Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 357 - Aaron Gets Off on Sleeping Women's Feet

Episode Date: October 12, 2020

Aaron has been getting off with sleeping women's feet since he was super young and now he can't stop. When and how did he first realize he was into feet? When was the first time he snuck into a bedroom and played around with someone's feet? Who was his first "victim and who does he sneak up on now? And why can't he stop? Tune in for all the details which include what his first teacher did to ignite his foot fetish, how his addiction to "sleepy feet" started, what he actually does with women's feet while they're sleeping, what his girlfriend knows and doesn't know about his foot fetish, what they do together involving her feet, how he is addicted to this behavior and tips on how he can kick the habit and a whole lot more. **To see anonymous pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Here is your host, Kathy. Hey, welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast with Kathy. If you want to follow the strictly anonymous podcast on Instagram or Twitter, follow the show at Strict Anonymous. I say it's strictly anonymous confessions, right? This is a place where people call in while remaining anonymous and get to talk about their deepest, darkest, dirtiest things. I also like to give advice.

And so, you know, even if you have a regular problem and you just need advice and you want someone to pick apart your issue and analyze it for you for a good hour or so uh send me an email go to my website strictly anonymous podcast.com and click on be on the show or send me an email directly at strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com today I have on a guy named Aaron. Now Aaron wrote in and this is like an interesting one because illegal might be It is a term, a word that we used in this podcast. We also used, like, rape. He used the word.

Victim. I mean, it's a little cray-crae what this guy does, yet. I'm not saying it's right. It's completely wrong, and he knows it. But I would say that because he knows what he's doing is wrong, and because he wants to stop it is why I'm still airing this episode, because I think he'll get a lot out of it when he listens. to it and it is a very interesting story. You know, if he's doing something like this,

there's got to be other people who are doing this kind of thing. And what it is that he does is he's into feet. He has a big foot fetish. And when he was very young, he went in and he calls it like sleepy feet or sleepy foot. I mean, he likes to go in when someone's sleeping, lift up the covers and use their feet to pleasure himself. But while they're sleeping, and these people have no idea that he's doing it, he started, like I said, when he was super young. So, you know, at that point, you're like, okay, he doesn't know what the fuck he's doing. And after, like, you do it one time you feel bad, and that's it.

But that's not what happened. He kept doing it, and he's been doing it for a really long time. And we talk all about that. Like I said, if this was a guy that was just calling up to brag about it, how he like does this to women while they're sleeping. I don't, I would have probably a big problem with airing it. The difference with this guy is that he knows what he's doing is wrong. He hasn't been doing it lately. He wants to stop. And, uh, that's why he called into the show. So, you know, it's, uh, you're really listening to somebody who's really being honest about their stuff, but also

is self-aware and knows about it. So I find that's an easier, conversation for me to have than when I'm talking to somebody who's blatantly doing something that's so beyond wrong and they don't even fucking know or think it's wrong, you know. I like this guy. He's really young still, even though he's been doing it from a long time. He's got a foot fetish. He does this really fucking weird thing and he's got to fucking stop. If anyone has advice for him, I think I put a call out on there if anyone wants to talk to him and help him. He needs like a sponsor, you know? I think he has a little, bit of a sex addiction. He's addicted to what he does. And we talk a lot about how he could stop it,

why he does it, what exactly he does. And all of it is super interesting, entertaining, eye-opening, all of the above. So anyway, I'm going to be right back on with Aaron. You were very late to call into my show. So I only have like a half hour to talk to you. And we're just going to do it because I have another half-hour podcast and I'm going to pair you up with that. Okay. We're going to get right into it. You have a foot fet. and you say that you do like really crazy things to people. This is what I'm assuming and let me know if I'm right. I'm thinking because of what you said in your email that you like maybe molest people's feet as they're sleeping when they don't know.

Is that something that you're doing right now? Or am I wrong? Yeah, that's pretty much it, kind of. I mean, because you said you do something when people are sleeping. I mean, but who are these people? So, like, it happened actually, like, pretty young when I, like, very first started doing it. Mm-hmm. I was, like, 12 or 13.

And who would those people be then at that age? Who were you doing it, too? So my sister was older than me at the time, but she'd have, like, friends come and stay the night, I guess. Mm-hmm. I know. I always always just was liked feet and was into feet and they would come over

and they'd be asleep or I'd always be around my sister hanging out with them or whatever and yeah it just kind of went from there. No, but what do you mean went from there? I want to know specifically like so you know, paint the picture.

I got already that your sister's hanging out. got some friends. They're having a sleep over. Everyone goes to sleep. And now what actually goes down? Uh, it, I don't know. It's kind of like an adrenaline. I should get pretty real. So I was like old enough to understand what I was doing. Mm-hmm. And like, I don't know. It's, it's so weird to talk about because like, I know that it's wrong, but... You can't stop. I can't stop. And I mean, I feel like I don't actually hurt them, like not forcing them down and time. the roof or something and they wake up never the wiser so I mean yeah but what are you actually doing this is what I want to know you to sneak into the room like walk me through what you actually do to their feet do you know what I'm saying that's what I want to know first before we get into all this other stuff

that's super interesting too like when you walk in so the first time you did it or the 10 times you do it there's someone sleeping you lift the covers off of their foot and what do you do to their feet well I'll uh I'll kind of like freeze like a mouse at first when they're in there but the main goal if it possible because you have to be careful you don't want to like them up and then be caught and then everybody's like wow this guy's so fucking weirdo because it's pretty yeah yeah it's pretty fucked up yeah yeah you don't want to get caught so like I'm shaking I like peel the covers back I try to peel the covers back as soft as I can it's easier on there like a heavier sleeper but if you get like a light sleeper sometimes you don't even get to finish what you do

yeah and how would you know and how would you know if they're a light sleeper or not i mean it's kind right because these are just like it's really just it's really just a gamble yeah that's what makes it so exciting yeah because i have a girlfriend and she has beautiful feet and i i wouldn't even need to do this but it it's just it's the rush it's not just the foot, right? But tell me what you actually do to their feet. I still don't know. So the main goal is to get a foot job, like to rub my dick on their feet. Oh, yeah, yeah, that's pretty hardcore.

Yeah. It's one thing, listen, I got to tell you this. Like, you say, like, they're none the wiser and they don't even know, and I'm not really hurting them. But, you know, like, it's one thing if you just lift it up, and this is what I was thinking, This is why I needed the specifics. Because if you're lifting up the covers and you're just, you know, touching their feet and then you run back in your room and you jerk off to it, I mean, that's still not right.

But, you know, it's a different scenario than you taking your hard cock out and, like, putting it in between their feet and, like, jerking yourself off with their body parts. Do you know what I mean? Like, that's major. Like, that's majorly. Yeah, it's pretty intense. It's crazy. It's totally crazy

First of all I mean I have a million questions But I just need to know Have you ever been caught I don't think I Yeah actually I have kind of been caught What does that mean? So like one time

It was with my sister's friend Again And they were Just like I guess they were asleep And her feet were hanging off the bed And I think this was before I could even like actually ejaculate.

So I would just go in there and rub it on their feet. Yeah. And I was basically doing it and like she jerked up out of her sleep and woke up kind of. And then I just kind of ran out the room and like came back and did it again. And she didn't like say anything that night. But like the next day she was like, hey, I know what she did. And that's not okay. never do that again. And that was pretty much it, like, got caught, but with no consequences.

Right. Well, you're her friend, sister, you know, she's friends with your sister. She probably didn't want to get you in trouble. I mean, you know. And that's probably, the only thing that probably helped me at the time was my age. Right. You're a young kid, you know, but she was probably fucking horrified. Yeah, probably. And probably, I would say, still in shock, even. You know, but she was probably, been just, you know, because it's like literally the next morning, you know, it's just a couple hours. I think sometimes stuff like that, you have to, sometimes it takes a while to process it. Because I think a lot of people are always like, oh, you know, people don't react the right way when like crazy things happen to them. But a lot of times it's like you're, you're, it's so

hard to stay in the moment when something insane is happening because your brain can almost like not even, you know, comprehend what's going on. So it takes a while, you know, so I think, you know, probably five days later she was like holy fucking shit you know but probably never brought it up but you know now you're doing it with like like what gave you do you remember like what made you thing to cross that line and actually go because listen there's a lot of people out there that have a foot fetish and probably fantasize about doing that but what what it was and what was going on that that first time that you crossed the line and decided to go in and like violate you somebody else's feet?

So, we had a boy that we babysit, but I don't like boy. I don't like boys' feet or anything like that. But he had an older sister that would come over, like, I don't know why she couldn't watch him for some reason, but she had come over with him while my older sister watched him, I guess. Uh-huh. and she would watch them like overnight when their mom was working the overnight shift or something and I play video games with him because he was more around my age but they would both like fall asleep in my bed

him and his older sister and I just kind of fall asleep at the beginning of the bed and like how it was set up she just had her feet on me like already and I just started like plain with them massaging them or whatever and then when she went to sleep it just kind of went from there because like I said I've always liked feet from like a real early age like I remember and I listened to your show with something it really is like the teacher thing like tell the teachers to watch out because they cause they definitely causing something I remember I was in like

third or second grade Yeah. And we're taking tape measures and we're measuring things around the classroom. And my teacher had flip-flops on. And she said that we could basically measure her flip-flop or her foot or whatever. Yeah, of course. There was another kid measuring it. So I went over there to measure it and I did not know what it was that like take over this little kid's body.

but I did not measure anything else the entire time. I was like, all right, I'm going to measure your shoe. All right, now I'm going to measure your toe. Now I'm going to measure this toe. Now I'm going to measure the bottom of your foot. Yeah, she shouldn't have done that. I think she's what made me crazy. Why?

Because that's the moment that you remember it, like, clicking. Yeah, that's what I remember. Like, I was like, that's probably why I like feet. And she had gorgeous feet, too. Right. Yeah, it's what I wonder, it's like the chicken and the egg thing. Like, which came first, right? Like, did you have that seed in you and then, like, her foot and what she offered you, which was the measuring, was like the water?

You know what I mean? That made that grow? Or was it her foot that created, that planted the seed? You know what I think? I think it was her feet that made me start noticing the other feet. Because they were so nice? Yeah, because they were so nice. I was like, wow, they're really pretty.

She had them painting. Yeah, I don't think so because I think a lot of kids would see nice looking feed and not feel that way. I don't know, though. That's the first time I ever got to, like, go up and touch a foot. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, listen, I think other foot fetish guys would understand that. It's, I'm not, you know, I always say I give unprofessional advice.

I don't really know anything. So that's why I ask a million questions because I'm trying to figure stuff out, you know. That's what makes you so good, though. You think? Because I don't know anything. Okay. So, so you start with the babysitter. Now, I could see, like, so it's not like a big jump, right?

Like at first you're, it's not like you're just sitting there thinking about feet in your room and then you go into another room and start molesting someone's feet. It's like you're sleeping in bed with this girl at a young age, which just totally goes down and happens, right? Her foot's touching yours by accident because shit like that happens, right? And because you're a foot guy, it starts to turn you on. So I'm assuming maybe you're jerking off like when that's happening and they're sleep. No, see, I never, like, ever jerked off.

So her feet were kind of like just sitting in my lap. Oh, okay. Yeah, so I just kind of started rubbing, and it really grew from there. Oh, okay, so you're giving her like a foot massage? Yeah. Right. But when does it get to be where you think, like, oh, I'm going to put my dick inside someone's feet? Did you ever do that to that girl?

Yeah, I did. Okay, but so how does that? Okay, so that girl sleeps over one night. You're rubbing her feet. Now, all the rest of the time she sleeps over, this starts to go down and you continue this behavior with her? Yeah. I just started getting like a huge boner, really. Right.

And then I was just kind of like it felt good, like rubbing it through my pants. And I was like wondering what it would feel like? Yeah. Okay. Go on. And I was wondering what did it feel like the outside of my pants. So I start rubbing it. That's like the first time.

Oh, okay. I see how that happens. Some cum or something. And then I go into the bathroom and I'm looking down and there's this white stuff. I'm like, is this? What is this? Oh, interesting. So that's like the first time you ejaculated and you had no idea.

Yeah. First time ever. Right. Oh, God. That's why you got wired that way. All these firsts. You know what I mean? The first time you ever came and had an orgasm or ejaculated me,

You didn't have an orgasm. I don't know because I found out recently on my show. There's two different things. But it was from her foot rubbing on your dick. Yeah. So I get that you would, you know, be on a quest to go find that. So now did that girl sleep over more and you did that to her more times? Yeah, it probably happened like four times with that girl before that it stopped.

And as far as you know, she was always sleeping, right? Yeah, she was definitely. asleep. And then what were you going to just say? And then like I would try to, I'd try it with my sister's friends that would come over and I'd have some like successful runs with that. And then I find myself like literally waiting for my sister's friends to come over but my sister became like way less popular than like when she was younger and like all these friends were coming over. I get so crazy just like thinking about it and I would like at that age how I was raised I didn't ever like touch myself

I just I just didn't think to do it like I didn't know what Pornhub was I didn't how old are you now I'm in my 20s okay uh-huh so like I'd be like I don't know what Pornhub is like I don't probably start jacking off until I was like 16, maybe 17, like Lake Bloomer. So are you saying like it was, that was your only resource, you know, to like get off? Yeah, that was all that I really wanted.

Like one time, I actually, like, wanted it so bad. So my sister had this friend and she came over during the middle of the day and I guess she had been drinking beer or something like that and she just came in the house

was actually kind of goofy like really drunk I don't know what she said she drunk but she went in the room with my sister my sister was like playing this game and I'm kind of like just watching her play this game but I go under the covers where her friends like drunk or passed out

or not paying attention and they both kind of weren't paying attention and I'm like awkwardly positioned and I like start rubbing her feet there and like come inside my pants and they were number wiser and that was like in the middle of the day. Wow. And I'm probably like 13 when this was like all going down. Right. 13 is what like seventh grade, eighth grade?

Yeah. Right. And now at this point have you started to go into the room when your friends are, her friends are sleeping and do it? Yeah, I'd like creep from my room into their room or the living room or wherever they were at. Mm-hmm. And so you'd rub it, but you wouldn't ejaculate or you would? I don't understand because I just...

Yeah, I would once I found out that I could. Like, I discovered that there was something that I could do. And you jerk off like on their feet or on the bed? I would like, honestly just get like a foot job. I wouldn't jerk off. I'd just rub it until. So now, like after the first time, I guess because it happens like slowly, because I mean, you definitely like crossed a line. It's one thing when that girl is like sleeping the first time and it

kind of happens by accident and you're rubbing her foot and then it rubs up on your dick and then you come, you know, but when you start to sneak in and do it when someone's sleeping, I mean, does it, in the beginning, the first couple times did you feel guilty at all or anything like that What kind of feelings did you have about what you were doing? I definitely felt guilty. Mm-hmm. But there was like a drop. Like I said, I bullshit myself and I talk.

I try to make excuses for myself. Like, oh, you're not hurting them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're not doing that, but, you know, that's fucking bullshit. But it's like that was okay with me. Like, I talked myself out of it. And I was okay with it. I was like, it feels good.

They're asleep. They don't know. I don't know. Yeah, well, you're addicted. You're no different than an addict who's addicted to whatever, whether it's cocaine or alcohol, right? I mean, you could, you could, that's what, that's what goes on. That's an internal conversation that happens with addicts as well, you know. They know that it's wrong, but they can't stop and they have to do it.

It's food. Like, I'm trying to do intermittent fasting, right? Because I, that's how I stay my skinniest if I don't eat past a certain time. Last night, my mind started to be like, have a bag of pot. popcorn and I'm like no and you know but I hate the fucking bag of popcorn you know what I just because it's so that pull and that thing it's like you're it's you're addicted you know and it really is like you against you in situations like that I've quit a lot of addictions in my I would I would definitely say yeah if there's anything I'm addicted to it would be that yeah for sure and

it's very powerful that pull and when you have something you know sexual arousal right it's like you know, and because you really wired yourself into that scenario to get yourself off at a very young age, like all of your first sexual experiences were done in that way, right? Yeah. So, yeah. And there was, there was a lot of them. Like, I did a lot, like, I don't know, when I was young, I would just make it a mission. And like I said, like, my sister's friends would stop coming over or whatever.

I would like just It's for like forever Like I was just like What can I do It got to a point where I was like What can I do So he started going over to my buddy's house And he had sisters

And I'd spend the night And it's like my best friends Oh my God Oh my god Still my best friends of this day He doesn't know Of course Like but one day

I was up in his sister's room On her couch Ended up getting one from her Oh my God And I think he I actually got like four foot jumps from like four different girls at his house. You meaning like his sister and her friends and people like that? So two of his sisters, like his cousin was over there one time.

And yeah, I think that's actually only three at home. Oh my God. And so, and you add into it, I keep forgetting, but there's also that sense of, wow, you could be fucking caught and what you're doing is so long. Yeah, that's what made it so exciting. So, because it would ever, I'd first, like, be waiting for a while for any opportunity to do it. Yeah. And so, like, when it happened, I'd be so scared. I'd have the journaling. It'd be so exciting. Like, it wouldn't take, like, now when I get a foot job, it feels like it takes a minute because I got my endurance up, whatever. My girlfriend has pretty few, but I get them all the time. Yeah. But, like, when you're

doing that it's oh i'm not supposed to be doing this this is wrong i can get caught and then like everybody knows you're a fucking freak right so like i wouldn't just be rubbing my dick on their feet forever and really waking them up it'd be pretty quick like five minutes you know right it's of course because it's so exciting yeah it's all the build-up it's all that so it literally takes you a couple minutes for sure anyone could understand that you know i could understand that you know i could understand it. What's what's hard to, but it's also, it's not hard to understand, at least for me, why you can't stop, right? Is there a part of you that wants to stop? Well, wait, let's not just get to that point. We'll wait, we'll wait for my advice for you because I do want to give you some advice at

the end of the show. I still want more details because I feel like there's probably stuff they haven't told me. So, you know, when you're younger, you're dating your girl now, you know, so you would always, when you stopped being able to do this to your sister's friends, then you started to do it with your friends' sisters and their friends. I mean, what's the most craziest one you ever did? I mean, it's all pretty fucking crazy. So maybe there is it. You know what I mean?

I don't know. Well, I'd say in high school I had some pretty crazy ones because that's where I started drinking and stuff. Yeah. And I could always go to, like, my dad's house when I was staying with. him. He always didn't, he didn't care when I had friends over there. Uh-huh. So we're all drinking over at my house, and it's me and my girlfriend and then, like, her best friend. And, yeah, I pretty much, like, we're drinking all night.

And I wasn't even really drinking a lot because I knew kind of what I wanted to do. So, like, they passed out on the bed, and she's, and this has happened, this is when it really got probably the best times, because, like, I was pretty popular in high school, so everybody was like, oh, you know, we can all go to Aaron's house and hang out with, do whatever, his dad doesn't care. Like, we can go in there, so I had a bunch of people over there. that's when I really started like getting them consistently. I was like, if I just provide alcohol and do this, then, you know,

you guys can stand down it. And I can get it pretty easy. So my girl's on the bed, sleep, and her friends just, like, passed out on the floor. And,

like, she was so passed out that I could really get a foot job, like, however I wanted. Like, it wasn't, I didn't have to be too sneaky about it.

Mm-hmm. And at one point, because I did it with her a couple times, because she came over a couple times to drink with us or whatever. One time, it felt like she woke up and was like, like, actually I know for a fact, because I had like popped her foot up on some pillows. So just like sit under my area. And like I was rubbing at first. And then she just started like rubbing her foot herself. like moving it back and forth. I don't know if she was doing that

because she was dreaming or whatever, but she's just started like doing it herself. And then I just kind of stopped. But then I kept going. I finished or whatever. And then she just wakes up and pukes in the trash again and goes back to sleep. Right.

But she never said anything about it. And actually, one time my girlfriend's sister was over there drinking with us, vice versa, and I got a foot job from hers. So that's pretty crazy. Yeah, because it's like, A, you're cheating. There's a lot going on there, right? I mean... Like, that one, if I ever found out, like, I don't know. If you ever got caught, you mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It would be deal breaker, I'm sure. How long have you been dating your girlfriend for? A while in time, we're pretty much married. Oh, you're pretty much married. Okay. So she knows about your first. foot fetish. Now, do you still do this kind of stuff while you're with her? See, like, I went my ex, I did, but with her, I kind of, because, I mean, she more than satisfies me. Like, like I said, she probably has the most perfect feet. Yeah. I know how that sounds coming from a foot fetish guy, but. Yeah. She does. And I'm not the kind of guy who likes all feet either. Like, if I see some busted feet, I'm like, what? Like, all the

Dude's feet are fucking gross. Yeah. There's a lot of girl with some crusty toes out there. I'm honestly, like, dated a girl in high school. Yeah. And I'm pretty open with what I like, because, like, if you don't, if you're not cool with it, it's not going to work because I just like it so much. And she had, like, these freaking tear back to toes or weird feet.

And, like, the next day I just broke up with her. And I was like, yeah, I don't think I can do it. She's like, well, what the fuck? Because she was, she's pretty in the face and everything. Yeah, yeah. Once she took those shoes off, man, just can't do it. And so did you tell her, your feet are just too busted? No, I told my friends, because my friends all kind of know that I have a foot fetish.

Yeah, uh-huh. Why don't you break up to her? You should have smashed her first or something. She's hot. Yeah. Like, dude. Her feet, busted. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm sure any foot fetish guy would, could totally. totally understand, you know? So you meet your girlfriend now. You don't really do it when you're with it. Does anybody besides all the... Yeah. It's not that I don't want to do it because if I had the opportunity, like I said, I'm kind of addicted.

And, like, I have my own place and stuff now. Uh-huh. So I try to kind of do it. It's not as easy as it is in high school because, you know, when I'm not going to get them down, you don't want to look at yourself up. You kind of drink socially. Mm-hmm. Or not everybody.

will just want to spend the night or something or there's way more people than over. So even if you're, I'll call them a victim because it's kind of fucked up what I do. Even if your victim is asleep, then maybe somebody else or a friend is still up in the living room trying to do whatever. Yeah, no, you're totally right. Now that you're older, it's a whole different thing. But now that I'm older, like, normally what I'll do is I'll like go out there and create. and like I'm way bigger than like 13 year old me super ninja like I could hide under the bed like crowds in the corner yeah I'd be fucking hidden like now I'm a bigger guy I'm not fat I'm skinny but I'm

I'm six foot like 200 pounds so right so they're not really sneaking around so like I'll go in there and I actually had some friends over like I just had two friends over it's him and his girlfriend and like I got her shoes off, I got her socks off, and I rubbed it on there literally one time, and like she kind of shifted, and I, like, ran away, and just went in my room, didn't finish, was so scared to, like, even come out of my room. And then I'll just get, like, known for my foot drop.

And I want to get it, and I don't want, like, it's bad kind of, I guess I'm, there's no other way, like, I'm cheating. So, right. I don't want to do it, but I still try. But like I said, it's just harder now. I don't know. Mostly now, like, back in high school, it was easy. Like, I'd get the foot job and I'd complete it.

But now I'll, like, sneak around, maybe get their sock off, touch their foot a little bit, and then, like, run away because I don't want to get caught. I got too much to lose. Right. You're smarter. You know more. You think things through more. But that urge is still there.

It's still there. And then, like, I'll just go in the room and get, like, a foot job from my girlfriend or something. Right. Right. Right. But you have to know that it is the best way, and I don't know if you give a shit about even, you know, conquering this addiction that you have in yourself and if you feel bad about it. But really the best way to kill an addiction is to not feed it, right? it's like this little voice inside of you

that every time you listen to it and cave to it it stays alive, right? If you starve it and the only way you starve it is by not listening to it and not doing what it wants you to do, it eventually gets weaker, right?

And then it goes away. That's like, I've quit drinking, I've quit smoking, I've, obviously haven't quit eating popcorn, but it's like, you know. It's definitely gotten weaker. Yeah. Because like like when back in the day in high school like even if they got a little shifty i'll be like you know i'm just going to keep trying until i come yeah now i just get scared and i'm like

well obviously you're being too rough or you're pushing you dig on them too hard or something that woke them up you don't want to get caught right when was the last time you did it the last time uh-huh oh i had a bunch of beautiful girls over at, I think it was still at my dad's house. And we had a little party and, um, so there was, let me count the people there. This was a lot of people there at this time. Yeah. So one, two, three, four, five, six, eight people there.

And it was four guys and, wait, no, there's nine people there. There's four guys and five girls there. Right. And so I know, like, it's my best friend's girl that has some really nice feet that, like, but she's always been a light sleeper, like, I've tried before, but I never got to come on her feet. Still haven't got to come on her feet. But she was laying there kind of in an awkward position because my room was smaller than the rest of the house. She wouldn't let us, like, crash in the living room or anything.

If you're having your friends over, you've got to go in your room. So we're all like getting to the end of the night. We're playing this drinking game that's getting everybody fucked up. And it's this girl that I think is cute, her cousin over there. And then it's my girlfriend's friend and then her other friend that's over there. So I kind of like transitioned through all the feet that night. I'm just trying to get a foot out from one of them. Right.

So like I try to go for the number one girl. and I'm rubbing on her feet for a while, but I'm in such an uncomfortable position. Yeah. Like, I'm squishing in between the dresser and stuff, so I couldn't really enjoy it. So, and then she just kind of, like, hiked her feet up, like, moved and got crunched them into her butt.

Mm-hmm. And she's by her boyfriend, so I'm like, you know what, fuck that. So I go for her cousin, because they kind of look similar, and she had some pretty feet, too. Like, rub my dick on her. feet for a little bit and then kind of the same thing she's laying next to another guy so it's just awkward and then i was kind of getting irritated so i said fuck it and i just went to my girlfriend's feet and started um jerking it with her feet for a minute and then i was about to come and i was like

well you know you're you're not going to be truly satisfied if you just come on her feet because you know you you can just get that small like willingly right And so there's another girl, and she's drunk to. But she has, like, kind of the busted feet, I guess you would say. Not busted, but they weren't as pretty as the girls that I was trying to get earlier. But, like, she had really pretty souls. So, like, her feet were kind of propped up on the bed, and I ended up getting a foot job been finishing on her.

It was nice. I'd say that was the most recent. Right. The most recent successful one. Well, what do you mean successful? All meaning that you, it could go down. I mean, what would be unsuccessful? Unsuccessful is not being caught.

It's about... So, like, we have this girl that... It's actually... When a... My name. neighbors, so it's kind of fucking weird. Like, she came over, spend the night, whatever, because she talks to my roommate, the neighbor does,

and they're chilling or whatever, and we're drinking. But I creeped in there, and I tried. Like, I was, like, peeling the blanket off of her feet. Your feet were already there, but she just kind of was too awake for me. Like, I'm not going to risk that. And I was like, wake up to this guy's fucking, and it's not even like, if I was licking on feet or something like that, they'd be like, wow, that's weird. No, you're going to wake up to like a dick on your feet. Yeah.

Yeah. Probably kick me in the dick and call the police. Yeah. Yeah. So I don't, I'm, I'm careful. I'd rather go get the easy foot job from my girlfriend and get caught for the excitement because it's not too exciting anymore once you get. call it. Yeah, no, and you're going to get it. You could like literally

like go to jail. Like you don't know. You know what I mean? What happens? Yeah, you don't know. Yeah, you could literally, I mean, you know, the wrong, like, because what you're doing is very wrong, you know. Yeah, it's not, it's not right in too many ways. I think it's illegal?

Right? I mean, someone could say it's illegal now? No, I mean, it's, it's, it's, it's pretty much rape and I hate saying that word because I'm not the guy that wants to take advantage of a woman

but like I've done it and I can't go back on it and I really haven't been doing it as of much lately because like I just said I'm older and I got work and I care what people think of me like I don't know

I wouldn't be the type guy and I remember watching one of your episodes and you're like well the freaking people they've been married 30 years or whatever with normal lives and you're like no those are all the motherfuckers that call into the show wait wait what was that to explain that again what did I say it was one episode and that you were talking to a girl I think it was a stripper stories or something yeah recently yeah and she was like she's like there's these couples married for years and you know they're happy whatever, married 40, 50 years.

Oh, yeah, and I'm like, yeah, no, yeah. With no problems. And you're like, no, they're problems. They got problems. There's a motherfucker's calling into the show. And like, like me, I have my own house. I have a nice car. Right.

But you wouldn't think, I have a good paying job. You wouldn't think, like, anything of this guy. I have pretty normal hobbies. Like, I'll go shoot guns and go fishing. Right. Nobody knows besides, wait, I wanted to ask you this before. besides me and all my listeners now, right? Does anybody else know about this?

I don't even know what to call it. Nobody. I just call it like sleepy feet. And there's like, I obviously like look step up on mine because I'm like, am I the only fucking? Yeah, I wanted to know. I figured you didn't. Yeah.

Excuse me. And I'm not. There's like other guys that, like I would read on this fucking. I think it was called mouse pad or something. Yeah. And it just beats people telling, like, stories of them getting sleepy foot jobs and stuff. And that's another reason that I was like, oh, it's not so bad. Like, there's other people.

But believe me, like, believe me when I say, I know it's completely fucked up. Like, I'm taking advantage of these girls. Like, it may not be hurting them or whatever, but, like, it's completely fucked up. I do understand that. But there's just, like, a dopamine or something that takes over. Yeah, and I would say that it goes back to those early days when you were super young and, you know, the first two, the first time you did it, it just sort of happened, right? And if that was the only time it happened and we were talking and I was talking to you, like that would be like, oh, you know, you, you know, and you realize it was fucked up and you never did it again. That's one thing, right?

You could understand. I actually have a little book that I wrote back in high school. that I found the other day. And I hide it in my house. And I used to have like videos and stuff on my phone too. What do you mean videos? Of you? Yeah, like I'd record some of the stuff.

I wouldn't post it anywhere. But I'd go back and like probably jerk off to it or something because I was like, oh, that's hot. Oh, that's just another fucked up layer. What is the book? So I wrote a book. It's like a little black book, honestly. of all the girls that I've done it to,

probably like 30 names in there. And then I'll write like, where it happened, like, pretty much who hooked me up, like, whose friend's house was I staying at that night, what their name was, like, I even, like, graded their feet. Oh, yeah, I've had guys like you on before.

And then I put, like, if I come or not. Yeah, what is it all about? I had another guy who had that, and I always love to know where that fucking book is hidden because you're going to get caught. Like someone's going to find that. Where is that book in your house? Uh, I think it's just in like the old school back, like an old school bag downstairs. Do you live, you said you're basically married to this girl.

You guys obviously live together? Yeah. Okay. So why do you still keep that book? Do you still keep it updated? I mean, why would, why not throw that fucking book out? I need to. Yeah, you do need to.

I don't know. I kind of. wanted to keep it for the show. Like, I've been waiting for so long to, like, talk to somebody about it, because, like I said, I've never told anybody about it, ever. Because it's just not something that you talk about. Yeah. Listen,

I'm so glad that I did call you back. Because, you know, let's be honest. I could tell people that I was so mad at you because you were, like, 25 minutes, like, 20 minutes late for my call, and I'm like, fuck off. Because I'm just so I, you know, I've been doing that in my show. And I understood that. I felt bad. I was just around people, and I was like, I cannot, like, I can not, like,

get on the phone and talk about this. Yeah, no, no, no. And I was trying to, I was like, go away, like, get away. But then I understand where you are coming from. I was like, this is literally her job. She does this every day. Like, it makes fucking great content. Like, it's, who thinks of something like that?

But I was like, I honestly, I work and my work is like stressful. So I'll be, I'll listen to podcasts. Yeah. And then I was listening to, like, Kevin Hart podcast. Uh-huh. And then, you know, I was just thinking of, like, because I have no one to talk to about it. So I was just thinking about some things that I did in the past, and I was like, hmm, I'm going to look up with a foot fetish podcast. Yeah.

And, uh, it was the weird guy that you were talking to. I, I honestly do think he's weird. He's talking about he goes and pays to, like, massage deed or something. He's just odd. Yeah, he was from a long time ago. Mm-hmm. that was a long time ago. Like, go out and get it, bud.

I don't know. Not like me, but go out and get some kids. I think he had social issues, though. He had a lot more going on. From what I remember, if it was the guy that you were talking about. But, yeah, I looked, I was looking at your,

and I scrolled for so long, but all I could find was fucking panty-ho's shit. Yeah. And I do not get that. Like, I do not get it. It's just a piece of clothing. Like, if you like, like panty hose like is it the foot too that turns you on? I think really the legs. I get very into the whole

pantyos thing because I have a whole Patreon page just with pantyos fetish guys and so I've gotten, I've analyzed that. I'm just do not get it like I don't like me. I like the feet like take your socks off, take it off like you have it there and like same thing with the girl like naked yes come here. Yeah yeah yeah everyone's different though that's what's so interesting you know and that's what you find out you know and within a fetish, there's all different ways that it expresses itself. It's not always the same in everybody, you know, I am sure, because I was going to ask you that, like, I figured you found my podcast because you were Googling about your foot fetish, but I was wondering if you found a big community

of men out there or other guys like you that do this exact thing. Yeah, I found, like I said, that mouse pad. It was pretty much a site where they would like chat about it. Right. And there's a lot of guys on there. Did you find, like that you think? Yeah, they'd be talking about doing it to their cousins or a sister sharing those. Pretty like the same thing that I was doing, honestly. Yeah. And now just, I think I asked you this before. There is a part of you that does want to not do it, right?

Yeah, I definitely, like, if I could have, honestly, if I could have not liked feet, I would have not, like, like, feet. I like ass and titties. I always wonder growing up, like, why wasn't that good enough? Right, or you just sat, right. And then, like, you hear people like, ew, like, ew, feet, that's fucking gross. And I'm like, yeah, there are some feet that are fucking gross. Like, all dude's feet.

Yeah, it's great. Right. And that girl's foot. Like, they will literally disgust me. So I get that, but, like, a pretty little dainty, like, clinged up foot. Yeah. You know who has your same foot fetish, like a famous guy who talks a lot about? it is machine gun Kelly, which I think is cool.

You know, there's like, there needs to be people that talk about shit that other people are keeping. Right? That's me. Like, my friends used to try to give me, like, shit about it. Yeah. Like, when they found out or whatever. Yeah. Because I'd never just go around telling people, but.

Yeah. Well, I fucking, I had an ex-girlfriend because I'd always, I'd always tell them. Mm-hmm. Talking about your fucking put photos or whatever. No, it's just like, I didn't have an act embarrassed about it. I was like so. And then like, like, they try to get me shit about it. And I'm like, dude, that's what I like.

Like, you like ass and titties. I'm like, oh, Devontore plays with titties, you know. But you like ass and titties, too. You just also like feet. Yeah. Like, I, like, I... I think why you don't like it is because it's too powerful. It's good.

It's good for my girl, too, because, like, you know, we'll have sex or whatever. Because I like, I like vagina more feet, I'd have to say. Yeah. But, like, we'll have sex, and she'll have, she'll say, like, oh, I'm sore or whatever. She should just give me a fucking foot job, and I'm, like, highly satisfied because I like, she doesn't have to do, like, any work.

Yeah, no, I've heard of some fetishes like that. I even think the Panios thing is like that, too. Like, you know. I don't, I don't even know if it's, like, the sleepy feet, like, that's hot to me, but I don't, like, taking advantage of girls. Like, I'm really against rape. if that makes sense, but I rape, I guess. I don't know.

I don't know. You know, listen, I think it's really good that you, like, because you said, I hate to say that word, but I think that's what it is. I think, you know, what's good about you and what you have going for you, which a lot of people don't have forever in their life, and to have it in your 20s is super great, is you have a self-awareness. And, you know, my favorite quote is, like, know thyself. I think just a lot of people don't fucking know who they are, you know, or what they're doing

and what it means, but you do, and the fact that you know it's wrong is a good thing. That you're doing it is a bad thing, right? But the fact that you know that it's wrong and you know the proper term for it because it is raped and you use the word victims. I mean, you really see it clearly outside of yourself. And that's the first step, right? I think there's a lot of people that are out there that are doing it that don't even believe it's wrong or have pushed those feelings aside. And that's why I asked about how you felt the first couple times. Because a lot of times what happens is people feel the way that you do the first couple times, but then they go into denial and they can't get back to those feelings of how wrong it is or how

bad. You know, like, you still know those things. And I do, and I really do know. Yeah. I haven't done it in such a long time. Yeah. Because like, I'm not going to lie. It's mostly because I was scared. I was trying to do it, but I was scared. No, but that's good. It doesn't matter what. That is the reason. But I was like, but I haven't done it in a while, and I just start thinking to myself, like, what if you were friends with another guy, he had a foot fetish? And, you know, you thought that was cool. So you guys are chatting up about your foot fetish.

And then one day you guys are fucking party in or whatever, and you walk in on him trying to do that to your girlfriend. First thing I'm going to want to do is, like, shoot him in the face and kill him. Oh, yeah, and you have guns. So, like, the fact that. I do that so somebody, like, you got to realize how they feel. And like you said, earlier when the girl woke up, who knows, like, I might have fucking traumatized her for the rest of her life. Like, what the fuck is wrong with this kid?

Yeah, that's very violating, you know? And like I said, I think in those situations, sometimes it takes more than just a couple of hours or a day to really process it, you know? Um, like, my thing with me is, like, I'm really trying to stop, but it's not even necessarily that I want, like, um, fucking sleepy feet right now. Yeah. And I hate to, like, you're saying on your, uh, episode, like, people want variety. Like, after having the same thing. Yeah.

It's not that I want different vagina. Uh-huh. I do not, I do not want to sleep with, because my girlfriend is beautiful, like 10 out of 10. Yeah. Do not. Do not need to sleep with any. body else and her feet are perfect too but it's not that I want other vagina it's like I want other feet.

Right. Well, they don't have to do us. That's variety. But they don't want, they don't want to like, I don't need them to be so. But I've done thought about like, man, maybe I should just go get a prostitute one day and in here for a job. Like, I don't know. Yeah, like you're making for that guy.

Yeah, you're making fun of him and it's like, dude, he's not out there raping girls. I mean, like, why don't you take his advice? You can be cool about your footpages. And that was one time that I, uh, I was single, and I was talking to this girl. And she wasn't, like, too attractive to me. She was kind of, um, she's a little bigger, but she wasn't, like, ugly or anything. But she had some nice feet. So I, like, was hanging out with her at her house or whatever.

And then, like, wasn't, I could tell that she was trying to fuck me, but I wasn't trying to do that. So like the whole night goes out she ends up going to sleep I'm sleeping in her bed and I just ended up getting a toe job Oh right right so what do you think about what do you think about that like she was trying to sleep with me get some dick or whatever And I just ended up being a creep again when she went to sleep and she didn't know yeah yeah I think that when you know if someone's not aware I don't know if you heard about mo I don't know if you look at to the episode with Mo, who I think you should. There was an episode I had with a guy who was doing some stuff to his wife when she was sleeping with her legs, wearing panties, and posting it on YouTube and getting, I mean, I don't want to give you any ideas.

And posting it online for everyone to see. And I was like, it was like a whole sort of controversial episode because I'm like, what you're doing is illegal that you're posting videos of someone that doesn't know on line, you know, sexual stuff, that I can't air your episode until you come to the conclusion that this is fucking wrong, right? I can't just sit here and laugh about this and talk about how hot this is when it's completely not illegal, A, and it's just crossing a line for what my show is, you know? And so he did come back. I mean, I shelved that episode and I didn't air it until he had, until he took his YouTube channel down.

and understood that it was wrong and then we added to it. And, you know, and then I aired it and I gave that sort of PSA to it. But it is like when somebody is sleep, I mean, you don't air the stuff. I mean, you say you videotape it, you know, and I don't want to give you any ideas of going and fucking putting those videos online. That's what he was doing. You know, but when you're doing something to somebody that they don't know about and they don't have consent, there's no consent there, it's fucking wrong across the board, 100%. No, if sands or buds. Doesn't matter if it's a girl that tried to fuck you.

It doesn't matter if your sister's friend. It doesn't matter if you're 12 or 22. It's worse that you're older, but you know that, and that's why you've sort of curtailed it a little bit, right? It is different now that you're older. Yeah, and like I said, I've deleted, like, all the videos or whatever. Yeah, you need to, this is what you need to do. You need to not, you need to really stop this.

I think your girlfriend's cool. She knows about your foot fetish. Eventually, you're young. I think young people are so, so much, more open-minded. I think maybe you need to get permission for her to go get foot massages

at places or do foot massages. You don't know what I mean? Go do that for yourself to get your variety. Would a girl care if you get another girl's feed? Who cares? Yeah, and that's the thing like my girlfriend would go to the strip club with me. Right, so what? You need to get her on board

so you could have variety. You need to feed your foot fetish desires. I think you're a girl, would be totally fine with it, right? And so I think if you start getting off that way, right, and become, you know, making maybe like the prostitute foot, you know, your go-to jerking off thing that maybe you could rewire yourself, but you can never do the sleepy foot again, right?

Like you, it has to just be a fucking no. you have to kill that part of yourself. And like I said, the way you do it is just by denying it. I think, you know, that book, you could send me a little picture of it. I would love to post it on my Instagram while your episode is airing. But like I think, you know, if you, you throw that out along, like you had this episode, you were waiting to do it. You outed yourself. You know, I think there's a, this is the time for the death of that. You know what I mean? Like I think you have to, throwing that out would be very symbolic for you and would be helpful in creating like the end of that part of you it needs to be over don't you think yeah i definitely agree with you and that's uh that's another

reason i wanted to call because i was like you know what she gets pretty good advice to these guys and like you're not afraid to call somebody out on your shit like no not at all but i'm not i already knew It was fucked up anyway, so, like, I call people out on their shit. Yeah, I think, yeah, and that's why you like my show, because it's like you have that kind of brain, you like to pick things apart and analyze it. And you do that with yourself, which is good, right? I do that to myself, too. I call my own self out on shit, right?

That's why I've had to, you know, delete a lot of parts of myself. You know, there's a lot of parts of myself that were just like you that I knew I was doing something wrong over and over, and then, you know, I have to cut that out. I'm very good at quitting things. You know, you need to fucking quit. this because this is you crossed a line. I believe like, you know, I mean, I haven't even done it in like over a year probably. Yeah, no, that's good. And with COVID and stuff that's going on and now that like it makes it harder, you have to keep going. You know what I mean? You have to, you have to add onto that year.

It has to be 10 years. And like, listen, if you don't do it for like 10 years, it'll probably like, the longer you don't do it, the weaker it will become. I promise you that, you know. You could always get had a therapist on the side too to talk to somebody. I mean, like, listen, I didn't quit drinking all by myself. You know, I had conversations with a lot of people, whether it was an AA in the beginning, and then I had a therapist, and then I would just fucking talk to my friends because a lot of times it's very hard to cut ties with an addiction, you know? So, and it takes time. And you need help, and there's nothing wrong with that, right? So you could throw that fucking book out and make it symbolic of ending it.

You talk to me, you're going to get a lot out of this episode when you listen to it back. You're going to go to YouTube because a lot of people are going to talk about your episode there, right? And then maybe, and then you're going to want to talk to your girl about being honest about you needing a little more feet in your life somehow. You're going to bring that up and go get it. And listen about how did I bring that up? Because my girlfriend will beat down for like a lot of shit.

but I don't know. She don't like to share. Well, right. But feed, it's not like, yeah, you have to ask her. You have to say, hey, listen, maybe you bring it up like I was listening to this podcast and this guy was talking about,

like those places where you could go and give massages to fit. Like, I'm sure you could go. She could bring, come with you. You said she'd go to a strip club with you. Yeah. You know, bring it up in the heat. Like, just bring it up and see.

how she feels about it. Don't make it like a big, like a big thing that you have to do, but just feel her out. Yeah. Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, and be like I was listening to it. It was kind of like, it was like, oh, kind of hot. Like, would you be down? Would you want to come with me? Would you consider that cheating? Like, I don't know. Like, I would never do it if you weren't, you know, make her feel like she's in control of like what's going to happen and not that you've made any decisions or anything, you know, because that's the truth. You haven't done that at all. And see if she's, she'd be down because you don't know. That would help you, right?

But what you also could do is get somebody on the side. Yeah. I think it would help if like, I don't know, maybe, because like I said, she has perfect feet. And I mean, if you look at your feet from the bottom, it's pretty much the same. Yeah. So, like, maybe, like, start watching porn or something. Mm-hmm. Like, some foot porn and then just use her feet.

then I get to look like, like, look at it. I feel like she'd be more down with something like that. Really? She doesn't know that you're into feet? No, she does. Okay. So you never watch foot porn with her? You're saying if you maybe watched it with her, it would be good?

Yeah. Yeah, you could start with that. And what about this? Because I think, like I've said like this to other people with other, like, is there a way that you could get her to mock up the whole sleepy foot scenario? for you? Like, hey, baby, like, can you you, you know, like fantasy roleplaying. No, like, because, like I said,

she'll just give me one whenever I want, but... No, no, no, no, no. If she was taking a nap or something, and I wanted one, I could get, I just, I could just get one. No, that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying, have her pretend that she's a stranger. Like, get

her in on the fantasy. Like, hey, you know what I'm saying? Like, a lot of people, what a lot of do, instead of crossing a line of and doing something really naughty, They tell their partner about their fantasy. It's like the rape fantasy for women. Women don't really want to be raped, but they want to pretend to be raped, right? So they mock that all up.

But, like, you know, so they don't do it in real life, right? Oh, no, I get that. That probably actually worked. Because, like I said, she's, like, really attractive. She's a lot of looked for in a female. Right. So maybe get, like, a wig. Yeah.

Yeah, you could get hard for. Honestly. Yeah, so you tell her, like, listen, I saw, and you could say that I saw this on a porn, and it was like so hot to me, you know? Like, could you pretend to be, yeah, can you pretend to be like my sister's friend or my cousin's friend, you know, my cousin's friend and you're sleeping and I come in and I get a foot job? Like, mock, like, do your, you know, thing that gets you off with your girl in a fantasy

scenario. And it's not going to be 100% as good as the real thing. But it's probably would be good. If you have a good imagination and you could really get into it, I think it's enough to satisfy that part of yourself so you don't go do it in real life. Yeah. Right? Yeah.

I mean, is it better than like, I'll look back on my experiences that I've had? Yeah. And I'll kind of feel bad about it. Yeah. But I don't really regret it. Is it like, well? You know, no, that's normal, I think, because I think that it's so long ago and you did it so long ago. and you did it so much, you're far away from that, that feeling. I think if you really, like,

I think if you really got to a place where you went totally clean and sober of what you're doing, you know, there might be a day that you become overwhelmed with feelings of a lot more guilt than you have now, you know, but it's very, you're very detached from it. And that happens because you do something over and over. That's why I asked you, how did you feel the first couple times? because what happens when people do things that aren't right is the first couple times they feel really bad about it. But the more they do it, the more they detach from those feelings and then they go into total denial. I've done that in my life. Most people have on some level, right? And then sometimes, like there was a time for me, and I'll explain this and I think I've talked

about it so much where I busted into one of my ex-boyfriend's email accounts. By accident, I was just saying to people like, oh, you know, and I busted it. And then I started just like reading all his things and it was so wrong what I was doing but I didn't feel wrong but then one day after like a year of doing it just hit me like the feelings of what I was doing hit me so hard I could never do it again now why did I plug into those feelings that day I don't really fucking remember you know what I mean but I was able to not feel those feelings for a very long time you know but then one day it all hit me and I couldn't and I just felt all the feelings for real, were right in front of me, and I could never, like I said, do it again and that was over.

So those feelings are in you somewhere. And, you know, sometimes they don't, like, they don't come out until you're totally clean and sober or ready for them. Do you know what I mean? So, you know, how you feel about it now, like I said, the first step is how you feel about it now. You know, three steps from now, you might have a time at some point in your life moving forward if you really kick the habit. that you might actually feel worse about it, but you'll have to work through that. And I really do want to stop,

but I don't know, like, maybe one day we'll be drinking, because I don't just drink to, like, pray on somebody. Like, I'll invite friends over and we'll really have a good time, yeah? Yeah. But what if one of those good times,

like, she just passed out on the couch and it's tempting, like, where the steps that I go, like, in my mind, I'd be like, oh, it'd be so easy, you know, blah, blah, blah. What can I do with? I'm going across the scenario, like, I wasn't trying, because sometimes, like, in the past, I'd quit cleaning it, like, all right, I don't want to invite them over, blah, blah, blah. Cleaner in this room, so for sleep and I'll try it then. But, like, what if it just presents itself to me in a way?

I think you used to say, you have to do the op. to change that scenario somehow because you told me in the past that when you would do it, you wouldn't get so drunk because you wanted to be in control and you knew what you were going to do. So maybe you get really fucking drunk. Yeah, so you don't think. Yeah, you have to do some, like you have to do the opposite of what you did in the past. This is, listen, when you're quitting an addiction, it's like you against you. You know what I'm saying? You have to be, you have to mind fuck yourself. So whatever, however it worked before, you have to do something different. You have to go against that part of you. So like I said, if it's in the

past, you would, you know, work those kinds of drunk situations controlling it in the way that you were. Maybe just go in uncontrolled and not thinking about it and drink as much as you want. And, you know, you'll get drunk, forget about it, I won't do it. And then you'll be like, wow, this is better waking up and not feeling bad about doing something, you know. And the pleasure of feeling good about yourself that you didn't do something that you used to do will start to empower you and, you know, a little bit more than feeling bad. the next day, right? And that's what starts to happen, you know. So I think if you start to feel good about yourself,

denying yourself and not doing the wrong thing, and you get off on that, you know, that'll also help. Well, it kind of made it help me in a little bit was I even tried to creep on my current girlfriend now at a party, like in the middle of the field, and she was just there, like, to go to people home. So, but she was like in her color. with the flip-flops floor, I just opened the door.

Like, not even thinking, like, just open the door, and she looked at her feet, touched her foot, and then she, like, woke up. It was, like, kind of in the sleep, like, oh, what are you doing? I was, like, I don't know. And then I just was like, oh, I think they're ready to go home. No, but that's why you have to do, that's why you have to bring her into this fantasy of yours,

and you have to, listen, you don't have to cop to the fact that you used to do that. You don't have to cop to any of the stuff, you know, but moving forward, you can let her in on this as a fantasy. You could bring it up to her and you have to start living it out with her knowing. That's it. Where? These are the things. I have to go down because I've got to wrap it up.

I wish, you know, I'm glad that I knew longer. I understand. But I think this is your deal. You have to throw that book out. You have to listen to this podcast. You have to. Not do it anymore. And the way that you do that is you have to maybe arm yourself with a little bit of help moving forward.

And maybe that's getting a therapist. I don't know. Does somebody like you at your age believe in therapy? I don't know. Therapy's fucking great. No. I feel like I'm one of the therapist. Yeah, but you're not.

I got to tell you, if you get the right therapist, because I've had therapists in my life, and if you get the right therapist, they will, I know, yeah, you're young. They will never, I mean, you will never be able to get. what you get from a therapist, from anyone, not from this conversation from me, not talking to your friends. I mean, they just bring something very unique to the table. And it is very beneficial. Or, but what you could also do, that addicts do, I mean, there's meetings you could go to, you know, you could go to a sex addiction meeting. And you're going to meet a lot of people there that have similar kinds of things going on. And you could just go and listen in those rooms. And,

you know, and maybe meet up with somebody else who's a sex. addict because there's a little bit of that going on here. Yeah, I don't definitely listen to it because it's not like, I don't even like want to go sleep with what they do. Like, I'm satisfied with a vagina. It's just like the feet. I don't know. Right, and these other people are going to be able to relate, but they have other things

that are, you know, pulling them to do things that they know are wrong. So, you know, if you don't want to get therapy and that also costs a lot of money, you know you could find yourself a meeting to go to in your area. they're all over, but you need help with kicking it. It's not necessarily that money is a problem. It's just like... Maybe you don't believe in it. That's fine.

But listen, you're going to go to YouTube. You're going to see if anybody out there has had this problem or has a problem like this guy has and has kicked it and could maybe help him. You know, because what people have in AA, I never had it because I didn't stay in AA for that long is they have sponsors. It's somebody that you could talk to that really keeps you in check, you know? and you talk to them at all. If you could find somebody, like say it's not like there's different options available, right?

There's either therapy with a professional. There's, you know, going to these meetings, but also it's like getting like a sponsor. If you went to those meetings, you could find a sponsor and that's somebody that you could talk to. And you could be really fucking honest like you are with me with that person and they could help you. And, you know, in a situation like, oh, there's girls over your house and they're going to go to sleep and you feel like you're about to do something wrong. You know, you could call up that person and say, hey, I'm about to, you. know, and they can hold you accountable and maybe talk you through it so you don't do it. You know, there's help like that out there, and I think that you need it because when you are fighting addiction, like I say it's you against you, it doesn't matter how powerful you are.

You know, you need help and there's nothing wrong with that, you know, and you need to find that help. But I do also think that what will help you is mocking out and living that fantasy out with your girlfriend and getting her to roleplay, you know, the sleepy girl. She is hot. Yeah. Sleepy girl, sleepy foot fantasy. And keep me posted and let me know when you threw out that fucking books.

Let me picture of it if you want me to show it on my thing. You know, bury it, put it to death, make it a thing like this is the end of that. And listen, even if it's not tomorrow, do it,

put a date on your calendar. Before I throw out the book, because I think it's, you're kind of like a celebrity only. I think it's pretty cool talking to you. Yeah. Before I throw out the book. Yeah.

Do you like me to call back for another episode and I can go like look through the names? Because it's kind of like hard to remember it just straight off the top. But if I look at the book, I kind of remember what happened. Like I said, I wrote down where it was at. Yeah, that's what we could do because I have an episode where I taped a guy only for a half hour because he just was talking about like a dick piercing and I'm like, you know, you can't talk about an hour. You know, he's like a really normal guy that had his dick pierce. So I could add a 30 minutes.

Yeah, just on your book. Yeah, just on your book. Kind of explaining what happened real fast. Yeah, sure. So I can go back and listen. But what I was going to say, yeah, absolutely. But what I was going to say, too, because when I've quit things, it's not like I'm like,

oh, I'm going to quit it tomorrow. You might not be ready. Even if you say you're going to do it three months from now, you know what I mean? Set a specific time period and, like, you know, for that to happen. And it doesn't have to be tomorrow, you know. But we, but do. those things for yourself, start taking those steps and they'll all help you. Even one of those steps with your girlfriend doing it could really help you. But you can't do it again. It is rape.

It's very wrong. A thousand percent. And I always say this and I'm going to say it to you, and this is that I'm going to sign off is that like when you are doing something that's wrong and you know it's wrong and a part of you wants to stop, what happens is, you know, if you don't stop it yourself, that subconscious part of you that wants it to stop, creates a scenario where it's stopped for you. And you don't want that scenario to happen because that could be maybe the end of your relationship because your girl catches you doing it to someone else. It could mean somebody catches you do it and you go to fucking jail.

Do you what I mean? They call the cops on you or you get outed. I mean, you don't want it to be out of your control, you know? So what you want to do is stop this behavior in your, control while you still have it under control. Do you understand? Because you got to be, what I'm always nervous for is that person who knows they're doing something wrong is still doing it, wants to stop, but hasn't yet. Because you're, you know, the ending is coming because you want it to come. But how is it going to happen? I hope it doesn't happen in a bad way. So try to take control into your own hand now

and do it the smart way and get out of what you're doing and stop what you're doing with your had held up high. I really have tried to stop. Like, my first little step was on. I know, but listen, because I have... You know, this is wrong. I need to delete the words. I know, but listen to the word you just use.

I have tried to stop. Tried, yeah. Try is a weak word. Okay, there's weak. There's, like, like, I remember when I was going to quit smoking, people like, oh, like, are you going to try to stop? I'm like, what do you mean try? No, I'm going to stop.

Like, that's it. Like, I'm going to stop. I don't know if it's going to be really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really hard to stop, but I'm going to fucking do it, right? It's not like you're not going to try. When someone says I'm going to try to quit smoking, that's like bullshit. Like, don't bother.

Like, that means there's a part of you that doesn't think you could do it. And it can't be that. It has to be, I'm going to stop. There's also part of me that just doesn't want to stop doing it. Of course. Like, if I can get it, then why not?

Yeah, but start thinking about... The other side of me is like, because I have like a multiple personality in my head. We all do. I'll talk to me. myself. Once I'd be like, come on, man. Just goes good. And I would be like, no, you're fucking sick. We all have that, okay? That's just, that's fucking life. We all have all those little parts

and that ourselves. It depends what voice is talking about. Exactly. But you have to really start that you have to mind fuck yourself. You have to really start thinking how bad it is that you're doing, how illegal it is. You have to remember the words rape and victim. You're going to have to read the comments on YouTube to see what people say. And you have to keep facing. that reality and keep, you know, trying to do the right thing and listen to the right voice inside of you. And then you mock up the stuff, the fantasies with your girlfriend, get off on that way, and start creating like new addictions for yourself. And then we'll talk again. I have to go because now it's like almost fucking 12 o'clock. My poor son's been sitting outside this whole time.

No, it's okay. So I'll be air. I'm going to air this one next week because I've never had this thing on, you know? So you're going to get, uh, so. You're going to get, uh, so. You're, good advice. If anyone has advice for this guy or wants to talk to him, please comment below on YouTube or email me and I'll send it off to you. And then we'll talk again with your book, okay? Thanks so much for calling in. What's your name again? What do we call you?

Aaron, I think. Who? Aaron? Aaron? Yeah, yeah. Okay. All right, Aaron. Thanks so much for calling in. And we're going to talk again. All right. Good luck. Okay, bye.

Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available not only in paperback and e-book, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang being girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person. And they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person. And I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. 17 of them. They're really.

short chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format. And finally, the audio book is available coming out August 25th. But you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint. Okay. There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me. Okay. I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there.

Everybody shares content with each other. And that's what you get to do there. You could post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total, strictly anonymous community. And you will love it.

I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord. It's private, like I said. all you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook or the paperback. Send it to me at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. That's strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. And I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in.

This is the Strictly Anonymous podcast.