Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 348 - Doug Explains What Being Bisexual Really Means

Episode Date: August 10, 2020

Doug calls in to explain what being bisexual really means and he also discusses what it's like to date as a bisexual, black man. What exactly does it mean to be bisexual? Why do most people (including me) get it wrong? What are the issues bisexual people face when dating and is it worse for black men? Tune in to find out plus hear all about his dating experience including how women have reacted to him being bisexual, why being monogamous and bisexual confuses most people, why he thinks it is worse because he's black, what his ideal future looks like and a whole lot more. Hear the most bizarre stories about how technology is shaping our culture on Wild Wild Tech **To see anonymous pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. The Craigslist is definitely like the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Santerport, Thailand. You can't not do it.

The temptation is just too much. It's real problems. Do your friend know that you're banging her or no? No, he has no idea. And anything goes. The motto of the show, let your freak flag fly. Probably the only good advice I'll ever give you is to rehire. your wits and chain. Here is your host, Kathy.

Hey, welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast with Kathy. If you want to follow the Strictly Anonymous podcast on Instagram or Twitter, follow the show at Strict Anonymous. If you want to be on the show, if you want to call in while remaining totally anonymous, everyone on this show is anonymous, including me. But you could also remain anonymous. Call in, talk about your naughty life, your secret life. Or if you have a problem when you need unprofessional good advice because I think I give good advice, but I'm unprofessional. Send me, oh, no, go to my website, strictly anonymous podcast.com and click on be on the show or send me an email, strictly not on this podcast at gmail.com and click on or send me an email

there and I'll send you a link and you could schedule a time to call in. If you want to join my Patreon, I set up a Patreon. I love Patreon. There's a big Panicose tier there and anybody that's into Panis or should fucking join because there's a lot of interesting content on there. I just did a roundtable where I talked to my sister and my cousin while they were wasted, drunk, sort of buzzed. I talked all about pantyhoes with them.

And it was like, the minute I left the room and let them talk, it was fascinating. So if you want to hear that and get a lot of other pantyho's episodes, Pantyos reviews, all that kind of good stuff. Join my Pantyhose tier at $7 a month. You're supporting the show. Like I said, you're getting that extra content. I have two other tiers for regular listeners. There's a $3 tier where you go.

get all my shows, my weekly shows, three days early. You get them on Friday at noon as opposed to Sunday night at 830. You also get a monthly Q&A that I do about myself, about the show. It's really interesting scoopage on there. There's a ready two-up, one for July, one for August. You could join up for $5. And with that tier, you get early access, I mean, early, yeah, early access to my episodes. You get the Q&As, and you also get extra episodes. All my part-toos are now aired there unless the part two includes a female guest. Female guests always go on the regular channel but remember Jamie the guy who uh was by and his girlfriend accepted him I think I did I say this on my last one well he's got did a part two he's not so happy with that girlfriend anymore and it was

very soon after like he became unhappy after we talked so that's an interesting episode that's posted there as well as other part two's remember that guy who called in and said he did his wife fucked his aunt well he did a part two and he fucking doubled down on that stuff that incest, his incest stories. There were like incest story galore, glore on his part two. But so all my part twos are on my $5 chair on Patreon. Go to patreon.com slash strictly anonymous podcast and sign up.

What else? Okay, so today, what the fuck is the guy's name today? I forget what his name is. Oh, wait. His name is Doug, Doug, okay. So Doug called in, or he wrote in first. And he was like, listen, I'm a listener. of your show and I don't like how you talk about or what you, how you define bisexual, bisexuality, right?

And you know, he wasn't the first person to bring that up and I was like, oh, you know, because I've talked to a lot of bisexual quote unquote guys on the show and I always give my idea of what I think it means and all that good stuff. And this guy was here to call me out and say like, you don't have it right at all. And I want to explain. what bisexual really means. And he was right. I was totally wrong. I had a guy, it was really funny

because right after he wrote in and said that and we taped his conversation, I had another guy write in and say, hey, I want to come on the show and help you get it straight. I taped one with him too. That'll be airing a couple weeks from now. But that's what we discuss on this with Doug.

Doug is a bisexual guy. He explains, like I said, the difference between what I thought bisexual was and what it really means. He talks about how the difficulties that come about because of being bisexual. Am I talking fucking right today? I don't think so, but I don't feel like re-taping this on the intro. So I'm just going to leave it.

So he talks about the issues that he faces as a bisexual guy. He talks more general. I try to get personal with him, but he wouldn't go there. And not because I think he was avoiding going there, he didn't want to talk about himself. I didn't get that or I would have called him out on it. It was more so because I think he had a purpose to call in and his purpose was just to help me understand

what it means to be bisexual and also help me in the audience understand the issues that bisexual people have. And it's super interesting. And like I said, I mean, I typically like my show to be much more personal and I peel back the layers on my guess. This one we talk more general and we just talk all about

bisexuality, the definition of it, the problems that are, you know, the problems that bisexual people have and the problems they encounter whether it's a black or white issue. He talks a lot about that because he happens to be

black and he believes that it's more so a problem for him to find somebody to date because he's bisexual. So anyway, I think if you've been listening to my podcast for a while and you've always been frustrated with my idea of what bisexual means, this will make you feel a lot better. You won't be yelling at me on this call. So anyway, I'm going to be right back on with Doug. How are you today?

I'm good, Kathy. How are you? I'm good. So you wrote in, and one of the first things you said was that you kind of had a bone to pick with me about the whole, like, like how I define bisexual people, right? Like it irritates you. I'm assuming you're bi, right? And I love when somebody, I mean, listen, I could always be wrong.

I almost kind of like being wrong because it humbles me, you know, and it's fine. And then I know that I have the whole by kind of argument with a lot of people and I definitely have an idea of what I think about it. So I'd love to hear what you as a bisexual guy believes is truly the way to. explain it and to prove me completely wrong. Sure, no problem. So I want to start off this, I'm a huge fan of the show. The only times I would ever get, like, caught up is when I'm like, oh, the way she described that.

I was fine. No, not really. No. Like, no, no, no. Well, listen, that probably means that a lot of other people are. That's why I'm glad you're coming on to maybe talk, you know, and say something that other people have been thinking as well. Yeah, because there's a lot of stigma for,

there's a lot of stigma on, on, uh, put on bisexual people, men and women. I used to think there was just men, but it's actually women too. And so I wanted to really kind of get into that way we can,

people can have them more well around is understanding. Because we're misunderstood by everyone. And obviously me too. Well, well, let me ask you this. Is it more so that the, wait,

were you going to just say? I was going to say, I don't know if you know it, and we'll get into it. But, you know, they say in LGBT, like the bee is silent. Because we don't even have a place there. Yeah, no, that's what I, that's exactly what I was going to say. Like, I think it's a lot of it comes from that community, right? More so than the straight community?

I don't know. You tell me. You're going to explain it. No, no, it comes from both really well. We get a lot from the straight community as well. And I just recently found out that a lot of by-girls have issues because a lot of men, that, oh, well, you're biased something you must want to have a three son with me

and someone with a girl. They're like, no. Right. But anyway, so let me get into, I guess, the main thing. So in one of your last call, you had said to this guy, well, you know, you're just sexually attracted to the,

you're biased, so you're just sexually attracted. Right. So you're not, so you're not romantically attracted to a guy. Otherwise, that would make you gay. And the, but the truth of the matter is, is that being bisexual is not just about sexuality. It's about who you retracted to, whether it's, whether it's sexual or emotional.

Because, like, and for some reason, when we talk about heterosexuals or homosexuals, we don't just think of them in terms of sex. Like, if you're a heterosexual, nobody, I don't know anybody that says, okay, well, that just means you want to have sex with somebody the same. Or, like, if you're a man, oh, you're a heterosexual man, meaning you want to have sex with women, but you want to be romantically. you can be romantically with a guy. Like that's not like, but that's not,

it really is about, the bottom line is that it's really an attraction. Yeah, there are white people out there. It's all a spectrum, right? So yeah, you have five people out there that are not, that are, really, it is just about sex with them. And they really don't want to be with some, some of the same sex, okay, fine.

If you cross your finance, it's fine. But within that, and I would submit to you that the majority of, by people are really monogamous relationship, people that can be in a relationship with a man or woman. So I might be sexually attracted to a guy, but I might, but, you know, but if I wanted to be in a, and if I was in a relationship with him, it would make me gay because I could break up with him and then be in a relationship with a woman. You see what I'm saying? Yeah, but I thought that there was another word for that, meaning fluid, right? Like somebody who, like there's homosexual, right? There's

heterosexual. There's bisexual and then there's fluid. Somebody who could be either with a man or a woman romantically sexually like the whole shebang. So what you're saying though is say there's three things. There's homosexual, bisexual, and heterosexual. And that bisexual in the middle

it's not just about sex. It's about being homosexual sometimes and heterosexual sometimes, right? I mean that would make more sense if you had just those three words, right? yeah we don't even like to define it like okay well sometimes we're homosexuals sometimes or how to it's just the bottom line is that like you know if i it it's just the bottom line is okay i'm bi i could be in relation that means i'm sexually attracted to both and i could be and i'm romantically both now again that's the majority of us not all of us but you know some are really just about

you know sex and that's you know that's okay um but the term fluid though actually is really more of like a, a, it's, a lot of it's very generational too, because like, now, because I'm, I'm in my, I'm in my early 30s. So, um, so I still come from that millennial era where we still try to define everything by, you know, not, not, we try to define things simply, but apparently it's not so. So when you, but when you get, like, you have a million words for things now. There are so many more. No, no. Well, again, the people that really seem to come up with that are like the young, young, young, young, millennials straight to enter the, I guess what you call them, Gen Z or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, the newer. Yeah, yeah, younger than you.

Yeah, they're the ones that have embraced so much this whole fluid aspect. And when you're fluid, it doesn't necessarily mean, or what that makes you buy. Fluid can mean, like, I mean, just think about all the people that have called it to your show. Like, you've had someone that says, well, I don't like, I don't like men, I don't like hairy arms on this, but I love to suck. Well, that's sexually fluid because you really don't necessarily. in any of the three main categories, but you're definitely not straight or gay. You're somewhere in between

somewhere and there, and so that's at least sexual anyway, so it makes you sexually fluid. So your show is a great representation of what it means like to be sexually fluid because you have all kinds of people and just things that you can't box into, okay, straight, gay, lesbian. You know what I mean?

Please, and every time I mean, like right now, like I've heard a lot of guys that have this thing where they like to dress up as a woman and be with a man, but they don't want to be with a man as a man. They want to be with a man when they are a woman, and it's a very different. And so it's like, that's like a whole new way to look at things.

And I'm always, and like I would say like three years into my show, I hadn't heard from anybody that was into that. And now I hear a lot of that. And that's like a whole other aspect. And like you said, yeah, like, I mean, how could you figure out a term for each one of these things? There's so much on the spectrum, right? I mean, I posted something on Instagram yesterday, which was pansexual.

And I think it says something like when you love a person for who they are, not what they are. So I'm like, then is pansexual, bisexual the same? Like, it's kind of confusing, right? No, no, no, right. So the difference between pansexual and bisexual is that bisexuals are attracted to men or woman, one of the other, or me are both. Pansexual, it doesn't matter whether you identify as male, female, if you're trans. It doesn't matter what you are. It doesn't matter where you file.

Yeah. And another term was from that, I believe, when I studied it in college, was like, Omnis Sexual 2, so Pan and Omni. You know, but, you know, I got to say, though, I think the younger generation, and in the order, they, it seems like they're, they've overcorrected now, because now there are a million different terms. And if you don't subscribe, you don't say it, right, they bite your, they bite your head off or they expect you to, you know, like with the whole,

And you know that not only is a sexual fluid, there's also gender fluid, which is really out there. I mean, no judgment, but it's like, okay, so if you're gender fluid, they're like, well, I may feel like a man one day or a female next day. I mean, like, oh, they're calling themselves it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, they're an it. Well, no, don't even say, oh, well, don't call me he, call me Z. Right. And it's like, there's only so much time the fucking day, okay? No, I know.

I have to get, I have to get, I have to think sometimes about my. titles like recently I put tranny in the title but like and that's a word that I grew up with that was okay and the guy who was on specifically said like I have a lot of friends who are transsexual and they they don't mind the word tranny you know so I used it in that title but I feel like there probably a lot of younger people that are offended by that there are right there are yeah it's the generational thing again because I still grew up with hearing training all the time and but like on that on there's one show of tales from the city or whatever this young gay guy I was getting into an argument with these older gay guys and he was upset because they used the word tranny and they're just like, are you kidding me?

And he's like, it's not out of sense of. So it's generational. But I think they're just going too far. Well, my thing is be whoever you want to be, but don't put so much of a burden on other people to now conform to every little thing that you want to do. Right. You know, because like if I only got two hours and I'm running from this meeting to the next, if you look like you got two breasts, and you wearing lipstick, if I accidentally call you a woman, don't, don't protest me because that's what you look like, you know? Right. So I think they do a little too much. But, yeah, but see, so back to the bye thing.

Yeah. It's really, you know, being by, oh, and I would just say one thing. I think a lot of your callers, Kathy, before I, I've always been fascinated by sexuality, and before your podcast, I was pretty much like, okay, I knew how I thought about things or what cause now when I hear some of the shit, people say when they call into your show, I feel like, I just feel like when,

because people, you know, I, okay, more close-minded people might think, oh, well, like for the dude who likes to get dressed and get, you know,

as a cross-dress or whatever, like they might, there are people that say, oh, well, you're just, you don't want to, you want to pretend that you're not attracted to men

because of how you grew up, whatever your expectations are, whatever. And that very well could be true. They may not even be lying to you. They may be lying to themselves. Or they may not be lying to themselves. And that's just what they are and what they're into.

And so I've kind of just, it's kind of just blown up any and everything that I could have reasoned through. And the bottom line is, you will never know. They may never know. All they know is what their reality is. When they call your show and I'm listening to them, some of the guys, I'm like, okay, all this stuff that you're saying, you could have had an upbringing or a bad experience that probably made it to where you can suck a dick but you were just so turned off by seeing a naked man anywhere else who are doing that or maybe not maybe really it is whatever it is but again that's for them to do that right so you're saying that maybe sometimes there there could be guys that have to like they

can't be with a guy like what I just said before there's some guys like they could only be with a guy as a woman right but you're saying that maybe that person has it's because they're so afraid to be sort of in touch with that part of them like the man in them that actually does want to be with the man so they have to dress up as a woman and a mask it so they don't sort of face themselves is that what you're saying well that was kind of a well that actually that doesn't make sense but that was kind of a that's kind of a bad example I used I guess a better one would be if you have a guy saying like oh well I just love sucking dude that's off, but nothing else about men is attractive.

Oh, I have a lot of those. Yeah, I have a lot of those. Exactly, right? Yeah. Exactly. That always blows my mind. And I had to, well, see, I always have to think back and I'm thinking, because sometimes I listen, I'm just like, you could be lying to Kathy and not even really knowing it or you could be lying to yourself. Yeah, for sure. If you haven't done, yeah, if you haven't taken the time to really examine and accept and be okay with what it is.

And just, you know, and be open to the fact that maybe you would be attracted to the whole part of a man that you focused on this and fixed your mind to feel this way so you can justify it. Yeah, for sure. Then there are other times when I listen to these guys and I'm just like, no, maybe you didn't have an experience. And maybe you're just somebody who loves being so submissive and just the idea. And if you see a big, big dick or a big black dick, whatever it is that you just be like something in your mind goes, damn, that is too big. that like that is too big for me not to for me to not to get a hold of that just be like all right man I'm not I'm gonna you know I don't know I don't know I definitely think the guys that are like oh I don't like men I just like dicks in my mouth but I'm like I think I remember a conversation recently what I'm

like but like a guy has a dick so if you like dicks it's a man like I mean you can't sort of say that that's not that you are you aren't into guys and I definitely do think that there are older guys. I think like you say, the younger generation is a lot more open and stuff, and I say that too. You know, older guys, I think a lot of them can't say, definitely, and I think I call them out on this, that they can't sort of admit that they're into guys because they're so afraid of what that would say or mean, and a lot of that is not so much their upbringing in their own little tiny family. It's more so the society that they grew up in. You know what I mean? Like, what does that mean? Does that mean that they're gay? And then what does that mean that there's not a

real man quote unquote you know because i've said to people on my show like i think it's almost insulting to gay men how you how you sort of deny your desires right because like why is it so bad to be gay you know what are you afraid of you know it's so to me it's almost like a diss to people and i find that that's like it's it's it's not cool right but i think that people that are older are a lot older than you definitely have some of that because of society, you know? But. But you know what, though?

As much as I agree with you, it's just, I've just kind of to let go and realize that because of some of the shit I've seen and heard in the past, I don't know, a few years, especially on your show and it's like, this is very possible that like, because to me, tradition, traditionally I'd be like, okay, if you like wearing panty homes

and you like wearing women's clothes and everything, how are you not somehow wanting to, because I know there's something, you got a whole fucking, load of panty-hose people. I'm like, damn. I did not know there were that many out there. Yeah, I'm starting a whole step.

Like on my Patreon page, I'm setting up a whole tier of just for the panty-hose people because I'm going to have a lot of stuff on there because I have so many panty-hose guys wanting to call in my show. And I don't like to do the same topic all the time, you know, but I can literally tape a panty-hose guy every day and be, okay. And the guys love hearing everybody's stories. It's just a very popular fetish. There's a lot, like, I always tell all my guy friends.

you're a guy you've got friends like there's out of your whole group of guy friends there's a couple there like maybe two out of ten that are into it because it's so common I'm telling you yeah and I'm at I'm like damn another pay-holes okay all right

let's see what this is going let's I have to look in your description to see how spicy is going to be to see it's worth my time but anyway but yeah but yeah so it's so but with the whole um the buy thing it's just really there's so much

stigma on us that it's really hard for us to. Well, first of all, going back again, if a guy sometimes maybe, I don't know, maybe people like something lollipops and pops people so much that maybe the guy really just wants to fuck a bit. I have no idea and I just stopped judging it. I just said that, you know,

this is, everybody's into their own thing. But I would say for being by- though, it is one of the most hardest, most difficult things to be because I've had experiences where, like, so I'll talk to you about from the straight side, and in the LGBT community from the straight side.

And I'm black too. But yeah, let's talk about your, let's talk about it from your point of view, right? Because you're giving your opinion, like in a broad sense. But I want to hear about you because I know that you said that it's very difficult to be a black bisexual man, you know? And that's why a part of why you wanted to explain it. But I think it's going to come across and be even more interesting when you explain it, like how you see it as you instead of like brother's picture, you know? Yeah. Yeah.

I was going to get to that. So like with me, for instance, like, I would tell you that I hear it every day and they don't, the women don't know what I'm listening. I hear it every day when women talk about, oh, I couldn't be with a byman, couldn't be a boy in by man. But the reality is, like I said, men, like for me, like I am a monogamous man. I'm a good man. I could provide. I can have a great man.

but I can have everything on everything, and yet there was a girl I asked. I said, so let me just ask you this. So let's say I was, you know me and you know that. Like I could provide everything for you. I would be perfect dude. I would even make it so that you had the password to my phone, my email, all this stuff, that you could, all of it. And so you wouldn't have to worry about anything.

Would you still be with me, knowing that I'm buying? She said, honestly, I don't think so. And I'm like that, and that was like a gut punch. I'm like, are you fucking kidding me? If I check all the boxes and yet that's still not enough to you because a lot of women have in their mind that, oh, well, number one, there's the issue of, oh, somehow I'm less of a man. And then those who don't think that think, oh, well, I have to now, I'm not only not to compete with women. I have to compete with men, which I'm not that kind of guy. I'm the kind of guy where if I'm with you, I'm with you.

I know, but I have to tell you, I know, but I have to tell you, and I don't think that this is a black or white or male or female thing. I'm just saying that just a human being, if they're going into a relationship and falling in love with someone, that's when you're like the most vulnerable. They can't read your mind, right? They don't know for sure. Like you could say anything you want that you're like really monogamous. Nobody really knows. You know what I mean? Like you know because you're you, but like that person's on in your head.

And when they think it's not about that they have to compete. It's about that it's about feeling like there with somebody that they'll never be able to give them what they need. You know what I mean? Like how if I'm a woman, right? And I need a guy that's by and he's like, but I'll never go with guys. I'm going to feel like he's going to really want to. And how if I can't be, I'm not a man, I can't satisfy that need. So there's always going to be that sort of insecurity to think like, you know, if I'm that.

girl that doesn't want you to be with men, right? That they're going to be, that you might want astray because I'm not going to be able to give you what you really want. And I think that there's a lot of that involved in it. So let me respond to that because I listen to the callers on your show. And based on the

experiences you've had with callers on your show, I totally understand how you would come to that reason. But let me just say this though. Personally, I think a lot of the callers that abide in there are like, oh, well, I have to satisfy this urge. I have to satisfy the other. other side. No, you really don't. Life is about

choices. And I'm sure that even if you're in the head of sexual relationship, there might be some things that your man is into or likes that you don't, or that you don't do. But that doesn't necessarily mean that they're going to do it. And you don't have the same level of anxiety. I mean, how many times if you're in a relationship. No, but let me ask you about your life specifically. You're 30, early 30s, right? What's the law? Are you in a relationship right now?

Not right now, no Okay. What's the longest relationship that you've ever been in? A year and a half. Right. So a year and a half, you could be with a, was it with a woman or a man? With a woman. Okay.

But like, so for a year and a half, you were able to be with a woman and never be with a man. But, like, you don't know how you're going to be. A lot of times the callers that I'm talking to are people that have been with someone for 15 years. You know what I mean? they're not somebody, it's not a guy that's saying like, oh, I couldn't keep my fucking dick from being sucked by a guy for a year and a half. You know, 10 years, 15 years down the line, you're with your wife and you're a bisexual guy and you have those urges. That's, it starts to come up. Most of the guys say that they could keep it under wraps for a while,

but then the urge comes up. And I think you're most of the time hearing from people who are in relationships and locked down with one sex for a, a little. a really long time. And so I don't know that you really know how you would be, you know, with a woman for 10 years. Well, here's the thing, though, because I do know by people that are, I do know by guys that are in relationships with women that have been in relationships longer than 10, 15 years. And, you know, they, he, a friend of mine views things like I do. This is the way I look at it when it comes to, because I think it has everything to do with approach. I don't base my, what, these are the things, the things I need in my life of food, shelter, and intimacy and love, right?

So I don't need, but so I place more emphasis. And when I go into a relationship and if I would be married, I would focus on how much I can give to my other partner and how much they can give to me. And so when we make that, especially when it comes to sex, when we make that the core of saying, okay, I'm going to give this to you of me. and you give this to me of you, it becomes less about, well, how do I satisfy this urge or this need? It becomes more about you and me and what we can do for each other.

And so personally, I think that a lot of the guys don't come in with that, that a lot of people shoot in general don't come in with relationships like that. When they think of sex, it's about what can I get out of this? And if I can't get out what I'm not getting and need, I need to find it elsewhere. And I think that if you go,

you model your relationship like that, eventually those urges are going to take over because that's what you prioritize other than how you, what you give to the woman that you're with or to the man that you're with. And these people that go behind their spouses, facts or whatever, and they blank behind the sexuality, everybody has their own choice of what to do. I don't judge people. If you cheat, you cheat that's on you. But don't try to make it seem like, oh, well, because I have to satisfy this urge or I have to come this way and she's not going to do that. Nobody has to come. We live, and I know you've mentioned that before on the show, but in my view, in my opinion, nobody actually has to come. That's the choice that you make because people have accidents

all the time, things that happen to them. One of my best friends, he can't get it up anymore. He can't, you know, come. He can, but he has, he has satisfying experiences, you know. So people, if people say, I need to come. this way or I need to do that. That's what their body. That's what their mind is going to take them to. I don't think that way. And I know other people who are by him and I'm not going to say, I don't think that way. And whether you're straight or gay or lesbian, if you're going to cheat, you're going to cheat if you're not, you're not, you know. But I don't judge people because you never. Yeah. Right. So I was just saying, I don't judge people because you never know what

because you never know. Like you said, I never know what would cause what problems that I have in my life that may cause me to go astray this way. I'm like, I don't think I would. But I don't know. And that's why I don't judge people, but I wouldn't hide behind my sexuality to do that. Being by is not like you're on drugs or something or your shoulder or something. You get the urge and it's like an addict. For me, it's as simply as it boils down to I'm interested in you. I'm attracted to you.

I'm in love with you. This is what I want. Even if I felt incomplete, because I'll be honest with you, there is an incompleteness that I itself only because I'm always looking for the perfectness or the perfect that I'm always projecting. So if I'm single and I don't know, and I can be attracted to any man or female is kind of like, okay, what is what is the perfect vision for me? So sometimes there's an incompleteness. But again, when I'm like a woman, I'm not thinking, oh, yeah, I wish I had a dick right now. It's better than this vagina.

Or I need some dick with my vagina. It's not like you need a cocktail, you know, a Roman Coke or something. It's just, I love you. I love everything about you and your body and I am into you. Right, because it's not about it. And what you keep saying is it's not just about sex, right? I'm going more towards, oh, there's that sex thing. And so if you're, if you have that sort of attraction and openness,

you're going to be like thinking about dicks all the time when you're saying it's, no, it's more like you're about the person. So if you're with a woman at that time, you're with a woman. Have you ever, let me ask you this, have you ever dated a guy? Yeah. And how long did you date the guy for? A couple months, two months. Mm-hmm.

And now. And I've done it more than once. But let me ask you this. When did you, like, first of all, when did you realize that you were by? Like, how young were you that you were aware? They're very, well, I was aware about little things that didn't. And this is why I also think that sexuality can and will evolve over time as we grow. Because for me, it was just little things like, you know, like, things that I would enjoy or things that I would enjoy

or things that I would be around, like, you know, hanging out with a lot of, I hung out with a lot of girls, or there would be things or things that I would, what I would, I can't even think of them, but just little clues. And then in my teen years before I actually came up with a, before I actually used the name for it, I, you know, I knew. So in my, in my teenage. Right. And now, did you lose your virginity?

Like, how old were you when you lost your virginity to a girl? And then how old were you when you lost your virginity of a guy? Yeah. 17 with a girl and I was 20 with a dude. And now, do most people in your life know that you're bisexual or is it a totally private thing? Only a few people. Does your family know? Some.

And what I was going to say, the racial aspect of it, right? So what makes it even harder being black is that so, and I did all kinds of women. It doesn't have to just be black. But not only do my mother. most white, not only the most women not date, when it was by, 98% of black women would not date a, a, man. I know that to be true. And so, and the ones that do are usually the ones that are in the younger generation that, you know, live in this world of polyamory. And I'm not saying they all do, but, you know, like the ones, they're usually okay with a, when a bi, black guy,

they're like, oh, okay, well, no, that's cool. So are we going to be polyamorous? So we're going to invite somebody in. It's like, like, whoa, whoa, no, I may be that way, but I'm still another person. I'm not, that doesn't mean what you might think. And I'm glad you asked about like the dick from the gay guy side because so with the LGBT community, a lot of those gays look at bimon and think, oh, wait, you hear this all the time. Them and women say, oh, you're just being greedy. It's not like, oh, I got to have this. I got to, it's not like you need a buffet. Yeah. You know, I mean, you're going to have, I mean, you will have, I mean, you will have those people out there in every

category. But the majority of us, I mean, there's a whole Reddit page to our community. And we kind of share a lot of stories and a lot of heartbreak and things like that and all the misconceptions. And is that where you found out that there

was women that felt that with the bisexual women feel the same way? Yeah. Yeah, because I always thought they had it more, well, I still think they have it easy. But I always thought that they had it like, you know, like it was never an issue. for a lot of women's just because I might be into women doesn't mean that I want to be with three people or I want to have a be polyammer or so whatever I'm just letting and I get it trust me I get the

you know go down on a girl in front of you so you could get your fucking rocks off right yeah yeah and I'm not completely naive I mean I get the idea that because when it comes to I thought about what would be like for me to buy girls and I have reservations too because you just you never know but at the same time it's like You never know what? What would your reservation? You never know. My resume.

I never know if she might if I might not be enough. Duh. At the end of the day. So you feel the same way? No, no, no. But that doesn't stop me from being open. No, no, no. But let me ask you.

If you met a bye girl tomorrow and she said I'm by, but I'm totally monogamous, like would you date her? Absolutely. Okay, cool. Okay. I thought for so excited. Absolutely.

Okay. No, I'm just acknowledging the apprehension. Right. You understand it. Uh-huh. Yeah, you understand it. Yeah. Yeah.

But that's why I gave the scenario like, and I gave it to my friends. It was a girl. I said, but if I checked all the boxes, if I even gave you my, you had the password to my cell phone, my email, all this stuff so you could satisfy any of your insecurities. would you date me? And she couldn't answer. And to me, I'm just like, I'm settling this apprehension for you.

I'm giving you all that you need. And I'm a private person. I don't give that shit to anyone. But I love you that. But I would love you that much. And she still was like, I don't know. I don't think I'd be able to do it. Right, but that's one girl.

But that's one girl. Like you say 98% of black women. I mean, I think as a white woman, most of my white girlfriends, if they knew a guy was bisexual, I think they'd be apprehensive. I think it happens with white women too, don't you? Or no?

No, no, it happens with every. I mean, it happens with a lot of women. I'm saying, but it's specifically with black women. It's the majority of them because of the religious conservatism. And even in the Latino community, a lot. Like, you know, there's this machismo and there's all this expectations put on what it needs to be a man, whether you're Latino or black as society is kind of put a lot on. honest. So they already kind of look at you even if they don't say it.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So, no, that I know. I know what I speak on that. But, but no, I think it's what white room now. But I have found that there are. I'm, I people always say interrupt and I definitely do. I always, I also don't think that AIDS helps the situation. Do you know what I mean? I think the whole stigma around it and the fact that you could like die for a bit, you know what mean in that it's in the gay community if you don't use condoms you fuck a guy in me ass like you know you could get AIDS like that it's like I don't think I think that

also adds to it you know because I just think that that's like a stigma right because nowadays you could take aren't there drugs you could take like just to keep you from ever getting it right like well it's a well it's supposed to be for

but see I don't even do that like I'm a condom guy anywhere I mean as much as people as much as people don't do that, the reality is even if there's a pill that you take that will prevent you or supposedly will prevent you from HIV, because they're not always that affected. It doesn't make you

any, it doesn't protect you from other STD. Right, right, of course. So you could be HIV and be with chlamydia and herpes. The gift that keeps on giving. Yeah, yeah, please. Exactly. So, so, so it's rough and it's a struggle

but, you know, it's, you know, but I just wanted to make sure. And I listen to some of the guys on this channel. I'm like, it's people like you that are wounded for like people, you know, like me. Oh, I was going to say I was going to get to the point where they talked about the LGBT. Yeah, a lot of them, they, a lot of gays, they don't, they think, oh, well, you're, they think you're just, a lot of them go, oh, you're just really gay. You haven't really, you know, found the right one yet or whatever. Or they'll be like, man, I can't be a dude because you're too greedy and all this kind of stuff.

So it's, they're more accepting. But you get it on both sides, right? You get the guys that are a little intimidated for whatever reason because you like women. And the women are freaked out because you like men. So like what, have you ever met? And so, and when you mean a bisexual woman, that freaks you out, would maybe a bisexual man be like the best thing for you? Have you ever dated a bisexual? Like a bisexual guy, right?

A guy who's exactly like. you like you ever dated a bisexual guy? I mean, no, no. I mean, I may, no, I don't think so. I mean, I may have it from what I can tell them. But what do you go? Why would that be better? I don't, I don't know.

I'm just wondering, because you did say before you're like, sometimes there is a sort of feeling of like never being able to feel completely satisfied, right? Because you got this over there or that over there. And then you, you know, so I mean, but those are the things that, but those are the things I think once I, once I establish my, life and I see the claripat. That's not going to worry me. I just meant like, you know, okay, you want the wedding with like the female in the wedding,

the wife and all that stuff, and there's a beautiful pretty picture and all that. And then there's a one picture, whatever, what just do. You know, I'm just saying, like, there are certain things that you give up that you won't get to experience ultimately if you want to have that monogamous relationship. And I'm just saying those things, like, if you're married to a dude, well, you're not going to have that woman walking down the aisle and the, you know, the wedding dress leaves. doing that. So, you know, so I'm just saying that thing that you kind of miss. But let me ask you about you. Like what does, because I was going to get to this, like, what does your future look like to you? Or is it like you don't know because it's depending on whether you wind up with a man or a woman? Like do you want to like one day, quote unquote, get married, have kids live with somebody? Right. And does how does that look for you? Is it, do you feel like, oh, it would have to be with a woman or it could be with a man? Like, do you definitely want kids?

be with, it could, it could be with either. I mean, I'm saying, like, I want, I want to be married to kids. But when I look at the, and I look at, when I look at, oh, when I look at some relationships, I'm sorry, I'm Joe, like, when I look at, like, you know, the images that you see, like, you know, with the men, the, the man, the woman, those, that family unit, you know, those the things, beautiful things that I like and I love to have that. Then you look at the other side and you see, oh, while these two dads raising kids and all these things that's a beautiful thing oh i love that like i just have a tendency to do that with with my life and

just kind of insert myself into different scenarios that may not even mean anything so i'm just saying those two those two visions so you can't have both of them no but you could have one or the other i don't think i think you look at both of them because you're bisexual either one of them could be what it's like you will have a future and it will either be that one or the other one right because you want to get married enough kids and you're either going to be with another guy and you guys will use a surrogate and be able to have children that way or you'll be with a woman and you'll have you'll have a you know you'll do it that way but that's why I asked if your family knew because like if you bring home a guy right like when you were dating the guys like do you bring them home to your

house for like you know holidays and stuff like that yeah no that wouldn't be a problem right I mean so your mom knows that you're bisexual And you've dated guys. Right, okay. Yeah. Mom, dad, siblings. I mean, we don't sit around and talk about it. Yeah, they don't.

Right. But when you've had relationships, like, well, like with your year and a half girl, like, how serious do you get? Like, do you bring people home? Have you ever brought a guy home as your boyfriend and introduce them to your family? No. Well, I mean, I introduced one to my mom once. Right.

That was it. But, yeah, that's as far as that's gotten. Okay. So when you date women, like that girl that you're with for a year and a half, did she know you were bisexual? I'm assuming, yeah. No. Oh, she didn't.

No. That's interesting that sometimes, and kind of sad that because sometimes you have to keep that from your partner. Yeah, and see, like, I was watching, I don't know if you seen that. I'm used to necessarily love is blind. Oh, my God, I couldn't get past, I know everyone loved it. I can never get past, because I love like the Bachelor, the Bachelorette, everyone was talking about that love is blind, but I can't get past the beginning shit. Like, it's just too corny for me and so stupid.

Like, I watched the first one and it's like 20 minutes in there saying, and I love them and I'm falling in love and they're expressing all these corny feelings. I don't even have those. I can't express those corny feelings five years into a relationship, let alone 20 minutes. Yeah, I know. So, but you got to get past it, right? build them? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, at the first episode, the shit gets real, because they go through

all the real stuff. Yeah, that's what everyone says. And I'm afraid to tell you then, since you haven't seen it, I'm afraid to tell you, you know it's everywhere. No, I'm not going to watch it. Okay, all right? So they had this one character of Carlton on there, right? This one character, he reveals after he proposes to a girl that he's by, and it becomes an issue.

But she was willing to sit down and talk with him, and she's, they're black, right? She was willing to sit down and talk with them, which blew me away because a lot of black women won't even take the time to like, be like, okay, let's think about this. But he became a drama queen and ended up screwing it up for himself. And anyway, but the point I was trying to,

uh, no, she looked like she's in her in my 30s. Okay, okay. So I was really, I was really shocked by that. But what made a lot of people upset, what made her upset was like, well, why didn't you tell me before we got engaged? And see, this is the thing. A lot of people don't realize. It's like, okay, I've been in the situation where it's like,

okay, you let somebody know, you know beforehand okay well look I just want to let you know I'm a good guy all this stuff but I just want to let you know to be fair with you yeah I am you know I am just that you know that you know and then and then you don't get past that you don't even get past that date versus you get a person a chance to really the woman a chance to really get to know you she sees all the beautiful wonderful qualities about you she falls in love she's so beautiful and then at some point obviously not too far down the line but at some point

you're like, okay, look, I just want you to know this is this. I waited because I wanted you to see the real me and to see, we'll see all the good things. And it's safer that way and they're more likely to understand. So I get why a lot of women don't like to want to know up front, but a lot of times, not even just with this issue. How many times have you seen where like somebody was like, if they had unloaded a certain issue or that piece of baggage about their past or whatever before they got, before they got serious, then they never would have been able to see the beauty in that person

when they got married and put together for a long time. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, for sure. It's a very hard call. It's like for people with herpes. I had a girlfriend. I always talk about this girl that I do that in herpes. And I always be like, you don't want to tell a guy.

You just brought that out of nowhere. You're like, yeah, it's just like herpes. Yeah. Well, you know, it's like the same kind of thing. Like I, like, you don't want to tell the guy right away, right? Because that might say, like, you want to kind of get him to really like like like you so that he's maybe more available to be like, okay, I'll put a pass on that

because I already think you're super fucking cool or whatever, you know? But I just think there's a lot of things that, I say it, we talk about it with my panty hose guys, some of them that don't tell somebody, right? It's not something that you want to maybe bring up right away because some girl might get freaked out, right? But once they feel more comfortable. Right.

With you, and I feel like with being bisexual, if you're going to be in a long-term relationship, like your partner is going to have to know. Like, I mean, I know you didn't tell that other girl, the year and a half girl, but have there been other women that you've dated for shorter than a year and a half that you actually told and they were with you as a bisexual man, knowing who you were and you had a relationship? Yeah, there was one, but she thought because of that,

that I wanted to experiment and do all these types of fun. I mean, like, look, I'm a freak like the rest of them. But like when it comes to one-on-one, but she wanted to do like a threesome with another guy and all this guy. Oh, she was turned on by it. Yeah, she was turned on. And I trust me, I think that's, I think that's hot when I hear about guys are calling the Udaweiser and do it that's hot. But, and I'm like, you know, that would be such, that is a high relationship. I'm happy for you.

But for me, I don't need all of that. Right, you don't want that. You know, I'm territorial myself. Yeah. I'm territorial on myself, and I know what happens, and we've seen on your show what happens a lot of times when you invite somebody into that relationship, even if it's just for sex.

Yeah. It can get really complicated. Yeah, for sure. Especially if you do it. There's so many ways to do it wrong, you know. But there are ways to do it right, and there are a lot of couples, and I've had them on my show that have done it the right way,

and it takes a, you know, and I think one of the biggest things is, like, you know, you want to be with someone for some time. I mean, you're the type of person. Like if you wind up with a woman, right, who is okay with you being by and maybe even into it, but sort of more like you wired to just be with one person and wanting that and wanting that intimacy with you and you with her, you know, you know, maybe 10 years down the line, you are the kind of couple that will maybe open it up and play with different things. You know what I mean?

But it would be way down the line, you know, and only because you are by and you're open to it and she's cool with it. and you know, but you're with each other and you know that you are, right? But your first desire is to be with somebody and just be with them and have that real intimate relationship, right? Yeah, yeah, absolutely, because what people don't understand, a lot of times they don't think for the future that, like, sex and all this stuff will eventually, if you want to be a monogamous relationship, that can go away, that might go away. And like I said, you know, and at the end, there's a, that bond that's got to be there.

And if you're able to maintain and get kinky and, like, add all kinds of different flavor, more power to you. I'm that way, too. It's just I'm not, at least at this juncture. I'm not looking to invite anyone else into the equation because those things can be very, very complicated. And I'm a territorial person and myself. Right. But, like, if you're on Tinder or on, you know, I don't know what, I don't date, so I don't know what dating sites there are out there nowadays. Like when I used to date, it was like plenty of fish or like, you know, like, what's fucking out there that people do now?

Look, look, I should add you to the Doug show. Kathy, why don't you date? Yeah, right? I'm going to eventually if someone interview me one day. That'll be on my Patreon too. But wait, no. What I want to know is like where do you like, so it, wherever you are dating, right, or online, right? That's where everyone does it.

Like, what do you go looking for, right? And like, what do you, okay, so say you have bisexual women. both things, right? Like, but if you go on Tinder, are you swiping to look at guys? Are you, or you're slapping to look at girls? Are you doing both? Like, how does it work? Both. Both.

Both? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, like I said, there's this feeling that people feel like a, or this stigma that feels like we, we can't, you know, we're either too greedy or we can't, or we just, we think one way or we're not, or, you know, we're just, I don't know, my words not coming out, right? But yeah, yeah, I mean, it's like, you know, it's both.

It's much more simple than people. You know, I think part of the reason I've tried to think about this psychologically, why a lot of people misinterpret the bi thing versus any other like heterosexual or, what you call it, homosexual. And I think it has a lot to do with because you don't usually, when you hear the term, you don't usually hear people talk to say heterosexual. They usually say straight. You don't usually hear people say homosexuality.

They usually say gay. But for some reason, people say the whole word. word of bisexual so much that is like their mind automatically dips into like the sexual for that word and so that kind of that trips them up and they and they don't focus on the fact that it really if you think by it's just kind of it's much more simpler than people make it out to be right but I think it's a lot easier you know most people think black and white you know they think in like terms of male female right black white like day night you know it's much easier to sort of see things separate that way right right

So they could sort of, it's easier to say, oh, this guy is gay and he's into guys. This woman is straight. She's into men, you know. And then, but then when you say this is a guy and he's into women or men and that just, I think it's like hard for a brain or all of our brains are sort of more wire to do that sort of black and white thing. You know what I mean? Then it's like you add this other thing into the mix and it gets a little bit confusing. But I definitely think, you know, listen, you're 30 something years old. you know, you're going to maybe date up, date down,

but like someone around your age, like you could meet a girl or a guy in their 20s, you know, and date them and like, you know, you're going to find a lot of people that are going to be very accepting, I think, of who you are and very happy because I'm sure there's a lot of bisexual people out there or people that want to be with someone who's really monogamous, whether you're by or not,

it's hard to find a guy that is very into sort of being with one person, and wanting to be intimate and really capable and wanting to be monogamous, right? A lot of men aren't interested in that. So I think, you know, you're a good catch for that right person that, you know, is looking for that because a lot of guys aren't, right? You just happen to be bisexual. But I think, you know, for that right woman or that right guy that's able to be okay with that and knows that you just want to be, will be very grateful because they'll know that you,

what's most important is that you are really monogamous. and you're not afraid of intimacy and you really want that with one person whereas a lot of people are incapable of that or not interested or not interested, you know? Yeah, totally and I appreciate

the words about my future and I definitely have hoped for that. One thing I did forget to mention that is like again with this new generation of finding ways to make themselves feel, it's so weird. It's like they want to feel free and be open which they're meals to them are.

when it comes to expressing what they like and who they like. And yet you have guys that, like you said, bisexual is like a traditional kind of term. Now you have people saying things like biromantic. Like, well, you know, I'm birromantic, but I'm heterosexual or heterosexual. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So confusing.

And I just, that's why I think. All right. And that's why I think the labels are really kind of, I think the whole label thing is pretty much about it. It's like it's about to hit a bubble. It's becoming. so much even for them that eventually they're just going to just wash all that shit away because at the end of the day we're more like you've heard of the Kinsey scale right?

Yeah, for sure. So I think that that's really what it boils down to. Yeah, an easier way to look at it. Yeah, for sure. And I think though that like, I think that, you know, with the younger generation, why they're trying to, like, I think they're putting in labels and stuff, it's because just like all this shit just like sort of exploded and became acceptable. and I think it's super cool that they're so open and trying to make sense of it all, you know,

but I think, yeah, down the line, it'll be easier that you don't even need to, you know, but I get the sort of need to that because I think it's hard to explain because they're surrounded by so many people that, you know, don't understand or and have never heard of this stuff, right? So how do you explain, right? to their parents, right? They're like, have parents that don't know what the fuck they're talking about. So, like, you know, I get the whole creating of all the names. Yes, it's so confusing.

It's really confusing. That's why, like, on my show, I don't like to focus so much. I like to just, like, get into, like, the real details about somebody's life, right? And, like, how things play out and how they feel about it and, you know, what kind of experiences they're having because I think people could really sort of relate and learn a lot. And it's really great to know that there are people out there. there that are like them, right, are doing the same thing so they don't feel so quote unquote alone, you know, I think for you as a black man, you know, that and as a bisexual

person who has had like issues, right, and feels like it's really difficult. Like for other people listening that feel the same way, what is that Reddit page that you said that you go to where they all like that you could talk and stuff? Is it a specific Reddit page? Or there's tons of them out there? Yeah. Well, yeah, I mean, if you just goes, I mean, I think there's one of several, but I think it's just, I think it's just called bisexual. And I think they have one for men too, but they have a general one for women and it would be really interesting. So whenever you call, whenever this comes live, we're definitely going to try to close a link there. Yeah, but let me ask you this. Like, what if you, like, what do

you see on there is like the biggest gripe, like, like the stuff that you're saying, like finding partners that understand and accepted or finding people that understand, understand what it means or all of the above like what are people talking about like all of the above i mean and they even have funny stuff too they have funny like means or pictures that kind of explain the the stereotypes or things that people are going on some of they're just sharing this story a lot of them a lot of times there are people that are closet closeted in their marriages who are by and they want to be able to tell their partner because even if you never plan on doing anything with that

the quote unquote other side, you still on some level feel like you're not being fully authentic if you can't be fully expressive or just be fully who you are with no secrets. Even if it wouldn't do anything because I mean like, and not saying that oh well you do that so you and your wife can sit there and compare notes on dudes

on TV. It's just that you know you just you feel like there's a pizza or something that's not authentic. That they don't know for sure. You can't understand why in people. Yeah and you had that year and a half relationship with that girl. And on some level, right, you had to know that this can't go the distance because she doesn't know of a thing, like a big part of who you really are. And it doesn't matter, like you said, whether you're going to be with a guy with her.

You have been with men and she doesn't even know, right? So it's like you're hiding something and that you can never wind up with somebody like that, right? Right, exactly. You've got to be able to be your full self. And I just want to say one less. I don't judge anybody who's who is, you know, who's in the closet and doing, you know, and just very struggling.

Because there are a lot of black people that struggle. But I just, my bone to pick is just with a lot of, like, some of the guys, even some of the callers, like, I'm just like, you're giving us a bad, I don't know you're giving us a bad name. But just like if you, just, you know, we all have choices. We all choices in life when it comes to, you know, you don't have to come. You don't have to have this happen. You don't have to do anything but eat, sleep, drink, and be married. You know, you don't have to do all of the things.

Those are choices that you're making. If you're fine with them, if you're fine, cheating or to get those things that you want, fine. But if you want to not have to worry about all that, change up your thinking and think about instead of what I can take as far as pleasure from this relationship, what can I give? And that way, you won't feel as they won't have these, they won't have as many urges to go out and see things elsewhere.

I mean, there's not much I can do for people who are already in relationships. But I think for people that want to be in relationships or in the beginning of relationship, I think that that would be helpful to them. To be what? To be what would be helpful for them in the beginning? It would be helpful for people in the beginning to just, you know, think about in relationships, okay, when it comes to sex and things like that I know what I like. and I want and but I want to be able to give what I can to someone else whatever they like

and make sure they know what I like so that they can give it back to me so that way be open exchange of gifts instead of me yeah be an exchange of gifts sexual gifts instead of just saying okay well I need this I need that and she's not getting it to I got to find someone else you know right of course I think it's a lot like the reason why I like to do my show and like to get on the call and like to have at least an hour talking to somebody because I and especially even the cheating ones because I think you have to it's hard to make general sweeping statements about people who quote unquote cheat because each story is very different each story like you know you might feel very differently when you hear the reason why

one guy cheats compared to another you know what I mean and there's very different degrees and when you hear their backstory and it depends on their age and there's so many factors that you have to take into consideration that it is. That's why I wind up feeling, like it's very hard for me to judge anyway. And what I normally go by when I'm listening to somebody talk is how they feel about their own situation. And I've had a couple guys on a lot more recently where they felt actually really bad when they were going and, you know, with a guy behind their wife's back.

And that to me is a sign. And you're doing something that you shouldn't be doing. And I'll talk to that person about like how do you change that behavior, you know, because that person is judging themselves, right? Because they feel bad. And that's so it's hard to sort of say like every dog. Yeah, somebody's a sociopaths. Well, yeah, I mean, yeah, social as nurses.

Like all those kind of people exist. I don't see most of the people who call me as that. I mean, I've had a couple, like, cheater. Like, there's like a really bad kind of cheater, like the kind of cheater that cheats doesn't care. He's not capable of even loving his wife. Like, you know, it's... No, no, I totally agree with you.

But I don't have any of those on my show. No, no, no, I was joking. Well, I was half joking about that. No, what I was trying to say was is that what I was just trying to offer a new way of thinking for a lot of the men and women say they don't get into that, into that. But as far as what led them to that,

that's what I said earlier. Like, I can't judge them because there's no telling what situation I'm going to be in the future, which will cause me to have to be like, I met this one dude. He, he, he, he wants to be able to explore into all these different things, but ever since his wife hit menopause, shit. She said he has to sleep with a knife under the pillow. So it's like, you just, you just don't know.

And he's afraid, like, if she even knew, man, my ass would be gone. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Things, shit happens and stuff. I mean, I think you're kind of like wired to, like, question, and you're a curious person and you like psychology, right? and you like to sort of break, that's why you probably listen to my show

and you like, you know, because it's, and that's why you want to call in, right? Yeah, to talk about it because it is all like super interesting, you know? And so I don't think that people that are wired that way tend to be judgmental. I think you just like to know it's not about judgment. It's just about learning, right? And finding out how people think and how people,

how it works and everything, you know? And I know that people always, all my life, like I always felt like people or people would always be like, I don't know why I'm telling you this, but like I'm just telling you my whole life story. And it would always, I felt like it was always because I was very non-judgmental because I'm never really listening to someone to explain their life trying to find something bad about them. I'm like just, I just find it fascinating. I think people are super interesting. And I like to hear about it because it's just like interesting to me. You know what I mean?

It's I'm never coming from a place of judgment. I'm not trying to put them in a box or make an opinion about them. It's just a curiosity, right? And I think that that's why people feel comfortable to tell me stuff. And you're probably the same way. Yeah, it's very voyeuristic for me. But at the same, it's very voyeuristic to me. But I feel like as a voyeur looking into these people's lives,

I can't, I don't feel like I have a right to be there if I'm going to be just going to just be ultimately judgmental because it takes a lot for a lot of these people to even, like me, to even. even, you know, come forward and talk about certain things, you know. Yeah, I don't feel like I got a lot out of you about you, but that's okay. I feel like you wanted to talk about bigger picture. I did, but, I did, but, well, you know, we'll have to talk another time about that whole BBC thing. Yeah, because, I mean, I tried to go to the stuff about you, but you kept bringing it back to

some other stuff, and that's okay. I don't think, I'm not going to say, I think, like, a part of me could be like, oh does he not really want to go there about himself like he did but i felt like probably why you did that is because you came on the show knowing exactly like with the things you want to cover and you probably had a lot on your mind that you were saying i felt like you were bringing it back not to avoid talking about yourself but more so to make sure that you got everything out that you wanted to after i'm sure all these things were always in your head when you were listening to my show right so now you're finally on and you want to like yeah bring a talk about

everything, right? But I would love to hear your story, right? At some point as well, and we could just focus on that. Definitely. Definitely. Because, you know, like, I can give you a whole show about this whole BBC thing, because I know come up a couple times with that. Yeah. That's what I normally do, but I never

mind an episode like this. I think it's like a good learning experience and it teaches people a lot of stuff and there's probably a lot of people like you that listen to show that want to hear stuff like this, right? It's because they're thinking the way you are. Just a breath of pressure. Yeah.

And to blow, like to get more information on the bisexual thing because it comes up so much, right? So you've helped me see it in a different way. Hopefully you have helped other people see it in a different way and also been a voice for, you know, people that are listening that have felt the same way you have. So thanks for coming on. But let me ask you, has it, has it kind of? of, I know you said it has, but it's really kind of opened up your, your, or expanded your kind of view on the, you know.

Yeah, yeah, because you really showed me that it's like it's not, it's, it's not about sex. It's just about a person. Being bisexual is just like you could be either with a man or a woman, right? For sure. It definitely made it much clearer. Yeah. To me. Yeah, mostly.

I mean, I don't want to, I don't want to neglect those people that really is just about sex with but the lion's share of us were just like anybody else when I come to a relationship. And Kathy, I really appreciate you so let me do this. I know I didn't get talked enough about me but I'll be,

I'll be, I'll be, I'll be, yeah, exactly. If you ever want to come in again on the show and we'll talk to you about you. But anyway,

thanks so much for calling in and doing something different. I don't mind. I'm flexible. No. I'm heterosexual. Thank you so much, Kathy.

I appreciate it. Yeah, no, thank you. Thank you. And we'll talk again soon. I'll let you know when it airs. Bye. All right. Bye. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available not only in paperback and e-book, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17-ditch.

different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang being girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person. And they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person. And I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like Penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not. So over the top, like erotica, I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. 17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format,

and finally, the audiobook is available coming out August 25th. But you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary. link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint. Okay. There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me. Okay. I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other and that's what you get to do there. You can post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total strictly anonymous community and you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord.

It's private, like I said. All you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook, or the paperback. Send it to me at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. That's strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. And I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in. This is the strictly anonymous podcast.