Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 319 - Sean Wants to Stop Cheating on his Wife with Cross Dressers

Episode Date: January 20, 2020

Sean calls in because he wants advice on how to stop cheating on his wife with cross dressers. When did he first realize he was into cross dressers and when did he first start hooking up with them? How many times has he cheated on his wife? Why does he want to stop now? And, what can he do to stop cheating? Tune in to find out plus hear all about how he recently came out as bisexual and how his wife reacted, how she reacted when he then asked her if she’d be open to having sex with other guys while he watched, his most recent, secret hook up with a dominatrix and how that experience made him realize he is totally into bdsm and a whole lot more. **To see anonymous pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Strictly anonymous podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. The Craigslist is definitely like the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Singapore or Thailand. You can't not do it.

The temptation is just too much. Your real problem. Your friend know that you're banging her or no. No, he has no idea. And anything goes. The motto of the show, let your freak flag fly. Probably the only good advice I'll ever give you is to rehire. your whips and chain. Here is your host, Kathy.

Hey, welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast with Kathy. If you want to follow the strictly anonymous podcast on Instagram or Twitter, follow the show at Strict Anonymous. If you want to be on the show, this is a call and advice show where I give total strangers my unprofessional advice. But most of the time I'm just like listening to people talk about their naughty secret lives. If you want, you have a naughty secret life, or you want some advice on your naughty secret life or just on your regular problem, but nobody, you have no friends or your friends that want to talk to you about it anymore and you want to talk to me, send me an email, strictly anonymous podcast at jemal.com or go to my website, strictly anonymous podcast.com

and click on Be on the Show. If you want to talk to me, but you don't want to have your secret life posted on the podcast, you just want to have a talk with me. It's like I call that consulting. I don't know. I offer that as a service now. I've been doing it a lot. I enjoy it because I really do like to help people. So if you have a problem, then you want to talk to me, like I said. But you don't want your shit out there and you don't want your voice on air.

That's fine. We could talk on the DL. It's even more anonymous. But there is a fee for that. But you can send me an email. It's strictly anonymous podcast.com. And I'll give you the information. Today I'm about a guy named Sean.

Sean is like a lot of guys. I've taped other guys that have the same story. He's a guy who's married and he hooks up with dudes on the side, but they're not really dudes. He's more into trannies, chicks with dicks, cross-dressers, that kind of stuff. And he doesn't want to hook up with them anymore behind his wife's back. He did like right in looking for advice. So we talk about, you know, how he could sort of quit that behavior and keep it within his, not really keep it within his relationship, but like maybe start living it out within his relationship.

He did wind up telling his wife recently that he wanted a dick in his ass, which was very balzy of him. Wait till you find out how he did it, how she reacted, and why they haven't sort of moved on from that. He still needs to come clean with more. He wants to, but he's not sure that his wife will be into it because recently he also got into some BDSM and met with the dominatrix and got the shit kicked out of it and out of him and he wound up really, really liking it. So he's looking to maybe bring his wife into that scenario too because his big goal in all of this is to stop doing stuff behind her back and do all the things that he enjoys with her. And that's the problem he's having.

And like I said, I literally just taped another guy who has the same issue. It's like he has this double life, but he doesn't want to because he really loves his wife and he wants her to know exactly what he's into. So I'm assuming there's a lot of guys out there that are like this. So you'll learn a lot from this podcast because he does look for advice and I think I give him some good advice. So anyway, I'm going to be right back on with Sean. So, Sean, you're like a lot of guys that call. But of course there's going to be many differences once I get into questioning you like Barbara Walters on your life. but in that you are you were a secret bisexual right you're bisexual right but you were you recently

came out to your wife right that is correct yep how recently did you come out to your wife and how did you come out to your wife i feel like there's a lot of guys out there that would love to come out of their wife sure so uh we've been we've been married for 16 years and actually i i finally came out to her within like the last couple of weeks while we were actually in the middle of having sex. You told her you came out adoring sex. Yeah, that is correct, which is probably not advisable, but for me, that's how it happened. To give you a little bit of context, I was actually on top, and my legs were spread open, and I just, I don't know, I just, the position,

or I don't know sure what it was, but I just, I said, how great would it be if I had a cock inside me right now? Oh my God.

Yeah. Did she freak out? Oh, no, we, we just kind of finished business as usual, and then the,

obviously the conversation did come up later on. Like later on, like an hour later or later on, like three days later? Um, it was,

I think it was kind of like the next day. Um, I do a lot of work out of town, actually. It was, I think we talked a little bit more via text.

and not really so much in person until I got back from work. That must have totally. Because, okay, you've been married for 16 years, right? And, like, you, like, throw out there that, like, you would love to be, like, fucked in the ass. But I'm assuming you didn't also tell her that you've been with guys. Because I know the other thing in your email, right, was that you have the secret in that you have been cheating on her behind her back, right? With men. So you've been with men, right?

But you didn't tell her that, right? Yeah. I didn't say that I'd been cheating on or anything like that. I just kind of came out and let her know how I feel about that aspect of my sexual life. But let me ask you this. Did you tell her that you've been with guys? Like, did she ask you that question? And what did you say when she did?

Or maybe she didn't. No, she didn't ask if I had slept with any other guys. I guess she was a little confused. What do you mean? Well, I guess I'd never really talked about anything like that before. So she just seemed, she just had a few questions like, are you, are you gay? Are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you bisexual? Is it just a fantasy?

That kind of stuff. So we talked about that. Right. But she never once said, have you, like, were you with guys ever in your life or anything like that now? No, she didn't bring anything like that up. So she just assumes that this is something new for you that you brought up. That's correct.

Right. Okay. Interesting. I would have totally asked, like, had you ever? Because, I mean, how old were you when you first? started hooking up with guys. How old were you when you met her, by the way? So, yeah, I was in my really early 20s, like, I want to say 22 when I met my wife. And we got married really, really, really early in our relationship. Right. And she's actually the one I lost my virginity to.

Okay. So I lost my virginity when I was 22. Oh, wow. But when did you lose your virginity to a guy? I would say that that didn't happen until like maybe three or four years later in a relationship. I kind of looked at myself as a very monogamous person and up until that point. And then I don't know if things just kind of got stagnant in the bedroom or what happened. But I had all these curiosities that I wanted to explore. Right. You were still young. All right.

So you had always thought maybe about guys like when you were jerking off or like in your own private thoughts, right? I'm assuming. Yeah, I mean, I actually had, like, friends that were gay and some of them that were bisexual that would ask me questions or ask me, well, want to try this and stuff like that, but I never really went for it, I guess. And then those thoughts and feelings kind of built up over the years, and eventually I just kind of took the dive. Right. While you were dating your girlfriend, that was the first time. Well, I was married. I mean, married, right?

Yeah. Yeah. Right. You're like 24 and married. but not in right correct now did you did you lose your virginia with her because of like you're very religious or um i i i was very shy like in high school i didn't do a lot of dating or anything like that and then i i i would say like in my before i turned 21 i didn't really have a serious relationship um until just before i met my wife my my previous i guess ex-girlfriend that i never had

sex with. How long were you with her for? I was my ex, girlfriend. I would say like two years. So two years and you never had sex, right? That's why I'm saying, like, are you Mormon or something? You know, is it what's with the no sex before marriage? I'm not really sure.

I think some guys might struggle with it. Like, it was just a self-confidence type of thing maybe. I just didn't think I was good enough or I didn't know how I was going to perform or or you didn't know where to put it in. I mean, come on. two years you're dating a girl would you guys like get naked and do everything else but you just didn't put it in there's a there's kind of a story behind that yeah i'll try to keep it short but basically she was engaged to another man and she worked at the same place that i worked and so we hit it off as friends

and i ended up spending a lot of time with her and um kind of being a a role model for model for her kids and she's actually the first person I this is going to sound crazy but I hadn't even kissed a woman until I met my ex right and she was the first person I actually I gave a kiss to now was she engaged with someone else the whole time you were with her she was yep okay so you were like the other man correct okay and so was it her sort of saying I can't let you fuck me because then like maybe she had some weird of line that she built in her head like oh if i don't fuck him it's not really cheating or something like that because i you know it was her maybe i mean it was i think i think she wanted to and i think she gave me a lot of signals saying like you know i'd like to mess around

but i i kind of felt like in if she was going to continue to date this other guy it wasn't appropriate i don't know if that sounds weird or not it actually right but did she blow you and you went down on her like were you doing that kind of stuff or were you just i never had anything anything like that with her we we kissed and that was as far as it ever went oh but so you so you kiss someone and dated that's a little weird that's a weird story okay yeah i dated someone for two years and we never passed first base yep that's that is correct right so maybe you didn't really date her she she was the first person that really kind of even got me interested in maybe exploring my sexuality and stuff like that.

She, she pushed me to kind of open up, and she would always try to get me to, you know, date other women and just kind of like a best friend type of thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's more like a friendship or like, you know, because it's, there's something like off there that like, you know, maybe. So I think maybe it's like the, maybe the terminology that you're using is incorrect. But wait, so you get with your wife, right? And I don't know why I'm so fascinated by the whole, like, not having sexing, but it's, maybe it's starting to be like a thing.

Because you get with your wife, right, and you're dating her. And how long did you date her before you guys got married? So we probably dated for six months before I got her pregnant. Oh, okay. So then you, so you had sex with her before you were married. You got her pregnant. Yeah, correct. So didn't you tell me just 10 minutes ago that you didn't have sex with her until you were married?

Well, I guess it was a We had sex and then we had We had a kid together And that I guess that was kind of not correct Okay, because I'm like focusing on the fact that it's like so odd That you like waited until you were married, right? But you didn't wait until you were married You were like you waited a couple months

You got her pregnant and then you had to get married That's a very that's a more normal story I don't feel like we had to get married but you did like yeah you're the right thing okay so you were young with a child with a girl i mean like all this happened for you so fast right and so a couple years into it you start having these fantasies of yours of or curiosity right of being with another man start to come up how do you have that first encounter like what happens do you go on craigslist like how do you have your first hook up with a guy so my first time with a guy was actually um uh transsexual

Oh, interesting. And was that what you were looking for? Were you looking for a girl in a turnout she was a tranny? Or were you looking for a he sheet? Like, what was your deal? I just, I mean, I really, really do like the female form. I feel like I'm more heterolining than I am the gay side of things. So I was just really attracted to women.

And I thought the idea of them also having a cock was kind of a nice benefit. Right, right, right. And so that's what you were looking for. Correct. And now did you find that on Craigslist or like how did you find that first person that you were away? A lot of people during this time, Craigslist was the place to go. Yeah. And that's exactly where I went.

I put an ad on and I met a person and we hit it off pretty quickly. Right. Okay. And now, listen, that's where I got all my guests. The first couple years of my show, that's what it was all about. I went on to Craigslist. I posted ads and people respond to me or I reached out to people. so I could have emailed that guy that you were with.

I was like, you know, that's where everyone went. So you hook up with that person. Now, are you a top or a bottom? I would say a switch. I did both. You did both. Yeah, that's a little bit more rare, right? I mean, from all the guys that I've talked to, typically, it's like somebody's like one or the other.

Now, with that first experience, was it like amazing? Like, what actually went down? Were you a top or bottom? Did you do everything that time? So yeah, it's it's one of those experiences that I'll never forget because it was pretty hot. I did I did everything. I remember walking in to it was at her place and walking through the door and she was like, oh, just give me a minute. I'm getting out of the bathroom.

And she came out with just a robot and dropped it. and I remember this is just getting kind of into details but that's cool people love details I'm always not getting enough details I think for people yeah the thing I remember was like how big her dick was compared to mine like she was flaccid and this thing was hanging down and I'm thinking like it's the same size as is mine when I'm holding right yeah yeah uh-huh um and then next thing you know is she's having me come in the bed and I'm I believe that we started off just kind of like jerking each other off and maybe a little bit of cock sucking back and forth.

And it was the first time I ever sucked the dick. And I knew then that I liked it. And you were, did you spit or swallow? I'm sure you swallowed, right? I actually never got her to come that way. Oh, interesting. Okay. Yeah, I don't remember

how long I did it for, but there was other things that we did. obviously that I could get her to finish, but that was not how it. Totally. Okay, cool. And so then, so you're, you guys are fooling around, you're blowing her. She's, and then who do you get, do you fuck her in the ass first, or does she do you? Well, okay, so she didn't want me to, or she didn't want to fuck me unless she knew that I was clean.

So actually, she had an EMA kit that I used, something to clean. Oh, interesting. So I actually, for the first time, I used one of those kits. And it wasn't, it was just, you know, used like a soapy water or mildly soapy water, whatever, to clean yourself out and then you rinse yourself out. But it's the first time I ever did anything like that where I completely got cleaned out before we actually did anything. Yeah, how was that? Well, I don't, I don't recommend this, but when I got fucked for the first time, it was completely bareback. Like, no condoms.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, bad. Yeah. Especially because you're cheating on your wife. Terrible. Yeah, I know. Yeah. And then, but it, she was very good. I mean, I didn't expect it to be enjoyable at all, especially for my first time.

But I don't know if it's because I, maybe I played with toys or something before that I was, and I was able to relax or she was just a good coach or what the deal was. Right, right, right. But I remember it being pretty hot and I don't remember it really hurting too much. Right. And so you had, you had, like, put stuff in your ass before yourself when you were playing around. Yeah, there was, you know, now that I'm thinking about this, this has happened so long ago, and I'm trying to remember, like, every, every little thing that popped up, like, what the sequence of events was. But I do remember there was also a woman who, before her, actually pegged me with a strap on.

Oh, okay. So there was somebody, oh, just a woman, a girl that you were dating. Not nope She was off of Christmas as well Oh so you were cheating on your wife with women too The I've actually There was two women that I cheated on with Okay so what did that that was before the guys

So Yep Okay and when you were looking for women Was it the whole pegging thing that you were looking for Was it kind of like Was that what it was about I think it was Yeah a little bit about like the toys

And the experimentation but also just kind of, I had never been with another woman, so just to see what it was like, because I felt like maybe I lost out on that chance. Most, most young men, they, you know, they sold their royal oats or whatever, and I never really did that. So I felt like maybe I needed to maybe experiment around and just kind of see what's out there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so you had that one peg you. How did that come about? I did not like it. Oh, you did it. It's, no, it was the, the toy was just, too hard and she was too rough and I just it was not a good experience. Right. So back to

the woman that you found on Craigslist, right? The chick with the dick. Like what do they call them? With a transvestite, right? Yeah. A tea girl. Tranny. Whatever. Yeah. Now was she really pretty and a great body? Yeah, I thought I thought so. I thought she was pretty good looking. Darker skinned. But very, very nice breasts. I'm not entirely.

sure if they're real, if they can, if they can grow them. I'm not sure how that works. Yeah, I'm thinking maybe if they take hormones, but then, yeah, right? I don't know. But yeah, I mean, the complete package, just like, just a very, very, almost model-esque, I guess. Right. Now, let me ask you this. Did you feel, how did you feel after the first time?

You said it was, like, amazing and it was like a great first experience, right? it was like super hot, right? But like after you came down from that, did you have any weird guilt or because maybe not because this is like, it's not like the first time you're cheating, but it is the first time you're like with a guy behind your wife's back. Yeah. I would say there was a little bit of guilt, a little bit of panic, like, oh, no, you know, I want to get caught, you know, and then the fact that I didn't use protection, like,

oh, no, I'm going to have to go get tested and what if I got something and all, lots of different things going through my head at that point. Mm-hmm. And did you go get tested? and then be clean after that, like all the time? Yep. I actually went and got tested, not for the reason that I needed to be sure, but because when I went to the bathroom,

I thought I got something. I was actually, I got a little bit of burning. Oh, no. And I'm thinking, here we go. Like, this is it. This is the guy's worst nightmare. When the doctor was talking to me, I remember him saying, well, you probably got a list of different,

There's chlamydia and gonorrhea, and we can go on and on. But when the test results came back, it was a urinary tract infection. Oh, thank God. Yeah. But you had to attested yourself for everything because of that anyway. Correct. And then every time you've cheated on her with guys since, like, you've always been protected. It's, I would say it's been about 50-50, to be honest.

Yeah, isn't that crazy? I mean, I say it all the time, and it's very true. And that's why I'm like, I'm trying to get advertisers in my show now, and I should have a condom advertiser. because people don't fucking use condoms and they should. But I think, you know, but most people don't.

Seriously. Like I always did and like I had a very long term booty call guy that always did. But we were two people that were like hypochondriacs. And I think that that's like the thing. Like, you know, because, you know, it takes that kind of person that's so super afraid of diseases. Yeah.

But the normal person, they don't. I agree. They'd rather not because it doesn't feel as good, right? So if you don't have that paranoia, but you're not, most people aren't putting one on, you know. And the worst thing about it is with the cheating, you know, that's what's so bad because you could bring home something to your girl, right? So now, you've never been caught, right? I've never been caught.

Right. And so you just used Craigslist all the time. Now, did you ever see that tranny again or did you always do one-offs with these people? Did you have anyone that you slept with a lot? I was I loved that experience with this trans and I I did see her two more times but then things started get kind of weird in what sense like to cheat you felt like she started to like you yeah I think I think she wanted more than just a kind of a SWB friend with benefit type thing right uh-huh so I it was like you know what are you doing really kind of digging into my my

personal life, trying to find more about where I live and what I do. And then it just, I just didn't want, I didn't want that. Right, right, right. And now, when did you have like a straight-up guy? So I don't know if this counts, but the next, the next person that I ended up sleeping with was a cross-dresser. So a guy in women's clothing. Right. And that one was actually pretty hot as well.

The cross-dresser. Yeah. Then I started to kind of realize that maybe it's not just women that I, that I have to, you know, they don't have to look like women, but maybe just maybe men in general is something that might work for me. Yeah. Like you went from the tranny, then to the cross-dresser, and then did you go to a guy after that or do you strictly like the cross-dressers and the transsexuals? I kind of, I kind of did gravitate towards having sex with men. right after that and so how many times would you say in all like since you've been like so you've been with your wife for 16 years you started cheating on her into it a couple of years so you've been cheating on her for a long time right do you average like two guys a year or is it just like a handful of guys or is it hundreds of times like how much have you cheated on her i'm i'm fairly confident that i haven't

had sex with more than, I would say, 10 different people. So it hasn't been that often, maybe once every couple years. Right. Okay, cool. And the only reason why I'm asking these questions is because there is a part in your email that you were like, oh, I could maybe use your advice. I know what I'm doing is wrong. Are you getting to a point where you feel bad about what you're doing?

Yeah, I'm kind of at a breaking point. I need to either come clean or I can stop doing what I'm doing. Well, what would you, okay, you already came. clean because coming clean with like hey baby i've been doing all this stuff behind your back it is like i don't know it is a little crazy right you have to figure out what you're going to come clean with because you know it's why it's great that you came clean with uh you know the fact that you're into guys right she doesn't know that you've ever been with anybody what is like coming clean with her what would it mean for you what would the

outcome be that you want her to allow you to be with guys or like what do you see as like the perfect scenario for you so i feel like i've i've kind of evolved into the type of person that i am like over the years like i i didn't just wake up at 21 and had like a bunch of different fetishes or anything like that just kind of something that kind of like builds up over time like you kind of you get interests and whatever and yeah this thing leads to that thing right like you just stumbled Yeah. Uh-huh. So the most recent thing that I've really kind of been thinking about and fantasizing

about was getting into hot wiping. I just think it would be really hot and sexy to have my wife fuck another guy. Okay. And actually, before I came out about being by, I would say two weeks before that, and this is kind of risky too because I'm like throwing all this stuff at her. I told her that that's, I wanted to see that happen. And what did she say to that? She wasn't very responsive to that at first.

I kind of had to get it out of her, like ask, like give her some time to think about it, and then ask again. And then when she finally did talk to me about it, she just, she pretty much just said, no, that's not what she wants. She wants to have a monogamous relationship. She wants a monogamous. She's not into it at all. That's what she,

told me. Okay, so with that off the table, right? What do you, what would come and clean about guys do for you with her? I'm hoping that maybe eventually she'll change her mind and then we can maybe get into the hot wife thing or maybe we can get into like an SLS type of thing. What does SLS mean? Swinger lifestyle. Oh, right, right. Now, no, you know your wife. You've been with her forever, right? You guys grew up together, right? You guys grew up together, right? It's very interesting to be with the same person through your 20s, 30s, right? You're about to go into your 40s, right? So do you think your wife is somebody that would be open to these things?

Early on in our relationship, she was a little bit more open about stuff like that. I know she would kiss other girls and play around with other girls. Even when I started dating my wife, like she slept around quite a bit with other men while I was, dating her. Right. And so I just feel like she did it early. Yeah. Like maybe if she brought it back, we could just be more open and honest about it.

Right. Wait, did you catch her with the other guys? Like, was there? I never, I never actually caught her in the act, but it was pretty obvious because she would go to these other people's houses. And when I was dating her, she was actually still. kind of on and off with an ex of hers. And so she would spend a lot of time there. And she was also recently divorced.

So she had a husband, an ex-husband that she spent time over at their place or his place. Oh, wow. So, I mean, I never got 100% confirmation that she was sleeping around, but there was enough evidence there to say that she was. Right. You never got, you never found out for sure. Correct.

Okay. So that's not really, and she never copped to it. That is correct. Right. So she's not going to, so that doesn't make it that sort of. Yeah. It's just a gut feeling that I have, but I don't really have. Other than that, I don't really know.

And then I had, like, friends telling me, well, yeah, you know, we did this together. Your friends? Well, bar friends and stuff like that, like, guys that you'd hang out with the bar and be like, oh, yeah, you know, we went in the back and we did this. you know, I don't know if that was just trying to get me to, you know, get me upset or what the deal was. But I do remember a lot of these feelings that I had, like, during the time we were dating, we're definitely not good. Oh, my God. How did you feel about, yeah, that's crazy that you, that's a lot of drama. But that's typical.

Like, you guys were super young. Yeah. I'm surprised you married her. Um, I mean, we just, we just really. hit it off. I mean, like... No, I mean, some guys would just go a little mental and not have trust issues. Like, did you have trust issues with her after all that stuff? Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Before I found out she was pregnant, I actually I broke up with her. And it wasn't a week later until she came over and told me the news that she was, you know, burying my child that we actually got back together. Right. And let me ask you this, though. Did a little part of you cheating?

Like when you were cheating feel like a little less? guilty because you felt like she had cheated as well? Absolutely. Right. Like I felt like it was almost like an out for me. Like she did this when we were dating and. Right.

Yeah, you can't leave that out of the story, right? That's right. So, you know, on some level you were just, not justifying it, but you were like, it's like payback. You don't feel as bad, right? Yeah. I mean, it's, I don't know.

Payback's kind of a strong word, but maybe in a lot of. of ways you're right right but like do you I'm assuming because you've been with her for six years you eventually got over the trust issues you've never caught her cheating after that did you ever think she was doing anything through your marriage since like after those beginning things that happened I don't think so I mean we she's been so busy with kids and raising a family and I've been like so busy with work that I don't think she would have time right Yeah. But how old is she? Is she your age too?

Yeah, we're pretty close. She's a year older than me, so she's 40. When was the last time you cheated on her? The last time was, I want to say, two or three weeks ago. Right. And then what do you think made it come out that you, like, came out to her. You know, you said you were at a breaking point. So, like, what has been going on with you that you felt? like you had to like let her know and what is the breaking point that's happening that is that's a really good question i feel like so i mean we've been you know married for 16 years and sex at this point is getting kind of routine and i've always i've always been able to like take care of her

like get her to come have an orgasm up until like this last couple of years we we our sex life has gotten better. Like, we've been having more frequent sex, so I don't know if she's in her prime. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. For women, late 30s, early 40s, yeah. So, but with the frequency, like, I'm having more difficulties getting her to come. And, like, I, I could spend, like, sometimes an hour, an hour and a half, you know, fucking her. And I, of course, I don't have a problem reaching that point. But it's, it's been, like, every other time now where I'm like, I'm not getting her to the point where she has an orgasm. And I think it would be so much better for both of us if she just would expand her horizons,

you know, bring another person in the bedroom and get her taken care of. You know what I mean? Like if I can't do it on my own, then I not only do I think it would be hot, but I feel like I want to find a way to take care of her. I don't know if that makes sense. Yeah, for sure. Have you talked to her? Of course.

But have you talked to her about her problem that she's having like with orgasms? She, yeah, she says it doesn't really bother her. Like, you know, she said, oh, I was, you know, really close or whatever. And then it's like, I don't know. It's just so tough, like, to deal with that. Or if you were close, then why didn't you tell me before I finish? Because then it makes it even that much harder to, you know, take a break and then do what you want me to do. She's not on any new medication or anything, is she?

No, no, she's not any medications or anything like that. Right, so it's not like it could be any kind of physiological thing going on. You think maybe it's just because she's been with you for so long. I mean, I always wonder, how the hell do you stay attracted if you're just with one person? You know what I mean? Yeah. Especially if you're not really going there and fantasizing and doing role playing with each other, right? I don't know. like how do you after a long time I think after double digits years like you know and especially if you

really care about the person you have a great relationship you know uh and you want to keep it hot you know what do you do exactly and that's part of like for me bringing up certain things like hey do you want to try the hot wiping thing or hey do you want to try you know this new toy or just trying to bring other things into the bedroom um just to spice it up is definitely something i've i feel like I try to do more often than she does. Mm-hmm. And does she turn it down lately? Like, like, toys and stuff like that?

Has she ever been into that? She, she's, she can be a freak in her own way. Mm-hmm. She really likes, like, things like going out into the country and fucking in the car, stuff like that. Right. That's fun. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, so, I mean, there's, we, obviously, we both have our own kinks, and we try to take care of each other's kinks, but she doesn't know just how, like, deeply mind go. She doesn't know about yours at all because she did, I'm surprised she didn't ask the question, like, were you ever with guys? Is it maybe because she met you when you were so young in figures, like, you would have told her or something, like? Yeah, I kind of feel like maybe that's it.

I mean, I've been very, very lucky to have not gotten caught in that amount of time. Yeah, I was going to say, like, have you ever, because you had a lot of people from Craigs this but Craigslist went under a while ago, right? Yep. So, like, how have you been meeting the people that you've been cheating on her since? Like, have you ever been with any friends or any people that she knows? Or is it always, like, you know, random people that she would never know? Has it ever been someone from your work?

Well, I do, I travel a lot. And one of the apps that I ended up using a lot for some of my escapades was Grindr, which is a gay. Oh, right. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. and that that particular app it's very easy to hook up with another guy yeah for sure and being out of town it's people that I don't know complete strangers so it's easy enough to basically one and done and you know move on to the next so yeah and you're like I mean you say

you're you just do this like maybe once a year I mean it's not like you're compulsive right it's not a compulsion right it's not like you can't get you're just you're just do this like maybe once a year I mean it's not like you can't get your fill, right? I mean... Yeah, I feel like it just to the point where I'm like, man, I really, it's been so long since I, you know, had a cock in my mouth or been so long since I was able to bottom, you know, it really, you know, my wife isn't going to top me. Right.

So I, you know, you get that craving and then I feel like I go out, I get it satisfied, and then I'm good for another six months to a year or whatever it be. Right, right. So it's not really like something that you can't deal. with or anything. But if so, if you could, I mean, it's not like it's a problem or an issue. It's that if you could do it with your wife or express it in some way, right? You wouldn't be cheating on her. Absolutely. But wait, like when you say you want to come clean with her, what would, what do you think you want to tell her more than that you're by? So that that's probably going to come into the last part of

what we talk about. I'm a very, I just recently discovered that I'm very submissive. And I've been part of the, the fetlife.com website. And on that, I never really hooked up with anyone on that page, but I do, like, I get into voyeurism. I like to take pictures of myself and post it on there and get people's feedback. I'm really into people commenting on, you know, oh, your cocks really nice, so you've got a nice body and stuff like that.

And then I ended up finding a dominatrix on there. A woman. Yes. And basically, after speaking with her and becoming vetted through her, we finally met up. And I had my first real dominatrix submissive experience. And that's a completely different world. Like, out of all the things that I've done or fantasized about, I've never had anything that was so intense as that was.

Really? Like, I mean, this just happened like within the last three weeks. Like, this has been one of the most intense experiences I've ever had. The sub thing. What happens? I mean, and you didn't know? I mean, I'm assuming that this is like all the other kinks that you got into. You kind of like stumbled into it.

It's not like you went in knowing that this was something that you wanted. I've always been kind of curious about like, you know, whips and restraints and, like, leather straps and being gagged and blindfolded. I've always, it's always been, like, it's appealed to me. Yeah. I didn't know that there was like a whole lifestyle gear towards it. Yeah. And then when I finally did kind of take the plunge and, experience it, there's, there's so many more levels to being a submissive than just going over

and having sex and having an orgasm and calling it a night. There's, there's way more to it. Yeah, there's a lot of writing. I've heard from people that tell me there's a lot of homework, there's a lot of communication, there's a lot of, there's a lot of other stuff that has nothing to do with sex. Absolutely. Right? Yep. There's, there's a, like I said, there's a whole vetting process. There's safe words. There's behaviors that is expected of you.

There's, I mean, it's tough to explain why it was so hot for me, but I just, I guess the biggest thing for me was just letting go of the control and having a really hot, really powerful woman basically take control of every aspect

of what was going to happen next. It was just a super, super Super hot turn on for me. Right. And all that other stuff, right, that has, I said, has nothing to do with sex. But it does because that's all the buildup to it, right? Correct. Now, I mean, that's the kind of shit that can get you caught.

Because with all that communicating, because you have to do a lot of communicating with your DOM, right? If you're a sub, like, there is a relationship, quote, unquote, there, right? Oh, yeah. You know, thank God you travel a lot because, you know, all this shit. Like, where is all this stuff? I'm assuming like, you know, because your phone travels with you. Like, I mean, it's not like on a computer that if she hacked into your stuff or by accident, something popped up because you have a fat life account, you know, you're talking to this dom. Like, where do you keep all this stuff?

How do you keep it secret? Yeah. I mean, if I continue down that path and I want to keep it a secret, it's going to be damn near impossible. I mean, I, the one night that I did. did go and finally take the plunge and do this. I came home with marks and bruises. Oh yeah. Why didn't I think of that? And what the, that's so bad. And how do you hide it? Well, I'm in, I'm in construction. So my, and I tell you what, my wife saw the marks within maybe 40 minutes of me being home. Yeah. And I just basically told her, I said, oh, you know, I was working and I was in a really tight, tight, tight

space and a crawl space and there was lots of choice and stuff I had a call in and I just got kind of and she she got it which I felt bad for the line but it definitely covered my ass yeah because I think the last thing somebody would ever think and now I think feel like there's people that are like listening to your story and they're like hmm my partner once came home with bruises you know what I mean and I never would have thought they just were in a dungeon with somebody getting the shit If you have bruises all over the front of you and all over your backside and on your legs, chances are there was some sort of dominatrix or dom type thing going on. Oh my God, but it's so funny that like how I always say like when you're horny, you're like,

it's like being drunk. You just have no, you're just not thinking properly because who is going to think that you could have all those bruises and then you're going to go home to your wife? Yeah. Yeah, it was. I think out of all the times that have ever done anything behind her back, this one made me feel the most guilty. Right. For sure.

But you don't want to, like, it's what you're really into. Now, how does that come, like, how does that fit into coming clean? That one, I don't, I don't know. I mean, if, I know, like, so my wife really likes tattoos, and she's into, like, she gets the high from, like, getting tattoos and the pain thing. Mm-hmm. And I feel like maybe if I. I told her I was into BDSM type things.

Yeah, you could get into that with her. Correct. Yeah, for sure. But obviously, I wouldn't be able to bring the newly found Dom that I found on the that would not. You cannot. No, you can't. I don't know.

I mean, I just get nervous of what you want to come clean with because. Yeah, I think so I do. I mean, I want to just, I just have this weight. And I have been, you know, slowly kind of pecking away at like my fantasies, the hot wife thing and, you know, wanting a cock in my ass, stuff like that has slowly coming out. But there's just so much more that I want to tell her. But when I tell her these things, she, you know, she's especially about like the hot wife thing. I don't know if I mentioned this, but she was actually pretty upset when she finally said, no, I'm not going to do it. You know, she, she was very clear that that was not going to be part of our lifestyle.

And was she upset with that the fact that you wanted it? She's, I think she's afraid that I'm going to follow in love with somebody else or that, you know, she doesn't want to, she doesn't want to share me. Like, I'm, you know, we're married and, you know, I'm, I'm hers and she's mine. And that's just the way it should be. And she's not religious, but she just has very old-fashioned values, I guess. Yeah, which a lot of people would. feel that way, right? Like that, you know, I feel like most people would feel like, oh, you know, you're with me, you're my partner. I don't want you to be with anyone else. And I don't want

you to want me to be with somebody else. You know what I mean? I think sometimes a woman could also, or a man could see it that way. Like, that's why I ask, like, does she feel like, because you want her to be with another guy while you watch, right? Oh, yeah, absolutely. Right. Yeah. Now, and she just, she wants just it to just be you and her. I mean, this is like a problem. Because you can't, you can't, you never want to tell her about the cheating stuff. You don't. But you want to stop cheating, right? But you don't want to stop having experiences, right?

So what you really want right now is to sort of be able to live out your fantasies with her. Yeah. And I feel like, I mean, we kind of talked about this. I don't cheat so often that it's like a problem for me. Right. Yeah. I feel like I could, I could stop. And then those, those, you know, urges or whatever would go away.

as long as my wife was, you know, taking care of me in other areas. Like, exploring more. Right. If she would peg you or you guys could really come, you could come, right? Like that you could live out these fantasies with her, right? Or you could do the hot wiping where there's a guy in the room and then you could watch, you know, like, right? I mean, that's how you would sort of satisfy the bisexual part of you. Yep, yep. Right.

And then you wouldn't have to. Yeah, because like I think some people, there's all different kinds of cheating, right? And some people, it is a compulsion. and there's more behind it, right? They like the chase and they like someone liking them. Like for you, it really is just sort of scratching that itch that comes out every now and then, right? Yeah, and I feel like I don't know if it's just because I started so late and then I just was stuck with one person and I just, I had missed all that opportunity to like explore. Yeah, for sure.

Yeah, for sure. And that's why it's all coming out. I mean, like, you know, you've been sort of, you know, it's like, you know, it's like the, the guy that or the person that's like having they would say having the cake and eating it too you've been having like a you know the sort of white picket fence

life as well as like the single life which is exploring all that stuff right and that is the problem I think younger people are different now and they tend to be a little bit more realistic about stuff and they're just more open and honest about who they are and what they're into so I think people

younger people are being able to explore within relationships more right but for you you because you guys are older and more around my generation like that wasn't the case right so you if you you couldn't really have both right it was so or else you had to like put off having kids and getting married right but that's just happened to you so you've been sort of living a double life for a while absolutely and you don't want to anymore that's really where you're at right yeah i mean even the whole the the damn thing yeah i you know i know that doing that was a

a great way to satisfy an urge. Yeah. And I'm still in contact with her. I mean, we're still talking, but like, I feel like I, maybe that just, and I even talk to a couple friends about this, but that's just going to get me in trouble.

Like, this is going to be the one that ends up ruining my marriage, and I don't want that. Yeah, because those are very, that's a relationship. The Dom's up. It's like a relationship, right? You have to have a relationship for it to be what it is, right? It's like the nature of the king.

right the relationship part of it is part is a huge part of it it's not like you're just and that's what I learned that was interesting to me right on my show because I've never been into that but I in my idea would be like oh someone likes pain and like while they're being fucked right like it just it's just about sex right but it's so much yeah there's way more and the big part of it that is way more is what you might not have time for if you really are like you know you're married man with kids and you have a wife, right? It's like because it could take your attention someplace else. Yeah.

She actually asked me to go out with her this Friday and I turned her down because it's just too much and too soon. Like, yeah. Yeah, you can't. And I don't know, you know, if any time in the near future you'd be at the place where your wife would let you go do that with the diamond matrix. But I think the great idea that you thought of is getting your wife into that, bringing what you learned from this girl, and I say in the past tense, because hopefully you're not going to

be going back there, right? But taking what you learned and that experience there and bringing it into your marriage, you know? And then, and while you're doing that, because, listen, because that was like the hottest experience you had, if you could just focus on that with your wife and everything and you started to be able to get her to play in that arena, like you would be having like the best time, you probably wouldn't need to go and stray or do. You'd be. You'd be able to go and stray or you hot wiping or anything for a while, right? And then you could work on her with the other stuff, right? Once you opened her up to this.

There is kind of a tough twist to that, though. Yeah. So obviously I'm submissive. And so then the question is, where does she fit into this? Right. I feel like she is also kind of submissiveness. I know when you said she likes the pain. So that means that I would have to find ways to be more dominant, which I'm not sure if

I'm capable of doing. I'm more than willing to try with her, but I don't know how well I'd be able to fit into that role. I get that you think she's a submissive because of like the pain that she likes, right? With the tattoos and stuff is what are the other signs that she would be the sub, do you think? Well, I mean, because I'm always one initiating, I'm always the one kind of taking control in the bedroom. Like I'm, I'm the one that says, you know, I'd like you to, you know, go on your stomach or let's do doggy. style or reverse call girl or whatever position. Like, I'm always initiating the changes in the sex that we have.

So, and even, like, bringing toys in, like, we have a sex swing that we've tried out. And it's not going to get used unless I bring it up. And using toys like butt plugs and cock rings and just all that stuff is always been initiated by me. Right. And so I just feel like because I initiate that stuff, I'm more of the dominant when it comes to our relationship in the bedroom. Right, right, right.

But it's, but it is funny because, like, everything outside of the bedroom, she's 100% in control. Yeah, but that's what I normally hear is that people, that's the switch that I was saying, that a lot of times it's the opposite. It's of who they are in their regular life, right? Like, the guy who's really dominant in his regular life likes to be a sub, right?

So if she's taking care of business all the time, she wants to be the opposite. But you don't know, you'd have to maybe try it, out, right? Because you were so hot for being a sub, like you really need to be the sub in your situation. You know, that would be the biggest problem because I feel like the

greatest solution is if you could get your wife into the whole BDSM lifestyle. You know? Because that could take you into a deep hole, right, where there's just like a lot of stuff for you guys to explore

together. And that will help you you know, sort of not think about those other things that are there. And then maybe it could lead to other stuff. Yeah, and I think that would be like a huge way to spice things up. You know, get that routine kind of changed and then move our bedroom stuff into a totally different direction that might kind of reignite a spark that's been missing for a while. Yeah, you should never tell her about any of the things that you've done behind your back.

You know that, right? Like, I don't have to tell you that, right? I feel like I've just kind of, so all the couple of the couple of, other people that I've talked to about this. Yeah. Really close friends. Yeah. That's exactly what they said.

Like, you know what? Just get out. You got it out of your system. Good for you. Move on. You could never tell her about all that stuff. None of that. None of it will help you.

If you want to stop cheating, like, you know, and I think sometimes people do sort of tell people stuff because they feel like they have to get the weight off their back. But I feel like that's kind of selfish, right? Because what are you putting on the other person and what does that serve them, you know? This is something that you, if you want to stop and you are done with it, you know,

you have to sort of get to that place of like letting go of that baggage, sort of forgiving yourself or, I don't know, going through the emotional sort of feelings about it yourself. You could do all that within yourself and release that yourself. She doesn't need to do that for you. That's something that you're carrying for yourself. If that's a guilt, whatever that is. It's your own fucking baggage. telling her will maybe feel like you have something off your back

if you told her all that stuff, but it would create such bad shit in your life. It's just, it's so twisted. It's not the right thing to do. And I don't know what a real therapist would say, but I don't think that it's right. I always find that when somebody tells somebody because they feel so guilty or they have to get that.

I think it's like selfish because what does that serve the other person? You know, and if you have some guilt and some bad feelings, feelings about it. That's your fucking problem. You've also had the pleasure, right? So deal with the bad stuff, right? I mean, she doesn't, she doesn't need to have any of that since it's not about her, right? It's, you haven't been cheating on her because you don't love her. You haven't been cheating on her because, because I've had other, there's all different kinds of cheating, right? I say that on my podcast all the time. There's guys that hate their fucking wives and, you know, and that's why they're cheating, right? Like, you don't, it's not because of issues with your wife.

It's strictly because there are certain things that you were into that you found out that you're into that she can't give to you and that you weren't ready to be open with her, right? About, so, you know, there's no reason to tell her about that. But if you want to start, you have to stop doing it now and make a decision that you're not going to anymore. That will make you feel better if you just avoid the urge and you don't do it anymore. But you have to try to get her into exploring different things in your relationship. and you have to find out why she's not having orgasms and why she doesn't care about it. Is she a little depressed?

Is she on anything that maybe is making that happen? Because that's, you know, is she having orgasms when she's not with you? Yeah, you know, you're making lots of good points. And I wonder if just like bringing up some of the hot-lifing stuff has made her kind of thinking about stuff a little bit more. And, you know, has her non-orgasms?

Yeah, if her non-orogasms. Orgasms been since all this talk about you being wanting a dick up your ass and not you want to. Absolutely. What's that? What do you think? Oh my God. Why didn't I think of that first? Come on.

She's in her head. She especially because, listen, everything that you talked about is all about like what you like sexually. And all of a sudden you opened up a can of worms telling her that there's all this other stuff that has nothing to do with her that you want to do. that turns you on. So that is going to mind fuck her. It's going to be hard for her to get past it and enjoy sex with you because, you know, she's in a really weird place, right? She's kind of backed into, and now I'm not saying what you did was wrong, right?

You're trying to clear the deck here and be honest in your relationship for the first time. And I think that that is a good place to start. But it's not the fucking movies. And it doesn't like, you don't tell someone something. And then they're like, great. And then everyone lives happily ever after, right? It's going to take some time, right? You're two weeks out of telling your wife stuff, right?

And this is like how it really happens in real life. She's fucking freaked out. Yeah, and I'm sure there's a million different things going through her head. Of course. Or like, this is. What is he like? I'm not enough. He's like he's going down to me right now.

But does he wish I had a dick? Like, you know, she, it's so it's very hard for her. For women, they have to really not be in their head and just be in their body for sex to have orgasms. So she is just, you know, it's all this new information that she has. And that's so, you know,

that's why she's having the problems. It's not because. Really fucked up part too is like I feel I'm trying to bring this stuff out for her benefit. Like so she can get more ass and she can find more ways to have orgasms

and more ways to have fun. Right, but you said that everything was fine before. That might be projecting that like she wants all that stuff. And listen, maybe if you really opened her up and got her, like maybe if we were talking if I was talking to her secretly, she would

say maybe that was her fantasy, but maybe not. Yeah. Maybe she's fine with just you. You know, like you know, I don't know. I mean, you know her. Do you think that she, because we already figured out why she's having problems, having sex with you.

Yeah, there's been a couple times where she's maybe hinted before I wasn't ready, and that kind of sucks. In my way? So on Facebook, she had an old friend that she used to babysit for that is now all grown up and has come to her and said, hey, you know, you want to get together and not necessarily let's get together and fuck, but let's get together and have, you know, dinner and, you know, meet up and talk about stuff. blah, blah, blah. And my wife knew what he was after. Yeah. And asked me, like, hey, do you, what do you think about this? And at the time, this is probably five, six years ago, I wasn't into it. Right. And now I feel like, you know, crap. You know, why weren't we on the same, you know, the same wavelength when she was asking me and stuff? Because that might have been my one

opportunity now out the window and now she's. Right. Well, it might be because, right, but maybe it's because you just gave her a lot of stuff. You just like, you know, I want you to fuck other guys. I want to, like I said, like, that's a lot to handle. She asked you if you were gay, right, when she, when you told her. She's kind of feeling me out and wants to know exactly what's going on. So she's asking, and I think she's asking the right questions. Right.

You know. Right. But she still hasn't really been able to figure out, like, you know, it sounds like she's asking the right questions, but I feel like she's not really. addressing it head on because she's a little freaked out, which I totally understand. She's not. Do you know what I mean? Because, and I think

because she might not want to know the truth. She might be afraid of like what the answer to some questions would be, which I totally get, do you know what I mean? But I think maybe you need to explain more what that means

between you and her. Do you know what I mean? And what you want with her, like, you know, we could do stuff together that would, you know, I don't need to be with a guy. I don't know. Like, you know, you have to have more conversations about it. And I think you have to talk more about it with her because I don't think she's. Yeah.

And it's funny because, like, I have such a broad spectrum of things that turn me on and things that I like that I can do without a good majority of them as long as we're pursuing. certain aspects of what I want. You know what I mean? Like I don't need all of that. But I think you need to tell her that. Yeah. Have you? Other than telling her that I wanted to see her with another woman, another man,

and I want a cock in my ass, that's pretty much as far as it's ever gone. No, but yeah, you have to start having more, you have to start having more conversations with her about sex. Maybe not like while you're in the middle of having sex, right? That's not a good idea. Anybody listening, I don't think you should bring it up during the acts. No. You've ruined your sex life with her now for right now.

But like I said, I don't, I think that that's okay and that's very realistic because of what happened, you know. But I do think you, like, I always think it's like really great when somebody just like hits the ball a different way. Do you know what I mean? And changes the whole game, right? In the beginning, it seems to disrupt everything, right? and things are not so great. But ultimately, you know, if you guys are able to get to a better place, five years from now, you'll look back at, you know, this past month and everything that's been going down is like,

this is the pivotal time. You know, this was the turning point, you know? Yeah, well, finally I started talking about my feelings and maybe I can get her to open up about certain things and then things are just going to get better from that point out. Yeah, because, listen, she was a really young girl who, listen, she was doing all that cheating and stuff because she was just being a normal person that wanted to be with other people too, you know?

And she's been with the same person her whole fucking life, raise kids. She is going to her, into her prime. So you have that on your side as far as like her being like super horny and stuff that you maybe could talk her into the whole hot wiping thing, but I think that you have to work towards it and you need to have a lot more conversations with her

and explain things to her like that you're like really let her know that you're not gay that you'd like to do stuff with her that you want to make your guy's relationship hotter that you don't want to be with other people you know you have to give her some security yeah it's interesting too because since i since i brought up the hot wiping thing um almost immediately after she's been hitting like the treadmill a lot more and she's lost like 10 15 pounds in the last three four weeks oh that's good And I don't know if it's because she's like, oh, crap, like, I need to get shit because eventually my husband's going to leave me. Or she's like, you know what?

If I get in better shit, maybe I'll feel better about myself and we could try this thing. Exactly. It could be. So there's a couple different things that have been going through my head. But either way, it's benefiting me because it's super hot that she's, like, starting to kind of come around. And that will make her feel better about herself and her body and be more sexy. like, you know what I mean? For sure.

Because if you don't feel right about your body as a woman, you know. So I think that that's like, that's what I mean when like it's like things get worse, but they get better too. Like there's what you did is a great thing and will help your relationship in the long run. As long as you never tell her that you cheated. As long as you stop cheating. Which I feel like I'm going to do. You have to make a decision.

If you want to, you know, really, like you said, you're at like a crossroads. If you really want to do this and do it the right way, you have to put all that secret shit. It has to be done. But you have to give it time with your wife. Do you understand? You know, you need to give it a year. Like, you need to give it some time before she's going to open up to things. But I think you need to keep all your desires and all your kinks and all the things that you're into.

just with her and be more honest about it with her. And, you know, and hopefully she will do more things with you. And you have to stop looking elsewhere if that's what you want. You know what I mean? Yeah. Because you're not happy anymore with the status quo, right, the way that it was. Yeah. No, I absolutely couldn't have said it better to myself.

I think you've hit a lot of really good points. Yeah. And then when you listen back to this podcast and you hear it again, and you'll get more out of it. I can't wait to see what happens. Because this is like literally you're like two weeks, three weeks away from dumping all this stuff on her. Like, where are you guys going to be in six months?

I wonder. I mean, you know what I mean? I really do. I think it's kind of exciting. I think you, like I said, I think you like change the game. And I'm curious of what happens. I think you should give her a little time with the orgasms.

Don't pressure her, you know, but have more conversation so that she, she could get out of her head a little bit and make her feel more comfortable with talking to you. And give her assurance that you're not gay, you're not leaving her for man. Maybe make her feel like, I mean, would you feel comfortable with like, because you're just into the hot wife thing? That doesn't mean that you want to go fuck women, right? Like, can you maybe in the beginning have a bee that you just want to see her with other guys

and maybe you don't need to be with other girls? Absolutely. I think that would be super hot and I would be 100% okay with that. Yeah. I mean, I feel like you need to take So I think like maybe if you Told her that that would make her feel better You know?

Like for sure. Maybe she, the thought of you With another girl is not What she's into but for you Her with another guy is hot because you already know You're by you know maybe she's not And she doesn't want to see with the other girl And that really fucks with her head Which I know that when the hot wife in conversation came up

She did ask me like if I wanted to sleep with other women And I did tell her that that was not what I was at seeking. Like I just wanted to see her with another guy. Yeah. Didn't really get so much of a response, but I think maybe I did reassure in the fact that I'm not looking to like. Yeah. Make sure you let her know that you don't want to sleep around with other women. Make sure she knows that you're not gay.

Make sure she knows that you just want to start, you know, changing things up with her and being more open about things that you're into. You maybe tell her like I was looking around this website. and I was into BDSM and like I really like that and there's this thing called FetLife. Like, you know, tell her these things. You guys been together forever, right? I mean, you could be open with her. She knows all the other, like, you know, letting her know that you wanted a dick in your ass and that your buy is pretty ballsy, right?

So maybe tell her that you found this FetLife website and expose her to it. I feel like if I go that road, I'm going to probably have to delete my account. You do. Yes. You cannot. Yes, of course. I wasn't going to say, like, please don't show her your thing. But let her know that you maybe found that.

And then you guys could go looking together. And maybe as a couple you could make a, you know, and you do that stuff together. That's what you have to do. And I think in six months you might have some new things going on in your relationship. It just, it just happened. You have to give her some time. Yeah. I'm actually, I really like some of those ideas and I'm excited to try it.

To do it. And don't cheat. Give it a year. Give it a year. No cheating and only working on sort of living out these fantasies with your wife and getting her to do to open up too. Yeah. I kind of work on my marriage. Like you said. Yeah, work on your marriage and your sex life with her and see if you could keep it all together and that you don't have to keep living a double life. Oh, well, thank you very much. I really do appreciate the advice on that. A lot of that really does kind of help me kind of sort some of the stuff that's been going through my head. really do appreciate that. Yeah, no problem. Thanks for calling in. I give you credit for what you did. I think it's amazing. And I hope that in six months I hear from you or three months or whenever,

let me know that like you guys have gone in a positive direction because of this. Absolutely. I'll definitely give you an update as soon as something happens. All right, cool. Keep me posted. Good luck with everything. Bye, Sean. Okay. Thank you. Bye. Okay. I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers is now available not only in paperback and e-book

but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about

on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang-bang girl story. Like I said, 17 stories, and they're all told in the third person, and they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person, and I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. 17 of them.

They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, one or two, and then skis. up around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format, and finally, the audio book is available coming out August 25th, but you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint, okay? There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me, okay? I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other, and that's what you get to do there. You can post your own pictures and videos.

There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total, strictly anonymous community, and you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord. It's private, like I said. All you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook, or the paperback.

sent it to me at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. That's Strictly Anonymous Podcasts at gmail.com. And I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in. This is the Strictly Anonymous podcast.