Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 364 - Jessica is Living Out All of her Sexual Fantasies

Episode Date: November 30, 2020

Jessica recently got divorced and is now living out all of her sexual fantasies and she calls in to talk all about it. What exactly are her sexual fantasies? Which ones have she lived out so far? Who did she live them out with? And where did she meet them? Tune in for all the details which include her sexual bucket-list, how she became a sugar baby, how much she has made so far from all her sugar daddys, the sixty year old guy she had sex with, the guy who tied her up and what he did to her, what turns her on, what turns her off, how she gets off on her own and why it might be causing her problems with her orgasms, why she got divorced in the first place and a whole lot more. **To see anonymous pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. The Craigslist is definitely like the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Santa Port or Thailand. You can't not do it.

The temptation is just too much. It's real problem. Do your friend know that you're banging her or no? No, he has no idea. And anything goes. The motto of the show, let your freak flag fly. Probably the only good advice I'll ever give you is to rehire. your wits and chain. Here is your host, Kathy.

Hey, welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast with Kathy. If you want to follow the strictly anonymous podcast on Instagram or Twitter, follow the show at Strict Anonymous. Let's get to the person they have on the show today. Her name is Jessica. I have a lot of girls emailing me, so I have a lot of female guest episodes coming up. Today is Jessica. Now, Jessica, I mean, this girl is super interesting. She, had she was married for a hot second she's still super young but she was married divorced and right after she got divorced this girl wrote out a bucket list I called it a fucket list uh and on her bucket list it wasn't like jump out of a plane or climb a mountain you know it was literally like all kinds of stuff

she wanted to do that had to do with sex like gang bangs threesomes fucking old guy and she's already fucked an old guy and she talks about she's been checking off her bucket list since she's been divorced and she hasn't even really been divorced for that long and she gets into specifics about all of it we talk about her husband and what went wrong there i make her read me her whole bucket list go to my social media my instagram you should be able to see her bucket list there i made her give me a a screenshot of it um we talk about specific things that she's done with these guys now she's in love with she's not in love it she's like interested in the girl Molly that used to call who was like it really into sex and then she like became an asker and this

girl is almost an asker because she does she did go on uh what's that thing like seeking arrangement like sugar daddy kind of stuff you know and she has a couple sugar daddies and she has done things for cash and like I said we get very specific about those things like I said she like I said how many times have I said that like I said she did fucking old guy and she talks about that she's submissive She likes things rough. We talk about that. But she also has this other thing going on where she finds it hard to orgasm. And, you know, the second half of the podcast and towards the end, we get a lot into that because that's like an interesting twist.

And I give her some homework so that she could better orgasm. I don't know if my homework's correct, but she's going to try it and then call back in. So we will get a part two from Jessica, right? But that's like I said, towards the end. So if you don't want to hear that shit, just turn it off after. after the good stories. But, like, I think it's really interesting that, you know, here's this girl that was married, divorced.

Now she has this bucket list. She's living out all these kind of crazy sexual experiences. She has even more stuff that she wants to do that she hasn't done. She's basically open for anything. But then she has this other thing going on where she finds it hard to orgasm. And that's interesting that, you know, both those things exist in the same person. But that's very real life, right? Life is like that.

People are like that. There's concoctions that don't make sense. and she doesn't make sense, which makes her fucking real. And to me, interesting. That's what I find interesting about people, people that don't make sense, that have two sides of both things inside of themselves, right? And I get into that. And like I said, I give her some homework and some advice,

and she's going to come back on in one month to talk about the homework, whether she's done it, what happened. So we'll be hearing more from her. But trust me, you're going to get a lot of information on Jessica today. So sit back, relax, and I'll be right back on with Jessica. Hey Jessica. Jessica, right?

Yes, Jessica. I'm sorry. I'm always juggling so many fake names. Hey, Jessica, welcome to the strictly anonymous podcast. How are you today? I'm good. How are you? I'm good.

Thanks for coming on. I'm always excited when I'm talking to a female caller, right? And this short story or the quick one-liner about you that I got from your email and all you told me was that, I mean, You're only 29 years old. You're not even 30, right? You've already been married and divorced. And now you have like, and during your marriage, like, there was no sex really going on, right? And but after you got divorced, and I'm assuming this is what's going on now, you created this bucket list and you're really fucking horny and you're doing a lot of things.

And that's what we're going to talk about. Correct? Exactly. Yes. So let's just start, though, like before your marriage, okay, you were only married for a year and a half. How long were you with that guy for? So we met in college. We dated for probably a year and a half and then broke up when I went to grad school and then got back together.

We were together for maybe like nine months before we got engaged. But you said in the email you said the sex when you were married and engaged was really bad. Was it great in the beginning and then it started to wean off or was it always bad with him? So when I was in college, I was not like sleeping around a lot, but definitely more than, I was definitely like hornier than I was like when I was engaged and married. But it was like nothing spectacular. Right. At the first like whatever year that we knew each other. But yeah, everything just went completely downhill, basically.

And I think it was just me like not being in the mood ever. ever. And so I think that created like a lot of tension then and then it like kind of made it even worse. Well, why were you never in the mood? Did you go on the pill or something? Because sometimes the pill could like zap a woman sex drive for sure. Yeah, I went on the, well, I was on the pill since I was like 13. But then I changed to a different one. So I think that might have something to do with it. I went on it once. I've got to tell you once. I was. I was. was on the pill. I mean, now I don't need it, but when I was younger, I did it for like a month. And I was like, it was like a, I felt like a dead person. I was like this blows. Like I felt really not horny. I couldn't get wet if you paid me. And I was like, I told a lot of my guy and I was like weepy and I told a lot of my guy friends. I'm like, you're all sitting here talking about girls and they don't like to have sex and they're always crying. And I'm like, trust me, it's like the pill. It's not women. The pill could really fuck up a girl, right? But like you said it was maybe just the wrong pill. right because you had one before and you weren't that way right yeah and I think just like emotionally

I I knew I didn't want to get married like from the beginning oh really but yeah um so looking back I think that had a lot to do with it like I knew I why did you go setting my life up wrong yeah yeah yeah why did you do why first of all why did you know it wasn't going to work out or you didn't want to get married was it him or just you didn't feel ready for it and then And why did you go through with it? So, yeah, I didn't feel ready for it. I think that the circumstances were such that it was like now or never kind of thing. With him, you mean?

Yes, yeah. And so we jumped in, basically. I was very surprised that he proposed. How old was he? Your age, right? Because you went in college, right? Yes, yeah, same age. But yeah, I just, I feel.

felt so much pressure from my family, honestly. Like, they adored him. And they just wanted me to see me married and, like, have kids and, um, right. Be happy and all that stuff. Yeah, yeah. Well, look, it costs them. Yeah. It costs them a lot of money.

Because they put together a whole wedding. Exactly. I know. I look back and I'm like, I'm sorry, dad. Like, that wedding was great, but. But wait, let me ask me this only because I just, personally have like seen and been invited to these weddings where you just know it's never going to work out because the person's like miserable and I'm like why are you taking me on this

fucking ride it's like really makes me angry you know because you're like like you're just going through all this because you can't call it off like for like for a number of reasons but and then those are the ones that always don't last like were you guys that couple where everyone knew it wasn't going to work out or did everyone was the opposite it was oh really so everyone The complete opposite. Okay, good. So you didn't take anyone on that ride. No.

And I mean, looking back, it's all very clear. But at the time, I was like, all right. Like, the wedding's exciting, like looking forward to that. And then maybe we'll have kids a few years after looking forward to that. It was just like it, my mindset was like, it will change. Like, it'll get better. Right. And it just snowballed before you know what, you're married.

And a year, you don't even last a year and a half. Like, what happened that you? guys both decided to call it quits. Did something major happen? Are we just miserable the whole time to both of you? We, that's the thing. We weren't miserable at all. And it was more one-sided. It was me who was less happy. But it, yeah, it was just one of those things where I got to the point that I was like, I don't want to just kind of wait till it might get better. And then, and like ruined my life because like we have kids together. And not that that's like a life ruiner, but it would be tied to that person forever.

Right. Exactly. Yeah. And I mean, thank goodness because I don't want kids now. And I'm so glad that like I made that decision before. Right. That happened basically. But yeah, I'm so glad I made that decision.

Like I have no regrets whatsoever. So when you, you weren't in the mood for sex. him so I'm assuming you weren't in the mood for sex with anybody like there was no cheating going on during your relationship with him or anything like that on your end no not at all I was just like a little hermit sexually right so you weren't interested in anyone so you get divorced right and then when do you realize that you're hornier than ever all of a sudden um it was probably like a month Oh my God, hilarious. I was like, okay, like, hello.

So, yeah, I started to go on the prowl, basically, and I got on, like, a few dating apps and stuff and met a few people. So remember when you had Molly on the show? Yeah. Everyone remembers Molly. I've had her on like four times. I know. I love her because we seem so similar. Like I don't want to date anyone.

I'm just kind of in it for like sexual experiences. So I was like, I need to know this woman. That's so funny. I can put you guys in touch. I could always see if she would be interested in talking to another. You know what I mean? A lot of times I put guests or people together. I could always see on the downlow if she wants to, you know.

Yeah, that would be awesome because, yeah. Yeah, I just feel like I don't talk to many people about it because it's like there is kind of a stigma still about women like acting that way. Totally. Uh-huh. Acting like men and I'm like, I don't fucking care. I'm just not really going to tell anyone about it. Right. So we, except me and not my whole audience.

But right, that's what we're talking about. People, if you're like, mom. Molly, people are going to love this fucking episode because people love her episode just like you did, especially the guys. But, you know, it's interesting that you as a female feel, like, you know, connected to her. Like how, like, because what I was, what was interesting to me about Molly is that she would just be, like, it could be like random guys, one after the other, you know what I mean? I mean, she was that into sex and she didn't need it to be the same guy or have any kind of

emotional connection or even friendship with them, you know, I mean, it could just be a guy that she just met. I mean, there was one time. Did you listen to all of her episodes, Molly's? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, where she would like, was at the airport. Do you remember that story? Yeah.

I mean, you know, your guys that you have sex with now, and I'll get way more specific, but just real quick, like, is it like one-offs or do you have, like, the guys that you see all the time that you're having sex with? It's, I like it to be one time, but there have been a couple that, um, repeat yes exactly yeah that's even interesting to me i think that's why i was asking more so because for me like there was a lot of times in my life where i don't want to be in a relationship but i want to have

sex and i would have long-term booty calls but for me it was always like i liked it to be the same guy as opposed to like one-offs you know what i mean so i'm always interested to talk because it's like the opposite me you know and i i do think it's uh you don't it's not to say that women like that don't exist i think that they don't talk about as much because look you're you're you're younger, right? And I think it's, people are much more open-minded in your generation, right? But there still is a little bit of that stigma that you're not going to walk around totally being open. I know you said you tell one of your girlfriends about stuff that you do. But like, does anyone know about the fact that you have a bucket list? Or we should say like a fuck-in list? I don't know. Yeah. No, no one. Oh, well, whenever, I've met up with a couple guys who have seen it, which I can talk more about this one guy. but it's funny they're always like oh i i can help you with that i can help you with that one like how many things are on your bucket list how many let me it's on the notes in my phone let me see yeah and if you don't mind i don't know like

if you would be interested because it would make like an interesting you know instagram post you could always screenshot it without yeah as long as there's no names or anything i'd love to post that or show people it'd be i think it would be super interesting How many things are all right? Like is it written out like one, two, three? It's, no, I just have them like in a list. Yeah. There's probably like 40.

Interesting. Oh my God, I need to see all of those. I'm adding like all the time. You are? Yeah. Yeah. So I can read a few if you want me to like go. Yeah.

Whatever you think. Yeah, no, no, no. Yeah. Well, let's start with this. So you get divorced from your husband, right? And then do you immediately start right? Because you're horny right away, right? You get on these apps.

You're meeting guys. I'm assuming you start to have sex with these people. And then do you write the bucket list? Like, when does this bucket list start? So the bucket list actually started a few months ago because one, one of them that was really big, just that might, like, I have like a normal bucket list. and the categories of like sexual like travel that kind of you know. Yeah, yeah. And so one of my big ones overall was be a sugar baby.

And I was like, oh, perfect time. Like I'm in my, you know, late stage of my prime. So let's get this done. So I started with that. I started on the Seeking Arrangements website. This was like I started this like six months ago or something. Yeah. But yeah, and then I just started meeting guys and, like, learning about, like, fetishes that are out there and all that stuff.

And so that's kind of what started. Oh, my God. I don't even know where to start with you. But let's start with the show. I mean, because we're talking, like, you started, like, just sleeping around, right, a year and a half ago. And then this bucket list started now. Maybe we'll just start with the bucket list and then we'll go back, you know. But because I'm assuming before you started this bucket list.

list, right? You were also having a lot of sex before that too, right? Where were you meeting the guys? Yeah, I wasn't having like a ton of sex. But yeah, I was meeting that like what apps. Yeah, yeah. Were you on different apps and did you like, were you, I mean, I would assume if you're just putting it straight up out there that you just want to sleep with people and you're not interested in a relationship that you're going to get hit up a lot. Yeah. So the weird thing, is I have never been on like Tinder, right? Or like any like, um, straight up or having sex kind of things. Yeah.

But, um, the one app is called Hinge and it's just like a dating. Like, it's kind of like, like, Tinder is like the hookup thing. And then Hinge and Bumble are like dating and like maybe hooking up, but more so dating. Yeah. Um, so yeah, I met the few guys on Hinge. Uh-huh. And did you know when you were going in or was it after you met with a couple of them that like you really didn't want a relationship and you just wanted to have sex? Or you were just like so horny that was the way that you figured you should just meet guys?

I had the first one I had no intention of like hooking up with it all. Right. It was just more of like a dating thing because I was like I can't see myself doing. You know like hooking up like one night stand type of thing. But then but then we did. was like he wanted to sleep over and I was like please no please god um because I just wanted to like move on like to the next right so it's something you kind of figured out on your own what were you going to say that's another what that's just kind of another weird thing about me is like

I don't like when people sleep over I don't like sleeping over people's houses like I don't like any of the anything that would like look like we're dating or anything. Right. Any kind of intimacy. I get that. If I,

like if I had a booty call, I wouldn't, the last thing I wanted to do is wake up with them spooning me. It would be horrified. That would happen when I was drinking a lot. And I would just be like, really wake up and be like, oh my God,

get the fuck out of here. You know? Yeah. Seriously. Yeah. So you realized it after. Like you didn't really go into. this whole phase of your life thinking like this is what you wanted it just started to happen after you

started having sex with guys you realize you don't want anything else right exactly and then you so you go on this sugar like that was something that was on your regular bucket list right like you want to be a sugar baby and what about that is uh is it that you what you just want the cash or that it's like a hot scenario to you i mean what about that whole thing was a turn on or an interest what made it interesting to you? So at the beginning, I, it was just one of those things were like, well, I always want to do it. It won't be fun like, like skydiving or something. Yeah. Like you're not sure like what exactly you're going to get out of it, but you just know you want to do it at some point. There's something thrilling about it to you. Uh-huh. Yeah, exactly. So that's

all that I, I had no like expectations when I started it or anything. Um, but also like in the back of my head I'm like all right got some student loans you know racking up the student loan so um obviously that was like a bonus like if I were to get paid for hanging out with people yeah and so then what happened so I there's there's a lot of interesting people on those sites and I've met up with probably so like the first first thing you do is like a little meat and greet. So you'll just meet up for like coffee or something and then just for like a half an hour and make sure you both are like psychopaths. And then the arrangement can start. Like if there's, if you guys agree on like the terms. So I have gone through with it with two guys and then

two other ones I'm like not super consistent with but there's also been like arrangements there so what kind arrangements have you had and can you tell me about those two guys that you did have arrangements with yeah the um so I guess I have four total that are kind of like in the in the mix in the roster

um but one of them um he's a really sweet guy. He's like mid-40s. And all he wanted to do was like he just wanted a companion. And so literally every week we'll just take a walk together and like maybe get coffee and he pays me $300. A week?

Yeah. Every walk you get paid $300 bucks. Yeah. Literally a walk. We have hugged a couple times. You said, yeah. married or single guy? He's single.

Is he creepy or not attractive? Like, why do you think he's like so alone at that age? I think that he is so socially awkward. Right. And I kind of, like, obviously I haven't proposed this to him, but I kind of want to like help him date or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wonder what he would say to that.

But yeah, he's just extremely awkward. Right, but do you find that now that you've had a couple walks with him? I don't know how many you've had that, you know, he isn't as awkward after you get to know him? That's a no. So no, not at all. So, okay, now what? So you get 300 from him. Tell me about the other guys.

So the other one, basically, like, we'll just meet up, like, whenever my schedule. allows because he he owns his own business so he can kind of you know make anything work um is he married what the hell is that noise from is he married no he's not married um sorry i got but he he um how old is he he's like 40 okay maybe so he single he's in his 40 is he attractive You know, not really. Not really. But he's not like, you know, I'm like, oh, God, great. Like, we have to fuck now.

But basically, like, we'll just hang out and, like, I don't know, I'll go over there and, like, we'll watch TV or, like, just like hanging out his friends. And then we'll have sex and he pays me 350 each time. So he gets sex for only $50 more than the other guy. Right. I know. I feel like I need to renegotiate. Yeah, you should be getting more, don't you think? Or the other guy should be getting less?

I don't know. It doesn't make any sense. But I get that you're just doing. I think you talk to Molly about that. And how many times a month do you see him? I haven't seen him for a few weeks now, but usually it's like once every week or two weeks, probably. Right. And is the sex good?

Like, do you enjoy the sex with him? Yeah, yeah. He, the good thing about him is he like gets off pretty quickly. And so long story short with me, I like take a little while to recover between having sex with people. Like, it just kind of ruins my body for like three days. What do you mean? So I, I mean, I like to, I like to. be really rough and stuff. And I feel I'm very like petite. And so I think that, um,

everything is petite. And so it, I'm like sore for a few days after. Right. Okay. So sore that you can't like have sex again. Right. Like I would never be able to do like two days in a row. Well, if you didn't, weren't so rough, maybe you could or is that just how it has to be. They have to like pound you for you to get off. Yeah, basically. Right. Okay. All right. So this guy you see, but now, what are, what's the deal with the other two guys? So the other two, one is more recent. We've just hung out once, but he is married and he has two kids. And he, he's really cool. We have a lot in common. And he's probably mid-40s as well. And he pays me, I think it was 400 for going out to drinks and then he came up after.

Oh, so you do have sex with him too? Yeah, I've actually only met up with him once. So, yeah. Right. But that's a new one. And then what about the other guy? The other guy. Yeah, you said that there's two other ones.

There's two other ones that I have met up with like a small handful of times and then I will not again probably. How come? So one of them was extremely attractive. I met him on the seeking arrangement site and he was I think 36. And so it was kind of like a rare find on there. So we hooked up probably two or three times. And the last time I, he like spanked me so hard that I had like waltz and bruises on both in my butt cheeks for like a week.

Right. It was like at the time I. you know like I showed this I took pictures of my butt and showed it to this friend and she was like oh my god how did you let that happen and I was like I it was shocking like you know when someone hits you so well maybe not yeah like sometimes like so painful and you're like what like you have like no room to like even react really right um and so did you enjoy it or not enjoy it I enjoyed it. I think I'm in this mode where like I just want to try everything.

And so that was like me trying like something like really rough. And I was just laughing. Like I couldn't contain my laughter and I was trying to hide it. But it was just shockingly hard. And so it was that the last time you saw him? How much did he pay? he only paid me like 150 but he got really clingy surprisingly right and then I was kind of like okay now I see why like you're very attractive you're loaded but you're on a site like this

is because you're clingy as fuck um can I just ask you on a scale of one to 10 like what do you look like right like what are these guys thinking when you walk in the door I was so if I like put makeup on and get dressed up and everything I'd say probably like an eight if I'm like bumming around like I am today probably like six yeah but you don't bum around with these guys right you show up looking your best right so in you walk and you're like at eight so these guys are probably feel like they hit the jackpot too right right yeah yeah that's kind of what I run into is people get so clingy and I'm like the opposite of that. Right.

So this, the 30 year old guy was just so clingy that I was like, I can't come here anymore. Like I don't want to continue this. Was it because you were open to doing the things that he was into maybe and he couldn't find another girl that wanted to be like, you know, slapped around? Wait, what? Do you think maybe it was because you were. like really into being like you know slapped around or allowed it to happen and he found that hard to find somebody else maybe maybe it was like that you know he was like really horny for you or when

you say clingy was it like he wanted to text you all the time and like just talk yes he like i was pretty drunk a couple times i was over there so i fell asleep there yeah and in the morning he just got all like he was like come here like let's cuddle like let's order brunch and eat it here Like, stop. He wanted that with, I think that would be called the girlfriend experience. Yes, exactly. Yes. Yeah.

Some guy liked that. Yeah. Yeah. I think most of them actually prefer that, honestly. Yeah. Yeah. Totally. But I think a lot of girls, when they're just interested in having sex with a guy, like

they don't really want to do all that, right? I get. That's not what you're looking for. Right. Exactly. But maybe if you would have made him pay a little bit more, it would have been worth it but for a hundred bucks i mean that wasn't that wasn't that much so let's get back to the bucket list which is the which one of these guys is the one that saw it um the most recent one who's married

and has kids and then another one that i haven't talked about yet but he um i have a story about him but he was like 60 uh-huh tell us tell me that story okay okay ready yeah okay so mollie had like an year old that fisted her right remember that one i know i was like bucket list yeah added um so yeah one of the things is like fucking old guy so this was my you know oh that's one of the things on your list like fuck a really old guy yes so this one was like maybe early 60s um so he we did the little meet and greet and all that and he um we made it a point to like okay we're going to going to set a date and you're going to come over to my apartment and we're going to hook up and then you're going to leave. And that was I think $400. So he comes over. He is, he looks older than my dad.

Okay. So I'm like, my vagina is like shriveled up like so dry. What do you expect that 60-something year old guy to be like hot? I don't know. I was like drinking wine before. beforehand talking to my friend who I talked to about this trying to like get hyped up to do this. And she was like, you're fine. Just do it. Just close your eyes. She's like your coach. Just get the 400.

Oh, my God. And so he comes over and I'm like the wine did nothing. I'm like so sober. And I'm like, so we sit on the couch and I like light some candles. And I was like, so tell me kind of your experience with this. And because I was very uncomfortable. Like not like I felt unsafe or anything, but I was like, I have never done this before. You know, like that kind of feeling.

So I'm like, tell me about your other experiences. And he was like, well, I had, I have kind of this fetish for like being dominant. And I was like, okay, tell me more. And he goes, okay, so I had this one like sugar baby. And she was very into being submissive. And I was like, okay, not me, but continue. And he was like, I said, tell me something that like you would have her do. And he was like, okay, so I would be at work on like a Tuesday afternoon.

And I would text her. And I would say, I would say, find a quarter from 1972. And don't text me until you find it and send me a picture of it. What? And I was like, wait, what the fuck? And he was like, yeah, she liked it. So she would spend the whole week looking for a quarter from 1972 and get all excited when she found one because she could talk to me again.

Yeah, I've heard this from the BDSM callers that have called in. Like a lot of times, like what's interesting about it to me is it's like there's not a lot of, like it's not only about sex, right? I think we most of us think like, oh, if that's going down, sub and Dom they get together and they beat each other up and have sex, right? But a lot of it is this other weird stuff. Like I've heard that before. And you're sitting there having to fuck the guy for $400 and like that girl just

had to find a penny? I mean, yeah, I don't know what their arrangement was, but I, that kind of opened my eyes to like that kind of fetish lifestyle. And so I was like, okay. Like maybe I can learn more about this, but it was, I just thought it was so funny. Yeah, that's hilarious. It's fascinating, right? Did you add that to your bucket list?

No, I didn't add that. But I have a few like BDSM kind of things I want to do. But wait, let's, what did? So how was the sex with him? And how much did you get paid by him again? Sorry, 400? 400, yeah. It was disgusting.

and I Wait, why was it disgusting? Okay, so I was so nervous, right? And so I was like, just, you know, you take the lead here. I don't know what I'm doing. And he was like, okay, so I'm going to go in there and get undress and you come in five minutes and then you're going to get undress. And I was like, okay.

So I go in there My heart's like pounding And he He was like Do you want the lights on or off? And I was like off Uh huh And he

I'm assuming because you're afraid to Maybe get the full picture of him Yeah I was so nervous Like I didn't want him seeing me I didn't want to see him It was just I was like Let's just do this So he's like, I take off like my clothes and I just have like my underwear and bra and he's like sitting on the edge of my bed.

So creepy and he's like, come here. Like, oh God, here we go. Yeah. And so he pulls. I'm like standing in front of him. He's like, okay, do a little twirl. And I'm like, ew. Right.

And so he's like going all slow and he, like, when he came, it was the longest, loudest thing I've ever heard. And I was disgusted. He was just like the longest orgasm ever, I think. Interesting. Do you use a condom with him? Yes. Okay. Yeah.

Okay. So he's just calming and he's really loud and it's really long and you're just like waiting for it to be over? Yes. Exactly. Yeah. So he that, I got that over with like never do it again, but I'm glad I did it. But did you so was that, did you check off the be, you know, fucking old guy off of your bucket list after that guy? Or is there still a fucking old guy on your bucket list?

You just looking for a hotter one? I cross that one off. Okay. That counted for me. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Let's get to this.

Like, what else? What, let's hear what's on this bucket list of the shit that you've done, the shit that you want to do. Okay. Let me pull it up. I'm going to get a picture of that too. You'll send me email me a screenshot. Oh, yeah. That'll be a good teaser to your episode.

Okay. Some of these are like, you know, the typical, like, fuck on a plane. It's okay, let's just hear them. There's 40 of them, right? And then let's talk about the ones that you've done or any good stories that you got. Okay. So threesome with two women, one man. Have you done that yet?

No, I haven't. Okay. Threesome with two men, one woman. Fuck a black guy. Uh-huh. Fuck on a rooftop. Fucking an elevator. Whip someone.

get paid a hundred or a thousand dollars to fuck someone be tied up fucking a club step on someone's back with heels on oh my god what did that come up that's so funny i don't know uh double penetration um get vibrating underwear from someone uh be an escort fuck a cop

Don't you feel like you're kind of like an escort A little bit Because of You know A little bit Yeah Because of the seeking arrangement I mean all these guys

You've told me about You know you They've paid you So that is kind of like being asked But you want to do it like Old school Like you're an escort They're calling you up as an escort

This is your pay Like you're on a website As an escort Yeah I would totally do that Yeah Okay, keep going. Find my G spot.

Fuck a celebrity. Fuck a hockey player. Fucking an office. Fucking old guy. Learn how to squirt. Fucking a fire truck. That's on my list. Learn how to squirt.

Yeah. Go on. Yes. Right? Yeah. Are you jealous for the people that can? I am. Yeah.

Go on. Have an orgasm during sex, which I never have. You mean like just with their dick inside of you? Right, yeah. So do you play with your clit and have an orgasm? So that's why you enjoy sex or are you just not ever having an orgasm through penetration? Never. So that's kind of the thing I want your advice on.

Yes. I can only have an orgasm like by myself. Not with a guy, even when he goes down on you. Never. Never? Well, I have. This throws a whole interesting. thing into your story but go on i know so yeah i had this boyfriend in college um who would go down

on me and i would then but no other time ever what about with your husband with anyone i mean because i think that's the easiest thing right is to get so to go get off on like someone going down on you right because the clit is so easy it's like right there you know where sometimes the inside orgasms are harder to reach depending on where your g spot is or whatever you know but so in all these times that you're hooking up with all these guys and all the sex that you're having when guys go have you ever had orgasms with anyone else except that guy and you're like did you have them with your husband no never did you have them with any of these guys that you've been with since your husband nope it's interesting to me and but yet you love sex and you want all these things

and all these things turn you on and make you horny i'm assuming you're just masturbatingly crazy because you have like this dirty mind you want to do all these things you have all these fantasies right and you got the balls to live them out right you're like out there looking living it up checking those things off you fucked an old guy already but yet you can't get off when you show up to the game right but yet you're so into it it's interesting yeah finish your bucket list and then we're going to get on to that but finish your bucket list okay um go to a sex party fuck a couple, fuck someone way younger than me. Okay. And that's it? That was it?

Yeah, that's it. Okay. Well, not that's it. I mean, that's basically like everything you can do, right? I don't think that there's much on there that, you know, I think you said you wanted to add in the 80-year-old fist in you from Mollies. Oh,

I would gang bang. That's another one. Oh, you want the gang bang. That's like the hottest topic I have to tell you on my podcast. Like, if I have someone in there that wants it, if I put the word gang bang in your. your show. You won't even believe

him if people will listen. Okay, so I mean, that's basically everything and anything. But you, I don't know that I want to like, I'm going to touch on the, you know, the advice that I'm going to give you about having an orgasmal guy. It is really interesting that you're like

really super horny and into all this stuff. Yet, like I said, when it comes down to it, do you think that when you're with the guy that you're very in your head or, you know, what do you think is the difference? Because when you're getting yourself off at home, right how are you getting yourself off are you using your hand are you shoving something inside of yourself can you get off anyway when you're home alone yeah just like a clip vibrator just a vibrator like

that's it yeah throw that fucking vibrator out i hate vibrators i don't know why people use them all the time because i'm sorry like i've used it every now and then i like toys don't get me wrong right but um and there have been some toys that are kind of like there's this clit kisser thing on Adam and Eve once many, many years ago. I bought it recently and it doesn't work anymore, but it was like the most amazing thing and it was like a suction cup

and it had like a vibrating thing at the same time. It was like so good. I wouldn't leave my house. I had to throw it out because I was like getting abused. Oh, is that what you use? Yeah. Oh yeah, throw it out.

It's like it's going to, first of all, it's going to ruin you down there. Second of all, you're never going to enjoy regular sex because it will never be like that. You know what I mean? It's probably what it is. Yeah. And I would find what straight up regular

vibrators that are just really vibrating the shit out of your pussy. Like, I'm sorry, but it makes you kind of numbish. Like, that's what it would do to me. And I know that that goes away, but I never like that. Like, my biggest fear was always that, like, I would never be able to have regular orgasms because no guy and nothing a guy does to you will ever feel like that. You know what I mean? And maybe you're just using the vibrator way too much.

You ever just use your hand or a dildo or something else? No. You should. Try, like, doing a little practice work on yourself where you're not really, you know, where you're not using that vibrator or that clit kiss or thing or whatever, you know, all your other toys that are vibrating you down there. And just use your hand or just shove something inside of yourself. Like get like a little wand or something, you know, try to look for your G spot and think

of all these naughty, dirty scenarios that you're into and, you know, have fun. But you have to like explore other ways. to have orgasms. I think you're not having orgasms because there's, because of you've just wired yourself to come through such intense vibration. Like, how are you going to have it? Like, not even a guy going down on you could do it, you know? Yeah, I know.

That's a good idea to try other things. Yeah, I feel like I also have to be like so relaxed and comfortable. With a guy? To do it. Yes. Yeah. Like, the times that I have. Yeah, that's the reason why I said, like, for me, I'm a little wired.

Like, I would have a lot of time in between boyfriends, right? But I wanted sex. So I would have long-term booty calls. I've talked about it on my show before. One of my, my early co-hosts was one guy that I fucked for, like, years, you know? But I always like to be with the same guy, and I like that booty called be someone I know because, to me, the sex would be better because I would feel comfortable with them, right? There was no connection or anything like that. It wasn't about that, but it was just about being comfortable enough to really, like,

go and also have you know and I just think the sex gets better when you know someone but they're just like I said there doesn't have to be that intimacy there right but with somebody that I know and I feel comfortable it just gets better whereas you're having these one-offs with these guys right and so you don't really have time to be comfortable with them I mean maybe the guys that you're seeing on arrangement.com whatever right because you're getting you to know them I don't know are you totally yeah when you're with them and totally turned on with all these guys that you're with I mean, not always. Like if they're not attractive, not always.

But I feel like it might help if I had like a, like you said, a long-term foodie call that we know like the, you know, we're not going to act like we're dating at all. I think that's what I run into with why I don't want something long-term is because I don't want that to come into the picture. like it has. Yeah, you could find it. You know what I mean? For sure, especially because, listen, if you're a guy talking to me and saying, hey, I want to just find a long-term booty call and a girl that doesn't get, you know, messy and all that shit.

Like, I'd be like, that's harder to find because there's a couple of things that have to go into play to make, like, the perfect booty call scenario. It's hard to find, right? But because you're the girl and you're really, like, interested in not having a relationship right now, there would be guys lining up, okay, around your. house ready to fuck you every day until you feel comfortable and you know and not and not sleep over your house and leave the minute it's done and never text you okay like seriously perfect there's plenty of guys out there that would like that situation to me it's interesting that you haven't

like really like you don't look for that or you haven't set it up that way i mean you're really in the driver's seat here right because you are the unicorn you're the girl everyone's going to be tuning in, you're going to see, if you go, you can't see like the regular podcast stats, only I see it, but you could see on YouTube, you know, how many, how many people download the episodes on YouTube. And it's always interesting. You could see the ones that are like really highly downloaded. And yours is going to be, you know, because people are going to be like, oh my God, I'm not going to put out, Jessica can't have an orgasm. No, it's going to be Jessica as a fuck it list, you know, and she just wants to do everything, right? So so many people are going to be tuning in to listen to

that because you are more the unicorn, right? That girl that just loves sex is so open-minded, wants to try all these things. But you're missing something, which I think it's, you know, you could fake it with the guys, but you're missing it for yourself, is the fact that you want to do all these things, but you're not really going to enjoy them. But this is what people have told me before, because I'm always like, oh, with sexual encounters, like if you don't have an orgasm, what's the point? It's kind of like going to the restaurant, ordering a steak and like just looking at it,

you know? But people have explained to me that that's not the case, right? Like if you're just enjoying it and it's like really great, even if you don't have an orgasm, it still can be amazing. Are you enjoying these times? Are you totally wet? It's just that you just can't like sort of go over the edge and have that orgasm and like and complete it. But it's still like amazing and like, you know, satisfying.

Yeah. Like I have so much fun during it. Right. And like I just love the experience of it. And it's like an orgasm would probably be like the cherry on top. Right. But even without it, it's excited. Right.

Yes, exactly. You've gone us far. What we're going to say? I've just gone this far with like not having them but still having fun. Have you ever been close with any of these guys or anything, any scenario? Like have you ever been close to having an orgasm with anyone besides that boyfriend that would go down on you? Um, yes. I, this was one of the like dating ass guys. He, yeah, was going down on me. And then he, he looked up at me and that just killed it. I was like, it took you out. Have you ever had that happen? Yeah, well, that's just you just got in your head, right? Like, that's what's really stopping you is like you're, you're, you get in your head.

about the littlest thing right a guy looks up at you don't look down i know that like close your eyes like i will forever keep my eyes closed i'm not going to look at down but why what about him really was it just like because he was a stranger was because he was fucking ugly like what was it no it was just i yeah got intimate that i yeah i think part of it is like eye contact is intimate And then the other part is like, like, guys are so, like, vulnerable, it seems like when they're, like, eating you out. It's like, to me, it's kind of like, it's not like the most masculine thing ever to me. Uh-huh. And I, that might change as I go along with this.

But it's just a total turnoff. Oh, interesting. Maybe you're, like, really are, like, a submissive and you're really. like real dominant men. It's interesting that you see it that way. But I'm sure there's other women that see it that way, right? Because I never looked at it that way because I love when a guy goes down to me. But like the fact that he's like there and he's doing that, yeah, that is more of a submissive thing, right?

At that moment, right? Because he's like catering to you doing everything for you. Right. Right. Exactly. And that turns you off. Yeah. What turns you on?

like if he would to deny you or like if he would to be like force you to do what he wants to do and make you like shove your mouth on his cock and like shove it down your throat like what is it I like you just said I feel like it's I like when people are dominant right because I I think that I am dominant like in my everyday life like with my job and all that stuff and it's just I want that to be taken off of me basically like during sex yeah even like when you said you were when you were with that old guy you were like oh I was so nervous I wanted him to tell me what to do but maybe it's still that part of you that likes to be told you know what I mean like it's not it's because you don't want to be the dominant one to take over the control of the situation with the guy right

you want him to do it right and I do find that a lot of times when I have subs on or doms on like they tend to be the opposite in their regular life. And I'm sure that's not the case all the time, right? Nothing's ever 100% black and white. But, you know, I have heard it most of the time that the person that is very dominant in their regular life likes to be submissive in their, you know, in the life. Have you ever been with a woman? No, I haven't. But that's something you want to do.

Yes. Yeah, for sure. What about the friend of yours that knows about all this stuff that goes down? Does she do the same kind of stuff? So she is married, but she, up until she was married, she was always kind of a little, like, freak. And she just loves hearing what I love to. She's like living like curiously through you. I think so a little bit.

Yeah. Why don't you, when you, like, are you still on all these dating sites and stuff? like and seeking arrangement like where are you currently like at so i'm just kind of been taking a little break right now for the past couple weeks um how come i'll do this every so often just kind of like just you know just take a break basically um so that's what i'm doing right now yeah i think if you try a little i think you know you should go on a mission you know to try to be a little bit more specific about what you're looking for and then maybe try to give somebody you know and like I said when you're being specific it's not just about like oh I want to be dominated I want a sugar daddy

it should also be I want absolutely no strings attached you know what I mean like seriously you will weed out the guys because listen there are guys that just want to fuck you and don't want a relationship but they do want girlfriend experience nothing's more aggravating to me too I get it like if I'm just having a booty call, I like it to be fast. Like, I don't want three hour session. Do you know what I'm saying? Yes, exactly. Yeah.

And like spooning. Yeah. Or just the stuff before. It's just a long, or some guys just want to like have sex with you for hours and hours. I don't know. You know, if I really like somebody, I want to do that, right? But for you, I think you should get really, really, like you could continue to do what you're doing and live out the bucket list and you're enjoying it and having fun in the moment and all that stuff.

but also to get to the point where you could orgasm with guys and maybe I think you should be a little bit more specific in one place, like maybe on one site or on one profile and, you know, work out your stuff that way while you're doing all the other stuff that you're doing. With the hopes that eventually, you know, you meet the right guy that at this point in your life where you really want no attachments and stuff where you could have fun and live out some of these fantasies, right? If you put on there, like you want to be dominant, I want to try three things, like all this stuff. Like I told you, you will literally have guys lining up for you and you could find that right guy. You'll have to probably do some weeding out, right? But that's like anything in life. You know, if you want, first of all, there's nothing perfect.

But and if you want a good thing, you know, you got to do a little work, right? So you might have to meet up or have a cocktail or fuck a couple guys that aren't correct or have somebody look at you lovingly while he's doing something and you get turned off again. you know until you find the right guy but I'm I just do believe that it's what you're looking for is very out there and you need to like I said be more specific because like what you're looking for specifically is not hard to find it's not you're like like you're the unicorn put in there that you don't want any attachments you don't you know you just want a sex you want to live out your fantasies you are dominant you want someone to take the lead you know all that kind of stuff so that you're kind of guaranteeing that you're going to have like the hottest scenario, you know,

and wait until, and then when you find the right guy that is really good, hopefully he's paying or if he's not, just like keep going back to that one person because it's not like intimacy. I think what happens, it happens with guys too, though, for sure. If you're just banging somebody, like everyone says, oh, what happens? A booty calls us someone copse feelings. And that definitely does happen, right? It's not just the girl. Guys could cop feelings too, right?

So you want to really make sure that you find somebody the right person and look for it. And I definitely think you have to throw out your vibrator for now. Any of those vibrating things. Yeah. That's a good idea. I mean, you have all this, like all this shit that you want to do that you're open to. I'm assuming you have a field day with yourself, right? You're enjoying your time with all these guys. But I wish you could be having orgasms too.

but that's because I'm like wired where I think that's the end-all be-all. I don't know. And I know that that's not right. Because look, you're here to say that you've been having all this kind of sex, living out all your fantasies, right? And you're really enjoying it, right? But you would just like that, like that cherry on the top, right? Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Yeah, you need, I think you're just using too much vibration on your clit. I think you should stop. but try using your hand. Like I said, try getting a toy that just goes in to look for your G spot. Even if that vibrates inside, that's okay. But I think, and I'm just literally, like, if anybody listening to this has any advice for you, right, that's wrong, because I always say I give unprofessional advice. I don't know because I'm looking at from my standpoint, what I know about me, right?

I love clitoral stimulation for sure, right? And that's the easiest way to get off. And I, but I've always shy to. away from vibrators because I don't because they numb me out for like a day afterwards, you know, and then it's like, then you're fine, right? And even if it's maybe a couple hours, but that always, I always got nervous that it would happen long term. So I'm just giving my advice to you from my standpoint, but if somebody else has some other

kind of advice for you on how you could make that happen, let me know, like comment and YouTube or send me an email, I'll send it to you. What is the, what are the things on that list that you've done already? let's see I've definitely been there's kind of a funny story with being tied up yeah that I can tell real quick so I I met um this is probably a few months ago I met this guy on a dating nap not the seeking arrangements and we like went out for drinks so then we went back to his house and I wasn't like super attracted to him but I know he told me like how He used to, like, go to sex parties.

And I was like, okay, like, this could be my little, like, gateway drug here. Like, I could, you know, get in with him and then, you know. So we go back to his house and he's, we start hooking up. And he's like, okay, come upstairs, like, to my bedroom. And he, like, was all about being dominant and stuff. Okay, that's good. Yeah, it was. he was good and then he were like fucking on his bed and then he goes he goes lay flat on your stomach

and I was like okay and then I hear him get up and he was like he was like don't look up and I was like okay and so he goes put your arms and legs on all four corners of the bed so like I'm like starfish mode and then I hear him hooking my ankles up to like straps like strapping me down like my ankles spread and were you totally into that were you like oh my god this is going to be great it was another one of those things where it was shocking and so i started laughing um that's an issue that i have is i just laugh and everything and so i need to shut the fuck up and like let the scenario happen um right you might get that's your way of Maybe that takes you out of the moment, you know what I mean?

But you're obviously uncomfortable, right? Or something's going on that you're laughing. It's not because it's funny, right? Like, what is really, what are you really feeling? Because I don't really feel uncomfortable. I just, I don't know. What about nervous? Is it nervous?

Are you, like, nervously laugh? Are you nervous? Like, here you are with a guy you don't know. And he's like, now he's like, you know, tying you to his bed. I mean, he could knife you and kill you. I do watch a lot of date life. I'm selling you. You know, do you get me,

maybe it's a little bit of fear? I don't know. I think that I get nervous. I think that's what it is. Because he actually, I started laughing and I tried to like hide my face. Yeah. Like in the bed and he sprained me.

He was like, stop laughing. Yeah. It made me just like, it was hilarious to me. so I like obviously stopped laughing. Yeah. And then so we fucked like that for a while. And I just remember his sweat dripping on my back, which was kind of hot to me.

Yeah. And then he unhooked one of my arms and he was like, reached down to the side of the bed and pull out the drawer. I pull open this guy's drawer under his bed and there's like a hundred sex toys in it. Uh-huh. And I'm not even kidding. And he goes and he was like, grab this butt plug one. And so I grabbed it. And I was like, do you?

Well, I didn't say this that loud, but I was like, are these washed? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, or do you just throw them back in the door? But I was like, fuck it. I don't even care. So that he was really fun. He is a firefighter. So that's why I had the, he keeps wanting to like fuck in his fire truck at some point.

So that's why I have that one. on the list. When did you see this guy last? Oh my gosh. It's been like three months. He's a good guy for you because I like that he tells you to shut the fuck up when you're laughing. He's very dominant.

He's got a freak flag because I mean, look at his drawer filled with all that stuff. He'd probably be totally down to help you fulfill some of those fantasies. Is he married or single? What's his deal? No, he's single. Yeah. He's hit me up.

like several times. I just, I don't know. I haven't met up with him again. Does it freak you out because he's like a veil? Like, do you worry maybe with the single ones that they would get interested in dating you and you're really not into that? Or why haven't you met up with him again? Yeah, that's a good question. I don't, I don't know because he doesn't strike me as someone who like would like want to date. Yeah, I haven't really thought about that. Maybe you're afraid of copping feelings for somebody. I mean, could it be like, you know, you don't want a relationship so much that maybe if somebody like has even the tiniest bit of potential for some reason or seems like tiny bit available for you to cop feelings that you back off even subconsciously, maybe I don't know. I don't know.

That's a reach, right? You could say no fucking way, Kathy. Well, I will say I've always been very, like, emotionally guarded and I don't like to go there with people. Like, friends, I'm totally there with. But it's, it's something about men being, like, very close emotionally that I'm kind of like, no, thank you. Yeah, that's a, that's an issue. Yeah. And honestly, I think I'm kind of, it's worse right now because I'm still on kind of.

of a rebound from being married and being. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That way that I'm kind of like, nope, never. Yeah, you're really like. Yeah, you've really fully come into. Yeah, it seems like probably like your marriage was all about trying to change that part of yourself and not be that way and be quote unquote normal, right? Like, you know, you read that chapter in the book of like, this is what people are

supposed to do, right? So you're like, okay, I'll try that. And, you know, it didn't work. So now you're totally into being. who you are, what you're about, which I think is a great start, right? Like, it was all like bullshit what you were doing before, right? This is, but this is why this is good for you right now, because it is bringing up issues that you have that, you know,

you want to deal with. Forget about just even having the orgasm, like the more I talk to you, like you have other things that you should be working on too. And you should really try and figure out why you're so petrified. Maybe you're gay. I mean, there could be a lot of reasons. No, I'm just saying there could be a lot of. reasons why that kind of thing is happening but it's definitely a block i think that probably blocks you

from the sex thing too right but i think that you know really being on guard emotionally like you said it could be just a rebound but i feel like you you know the fact that when you got closer with your boyfriend who became your husband and the more close you guys got the more turned off you got like maybe that wasn't a coincidence. Like, you know, maybe it was because like, oh, now you're married. That's as close as you could get emotionally. And for the girl, that doesn't even like a guy to be giving her googly eyes. I mean, that would be too much.

Yeah, I definitely like to keep some distance for sure. Yeah, now that works for you now, right? And that's fine. And you could go live out all your sexual fantasies. And so many guys will be happy that you have these issues because it'll work in their favor. And it will work in your favor because you'll have fun. and you'll live out a lot of these fantasies. But, you know, eventually, you know, maybe it'll get old.

And not to say that you won't be able to do all these things with a boyfriend, because you would be able to, right? You could live out all these fantasies and be as, you know, sexually promiscuous as you want if you had a partner, right, that was open to it. And you could, I think guys are pretty freaky. You know, if you told most guys this scenario, you don't want to tell them on a first date, but, you know, you're into it. If you're like, let's do this and that, a lot of guys would be into it, right?

You could find that. But I think that right now you don't want that, but you should work towards maybe figuring out why you have that block and why it's there and maybe removing it. Because maybe that'll help you with your orgasms too. I think there's a lot of stuff going on. Yeah, no, that's a good idea.

You know? Yeah, so why don't you get into some therapy? I don't know. I know I always throw that card out there, but therapy is really great. as long as you have the right therapist, right? Because you're young, you're so young. And therapy isn't something that you have to do for the rest of your life every single day, right?

You could do it for a year or two or whatever. But I think it could only help you figure out some of these things. I don't think you're totally messed up or anything, but you have these little blocks that are going on. And I think you'd want to tend to them sooner than later. Yeah, yeah. And like you said, like it's working for me right now. Like, I don't think I'll always be have that attitude at all, like this attitude towards men. But yeah, I think it's still rebound.

Right. So you're, it could be just like, so you think it's just because you just got out of this relationship where you like that before you got into the marriage with your, your guy? Yes. Like it takes me a long time. Yeah, I don't think it's just because you're in a rebound. I think the rebound thing is really, and I think if, I don't know that you're on a rebound. I think you're just totally yourself now. So I think that's what's going on.

Yeah. I think you've just totally owned who you are. I think it takes a lot of balls because I've seen, I'm way older than you. And people in my generation didn't tend to get divorced and figure themselves out at such a young age. They stayed married to the same person and lived that life that you were living forever, you know. And maybe when they were 50, they got divorced. You know, I give you credit for realizing who you are, what you were about, and getting the fuck out before you had a whole lifetime of that, right? And you really stayed true

to yourself. And I think when you got out, it's like a matter of you just, like I said, coming really into your own. But this is who you are. You were always a girl that had, you know, issues being close with guys, right? You were always a girl that couldn't fully have an orgasm with somebody. Like, that closeness wasn't comfortable for you. So of course, that girl didn't wind up having a successful marriage yet, right, or at that time. But I don't think, I mean, it's not like your husband cheated on you and he dumped you. And then, you know, I think that would be more like you're on the rebound. It's more like you were just doing, it's more like I, like I said, I just think you're being who you are and who you've always been.

But will that work for you when you're 40 after being single for so long and not with anybody and never having any kind of intimacy or anything? Like maybe not, you know, so I think you would want to work on that because it is a block. I don't think it's just something that's totally natural, right? I think it's like something going on there that maybe you'd want to figure out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

That makes sense. Yeah, it's not terrible, and it doesn't mean that, you know, all these things. Like I said, I think, you know, you're like, everyone's like a concoction of things, right? It's not like one thing is everything in a person. Like, just because you have this slight issue or like maybe a block doesn't mean that you're not super open-minded and horny and want to do all those things. Like, you know, even if you remove that block, I think those things would still exist and what you want to do, you know, but I think maybe you'd have better orgasms.

And then maybe you'd be more open to, you know, being more comfortable with someone because you can stay with the same person and they could look at you when they're going down on you and you won't get totally turned off, you know. It'll help it a little bit. That's the goal. Yeah. And, you know, so you have like a little stuff you should be doing while you're working down that bucket list, I think, you know, because you are every guy's dream girl, right?

You have that going on. I just wish you'd be having more orgasms and maybe you could find one guy and I think you can that you could start to become. really comfortable start to really live out these scenarios with and somebody that you're not so grossed out by, right, like these other guys. And you could have some fun while you're, you know, trying to figure out, you know, if you have a block, what you, is there anything? Before we go, I just want to ask you a quick question.

Like, is there anything that you could think of in your history that would be the reason for that? Honestly, no. I don't I can't think of anything like I I had like a wonderful childhood I have like the best parents ever and yeah I'm not sure honestly it could just be maybe you're wired a little bit like when it comes like emotionally like a little bit uptight or uncomfortable you know I I don't know you'd have to talk to somebody but it it could be just a part of who you are and maybe you'll be you know maybe that'll change over time. I'm not, like I said, I always say I give unprofessional advice,

and I'm only talking to you for like an hour, right? Probably three more hours or three more calls I could get to more of the bottom of things, right? Because, you know, maybe it's not like an issue, okay? Maybe it's just who you are and you're not meant to be in a relationship. I don't know. I'm sure there's people like that. I never liked relationships that much. I love being alone, you know, like honestly. Yeah, yeah, I do too. Yeah, it's actually hard. for me to be in one. I don't understand like romance really. Like I don't know. You ever see those things on TV where like they put flowers all the way on the floor and then to a yeah I would be so turned off like I say that all the time. So it's just like you know I'm just not girling that way.

Yet you know I do prefer it if I feel comfortable with somebody and there have definitely been times in my life where I'm like oh I really want companionship and this is what I really you know and then I have somebody for a couple of years, whatever that is. You know, so, you know, that could be you too. But I definitely have issues why that. It's like always complicated. People are like more complicated than just like I said, an hour conversation. But I think you should talk to somebody just because I do think you have a couple little blocks that you could work towards, even if it just helps your orgasms.

I don't know. Or just start with the not, start with the vibration. stop with that. Try that. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And then come back on because people like you, like women when I have them,

like I'll always have them back on because I feel like you probably have like 10 more great stories. You're going to, you know, you'll have more experiences. And so I'll have a part two with you. Yeah. Yeah, I'll update you on what I've done. Yeah. Yeah. Go get some stories.

Go get some good new stories. Stop using your vibrator for one month. And then come on and tell them. me about it. We could do that. You want some homework? Yeah, I'll do that. I will take recommendations for any any sex toys that get the G-spot. That's something I could work on for sure. Okay, I'm going to, so listen, people that are listening, whether it's males or females, because if you're a guy and you use something on a girl and you found her G-spot, let me know.

But the sex toys that you use to find a G-spot, that would be good for her, you get one. you get one of those. Somebody that was on my show, Linda Gale, she sent me something called the crystal wand. It's like this thin thing that you put up and you look around. You know, try that. Oh, crystal wand, like the wand thing that they have out there. There's other things as well.

If anyone wants to recommend to you, send me an email or post it on YouTube so she could see that. And then don't do it for one month. And then even if it's a quick call where you tell me what happens or not, can you follow rules? Like if I tell you to really do that, don't use your. your vibrator for one month. Can you do that? Yeah, I can do that.

All right, let's do it. It'll be interesting experiment. So no more, Jennifer's going to have no more vibrators. Okay, you're going to continue to have sex with guys because we got to see if it gets better, right? Or if you can have an orgasm without, you know, if something changes or whatever. No more of that. Get something inside.

Play with your clit if you want, right? To have like, you know, to get off that way. And then let's talk in a month for sure. Even if you don't have other experiences to talk about, let's just check in and see if if it has changed. Yeah, absolutely. All right. Thanks, Jennifer. Don't forget to send me a picture of that bucket list.

And I'll probably be, I already, I already edited the one for this week because I posted to my Patreon earlier. So you're definitely on next week, okay? So look out for it. All right. Thanks so much for calling in. Bye. Yeah.

Bye. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available, not only in paperback and e-book, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like, there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gangbbing girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person.

and they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person and I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. 17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format. paperback format. And finally, the audio book is available coming out August 25th, but you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint. Okay. There's no way you get into my

Discord any other way than getting the link from me. Okay. I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other. And that's what you get to do there. You could post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total strictly anonymous community and you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord. It's private, like I said. All you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook or the paperback. Send it to me at strictly anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. That's Strictly Anonymous Podcasts at Gmail.com. And I will send you the link to

Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in. This is the Strictly Anonymous podcast.