Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 346 - Layla is a Cross-dresser

Episode Date: July 27, 2020

Layla is a cross-dresser who recently got caught cross-dressing by his girlfriend and he calls in to talk all about it. How long has he been cross-dressing? How far does he take it? How did his girlfriend catch him and has he ever been caught before? Tune in for all the details which include the hot s-e-x he had with his girlfriend after she found out, her past experience that helped her accept him, how his mom caught him once fully dresses and how she reacted, the time his dad caught him googling gay porn and how he reacted, the stuff he still does behind his girlfriends back including sexting people online, a one time secret meet up with a guy, how he feels about becoming transgender plus a whole lot more. Also, there's a surprise encounter with a cop while we were taping as well, did he get a ticket, did he get out of it? And if so, how? Tune in to find out. **To see anonymous pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. The Craigslist is definitely like the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Singapore or Thailand. You can't not do it.

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Here is your host, Kathy. Hey, welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast with Kathy. If you want to follow the Strictly Anonymous podcast on Instagram or Twitter, follow the show at Strict Anonymous. So if you have a secret naughty life that you want to talk about and come clean with, but you don't want anyone to know who you are, that's what we do here. Change your voice, you change your name, you could lie about where you're from, You can lie about what you do, but you just got to be honest about everything else.

And most people find it to be very cathartic to air their dirty laundry. Sometimes it's for the first time. So I'm taping people again. Send me an email, strictly anonymous podcast.com or go to my website, strictly anonymouspodcast.com and click on Be on the Show. Today I have to give out, oh, I forgot last week. I wanted to give a shout out to a guy named Elias who listens to my podcast and loves it. I have a cousin and I don't know I'm not going to say her name but I found out she listened to my show and she turned one of her co-workers on to it I'm assuming right and he really loves a show and she called me one day to be like oh he's got a critique for you I think there was one episode where I he couldn't hear the call or I was cock blocking you know I don't know I interrupt I don't know if it was a volume problem or me problem she called to tell me what a lias had said which was kind of funny not insulting at all he's a big fan of the show so I was like oh I'm going to give him a shout I'm

So hi, Elias. I don't know your last name. I'm not going to out you, but thanks so much for listening to my show. And I promise you, I will make sure you could always hear the callers. I try to do that. Maybe you were listening to an old episode. I don't know. And I try not to interrupt, but, you know, it's just, it is a part of who I am. But anyway, shout out to Elias. Thanks so much for tuning in. If you want to, the other things I want to talk about is my patron. Oh, wait, there's one other thing. Did anybody hear about my podcast on another podcast? or something. There was a day last week, I think it was, where I got like 50,000 downloads in one day, right? And that's not normal. I normally don't get 50,000 in one day. I'll get that in like a couple weeks, but not one day. So I was like, did somebody mention my show somewhere or something? Like, how did I get all those downloads? So if anybody knows and heard somebody talking about my show or read an article or something somewhere that attributed to that huge spike that I saw, let me know, email me, strictly not this podcast at gmail.com. If you want to join my Patreon page, join my Patreon page. It's patreon.com slash strictly anonymous podcast.

I give a lot of extra content there. I do a lot of polls. People chime in, write their stories. I have part twos of my guests. I air them there. I also do monthly Q&As where I give a lot of interesting gossip about me, if you want to know more about me or people that have been on my show or the show in general. I talk and answer a lot of those questions on my monthly Q&As.

There's a $3 tier. Oh, I also, that's what you get you. get early access. Everyone gets early access to my show as well. You guys get my this podcast episode on Sunday nights at 830. It's always up every single day. But for the people that drop my Patreon, you get it Friday at noon. So if you want early access, Q&A's extra content, go to patreon.com slash strictly anonymous podcast and join, sign up. Three dollars will get you early access and you're just basic. I mean, it's kind of like jump change. I always say it's just supporting my show. There's the $5 you get extra content, extra shows, extra episodes as well as,

all the other stuff. And then there's a special panty hose section. That happened kind of by accident, but it's turning out to be fun for me because I have a community of guys there that have signed up and really get into all the content that I post for them. They're helping me out to create content. I'm doing a lot of extra videos for them and they're sending me pantos and I'm trying them on and not in a sexual way. I literally, I mean, I'm probably cock-blocking myself. I was like a phony porn star or I mean not that porn stars are phony but if I was like phony or a porn star I mean I probably have a lot more people signing up for my Patreon but honestly I'm not into pantyhoes as a fetish or anything like that I just tried them on as a regular

girl and give them my opinion of the ones that they send me but it's a lot of fun and they enjoy it I'm doing a roundtable with other girls to talk about pantyhose for those guys so it's interesting if you have that pet fetish I highly suggest you signing up for $7 a month you can get all that kinds of. Patreon.com slash strictly not in this podcast. Today I have on a guy named, what the fuck is his name? Oh, it's a guy named Leila, but it's a girl named Leila. It's a cross-dresser named Leila. He's got a guy named, I don't know what it is. He emailed me as Leila. He called me in as Leila. And Leila, we had a great conversation. Leila is a cross-dresser who, in my opinion, got busted a lot of times. He got busted by his parents. He got busted by his girls. He got busted by his

girlfriend. But the good news about his girlfriend is he got busted and she was into it. And she lets him dress up and they get it on. And she had been a lesbian before. So it kind of works for them. And so he's pretty lucky in that aspect, right? But he still has some stuff that he hides from her. And we talk all about that as well. Like stuff that he does with guys on the side as Layla. Because he does have this fantasy that involves a straight guy, right? When he's dressed up, P is missing with his girlfriend that straight guy involvement. So he has done that on the down low. And we talk all about that.

We talk about how he got busted when he was little, when he started cross-dressing, how his girlfriend found out, and how she reacted and what they did afterwards, which is pretty interesting. It has to do with SEX, like, you know, how they got it on, because she was into it. And then, but I have to tell you,

in the middle of the podcast, I was like, he says like, hold on a minute, and I was like, okay, and I waited a really long time. I cut out the length of time that I went, was holding on. And he wound up getting busted, like with a ticket as he was talking on the phone. And I felt so bad because I had made him get off a speaker because it was too noisy and hold the phone up to his ear. And I didn't realize he was driving. And he literally gets a ticket through in the middle of the podcast. And I left some of it in because it was pretty entertaining and you'll hear that.

but it kind of gets resolved. So that's in there. And I didn't make it long because it does go, you know, it sort of goes off the rails. It's not about that for a couple minutes. But it's interesting. So I left it in because it was the first. That was the first time anyone has ever been busted by the cops while talking to me on the show.

And so many people are in their cars. A lot of them are parked. Some of them are driving. I think this guy was parked and then drove a little bit and they got busted. I don't know, but it's kind of funny. So I left it in. I did make his voice a little higher so that he would sound a little bit more Layla-like, right?

His voice was deeper when I spoke with him, but I made a little higher for him, and it worked. It doesn't sound like a chipmunk, I'm hoping, but it's listenable. The voice changed. But anyway, I'm going to be right back on with Leila. How are you today? I'm doing well.

How are you? Good. So I think what people are going to be thinking right when they hear you say, hey, is they're going to be like, wow, Leila has a really deep voice, right? Yeah. Is Lada, is Lela like your femme name? Because you're a cross-dresser, right?

You've been cross-dressing for a long time. You sound super young. How old are you, by the way? 27, yes, I've been cross-dressing since I was 12 or 13 years old. So, so, yeah, about, you know, 13, 14 years. Right. And is Lela like a name you just used because you need to, like, email me about the show, or is Layla a name that you've been always using for yourself when you

dress up? Yeah, so Layla is my, my femme name. Right. I've been going by, I've been going by Layla since I honestly can remember. Actually, since I was at least 18. I remember on my 18th birthday, I went to a strip club, and a friend of mine bought me a lap dance, and the stripper's name was Layla and I kind of fell in love with the name so that turned into my my girly name. Yeah, it's so funny. Before you said that it was a stripper that you got the name from a stripper, I was going to say like, why do all you cross-dressed always have such slutty names? I was, seriously, I promise you that was my next question. I was thinking like Layla, I've had them on before and the names are always like slutty girl names, you know?

and I guess maybe like you got your name from a stripper. There was another guy who he was always a cross-dresser and he liked a cross-dress and he really had this fantasy of being like a hooker and when he cross-dressed he really wanted to be like a promiscuous woman, you know? So I don't know if that's like a thing. But so you pick the name Layla after the stripper. Now when you, what got you into cross-dressing back when you were at that age? Because that's like not really young, but not that old, right?

It's an interesting age to start. putting on women's clothes. Right. Yeah. So it's, I mean, the age when you're kind of going for starting puberty, more or less. Yeah. I've just, you know, I was always kind of turned on by my mom's, like, women's magazines and stuff like that, like clothing, a Sears catalog, whatever she would get in the mail. I always flipped through and look at the women's intimates, like the panties, bras, lingerie, stuff like that. And then

one day I was helping out around the house doing laundry and I just decided to try on some bras and panties. So then it kind of snowballed from there. So now when you were like looking through those what are they called? Catalogs or whatever

do you feel like because I think a lot of guys have told me you know guys that are really into bra that have bra fettish you know the bra fetish or have a panty house fetish. They would look through those catalogs and seeing women wearing those things was a real turn on to them, right?

So now for you, since it became something that you wanted to actually, you know, you wanted to be like the women in these catalogs, right? And wearing what they're wearing. Did you register that when you were looking at it? Or was it, was the attraction, the women at the time wearing them?

Or was there something weird about it where you felt like you wanted to be them even when you were looking through the magazine? Does that make sense? I feel like I'm confusing. Yeah, no, no, no, it makes sense. I mean, I mean, I've always been attracted to women. Yeah.

But definitely, I mean, I've always kind of been jealous in the sense that their clothing is much more fun, sexy. So I've always kind of been drawn towards like the sexy clothing, women's clothing. Uh-huh. Like undergarments. Right, undergarments more so. But, I mean, as time goes on, you kind of develop more into liking the, uh, like sexy, slutty outfits rather than just your traditional, you know, women's clothing. So when I dress up, that's what I prefer to wear, like a more revealing, more sultry kind of women's clothing.

Yeah, so that is a thing, right? Yeah. That when guys dress up, they want to be slutty. Yeah. Right? No one's looking to be like a secretary. You know what I mean? I mean, you want to be like the naughty secretary.

Right, exactly. Right, but you don't want to be the button-up conservative secretary. It's kind of funny. It's like you have, I mean, every girl has that in her too, right? I mean, look at Halloween. Everybody dresses up like a whore. Even, you know, 60-year-old women take that time to be like, oh, I'm going to be a slutty nurse. You know what I mean?

Everyone wants to be slutty. So maybe that's just something that everybody has inside of them. But I do find that a lot of guys, when men are cross-dressing, they want to be slutty, right? And I'm sure I'm going to get emails from guys that are like, I'm a cross-dresser and I never want to dress slutty, but let's get, we're talking about you. So now you're 12 years old. Well, before you were 12 and you decided to put on that stuff and go through your mom's hamper, was there a sign that you wanted to cross just before that besides looking through the series catalogs and all that stuff?

Not so much that I can remember. I remember just being like really into the catalogs. And, yeah, just looking through them and kind of being attracted to the sexy women's clothing. And, you know, once I tried it on, I was just, you know, hooked. But did you remember ever, though, before you were 12 and seeing your mom stuff that day that you tried to want? Do you remember before that ever when you were younger seeing stuff around your house of your moms and having some curiosity about it or no, not at all? Yeah, I mean, just wondering, like, why our understanding. where it's different and stuff like that.

Oh, interesting. Okay. So that first day, what did you wind up putting on that first time? Panties and a bra. Right. And how did you feel? Amazing. Right.

But was it a sexual thing right off the bat? Oh, absolutely. Absolutely, yeah. Like you got hard. You jerked off? Mm-hmm. Yes, and then you went back for more. I mean, this was your mom's panties.

Did you jerk off in them? Or did you wash them? Did you not get anything in them? Did you give them back? Did you steal them? I kind of, you know, pulled my panties to the side and, you know, whipped up my, I call it, when I dress up, I call it like my clitty. Oh, your dick is your clitty. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. And then my, you know, my asshole is my boy pussy. Right. Are these words that you got from the community or words you made up? I feel boy pussy is like a maybe a community word, no? Yeah, I mean, more or less. I mean, I've kind of adopted them on my own, but, um, kind of. to find that they, you know, are used pretty universally amongst the cross-dressing community.

The clitty, too? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Oh, that's interesting. I've never heard it. Yeah, yeah. Some of the other girls I talk to, you know, they refer to their penis as their clitty as well. So now was it confusing to you that for, like, so you, after you jerk off, right?

We always talk about this and I show that it's like you go from being drunk to being completely straight in one second, right? So now you're done jerking off. Now you're wearing your mom's, like, panties and bra. Are you? Are you confused or horrified? Do you feel guilty? Are you freaked out?

How do you feel right after? Yeah, I mean, definitely at the beginning or at least the first few years, definitely, you know, instant once I came, it's just like, oh, my God, what am I doing? Yeah. So typically I just, you know, wash off the gum and then, you know, put everything back if I didn't mess it up or anything. And if I did, I wash it and put it away. Just try to hide my traces and stuff like that. Right. And then did you keep going back for more until – because I know that eventually you did start stealing stuff from a girlfriend that you had.

But before you had that girlfriend, because you're super young at 12, right? Do you just strictly use your mom's stuff? Yeah. So before I was, you know, dating, I was – yeah, she was like the only woman in my life. So I would, you know, use her stuff and try to find whatever her sexiest, you know, articles of clothing were and I would wear those. And then that's so like it's initially started off with panties and bra just through standard panties and bra. And then eventually went through her panty drawer, found some some sexy, intimate panties would wear those. Eventually, you know, leading up to her lingerie and stuff like that.

Now, did you ever, you know, I don't know how far into cross-dressing you are now, but did you ever put makeup on and start doing your hair and stuff as well back then? And I don't know if you do with that now. Yeah. So, like at first it was just, you know, bras panties lingerie. Right. Then, you know, as I got older, I tried to experiment more with makeup, jewelry, wearing wigs. I didn't have long. I have long hair now. so it's easier to just, you know, put my hair down and, you know, wear it, kind of style it, kind of girly. Yeah. But back then it was just more so wigs. I didn't have long hair.

Now, did you have any brothers? I'm assuming you didn't have a sister, right? Because you would have been stealing from her. Did you have any brothers? Oh, absolutely. I have a younger brother. I've always wanted an older sister to, like, sort of dress me up and just kind of be in that atmosphere.

Yeah. That's always been a fantasy in mind, but unfortunately, you know, that's not something I can control. Yeah, and sisters do do that. We have lots of pictures of my brother dressed up in, in outfits and makeup. We used to do that to him all the time. Yeah. I'm jealous.

Yeah, totally. So did your mom ever catch you? Yes. She did? Yes, kind of twice, one and a half times. Well, what happened the first time and then tell me about the half time? So the first time, it was, I was probably a little older. probably 15, maybe 16.

Uh-huh. And I was probably in the middle of the night at some point, maybe, you know, 1 a.m., 2 a.m. And I was just really horny and, you know, couldn't go to sleep. So I had a shoebox underneath my bed of, you know, things that I had acquired over the years from girls that I dated. Some of my mom's old clothes that she would be throwing out or giving to, like, Goodwill or something, I would kind of go in there and take what she wouldn't notice. Oh, wow. Okay. So you had a shoebox full of girly things. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And so I was, you know, sitting there in my room, just dressed up, wearing braw panties, tight girly jeans, a nice white, like, sheer blouse, and a blonde wig.

Oh, my gosh. My mom came in. Oh, my God. Because she heard some noises, so she came in. And I don't know if she was delusional because it was. because it was like two in the morning. She just kind of looked at me and said, go to bed. Oh, no, she wasn't delusional. She was fucking horrified. Yeah, yeah.

She was like, go to bed, but she probably tossed and turned all night long, like, what the fuck was that? Or she just, you know, shoved it under the rug and went to sleep. You know, some people are more able to get to denial faster than others. Right, right. But what was it like the next morning when you saw her? Because like you know that she knows and she knows that you know that she saw you. So how uncomfortable was it the first time you saw her? Definitely uncomfortable.

I was just kind of waiting there anxiously to her to bring it up. Yeah. She never did. She never did. Yeah, that's typical. A lot of people would rather just make that go away or pretend it didn't happen. So she never brought it up. No.

But what about the halftime? So one time, you know, growing up, living with your parents, you kind of try to dress when nobody's home. So I was wearing some of her dresses. And I heard the car pull in. And I quickly stripped everything off and hit it under like the bathroom sink cupboard. Yeah. And kind of left it. there because I didn't have an opportunity to put it back.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And my mom started cleaning or something and found the dress underneath. And then she asked, what is this doing here? And I just denied it until, you know, denied, deny, deny, deny. Yeah. And I'm sure she was happy for that because obviously, I mean, she saw you in full get up, right? I mean, with the wig, everything. I mean, why would she even have to ask how did that get under there?

Right. It was obvious. Yes. Yeah. And my brother was there too. So, like, he was just like, not me. I mean, my brother doesn't cross us. So obviously it wasn't him.

And I just was sitting there trying to deny and put on the straightest face. I could. Yeah. But how do you know your brother doesn't? I mean, these are the things that people do that nobody knows about. You know, I mean, you don't know. But, I mean, does anyone know? Like, did your brother ever know that you did?

Did he ever catch you? Did he ever know? No, my brother never caught me. He doesn't know. I still don't think. he ever knew. Right. My dad almost caught me one time as well.

What happened then? So I stayed home sick from school. And this was, I was in eighth grade. So I was like 14 or 15. And I... So around the same time that your mom caught you, was it before or after? I believe it was after.

Okay. Yeah. So I stayed home sick from school and... You know, this is a field day for me, so I get the whole day to myself. Yeah. And so I had some sexy lingerie on some silk lingerie, my wig, some jewelry, and I attempted to do my makeup as well. And then I, you know, started sitting in front of the computer and, you know, was looking

up porn, more so like lesbian porn, gay porn, just trying to find out, you know, what I like and trying to get into the mindset of being a girl. Yeah. So I wanted to see more men than anything. Uh-huh. And then my dad came home for lunch and I stripped everything off, put everything under a blanket, ran outside because he came in the front door. So I ran out the back door, but naked.

Oh, my God. Around the house, back into the front door and up the stairs and directly went to the shower. Oh, my God. He looked at the search history in the computer and saw that I was watching gay porn. Oh, my God. I'm wondering if your parents are communicating these things to each other. Yeah, yeah. I know my dad did tell my brother that.

Oh, he told your brother? Yeah, he told my brother that he saw me or he found gay porn in the search history. And, you know, my brother and my dad kind of joked about it. And I was like, oh, you know, I was looking up gay girl. Like, I just clicked on the wrong thing. But wait, so did your dad, because how did your dad not, why did your dad know that it was you? Like, maybe it could have been your brother or did he, was it right after you were home. That's why he knew it was you.

Yeah, yeah, just because I was the only one home all day. And then I was the one who, you know, I ran out the back door. Oh, so he checked immediately after. Yeah, yeah. It was right then. And like when he got home, like he was like, okay, you were watching something on the computer. Oh, my God. But if, you know, before he went to bed, he told your mom, like, guess what I found in?

Layla, I don't know what your male name. Let's pretend your name is Lou. You know, like, what do we find in Lou's bedroom last night? You know, on the computer is looking at a gay port. And then your mom was like, oh, my God, I saw him dressed up as a girl the other day. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. You know, I mean, your poor mom, that she kept that all to herself.

It's a little cray-cry if you ask me. I know. Right? I mean, and they don't know. Nobody knows now. I know that your girlfriend knows, right? And I know that your girlfriend caught you. We have to talk about that.

You're either really sloppy or you just don't give a shit if people find out. I mean, the amount of you getting caught in this story is out of control. Most people could pull it off their whole life. I haven't been caught. I got caught last summer by my girlfriend. But since my mom and dad caught me when I was. you know, 14, 15, I hadn't been caught then. So I had a pretty good track record for maybe 12, 13 years.

Right, right. But you had a girlfriend, right? Let's get to the girlfriend. So, all right, so between your mom and your dad catching you and your girlfriend now, all that time in between, would you ever leave your house when you were cross-dressing or did you ever get that bold and go out of the house? Or was it always done, you know, in your room late at night or during the day when you were home? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, mostly in my room during the night, during the day when I was home alone, that's when I would do it. Right. Okay. And your mother, father, brother never caught you. You had girlfriends. I know that you stole stuff from girlfriends over that time, right?

That's the stuff that you had in that, you know, shoebox, you said. But how did your current girlfriend catch you? Yeah. Do you guys live together? Yes, we do. Okay. We do live together. In the past, I had, like, dated women and would, like,

steal things from their closet, you know, added to my collection. And then more recently, I mean, I've been with my girlfriend now for three years. Yeah. And, you know, living with her has, you know, kind of been a blessing because I can wear a lot of her things. Just being at the house and not really having to have my own collection. I have my own, you know, little collection as well. but for the most part, when it comes to clothes, I can wear some of her clothes.

Okay, but wait, let me just ask you that, well, no, let's talk about this girl and how you got caught. And then I'll have some questions about, like, the gay porn that you were Googling. That's for sure. Because I forgot to ask you questions about that. So now this girl you're dating and you've always dated girls, right? This wasn't the first girl that you dated. But this is the first girl that you moved in with? Yes.

Yeah, this is the first girl that I've lived with, yes. Right. Okay. Now, how long into your relationship did she come home and bust you? I mean, how did she bust you? So last summer, so we had been dating for about two years, a little more than two years. Yeah. And she had, again, thought I had the whole day to myself. She's a hairstylist and one of her clients, one of her clients canceled. So she came home early and there was, there was in, you know, panty hose, a garter, belt, panties, braw. On you or on the floor? On me. Heels.

And now that I'm older now, I'm way more sexual with it than I was now. So I had a plug-in. My jil-do's laying all over the bed. I was locked in chastity. Oh, my God. Stop. Yeah, so she came home, I tried to hold the door shut, like, just jar it closed, and then strip off as much as I can.

she was like peeking through the cracks and saw like brawls flying it everywhere and like me trying to hide the stuff so she thought I was cheating on her initially she just she just broke through the door and then there I was in like you know stockings heels panties chastity I managed to get some of the things off but but yeah and you wonder like I mean I know the end of this story I know how she reacted because you told me in the email but like you know at that point you know, would it have been better for some women if they found out that their boyfriend was cheating or is it a better that they found out that their guy was just wearing their clothes? You know, I wonder.

Yeah, I mean, for her, for her, it was better. It was the latter. Right. Yeah, she was thankful that I wasn't cheating on her. Right. But definitely, definitely she was, you know, worried and scared. And, I mean, me too. I was petrified that what her reaction would be.

Right. And so she comes in. She sees you with all that stuff. You did say it was like a rush. So was there some sort of turn on for you? Was that after the fact? Was it while she was banging on the door? What do you mean?

Yeah, a lot of crosshessers fantasized about being caught. Oh, really? Yeah, at least the ones I'd talk to. And you did too? Yeah, absolutely. Okay. Maybe that's why it's come true for you so many times. Yeah, yeah.

Being caught and, you know, having it be a turn on for that person who's taught you. Yeah. And that's sort of what happened with my girlfriend. Right. So it was like the ultimate fantasy come true. Yeah. Yeah. So she, she caught me. We sat down and talked. Obviously, she was scared, you know, thought I was trans and, you know, wanted to transition, be a full, a full-time woman. And kind of, we kind of just talked and I reassured her that, you know, that I do like women. I don't want to transition. I do like, you know, being a man and, and I my male side, but I just happen to have a feminine side that I like to get in touch with, and both, I mean, sexually and, you know, mentally.

And then how did you find out that, I mean, did you immediately start dressing up in front of her? I mean, what was that transition like? Because I know she kind of enjoys it now, right? Yeah, yeah. Not nearly as much as I'd like her to. Right. I mean, you know, we're taking it a step at a time.

Uh-huh. But from that time, you know, when we sat down and had that conversation right after she caught me, she was really turned on and she was like, oh, my God, feel my panties are soaking wet. And so we kind of had, like, girly sex. We, like, scissured and she, like, grabbed one of my do-dos and, you know, was fucking me with it. And it was a good time. Wow. The next day, she went out and bought a double-sided strap on and vibrate her for us to play with in the future.

So maybe she had some fantasies going on too, right? Well, she had dated, she's dated a woman prior. Oh, okay. So that helps, right? Yeah, for sure, definitely. And that kind of made it a lot easier for me to come out and share this with her even though I was so reluctant to. Yeah. But once she caught me, I was like, okay, like, you know, she's been in a lesbian relationship before.

I mean, this is, you know, purely sexual for me. Maybe we can kind of incorporate some of that into our relationship. Yeah, absolutely. So she got, she was down with it. I mean, literally you have, like you said, it was a lot of guys' fantasy, right? And that's what you're living. You're super lucky that she felt that way. Yeah.

And what a weight off your back? I'm assuming it's a weight off your back, right? Even though it's a turn on to be naughty and secretive, isn't it more of a turn on to be able to do it with your girl? Absolutely. Right? Absolutely. Yeah, I've had a lot of guys on here that do secret things and some of them feel like,

and I'm like, why don't you just tell your wife? Like, she'd probably be down with it. But there's something about that other person not knowing that is a rush for them. But I always feel like if you take it into your relationship, maybe you, you know, you might give up the rush of the secret, right? But maybe you're going to get 10 more new rushes, right? And it's going to be good. Right? Is that what happened for you?

Yeah. And it's been good. She's been, you know, accepting. And I've probably dressed up with her maybe five or six times in the last, probably six or seven times. I just spent all of last week, you know, as a girl with her. Really? Uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah. So it's, it's been kind of growing, but yeah, it's definitely more acceptable now that, you know, she comes home and I'm, you know, wearing panties under my, my board clothes or just I bring it up out of the blue. And sometimes I get a little nervous still to bring it up. But, but, yeah, there are times where I just, you know, say, fuck it. And I'm going to wear panties today and, you know, bust out my dough.

Listen, that first time, though, she was totally wet, and then she went out and bought toys and she was into it. So why the nervousness to bring it up again? Just because the way she spoke about, you know, being scared about me transitioning and stuff like that. So I definitely take that into consideration. I don't want to be too pushy with it, and I don't want her to think that. You want to be a girl more than a guy. I want to be a girl full time. Right.

And I mean, I'm not going to lie. Like, there's definitely been times where I've thought about, you know, transitioning or, or being more feminine in my appearance. But, um, but yeah, I mean, for the most part, I, you know, I like being a guy and I'm into, you know, guy things. But I don't think I could do it full time. What about that gay porn that you were watching? Um, yeah.

So, just, uh, like to get in touch with, um, my feminine side and, you know, see. things more more masculine while I'm being feminine. So that's why I was just like, I wanted to see guys while I'm being a girl, you know, kind of envision what it would like to have sex as a woman. With a man. With a man, yeah. Now, do you, have you ever been with a guy as Layla, you know, on the down low in all these years that you've been dressing up?

Or have you ever had any kind of online, you know, interactions? not affairs, interactions with guys as Layla? Online for sure. Yeah. Online and still continuously, like I have online interactions with other cross-dressers, girls and guys as well. I have hooked up with one guy before. We didn't have sex like fully, but I was dressed up in front of him.

I showed up at his house wearing some sexy lingerie under my boy clothes. I was, got to his, his house, stripped down. And I was, you know, locked in Chastity, had my vibrator, had a butt plug in, and he, you know, started eating me out, eating out my boy pussy. Oh, right? Because that's what that's what, that's how you enact being a woman, right? Right. Exactly. So, he put on my butt plug and started eating my pussy.

And then I was rubbing, like, the vibrator on my clitty. and he would rub his, rub his cock on, you know, my boy pussy, but he didn't put it in, but I did suck him off until he came in him out. Right. Now, does your girl know about that? She does not.

Right. She does not know about that and my online encounters. Yeah, I was going to ask about that too. She doesn't know about any of that stuff. Now, did she question whether you were into guys, did you ever look at porn, do you think you want to be with the man? Did she ask any of those questions?

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And what was your answers? I mean, I tried to play it off as much as I could. I said, no, I like girls. It's more of a sexual fantasy. I like being in a girl-girl relationship, which for the most part, it's true. Yeah. But there is definitely a side that, you know, wants to be fully taken as a woman.

But you didn't feel comfortable telling her. I didn't know. I brought it up subtly, just more so. like having maybe a threesome with her. I brought that up with another guy. Yeah. I told her that I would, you know, be open to have a threesome with her and another guy and have me, you know, fully, fully femme.

That's always been a huge fantasy in mind. Yeah, I think it's like a, I think it's a society thing because, look, here you are with a girl who has copped to the fact that she had a relationship with a woman. yet you can't and she caught you dressing up as a woman and she was not only was she cool with it she was like down for it right

but yet you still can't be honest with her about the fact that you once gave a guy a blowjob right right it's still like a societal thing yeah that really shows that it still is a lot more accepted for women to be with women or be bisexual than for guys too

right there's oh 100% yeah Yeah, that sucks for guys, right? I mean, I don't know if you look through the titles of my show. How many guys are secretly blowing guys behind their wives back? I have tons of that. That's like a very common topic of my show. Somebody wrote in recently or commented somewhere like, how come there's so many guys on your show?

Is that something that you like? I was like, no, that's something that's just something that is happening out there. These are just, you know, I have one guy on who talks about it. And then I get 10 emails from guys who are like, oh, that's, you know, I can totally relate. That's me too, you know, but I think everyone's doing it on the download because it still isn't so accepted. Because you, you know, the perfect time for you to have admitted that was, you know, when she asked the question, right? You're finally letting her, you're finally letting your freak flag fly, but you just kept that still to yourself.

Yeah, yeah. And that's basically based off her reaction to me transitioning. You were afraid that if you told her that she would get more afraid of you. Right. Exactly. Right. And have you told, because you said there, you have thought about it, maybe. I mean, is it, so is it something that when you say I think about it?

Is it something that you just think about it? It's like a fantasy and it's fun to think about, but then you always go back to, oh, no, I just want to remain the way that I am. Or is it something that when you think about it, you think, I might do that, but it's, you know, 10 years from now or 20, years from now. I mean, what's that thought process like for you? Yeah, more sort of the former. I like to, you know, fantasize about being a woman full time, living as a woman full time. But then, you know, when I kind of snap back into it, I'm just like, okay, you know what? I do like being a guy, so. Right. Now when you, how long ago were you with the guy? Was it when you were with your girlfriend? Was it a long time ago? Did you

tell me? I don't think so. Yeah, it was when she was out of town, yeah. Oh, so it was while you were, oh, that's another reason why you didn't tell her because you fucking cheated on her with the guy. I know. Timelines could get iffy. I mean, you might get really busted, right? Right, yes. So it was while you were with her. So it was recent? Yeah, it was February.

Oh. So the only reason why you haven't done it again is because we've been fucking locked down. True. And also that my, you know, I've been doing it with my girlfriend, too. So that's definitely helped, you know, suppress those urges to be with the guy. Yeah, because I was going to say, I mean, I don't know, for some reason I thought this happened a long time ago. I was going to say, you know, what are you going to do with that part of you? Like, do you find that you still have those urges? You're saying that it has been suppressed because you've been doing stuff with your girlfriend.

but just the fact that I just have to say that when you suppress something like eventually like they say what you resist persists right just the fact that yeah you know you're pushing it down makes it a hundred percent guaranteed that it's going to rear its ugly head again right I mean just because it's there right yeah and the urges yeah the urges are still there yeah kind of kind of why recently I brought up you know having a three son with a guy you know me dressed up as a girl with my girlfriend so yeah yeah I would feel a lot more comfortable in that situation than, you know, going behind her back again and doing that. Yeah, you like your girlfriend? I mean, is this? Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. I love her.

And I, you know, I can't be happier that she's, you know, so accepting and, you know, not totally freaked out about this because I can't, you know, speak for other women. But I'd imagine that's quite a freaky ordeal to walk into. Yeah, no. And she was cool with it. And, yeah, you're really, really lucky. right and I'm just going to tell you because I do believe that you know people have patterns in their life and you I know you think you're so great that you didn't get caught in between like your parents and this girl but I think you the amount of times you got caught is a lot considering like seriously

like you have a pattern of getting caught whether you want to look to see it or not okay and so I worry for you that you know the secret guys online and if you secretly continue to see guys even if it's once a year or you know twice a year that you're the person that will get busted and you don't want her to you know you don't want her to catch you doing that because that might be the deal breaker you know what i'm saying because that's cheating yeah and you don't want to lose the girl who's totally cool with exactly who you are i mean you do have it really good you obviously really care about her You guys are compatible in every other way.

And on top of it, she happens to accept you and dig what you're into. You know, so you want to hold on to her. You have to, I think it is smart doing it. Because, listen, you already, like, doubled down on you not into guys, right? You already told her, no, denied it, right? So you can't say, oh, by the way, I didn't tell you I was with a guy years ago. Right. Somehow it has to come up as a new thing.

And I think you saying, hey, let's do a threesome with a guy and I'm dressed up as a girl is a good way to introduce that side of you. And maybe she's into it. And then you could live that out with her because I wouldn't, I just think if you do it continually behind her back, eventually you will get busted. And it will keep coming up because it's something that you're into. Definitely. Yeah, I totally agree. How did you bring up the threesome with her? What did you say?

And how did she react? So it was actually this last week when I was, you know, dressed all early. We were walking our dogs. I wasn't, you know, completely dressed out in public. Yeah. And we were just talking about actually a friend who just recently got a female friend who just recently got a female roommate who was. in a lesbian relationship prior. And we were talking about her and the other girl hooking up.

And, you know, the one girl dates a friend of mine. And we just brought up talking about my friend who dates this girl and her now female roommate. Yeah. Having a threesome. And I was like, that sounds pretty cool. I'd be down for that. and then I was just talking about how I would like to, you know, be in a threesome with her and another girl or, and I was like, I'd even do a threesome with, you know, doing a guy. But, I mean, if I were to do anything with a guy, I totally, you know, want to be dressed up as a girl.

I wouldn't want to do, like, any guy on guy stuff. Right. And what did she say? She was kind of taking it back. Yeah. She was like, well, I kind of don't want to have a threesome. you know, I like having sex with you and stuff like. I was like, yeah, me too. I'm not saying that I don't like having sex with you.

Yeah. But I was just, if the opportunity were to ever present itself, then I want to be dressed up as a girl and, you know, have a threesome with a man with you. Right. And you can somehow, I don't know how you do it with if it's something where, because I worry about your computer usage, right? because like even if you never met a guy in person again,

if you're doing, you live with her, right? And you're doing some stuff online with people. Right. You can get busted that way too. You know, how can you bring that up into your relationship? Because I get her saying, I don't want to have sex with somebody else. I like having sex with you. I mean, she might never be down to have a three someone with another guy

because she might think you want her to be with the other guy. and she might not want anything to do with another guy. You'd probably be, it's easy for you to have a three-sum with her with a girl, right? But a guy might be a whole different story. Somehow she has to know that you want to be with that guy, but you don't want to scare her as well as this. You know, it's a tricky situation. Right.

But you... Yeah, definitely. What were you going to say? I was just going to say definitely tricky. Yeah, because you don't want to. her to get concerned and suspicious and worried

about you know who you really are what you're into and I think it's it makes sense that she would feel that way and I always explain that because some guys find that their girls are feeling what is all that fucking noise

I'll edit that out did you just turn your car on sorry hold on one second yeah one second I'm dealing with law enforcement you're kidding they stopped your car

Are you going to be a long time? No, he's just, I mean, it's just talking on the phone. Oh, but are you driving? I just pulled out and he was right by me. Oh, my God. Are you getting a ticket? It seems to be so. Oh, no, this is my first person.

I feel so bad. Oh, it's okay. How much are those tickets? I have no idea. About to find out, I guess. Oh, my God. that fucking sucks you know what I was thinking I'm gonna I'm not gonna edit this out I think it's kind of interesting in the podcast I was sitting here thinking is this fucking guy jerking off like that's what I was seriously thinking I was like no I was like he probably went out in it girls clothing and now he's getting turned on telling me this story so he just put me on mute to jerk off that's what I was thinking and instead no I've been talking to people for too long I've been doing my show for six years so I'm always thinking these things do you know what I mean yeah okay we have to uh

we have to uh we have to uh help this poor guy out I feel so bad for him that he got a ticket while he was talking to me in the car and most people I have to say are talking to me in their cars so I'm hope I'm maybe we set up a fund I don't think I'll do a go fund me but maybe we'll just do a fund here if anyone wants to donate money for him. The paper is ticket. Let me know and we'll figure it out. But I'm going to, he's going to call me right back, so I'll be right back on with Lela.

Did you get the ticket? What happened? Yeah, so he wrote the ticket. I kind of gave him the story as to why I have my dog in the car. I'm taking her to the vet. Uh-huh. And so I kind of played a sob story that, you know, my dog's sick. Because she is, she is sick.

This is the third, you know, hospital that she has in a week. but yeah he was like he pulled up behind me again as I'm like leaving the you know the stop the traffic stop and he pulls up you know asked me to roll down my window he was like hey you know you're a cool guy I'll just not turn the ticket in sorry you're dealing with that with your dog sorry well you're kidding no I'm not kidding at all so he didn't give you a ticket he gave me a ticket but he said he's not going to turn his in so that means you don't have to pay the ticket Right. How much was the ticket?

You don't know for like 90 days. Oh, is that the truth? So you don't know for 90 days? What the fuck does that mean? Well, he said, like, I'll have to look at the citation number in 90 days. And then it'll tell me to appear or pay a fine. Oh, but he said he's not handing it in. So don't worry about it then.

Then he picked. Right, yeah. So confused. Yeah, yeah. Because he had already given me the ticket, and then I pulled away from the traffic stop to head towards the vet. Yeah. And then he was still behind me. And then at a stop sign, he pulled up next to me and said, hey, sorry you're dealing with your dog.

I'm not going to turn in the ticket. Just stay off your phone while you're driving. Okay. So I'm confused. Do you have to take your dog to the vet now? Do you want to finish the rest of this tomorrow or later? No, no. There was no dog?

Yeah. That was a lie? We can finish. No, there is a dog. She's in here with me. But, I mean, she's fine. But thank God you to get the ticket. I remember where we were.

We were talking about you not being accepted. What I want to ask you about, right? Because we've about, you know, 15, 20 minutes left that I want to, and I have some questions for you. Does anybody know? Do you think she told any of her girlfriends? Did she tell you she told any of her girlfriends? Because a lot of times girls have like big mouths, right?

We can't keep her shit to ourselves. Like, I don't know. I might, if my guy, I found that out about my guy, I might go back and tell my best. friend that, you know, I don't know. Does anybody know about this or is this now your guy's secret? From what I know, it's our secret. She hasn't mentioned telling anybody or really wanting to tell anyone. But yeah, I mean, as far as people that know that like in my immediate life or just her and I,

and I mean, obviously like my online friends and stuff. Right. Now, that was my other question. And I wanted to just go into a little bit about that online community there. So where do you go, first of all, where did you meet that guy that you had that interaction with in February? Did you meet him on? On kick. On kick.

Okay. And how long did you talk to him before you got up the balls to meet him? Maybe like two days. How come you had never done it before? That's why I say balls. Because, I mean, this is something you've been into for a really long time. And that was the first time you met up with a guy, right? Yeah, just nerves, you know, being nervous to, you know, finally be with a guy, although it's something I've always wanted to try.

But, but yeah, I mean, I set up things in the past and, you know, either they flake or I flaked. And it's mostly just been like online flirting, sending pics and like sexting and stuff like that, occasional phone sex. but like nothing ever physical, which is what I wanted to experience, you know, as a girl. And, uh, and I just, you know,

saw the opportunity and then took it. Right. And now with that guy, have you guys been in contact? Is there any plans for you guys to meet up again? Are there any plans for you guys to meet up again? Um, no,

because afterwards he was kind of an asshole. So, oh, really? How come? Yeah. Um, just, like very pushy uh wanting wanting to like interfere with you know my because he knew i was in a relationship

uh he wanted to you know interfere with our relationship in a in a pushy way uh in what sense i've always i've like i said i've always wanted to uh have a three son as a woman um with a guy um but he was very pushy towards it like let me come over right now we can hang out and i'm just like dude like this isn't something that you can just come over and Yeah. What was his situation? Was he a single guy? Was he older than you? Was he around your age? Around my age, maybe a little older, but yeah, around my age. Single? Single? Yeah, but he was so unrealistic to think that you're just going to, you know, bring him over and have a three-stop with him, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he's like, he's like, tell her now and then I'll come over and we can do it. And I'm just like, she struggles with me like dressing as much as it is. Well, not really struggles, but like is in. like totally like on the same page as me like I'm slow I've been slowly like getting more into it

with her I can't just you know at the snap of a finger be like hey like let's get all dolled up and sexy and invite this guy I just know yeah because listen she I think the what's getting know him yeah of course and what's getting in the way for her is that fear that maybe you're gay maybe you're by maybe you want to transition you know all that stuff that she's brought up so and I get don't push it because you don't want that to continue. And it might take her a while before she feels secure and able to really let you be that way all the time without her worrying. Oh, is he going to, you know, have those same fears, right? Because and she's not wrong to feel that way because you do have those thoughts, right?

And you are seeing guys. She just doesn't know it. And you do have desires to be with guys. So it's like she's not wrong to feel that way. She doesn't know the whole story. Absolutely. Right. And now, because you didn't go all the way with that guy, is that something that you do have a fantasy for?

Do you see yourself as a top, as a bottom? Oh, I'm assuming a bottom. Semissive. Yeah. Yeah. When I dress up and get all girly, I'm totally so. Yeah, because you always have that butt plug in you, right? I mean, yeah, butt plug.

I'm locked in tacity. I mean, I love being locked in chastity. And when my girlfriend, like, when I dress with her, she always wears his strap on and, you know, fucks me with it. Right. While you have the Chastity belt on, right? And how long is the longest that you've kept that on? Will you keep that on? Were you?

It's a chastity cage. Oh, the cage, yeah, sorry. Yeah, it's not like a belt. The belt is for the girls. Right. Yeah. The longest I've had it on was three and a half days. Wow.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, I just had a guy on. Well, I have the one on. I just had the guy on that called up and did a big, long podcast just about chastity and, you know, wearing it and to tease and denial and stuff, you know, and somebody just wrote on YouTube, like, I loved this episode. Do you have any other ones? And it's funny because that guy who had, who called in about that topic also has a cuckolding thing and he called in to talk about a different topic. But we talked a little bit about the chastity device and stuff because he was, I think, the first person that I talked to that was highly into that. And I've talked to others. So that's a part of being submissive for you.

Definitely. Definitely. It just helps me like feel more feminine because I can't use my, my male parts. Right. And that's why you use the vibrator because it like moves it around. So you could still get a sensation, right? Exactly. Exactly.

So, you know, in your future, you don't, you do feel like you're going to be with a guy one day in real life, right? I mean, that's something, it's not something that you don't. Like, do you think you could be satisfied by just a woman for the next five years? Yeah, I mean, I'll always have that, you know, desire or fantasy to be with a guy, like, fully as a woman. But, yeah, no, like I said, I really do enjoy having sex with my girlfriend. I love being with her. Right, but isn't it apples and oranges? That's what I'm saying.

I mean, what I mean is, listen, your girlfriend accepts you. You've been having all this new fun with her, right, since she's caught you. But you still had the urge to go meet up with a guy in February. Because it's, like I said, it's apples and oranges. Being with her is very different. As a woman being with her is very different than you being a woman and being with a man. It's two totally different things. She can't really give you that.

And if you have those urges, what I'm saying is do you think that you could quote unquote suppress them, right? Because that's the word you used, you know, for forever. Or do you feel like it's something that you have to come clean with and have that as a part of your relationship because it's not going away? Yeah. Eventually, I hope to have it be a part of our relationship. Yeah. Yeah. Just just because I've always been super curious about what it's like to, you know, be fully sexually active as a woman and just, you know, being lusted over by men.

And, I mean, I experience that online all the time. Yeah. But, but yeah, it would be nice to experience that physically and just being like a total submissive to a more dominant man, you know, being manhandled, stuff like that. And now how do you look, like scale of one to ten, what are you as a girl, as Leila? How good do you look when you get really dressed up and makeup on? When I get fully dressed up, I'm like, I'm pretty passable, yeah. Yeah? I would probably say eight, nine, maybe ten.

Depends on you're asking, I guess. Right, right, right. But my personal, I think I'm hot when I dress up, yeah. All right. So you get a lot of guys our, like, what do you typically, like, who's typically looking for that cross-dressing, cross-dresser, or cross-dressed woman, right? I mean, who is it typically guys that are looking to hook up and exchange pictures with you, or is it other cross-dressers? I'd say in order it's probably guys first, mostly guys, then cross-dressers, and then women are trans girls.

Right. Okay, so women or trans girls or women that are trans girls? Both. So you have like, they call them cis women, right? Like regular women. Right. Yeah. Genetic women, cis women. Yeah.

Cis women are also on there looking for cross-dressing men. Not nearly as much, but yes. Of course. They are. Yeah. Right. And so you've interacted with all of the above. Mm-hmm.

Yep. Now, do you have desires to be with a transgender? Have you ever? Yeah, I have. Mm-hmm. I have once. Mm-hmm. This was before.

This was before my girlfriend. I was single at the time. Right. Now, was that in real life or just online? In real life. Okay. And so did you date that person? No, we just hooked up twice. Right, but it was a transgender woman. She was a female.

Right. Right. But she... A female with a penis, a small penis. Oh, a chick with a dick. Like, she hadn't had the full surgery, so she... No, no, no. Yes. Oh, okay. Now, did, was...

Did anyone know of her? about this relationship or was it a hookup? No, it was a hookup. Right, okay. And you met that person online? Tinder hookup, yeah. Okay, so that's kind of like being with a guy too, no? I mean, was that dick in your ass? No, I was, you know, presented as a man to her.

So I showed her pictures of me, like cross-festing, but I wasn't, when we hooked up, I wasn't a girl. She was the girl. She was the girl, yes. And what did you do with her sexually? we we we we just hooked up in my car mainly so we just we uh we made out uh like she sucked my dick and i mean i lived and sucked her sucked her a little bit but it was mostly her being like the simicist to me right but you didn't fuck her in the ass or did you i did yeah i did

the second time not the first time right okay so that's kind of but i mean i know that she's a transgender woman but she is a she's a guy down there right because she has she has a guy down there right because she has a penis? I'm confused, a little confused. So it's good. Yeah, yeah. She has a penis. She was on hormones.

And she had been on hormones for a while. She'd been, you know, openly trans for quite a while. So, I mean, hormones, she, like, didn't really get fully hard at all. Her, you know, balls and penis were somewhat smaller. Right. And her body was more like a woman. Right. Yeah.

She had, like, supple, like, breasts, like, not big, but, you know, they were, they were nice. Right. Okay, so that's interesting. So your girl doesn't know about, does she know about that hookup? No, right? Yeah, she does.

Oh, she does. She knows I hooked up with a transcript. She knows that, like, I hooked up with a transcript. She doesn't know, like, what we did. And she didn't ask, which means she doesn't really care. Right. Right. Yeah, your girl's super progressive and cool and open-minded.

Yeah, she's super good. Yeah, I get why she's a little nervous, and I get why you don't push. And I get what like I understand both sides of the story right and if she was I mean like I said if she was inside your brain and she knew She would realize that her fears are and They are warranted right because they're you do have desires For men but only as a female which is different right and and and I think that that's hard for Oh

anyone to understand it was very hard for me to understand it was very hard for me to understand understand, but I talk to enough guys now that have, that are cross-dressers that have explained it to me. You know, I've had a lot of those kind of episodes. So I understand it more now, but I think some people haven't even heard of it, right? Yeah, yeah. So this is definitely like her first time, like, delving into this world. So she's not, you know, by any means experience at all. And I'm definitely the only one she's, you know, been with as a cross-dresser or somebody that likes to present as feminine. And yeah, so it's just, it's, it's, it's tough to, to wrap her head around that, you know,

that while I might be manly and, you know, you know, dominant with her, uh, in my everyday normal life, I, there's a side of me that likes to be the submissive girl, girl and, um, you know, wants to experience sex with a man as a girl. Right. Yeah, totally. Let me ask you this because I forgot to ask you it before when I was asking you with scale of 1 to 10 as a female. What are you scale of 1 to 10 on as a guy? I think I'm more of more an attractive, more of an attractive female than I am a guy.

You sound kind of cute though. Like by voice, just by voice alone, I would think you sound attractive. You're saying you're not? You're not? No, no. I think I'm attractive. Yeah. I mean, on a scale of 1 to 10, I'm probably 7.

Seven. Yeah. Uh-huh. I mean, I've got long hair. I wear it up in a bun. I got so I got the man bun, the beard, you know, got the hair. Yeah, you sound like you'd have a man bun and a beard. Yeah, yeah. So I, I'm a pretty man. I'm not like jacked or anything, but I'm, you know, I'm, listen, you don't want to be jacked because I've had some other jacked cross-chesters and it's not a good look. I've strayed away from, you know, working out. Yeah. be lifting because I don't want to be jacked and you know when I dress I'd be a buff female so I mean yeah it doesn't work when I do work out like weight training I do like legs you know yeah and stuff like that core I don't I don't like bench press and do hellabies and tries and stuff like that yeah of course not because you want to stay you want to be able to to come across as feminine right correct yeah that's cool well you know I wonder where you know who you'll be 20 years years from now. We live in a very different world, you know. Oh, for sure. Yeah. And things just happen, you know, go change super fast. And I think eventually the stigma of being, of men, being

with men will become more normalized or just go away or whatever the correct way to say it is, you know, over time. And, you know, whoever you're with, whether you're with this girl or somebody else, you know, hopefully, eventually you'll be able to come clean about that side of you and have a, you know, integrated relationship with somebody where you could be all of who you are with one person. So you don't have to go and compartmentalize and live these lives that you, that you could listen to on my show of guys that are, you know, in their 50s that have never been able to be who they really are with their partner. Yeah. You know, right? Yeah, for sure. For sure. And as I dress up as a woman and I want that, you know, that man to,

you know have sex with me as as as I present as a woman and yeah have sex with me and my girlfriend together yeah uh like like I said that's always been a fantasy of mine and and I I want to have that man also you know please her because I mean as a woman I'm not you know necessarily looking to please her as a man I'm looking to be you know right woman and experience sex as a woman and so while we can please each other as as women together yeah um there are is that that male aspect of sex that, you know, because we both, you know, are identified more or less as straight, you know, we're in a straight relationship. Yeah. So, like, I can, I can see that she, you know, would like to have that straight, more dominant partner in bed while I'm a woman, you know, having that straight, more dominant partner as a woman myself.

Right. So you would want to see her. Like, that would be a turn on for you, right? So you do think, because I was thinking maybe she didn't, wasn't into having a guy. with her. You think she'd be into that as well? I mean, I would hope so. Yeah. But yeah, like I would like to see her, you know, be with a guy who's more manlier than I am

and somebody who can take us both as women. Yeah, because that's like living your fantasy. It's kind of projecting it onto her as well as experience it and at the same time. So it's like doubly good for you. Yeah. Right? Now, my last question, You know, all these guys that you talk to you, all these other cross-dressers, I mean, I'm assuming that besides sending pictures back and forth and sexting, that you guys do probably have friendships and you talk to these people as well about just being a cross-dresser.

Like, do you find that most of these people are living it as a secret life? Are you the lucky, the rarer one that is, you know, out and proud about it with your girlfriend or most of the, or a lot of these guys open with their partners? with their partners? There's a few that are open with their partners. More so, like, I've found recently a few more male and female couples that have shared the same interests as I do. And, you know, I've actually recently been talking to one on Instagram. Her and her husband may kind of in the same boat as me and my girlfriend.

But there's a few that I do talk to that have similar experiences where the husband or boyfriend crossdresses and they're open to their sexual partners, but not so much open in public. But yeah, for the most part, it's cross-stesters that are fairly closeted. Yeah. They go out to LGBT bars with maybe other cross-dressers and stuff like that, but don't like go out doing their day-to-day tasks. a woman. Yeah. Now, do you and your, has your girlfriend ever gone out with you as a female? Have you guys ever done something crazy like that and got in your car? Yeah. Yeah, we've talked about it.

And I've, I've told her, uh, I want to gain a little bit more confidence as a woman to be able to go out. But like I said, I would, I would much rather go to like an LGBT bar or a restaurant, something like that. Right. Rather than, and I mean living in, in LA, like going to like West Hollywood or something. So if I were to do that, I would go out with her. She mentioned maybe doing something like that for Halloween this year. Oh, yeah, that would be perfect. What about ever, you know, if somehow you could be open and honest about, you know,

the people that you've met online and maybe, you know, that couple that's very similar to you. Yeah, I plan on introducing. Yeah, I think that could. So that couple, yeah. Yeah, I think that could open up with conversations. It's not like you could have a foursome with them because that's that guy is also a cross-dresser right you want a real masculine man as that third person So it's not like that he could be the one to join in but I feel like getting having her have a friend that has You know the same kind of situation and maybe if that guy has talked to it with her I mean somehow that

You know I feel like it just opens up the conversation to be more and she could feel more comfortable maybe maybe learn from that girl or they could talk to each other, right? That's what I talk to more so with this, this wife. I've been, I talked to both her and her husband. Yeah. Obviously, they have an Instagram account together. Yeah.

But I've talked with the wife about, you know, introducing her to my girlfriend. Yeah. And so they can, you know, share their experiences and, you know, their own girl talk. And maybe they can have girl talk with, with her cross-dressing husband. Yeah. Now, do you know if they, um, if they, have ever had a threesome themselves or does she know that he's been with guys or has he ever been? Do you know if they're?

Yeah, I don't, I don't know. We haven't gotten that far in our conversation yet. But we've mainly just been super cordial and just like, you know, I talk to her as I'm one of the girls. And so like we, that's how we've been talking and kind of talking about how I got started cross-stressing, what I'm interested in, and how she found out with her husband and stuff like that. Yeah, that would be cool. Yeah, I think you need to make that connection. Then she'll know that you have some people online that you talk to that could, you know. I kind of alluded to that.

Yeah, that's good. Yeah, that's good. So she'll, you know, and like I said, that could lead to the fact that you've talked to other people so you don't have to worry about the online stuff. And then eventually if she has someone that she could talk to because it, you know, listen, I'm a type of person that would tell. I said, oh, I would tell one of my girlfriends. But I'm like, I got a big mouth and I'm very open about stuff. I think most people would probably keep that on the down low and not tell anybody. And then it's hard for her to sit there and think about it.

I have a woman that calls me like as and does, because I do some consulting on the side. And I have a woman that would call me on the down low because she found out that her boyfriend was very into trans people. You know, and, and there was a lot of porn and I think that she found out that he slept with him. And she's always so curious, you know, and she's always asking it to. talked to the guys that I have on the show that are similar to him because she's just trying to get in his head and understand, you know, because she's kind of sitting there alone with this. And she doesn't know because she's not the guy and she's not in his head, but she's always trying to get into his head, you know.

But I think it's very helpful if you have another woman who's going through the same thing and maybe has longer time involved in it and is further down the line and could explain to her like, oh, yeah, I was really nervous at first, but this is, you know, after a while you'll feel this way and that I think that could be super helpful for her yeah absolutely absolutely and I mean seeing this seen this couple that I that I've been chatting with yeah everybody's story is a little bit different but I mean you see a lot of you see a lot of parallels to like you know how you you kept it you kept it under wraps and how it affected you maybe like in in your real like male life just you know keeping that hidden and for so long and just you know how it's made you

maybe a little depressed or just like irritable. Yeah. And yeah, so we definitely have some of those same like characteristics, me and the other cross-dressing girl. Yeah, that's perfect. And she's going to have the same things that are completely different from you guys,

but her and that woman, the partners are going to have the same experience because the same thing like you guys did and that will be helpful for her. So that's great. So I, you know, I just hope, like I said, You got caught too many times, and I don't want to see you get caught in the future. So, you know, try to open up those conversations with her and let her know so that you don't.

And I wouldn't go behind her back with guys anymore because you just might get busted and you don't want to lose this girl because you're the lucky. You're one of the lucky ones. I am definitely one of the lucky ones. Yeah. There's a lot of, you know, cross-stairs out there. I child with that would, you know, die to be in my shoes. Yeah. And you don't want to mess it up.

Like your mother was able to like pretend she didn't see what she saw, but your girlfriend, it won't be that way. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, so good luck. If you ever do wind up telling her or it comes up and, you know, I would love to know what her reaction is or if you ever have that threesome, keep me posted. But thanks so much for calling in and sharing your story. It was super interesting. Yeah, thank you for listening. Yeah, no, and I'm so glad you didn't get a ticket so I don't have to do it, go fund me for you.

Yeah, that would have been funny. I know. I'm going to keep it in, though. You're going to hear it in the middle of the podcast. I think it's kind of interesting, so I'm not going to edit it out. Yeah, it adds a little suspense and some parody to it. Yeah, it's funny. All right.

Anyway, Leigh, oh, wait, real quick question, Leila. I change everyone's voices, and people always were like, oh, why didn't you change that guy's voice to be higher because he was a girl? You know, typically it sounds better when I make people's voices deeper because when I make them too loud, they sound a little chipmunky. But I will try to make your voice higher because you're Leila. Oh, I appreciate it. Okay, but if I don't make it, it's only because it's typically easier and sounds more normal when I change the pitch to be deeper.

When I change the pitch to be higher, people tend to sound like a chipmunk as opposed to a person, you know, but I'll do my best to make you sound more like Layla. Okay. Oh, I appreciate that. Thank you. All right. All right. All right. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Okay. that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available not only in paperback and e-book, but you can pre-order the audiobook.

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This is the Strictly Anonymous Podcast.