Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 367 - Jamie Cheats on his Wife with Both Men and Women

Episode Date: December 21, 2020

Jamies cheats on his wife with both men and women and he calls in to discuss where it all started. When did he start hooking up with guys? How did his first experiences shape what he's into now? What exactly is he into now? When did he start cheating on his wife? Tune in for all the details which include his first, forced, guy on guy experience in the army, whether he considered it rape, what the guy made him do, his current interest in cum play and racial play, how him and his wife went to swingers clubs and orgies, why she's no longer into them, how she caught him cheating and how she reacted and a whole lot more. **To see anonymous pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. The Craigslist is definitely like the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Singapore or Thailand. You can't not do it.

The temptation is just too much. Your friend know that you're banging her or no? No, he has no idea. And anything goes. The motto of the show, let your freak flag fly. Probably the only good advice I'll ever give you is to rehire. your wits and chain. Here is your host, Kathy.

Hey, welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast with Kathy. If you want to follow the Strictly Anonymous podcast on Instagram or Twitter, follow the show at Strict Anonymous. Today I'm on a guy named Jamie. Now, Jamie wrote in and he had a lot of interesting points to talk about. A, he's in a gang. B, he was raped by a guy in the Army. C, he's bisexual.

D, he's living a double life. F, what letter am I fucking on, whatever, but he's also into cross-dressing and orgies and come play and race play and oh my God, you won't even believe. We were like a little all over the place. I didn't know it was hard to keep the story totally on the straight and hour and I hope it sounds okay when you listen to it. But because there were so many stuff that I wanted him to cover that I knew about and then we had to go over. And it's a lot of interesting stuff. I forgot about the fact that he's like married to two women. He's been married to two women. He's a young guy. He's not even in his. 30s yet. He's been married twice and had open relationships. He's also a cheater. We talk about all of it. You're going to get the full story about Jamie, who's led a very interesting life up until now. I mean, like I said, he's not even 30, and he's been through a lot, been there, done that. He's into a lot of things. We get very specific about that. But we start off with that hardifying rape scenario that happened to him, that happened to him when he was in the army with another guy. So we start from there because he believes that a lot of the stuff that he's into now

stems from those incidents. It wasn't just a one-time thing. So we start with that and then we talk about all the things that he's into now and his cheating and his marriages and his open relationships and his orgies and his swingers' gloves and his race play and his come play. That all happens at the end. So you got to listen from all through all of it. Super fascinating episode.

I'll be right back on with Jamie. Hey, Jamie. Welcome to the Strictly Non-Hus podcast. How are you today? I'm good. How about yourself? I'm good. So, Jamie, the short story, and you're going to get into more of the specifics, because there's a lot of specifics, I'm assuming, is that you're, there's a lot of kind of specifics of the story. You're bisexual. You have a secret life, a very secret life. You also cross-dress. You do orgies. You go to swingers clubs. You had your first experience with a guy was pretty hardcore, and that's probably where we're going to start off. It happened in the army, right?

Yeah, it happened in the military. Let's start there. And, you know, because were you always, did you always know that you were interested in guys before that had you had, well, because you said that's your first sexual experience, but had you been with women before? Yes, I've been with women since the age of 13. Oh, the thing I forgot too is, I think, is that you were in a gang, right? And that played into the whole reason why you had to really keep being bisexual.

besides the fact you came from like a very conservative family you were also in a gang did that gang thing start in high school uh yeah yeah it definitely started in high school my dad was kind of in it um yeah and it just it started in high school right and so that of course they were very anti anything other than being super duper masculine right because there you were like beating the shit out of people i mean what is your what is being in a gang entail i don't know i was just kind of curious about it because i never had someone i mean some of that. Some of that is true, but some of that's not. Some of that's kind of, how do they say, magnified? Yeah. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Some of it's true, but I mean, more so, they more so want you to be, um, I would say like just straightforward, um, very manly of the men, if that makes sense. Very alpha

male. Yeah, for sure. Is what they expect of you. Mm-hmm. And so, and so no one in your gang, you know, you couldn't really talk about. How old are you now, by the way? 29. Oh, okay, 29. So you never told anybody. Nobody knows that you're by. But when you were in the gang, you, you, I'm assuming you knew that you were into guys,

but you had no experience yet, right? No, not at all. And I kind of went into the military early, like really early on to kind of leave some of that gang stuff behind. I mean, it ended up following me. Oh, really? Yeah, a little bit. But, yeah, you know, because I had tattoos and stuff. Right.

Did you do, like, illegal things? Like, I mean, you know, my idea of like... Well, yeah, sometimes, you know, sold drugs. Yeah, uh-huh. I sold drugs. I used to pimp for a little while. What do you mean, pimp? Like women?

More so, yeah. I wouldn't say, like, really pimping them. More so, like, just being the guy that was there to help them out. help them meet other guys? Well, like more so helped them to make sure people didn't rob them or make sure that, you know, they got paid. They would hire you? I had an empty apartment. And so, you know, I stayed in my room and they would rent out the room for me and use it.

And if they needed, you know, for me to kick a guy out or anything, they would just come knocking my door. Oh, wow. And did you have to kick a lot of guys out? Not really. I mean, most of the time when they're paying for it, they're really cordial. You're right. They're there to do it. It's a transactional. Everyone's happy, right? Yeah. And it's not like, you know, where I was pimping, taking all of their money. Like, that's not the... Right, that's not what I was. Yeah, so I guess you wouldn't even call it pimping. No, totally wrong word.

Yeah, you were like security. You were like hooker security. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. That's interesting. I could get into the whole gang thing for like 20 minutes, but I don't want to waste our time because I feel like you probably have a thousand more interesting

stories that have to do with, you know, what you're calling in for. So you... Yeah, I got a lot of stories. Yeah, yes. Let's get to it. So let's start off with that first experience that happened to you when you were in the Army, right? You know that you're into guys.

You've never been with anyone, right? Now you're in the Army. And what goes down? well okay so i get there and uh they put me with you know in the military we call it like the fuck up people um and they put me with one of the fucked up guys that was kind of getting kicked out because he was you know doing drugs and stuff like that and getting caught so they roomed me with this guy and uh for like the first week or whatever you know my sergeants like coming in our room telling me that it's dirty it's junkie and

And I'm, like, cleaning up my side, and this guy's, like, not cleaning up his side at all. Right. Like, he doesn't want to do anything because he's like, I'm getting out. Like, I don't care. Yeah. And so, come, like, that Sunday, Sunday night, we would always clean or whatever for Monday morning. And come, like, the second week I'm there, I kind of get tired of it because, you know, the sergeant's on my ass. So I kind of get tired of it.

And, you know, we have a heated exchange. and we kind of getting into like a pushing match or wrestling match, I guess you can call it. Uh-huh. And he kind of like holds me down because he's an older guy.

I mean, I'm just coming out of high school, maybe 18. Yeah, and how old is he? He's like 25, 26. Okay. He's an older Mexican guy. Uh-huh. And so, you know, he kind of,

holds me puts me in like this hold where you know they got your arms kind of locked behind your back and uh just bends me over the table and just starts going at it um and that was like my first sexual experience wait a second he like as he he's like ripping your clothes off are you like what the fuck is going on like are you fighting him back or well yeah i mean so it started it like with us like kind of fighting and wrestling about like hey man you need to do your shit and like we really got into it and like we're all on the ground and wrestling and stuff and we both kind of get up and you know we're going back at it and then you know just kind of one of those things where you know he just puts me because we had a table in our little dinette area and he just kind of

pushed me over the table and at that point I could kind of feel that he's hard Yeah. So this is why I kind of feel like it wasn't, I don't know, I guess at first I didn't want it. But like after maybe five minutes into it, I wanted it probably more than he did. Because you felt him hard and then you were getting turned on by that? Yeah, kind of. Yeah. I don't know.

I'd never had that feeling before, if that makes sense. Right. And so, I mean, I felt him getting hard. And I guess I kind of, at that point, like, you know, just stopped fighting. Yeah. And, you know, he just kind of pulled my pants down. I mean, I had on shorts at the time. And it definitely, like, now talking to, I mean, I've only talked to, like, maybe two people about it.

And, I mean, they're like, yeah, that's what it is. Rape. I'm saying I'm just letting it unless people In case people don't know what I mean by the R word Right? Because I mean that's a very powerful word And that's why I say that I mean you say you use that word So I feel like oh let's get to the bottom of that

Definitely I think it definitely was that But I think it turned into way more than that If that makes sense No uh uh so because this is what I want to know Like do you before you felt him hard And you were into it right And decided like oh this is kind of good Did you feel like he was trying to, like, rape you before that?

Or were you just having, like, a guy fight before that? I thought it was just mainly, like, I don't know, like, just tussling, just a fight, like, just trying to, like, dude, I fucking hate you. Yeah. Because I kind of initiated the fight, if that makes sense. Like, I, you know, started pushing him first. Yeah, you're the fucking gang member now. You were used to it, right? You could kick this guy's ass.

Yeah, I thought I could. Yeah, but he was like fighting and then all of a sudden you feel him hard, right? Yeah. And then you get hard. Well, yeah, I definitely get hard and I kind of relax. Like, so at that point, like, I'm bent over the table. Yeah. And so more so I just kind of relax.

And before then I was like fighting and like, you know, saying, like, you know, cussing at them and stuff. and then more so like once I felt him hard I kind of relaxed and then I guess like I don't know maybe a couple seconds after I relax I could feel Kim taking my shorts down

oh my God so it's kind of like I mean listen I know it's hard to really like it's hard to think properly in times like that right I'm asking you like what you're thinking and it's all this is all happening in a second you know so I think it's hard to understand I always

I think maybe it's probably you know you get like whatever your sort of thoughts on it was looking back is what happened you know it doesn't matter what you were thinking of that exact moment right I was just trying to see if it was rape because you're like I was raped but I don't

know if it was raped because I was into guys you know there sounds like there's confusion and I think that if it was that's like horror like horrifying yeah I mean it was kind of horrifying I guess like when it happened because it's like one of those things like for like the next day or so afterwards I was like you know kind of like in a days because you know you don't know what really happened if that makes sense yeah for sure like I know I was I'm sitting here asking these questions right but I knew it felt great right but you said because this is what I want to know like you said like you said you said said, though, that you, like, relax and let him take off, or were you still not allowing him? Because, like, I wonder in that situation. Well, I relaxed at that point. I relaxed, and, like, I could feel him taking, like, just undoing,

like, from the back, I guess. And I didn't really have, uh, I mean, I guess I wasn't kicking or anything or even saying anything at that point because it's just kind of like, I don't know, it just took me by shock. Yeah. Uh-huh. Almost. Yeah. Where it was kind of like, well, Because at first it's kind of like, you know, I hate this guy. And then it's like, oh, wow, he's really hard. Uh-huh. Then after the, like, it's really hard. Like, he's really hard.

Like, what's going on? Then it's like, oh, my God, he's taking off my pants. Right. And I mean, I'm a 17, 18-year-old kid. And I don't really, like, I don't know if I quite understood what was going on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've never been in a situation like that. Yeah.

Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah, and yeah, he starts doing that. And I don't know, I guess it kind of led me on my life now, if that makes sense. Yeah, no, that's why we have to start there because I know that, you know, you put those things together, right, right? Like you believe that that has led you to all this other stuff. Yeah, I do. Yeah. It wasn't, like, I guess it just didn't stop there, if that makes sense.

Like that wasn't the last time. Yeah. But it was the first time. Yeah, it was the first time. So. And I think that the first times of anything could really, you know, set the course for where you go in your future, right? And for a lot of different things, you know, especially with sex.

I've had people on my show that could only get off in this way. And it turns out because, like, when they. started jerking off in the beginning like that was the only way you know so a lot and something like that especially because it it happened so fast and you were super confused but you were aroused which happens a lot to victims i mean just because you aroused doesn't mean you weren't a victim in the scenario right like that's a common thing for victims to go through and it it does and it it only adds to the confusion for the poor victim right it's only makes you even more of a victim right because like that's fucking confusing right like here you were raped but you were turned on and so

then you feel like maybe it's your fault but it wasn't your fall right so that a lot of times is a sense of shame that a victim carries right but that is a common thing you can't help that right it's like it was a physical experience so but it doesn't mean that it was okay right yeah definitely not i definitely wouldn't say that that was an okay thing not you know looking back on it and everything, I definitely wouldn't say that that was an okay thing, if that makes sense. Right. Of course. No, I think a lot of people who have been in that position or, and if I had like a real psychologist on or like a forensic scientist or somebody that, I don't know if forensic science, but like, you know, a detective on, like they would know the proper reasons for that,

but I've heard it before and I think that that's really normal. And it makes sense. Like, listen, I have a five-year-old boy and like he could be touching his penis like, you know, and it just gets harder. And he doesn't know what for, but it just does. Because like, you You know, your penis has a mind of its own, right? But it doesn't mean that because you get hard that your mind and every other part of you is on board, right? So. Yeah, definitely. Right.

So I think that, you know, the fact that that was your first, like, and just because you were into guys before and you knew that about yourself, still also doesn't mean that you are okay with that. I mean, I don't know if I quite knew it because like, I mean, it's just one of those things. things that I always kind of knew that if a guy looks good or if he doesn't look good. And I always thought that more feminine guys looked really good. Like I just thought that they're really good looking men. Like I thought, I don't know, I thought that maybe, I don't know, androgynous people, I just thought they looked fucking awesome.

Right. You like that vibe. Yeah. I just like the way they look. So. But now when you look back to how like all your experiences with men happened following that experience, like I'm assuming you could see how it ties back to it, right? I mean, you got into all kinds of crazy things.

Oh, yeah, definitely. So let's go there. Like how do you tie it into the things that you're doing now? And what are the things that you're doing now? Well, I guess it's more so tied to him because after that incident, it's, became, how do I say? Like, I became more so his in-house. I'm just saying, as he used to say it, his in-house bitch. No way. I was, are you kidding me? I was going to say, well, I thought you were just like going to fast forward to other things. And I was going to say, wait a second. I just want to know, like,

how did, what happened afterwards with this guy, you know, because I thought he was leaving and you called it a day. And I don't know, but wait, so it happened more. Yeah. I mean, During the processing time in the military, like it could take from, I don't know, two months to a year depending. Yeah. How long somebody's getting out. Oh, okay. And so he ended up staying maybe two to three months more after that. Okay, so wait, so let's slow it down.

So you have this experience with him. He fucks you in the ass. Yeah. Did he use a condom? No. Okay. So you're done with that. You're horrified, right?

Yeah, a little bit, yeah. You're a little freaked out for two days. Is that a better term? Yeah, like I would say like more so like just a walking zombie. Like in shock. That's shock. Yeah. You're in shock.

Do you guys talk afterwards? I mean, here you are. You're kind of living in the same room with him, right? Well, we both had our own rooms. But yeah, it's like the same. It's like almost like a college. college set up, but there's no living room or anything, just the kitchen that we share. Right.

And then we each get our own room. Okay. So now do you say anything about it? Does he say anything or you guys just call with each other? For the next two days, just like in a days. Yeah. We don't really even talk to each other. Yeah.

Then maybe like maybe a week later, you know, we're just like, You know, he's just like, hey, what's up, this and that? And we kind of talk or whatever, but it's not, we don't talk about it or we don't even, it's more so like, hey, you know, are you going to go get this today? Yeah, just everyday stuff. But you guys are being cool with each other. You're talking, right? Yeah.

Mm-hmm. And then he goes out and he gets drunk and comes back to the dorm room and then it happened again. Well, how did it happen that time? Because, like, did you get in a fight? Or did he come in your room? No, he just came into my room. You were sleeping or you're hanging out? No, no.

I was just kind of hanging out, watching a movie in the bed or whatever. And, you know, he just comes up and, like, opens the door. And I'm like, you know, I'm kind of like, what's up? And, you know, he just comes and pulls his dick out. Yeah. And undresses you and all that kind of stuff. Well, I mean, more so just like directs me in what he wants done. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I get it. And you just go. Like, you're again back into like shock mode. Don't know what's going. Like it just lets it happen. Like you, it just happens to you. Well, I don't know if I'm more into shock mode at that point. I'm more so like at that point I'm like, well, I like it.

Uh-huh. So I'm just like, why not? Okay. And that's like maybe a week later. Right. And then how? So then does, so then does that become like a regular thing considering he calls you his bitch? Like how many.

Yeah. Like, yeah, it becomes like a probably two time a week thing. Mm-hmm. And, you know, he kind of starts me on like the cross-dressing thing. How? Um, just because like, well, I'd probably say like a month into it. Yeah. Um, he, you know, comes back to the dorm or whatever with like, you know, just costumes for me to wear for him.

Uh-huh. And just basically has me dress up in these costumes. And they're girly costumes. Yeah. Mm-hmm. And that's kind of what I guess, start. me on kind of everything that I'm into now. For sure.

I mean, well, that, I mean, like, you know, listen, if you're having, you know, he throws you into this situation where you're dressed up and girly stuff and then he fucks you and you are hard by it, right? And he come and all that stuff. Then you're going to make that connection, right? That being dressed up like that is, is hot, you know? Yeah. And I mean, it's like, I don't know, almost in that situation, like, I would like to, I don't know, it was almost like I was the girl in the situation and he was the guy.

Yeah. That was just the way it was, like, even to the point to where, like, I would just clean up everything. What do you mean, clean up? What happened between the two of you? Like the room and everything. like his room. Oh, you started to do all the stuff that you were like aggravated by him not doing.

You became that person as well on top of like his sexual, you know, servant. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah, and I mean, I don't know. I mean, it's funny now talking about it. Like, I mean, I don't know. That was just kind of the, I don't know,

now that I look back on it, It was just a hot time. You, but I'm confused because there is a part of you. And I think that you must be confused, right? Because there's a part of you that's like, oh, it was hot, right? But then there's a part of you that knows that it didn't start out right at all, right? The first couple times, it wasn't like something that you were okay with, right? Yeah, definitely not.

Right. But then you could look back. And I understand that I have had some stuff that happened to me when I was younger that I could. And my friends would always be like, it's so fucked up. But I think if a psychologist is listening to us talk, they're like, they would have terminology for it. But like when something happened to me, like I could, in my mind, I knew that what happened wasn't right. But for some reason, like the rest of my body doesn't understand it. And it wasn't turned on by what happened or anything.

What happened to me, it made me angry. But there's a part of me that doesn't know whether it wasn't right or not. I can't explain it. Like, it's very weird. Yeah, I definitely understand what you mean. You know what I mean? Like a part of me. But everyone else that hears the story is like, oh my God, that was like completely

wrong. Like you were totally molested. I guess it's one of those things that, um, I kind of say like, I guess it's how you look at situations. Yeah. Um, you can either look at it like I'm going to sit and dwell on it and harp on it. Yeah. Or you can move on with the best of situations if that makes sense.

And I think I kind of just, that's just what type of person I am. I move on with the best of situations. Right. Mm-hmm. So, and that's what you did with him. First of all, you're stuck in this place with him. Probably at that point, you're too young. And I think a lot of, like, a lot of people might be listening and saying, like, why didn't

go tell somebody? You know what I mean? He could have left that fucking place. Like, he didn't have to stay with that guy. It's one of those things that as a guy, I guess, it's one of those things that you're not going to say like, oh, yeah, this guy fucked me. No, I know. There's so many reasons why I understand why you didn't go and say. I think that you're going to have some people that would say that. But if you really think about human being nature and you put yourself in that scenario with all the things in place, right? You're way younger than this guy. You're a guy. He's a guy. I mean, there's a lot of things that you were fighting against. Like, you know. And then it was a lot of like personally. Yeah. Like, you know, I'm, you know, I'm the hardcore gang member.

like nobody's ever going to do no shit like that to me. Right. And, you know, it happened. Yeah. And so it's kind of what am I supposed to do to tell my dad about it? Oh my God. Yeah, no. Right.

The guy who's in the gang too, right? I mean, you're got. Yeah. That's what you said, right? Right. Or go to the people in the army and tell them, you know, it just is there. It was very loaded for you to go and say something. I think that's, that's the reason why a lot of people don't cop to things like that.

You know, so like you said, you made the best of the situation. went with it. And what happens in that kind of scenario is that, you know, it happened, that happening once could wire you a certain way, but it happening for two months multiple times, you know, all you're doing is making all of that, you know, making that connection even more powerful. So that's, of course, why it all got set up for you and, you know, to be the path that you were going to take, right? And the stuff that you were into. I mean, the order. And the swingers clubs. Like how do they come into play with this?

Well, all that stuff. So after I got out of the military, I kind of, like, even while I was in the military, after he left. Yeah. That because, like, that was like the last time I had a situation with a man for years. Okay. After that. Like, I never did anything with a man or anything like that.

Uh-huh. And then I got with my wife, well, my ex-wife. Uh-huh. But you got married. Yeah, I got married and got my ex-wife. And she actually, her and one of her friends, which was our close friend, like close, I don't know, I would say like a couple's friend, you know. Uh-huh. her and her husband and her husband actually got deployed and I guess gave her the permission

to have a relationship outside of their marriage right because he wasn't going to be around okay and we just kind of all three of us started you know having sex and going to you know swinger clubs and stuff like that. And that's how I kind of got started with that stuff. But wait, let's get, let's start. Let's talk about this a little bit more details, right? So your, your wife at the time has a friend, right? Yeah.

And she, like, how does it come up that? Well, I'm not going to say it's her friend. It's more so I knew her first. Oh, okay. And, like, we were just all really friends. And then, you know, she met my wife. And then, you know, we all just kind of became super cool friends. And her husband.

Yeah. And then he gets deployed. Yeah. And then he gets deployed. And he's like, I guess maybe she asked him if she could sleep with us or something. I don't know how that worked out. But how do you find out that she's down for this scenario? Are you guys out drinking one night?

Or does she come over? Like, you know, how does that conversation happen? We're actually drinking at her place. Uh-huh. And we were actually, me and my wife were actually winning out of her. room from them. Uh-huh. And, uh, yeah, so we're just all drinking or whatever.

And, uh, you know, just kind of like as a joke, we were playing like, you know, truth or dare or something like that. And, uh, or it was a drinking game or something. And my wife goes, well, suck his dick then. And something like that. And she just starts. So that's how it starts. But wait, did you know that your girl was okay with that?

Had you guys done freaky things before? Or was this the first time you guys were opening up your relationship? Well, we hadn't done freaky things before. But, you know, my wife had told me that she had done stuff like that before. So it wasn't something that surprised me with her. Yeah, yeah. Because she was always, you know, more. And then she was older than me too, maybe 10, 12 years older than me at the time.

Oh, really? So how old were you? You were like in your early 20s? she was in her early 30s? Yeah. Okay, so she's like suck his dick and then she, so now that this mutual friend of yours is blowing you. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

And then what happens? Well, and then, you know, we start to, you know, have sex or whatever and, you know, my wife joins in and, you know, she's licking and stuff like that. And that's how it goes for a couple months. and then her husband, I guess, kind of started to feel, I don't know, left out or I don't know what it was. Yeah, wouldn't you?

Yeah, well, I guess so. And so, you know, she has to, like, stop with us or whatever. And that's fine with me. Yeah. But she has to, like, stop with us or whatever. And, yeah. So you guys, you and your wife are having sex with this girl, And then you're going out to swingers clubs, would you have sex with other people there or just do stuff in front of other people?

Like what would go down to the swingers club? I do stuff in front of other people mostly. But, you know, sometimes we may do fallacious, but that's about as far as we go with other people. Uh-huh. Are you? That we don't know, you know, besides the friend. Right, the girl. You would fuck her, right?

Would your girl fool around with her, too? Yeah, like, you know, she was in the front. I was in the back. Right. Mm-hmm. And so that ended because the guy wasn't into it anymore? Well, he was still deployed and I guess he felt like she was spending too much time with us or whatever. Yeah.

And so that's, you know, kind of how that ended. But did you guys continue, you and your wife, did you guys continue to go to the Swingers Clubs? Yeah, we did for maybe a couple months after that. But that marriage ended shortly after that. How come? I was cheating. You were? With who?

Yeah, I was. Multiple different people. I'm, I don't know. I guess now I would say like I'm a serial cheater. Like I just can't not cheat if that makes sense. Like it's really hard for me to not cheat. Let me ask you this. Why?

It's like, are you a serial cheater or are you a guy that maybe just shouldn't be in a relationship? Or are you one of the, because there's a lot of different kinds of people out there. Like I remember once having a guy friend who was like in a relationship, a long-term relationship, and he was like, oh, I just wish I could just like go out whatever I want and just like meet any girl and just like fuck whoever I want. I'm like, you can do that. Like it's called being single. Like it's not that difficult, right?

Yeah, I guess I understand on that part. But I don't know. Everything for me is like, I don't know, like the relationship part of it is great. it's just the sexual part of it. No, so that I was going to say, then there's this other type of guy, right, that exists, that always wants to be in a relationship, right? They have to be in a relationship

because they like that companionship and maybe need it, but they can't be monogamous, so they're still fucking other people. Are you one of those? Yeah, pretty much, yeah. Yeah, that's a little fucked up. And I can't be binogamous. And it is, it is definitely, but you can't be single either.

Yeah, and I mean, it's one of those things. It's one of those things that I don't know, I guess it sucks because you know, I always try to lead the relationship off of like let's have an open relationship. Yeah, especially with the one that you were with.

I mean, she was letting you fuck that girl. Yeah, I mean, and more so, that more so happened because I mean, it was a lot of different things. Yeah, of course. You know, it wasn't just me cheating, but I would say probably that's the main cause. But it was a lot of.

lot of different things that's factored into it, if that makes sense. Yeah, of course, of course. But, I mean, that girl was kind of open. I mean, you did have an open-minded girl there, right? It didn't work out. So all these other relationships that you have that you're cheating on the girls, do you tell them off the bat that you want an open relationship and they say no? Yeah, most of the time.

And, you know, maybe it might start off like that at the beginning. I don't know. I've been with the same girl now for maybe five years. Oh, okay, and? And, I mean, she's great. She's the love of my life. She's the, I guess, you know, the partner that I love. Yeah.

And I couldn't see myself without her. It's just sexually. You need variety. Yeah, we're not always compatible. Right, but does she know that? I mean, she's, I don't know how to explain. explain it. I guess I would say she does, but I mean, I don't know. We've had talks and different things, and we've had a lot of ups and downs in our relationship in this five years with her catching me

cheating to different things. So yeah. Well, does she, did you start out that relationship, I'm assuming you start out that relationship letting her know that you'd like an open relationship. Did she ever agree to it? Have you been her done any freaky things? She agreed. to it. Uh-huh. And we, she agreed to it and we were open and swingers at the beginning. Mm-hmm. And then she kind of felt like, I guess, like, you know, like we would do it all the time,

I guess, or that the only time we would have sex is when we would have sex with other people. Mm-hmm. And it's like, well, that's not true. and she was like, oh, you'll, you know, you'll fuck me the day before and then you'll ask me the day after. And it's like, I don't know, to me, it was like she, she wanted, I don't know, she wanted, I guess she thought that maybe, I don't know, I don't know exactly what she thought, but then that kind of ended it that because she didn't want to do it anymore. Why? She would be mad that you want, like, was it that she thought you wanted too much sex? She was kind of like, hey, listen, I just fuck these other people for you. Like, get off my job. Like, I don't want to fuck you again. What was the reason? So she thought that when we're not having sex with other people, which I'm, I don't know, maybe I, because I'm not like a fuck you three times a week type guy.

Yeah, what are you? Like, maybe a fuck you once a week type guy. Uh-huh. that like I guess when I did do it or whatever or whenever we'd fuck that once a week like the next day I'd be like oh let's go to a swinger's party or something like that and she's like oh we're only fucking me one time a week right so she would be like she was kind of like

she wanted private time with you too right and she wasn't getting both right is that what kind of yeah I mean I mean I would say she was getting both but in her term she said she was wasn't getting both but not enough for her right she wanted more intimacy which is you're alone yeah we weren't going like every week or whatever to go swing it was maybe like once a month so right and it was only that that time that you wouldn't do it more with her and that's but she would take notice of that

that and that would bother her yeah I guess so yeah and so then it stopped because it just became a hassle for you stopped more so because she didn't want to do it anymore it was um yes she didn't want to do it anymore because it created this tension between you guys and it's so interesting because you guys had a situation that was I mean she was kind of cool with it right you it was the best case scenario for you yet the minute it hit a little bit of a roadblock

you both kind of abandoned it which you should have worked through it well I didn't well I'm not going to say I abandoned she abandoned it and because I love her so much you know, it's kind of one of those. And also because you just know you'll just go and cheat on her. I mean, well, and I wasn't trying to do that. That's not, you know, that wasn't my intention.

And that's why I wanted it to be open. And that's why, you know, I'd tell her, like, you know, I mean, I've told her multiple times, but it's one of those things where she'll say, you know, she's not ready yet. Because after that happened, then I cheated. So it made it even worse. Yeah, of course.

It's confusing. I think, you know, listen, I think that you could probably work through all that kind of stuff. I think you guys hit a snag and you're keeping your relationship over. But it probably is something you guys could have worked through if you kept, you know, maybe talking about it and maybe, you know, compromising a little bit better. Maybe you could have, you know. Well, and that was the thing. Like, it was just. more so it wasn't uh i would say like i was more open to her being free than she was to see me being free

right so you were cool watching her with guys but it wasn't like she really wanted to watch you with another girl yeah like and then the girls that she liked you know for me i guess was like not my type at all and it's like why you know the girls don't even look like her and it's kind of like well I'm with you for a reason like I do have a type yeah yeah but that kind of stuff and that kind of

those kind of things that come up when situation like those are harder to get past I didn't know that there was all that included I felt like oh she's this girl that was like let it you know going to like you know having fun with you opening it up and and stuff and and I guess it might have started out as fun

but, you know, just the things that she would like, like even the girls or the couples or whatever, and it's kind of like, yeah, I'm cool with them, but I don't really, that's not really, you know, attractive to me. That's like, that's not even how you look. Right, right, right. But when you said, hey, like, did you ever say, hey, let's do it with these people or try to get her into other kinds of people that you were into? Yes, I did. I tried to do, I've tried to do everything. And she said, no.

Yeah, I mean, now she's just like, you know, and I talked to her about it, maybe a year ago. And she's like, I'm just not in the right space and this and that. And I mean, she's got a lot of mental issues that she's got to work out. Yeah. And so it's just like, she's like, I'm not in the right space to do that and this and that. But it's like one of those things that for five years, for me, it's just sexually. Like, it's just like she's the perfect mom. and, you know, I love her.

Yeah. But, and she's the perfect wife, but it's just those things that sexually I want to be free. I like to be with multiple people. I like to do different things. And so the time she's caught you, has she, now, does she know about the guy thing? I mean, because you said before. She's caught me, she's caught me, she's caught me, you know, text messaging guys and stuff like that. And what does she say?

It catch me one time. Um, and she, I mean, and this is kind of the reason why I keep everything secret is because she told me, um, that, you know, if I, you know, if she caught me again with a guy or, you know, or anything along those lines that, uh, she would take the kids from me. She would take her and the kids. Oh, shit. Yeah. Mm-hmm. So, and I mean, to her. Like, I've even suggested to her, like, to tag me and stuff like that. Yeah. But to her, I guess she feels like it makes me less of a man.

Uh-huh. So, yeah, that's kind of where we're at. Right. Now, when she found you texting that guy, was it, like, really explicit stuff? Yeah, it was, um, yeah, it was definitely explicit. It was, uh, you know, it was definitely explicit. She's seen naked pictures and stuff. Oh, my God.

Right, but you're still together with her. Things are okay. Right? You're fine. And now, do you cheat on her all the time with guys and women? No, I mean, I really, I try not to, but sometimes I have, I don't know, urges. Yeah. I guess.

And so, you know, sometimes I cheat. Yeah. Not all the time, but sometimes. Right. And the urges for guys has never gone away. I mean, you cheat on her with men, too, right? Yeah. It's kind of equal opportunity here. Right. And do you feel bad about it when you do it? Or just when you get caught?

Sometimes. Sometimes I definitely do. Yeah. I mean, it's one of those things, but it's also one of those things of like, you know, what else am I supposed to do besides telling us. which I mean she's already caught me I and then after that you know I told her that I was by oh you did yeah I told her that and she was kind of like I don't think you're by and this and that and so I just let it go and we just never really talk about it anymore so yeah she well listen you know she doesn't want to leave you she wants to be with you as much as probably you want to be with her, right? Everything's

status quo for you, right? Everything's status quo for her. And I think a lot of times people don't want to know the truth, right? Because they don't want the situation to change, right? And if she really maybe knew that you were really by

and she wouldn't want to be with you, right? But she doesn't, so she doesn't so for her, the only way to stay is she has to deny that that even exists, even though you told her. You know what I mean? Well, and I have to, you know, and for her, I have to stay away from it and stuff. She says that.

Yeah, like to not do anything or, I mean, because she's got me cheating, so it's like one of those things that she's like, you know, if I catch you again, you know, it's like one of those things. It'll really be over. Yeah, and I mean, I just don't want to lose my kids. Of course. Like I said, I've been through one marriage where, you know, I have kids. kids that don't live with me. Mm-hmm. And so, I mean, I want my kids to always be with me.

And I know that if we're not together, then, you know, it, I mean, it's almost dang near impossible unless I live next door, you know? Right. Mm-hmm. Yeah, no. Listen, anyone with kids understands why somebody, you know, wants to keep a family unit together for their kids, right? Now, I know you said that, like, you do crazy things like,

come play and race play like how do you have time for all this stuff like where's that race play thing that you're going in does she know about the cross-dressing stuff no she doesn't that's like uh stuff that i do every now and then that's not like a everyday thing uh-huh but um just because i just can't even cheating i can't like cheat every day no it's exhausting there's a lot that goes into it's very yeah it's very uh one of those things that It's very, when it does happen, it's like I said, it's when I have those urges. So it might happen maybe once a month or, you know, every other month or something like that. And what do you do when you have an urge with the cross dressing?

Like, do you dress up and go out somewhere? Do you dress up? Do you meet up with somebody? Well, I'll go to like maybe like a bath house or a hotel. And, you know, I'll dress up, you know, tell her I'm going out. with my friends and I'll dress up or, you know, I'll, I'll go to a bathhouse and, you know, maybe meet guys there. Mm-hmm.

Stuff like that. Do you use condoms when you're with all these other people, the women and the men? Yes. Mm-hmm. Yes, I'm very, and I'm also on HIV prevention medication and stuff like that. Right, right, right, just to make sure. Now, how do you hide that shit from her? She's never seen it.

Um, no, she's never seen it. Um, I have, uh, I have stuff that I have, you know, where I, I just do it at work mainly. I work a lot. So, right. So you keep all your paraphernalia there. Yeah. Yeah. And now where do you meet the other women and where do you meet them? Like, where do you meet them like, you know, the girls that you're going to fuck outside, you know, and then where do you actually physically meet them to have sex when you're cheating? Well, sometimes. Sometimes. you know, most of the time I go to their house if, you know, I do pick up a woman. You know, sometimes we'll go to Swinger Club, sometimes we'll go to hotels. Just all depends. Depends what schedules like. And I mean, I don't know.

I meet some people just passing by or, you know, work or online sometimes. So they know your deal, though. Like, are you honest with them? Yeah, I'm married. You know, I put it very honestly and bluntly that it's, you know, just a sex type thing. Yeah. Or, you know, at most of friends with benefits. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Do you have any girls that you see all the time? Like, do you have one or two friends with benefits? I have a couple girls that I see every now and then, but that's like, you know, rarely. but they're more so friends than anything. Right. So they know your wife, but once in a while they'll have sex with you. Yeah, like they know that I have a wife and they know that it's never going to be anything. But we're just friends.

We're really good friends. So it's like when they have an urge and not have an urge, you know, then we do it. Right. Which isn't often. Like, you know, I can't say it's often because I don't get to do a lot of things often. Right. Yeah, I mean, yeah, I don't do a lot of things often. Right.

Well, you said you work a lot. Plus, you have a wife and you have kids. Yeah. So it's not like you have all the time in the world to go do this. Now, what about guys? Or do you have, like, guys that you see multiple times? Or are they always, like, one-offs? Most of the time, they're one-offs.

I mean, it's kind of hard for me to find guys. Mm-hmm. Like, it's been kind of hard. So, I don't know, it's just one of those things that that's really hard, you know, finding guys. And then, you know, then I don't know, to be with a guy, it's kind of like the whole process, right? Where you got to go and, you know, you got to do shit and you got to do all this stuff. So it becomes more of a process that, you know, I got to hide from my wife. So usually if I do go with a guy, I have to go somewhere where there's a bad.

bathroom, like private bathroom or something like that, that I can do stuff like that. Right. Because I can. Yeah. You don't want her to find out. Now, she caught you, like, texting with a guy, but she's never, like she, and you told her you were by, but she's never caught you with a guy, like, cheating with the guy having sex. Like, right? No.

Does she know about what happened to you in the military? No, she doesn't. but she has caught me like when I said when she's seen the naked pictures yeah some of the naked pictures were from you know when you guys were together yeah years ago yeah years like I mean you know years before we were together and they were with me with another guy so it was one of those things where so she's kind of know that I have been with guys oh okay she knows for sure right because she saw the pictures yeah oh it wasn't like you guys exchanging dick pics it's like you guys were neat you guys were neat get together and those were the pictures. Like, so we were, like, with me and that guy, we were exchanging, but the pictures that I sent him were of me and another guy. Right. Mm-hmm. She doesn't know about what happened to you in the military, right?

You said you talked to, like, two or three other people. You said two or three other people know about it. Who does know about that? Just two friends that I went to high school with. Right. You know, that I kind of know my whole wife. Mm-hmm. and I mean

and they're both girls so right do any do any besides your wife now and maybe your ex wife does anyone else know about the fact that you're into guys um

maybe a couple people but not a lot it's definitely something that's very closed wrapped right I mean not a hundred percent because I mean you have it's like you're interesting and I think maybe

you know, 10 years from now, it'll be a different story. I mean, you are, you do try to be completely up front, right? I mean, you start off that way, like you said, right? Yeah, I mean, at least I try to be like that, and I try to be, you know, as open as possible. Because for me, I don't know, maybe it's just the way that I was bought up, but I always seen sex is just sex. Like, you can love a family and still have sex with other people. Right, uh-huh. There's a big difference.

You know that, right. Yeah, and so for me, that's just always how I felt about it. So, you know, maybe in my earlier years, I was more jealous of girls and stuff like that. You are jealous of them having friends or whatever, but now more so, I'm definitely not like that at all. Like, it takes me a lot to get jealous. You mean, so if your girl or your wife now had a guy friend or was talking to her ex-boyfriend, like you'd be okay with it. Yeah, I'd definitely be fine. I don't know, it might turn me on.

I mean, it might. Yeah, right. You got that thing. I mean, I mean, because I, you know, we did start off as swinger, so I have seen her be with other people. So it's not one of those things that doesn't turn me on if that makes sense. Yeah. And listen, maybe, you know, 10 years from now, she'll, or five years from now or two years from now, you know, she will get back into it.

I mean, I give her credit for, you know, being, she's also straight up too, right? I mean, she tells you what she doesn't like about it and she's really honoring herself and how she feels as well, right? It's not like. Well, yeah, definitely more so. It's definitely more so she's doing stuff to make herself better. And I get it. Like, she's got a lot of mental issues. Like when you said her head's not in it, right?

If her head's not in it, I mean, you have to feel for her, right? Like she knows that she just mentally can't handle that. She's also a mom and she has kids. So I give her credit for like, you know, my favorite saying is like, know thyself, right? She fucking knows herself. She's like, listen, I can't deal with this shit right now, you know? And I think that that's great because I think some people would maybe, you know, not, would just keep doing something, right, even though maybe they didn't know it was right.

Yeah. Yeah. And that sucks. And it sucks for me because, I mean, I do feel bad when, you know, I go out and do these things. But at the same time, it's like one of those things that if I don't, it's like, I don't know, it's almost like a drug addiction. To where it's like, you know, I'm constantly thinking about it. I constantly want it. I'm constantly just thinking about it. It's constantly on my brain. Like, I can't let it go if that makes sense. I can't. do anything else. Right. Until you get your fix. Yeah. And then you get your fix and maybe then you're relaxed for a little while until you need your

next. Yeah. I get my fix and it's almost like, you know, like literally, you know, after I, I would say literally after I have my nut and then I'm gone. Right. You're done. Yeah. You're all good.

Yeah. It's a hard. Listen, it's the age all problem. And I think that, you know, people are different. when I grew up, you know, whereas, you know, you're being more honest about the fact that straight up monogamy, like, oh, I'm going to be with this person for the rest of my life and nobody else ever, is a little unrealistic for a lot of people.

Not to say that some people can't do that, right? Absolutely. There are people that are wired that way, but a lot of people aren't. And I definitely, I definitely agree with that. And I definitely feel like more people are, they're more how do I put this they're more

dedicated to monogamy than they are their partner what do you mean so they're more dedicated to how it makes them look or how the perception outside that people are looking in at you right

they're more obsessed with oh monogamy it you know it's got religion involved with it and you're only supposed to be with one man and you're only supposed to be with one woman. Yeah. And it took me a while to get past that. But after, you know, researching and everything,

I think that people are more dedicated to the fact of monogamy than they are their partner. I mean, if you ask me, I don't know, my grandpa is in his 80s. And if you ask my grandpa and my grandma are, you know, people in that age bracket. They would say that, you know, they did have times where they cheated or they did have times where grandpa had a girlfriend for 30 years almost. Right.

Or, you know, or, you know, he would always go to the whorehouse or grandma had her boyfriend. And it's one of those things that we, you know, we say like, oh, we want those relationships, right? We want those, we want that type of relationship. but what we really don't know is, you know, how dedicated they were to their partner. Right. And not so much the fact of monogamy, if that makes sense. Kind of. It's hard for me to follow, but I'm sure you're saying what a lot of people think nowadays, which is, because where you lose me is where you say that they were more dedicated to their partner.

Some people would say that it's the opposite. If they're dedicated to their partner, they wouldn't be out cheating, right? You're more dedicated to the idea of making it look like they're monogamous, right? So I agree with that to a certain extent because, like, let's just put it like this. Like, you can be in a relationship with somebody and love that person but not be dedicated to that person. You can, and when I say dedicated to that person, I mean, like, through their, through thick or thin, right? Like when I say dedicated to a person, it's kind of like if that person was an addict, would you quit talking to them because they were an addict? Right.

Because I know a lot of people that say they love you, if you would turn an addict, they would not talk to you anymore. Uh-huh. So to me, that's not dedication to you as a person. Right. That's like, to me, dedication is like what a love a parent has for their kids, right? Yeah. We're like, yeah, we know that you messed up, but we know that you could be a better person too. Right.

To me, that's dedication, right? Or commitment or like, right. Okay, I got it. Yeah. And but when you say like soon as somebody messes up, like, oh, well, then, you know, that means you don't love me. I don't think that's fair. I don't think that's fair. And I don't think that's really saying that you're dedicated to your partner because you're dedicated to the thought that you're, you know, you were monogamous or whatever.

You're dedicated to that. Right. Or the idea of what you thought that partnership was. going to be but when it becomes what it is or like I'm fucking out of here well one thing is is your wife and you are pretty dedicated to each other don't you think you have that going oh yeah I'm definitely I definitely say I'm more so I'm definitely dedicated to her like I mean I definitely love her and I want to be with her forever but I don't know if that's going to happen because I don't know if we can ever if we can ever be sexually one again if if I can be open to you.

about all this stuff with her because it's like you know it's like one of those things that I mean I guess just even listening to your show it's one of those things that I know now it's not going away right you know I'm not gonna

do it less if that makes sense or I'm not going to quit doing it because it's been too long it's been years that I've been doing this and so I know that it's you know it's me it's a part of me and it's I mean I mean, it's took me a long time to kind of come to terms with that with myself, too.

Yeah, for sure. But, yeah, I mean, it's begin a long time to kind of, how do I say, kind of come to this point to where I'm like, you know, I know that I'm not going to change. But listen, what you need to remember, okay, that is obvious to everyone listening right now is that. you, you know, she allowed you, like she knows a lot about you. Like, I'm just saying you're better off than a lot of people, right? A lot of times I'm talking to somebody that, you know, is by or is a cross-dresser or wants to fuck other women and, you know, their wives have no idea of any of it. I mean, your wife, not only does she know that you're bisexual, right?

she also knows that you like variety and want variety and need variety in your life so much so that she actually gave it to you in the beginning I mean you guys did go swinging yeah it didn't last right but you had a little bumps in the road and you guys just both like you know checked out and whatever but I do think you know you could work through that and you could and maybe it's the way you communicate your the things that you like and it's also you know the damage that she's been that she hears it different, but I think with a little help and a little patience and a little bit maybe time because she's not, she's going through, she says, like a bad phase, you know, or maybe some work on both of you guys get into some therapy. You guys could eventually be more of who you are

with each other and be happier, like stay dedicated, but also stay true to who you are and she stays true to who she is. I mean, at some point when she was sleeping with those people and you were going to swingers clubs and stuff together. Was she into it? Yeah. I mean, at least I thought she was into it. Maybe, and that's the thing. Like, maybe she wasn't into it.

But maybe she was. That's my whole point is that like, that didn't, it didn't end horribly wrong, right? It just, you guys started to, it started, you would communicate about it. It wasn't right. She wanted different things. It became more so a problem for her.

So with me, you know, like I said, because I really love her with me saying, well, you know, well, I'll give it up then. Like, well, just stop doing it. Right. You did then, right? And that's what you did. But then she's caught you cheating. And I just think, like I said, my whole point is that there is a chance that, you know,

at some point down the line, if you start bringing things up about stuff that you're into and you show her that maybe you have more patience, you know, that you would wait around. Like, you know, instead of maybe going and. cheating on her you know you could try to get her into the stuff that you're into you know maybe that could that would happen a and be you know help you stay in the relationship with her because it's not like you're with some girl that's from a conservative background and she's super vanilla and you know for fact she'd never be into anything you know this girl did go to all those places with you she does know a lot about you you know yeah she does yeah getting her

her on board might be possible, but you might have to work at it, you know, more so than you guys did. Now, you're both young. You work a lot. She's got kids. You know, there's a lot going on. So I get why, you know, it would take a lot of energy to probably do all the communicating you need to do to make it happen right the right way now. But I do also think in the meantime, you guys could use some therapy. She, is she in therapy? Are you in therapy? Like, you still, I think she needs to talk out this shit. She is, that's good for her.

She's in therapy, and I'm seeing a therapist soon. Oh, that's good. So, yeah, we are getting in a therapy separately. Yeah, that's good. And, you know, hopefully that'll help me work out some issues that I, you know, I'm having. Yeah, for sure. What are the issues that you're having? I mean, your show helps a lot.

Good, I'm glad. I love that. That's why I do my show. I seriously, I started my show because I do like to help people and I would try to help my friends that were having a problem and they'd be like, fuck off. You know what I mean? Because sometimes people don't want to talk about it or hear a solution or like, you know, open themselves up. So I was like, oh, if I just do it for people that want it, right? They'll come to me. Then they want it. Then I'm not annoying, right? So I really, I love when I hear that. But I think that for both of you, it's very helpful for you guys to work out your stuff. I think you have a lot of stuff. to work out, right? And then, you know, what are you working out in therapy?

Is it, is a lot of it what happened to you? Is it even the game? Like, what is it? More so, like, more so everything. I mean, I haven't gone, seen them yet, but more so everything. That you're going to do right. Yeah, more so just like, you know, what I'm going through, what I'm going through nowadays.

Right, what you went through in the past. Yeah, what I went through in the past, what actually, you know, I mean, because for a long time, I treated my bisexuality or me liking guys, like it was the plague, so to say. So, you know, and I kept that part of my life kind of dormant, if that makes sense. Uh-huh. And so now, like, you know, I need to be, I guess, comfortable with that. I need to be okay with that. Yeah, you want to be. Yeah, no, that's good.

That's a great start. And so that's, I mean, I guess, and that's why I say now so much I don't know if she's going to see it the same way because I'm not the same guy that, how do I say, the relationship started with. And she's not the same woman that started in this relationship either. You know, we've kind of changed and we've grown over the years. So I don't know. I mean, I really hope that you're right and you're correct. But I hope that it does go that way. But I just don't know right now.

Yeah, of course. I mean, nobody ever knows, right? I mean, if we knew everything, life would be very easy, right? You just don't know. But I think what's really important a lot of times with couples, like the reason why they go off on separate ways is because one person's doing all this work, but the other person stays exactly the same, right? So the other person outgrows the other person, right? But I think what's really great is that, you know, not only is she in therapy that you're going to be getting

therapy, right? And then, you know, there could be the flip side where, yeah, you're both not the same people that you were, but maybe you realize that you're different people and those people get along even better, you know, and there's, so you don't, you don't know until you do that work. And I think it's great that you are, especially because you have kids. I think that, you know, getting into therapy and just talking about your shit is going to help you. And therapy is an ongoing thing, you know, you see someone, and it's not something you have to do for the rest of your life, but it definitely, if you get the right therapist and they work with you, it definitely changes things for you.

And, you know, you don't know where that's, what that's going to be for, you know, you and your wife, but it might change the way you feel about sex and certain things as well, because I think some of your issues have to do with what happened to you when you were in the army, right? Yeah, I mean, and I think that is a lot to do with it because, I mean, that's very much so, I guess, kind of led me on the path of, like, even what I like sexually. Like, you know, you were talking about the come play and the racist. play and stuff like that.

Yeah. Even that sort of stuff, I mean, for a lot of people, they don't even know what that, a lot of that stuff is. So, you know, and he kind of, I don't know, kind of turned me on to a lot of those things, I guess. It was all those experiences with that guy. He taught you about it and got you into it. And now that's the thing that is like the itch.

that you have to scratch every now and then? Yeah, and, you know, I like it. And, you know, now it's, you know, and I mean, some of it, it's crazy because, you know, a lot of that, some people think it's very crazy, you know. What the Complay and the race stop, like, what is it really quick? I mean, I was going to wrap it up, but I'm like, let's go there a little bit. Well, so Complay is just like, you know, basically just like a sperm. fetish, is that mean? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Where you like to put it on food and or, you know, walk around with it in your face or I don't know, some people do, like, cum walks, if you ever heard of that, like, they'll go

and get, like, a facial. Mm-hmm. And then they'll, like, walk around, like, I don't know, like a Walmart real late at night or something. Right, with it on their face, kind of like an exhibitionist but kind of not right oh yeah yeah so what are you into when like what's the kind of come play that you like um I'm more so I like it all like it's all I love it all I'm not

right right I'm very much so like that's probably my favorite part of sex is cum right but do you do that with your wife or do you play out those scenarios with men Do you play them out with, I would assume you do them with women, right? Because is it another guy's come that you, like, is it? So men and women. Uh-huh. Sometimes, you know, it's done to me. Uh-huh.

Where, you know, it's a guy telling me, you know, or putting it on my face or my food or something like that. Uh-huh. And then sometimes you're doing it to the girl. Yeah. And that's what that guy in that place used to do to you. Yeah. Sometimes. Well, listen, those were all your first times, right?

I mean... Well, yeah, more so. And then, you know, the, I don't know, the race play, which is kind of like just, I would say more so degrading. Uh-huh. Calling, like, you know, racial names and stuff like that. Right. And is that for you to do to someone else or for them to do to you?

for them to do to me. Right. Now, did that guy do that to you when you're with him? Sometimes it was more so, it wasn't racial play. It was just like degrading. But now it's kind of, you know, the racial play kind of gets me off too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because it is degrading. Yeah.

Right? I mean, they're not saying nice things about your race, right? Yeah, definitely. It's put downs. Yeah, definitely. Yeah, listen, I don't know. I think that's the kind of stuff that therapy's really going to help you with. Now, I don't know that much about, like, I used to, I just talked about this with somebody else.

I don't think I aired their episode yet, but I had a whole jizz quiz thing that I used to have early on when my podcast started because I once had this guy friend and we were talking and I was like kind of getting horny for him and I was like thinking, oh, I'll just like fuck him. Maybe, you know, he's a good friend of mine. And we just started talking out, talking about stuff that he liked and he's like, oh, yeah. And there was two things that he liked that I was like, oh, red flags. One was that he loved to like jizz in a girl's face. And another was that he loved to like fuck a girl in her ass and then make her blow him. So I'm like you're like basically like, you know, a girl to eat your shit, right? So I was like, oh, you know, he really hates women, you know?

Because like who would want to do it? You know, it is so degrading, right? And I remember having like this jizz quiz that I put out there like, do you like to come on someone's face? and like what is that all about, you know? And, you know, I always thought that if someone likes real degrading stuff like that, you know, it might be a little bit of an issue. Maybe I'm totally wrong, you know what I mean? I always say like I would say like it's, I would say like it's not for, how do I say,

it's definitely not for everyone. No, but the fact is, listen, you know where it, like you have a situation in your life that it definitely came from 100%, right? Like somebody else, they might not know why they like to do it or anything. With you, we know for a fact that it all came from this situation that happened to you when you were super young, not in control, right? Kind of in shock and not really in charge of what was going on. So I do think if you work through that more with a professional that could really help you,

you know, those kind of things might go away. not to say that, oh, you're not going to like to fuck a lot of people and you're not going to be into guys. Like all those things probably will still exist, right? That's who you are. But maybe these other little things might fall away, right? Because those might be a negative sort of twist on things because of what happened to. I don't know. That's what I think.

That would be my guess that. Maybe, maybe so. Yeah, like the real degrading stuff and all that might fall to the wayside. once you work through things, it might not be so much of a turn on, you know, I don't know. And is it bad that it is if you're doing it consensually, like, and you still like it? No, I don't know. But that was just always my thing when we would do the just quiz. Like, you know, so I think it's going to be really interesting to see where you're at and how you feel about everything like after a year of therapy or even six months, you know? Yeah, definitely. Really talking to somebody about this

stuff while you go about your business and you do your thing and like and maybe it will help you with that itch maybe things won't be as strong of a pull for you some things you know like I said it's not going to change you totally and it I don't think that that guy made you into guys or you know but he might have made you into being degraded you know and that might like I said go away I don't know but keep me posted I want to talk to you six months from now after after therapy to see where you're at or what's going on. And then try with your wife, you know, listen,

talk to your therapist about all these issues with your wife. I do think there's always will be that window of opportunity with your wife to have conversations and be better like at communication with her about what you want eventually in the future because she was open to it at one point. you know um so start you know maybe get some tips with him on how to communicate more properly when it comes to stuff like that because i think like you guys just hit a snag and then you know you have like but maybe you could have worked it out i get why you did it right but maybe in the future you can that's just what i think oh definitely i'm definitely like i said i'm definitely trying

and it's definitely you know i'm very dedicated to her so it's going to have to be you know something major for me to leave right but I'm saying maybe you guys could have at some point you know you could both be happy and get more of what you want from each other you know you included you know not just her it's like you would both figure out how to compromise more for each other so that uh the your sex life is more like it used to be but both of you are happy you know um but you what first things first you know just start talking about your your shit and you start talking about that douchebag in the army that made you as bitch and work through that a little bit you know i think that will be really beneficial and that you need that

and i think it's great that you're deciding to do it thank you you know and keep me posted because i want to know and i'm so glad that you found my show and i'm so glad that you called in and uh i'll let you know when i'm going to air it because i got to tell you what's going to happen is when you hear your story too outside of yourself, it'll be even more interesting and you'll get more out of it. Yeah, definitely. Yeah, I mean, people have said, like, I don't know why, like, my therapist doesn't tape our conversations because when you hear yourself talk about your situation from the third person, it's a very different experience and you'll see what I mean when I air this.

Okay. So I will keep you posted when it airs. Thank you so much for calling in and good luck with everything. We were kind of all over the place, but like, I think I got everything in. Thank you. All right. Thanks, Jamie. Thanks so much for calling in. Thank you. Bye-bye. Bye. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available not only in paperback and e-book, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17-d6. different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a

gang being girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person, and they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person. And I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not. So over the top, like erotica, I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. 17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format, and finally, the audiobook is available coming out August 25th. But you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary.

link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint, okay? There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me. Okay, I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other and that's what you get to do there. You can post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total, strictly anonymous community and you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my my book, access to my Discord. It's private, like I said. All you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook, or the paperback. Send it to me at

Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. That's strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. And I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in. Podcast.