Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 321 - Kevin has a Secret Life as a Cross Dresser

Episode Date: February 3, 2020

Kevin is married to a super open, very sexual woman who he swings with but for some reason he hasn't ever told her that he likes to cross dress and hook up with older guys. When did he first start cross dressing and how has he kept it a secret for so long? When did he start hooking up with guys and what does he like to do with them? How can he tell his wife about it and what are the odds that she’ll accept it? Tune in to find out plus hear all about how him and his wife started swinging, how they got into gang bangs and where they take place, how and why they started a twitter account feature videos of them having sex, how their family feels about their exhibitionist twitter account and a whole lot more. **To see anonymous pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the strictly anonymous podcast. Strictly anonymous podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. The Craigslist is definitely like the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Singapore or Thailand. You can't not do it.

The temptation is just too much. Your friend know that you're banging her or no? No, he has no idea. And anything goes. The motto of the show, let your freak flag fly. Probably the only good advice I'll ever give you is to rehire. your whips and chain. Here is your host, Kathy. Hey, welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast with Kathy. If you want to follow the strictly

anonymous podcast on Instagram or Twitter, follow the show at Strict Anonymous. If you want to be on the show, calling and by show where I really like to give people advice, but most people just call them to talk about their naughty lives and their secret lives. But I also, like I said, like to give advice. So some people call in because they have, they want advice about their naughty secret life. So if you fall into any of those categories, you want to be on the show, send me an email it's strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com.

If you want to talk to me and spill the beans on your secret life or naughty life or get some advice, but you don't want me to ever air the episode. You just want to talk to me flat out, like really on the DL. I do that too now for people and I really enjoy it, but there's a fee for that.

So if you want to do that, you could also send me an email. It's strictly not on his podcast at jemal. or go to my website, strictly anonymouspodcast.com, and click on Be on the Show. Today I have a guy named Kevin, okay? Kevin is very similar to another guy that I had on recently, and I totally got them too confused because there were similarities, but there's differences too. Kevin's married, and the crazy thing about Kevin is, I'm sure you see it in like the title

and the description. He likes to cross-dress, right? And he does this really on the DL behind his wife's back. But it's not like he's married to like a very vanilla woman. I mean, you won't believe the stuff that him and his wife do. I mean, if he didn't even have the secret life cross-dressing thing, the story about him and his wife and what they do together and sort of out there on the web would be interesting enough.

And so it's like kind of weird because you're like, why does he have a secret life from this woman who is so open and down for so many other things? some of the things she's down with is she, like, has been gang-banged at theaters, you know, those adult theaters. She, uh, him and they both do a Twitter feed where they really put themselves, like, in sexual positions and videos. Like, they have sex. I mean, I don't know why I'm not getting to the point. They like to have sex online on videos and they post them on Twitter with their face. You won't even believe this story. Like that's all. Like I said, if he didn't even, if he didn't crush, you'd be like all these other things that he talks about are interesting because the fact that they

put their face in the Twitter is interesting and I ask them about that and his explanation about why they do is interesting because you really realize they come from a really open sort of situation between each other as well as an open situation all around them so you're like why the fuck is this guy keeping this cross-dressing a secret but he explains why we talk about what he does I mean it's not like he's just cross-dressed behind her back he's hooked up with guys but he's not the type of guy that's like looking to hook up with guys as a guy. He likes hooking up with guys as a girl. I've heard that one before too. So he explains that. So anyway, I'm just going to be back right back on. But he's wait. But the last thing I'm going to say is he is looking for advice because he does want to get to

the point where he tells her. And since I taped this podcast, he has had some updates on what has gone on. So I'm sure I'll be talking him again sometime soon and I'll give you the update. But for now, listen to his story. I'll be right back on with Kevin. You wrote in, you know, I would have never guessed before I started doing my show that this was a very common thing. But I feel like one of the most common calls I get about guys is I married and I'm like secretly hook up with guys every now and then be how my wife's back. And the other really common thing and you said in your email too is like I'm not attracted to guys at all. But you do have this thing that I have heard before. It's very specific and different.

had someone on recently who talked about this whole thing. I'm sure you heard that episode. Maybe that's how you found my podcast. I don't know. But it was like new to me. I have heard a few that, you know, with guys that are either cross dressers or buy.

Yeah, but they have that thing where it's like, it's not like you like to hook up with a guy as a guy. It's like you, the hooking up with the guy for you is, is about you feeling like a woman and being like a job. as a woman, right? It's not about being with a guy as a guy. And I had that, I had a guy on recently who really explained this whole concept in depth. And I got a lot of emails afterwards from guys saying,

hey, I'm the same way. You know, and it was very new to me. So, and that's like your deal, right? You have a pretty open relationship with your wife, right? We'll get into that kind of, that stuff. You do, you guys do a lot of stuff together. You've done some swinging, right? Oh, yeah. Everything's really good. good on that front, but you have this secret, this whole thing that you do, sometimes hook up with guys, the whole cross-dressing thing. It's a secret that you have in a secret life that you keep. How long you've been married to your wife for?

We've been married about two years, but we've been together for seven years. For seven years. How old are you? Yeah. I am 44. You're four. Yeah, she's 38. Okay, cool.

Now, when did you, I mean, so you've only been with your wife for seven years, right? So like when did the whole guy, like or in cross-dressing thing start for you? How long? Was it way before your wife came in the picture? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I would say sometime in my adolescence, I would dip into my mom's panty drawer. And slowly, I don't even remember how, but I don't know like, well, if you want to go

even further back. I remember like a few years old looking at the Sears catalog. Uh-huh. The bra section and like really enjoying it. But it wasn't about seeing the tits. It was about seeing the bras and you'd like wanting to wear them yourself. Yeah. Well, it was, it was seeing the lacy undergarments.

Just how normal it was. I think that may have been the first element of like, whoa. So then maybe around, I don't even know, sometimes very young. And we dip into my mom's panty drawer. Uh-huh. Oh, my God. as a mom to a son. I feel so terrible.

Sorry, Mom. See, I have a very active imagination. So I would never like, you know, put on her panties. Like, you know, when you're looking down, you know, especially at that age, it kind of could be a girl or a boy. You know what I'm saying? It's tough to. Right, right, right. So I think that's how I got into that as a thing.

Very young. I remember at 13. after I had been able to masturbate. I remember being home alone, and I found she had like this lingerie, and I put the whole fucking thing on. I was so aroused. I remember I was in the kitchen,

and I like just like, I didn't drop to the ground, but like I laid down on the floor in the kitchen. and like, you know, spread my legs kind of wide and, like, just rubbed one out. Mm-hmm. Feeling like a female. So, oh, boy. I would say that was definitely the beginning of not an obsession, but a hobby. Right.

I mean, that's when you realized that you were totally into that and you were experimenting with that on your own from then on, right? Oh, yeah. it came up later in life. It was always a constant every once in a while. I always had girlfriends. I never had a problem getting girls until about in my 20s when I kind of like got into drugs and yada, yada, yada kind of had found myself, you know, without my friends and without anyone. And I think I sought comfort in that. That's when you went back to it, meaning you had it done it in her.

I took it to a new level. I started like, I was in my 20s. I started dressing in front of a mirror and masturbating. One time I actually went out of the house, dressed up. I totally regret this because I was very drunk. I was totally opposed to driving drunk. But I went to like a gas station. There was like an old guy there and I got out and like,

I don't even remember what happened, but I could tell. tell, like, I'm not sure he knew I was not a girl. Yeah. It just, it got me so turned on the idea of turning on this guy. Right. And it took a while to figure out, like, what it all means. Because, I mean, I can save you at 44. I don't believe I'm gay or even by.

Right. Might be crazy, but because, I mean, I have done things with guys. But you do them as a woman, right? And I totally understand. this now after that call that I had with a guy. It was recently. It was like in the past couple months, right? And it was, I feel like the first call I've had in the five years I've been doing my show where it was really, we just spoke all about that, you know? And it was really eye-opening for me to really hear him explain it. So I understand where you're coming from more, a lot more now

because of having, you know, listen to that. Talk to that guy. A lot of things. A lot of people don't understand, like, you know, what it's about because the look of it, the visual, you know, seeing a dude. You didn't even know what it was about. It was hard for you to figure it out, right? And I'm, right? Oh, yeah. Because you must wonder, are, am I gay, am I not?

And I'm assuming that maybe being with a guy helps you sort of figure it out in a weird way, right? Because then you start to realize, okay, I like, I'm with this guy. I need to be a woman, right? Like, have there ever been times where, like, you were with a guy and it was, maybe you weren't as a woman or something happened that made you realize that you wouldn't like it as a man? Do you know what I'm saying? I used to go to, like, a nude beach.

I was kind of like a gay, you know, like predominantly gay area. Yeah, the one in New Jersey. I mean, oh, I shouldn't say that. Yeah, well, I don't take that out. There's also like a sort of a secret one, like way, way down south Jersey. Okay. But I think that was where I really figured out what I like.

And what I like is to, and you had a guy on that he just likes to strip for older men. Uh-huh. Yeah, he was a young guy. Yeah. The younger guy likes to strip for older or the better. Yeah. I think that was the kind of nailed what I feel. Like, I just love.

exhibitionist, but I don't really see myself being that appealing to women. I'm not like a worst looking guy, but I mean, I got, you know, I'm like overweight. I'm like a lot of older guys. Yeah, right. I mean, and my wife and I, we put like videos out on the internet and people love. We are, we're both big people and people, you know, enjoy us. So I get my exhibitionist's still that way these days, but I noticed that. I was most definitely, you know, an exhibitionist. And that's like the essence of being an exhibitionist is doing this for someone that is looking at you. Like, they just want to get their hands on you so bad.

Right. And let me ask you this. Do you like to undress as a woman for men for men or do you even like to be like undressed as a man for a man? Okay. It's definitely, as a woman, I would much, much prefer. Okay. You know, down myself up like a girl, do a little strip tease. Maybe he masturbates.

Maybe I masturbate. That would be the ideal situation. Things in my life didn't quite go that way. I tried some gay stuff. Uh-huh. I can't lie. I mean, I have tried like I've sucked a dick. Right.

Well, that's what I mean. Like, did those experiences help you? sort of realize like, oh, that's not really my thing. I'm much more into it in this way. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, because especially because I don't know, like, if you ever had an experience where you do something with someone and then when you think about it, like, immediately after, like, you want to like puke.

Is that what happened to you when you had guy on guy action? I don't know if girls, I guess maybe that's just the life of a girl, but I honestly can tell you afterwards, you know, it's one thing to do something and afterwards you feel guilty. Right. This was like I really wanted to throw up. And this is what one of your like gay experiences? Yeah, it's one of my gay encounters. I had a whole period in my 20s and even my 30s where I had a both a bad relationship

and then just being single and, you know, like just not really, wasn't really able to hold down a job. I was kind of doing a lot of drugs. Right. You said you brought that up right. You were going through a bad phase. And this is when all this kind of. kind of stuff went down, right? Yes, and a really bad relationship.

With a woman. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I've never, like, dated a guy. It's all just been in the immediate, just want to get off. Right. And, you know, guys are pretty good for that. You can go to, like, a rest stop and, you know, stand up the urine or wait. Some guy will come up next to you and start looking at your dick.

Right. It's that easy for a guy. Yeah, no, I know. The stuff that goes on with, like, the guy. on guy action, like if it happened between men and women, I always say it would be like, you know, a cop would be involved if that shit went down

with a guy with a girl. You know what I mean? The stuff that goes down with guys and guys, you know, like it's just a totally different scene and it's a lot easier. That's why I always tell a lot of my straight friends who are so horny for chicks. Like, you would be a lot happier if you were gay. Because you could just get down and do

so much more with men, you know? Yeah, for real. And as soon as you bust that nut, both parties turn and just walk away. Exactly. No one's wondering if there's going to be a text. No one gives a shit, right? Yeah.

It's a lot easier, right? It's a lot easier. And, you know, I wish I was gay. I wish I was the gayest gay guy in all the end. But let me ask you this. Okay, so you're in your 20s now. No, 44. No, no, I'm talking like I'm sticking to the story.

So like you're in your 20s and you're going through like this sort of drug phase and you're you're acting out right and is this when you have your first experience with guys it was so you started to go out as a woman you said that time and you realized that you were attracted what were your first experiences with a guy

and like where do you find them was it like a Craigslist hook up or was it at the nude beach yeah this would have been the nude beach I kind of got into this weird little scene oh yeah no I went to a nude beach with a boyfriend once It was a whole nudie world. Yeah, right.

It really is. It's a different kind of a vibe when everyone's naked. Yeah, totally. And everyone's like they have nudie vacations and nudie boat parties and nudie there. It was like a whole world that you could just like get sucked into that's so like sort of not a part of the regular world, right? Yeah, right. Yeah. And I found much comfort.

Right. In fact, that summer I got so tan. I'm Italian. I got so tan with my brother when he saw me, he was cracking up. He couldn't believe how tan I got. Because you were like obsessed with going to the new beach. Yeah, I guess he was going to that beach all the time. Yeah.

Right. And I guess that would have been where that, you know, was cultivated. And then where it really came to a head, this really old guy, I would dress up for him. And he would come over and I would do a little strip tease. And he would then, you know, suck me, lick my ass. And then his thing was to come on my cock and then eat his own cum off of my cock. Yeah, you said that in your email.

Like you really did the wisdom to that, right? It was like, wow. I mean, this was a very, this guy must have been 70. Yeah, there's nothing dirtier than all that shit that you just said. There's probably so many guys like that they just got hard listening to that little scenario. I would imagine so. I would like me too.

And, you know, for me. At first, it was a shocker. And, you know, I always felt guilty afterwards. But, you know, I did call the guy up again. And I'd be on five or six occasions, you know, I would do that. Why don't you think the older, the better? Do you think that it makes you feel more like a woman, like in that just a supposed position? Like, what is that about?

I think it does. I think it's the, his wrinkly skin versus my relatively smooth skin. skin. Right. Then there's the factor of like these old guys are just super horny. There's a lot more, uh, you know, I remember one guy said like, it's hard to do that because you feel like it's just you're hanging with one of your friends. Yeah.

Whereas like an older guy, especially when you know he's super turned on by your appearance and especially if he's turned on by my appearance in a dress. Yeah. So, I mean, I would put on songs, paintings. I had a collection I built up over the years of thongs and panties and this and that. And it was just this thing that I would do, you know, and it was pretty much harmless until now. I have, you know, I found the love of my life. We have an incredible relationship.

We've been through like a ton of stuff in seven years. We've been together. And now, you know, I feel terrible saying that I, you know, and it's been, I've kept, I would say in a seven years, oh, yeah, maybe five times. Yeah, well, I'm saying cheated because it's involved in me and another man and there may have been touching. Right. So that's, yeah, that's cheating, obviously. Yeah, for sure. Not only that, I mean, the whole fact that you have this whole series.

secret life because you do do camming and stuff like that too where I'm sure you're the five times isn't including all that shit right uh no it does not include any camming right so you're also doing that and you're probably like maybe talking to some guy you know so there is a whole secret life that's sort of going on behind the love of your life back right yeah I hate to say now I have told her that I like to uh put on our panties sometimes okay that's a start that's good. You know, ever since I emailed you, it's kind of got me thinking like, too, maybe, you know, I should try to like at least, you know, because our whole thing with each other is that

we're completely honest. Like the other thing, when we started swinging last year, you know, when you're, when you swing and it's all about honesty and, uh, being open with each other. And trust. And trust. And we're both a jealous type. Like, we're not really hardcore swingers. We've done some of the things.

We've certainly earned the title of swingers, that's for sure. You're also putting out videos of you guys online. I know you mentioned that a little bit, but you didn't mention that in your email to me. I know you did a whole Twitter thing where you guys would film yourself and put it out there right for people to say. Oh, yeah, we do it almost on a daily basis. I would hire your... You still do it? We, oh, yeah, we are very active.

We are very active. And I'm assuming you do that under like a... Oh, yeah. completely anonymous. Do you want to give a shout out to your Twitter? I don't know. Or no. Well, see,

then, because see, this is like doubly anonymous because. Oh, you can't. On there, I'm daddy dumb. I'm the,

you know what I'm saying? I'm like, I'm a tattooed, you know, 44-year-old, badass motherfucker. Like, I,

I've got, like, tattooed myself. Like, I tattooed myself, and sometimes she'll be blowing me. And there's like a clip of that on our thing. Like,

so it, it's a complete, you know, it doesn't fit in with what we do there. You know what I hear you. Right, right. No. So somebody that's listening to this now that is interested in this, like the real truth might go there and be like, who the fuck is this guy?

Yeah, because, right, it doesn't fit with what I'm, like, what I'm, see, that is, this is like a doubly secretive because, you know what I'm saying? Like, we're anonymous on Twitter, but it's husband and wife sharing their sex. life for the work. Right, but they don't realize that that guy that looks like a manly man's man also likes to dress up and has this whole other thing, right? So if somebody's listening to this, they might go there and be like, it doesn't really fit, right? Because you're really revealing who you are now. No. And I, in my emails, I told you like the name. So you're welcome to look us up. No, I don't remember you telling me the name and I never would. I refuse. There's something. I know.

I know you know. No, it's not about not knowing. There's a, there's been a couple times. I would say I could count on my one hand how many times I've seen a picture of the person that I'm speaking to and it always happened by accident. And like I'm talking five years, 300 and something episodes and less than five times I've seen the person. But there's something about not seeing somebody, what they look like, anything about them that helps me be very like as non-judgmental unbiased all those words you could use you know what I mean

it really helps to if you keep all that out of it it's just much better for me to do what I do and so that's my rule across the board I don't have any curiosity to see my curiosity lies in all these questions I'm asking you about everything that you do in your life and seeing people takes away from that for me, right? So I never go looking. I don't like to see. One time recently, and this is counting on that one hand, one time recently I did go and look at the person because she put herself out there and I felt like she was full of

shit for what she said on my podcast. And I hated the fact that I got to see what she looked like because it sort of skewed the whole conversation. So I think it's been hard to see the people. Yeah, I totally understand. I mean, even, like, I don't know, like after we talk, if you are curious. No, I would never. No, I would never.

But wait, let's get back to the story. I'll probably get to cut all that out. Wait, so you do this thing with your wife. Let me ask you this. When you were with that bad relationship in your 20s, right, were you cheating on her behind her back with guys, too? I'm assuming maybe you were. Yeah, I was actually. Okay.

Yeah. Nobody, let me ask you this, besides all the people listening now, right? Does anybody besides you and all the people you hook up with on the download, does anybody that you know, know about this or is this a very secret life? No, nobody knows other than the people that I've hooked up with. So you've never gotten busted, even though you had the whole collection? That's why I'm trying to slowly tell my wife things, you know? Yeah.

I'm hoping to fully tell her everything. Maybe not every, everything, but. Well, you'll never tell her. You should never tell her that you've hooked up with guys while you've been with her. You can tell her before her, for sure. Yeah, I don't even think I would tell her that I suck the dick. I think I would only tell her that I enjoy cross-dressing. She's the kind of girl that would be cool enough to be like,

yeah, well, but you know, she likes men. That's it. She likes, you know what I'm saying? And she, I know for a fact, she is not by or anything like that. She likes men and she likes manly men. So she wouldn't want to see me, you know, anything but, you know, daddy dumb. Yeah, but you did let her know about the panty thing. I did.

And she was cool, right? You know, she actually was. I think she kind of can see it like a chippendale when they wear like the thongs. Yeah. Uh-huh. She did say, like, she wouldn't mind me, like, blowing a load, like, in her pants. And they're like black, you know, solid black thumb panties. So with your guys' relationship, you're always the Dom?

Yeah. Oh, my God. She is a total subgirl. Right. So. Yeah, I just had this conversation. I don't think I've aired it yet with somebody who or maybe I did. I don't know.

I have so many tapes. But like, and it was kind of the same thing where he was afraid to tell his wife because they have had this whole BDSM thing going on between them, but she's really into being the sub. So he's like, how could I let her know that I like to be the, you know what I mean? Like how does that, there's no way she's going to be into it, right?

Right. It's a tough thing because I know exactly how that guy feels just because, you know, once you have a role in your relationship, there's really no going back. And not only that, It's like, you know, that's what, I mean, I think you fall into the roles because it's what you're really into, right? And it's not like you're taking it on for the other person, right?

It really is like what each of you like. So it's very hard to switch. It's not like a preference, right? It's kind of like who you are. Well, I can say, like, I'm 90% dominant, 10% sub. Just like I'm 90% all men. And then I have like a 10% that's, you know, a little. questionable.

But so how do you know that she doesn't have a 10% that would want to like peg you? I've done a pretty good job feeling her out for any inkling of her being into like women or you know even wanting to be like a dominatrix and she might. But I think she just truly enjoys being dominated and I love dominating her. Right. I spoke her to the point of she would let me spank her until like it bruises. that kind of sub. She wants to be choked,

and the things we do on Twitter don't even go close to what we do outside of Twitter. The things we do on Twitter, I would say to anyone, like, you know, it's all consensual. But the things we do out of it, you would not know. We go pretty hard.

Now, when you're on Twitter, like, you obviously don't show your faces, right? Well, actually, we do. We just don't have our names. Yeah, but how do you not think that somebody that you guys have worked with or that lives in your neighborhood or that knows your brother or sister

or that knows your fucking kids is going to see you? How could you not think that that's going to happen eventually? We honestly don't mind that. We are both exhibitionists. We are both big peep. She's a BBW. I'm a big handsome man and I love

I'm like an advocate for BBWs. You know, like I always love big women. I don't know if that has anything to do with anything, but I've been a huge advocate for, you know, the big girls. It's not like being unhealthy or anything like that, but I've always like the big girls. Please, it's like one of the most popular porn out there. So obviously, a lot of people like it. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, nobody can resist a fat ass. I'm sorry, but that's how I feel. I dare anyone to. And people ask me all the time, how do you, you know,

how do you like last? How do you not just blow your load? Like, you know, because your wife is so, you know, plump and, uh, but, uh, I don't know. I'm trailing off here, but no, but I do love the big girls. Right. But I mean, you don't, so you don't care. So I guess like the whole cross-dressing thing is like a private life, but the swinging or the exhibitionist between you and your wife, like that side of you guys.

Like you're totally willing to put that out there. Do any of your friends know about it? Yeah. They actually, like I've told my brothers and sisters, friends. Yeah, we're kind of like an open, not open, but we're a very, like, understanding kind of family. No, that's cool. That's cool. That you guys are all open like that.

Yeah, I think my aunt, you know, my, I think she, my aunt and uncle swing. They're like in their 60s. We're kind of that family that's like just very open. And we know, we're all like big drinkers when we get together. We don't get together like that often. Yeah. But we're open enough that, you know, we actually did tell our family like, yeah, we started swinging. And, you know, they get a kick at it, especially that we're both like, you know, big people.

Yeah, no, that's great. I think that's great. We've been to a club in New York called Bowery Bliss. What is it called? Bowery Bliss. Dowery Bliss. Bowery, Bowery, like in the Bowery. Oh, Bowery.

Yeah, yeah. Bowery Bliss. I've been there a couple times. And, you know, my family, they get a kick at it. Because we're just, we're kind of a cute couple, like a plump, cute couple. Right. And so people know. So your family knows that you guys have your stuff out there on Twitter. Like, so that, that whole part of your life, you're fine with people knowing.

Oh, yeah. That's great. Yeah. Yeah, that's where I guess like sex positive would be, and body positive. Yeah, yeah. That's, that's cool. And so when you met your wife, right? And like, how did all this stuff?

Because you guys are really open with each other and you got into a lot of different things, right? Like was that straight off the bat or did you like ease into it? Like I know you said you've been together for seven years. You just started swinging recently? Yeah, we've, about a year ago, we started when I met her, we were, it was one of those, you know, whirlwind. romances, we got together, and we were just never separated. So, okay, then after maybe two months of getting together and the whirlwind, she got pregnant. Oh, wow.

So luckily, you know, it worked out well because, you know, we were in fact in love, thank God. Right. You decide to stay together. We stayed together. There was no thought of like let's not be together But it was like yeah Everything happened really quick We got together whirlwind bam pregnant

Bam baby And through all this we were great A couple things You know family things A couple tragedies She lost someone close And we kind of hit a low And I found myself

You know beating off too much. And I had heard somewhere about like, you know, practicing not wanking. Yeah. The practice of no wanks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just like totally denying yourself,

not allowing yourself. And saving all of it for your wife, basically. For married guys, it's a good idea. Interesting. And I, that was the beginning because that made me want to incorporate her into my, you know, corn, and fancy, yeah, like all that. So that's pretty much just what I did.

Like, first, we had some really weird experiences swinging. We had one, like, swap that was okay. Then we had this guy that I was sure he was trying to cut me and he just wanted my wife. And it turned out to be true. And the events leading up to all that, were a lot of drama and it was, you know, it was definitely not easy for me. Because you could tell that he was just trying to squeeze you out.

Oh, yeah. I could tell and, you know, we had one nice time and then, uh, see, when you're swinging, the last thing you want to do is if you have a threesome or, you know, the devil's threesome, two men on one, on my wife, you know, the last thing you want to do is have your wife, uh, have a kick, you know, a kick is. No. Or like Twitter, any kind of way to talk social media app. Yeah.

Where she could then the next day while she's just at work, iron, she can then talk to that guy. Is that what happened? That's what happened. That was a huge mistake. I just was ignorant. I didn't realize the way to do it. And any swinging couple would tell you that's not how you do it. You don't, you know, it's obvious now.

But at the time, I didn't want to be a jerk to her and say you can't have your. you know, thing. But it wound up where he became infatuated. She, you know, she's, we'll say, like, she never, you know, she never, you know, put him that way, but I don't know. I felt like she was kind of talking funny. Oh, wow, that must have been a real problem. It was tough.

It was really, really tough. And it ended with her telling this guy, we can never see you again and, you know, him being all upset about it, but it was almost traumatic. But maybe you guys learned a lot of lessons. And maybe that helped you create some boundaries with your swinging. For real. That was the huge thing is that the result was that we, you know, we got rid of all kick stuff and anything we do is anonymous.

Right. And you figured out the way to make it work with you guys. So that you wouldn't get it. it would get messy. Right. Because I'm sorry, to go back, the reason I wanted to kind of get into swinging wasn't because I wanted to bang on the girls. I wanted to double T my wife.

That was, you know, and it is my ultimate goal is to just maximize this girl's pleasure. She's a horny milk, you know, and I love to, you know, give her what she wants. Right. And I'm, you know what I'm saying? But let me ask you this. Does it also have to do a little. bit with like the the whole sort of attraction. I know you're not attracted to men, but like you do have a thing where you like guys in a certain way. So does I don't know. I know you're saying like,

do I enjoy the thought of watching the guy? You know? Yeah, because you're kind of like some aspect of it, right? I can't say for sure. I know, you know, I, I, um, I, um, I'm not attracted to guys. You know, the thought of kissing a guy is disgusting. Right. The things, like, the fact that, like, anytime I've done something sexual, it made me sick. But, you know, watching a guy banging my wife, you know, it is very erotic. The problem is trying to make that happen in reality is not easy.

And, you know, you'll be called a cuck and this kind of stuff. And it took me a while to figure out. out, you know, how to go about that. Yeah, I do enjoy watching or get fucked. But I like the idea that I can just dip in any time, you know, stick my dick in her mouth. You know what I'm saying? I don't like the idea of like, you know, not allowed. You're the loser on the side, right?

Yeah, right, exactly. So getting into swing and with that guy I was just talking about, it was a really, almost a disaster. Because he turned out to be completely evil and totally wanted to. Thank God your wife was honest with you and let you know. Oh my God. Yeah, she's golden. She is, she's one of the rare. She's, they don't, she's like a classic girl.

Like they don't make girls like her anymore. In what sense? What do you mean? Like, she's just very wholesome, you know. She loves her family. You know, she was really close with her dad before he passed. You know, just that kind of heart of gold. kind of girl.

But yet, yeah, she's also, like, super horny and really open sexually, right? So it's like,

you kind of have, like, the perfect girl, right? The unicorn. Yeah, pretty much. Well,

I mean, yeah, like, she's definitely afraid of hurting me, though. So after we

got to the swinging thing, she's actually seen, like, it's changed me, like, to the point

where I am not the same person. I'm actually a lot cooler now, but she was a little bit scared for a minute because,

Because you got super jealous? Yeah, like it just, with the incident with that guy and then getting into it, you know, like when you have your what, when someone's like hanging your wife, it can be traumatizing. But when I first got into it, I was so comfortable with my wife. We had been together for so long. I didn't think of it like that. I was just like, yeah, this is going to be great. What could go wrong? Nothing can get us up.

And nothing could, but boy, did it. me like I I realize that we are you know she's just a girl she's just a girl I'm just a guy we are not you know extraordinary what do we mean by that I guess I thought like you are human that something could happen to fuck this all up yeah right I thought we were untouchable right after that one experience it kind of made me realize like all right there needs to be rules you know when you're swinging a woman can become emotional you know like so what you do and and it's a known thing in the swing world everything's anonymous like they have like masquerade parties or you know you go to a swing club and people don't exchange names right well listen I have though had a lot of swingers on

here that like are sort of the opposite of that they really actually want to get to know the people first they want to be and they become like really good friends with them right they They create that connection. Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, I know exactly what you're talking about. And right now, that's not us. Yeah, but that doesn't never have to be you guys.

I think you figure out what works for you guys together. You know what I mean? I don't think that you could say it's like the same thing as for everybody, right? Because you guys might like to swing in a different way that other couples do, right? And so for you guys, maybe it works, it does work better for you for it to be anonymous and not any kind of relationship with the people or whatever. You know, I totally understand that. We found a thing that gets us off that we both would never tell anyone.

And I'm glad that, you know, with this particular podcast, I'm going to tell you. Yeah. But it's the kind of thing that when you think about it, you might be like, all right, I could see it how that would be. But I don't know. It's going to sound weird. All right. You know those adult theaters, like bookstores? Yeah.

Okay. Every once in a while, we'll go there. I will, you know, she gets all gelled up, short skirts, juicy woman. Mm-hmm. And her and I start doing our thing. And, uh, yada, yada. And several occasions, I will let three or four guys with condoms. I bring condoms.

I will let them fucker. Okay. Now these are just horny, lonely, whoever the kind of guy that would be in an adult theater. Right. So. You like let her be gang banged. It's kind of like a little mini gang bang.

Yeah. My dream is to have a dream team guys that are kind of dorky, not quite cool, but, you know, rare in to go. I wouldn't mind actually like getting people's numbers, you know, and having like a group of people, but for now we found that this works for us.

So you like, you prefer to go to the place. And I think in a weird way it does work for you because there's no, you know, there's none of that kind of relationships going on, right? Like you go, you don't know these people, you leave,

you never seen them before, you're never probably going to see them again, right? Exactly. And they do tend to be a little dorky. And what's with that you like? That's like a, that's like an interesting kind of thing. It's the non-threatening element.

Oh, I see what you're saying. You know, it's a very, I would prefer a guy that is, you know, maybe a little older and, you know, very enthusiastic. But, you know, just maybe like that. Exactly. So you don't have to worry about her sort of like maybe being into them more than you or something like that. Yeah. I found when we, you know, did something with a guy that, you know, she picked. And it was, you know, like a very, like.

buff dude and it was the guy that I was talking about earlier that that called her and stuff right yeah I was trying to cuck me basically yeah and that really bothered you because he was very different I mean I think it's our it's like one thing when you know when it's somebody

that's like completely opposite you right and you see them enjoying it it's like hard right because you're like I could never be that person for them and then do they like that and it could create so many insecurities within yourself right oh yeah it actually lit a fire under my ass actually and I wound up like going to the gym and uh it's kind of funny but

I didn't say as a result um I like up my game and I've actually I've been able to make her squirt no way I'm not and you have never been able to yeah with my hands with um with my fingers and she never even knew she could like it was crazy so I guess you know if one good thing came out of a bad situation. But how did you, okay, but how did you figure out how to make her squirt

because of being insecure? No, it wasn't a direct. I just mean like after that incident. Yeah. It was, I almost had like a kind of a nervous breakdown. It was,

you know, it was kind of, it went kind of dark. Yeah. Like I really, it kind of messed with my head, I guess, you can say.

Mm-hmm. And that is kind of what prompted me to, like, lose some weight. Because I was kind of just at a weight, that was, I couldn't really, I'd just say like she wound up riding me a lot.

Right. In that last year, before like six months ago or whatever, I was, you know, just not, I let myself go. Right. So you up your game, but how did you figure out, like had you been fingering her all the time before and just never made her square? Oh my God, I would always finger. I would, you know, eat her out.

Yeah. You know, the whole nine, but never this one technique. where you, I did some research too, but it's like where you kind of do like a come here kind of with your fingers. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I'm pretty strong. Like I, uh, you know, I lift weights now. I play guitar. Um, uh,

I'm, uh, count with my fingers. Hmm. So I was able to, uh, through doing that and she didn't know like she could do this. And I am not kidding when I tell you,

I actually, I actually, I captured the moment on video, um, where I'm holding the counter with one hand and with the other hand. I'm fingering. And as I hear the squirt, I literally yell out, oh, my God, we got a squirter. She must have been so excited.

I know it sounds like unbelievable. I wouldn't believe that someone told me, but it's very true. And now she could squirt all the time? Yeah, now I can make her squirt on the drop of a dime. Wow. And now does she say that it's like better orgasms? Oh, my God. She says that basically like she is, she'll do anything for me.

she basically said like yeah like it's it's over like she didn't even know and she's tried to do it by herself and can't right right right and you figured it out well that might have made you giving you a little boost of confidence after your big nervous breakdown by her begging another guy you know and the other thing is it led to us making videos online like the whole failure of the swing thing and then doing our thing and we wanted like an outlet to be dirty so we found it and And we've been having a great time ever since. And that's the exhibitionist stuff of putting yourself out there, like having full on sex. We put it all out there.

Like crazy put it out there. But what's interesting about this whole story is it's like, you know, you are a person who saw your wife with another man and completely like flipped out. You realize how sort of horrifying that was for you to think maybe she would fall for somebody. you know yet on the other hand you're having situations on the side behind her back that is equivalent to what what happened you know what I mean if she found out right I mean like because I'm assuming you're not having one-offs right if you're camming and stuff like you probably have some guys that are in the mix that you know no I mean a little bit yeah I would say a moderate it, you know, I've done more so more camming than actual going out, but I have actually gone out,

you know, uh, within the last few years, you know, maybe, uh, a dozen times. Gone out and done what? I thought you said you cheated on her like five times. What's a dozen? Yeah. What would take within the last three years. Yeah. I've probably maybe a dozen times where I've actually gone out and, you know, whether it's

something little or something big. Yeah. So where was that five times cheating on her come from? Where's the five and a dozen is different, right? 12. Yeah. You're saying like within the last year, maybe I met like within the last year five times,

but then within like the last, you know, three to, I guess even since we've been together. We've been together seven years. So I would say in the seven years, let's say 12 times. I mean, I don't really know the exact number. Okay.

But no, that's not the point. I just, my brain for some reason, picks up on these little things. Yeah, I know. You have a good bullshit meter. I like that. I totally appreciate it. Yeah.

So I just don't remember exactly how many, you know, physical time. But I mean, do you have any guys that you hook up on the regular or guys that you email on the regular cam with on the regular? No, I really, I really don't. I really don't have any kind of regular. It's always very anonymous. Any kind of cam. I even will hide my tattoos. I'll put, you know, hide like the where I, the room I'm in.

And how do you hide all the shit? Well, I'll put like a, you know, a blanket up, you know. How do you hide all the shit on your phone so that your wife doesn't catch you? Oh, she, you know, knock on wood, she doesn't go through my phone. And I have so many phones. I have like five, you know, like I'll use my old phone for the cam. Well, you know why she doesn't. It's because, and that's what's so fucked up about these kinds of situations.

because I've had guys like you in the past, like cheaters like you. Like there's all different kinds of cheaters, right? And it's because you're so open and you guys are so like down and open with each other that I feel like if your wife found out that you had like she would be blown away because she would probably never expected because there's so much openness and trust and experimentation in your relationship. Why would she think that there's something you're not? not telling her. Do you know what I mean? Right. And she would be, uh, you know, pretty

heartbroken. Yeah. I think that's what would be heartbreaking is that there was, it's the sense of betrayal, you know, of lie. And you know, that's kind of why I've been trying to slowly like come clean. I'm not going to like tell her that stuff. As far as the dressing, I'm trying to slowly tell her and hope that we could maybe incorporate it into our I think you definitely can I think I can to I mean she's not doing it listen even if she's not doing it because she's 100% into it you know what I'm saying I think she do that for you if she knew that that's what you were really into you know I really do think so you don't have like you know you're not dating you're not married to like a.

Mormon woman who's completely vanilla. And I've had a lot of guys on here that are like you, but are, you know, have very vanilla wives. And they have a much bigger uphill battle to out themselves with those kind of women. You know, you have a woman who's like getting fucking gang banged in the theater. She's putting her shit up of fucking you on Twitter. Her family knows about it. Your family knows about it.

I mean. Oh, yeah. And, you know, she's like, uh, worships me like on Twitter. Twitter. Like she's very, you know, you, if you, to see us on Twitter, you would think I'm a rock star and she is like number one groupie. Right. And I do feel really terrible about the things I've done. Well, then you have to stop. I mean, I don't like, I'm not like across the board like, oh, you're cheating in you if you have to fucking stop. I've had people that call up and that's what they do and they don't feel any kind of feelings about it. But when I get somebody like you on and I've had many guys actually recently, you know, sort of email me and are like, like, like I'm cheating on my wife. I have this secret life, but I don't want to do it. I feel bad.

You know what I mean? And they say that. You said that also in your email. That was a part of it, right? Like you don't feel right about it. So you have to stop. You have to. And like I said, I think you're different than a lot of these other guys that are in the same

position because the chance is that your wife is going to be okay and down with it and able to go there with you is like 99.9. right you're not going to tell her that you want to fuck other guys now do you know what I mean or do any of that stuff but if you could even role play the scenario and get her in on it and then eventually you could probably get down with or maybe she can too with you doing a separate Twitter about this right and you could get all your like you know your camming sort of yeah I've thought I've actually thought about that like if I was to tell you Yeah. And then, you know, either, you know, unless she's like so down and wants to just, you know, lest out with me all day, like that would be cool. But if not, then I could have my own outlet, you know, and it would just be a little bit. Like I have thought about that, you know, that approach.

Yeah, you need to do that. Because if you, you have to just stop. Because how else are you going to do it? You have the, and you can. Like, you're not like, you definitely have that opportunity here. You told her you want to do the panties. and she's like, yeah, I want you to come in my panties. And then she didn't say that.

I mean, that's like she took it. That's her taking it further. That's her putting her fantasy into it too. So that means she could get down with that. Do you know what I mean? And I feel like she's a type of woman that could probably get down with a lot of things, right? Because maybe her imagination could just turn anything into something dirty and fun, right?

I mean. Yeah. She's definitely very cool like that. She's up with I did. Very open-minded. She's a very good woman. I remember you had an episode with a Bob Robert Kelly, a comedian. Yeah.

He's talking about cheating and he has a very loving white. I don't think he cheated on her, but. No, he did. Yes, no, he did. And she found out. Okay. I didn't know he was like, you know, open about that. Yeah.

I just could kind of like relate to a lot of things that he was saying on that episode. Yeah, well, he got caught. So his bottom and the reason why he stopped and really changed everything. And I was good friends with him through that whole thing is because his wife did find out. And, you know, everything about him, he had to come clean and really be exactly who he was. Now, this was a woman that he was with for a very long time.

When I met him so many years before that, she was always in the picture. They were always like sort of a couple. You know what I mean? So he really did not want to lose her because she was like the best thing that ever happened to him. And he knew he could never find someone like that again. And so he changed his whole life.

He's very honest and open about that. I think the whole cheating episode, we talked about that. So for you- He seems to- He seems to really cherish his wife. Yeah. And for you, you don't want that to, you don't want her to find your fucking computer

and find all your shit and then have to go through that. I mean, what you could do is take control of the situation now. Stop going behind her back and bring all your desires into your relationship with her and figure out how to live them out with her so you don't have to go out and do those things behind her back. And the way you could do that is just to completely stop.

Stop living that other life and it'll force you to have to let her know more and do more. When you want to act out, right, and get your rocks off that way, you'll have to do it with her. If it's not an option to go do it someplace else, it has to, you have to reframe that in your brain. you're absolutely right I mean I and I you know I I truly when I say like I am going to tell her and I have been slowly breaking it in

and that's good that's a good way to do you know I don't want to hurt her and worse I don't want to get caught you know I let me tell you I always say this about like it to people and I say this to people that are complaining about their jobs that they're unhappy like sometimes when there's a part

of you that wants something to end, if you don't sort of create that ending yourself, right, in control of that and become in control of that ending, that ending will happen to you out of your control, right? It's like the person who's complaining, complaining about their job, and then they get fucking fired. It's like if you don't go out and get another job and figure out how to change your life because you need it to change, your life will be changed for you. And then you have to deal with the whole big fucking mess and you're walking out with your head down low, right? And that's what happens. So if there's a part of a guy or a woman that's cheating that doesn't want to cheat anymore,

that's starting to feel bad, well, you know, you want to be in charge of that change because the only way that's going to change is either you're going to get fucking caught and she's going to find out and then you're going to stop and you get, but you're going to have to deal with that big mess and clean that all up. and I don't know what your relationship looks like after that. Or you could stop it now, pay attention to that part of you, stop it now and be in control of that ending by just not doing it anymore and going on with your life, with your marriage.

And then you don't have to have that whole big breakdown that some people have to have in order for things to change. So you have to worry when you're a little nervous. I worry for people that, you know, I worry less for the guy that is fucking doing it and could give a shit and doesn't feel bad about it because he's never going to get caught because he doesn't want to. But when there's some subconscious part of you that's coming up,

that's saying, like, I don't want to do this anymore. What happens is that part of you winds up getting you busted. Yeah, I'm too old to be doing stupid stuff like that because it could be dangerous, you know, STD-wise. Totally. You just have to stop. And you're like in the, there's no reason why there are so many guys that are listening now that are in your position

that are living a double life the same like you but they don't their wife has never would never even watch a porn with a gang bank let alone get fucked by 10 guys strangers in a theater I mean come on you are you're lucky that

it's very likely that your wife will be fine she's not going to be fine what you're saying I've been doing this shit behind your back you're not going to tell her that but you have to stop doing that stuff behind her back So you stop feeling guilty about it. And then, like I said, what will happen is when those urges come up and you're really dying to do it instead of going behind her back and doing something, you know, use that energy that you feel and to just tell her what you want to do.

Yeah, something that's that she's dumping on her. Dump it on her. Let's do the panties thing. Let me do. You know what I mean? Listen, like I said, you talked about bringing the paintings and she's like, she had her own. spin on it. Like I feel like you could go into that whole part of your fantasy with her and it may create this whole new part of your sex life. That will be great. I mean, you, you know, look at where you guys

have already gone. That is the plan. Like if it, you know, if she does, you know, if she is okay with it, it would be very cool to once in the blue moon dress myself up and just have some silly fun, you know, silly, naughty fun together. I, yeah. I would be, that would be a dream. And then like I said, if you put it on Twitter, you get your camming, the whole part of you, that's like the exhibitionist and the camming that you let your freak flag fly, right? You'll be getting that out. And then as far as like the other guys are concerned, you know, you don't know where your

conversations with your wife after years of doing this goes, right? Like maybe you'll be able to include that other guy there because you're already having threesome with her with other guys. Like, if you need to add you being. dressed up as a woman in there. Once she's used to that, that could be a totally a part of the deal. And you don't really need the dick in your mouth, right? That's not what it's about. So. Right. So all you have to do is get her down and into you dressing up as a woman and being that with her. And then you got to get her into putting it out there on Twitter separate. You guys could create a whole separate thing. You guys could both be living in double life together. No, that's what you need to do. And I thought you she'd love it. And I am going to, I'm going to go for it.

You know, I don't know how long it'll take me to, you know, completely drop this on her. But I am going to drop this on her. Yeah, you need to. And you don't, and I think it's smart to do it slowly. You don't need to drop it all on her at once. You've already started and she was fine. Okay. Yeah.

Seeing like the reaction to the panty thing. was very, you know, affirming, you know, it was a good feeling to know that at least there's some element that she could get down with. Now, have you done the panty thing with her? Not yet, but she's saying that she would, you know, be totally down with that.

And she said, like, she wants to send me out to the store, like wearing her panties. Oh, my God. Are you kidding me? There you go. That's what you fucking love. Yeah, well, see, then I worry about when we are out, like swinging or doing this and that, you know, that manly guy, you know, like, then suddenly

I'm not so, you know, uh, daddy dumb anymore. That I'm a little bit afraid of that. Right. I hear you, but you know what? You said you're 90% daddy dumb, 10% sis girl, right? Like, I mean, that's like the break. And so she'll, she'll be able to get down with that because she's 90% into being the submissive, right?

but maybe she'd enjoy 10% of being something else too. And I think that that's okay. And I think that that will work. I think it sounds great. Yes. And, you know, I definitely have to go for it because it's silly. We are so open with each other. It's silly to not, you know, include this or at least let her know.

Yeah. And it's like it doesn't make sense that you can't believe. that she could have other parts of herself. You do, you know, and you're you're you. You have that part of you that's on Twitter fucking her like a manly man, man, right? Like that, right? But yet you have this whole other side. And that all is in the same person.

So why can't you believe that that she could be the same way? You have to give her the opportunity to be able to, you know, to experience that too. She may add a whole other layer. she may be totally fucking into it. I believe she will be for sure. So the next time you want to go on cam or do something with a guy, get those panties on and go out to the store. And you've got to just face that fear.

It's, you know, because that fear doesn't mean anything. It doesn't mean that you're right. It just means you're fucking afraid, right? But just like we don't know how she's going to react unless you try it. And I would say all signs point to the fact that she's going to be fucking fine. She's already told you she's fine. Yeah, I mean, I am definitely going to let it all out there, not all of it, but I definitely am going to tell her. Because what is left?

Okay, you told her, I like to dress up. I'd like to wear your panties, right? What's left? Where do you go from there? The rest, I think, is going to die with me. Well, you're hitting the rest of you, the experience with guys. Yeah, the things I've done, there's no sense telling her that at this point. Okay, but no, what I'm saying is that what would you, like say you told your girl and she would be totally into it and she has 10% side of her that she wants to get down and les out with you, right?

All that stuff is they do. What do you see your relationship looking like? Like besides you go, because she's already said, okay, you can wear her fucking panties and I want you to come in them and I want you to go to the store. So she's down with that. What is left that you need to let her know so that you could experience and let your freak flag fly with this part of you. her? What more does she need to know? It would be her, you know, helping me put makeup on like, basically a complete, um, right. I hate to, I don't know the word of drag queen or cross dresser.

Right. She needs to know that it's not just a panty thing that you want to fall on, be the woman. It would be fun to slut me up completely and, you know, have some drinks, you know, me and her and get a little frisky and who knows what happens. That's kind of where I'm hoping. Yeah. Well, you got to start with the panties. I mean, she's already said okay and you haven't gone there, you know? And that's like, I feel like once you go there and you see, what will happen is you might see that she's really fucking into it. She doesn't know until she tries it.

Like I said, she already gave a little bit of her input and spin on things. So it means that she got a little horny from that scenario that she told you about. She definitely did. Yes, I did. Sometimes I send her pictures when she's at work out. open her panty draw, and I rest my cock in it and take a picture and send it to her. She always loves it. And so how long you've been doing that?

Oh my God. I don't even know for a while, but it's not, I'm like resting my cock on all of her panties in the draw. Right. Uh-huh. I'm not putting them on in the picture, but I'm sort of just resting. But she knows now that you would like to put them on. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. But that, I used to tell her, like, early. on that I would go through her panty drawer from time to time. Yeah. I may have told her that like quite a while ago. She's known that. Uh-huh. But this was a new, you know, development, you know, me saying like, you know, can I put

your panties on and her actually being into it? Yeah. But you have, but the fact that you haven't done it yet is like ridiculous. You have to get down with that like right away. Like you just got to do it. It's funny because I keep going for like the more like the, you know, a cool video. I'm afraid to sacrifice a cool video

because once we do that or when we do that, you know, we wouldn't video it. Right now we're just like all about this Twitter thing. Right. So every time you have sex, you videotape yourself? I'm not saying 100% is on Twitter, but I guess just in this last week, it's been kind of a hectic week.

As far as. Why don't you videotape that too? Because then you could maybe say, say like let's videotape this. We won't put it on this Twitter, but like maybe we'll do something with us. Like, why don't you just videotape that as well? But it could go someplace else. I'm totally fine doing that.

I just think like we've been just kind of on this whirlwind with this. I'm trying to make a better video and, you know, and. Yeah, but yeah, no, I'm totally going to, you know, I'm actually going to probably just put her panties on and like when she comes home. I'll just be gone. Yeah, there you go. And then after that, you could. go from the panties to a little lipstick to a whole sort of thing like a whole outfit i mean

you know i mean it would take a lot of effort to make me look decent but it would be fun to try yeah she could help you right um you know instead of me in a mirror right like the guy in the silence of the lambs um you know with her involved i could maybe you know look a little bit decent And still, you know, manly, but, you know, I'm hoping to have fun with it. Yeah, you could. They don't want to hurt this girl. She's incredibly, incredibly awesome. Yeah, then you just, then you just have to stop having the double life.

Think about, you know, how you would feel. Look at how you felt when she fucked another guy in front of you. And then she was just like texting her on the side and you couldn't even do it. And she was telling you about it. Like, you know. Oh, yeah. It did, it just destroyed me. Yeah.

It was real bad. Right. And it's as simple as that. Yeah. So you really shouldn't do the same thing. You shouldn't do anything behind her back because you know how it would feel. I mean, she didn't even do it behind your back and you were fucking freaking out. What you're doing is worse.

Yeah. I mean, I can only say to you that I am going to not do that anymore. And I am going to tell her, you know, about the dressing part. Yeah. And like I said, as long as once you stop, like once you start, like once you. deny that part of yourself, it's like quitting something, right? I've quit a lot of things. I quit drinking. I quit smoking. I'm like very good at quitting, so I know how to do it. And it's just a matter of like every time you get the desire, whatever it is, and for you, it's to go sort of live out

your fantasy with guys on whether it's cam or go meet them in person or dress up and go out behind her back. You just have to not listen to it, no matter how strong that urge is, just literally say no and don't do anything about it. And for you, because this is something, you, because this is something that you want to incorporate with your wife. It's like every time you get that urge to go someplace else, take that urge and, you know, inject it into your relationship with your wife by having a conversation or doing a little panty play with her, you know, and start living that out over there and stop giving it, you know, a secret sort of life.

Right. Yeah, I don't want to be that asshole guy. Yeah, because you are now and you have been your whole life. Yeah. And you're with somebody that you could, there's no reason for that. And that's what would be so devastating to her. She wouldn't understand. Like I, like, this is a woman that gets fucked by a bunch of other guys in front of you.

She, you told her about the panty. She didn't blink an eye. She, like I said, she lets you put her face into her body getting fucked on, on social media. Like. Yeah. Oh, she's a good girl. Right. So why would she, if she thought that you would.

it would be devastating her. She wouldn't understand because it's so obvious that she's a type of woman that would be okay and would much rather you be open and honest with her than be doing something behind her back. And I'm sure you won't feel the same way. So you have to, you're just going to have to, like I said. And I think the more you suppress that, right? The more you'll want to do it and the more you'll be forced to bring that into your relationship with her.

And then you'll be able to, you know, start living it all out with her. You don't need to rush. Like I said, wait until it comes up that you want to go do something behind her back and then, you know, bring it to her instead without having to tell her. That's kind of what I did. Like even with like porn in general when we had that lull in our marriage. Yeah. I stopped watching porn and stopped beating off.

Right. And I wound up inadvertently bringing her, you know, into the porn world with me. And we became the porn. Right. because you could you were denying it for yourself so you had to get it someplace else right I forgot about that so that's exactly what you have to do with this same exact to this yeah you're right yeah you're good at quitting I forgot about that whole scenario yeah that's exactly what you need to do with this part of your fantasy life and and you'll be able to do it because you did it once before

yeah and look what you accomplished you got her like on Twitter at the like how many times have you done that gang bang thing? We've done that about maybe three or five times where we've gone to this theater. And how many guys does she normally got? One time it was like one guy,

one time it was three. The most was four. Okay. And it's always with condoms. And, you know, and afterwards, like, I just fucked this shit out of her. It's such a huge turn on.

Right. Would you fuck her there? Or is this when you get home? Sometimes we'll get the whole room going. He'll blow me. And then I spank her. And I do a lot of like dirty talks. We've got like a big fat ass, you know?

I'm just like, you know, bounce that fat ass. And yeah, you know, that's a good slut. And she just loves it. I can kind of melt her. Right. And we get like an audience. And then you hear the moans of guys like touching themselves. And that's when, you know, I will,

but if someone like usually they start to move in closer and closer and closer and closer and guys will actually politely ask you know can I fuck her right um it's actually a pretty darn good deal yeah let me ask you this though real quick and this will be the last thing then we'll end on this like how did you get her into that like did it just happen one day that you were there and a guy came over and he wanted to fuck her and you let her or did you guys discuss this ahead of time yeah you know we did discuss it we had on to some swing clubs, like the one in New York. Yeah.

And we had done our little, what I used to call our spank and finger bang show. That was before I got out of a sport, but I would just do like a spank and finger thing. Yeah. For people, for like a little audience. But nothing was really like, we could, we can never connect with. You can never what? Sorry, I just had to, I was getting another call. You can never what?

We never could connect with other people at the swing club. Yeah. It was just kind of a weird vibe. and at these theaters, it's just perfect in a way. And it's a very perverted sick way, but it's kind of perfect. Right. Especially because of the way you're into doing it. You like the anonymous.

The anonymous and the dirtiness. Yeah. And there's even like porn, you know, theater, adult theater porn. Yeah. And that's kind of how I showed, put it to her. I showed her some of that kind of porn. Right. And she got into it.

And then you guys decided. to go down and you knew when you were going that you were going to let other guys fuck her and she was down with that? Yeah. We weren't sure, you know, like it was more like we're going to bring condoms and if, you know, we even had like a signal if she squeezes me, you know, that means like

this guy is not, you know, cool. Yeah. Smells or, you know, something like that. And she's been down with all the guys? Yeah, I mean, she's definitely like she'll get on all fours. Usually it's kind of like doggy style when she's getting fucked like that. Yeah.

But one guy he just came on her shoulder Because she just I don't know he just maybe was a little smelly But she felt bad for him She let him come on her shoulder Yeah she just let him come on her Right This is a dirty horny girl that I have here

Yeah she's down for it So I mean like I don't think you're going to have any problem And I want to know when you bring it in You know Yeah I would definitely keep me posted. Yeah, and no more cheating. That's it.

It's over. No, I am promising you. Yeah, don't do it. Promise yourself. Don't do it anymore. And let me know when you guys have had your first, you know, lesbian experience. I'm sure. When we start scissoring, I will let you know.

All right. Good luck with everything. Or when you start your new Twitter and then people can look at it. When you start the new one, right? Exactly. All right. Awesome. Thanks so much for calling in.

Thank you. Talk soon. Keep me posted. Bye. Bye. All right. Bye. Okay.

I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available not only in paperback and ebook, but you can pre-order the audio book. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order. it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang being girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person. And they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third

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people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other, and that's what you get to do there. You could post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total strictly anonymous community and you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord. It's private, like I said. All you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook or the paperback.

Send it to me at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. That's strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. And I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in.