for almost two years now and dating. So that's been interesting. Wait, but how old are you now? I'm 35. you're 35 okay you have two kids right mm-hmm and then so they're now nine and 11 and so you're dating but so the tantra school

like after you you know you had I'm assuming you went to school for psychology and all that stuff right you have a degree for that in biology and chemistry oh okay and then you and then you went to tantra school and you got your and so because I always wonder like do sex therapists have a degree like is there a place where you go for school

to get that degree yeah yeah for sure Yeah, they are therapists, but they specialize in sexuality. So it's like a master's degree. Right. So at tantra school, though, like, are people coming in and, like, having sex in front of you? I mean, what are the clubs like? I don't know. No, no, no.

Well, it's a, it was a sexual relationship coaching training. So it's not, like, it's very tantric-based. My teacher spent 10 years in Asia learning from tantric masters and gurus and Dallas masters. So she had accumulated all its knowledge. She also went to Stanford and majored in human sexuality. So she had a very scientific background and a very spiritual background. Right. And that's what I was super drawn to, is that she had both.

I'm like, yep, that's what people need. And after my experience with the J-Degg, I was like, wow, this is so helpful for women connecting to their bodies after birth, you know, it just was the right fit for me. I just knew that this is what I was here to do. This was the work I was here to spread. and the coaching training took about two years to finish. So it was like a one-year live course and then you had an extra year to like complete all of the trainings and practicums and all of the stuff to make you certify that. But yeah, it was really intense.

We did two live components, most of it was online, but the live components were retreats. And it's lots of breathwork, lots of rituals. 50 women in the jungle of Mexico. Fuck yeah. We were naked the whole freaking time. And we were the weird shit. Right. I mean, yeah, it was amazing.

Oh, my God. Some guy walked into the by accident went off the beaten path and found you guys. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. Yeah. It was an epic experience. And I've been to Bali and a couple, you know, Mexico again and a couple of, and Greece and done similar, similar type retreats with some of the.

the women that I did my training with. And it's, it's amazing to have the community, you know, to have other women that are into this work that are doing the same thing. It's, you know, makes you feel not alone. Because when you come from a Southern Baptist family where your parents are still extremely Southern Baptist and you're completely open about what you do, like I was on Fox News and Mississippi a couple of weeks ago. Uh-huh. Oh my God. And, you know, I just saw my parents. they're like, well, what are you going to be on TV for? And I'm like, for sex. You know, like, I don't seek, um, I don't seek their approval because I know I'm never going to get it,

you know, but like having that, that community of other women that absolutely will celebrate me and cheer me on, you know, that's, that makes it able. It makes it possible for me to do such radical work in this world and to be on the freaking front line. of changing the paradigm of women and moms and sexuality because this shit has to end. Right. Like there's absolutely no reason. It's almost 2020 that we cannot be seen as moms and have our full sexuality and be okay with that. I'm fucking done with it.

I don't know about y'all, but I am done. Yeah, no. And like I said, I think it's just easy as a mom and a new mom, right? Like my son just turned four. And like I said, I definitely felt a shift around three. within myself, you know? But I went from like wearing high heels every day. Never, like sneakers only to the gym, you know, to like,

you're like in flats all the time because you're running. I have a boy, you know, so you're like at the park every day. New York, you're not in your house. You're out in the park every day. You know, so you're like, you lose that. I could totally get why so many women lose it. Because I think like, you know, I would have had to or women would have to know, like everything you know before that baby's born, right?

because once it happens, if you don't have a grip on it and you're not like, oh, I better hold on to that part of myself, it's going to fucking disappear listening to Baby Shark on a loop. You know what I mean? Because it's so on. It's just very unsexy. Everything is cutesy, cutesy schmoozy with when you have a baby. And we love that as women, right? We love that.

And that's a part of it. But, you know, there becomes this very imbalance, I think. You know, and I'm sure there's women out there that don't, you know, haven't lost it. but I don't think they're in the majority. I think most majority, the majority of women, you know, have this problem that you, you know, that you can help. Now, like, say I came to you or someone came to you, right? Did that need it help? Like a mom who's lost touch with her desire and she has no sex drive anymore.

You know, would you start her on the jade egg practice because, like, that's what started it for you? Or, like, how does it work when someone comes to see you? Yeah. Yeah. Well, for women that lack desire, I have a six-month program for them because this is holistic sexuality. I'm not giving you a freaking pink pill, all right? I'm giving you something that actually works that gets to the root cause of the problem so that you don't have to go try bilessi or whatever other drug. That's the newest drug on the market right now. It's just bilisci stuff for lack of desire for women. Oh, really? I've never heard of it. Yeah. keeps it from being full-blown is a couple of things. Conditioning, trauma, mindsets.

Right. And your body. Right. And listen, a lot of those things happen to women, right? Oh, absolutely. Yeah. Well, three of them, you have absolutely no control over. You don't have control over your imaging.

You don't have control over what happened to your body and how your body absorbs the conditioning. You don't have conditionate. You don't have control over the trauma that you got. The only thing you have control over is your mindset. So sometimes we have to start with that. And just changing that mindset that rewriting a new sexual narrative is usually the first place that I have women start. It's a top-down approach.

And then we go very quickly into a bottom-up approach to healing and activating their sacral chakra, their sexual energy again. and using the J-Deg is definitely part of it. I don't have a single female client that I haven't had used the J-Deg. I teach them how to use it and I give them tons of practices to do because it is so effective in helping them come back to their bodies and releasing all of the trauma and conditioning that's got their desire on lockdown because that's why they don't have the desire. There's nothing wrong with them.

There's nothing wrong with their body. There's nothing wrong with almost all of the time. Women like to blame it on their hormones. they like to say, oh, it's just my hormones. Well, of course, there's an initial period after you have a baby where your body isn't making the sex hormones because it doesn't want to get pregnant again. Right. That's normal.

That's natural. But after about a year, that starts to shift. It starts to change. You know, with breastfeeding, some people go longer than that so it can take a little bit longer. It's normal to have that natural law. But what I started to find was that people were, you know, they had six-year-olds and when the last time you had sex with your age?

husband like six months ago okay yeah so clearly there's something else going on it's not your freaking hormones stop blaming on your hormone right but what about man apollo women that's fucking hormones yeah yeah that that is and there's um i have a podcast actually that talks about the hormone component um so the hormone component is like you can take hormones but if your body isn't producing if your body is unable to process and produce hormones on its own it doesn't freaking matter how much one month you take. You know, you have to have the fatty acids. We don't eat enough fatty acids at all. Like that's a huge problem right there. So paramedopausal women, premenopausal women, you know, like making sure your gut biome is in check. That's a huge

reason that you're not able to make the hormones is because you're eating shit. Right. You know, like, yeah, making sure your diet's healthy, you're getting all of the fatty acids so that you're actually producing the hormones yourself because if you're not, all those extra hormones you're taking aren't going to do a bit of good. Right. So for premenopausal women, though, it is hardly ever the hormones that causes the lack of desire.

It's all of the trauma, the conditioning, the mindset, and their body that's holding it all, like birth trauma or sexual trauma and how your body retort, you know, gets the tension and the stress in the body. So we're working through, you know, all sorts of things. And I don't want to go into it because I'm not here to like tell you about my program or whatever. But it's addressing all four of those areas and not just one, which if you go to a counselor or marriage counseling, a lot of my people are like, well, can't I just go to marriage counseling?

Like, does your marriage counselor know shit about sexuality? Right. Most of them don't. They'll tell you to schedule sex. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's like the best advice they've got. Go on a date. Yeah.

Like, that's not the kind of, that's not what I do. What about like the things where I see on TV, like those rose pedals all over the bedroom? That would be like the biggest turn off for me. Like that would not turn me on as a woman. Like, I don't know. Right. Who likes that shit? Do some girls like that?

Like, I don't know. I just think I would like laugh. I don't know. I just don't think that that's hot, you know? I don't know. Yeah. I get it. Yeah, I mean, everyone's turned on a different way.

Yeah. You know, just scheduling sex and going on dates is not going to solve your sexual problems or issues. So you can go talk to us, a counselor or marriage counselor about that all day long, but is that solving your lack of desire issue? Probably not. Right. You know, that's why we have people that specialize in this like me or, you know, a very well-renowned sex therapist. There are a couple letters. Right.

Let me ask you this, because like, say the woman's. listening or some guys listening that has a wife that could really use your help, right? What is, like, I always want to know how much does it cost? Like, what's the deal? Like, what is your packages that you offer? Like, how much does it cost, you know, get to the, I get down to the basics, right? Like, that's what I would want to know, right? How much does it cost?

And what is the plan? Like, say, I went to you and said, hey, I need your help. Like, do you have a package deal where they have to come once a week? Is it a once a month? Do you do Skype? Like, can you explain your services and how much? they are? Yeah. So the pricing changes and I don't give it out because honestly you don't understand the value of it until you talk to me until I know that I can actually help you. I only work with

people on an application basis. So there are people that I just don't vibe with and people that that I don't want to work with. I have a full client roster so I get to be cheesy. Right. So I get to work with who I vibe with who I'm going to enjoy working with for the next six months and who I know is going to put in the work to create the transformation and the change. Because you can come see me. Most people I see every two weeks, sometimes every three weeks. But you're not able and willing to commit to doing the practices I'm giving you, then I, you know, then clearly why are you going to make the investment in yourself? It is an investment. And it's at least a couple grand investment. I don't work with anybody under a grand.

But yeah, it just goes up. And just depending on what you need, like I have different tiers of support. So, you know, like my six-month program, that's one of the highest tiers and also have like an eight-week program. And every now and then I do a group program. So it just kind of depends on what I've got going on all the time. But yeah, it's definitely an investment. But it's nothing like, you know, like people spend 35 to 50 grand on a new vehicle and they don't think twice about it. And then they go to invest a couple grand in their sex life and their relationship.

And they're freaking the fuck out. You know, like, come on, people. Where are priorities here? No, no, what about women with fillers and Botox? Don't even get me on the Botox and boot jobs. But I mean, you'll get there. You're still young. But, and you'll do it because I was always like, I would never.

I'm going to age gracefully. But when my body looked younger than my face, I was like, I need some help. Okay. And I didn't do anything. So I was 45. You know, you could hold it together in your 40s. But after 45. You need some little stuff done.

But you know, you could blow $1,500 in 20 minutes in the doctor's office, let a little and a lot more. So, you know. I don't have no problem with that. But it's when you tell me that you don't find yourself worth it enough to do the deep healing work that you need in order to have the sex life you want, that I want to go just smack your face and be like, what is wrong with you? Right. But I also think when you're dealing with people that have trauma or issues, a lot of times, they, have block blockages to like you know sort of you know helping themselves because it is like a deserving thing.

Oh, totally. So, you know, it's hard to get that. But for the people that don't have that and could find you, right? Like you said that they have to fill an application. Like, do you do an initial like phone consultation that's free or do someone has to go? Like, how does it work? Yeah. So they apply.

And when they apply, we set up a phone call. Yeah. And on the phone call, it's free. It usually takes an hour. And it's just giving us a chance to get to know each other, to. see what your challenges are, what you're struggling with, what you're wanting to create for yourself. And then we dive into the blocks. And that's where I work with people around the blocks to change anyway, because a lot of people are, here's what happens. They're terrified of what's going to happen

if they actually are turned on and sexual again. Some of them hold so much resentment to their partner to where they don't feel like they even want to give that to their partner. They're like, well, if I'm sexual again, then that means I have to give my sexuality to my partner, even though I secretly hate them and resum. And that's one reason they don't deep down that they have blocked. And then also, they think it's going to be this long arduous journey of healing through their trauma and conditioning. And what I need them to realize is it doesn't have to suck that when you're working on sexuality, that means you're working on pleasure. You're working on bringing back into your life all the things that bring you pleasure. you heal with pleasure because that is a woman's natural state is to be in her pleasure.

But moms in particular are taught to deny their pleasure, to sacrifice themselves, to, you know, and the more that she does it, the better for her kids. And that is the problem. That's the problem. Because actually, if you were in your pleasure, if you did make yourself a priority, if you didn't feel the need to have to sacrifice yourself and your needs for your kids, you wouldn't be so tired, overwhelmed, exhausted, and sexually unsatisfied all the time. And is that what you really want to pass down to your kids?

Probably not. So working with them on the phone for that hour, we're working through all those blocks because there are legit reasons why people don't want to do this work, and I get it. And if I can't get them to see that it's worth it, then they just don't end up working with me, and that's okay. You know, it's not like I'm super attached to everyone that applies. It's like some people are going to be a good bit. Some people aren't.

Right. And it's not like, I mean, a woman could do this on her own. She could be dating like you. Like she doesn't, like a lot of the practice I'm assuming is done solo, right? That does she need a partner to practice with? No. Or could she be a single woman that's doing it on her own? Not at all.

My coupled clients, the ones that are in a relationship, that's one of the things I have to really get across to them is that your partner can help you on this journey, but they are absolutely not necessary. You don't need their permission. You don't need their consent. This is your sexuality that you're working on because your sexuality is for you. And you get to decide if you want to give it to your partner. If you want your partner to be a part of it, it's sexual autonomy that empowerment that I'm helping them come back to. A lot of them, if they've been in a relationship since they were 20, for example, like you were saying. Yeah.

Those women don't know what's theirs and what's not theirs in their sexuality. They think their sexuality is their partners. And that's a part of the problem, too, is that actually, no, your sexuality is for you is for you to enjoy. You get to decide who your sexuality, who can be a part of that. And women are just so conditioned to the opposite of that, they don't even get it. oftentimes my most challenging clients are the ones that have been in really long-term relationships. They're 40 or 50. They've been in a 20-year relationship and they just have no idea that their sexuality can be for them, that it's for their pleasure and enjoyment and not somebody else's.

And reversing that story in their brain takes time. Yeah, no. And I was always like really selfish when I was younger. Like I was like the, I was like not very womanly in the fact because I was like more selfish and more like guy like in my. ways, right? And so I always, it was always easy for me to orgasm, easy me for to have good sex and all that stuff because I think I wasn't so female in that way, right? Whereas most women that I grew up with had issues having orgasms and stuff like that because they were more into pleasing their partner. They were thinking more about them when as a woman, you have to be thinking about yourself, right? You have to be connected to you. It's about you and therefore you, but I think most women tend to

sort of defer to somebody else, right? That's the people. pleasing thing that is put on women at a very young age. And so a lot of women, especially in my generation, have that going on or had that going on. And that to me gets in the way of having good sex, right? Totally. Yeah, the people pleasing tendencies is really rough. And motherhood even amplifies that, which is why they're challenging for moms to recognize that their pleasure is for them, that it's not about someone else.

that actually when you follow your own pleasure, your partner gets turned on by that. You know, those are our partners want us to be in our pleasure, but we don't recognize that. We think we have to cater to their every need. We have to constantly check in with them. Right. And that's not the truth of it at all. Yeah, no, I used to always try to tell my friends. Think of yourself.

It's only about you. And then guys would always think I was a good lay. But I think it was because, like I said, I was selfish, quote unquote. but like that just meant that I was a good thing actually yeah right and I think that that is good and like like you said when I became a mom and my sex drive went out the window it was probably because it was the first time of my life I wasn't selfish anymore I'm like more like a normal girl not good that makes so much sense yeah yeah my son I's like the first I'm always like he's got me I'm like his bitch like I've never you know listen to any guy as much as I listen to him you know he's the love of my life is what happens right so you know you know You know, it's, you know, whatever. But as far as you and like your sex life now, like, so you're multi-orgasmic. Can you squirt? Because that's like one of my things I want to figure out how to do.

And I just like, you know, is that like something like either you can physically or you can? Or like if you remove all those blocks and do what you did, like, did you suddenly squirt? Or were you always a squirt or like, or can you swart? That's my question. Yeah. Actually, I never did. I think I did twice maybe. Yeah.

Until January of this year. Really? And then I had one partner that just could do it every freaking time. And he just, he had a technique. Or was it with his hands? No, it was always with his finger. Right. Okay.

So he knew what to do with his finger. And you had never before with your partners ever before. I had when I received a pussy massage, but again, it was finger. And another time when I had sex and I was a guy with the biggest dick I've ever. love with. Right. So it's going to touch you in places because it was just so, there wasn't a lot of room in there. Yeah, exactly.

And then, yeah, it just came out. And then once when I had a pussy massage and then just one guy. But who gave you the pussy massage? Like, did you go to a place and like buy a pussy massage? No, no. No, like just a guy was doing it to you? No, it's a tantrika. We have the lovely capabilities of teaching our men how to work our bodies

in ways that they didn't know how. Uh-huh. So, yeah, I teach a tantric sex program to couples as well. And so this is the technique that I teach them, how to do pussy and penis massage. And it's a healing massage. And that's what we have to get across to men in particular is that it's a healing container. That means there is no goal. Making her have an orgasm, get that out your freaking head right now because that's not the point of this.

It's a healing massage. So you're just letting her feel what she needs to feel. You're bringing her home back into her body, getting her into the present moment, helping her to just be here right now and to feel whatever is alive right now. And in our vaginas and our pussies, there's points of tension and stress. It's this freaking sponge in there. So it absorbs all of that trauma, all of that conditioning. And when you're in this beautiful container of no purpose,

pressure, knowing that this isn't about penetration. It's not about sex. It's not about him getting you off. It's just about you getting to feel what's here right now. And when you give a woman that space, magical things happen. That's when things happen to her body. She didn't know where even possible. And I taught this, yeah, I taught this lover pussy massage.

And it was in that pussy massage that I just squirted everywhere. It was like the floodgates open. It was like, oh my God. And then every time after that, it was like, you could do it. So it just takes that trust and that container of knowing that, like, everything is okay here. Like, no matter what your expression is, no matter what you're feeling. Like, the first time it happened, I bawled. I was crying and crying the whole time he was doing the massage.

You know, like I was moving through some stuff and then it just happened. And it was because I could just, I could just. I could just be with my body. I could be here right now and just let my body do what it wanted to do. And there was no pressure and no goal. Same thing with being multi-orgasmic. Because you said like you went from not being to being multi-orgasmic, right? Yeah.

And so you think that people that can't. What? But I was not, I was orgasmic, but I was not multi-orgasmic. Right. Which is a totally different thing, right? And so do you think that people that can't aren't multi-orgasmic? Like maybe there's blockages there that they, could, because I always just figured like you're either one way or you're not, right?

But like, are you here to say that like if a woman is only having one orgasm that maybe there's some blockages in her and she could move those away and she would be multi-orgasmic? I am here to say that there are infinite levels of pleasure that we are capable of experiencing in this body and that when we put a cap on our pleasure, then we put a cap on our orgasmic potential. Right. And I'm here to say that you can constantly upgrade and up level your pleasure and orgasmic capacity. There's always room to feel more. Right. Always. There's always another level. Just when I think I've experienced the best sex in my life, then I have another experience and like, damn. Actually, that was about sex in my life. Oh, actually that was. Just keeps getting better.

And there's no end to it. It's infinite. But what about your date? Because you're dating now, right? And like you had all these sort of things put on you when you were younger like oh you can't have sex if you're not in love whatever like I mean are you able are you what kind of woman are you because you said there's some women that could you know have to have that intimacy and that connection and some women that don't are you someone that could go out and have like a one night stand because you're so open or is that is it the opposite you know I wonder that's a really great question I love that I am there's different ways that I like to look at one turn on in pleasure.

One way is through breaks and accelerators, right? Like this is the work of Emily Nagalski, and she talks about how, you know, you need to know your personal breaks, sexual breaks, and your personal sexual accelerators. What are the things that turn you on? What are things that turn you off? And, you know, having a good idea of what that is for you. And for most women, that means that sometimes you have super sensitive breaks, super sensitive accelerators or they're really tight and firm.

Like when you go drive a car, sometimes that accelerator, you barely press on it. It's like, whom, 100 miles, you know? And other times it's like you have to press it, pedal and metal to the metal to get 200 miles an hour.

But that's how women's sexuality is. Like it can vary and fluctuate so much. And this is a difference between having spontaneous desire. and a responsive desire. So 80-something percent of women have a responsive desire and where they have pretty sensitive breaks. But for me, I have extremely sensitive accelerators and very non-sensitive breaks.

So I am in that way, it's like I'm more like the 15-ish percent of women that have spontaneous desire and most men have spontaneous desire. They don't need a lot of mental stimulation. They don't need a lot of like all the turn on throughout the day to get turned on. Yeah. So I do have more of the sexuality of the typical man. And it does make me able to have one night stands to have a lot of sexual partners and not feel bad about it. Like I don't need a lot to be turned on.

So, you know, that is that is who I am as a sexual woman. But for most of my clients and most of the people that I know and talk to, that's not the case for them. So, you know, there's also the erotic blueprints, which is Jaya's work. And she really explains the different sexual archetypes. Like some people are blueprinted to be turned on by kinky things. Some people are blueprinted to be turned on by their senses. Some people need, you know, the nudity and the touch of their body. Right.

Or maybe they're more visual than the regular person or they get turned out by what they hear. I think of people have differences like those as well, right? Yeah. So even in the erotic blueprints, my primary blueprint is as a sexual. And that's what most the typical male man is considered to be as sexual. And then there's like an energetic blueprint, a sensual, a kinky, and a shapeshifter. And most women are like an energetic blueprint. But even when I studied guys worked on our quizzes and everything, it's like, no, I definitely have the sexuality of a man. Right, right. So it's not typical. But yeah, I have, I have quite a few sexual partners, and I have lovers, and I've had amazing tantric lovers and experiences that are wonderful. And I'm a mom.

And I'm an awesome mom. And now are you by, like, are you with women and men, or is it just strictly guys? Like, I mean, what's your experience like that? I am the straightest woman I've ever known. Right. It's almost disappointing. I just love Cox.

I love being concentrated. I love penises. And I've just never looked at a woman and been like, damn, I want to have sex with her. It just never happened. I kind of wish I did because I think it would be fun. But again, it just never happened for me. So, you know, you just kind of got to honor what it is in front of you that you desire. So it's all men for me.

And for somebody like you who's so open and aware and in touch, like if it was there, you'd be doing it, right? I mean, you have no hangups now. You went from being like somebody that was totally closed off to somebody who was completely open, right? So it's like if you were interested, you would have, you know, been there, done that by now. Oh, I'm sure. Yeah. It's just in my wiring. Like, I'm just like, I like men.

I like their bodies. I like it. So now give your website, right? and also let people know where they can listen to you. You have a podcast, your own podcast tube, and also you have a website where people could go and see your packages that you have available. You want to give out a shout-out to those things?

Sure. Yeah, the website doesn't have everything I offer on it. Like I said, you fill out an application, and we'll talk about all the different options. It's just a lot to put out all the different offerings. Wait, I'm going to just cut you off for one real quick, and then I'll get you back on. I just, because you don't want to give prices or anything,

but I'm just going to tell some people because I went on your website while we're talking. And like if you say someone just wants to do the whole J-Dade thing, right, because they want to just start there, I mean, they could basically buy the stuff online, right? And you could buy a J-Dick for like 80 bucks. And then you have some very reasonable packages where people could get like information from you, right?

You provide that information of what they could do with it and, you know, and practice on their own. And I mean, it's like 100, 150 bucks. I mean, it's not expensive at all. people can start in places like that, right? Besides, you also have the coaching. So anyway, go on. Give your website so that people could see this information.

This is just stuff that you have online. I'm just letting people know. Right. Yeah. There's different J-DIG audio guided practices and self-study guides that you can get. But yeah, the website is the multi-orchasmic mama. Mama is spelled m-a-ma.com. And you'll see two of my coaching packages, one, Tantric sex for couples.

and the other is my Ignite Your Desire jade egg coaching program, which is a mix of sex coaching and jade egg coaching. And it's by far my most effective, most sold, most sought after program that produces fucking epic results for helping women get their desire back. And then the podcast is the multi-rogasmic mama on iTunes and Stitcher, and you'll also see it on the website and can stream from the internet there. Yeah, and next you're going to have a book because, I mean, you have the title already. I think there's no, I mean, right?

I mean, you have to. That's a great, to me, I don't know. I'm like expecting a little tab for a book. That's what you need that. Oh my God. Right? I can't even imagine writing a book at this point of my life. Yeah, it's hard.

It takes a lot of time. But, oh, man, yeah. Give me at least, you know, a couple of years on that one. You probably have a lot of it already with all the, you know, because it could be a how-to guide, right? And there's probably all these things that you have already. ready the stuff that you send out to your clients and all the stuff that you put together for your business right you just that you probably already have half your book two thirds well that's what the

podcast is yeah the podcast is a lot of how to use um it's each episode could be a freaking book in itself you know i just don't like writing so yeah yeah yeah no i want to talk or not a writer yeah i'm a writer i'm a talk or not a writer i wrote books and none that have done anything major But the process of doing it is very interesting because it does sort of slow down your brain in a way that was like interesting for me because I'm like very quick with talk. You know, my talking things come in my head and out my mouth whereas writing was like a something that really taught me to slow down a little bit because it's a totally different way of sort of communicating. And it was hard for me because it's not natural, but it was interesting to go through that process, you know. But I bet you anything in your lifetime at some point you're going to write a book. It's all there.

You have it already by the way. sure. Oh, I know. This is not, not now. Right, exactly. No, you're still having fun. You're young. Your kids are grown up. You have tons of partners. You're like a dude. You get to sleep around. You're having a good time. And so if people want to see you, there's tons of pictures of you on the, I mean, normally nobody's getting, you know, I normally have to ask people like, oh, what's your scale of one to 10 on my podcast? People are always, I think my listeners are always dying to know, like, what are these women, especially when women are on. Like, what do they look like? because they're like hearing you speak and they're like you know they want to get a picture well if people want to see you they could just go to your website because there you are right that's you the multi-orgasmic mama dot com then you know i'm sure men are going to be checking that out just to see what you look like but if women that are listening or a guy that's listening and you have a girl you know your wife whoever that you know sort of lost touch with yourself go to her website maybe get a jade egg sign up for the coaching or and also listen to your podcast because there's a lot of great topics on there for people

people to. I mean, that's a big how-to, right? They could get a lot more information of specific topics, right? Because I tried to cover a little bit of everything on here, right? But they could go to your podcast. And what is the podcast called the same thing as your website? Yes, the multi-argasic mama. Right. Awesome. Okay. Awesome. Thanks, Lacey. Thanks so much for calling in. Yeah. Thank you so much for having me on. It was fun. Thank you. Thanks for calling. Yeah, totally. Hopefully you'll get some clients from it. Awesome. All right. I'll be sure to

let you know. All right, cool. Okay. All right. Bye. All right. Bye-bye. Okay. I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession. Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers is now available, not only in paperback and e-book, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang being girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person. And they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person. And I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like Penthouse

letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. 17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format, and finally, the audiobook is available coming out August 25th, but you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not. disappoint, okay? There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me, okay? I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content

with each other, and that's what you get to do there. You could post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total, strictly anonymous community, and you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord. It's private, like that. I said, all you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook, or the paperback. Send it to me at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. That's strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com.

And I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in. This is the Strictly Anonymous podcast.