Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 371 - Jordan Power F*cked his Boss

Episode Date: January 18, 2021

Jordan Power calls in to share all his crazy stories. Tune in to hear all about the time he fucked his male boss, the time his therapist sent him nude photos, how he found out his father was secretly gay and what happened to his family as a result, when he first realized he was gay and how he started hooking up with guys, how and why he once wound up in a mental hospital, the time he got chlamydia twice and how the doctor reacted, his most recent acid trip and how it changed him for the better, the Hollywood orgy he wound up at and what exactly went down there and a whole lot more. **To see anonymous pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. The Craigslist is definitely like the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Singapore or Thailand. You can't not do it.

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Here is your host, Kathy. Hey, welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast with Kathy. If you want to follow the Strictly Anonymous podcast on Instagram or Twitter, follow the show at Strict Anonymous. If you want to be on my show, this is a show. It's called Strictly Anonymous. I added the word confessions because most people come. I want to do a call-in-in-vice show, honestly,

because I love helping people with their problems and, like, analyzing things and picking things apart and telling people what to do. And you can't do that as a real therapist. As a real therapist, you're just going to listen to people. I'm like super opinionated. And I like to tell people what to do. So that's why I wanted a call on my show. But it turned into this, because I made people anonymous from day one. And what turns out people call in the most about is people are calling in to talk about their secret lives, their naughty lives, their private lives, while remaining anonymous. That's what we do here. I also help people with their problems. So if you have a problem, and your friends don't fucking want to hear it anymore, or you have no friends, or you have a secret life that you think would be interesting to my audience or a secret life that you want to talk about because you've never talked to anyone else about it. Come on my show.

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If you're a hoser, that's what I call my panty hose guys. If you're a hoser and you want additional panty hose content, you could sign up for that, $7 a month. So that's that, patreon.com slash strictly anonymous podcast. Today I have on a guy named Jordan Powers. He's not anonymous. I didn't change his voice. He's a guy that has an episode of a podcast.

He's doing what people do and what I should do, which is, you know, go on other people's podcast to get the word out on his podcast, right? I've had a bunch of people on as guests who are doing that. So he came on to advertise or talk about his new podcast called Unmentionedable. But it turns out that Jordan Powers has a very interesting, life and that's of course what we talked mostly about right in the beginning we talk about his podcast that he has now we had another podcast before this one that was super successful that's still

up that you could listen to as well uh we talk about the fact that he's also a comedian he's wrote a couple books uh he's super cool he's super interesting he's hot if you're a guy and you're into guys if you're into guy and guy action jrown power is very good looking so you check him out on Instagram. Jay Power Comedy, I think it is. I'll give all his links and everything in the description, but you could see what Jordan looks like on Instagram. Like I said, he's a, he's really good looking. So if you're gay or even secretly gay, check him out, follow him there, maybe buy his books, listen to his podcast. But first, listen to him here because on my show, I dig deep. I get into all the dirt. And he's had a super interesting life. He's young, right? He's not old. But

But he's done a lot and he's seen a lot and he's been through a lot. And we talk all about it. His dad was living a secret life. Like his dad was straight up somebody who would have called my show because he was living a secret life as a gay man. He was seeing guys behind his mother's back. And Jordan was the one who found out. We talk about that. We talk about what he did.

We talk about how it disrupted the whole family. We talk about all his, when he came out, when he realized he was gay, we talk about other salacious, salacious. I'm so fucking dumb. Salacious stories like I mean I don't know this guy listed it all out when he emailed me I mean he had chlamydia twice he's been to Hollywood orgies he his therapist sent him nudes he got he fucked his boss once this is like these are all the things he sort of touched upon in the email

and I was like I'm going to dig deep on all that stuff so I get all those stories and then some a lot of other things as well he's a great storyteller because he's a comedian he's funny And like I said, he's hot. If you want to see him, you can put a face to a story this time where normally you can't, right? Because everyone's anonymous, but he's not. It's Jordan Power. Check out his podcasts.

But before you do that, like I said, unmentionable. That's what it's called. Listen here. I'll be right back on with Jordan. Hey, Jordan, Power. Welcome to the strictly anonymous podcast. How are you today, Jordan? I'm good.

I'm confused. I'm not anonymous. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I know. You're not anonymous. I've had a couple non-anonymous people, right?

Like a couple friends that I have in the city who maybe are artists or they do something noteworthy, right? I've also had other people like you who have podcasts and are networking and, you know, like looking to, I don't know, what would you say up your audience? It's very smart to do, right? I still haven't done it and I should. Yeah, it's what you, it's great, right? So you have your own podcast.

So of course we're not going to make you anonymous. Anonymous. Shame on you, right? I like that title. So that one's done. That one's done. I have a podcast. Yeah, I have a podcast now called Unmentionable, which is every Friday on YouTube and all players.

Wait, so Unmentionedable. So you stopped shame on you. How come you stop that one? Can you tell me? Because I got tired of interviewing men I had sex with, frankly. Oh, is that what it was? Was that with the basis of it? Like, you would talk to guys you used to have sex with?

We would just interview. We started initially interviewing our friends. then coincidentally, we realized that we'd already had sex with them. And so it was kind of like a gay version of that podcast, Guys We Fuck. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so it took off. I mean, we were downloaded just in a year alone. We were downloaded over a million times.

We were selling out shows. Oh, right. Maybe that's why there was a big focus of that on the pitch to me because, you know, that was what you were known for at the time, right? Like, it was a big, it was a bigger show because it. Yeah, for sure. And, I mean, listen, it wasn't just a free-for-all. There was a whole premise behind it.

The premise was essentially to eliminate the residual shame we had left over from being gay for us. Yeah. That's great. Yeah. Your whole life you're sort of encouraged as a gay person to just stay reticent. And so our thought process was, why don't we just do the reverse of that and just put it all out there? And then it resonated with not just gay people. I mean, we had tons of straight listeners because it was just wild.

I mean, we would go out on dates. We would like, you know, we would literally recap every. carnal moment that we had. It was fun. I'm not going to lie. Yes, that you stopped it. But people could go listen to that, right? It's still out on, that's the great thing about podcasts, right?

They live forever. So those episodes are still there and they're probably not timely, right? Like they could, someone could listen to those if they wanted to. Yeah, but there's only 10 episodes up. I'm a smart cookie. So I paywalled the other 90 hours. And so it's a nice little passive income stream now. So if you, you'll see them up there on Patreon.

Yeah. Sorry, on Shame on You are up. but then if you go on patreon.com slash shame on you pod, you can get all the juice. It's kind of a nice little tease, right, for people? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I have to do more of that because I have a Patreon too. But yeah, that's actually really great.

So now unmentionable, what is that one about? I'm always been, I mean, kind of similar to you. I'm always interested in, I call it the CD Underbelly of Society. So the things that aren't talked about by people and the shame associated with that. So the reason I did this. podcast was my whole life I've just been that kid that just says everything and then people say you can't say that and I always kind of asked why. So I wanted to talk to the people that you don't hear from and sort of figure out why you don't hear from them and why these things

are taboo, why billions people have sex or they won't talk about it. And so that's been the foundation of the podcast is just kind of an unrestrained chatter. But also, I mean, I've had on, I just started on this new show, but I had on, first episode was a straight guy that does gay porn. So, that's interesting. Yeah. Yeah. And I've had on strippers.

I had on a girl last week that she makes $9.99 a month on only fans burping. Oh, my God. I love that shit. This is a new economy right now. Yeah, yeah. This is a laugh. For burping? Burping?

Mm-hmm. Oh, my God. Yeah. Yeah. She's made thousands of dollars burping. So, and then I'm having on a woman. next week. I don't know when this airs, but her name's Corona Newton, and she's been tormented

by people because they think that she's the virus. No, I love this. This is the kind of stuff I would want to listen to, right? Yeah. Yeah. It's fun. It's fun. It's what people need right now, right? A little frivolity and mix it up.

Yeah, listen, and my audience is like right on target for you, right? Because the people that find my show are the same kind of people that would be interested in the stuff that you're talking about. Right, exactly. So, I mean, I'm just having fun. I mean, I do get serious and I do mix it up because my main interests are, you know, money systems, the economy, the environmental collapse. So I'm going to mix it up kind of on a whim and not really warm people. But I just want to do comedy.

I just want to have fun. I mean, I just, I'm a comedian. Yeah, I'm a comedian. So I just like fun. I like un-PC humor. I like to just let it rip. and I don't really worry about getting canceled or any of that nonsense. Now, do people want to find your comedy?

Like, could they find you on YouTube? Do you have a YouTube channel or, you know, how do they see that? Do you want to pitch that as well or promote that? Yes. So it's unmentionable podcast on YouTube. We have an unmentionable clips channel. And then I'm at J. Power Comedy on Instagram. I post little clips from the show, just kind of the best of hits.

And yeah, it's fun. I mean, your audience knows. But it's just, it's one of those podcasts where, I just put the disclaimers out. I'm like, you know, we try to wean out the easily offended because we really don't have any restraint on there. Right. As far as your content, right?

And you weed it out because if someone's listening, they're just not going to fucking listen. Yeah, exactly. How long have you been doing it for? So I did the old show for 16 months and then finished that. Actually, then I released my book this summer called Famous Anus. Yeah. Which, yeah, what's in the title, eh? Exactly. Famous Anus. You heard that right. A-N-U-S. Where could people buy that? Is that off of your website or off of Amazon?

That's on Amazon. And that is a 10-year decade of my life. It's absolutely wild book. I hook up with my boss in one chapter. Yeah, these are the kind of stories I want to hear about, you know. And you have another book coming out. And I'm like, is that title? Like, does that mean? Because it's called My Therapist Sent Me Nudes. And I'm like, did his therapist send him nudes? Because that's the other thing I'd want to talk to you about, for sure. Yeah. So, I mean, I'll just finish on Famous Anand. So Famous Ait is a 10-year decade of my life. I bring up with my boyfriend.

I go insane. I check into a mental hospital. And then I sort of go on this journey of trying to find love. But I don't have any of the tools. And so it's just sort of a self-destruction, one after another. I get chlamydia twice in four days. It's just really a ridiculous, nonsensical book. But I think it also has a lot of heart to it.

You'll notice by the end, I'm really growing up. And then my new book is coming out next year. It's called My Therapist to Subby Nudes. And that is based on a true story. I had a therapist who sent me nude photos on Grindr at 2am and an Uber to his house. Oh, my fucking God. Did you go? No, no, God, no.

First of all, he was quite older. But I wrote back to him and I said, after he sent me it, I wrote back to him, I said, is this seriously happening? Like, is this really going on right now? And I've been thinking about it for a while. That's what he said. Yeah, I remember there were parts during our sessions that I just sort of blocked out of my head. I thought, oh, well, that's not weird.

And he's asking me about using masturbation as an anxiety coping mechanism. and I remember he just went a little too deep. Yeah, yeah, you could always tell something a little inappropriate. I remember having one where he kept like going back to this weird question, like, do you like it really rough when you have sex? Like, I mean, I was like, why the fuck is this guy pushing this? You know what I mean? It's obviously he's trying to just get some scoop.

You know, it's like jerk off material for him. Yeah, yeah. So I talked about it on, I told the story on my podcast on Shame on You a while back. And within four days, I received eight emails. all naming the person and I never had used his name on the podcast. Oh, because the same thing happened to him, to them, with that same guy. How does he still in business? That's crazy.

Well, he's actually dead now. I just found out two weeks ago that he died of cancer. Someone had sent me the link, one of the listeners. But, yeah, I mean, I've always had a theory. I don't know if you've noticed, but it's sort of like I think a large percentage of therapists get into the business because they're just trying to figure out their own demons. Oh, to 100% I had a roommate who was in and out of mental hospitals

and now she's a social worker I mean, she's the most mental person I know. I mean, seriously. And that's what she went to school for and she's helping people. She was seriously in mental hospitals. I mean, this girl would break down and feed his position for nothing, no reason.

You know, she really couldn't handle life but she's helping people. So yeah, I do believe that. I mean, I know that that's a very true statement and that's a scary thing. I'm a big pusher of therapy. I love therapy, but I always say, like, you know, finding the right therapist may take a while, right?

I mean, some people get lucky and find a therapist the first person they meet, but most of the time it's not going to be right the first go-round. You've got to go through a couple before you find, quote-unquote, the one. Yeah. And I also think it's sort of like comedy and that the upper echelon of comedy is really good. Like, you know, that top 5%, and then the 95% is just very mediocre. That's everything. That's hairdresser. That's lawyers. That's doctors. That's podcasters. It's everything. 95%. I say 90% garbage, 10% good. I always will find the 10% best of best of whatever I need, right? But the rest is garbage. And it's, I think it's true across the board. So you can't find a great therapist. It just may take you a couple times. For me, it took me five times. You know, and I would just, to me, it's like dating and finding a, a boyfriend or girlfriend, whatever you're looking for.

It's like, you know, you got to go, you got to, you'll know when you meet the one right away, right? And you'll know when it's not the one. Yeah, you'll know quickly. Yeah, you'll know right away. Yeah, yeah. But you have to go on those dates with therapists before you find that person. But let's get back to you and your crazy stories, right? I'm hoping you'll share some of them. I know they're on the book and people can find out a lot more, but you're going to have to give some up on this call, right? So, you know, there's like a lot of stuff. Now, how old are you now? You sound super young.

me, you're in your 20s, right? No, I'm 34. Oh, you're 34, okay. But when did you, like, let's just get a little backstory on you as far as, like, you know, you're gay, right? Now, when did you know that you were gay and how did you come out and all that stuff? Let's go there first. I was a unique, when I talked to most of my gay friends, they sort of say, oh, I knew

when I was a kid, you know, the signs were there, blah, blah, blah. I have a weird situation with mine. I sort of felt like I always had girlfriends when I was younger, really liked them. I remember I just get really heartbroken when we would break up. And then sometime around like, I don't know, 15 or so, you know, when I say girlfriends, by the way, I mean like 13, 14, it's in like, you know, they're not real girlfriends. But I remember. We don't start dating stuff then. Yeah, for sure.

You're making out with people and shit, right? I don't know. I was having sex at 15. Damn, girl. I know. And I'm 50. So that was a real horror back then. This is like nowadays that it's normal, you know.

back that uh-uh wait so no the kids don't even have sex out they're all in s s s or eyes and they're i mean they showed this this thing about generation z yeah and they're they're the lowest generation sex because i think they're all brainwashed from social media and adderall and s sr i's and you know right so they're they're just jerking off yeah or they're just they don't know how to forge intimacy right because they grew up on a screen so they're just kind of i don't know if you've ever met these like TikTok or YouTube people in person, but they're, they're like robots. They're not even real people. Oh, really?

Yeah. It's a cultural phenomenon. But anyway, so when I sort of was, I had that, and then I started fooling around with classmates, and then I sort of was in this position where I thought it was bisexual for a while. And then it was like a storm cloud. But when you say I was pulling around with classmates, were the, were they guys and you were dating girls?

I mean, is that when it started? Yeah. Yeah, just the casual, like, it happens in, you know, tons of straight guys. It happens like, you know, you jerk off of a buddy at a sleepover. I know. I was telling my friend this the other day at lunch. Like, and he was like, nothing happened to me. I'm like, I have heard it a million times on my show.

The shit that goes down between guys and their friends, like they jerk off together. They're sleeping over, you know, stuff like that happens more than it doesn't, right? Because I've heard it a lot. So it was happening in your school, too, even with, like you said, the straight guys. Yeah, I used to have a. I used to have a straight guy that I used to, this was when I was like 29. I used to have a straight guy that I used to fucking the ass, but he wouldn't kiss. Yeah.

And then six months, he used to come over 2 a.m. wasted to my house. He would say no kissing. We would just have sex. I only did it because he was gorgeous. Like, I only kept it up. Yeah, yeah. And then one day, he told me probably like three months into our little arrangement. He told me, oh, sorry, I'm late.

I got on to play with my girlfriend. And I was like, girlfriend. Well, what did you think? I was going to ask if he was me. married. But I mean, this is crazy. Like you have a guy with a girlfriend sneaking out at all hours of the night. She has no idea her boyfriend just going somewhere, getting on all four, can you believe? And then coming back to her. You should hear a lot of times with the married ones, because I'm always like interested in those scenarios, like, where is your wife and where are you doing it?

And it's like, oh, she went away on a business trip and like she's out the door 20 minutes and somebody's at his house, like smelling her panties and they're jerking off and blowing each other. swear like I've heard that before. So I'm always like, you never know. Well, I do have a bombshell coming up for you. Yeah. You know, we're all over the place there. Yeah, it's okay.

My dad actually was a gay penis doctor. What do you mean a gay penis doctor? What does that mean? So my dad was a urologist growing up. Okay, right. He was a penis doctor. He was married to my mom. And then this is a true story. It'll be in my second book.

Around the age of 23, My dad left the family computer open on a website called squirt.org. I don't know if you're familiar. I mean, what's in the name, eh? Yeah, oh my God. Squirt.org. Okay. Yeah, so squirt.org, if any people aren't familiar,

is a website where men hook up with other men, but it's just for hooking up. So they rate public places to have sex. So it's sort of like a Yelp for dick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Interesting. They like gas stations or parks and people will literally review it and write reviews. And then it's just a purely hookup anonymous no strings website.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I found my dad on that website. His profile came up. Oh, my God. But how did you know, it was him? Was it his name? Because, I mean, I'm assuming he didn't use face shots of himself. Or was it because he was logged in?

He was logged in. And then his email address was. getting you know you know when you get a new message on one of those sites and you get the like you have a new message on ends up in your email box yeah oh okay so so that was the basis for my uh parents divorced and then uh why did you go and snitch i snitched i snitched hard oh my god that must have been a really difficult thing i mean you had to go back to your brother now let me ask you this though did you have any idea because you're gay yourself right and At this point, how old were you when you found this?

You're like 23. 23 about. Right. So you had already been hooking up with guys yourself and everything and knew that about yourself. I mean, I don't know how good your gait are is. But did you have any inkling that something was going on with your dad, like that he might be gay at all? None. Not sure.

I actually had a boyfriend at the time who would come to the house and we kind of had a secret relationship that my family knew. They thought we were just friends. But I truly had no idea. And then, of course, you know, I used it for my comedy. And I kind of opened talking about it. And I said, my dad was gay penis doctor. You got to do what you love. And then there's like a million different jokes you can kind of go from there.

Yeah. But it's just sort of like it was one of those things where you do think back. And then my mom, in retrospect, thinks back to moments that, you know, long glances at a waiter. and just little things like that that all of a sudden she realizes. But, you know, the thing that I realized and all that, no one really talks about this is there are millions and millions of men and women who are getting these types of relationships. And we get very excited when the person comes out, and that's a great thing.

We say, oh, he's finally living is truth. Yeah, you don't know. What about the victim of the person that's left behind? Right, the carnage and the psychological trauma of someone's life being uprooted. And there's millions of children born in these families, and there's millions of people that go through this. And it's a really traumatic experience, and I saw my mom go through it. Yeah, I can imagine. Yeah.

So, I mean, you really question yourself esteem and all that. And then my dad, we confronted him about it, and he just took off. But when you, but just tell me about, like, so you go to your mother and you're like, mom, I have to tell you what I saw or, like, did you bring her over the computer? Like, how did that all go down? So I called her on the phone and I said, I have something to tell you and she was at work. Oh, my God. So I said, can you take a couple minutes? And then I told her, I just said I found him on a gay hookup site, blah, blah, blah.

And there were also another, there were other little things on there. Like he was hiding money. You know, there were all these different elements to it. It was kind of like this entire secret life that all was tied in together. Yeah. And then she sort of had a little bit of a breakdown called me back. And then confided in me that she had kind of suspected other times. But, I mean, listen, I don't want to be textbook.

But my dad, he didn't really come across as the most gay person. So it's not one of those things you would really think of. But let me ask you this. Is he gay now or was he maybe bisexual? Do you know? I mean, how does he identify as himself now that it's so many years later? Well, he's dead now So, yeah, he identifies he's dead now

But he But How long after that did he die? I mean, how long has He didn't die of AIDS I know everyone's probably thinking that No, I didn't think that at all I feel like you don't die from AIDS anymore

I know, I know There's a lot of people who don't really know how HIV works So they kind of jumped out through with Well, news flash, you know Yeah Yeah, he ran away and then we started confronted him about it. And then a couple of years later, we heard that he had started a relationship with a woman. But, I mean, I don't ever really think he was bisexual because all his relationships were very transactional.

They were based on class and status and society and networking. You mean, his relationships with women? Correct. Okay. Yeah. So, I mean, I don't know. I'll never, I never will know. How did he die?

But a brain tumor. Oh, wow. And were you in contact with him or did you guys after that happen and you said he disappeared and then you guys found out, I mean, did you sever all ties? I mean, or did he sever ties? I mean, did you ever have a relationship with him after that? Barely. I mean, his thought process was run away from family A and start family B.

And he moved to the entire other coast. And so I guess his idea was, you know, ignore that life in denial, start a new life on the West Coast, new friends. He kind of took care of her kids. And he really just had no time for us. And so it's interesting because my sister and I are, my sister's a lesbian and I'm gay. And it sort of sends you this message, right, where there's something so wrong with being gay that I'm going to completely just abandon it and run from it. And it does reside with you. Of course.

How can I? Yeah. Of course. I mean, that whole story, I think there's a lot, like, listen to a lot of people, because I know you said before, like, oh, you know, people don't talk about the residual effects of somebody coming out, right, if they're married and stuff. But I think a lot of other stories don't have that ending. Right. Yours is very harsh because, you know, because sometimes people talk through it and people work through it.

and, you know, at the end of that story, maybe people are in a better place, right? Not only the person that came out, but also the person that was in that relationship because they go on to have a much full or better, intimate relationship with someone who is totally present. Did your mother ever remarried? Yeah.

So I have a stepdad and he's an incredible guy, and it's just night and day between the two people. Right, right. You know, I think that's also why I got into my podcast. Like, shame on you, my initial podcast. was gay podcast. My current podcast isn't gay. It's just sort of broad, but I behaved in this disinhibited sexually, you know, I wasn't socially restrained on shame on you. And through my advocacy work on that podcast, it was sort of like, I'm going to live the opposite of this man. And I'm

going to be the exact, I'm going to be the most proud person. And that's why I think the podcast was so successful because we just didn't give a fuck. But also we inspired other gay guys. You know, we had a priest come out of the closet during that show. Wow. We had like guys come out. We had one guy leave his wife just because our shamelessness was contagious in a way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course.

And we had laid bare our soul on that show. So I think my whole dad situation was just sort of me thinking like, okay, I'm going to be the opposite of this and I'm going to go the other route and I'm going to make sure this doesn't happen to other families through the work that I'm doing. Yeah. But of course, it's deeply traumatizing. and that's why I'm funny. I mean, it's really one of the basis for it, right?

Yeah, for sure. And I think that there's always an overcorrection when something happens, right? And so you went the exact opposite way. And maybe the reason why you end to your show was because, you know, maybe you resolve that part of yourself, right? And you got it all out. And then, you know, you didn't have to overcorrect or go so opposite your father. You know, because maybe doing it for 16 months was like therapy for you. And that's why it was done.

Because what you were doing there was so great, right? Why end it? But maybe for you, it ran its course. And, you know, now you don't need to, you know, work it out so much because you've worked it out that way. Yeah. And, I mean, it also just, it ruined. It was, I was so radioactive in my personal life. I mean, no one wants to touch you when you're going to go on a podcast every week

and recap what happened, right? You become this radioactive person that no one trusts. And so I just wanted to get a. away from that. And, and, and, and also, you know what, I, I just was in the appetite for a broader show. I mean, we were doing gay content every single week. And it's like, we had, we really exhausted everything.

We interviewed gay priests. We interviewed meth addicts. We interviewed, like, so many different things that it sort of was just like, which was unmentionable now. It's just like, I just want to go broader and, and not just do gay content. I just want to make people laugh. Right. But back to when, so you're younger, right?

And you're, you're fooling around with guys in high school. And then by the time you find your father, you find out that your father is, you know, hooking up with guys, you're 23 and you're still not out to your family, right? Because you said that they just, you're like having these secret boyfriends come home. Were you out to yourself? I mean, did you realize then? Like, when did you realize you were gay and stopped dating women and were just strictly with guys? We realized around 15, 16, and then anonymous hookup, you know, parking lots, stuff like that.

And then I met this guy at 19 who ended up. becoming my boyfriend for five years. And that was my initial relationship. And pretty much the whole percentage of that relationship was in the closet. So we were two people madly in love just hiding everything from the world. You know, we would basically have a relationship that existed of lies and, you know, meeting up in motels and every, it was just an exhausting relationship in that sense. But around the time that I broke up with my boyfriend was around the time this all went down.

And so when my mom found out about my dad, I just took that as an opportunity to say, hey, there's one more here. And I told her that I was gay at that moment. It was a double whammy. Oh, my God, your poor mother. And then did your sister come out too? Oh, a couple years later. My mom got a little bit of a break.

But, yeah. So, I mean, and then I just went wild. So that's kind of where my book starts. You know, I bring out with my boyfriend. I go to the mental hospital. I'm sort of, you know, just losing my mind. How long are you in a mental hospital for? Just a day because I got to tell you, they have no solutions.

I don't know. I've never been in a mental hospital. But why a mental hospital? Why did you wind up in a mental hospital? Like what was going down with you emotionally that you felt like you were you put in one because you threatened suicide or like did you check yourself in because you just couldn't fucking handle the breakup? Like, why a mental hospital?

Because we've all gone through tough stuff. Mm-hmm. You know what it was? I was breaking up ending this relationship, which is kind of the only thing that was keeping me sane. And then also my family was really not doing well with the divorce and my mom wasn't doing well. And I just sort of had like a panic attack one day. I ended up going to the mental hospital. I got in a cab.

I just went right to the mental hospital. And it was almost like I wasn't crazy enough. I don't think you were. I mean, just to have panic attack, you don't need to go to the mental hospital. Maybe, you know, maybe because it was the first one you've had. I've had a million. I should have been. I've never been in a mental.

to the hospital. You know what I mean? Like maybe you probably didn't need to be there. I don't know. I mean, listen, I'm a you know, a homosexual with an affinity for histrionics and dramatic behavior. So probably not. Yay! It's a good story. It's a good story. Right. And then I kind of realized that like

they were like, you know, are you a harm to yourself or others? And it was sort of just a cry for help. And it was kind of that I needed some therapy. But at that point, I was just sort of like, okay, you guys, unless you're at a level where you need to be medicated or you're at danger yourself, there's really no solutions for you. Yeah. And then I sort of just, you know, left. And that's where my book starts is just sort of this 10-year journey of, you know,

try to figure out my, trying to find love, but really having none of the tools that you really need to find love, including self-love. Yeah, yeah, because that's where it's got to start from, right? Exactly. And also, you know, your picker and the type of people you use. go for, it just mimics your parents. Yeah. Because of your parents and whatnot, you speak out the drama, you speak out the chaos,

you speak out what's familiar to you. And what's familiar to me was absent parenting or emotionally unavailable types. Yeah. So my book is, you know, it's really just like a couple chapters in, I decide to have sex with my boss, which is really. Where were you working at the time? What kind of boss was this? Like, were you in a restaurant or was this a boss in, you know, a, all the business?

office. I was in the talk radio business in Toronto, and I didn't know my boss was gay. And one day I was at the, it seems to be a common theme. I don't really realize people in my life are gay. Yeah, I was just going to say, you have really bad gator. And most of the time that all of my gay friends, they just like, they see it in everybody, you know. Yeah, that's the other, that's the other problem too. So I was working at this radio station and I went out one day with my friends. We went to a gay bar and they had a thing called the ass contest. So you go on stage, you pull your pants down, you show your ass, people cheer, and the winner gets $150. And in the middle of the contest, I looked to my right. I had made it to the finals and I had my ass out. And I looked to the right and my boss was standing probably about eight feet of, for me with a beer.

And I just looked at them and I was like, Morgan. How old was he? How much older than you was he? Probably only like three or four years. Not quite a bit. It was a young boss. And he came over to the edge of the stage and he was wasted. And he motioned to kind of whisper in my ear.

So I leaned down over the stage and he whispered in my ear. He said, if I would have seen that ass during the interview, I would have hired you a week earlier. And I was like, so I get back on stage and I'm just kind of discombobulated because I'm thinking like, is this going to come up on Monday? Like, is this going to be my performance review?

Like, I was just, I was so confused that I didn't know how to navigate something like this. And then probably like a month later, he ended up getting another job. And the second he got the other job, he texted me and said, do you want to go for a train? And we went for drinks and we got really wasted and we were sitting outside the bar.

And he looked at me and he goes, so what do you want to do now? And I go, honestly, let's just get this over with. Like, let's stop this charade. Yeah. And so we begged. And was it good? You know what? It was pretty mediocre.

And I think the point I kind of made in my book is like the comedian sickness is like everything's a bit. So I didn't even wasn't really that attracted to him at the time. It was just that I was such a sick. person that I thought it would be a great story for my friends. Oh, I can't tell. I'm the same personality type. I did so many things just for, I love a good story.

You know what I mean? Like, seriously. Like, I almost got raped in the back of a health food store once for the store. Because I was, and like right before he was about to like do something really back to me, I was like, this is so interesting that this is happening. You know what I mean?

I have that third, like that other part of myself that could get out of the scenario and look and be like, this is so interesting. You know, it's like crazy. But like, we might be a little crazy.

It is. But it's the comedian insecurity of needing to perform and, you know, be to create bits and get people's love. And that's what I'm not a comedian and I have that gene.

So I don't know if it's so much a comedian thing or maybe it's a, you know, it's a lot of things coupled together and something. What? Maybe it's just an attention thing. No, I think, are you a very curious person? I mean, I think it's a part of being

like really curious and like and being really interested like you know like an adrenaline like there's a lot of stuff that goes into like having a good story or being a part of a good story look at fucking newscasters those people are nuts they like you know they want to be where the hurricane is they're

addicted to adrenaline you know it's it's kind of the same thing I think I don't know but I wonder if that addiction to adrenaline and all that because I think the other part of it that we're not talking about is like you can have these experiences but for me it was always the need to tell them to people. It's like, what's the point of having these

experiences if I can't use them as bits with people? And that's, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It wasn't about me enjoying the moment or having a sexy anonymous encounter. Right. It's like, I can't wait to go tell people. Yeah, being the monkey and mining it for personal content and writing a book. And

I think that's the thing I've always trying to have to work on getting away from. It's just mining my personal life for content. And then you're just like a product for sale. You become commodified in a way. Yeah, yeah. I don't have that aspect of it, but, you know, I would say that's not such a bad

aspect to have as a part of your concoction because you have these books and you have these podcasts and you're doing well for yourself, right? So you take it to the next level. I mean, isn't that what famous anus is all about, right? That part of you that you're working against maybe, that part of you that tries to always go for the story, right? And is doing that? Yeah, and there's a character that we incorporate.

in the book named Otis and he's a monkey on my shoulder. So sort of the idea of, you know, around the devil on your shoulder. And he kind of chimes in in the book to help me amplify chaos or cultivate it. And that's what I fight is that the comedian moment of sort of being the monkey, being the monkey, being loves for being the monkey and trying to be loved for other things and know that you're loved for other things. And that's not the only thing you're loved for. And so that's the side narrative of the book.

It's just, I'm going through all this chaos, but you're also seeing that there's a person there that's desperately wanting to be loved. Yeah, for sure. Like comedians do. And so it's like, this is the personal cost that's coming to me. And self-destruction is fun and it's interesting. But there's a point where it just becomes, the self-deprecation becomes self-destruction in a way. Oh, yeah, for sure. You hope that, you know, listen, some people never get to that point where they realize what you've realized.

that what you've realized, right, and sort of turn it around. Trust me, you know, when you're 50, you might still have some friends that are operating on that level because they never see it for what it is, you know? And they're just, it's just a constant replaying of the same shit over and over again, you know? But you had that turnaround. How old were you when things started to shift for you, that you started to see it for what it was and wanted to work on it? Probably about a year ago.

I think that was, that's what tied in with me ending Shane on. you is going to therapy. Yeah, I think it was like a shift for you, for sure. And I want to, I think was unmentionable. It was, uh, now I'm going externally. So it was always like what's going on in my life, what's going on my head. And, you know, narcissism is really just like a self-obsession in a way. Yeah, for sure.

And so what I do now in my new podcast is I try to go outward. So it's more about the guests. It's more about what's going on the news. It's more about social commentary. Yeah. than just treating myself as this product and, you know, listen, I have to say, no, but I have to say your 20s and in your 20s, I mean, that's what it's all about, right? Like, how else do you get to know? Because I'm always like, oh, you know, a 21-year-old's like an amoeba. You're just not even

fully formed yet. You don't know who the fuck you are. And that's what your 20s is about. So I think it's really natural and normal that, you know, you would be talking that all out about yourself and being really hyper fixated on yourself because how do you even know who you are yet right you're like we're all part of a family and inside a family you know and then eventually you get out and you're like you start to you have to figure out who you are without all that stuff that was put on you and that takes time and I think that's what being 20 something is all about and then you hit your 30s and things start to shift and it's about different things so I think that's also an age thing too yeah or some people just you know overdosed on heroin and they never get there yeah

You're right, unfortunately. I don't know. That's just what I noticed. You know, so I'm just saying it might not have been like, oh, you're so narcissistic. I think a 20-something-year-old is just narcissistic by nature. You know, I think they all are. It's still, you're still very self-absorbed, you know? Listen, I think you're pretty young to start thinking outside of yourself.

I think I quit drinking at 34. And that was like when I first, like, that's when I started to grow up. And I don't even feel like I really grew up until I was like in my 40s. know, some people take a long time, you know. You've been through a lot, right? I mean, could you just tell me how you got chlamydia two times in the same week? I mean, and how did you know? Like, I don't understand because couldn't you get cured from it?

And then you got it again? What do you mean? That was a very skilled transition. You're getting very deep. And then you're like, tell me about the chlamydia. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I need to fix it in. I normally do like an hour, hour and 20 minutes.

So I got to get it all in. We go all over the place. Oh, I got lots to give you. Yeah. So I, one of the chapters in my book is, I started a relationship of someone who was an alcoholic, like a real blackout, alcoholic drink every day sort of thing.

And really the only redeeming quality of this guy was that he really had the most beautiful penis in the world, which is insane. I mean, this is the level of insanity I had, but it was like a Nobel Prize award-winning penis. Yeah. And it just was beautiful. And but also...

And the sex was great. I mean, who can't relate to that? Who can't relate to that? And of course, he was closeted. And of course, he was self-loathing. And of course, it was a thrill and it was an affair. And it was like, it was a blast. We had a great time.

But what ended up happening is one day I was working with my business partner. And I remember I said to him, I was like, he's like, why do you keep grabbing your dick? And I was like, I don't know. It's like really burning really badly. And I went to the bathroom and I came back to him. And he looked at me and he's like, what's wrong? And I was like, either I just came in the urinal or I have an SDI. And which is never, you never want that question, right?

Is it come or discharge? Like it's like, oh, fuck. So then he, so I went to the clinic. The burning might have been a sign. Yeah, I went to the clinic and the woman handed me the thing and she said, go pee in it. And I brought it back. And it looked like, I don't know if you're Italian or, you know, you've been around time. You know Strachitella soup?

You know what that is? Of course. Uh-huh. Yeah. So it looked like that in the urine. And I remember I looked at her and she's like, listen, I'm not allowed to give medical advice, but I think you know like something, like I think something's wrong here. So they treat you and I called the guy and what ended up happening was he's actually one of the 50% that's asymptomatic.

So he had no idea who was just kind of spreading it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he got the medication. So what ended up happening is I take the medication on a Monday. I tell him, I said you got to go deal with this. He takes the medication and then you're supposed to wait like a week. So by the time it was the weekend, I think it was like the Sunday, we already started banging again because we figured we were both in the clear. But what he didn't tell me was that he's such an alcoholic that he just started the medication and then just stopped.

Like he took it for a couple days. Yeah. So and he figured, okay, a couple days, it's fine. It'll be gone by now. but it really doesn't work like that. So he passed it back to me. So I had to go back to the same doctor the next week with the same symptoms. You didn't have to go back to that doctor, just so you know.

I was going to say, like, you did not go to the same doctor, did you? I went to the clinic where she worked. Oh, my God, that's awesome. I came in the door and I was like, it was like, I was like, fuck you again. And then I told her the story. And she looked at me like you would look at like a fire that just lit a family on fire. Like if you were just, she was just. so in such horror

and then she was like I don't know if this is my place but like if you can't even trust someone with your health or health why are you having a relationship with them? That's first of all that's fucked up that's really that wasn't her place actually to say that it's ridiculous right sorry yeah no that's wrong

that's completely wrong she was she in like a new doctor because you know I mean you would think a doctor has seen a lot of shit and they should really keep their mouth shut and their facial expressions to them. You know, they should be much better at hiding that. But she probably thought someone in distress. What? Yeah. She probably thought someone in distress that was also probably some mental health.

Probably a little bit. So, uh, listen, it would be way worse if it was two separate people. It was the same guy. You know, I mean, that's not as bad. Yeah. And I, I don't know, like, I hear from friends to get STIs all the time. I will. I was, really hoary in my 20s. Yeah. This was my only experience. So I count myself a little lucky in that respect. Yeah, and it was chlamydia. It wasn't herpes. I had a

girlfriend that got herpes. I mean, that's like the worst. So I just don't think that, you know, I, listen, that doctor was completely wrong to give you a face of like, oh my God, and then tell you how could, well, did you start telling her the story? Were you like, oh, can you believe my boyfriend is a fucking alcoholic

and he didn't take his pills and he gave it back to me? Did you give all that? And then she said, oh, for sure. I probably, knowing me, I probably thought it was like a stand-up moment. Yeah, yeah, you're doing the story thing. I probably told it. Yeah, I probably was on full show and I thought it was funny. And then I think her face sort of knocked me back to reality because I, the thing about

my book is that I treated nothing as reality at the time. I took nothing seriously. I didn't even take myself seriously. Like, I didn't take anything seriously, which honestly is still kind of the way I see the world, that I just find it all ridiculous. Yeah, me too. I understand. It's silly, right?

Like, it's like, I... But everything is, like, really, like, important and really unimportant at the same time. Do you know what I mean? Like, that's the way I look at things, you know? I totally, I totally get it, you know? But that's okay because I think when you have had a lot of trauma in your life, I have. You have, right? Most people have.

A lot of people have, right? It is, you know, I think it is your saving grace. At least it has been for mine to be a person that could look at the funny. of it because there's a lot of people out there that have the same shit but they don't they can't see it as funny right or they can't like get to that place where they could you know put you know to do the spin on it because listen life is short life goes on you have this stuff right nothing's going to change tomorrow like right now in one second you know it could take years to release all that stuff but if you could laugh a little on the way i mean that's not so bad it's actually a good part of yourself

that is it does help and you know yeah i've ever done psychedelic? No, uh-uh, because I got to tell you, like, I'm always, like, I always dated, like, weed heads, because I'm, like, a stone person naturally. Like my, you know, like I said, I'm like, you know, almost getting raped and I'm thinking, wow, this is fascinating. You know, I'm like a, I'm like a, my brain is like a stone person regularly. Like, when I smoke weed, I, it's like, I feel like I'm the weirdest person around. Like, I can't. And if I started to actually see shit, like, when people tell me, like, they hallucinate, I would be freaked out. Cocaine was my thing.

I was like an alcoholic, right? And I haven't drank since I'm 34, right, for like a really long time. And I quit all that stuff. And I was never like a co-cat or anything. But if I had a drug of choice, it was cocaine because I didn't feel weird. I just felt fucking good, right? And up and it gave me a lot of energy. So no, I don't like things that make me drugs that make me feel weird because I think I just feel too weird regularly, you know?

Yeah, well, you know what that is they, the thing about it is because they're just so, suit of, they sort of allow you to step outside yourself. One of the other chapters of myself. I could do that naturally. I don't like it. You know what I mean? Well, you think that, but that's your conscience. Yeah, yeah.

No, I get it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, totally. But one of the chapters in my book is I tried acid for the first time. And one of the things is I loved it because you know what it does really beautifully is it restores the newness of your childhood. What you mean? So when you take acid, it's, you know, when you're young and everything,

incredible. Everything's amazing. No, I didn't really like being young. No, I didn't like being young. No, I hated being young. I couldn't wait to be a fucking grown-up. I'm so much happier as a grown-up person. I didn't have fun as a kid. I wouldn't want to recreate that shit. I couldn't wait to grow up.

My childhood, like, to me, is gloomy. Like, I hate the past. Like, it's so... I like the future and fucking now. I would not want to go back. But wouldn't you want to restore? To restore it? Yeah. It better, right? Like you're saying?

Like it gives you a different view of it, right? It doesn't take you back to actually what it was. It makes it better is what you're saying? Well, here's the thing. I think there's a, it's the newness of the childhood for me and I think a lot of my friends who took it. Yeah. You just, you don't ignore natural beauty in the way that we do now, meaning like it just sort of elevates, sunsets, trees, all these things that are just incredible. that we really take for granted.

It really just elevates those in a way that you feel a pureness and a peace. Yeah. And it's very, it was a very beautiful experience. The only problem with it is the last 12 hours. And at about, yeah, at about the seven hour mark,

you want to check out because you've had enough. You see, that's the kind of thing that would make me go to the mental hospital. Like I would not be able to deal. You know what I'm saying? Like, you can't get out of it, though, right?

No. It's very intense, too. Like you're talking about completely altering the reality in front of you at a certain level. Yeah. But if you get through it, it really does reset your mind. Yeah, no, I know. There's a lot of stuff now, right? And a lot of people are doing, there's a lot of therapy with psychedelics, right, and a lot of information on it. And I'm always interested to hear.

and that's one thing. Like, I face my fear. I don't, I'm not like a wuss, really. Like, I'll do a lot of shit. But that's one thing, like, I would be way too afraid to do. Like, I just, uh-uh. It's too scared. He's just like, I don't know.

You know, but you, I know you said you, there was another thing, something about boner spray. Like, I don't even know what that means, but there was some, and I remember I made a note to ask you because I'm like, I don't even know what this is. Like, I did boner spray someplace. And what does that mean? Is that another drug? I was in Columbia with a friend of mine and everything's over the counter there and he said to me

Oh, okay, boner spray, like something that you spray on your dick. No, you put it in your mouth. It's essentially spray Viagra. They sell it over the counter there. Oh, okay. I never knew that they have spray Viagra. Yeah, so it's just like you sprayed under your tongue and then wait probably about 30 minutes and you have a raging boner.

So there's a story in my book where we met up with these two guys in Columbia who were locals. And took him back to our hotel. You and a guy? You and your boyfriend? You in... Just my best friend and I. Okay. He's gay too.

I'm assuming, yeah. Yeah. And we met these guys. We took in my hotel and it was kind of like we all got drunk and we were like, oh, let's try this boner spray. And I think the story of my book is that we didn't really think it through. Like we just sort of thought it would be like, let's try this and see what happens. And then it turns into this whole.

thing where all of a sudden it's sexual because we you know where we're essentially all sitting there with boners drunk laughing and then realizing oh this is oddly sexual we didn't really think this through and then it's kind of what transpires after that what transpired like a big orgy like did you all fuck each other kind of it starts but then we're so drunk that everything starts going south so people start puking and and the bonar spray is like it's it's a drug right so it gives you like really bad acid reflux. And so it's kind of like everything goes downhill from there. Yeah, that's funny.

And so that's the story of the book. It's just kind of us trying to. But listen, I mean, like South America, you can buy anything over the counter. It's jarring that you can just buy antibiotics over the counter. Yeah, that's everywhere. It's great. I mean, you go to Europe, same shit. You know, it's only here in America where you got to get a script for, you know, antibiotics.

Other places you could just get stuff over the counter too. It's here. that's the problem. You did have an orgy though. I mean, and it's in quote unquote Hollywood. Were there any celebrities at that orgy? No, I was very disappointed. I thought like Neil Patrick Harris or someone would be there.

It was a low rent orgy. It was also my first orgy. But we got invited to an orgy when we were in Hollywood and we're like, you know, what the hell? Let's check it out. How did you get invited? Like was it a promoter? Like was it that kind of orgy?

Was it someone's house? and they're like, oh, we're having a swingers party? I mean, like, how did you get invited to an orgy? Like, how is it pitched to you? They messaged us on Grindr and then had said, do you want to come to this orgy, blah, blah, inquired further. Oh, okay. So someone's putting together a party, right?

Right. And they make you try out for the, you have to try out by sending a picture of yourself holding the date of that day to make sure it's recent. Yeah, they want good looking. Yeah, that's like a promoter's doing that. Mm-hmm. Yeah, and then it was like, it's like a group.

So it's like an ongoing group. And then the group has to approve the new person. Okay. So then we went. Who's we again? You and your best friend again are deciding to go? Me and my best friend, yeah. Who was your friend?

Was he the guy that was your co-host on your old podcast? Correct, yeah. Okay, cool. All right, go on. And so we went to the Sorbonjade. It was in West Hollywood. And it was just at a guy's condo. It was probably only like 600 square foot.

condo really tiny. Yeah. And we just, oh, I just remember opening the door. And I was just, it was 25 guys just fucking like wild turkeys in the middle of the room. And it was like, it was so intense that it was desexualized. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like I didn't even feel turned on. It was just too much.

And then I remember I walked to get a drink. And pretty much the first thing I saw was like a guy with two dicks in his ass on the couch. and it was like it was like starting super mario but like at the end yeah like at the end like the last boss like it was something you needed to build up to yeah and and i just remember seeing like i by the time i'd poured another drink i just remember seeing guys were like blowing on each other's faces and like and then they would come over to you and start a conversation like after you just saw them violate so much space they would come over to you and just and then you'd just be like hi yeah oh hey and then he's like yeah i got to get hydrated

and he was drinking water. He's like, okay, see you guys later and got back out. And it was just, I mean, I was just, I mean. I had a whole thing about jizzing on face. Like, I was always very interested in asking people that question because I feel like there's something very degrading about it, you know, for the person that likes it as a, and also for the person that does it, you know, I always used to. I had like a whole jizz quiz about it because I just felt like there was something more to that,

you know, whether you like doing that or you like doing that to somebody. There's something to it. I don't know. Like, do you like to... It's degrading. It's just a form of degrading. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, totally.

You know, I knew one guy once said to me like, oh, you know, and he was like trying to get down my pants and he was like, oh, I like the things I love the best were like, you know, coming on a girl's face and like, and also fucking her in the ass and then fucking her regularly. Like so it's like, I was like, you like hate women. You know what I mean? Like you're just... Oh, no.

He said, no, no, it wasn't fuck her regularly. He was like to fuck her in the ass and I love for her to suck my dick right after. So, like, you're sure. shoving shit in a girl's mouth and you're coming on her face. I'm like, this guy is like he hates women. Like, you know, stay away.

Red flag right there if you ask me, you know. I mean, the thing about the thing about Ashtamouth is it's really a vile act if you think about it. Oh, yeah, no, it's right up there, which is, it's degrading. And some people I think that's the turn on, right? Yeah, but I think it's just like,

I don't know, I think Ashtamouth if you like visually, thought about it is so gross but I mean it's it's probably good for your immune system because at least you're like you know you're getting exposed to things no I think shit has a lot of like bad bacteria

it's not good no it's like the pee like remember Madonna said she always pees in the shower because her pee is like gets rid of I don't know I thought there was something she said like you know it gets rid of what's that disease on your feet the foot oh athlete's foot athlete's foot yeah like there's something in pee like you get but I think shit is a whole different

story. I think it's, no, I think it's very bad. I think you get really sick from it. I don't know. I just personally think that's a warning sign. Like I said, I think I've had people on my show that like that kind of stuff. I mean, I'm not here to judge, but I do think if somebody loves

to be jizzed on their face and they want to eat shit, you know, you may have like self-esteem thing going on too. I don't know. Or you're the person that likes to do that. Yeah. I think you you kind of hit the nail on the head and that like guy who always wants to do that to women,

you're just like, oh, that's like, I don't know. It does feel like how you're punishing women. Yeah. Yeah, and it turned out he became my friend and his mother was really fucking mean and I was like, oh yeah, that's why you're like every year, but you're, you know, putting that stuff on these girls. Like, you're

doing that to your girl. You're basically putting your shit dick in your mom's mouth and that's, you know, you're getting back there. Like, that's what it's all about. Chivalry is dead. Chivalry is totally dead. ass the mouth really put the nail in the shivery. But wait, at that orgy, did you, like, have sex with anyone?

Oh, so I was disgusted because I just thought it was too much. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I picked up a guy at the orgy who still had his clothes on and then took him back to our Airbnb and then ended up looking up with him. Oh, there you go. Yeah, but I don't know. I'm not really, like, I used to have threesome. Uh-huh. That's my limit.

I don't know. There's a point where there's just too many fluids. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get it. Now, let me ask you this. Where are you at now as far as relationships? Are you in a relationship? Are you single? No, I was dating someone in the summer who was in their 20s, and I was like, oh, yeah, this is a terrible idea. What a terrible idea.

Why were they a narcissist? No, I don't think you, I know this sounds agents, but honestly it's rooted in reality. I think we all forget how immature we were. he was 26 but also it's just when you're that young you are very impressionable you're very insecure you look for social cues

from everyone else and so I just think for someone like me who's a lot and who's really unorthodox I just think in a way it just wasn't a good fit I just I have trouble navigating people's insecurities

and at that age and I think it's sort of like you don't know what you don't know. Yeah. And that's what I found. I was just like, oh, yeah, there's a huge gap between, let's say, 26 to 30. Yeah. Massive gap there and maturation.

So no, that's your answer. And then now I'm in lockdown, so I'm really not supposed to. I mean, off the record, yeah, I'll probably hook up some. Yeah. Are you looking for a relationship? I mean, is that what you'd like to have? Like, where are you at in your life? Like, do you enjoy being single or are you, like, more a relationship person?

you enjoy more so being in a relationship? I'm kind of, at this point in my life, I'm kind of all in or all out, meaning like either I'm 100% single or I'm in a serious, committed, long-term relationship. How long did you date that young guy? Oh, it was just a few months. Oh, okay, right.

And before that, when was your last long-term relationship? Probably, there's a story in my book. The last chapter of my book was about, a year on and off with a closeted person. That's a fun one. It seems like a theme. And that was a really, that's the last chapter of my book. It's really sad.

A lot of people cry when they read it. And it's sort of me coming out of the other side and saying like, okay, I'm really done with this phase of my life and the pain. Yeah. Because I don't think people realize, like, for anyone listening, I mean, just even, not just in the gay world, but just emotionally unavailable. What I learned in that situation was that it doesn't matter how much you love someone, their hate for themselves will always win out.

And I really tried to fix him. And I sort of probably thought that if I saved him and helped him come out and help them love himself, that he would need me and he would be indebted to me. And that was kind of what I learned from that relationship. So that's the last chapter in my book is just sort of saying this is the final one. This is the last time I'm going to do this to myself. Yeah, well, don't you think what you were doing was working out your stuff with your dad? I mean, you know, your dad was the closet of person, right?

So, like, you know, you're working that story out and with these guys and within your relationships. You know, that's what we have to do. We can't go back and listen, especially because your dad's dead, but even if they're alive, you can't really go back and rework your childhood and your traumas with the exact person, but you work them out through your relationships, you know? And so you're like working through. your dad being closeted and, you know, so I think it's like you were trying to get those people out. It was like what you would have wanted to do with your father that you couldn't do,

right? Yeah, and I also had that problem, which a lot of people have, is where we imagine people as who they could be in the future rather than who they are now. So you sort of project this entire fantasy onto them and who they're going to become. And I just kind of exhausted myself molding people into the kind of love that I was missing for myself all over time. And you know what? There is a point also just in general where the drama and the chaos, it just gets old, gets exhausting. It has no allure anymore.

Yeah, for sure. No, that's good because some people stay addicted to drama and chaos their whole life. You know, I mean, for me, the drama and chaos stopped when I quit drinking. That was like, I mean, I wouldn't say that it stopped immediately, you know, but it slowly lost its lure for me by quitting alcohol. That's what I had to do. And that wasn't until I was 34. I was like a fucking crazy train rack until then, you know?

And so I think it's great that you're at that place because like I said, I mean, when you get older, you'll see, like, you're still young as far as like you're looking around at all your friends and who they are now. You know, fast forward 15 years. Like, you know, you're going to see a lot of people that have stayed in the same place, a lot of people that have grown and changed, you know, and just like I said, a lot of people that have it. right and and that's the saddest thing because I do believe like life is all about sort of having issues problems working through them growing learning things changing moving on right to the next thing and it's great that you've done so much of that already at such a young age right because I'm telling you I promise you that some of your friends 10 years from now will still be in the same fucking place you know and you have been moving on you know you

you'll probably be in five different places until then because that's more your personality type, which I think is great. Yeah. And no, I think also you, one thing you will notice is the people that didn't grow, which you're kind of alluding to, is you can, if you stay around them too long and too close in their orbit, you can become collateral damage in their pain. And I really, that's what I really have that sense now because of therapy is like in the summer, I had a friend of mine who, frankly, it's just a mass spiraling out of control.

I love the guy, right? Like, I was friends with him. I was kind of like, you know what? This is your life. These are your choices. I still love you as a person. But then because of his pain did something really shitty to me. And that was the point where I said, okay, now this is spilling over into my life.

Yeah, and now I get to say I'm out. Yeah, because what's going to. Yeah, because a lot of times really hurt people like that. It can't help but put their stuff on you, right? Because that person might be jealous, you know, like all that kind of stuff goes on and then toxic, fucking relationships. Because I do find I always had toxic relationships and I had

toxic friendships, right? I mean, I think a lot of times it goes hand in hand, right? The people that are attracting toxic relationships or having working out their issues are also doing it with friendships too. And, you know, I think it's great that you have gotten

to the place in your life where you have said no thanks to some of the patterns in your life. I do think that whole pattern of having the guys who were in the closet was 100% related to your father and working that out and what happened with him because that's a major thing that had to have stuck with you, right? And so many different ways and that was your way.

And I think, you know, and then other trauma works itself out with relationships, with friendships too, you know, if you're attracted to the stories and everything, that same part of you, you know, these drama friends have some good stories, right? And take you on that little ride with them, right? And it could get fine until they start dumping too much on you, right? You have to learn boundaries. And I think that that could be hard sometimes, you know? Yeah, I think I'm there now.

I mean, I really grew up a lot. I mean, even reading my own book, I'm doing the audio book now. I'm just like, who is this person? Yeah. He's very, I mean, it's kind of nice because I have this time capsule, right? Same with the old podcast in the book. The one thing is you have the time capsule and then you have this reference points to see how far you've grown and come from that period. And that's where I'm out right now.

It's just sort of you come out of the other side and you're like, God, I don't even recognize myself in a way. I just really, I don't even know these patterns anymore. And that's the sign where you're overcome the obstacles. And that's why. Because I mean, I have changed so much in my life and morphed into so many times and been through really big major changes. And so I believe that people can change, you know, but there's so many people out there that think people don't change. But I think people can and do. And I think that that's what life is about.

And I think as long as you're fucking alive, like, that's what you're supposed to be doing. And, you know, but a lot of people don't see it that way, you know. I have a book. I did a book. I did a book. It's a cartoon book. It's a graphic novel. And it's literally from my losing my virginity story, which is off the charts and not one person in the whole world has it, to turning 40.

and every horrible relationship that happened in between, you know. And, you know, it's, it was very, because I'm a talker, I'm not a writer. Writing was a very hard thing for me, right? Because it's like a, you know, my mind is three pages behind my brain. You know, my mind is three pages ahead of my writing. You know, I can't fucking stand writing, but I did this. And it was a very good thing for me to do at the time because it did, it was a different sort of way of thinking about things and putting it all out and releasing it. You know, and I do think that there's therapy in that, right?

And, you know, I think that it's good. But I think it's, you shouldn't really be able to look back at yourself and be like, oh, I'm exactly the fucking same. How lame is that? I don't know. Yeah. Seriously. It's hindsight.

It's very, hindsight is powerful. I mean, I think people don't realize it's like hindsight shows you how far you've come. Yeah. And it's really one of the best tools that we have because it shows you how far you can grow from there even more. And so that's one of the, the theme. It's just like, it's a nice thing. I mean, but you know, at the end of the day, I will always say I love, I do love, I will always love kind of damage people because give me like,

I don't like banal conversations. I don't like boring people. I don't like having conversations. The messed up people, they're fun to be around. Addicts are fun to be around. I mean, they give life a little bit of spice, but then the question is how much are you going to take and how fun is it at some point, right? Right, of course. And addicts, listen, I mean, it depends on where you're talking to them. Are you talking to them, you know, before or after they quit? Because a lot of people will think, you know, I'm a non-drinker, right, since I'm 34 and I would meet a lot of people, especially early on when I quit, like, I don't know, just sort of giving me the vibes that they think it's like, I'm fucking boring because I don't drink, you know, or a lot of people think that, you know,

it's just like a funny thing to say or think. But I'm like, do you actually, like, you know who addicts, are there the funnest fucking people in the room? You know what I mean? You go to an AA meeting or any, and I don't even do that anymore. I don't work a program. I just don't fucking drink. But I'm telling you, like, people who don't drink and that came to the other side, there's still that fun fucking person, right?

Like, they took things to the edge and then came back. I mean, they're not dull people. Like, that's not who addicts are. They're interesting, crazy, amazing people, even without the stuff, you know? It's like, to me, they're more interesting than the people that could drink moderate.

Like, who the fuck cares? Like, my friends that would have been able to drink regularly, I'd be like, I just always thought they were so boring. You know, I didn't, but I mean, they're not boring. Yeah, they're fine. You know, that's normal people. But I'm just saying, like, addicts aren't, you know, quote unquote messed up. Like, maybe when they're in their addiction, yeah, but when they're on the other side, like, they're still fucking fascinating people.

And I just think most people, I mean, my whole premise of my show and then we'll get back to your show and you're going to pitch all your stuff again before we wrap up. But, like, my whole premise is that, like, you know, most people, you know, I get on the show with a total stranger. I don't do any intel on somebody. I don't know where the conversation's going. I don't know how it's going to turn out. I don't know what someone's going to take me tell me, but I'm curious and I just ask

questions as I go and that's what comes about. But I really feel like if you talk to somebody enough for a long enough time, you'll find that most people are fascinating. Most people are, quote unquote, damaged in one way or the other. Like, who doesn't have fucking shit put on them? It wouldn't be normal. There would be no reason to come to

this earth and be born and live a fucking life if you weren't going to have some shit to work through, you know. So everybody has it. Everybody's kind of messed up. People are better at hiding it, I'm telling you, you know, than others. Some people are acting it out and letting it all out on the surface like you are. Some people are fucking keeping it all locked inside and it's, they don't show one fucking bit of it. But it doesn't mean that they, they don't have it going on. Everybody's going to have a little bit of messiness in their life. But that's normal. And I think that that's okay and that doesn't mean

you're wrong or bad or flawed I think you know and I but I do think a lot of people think that and that's why people keep it all to themselves and what we're both doing in our podcast is letting people let their freak flag fly and be real and be human beings and there's no judgment

to that because to me I don't judge one person that calls into my show because I'm just like these are regular people that are having and this is real life shit that happens I don't care what you think you this is it you know and people aren't telling you because you'd fucking judge them but it's still the truth it doesn't take away from the stuff that's actually happening so let's get back to your podcast so people could go check it out because i feel like the people that

love listening to the people who call my show are going to love your show as well right and so it's unmentionable right can they get it everywhere like give your pitch so that people could go find your stuff yeah so it's on all podcast players and then uh we drop a full hour uh episode on youtube um it's it's we got a really nice studio so it's uh some people just put on their tv watching on YouTube. Oh, that's awesome. But if you go on, yeah, if you go on at J. Power Comedy, you'll see all clips from the show and kind of guess and my vibe just with my comedy.

It's a fun, it's a fun time. And honestly, right now, everyone needs it. Yeah, for sure. I'll include all the links. I'll include a link to unmentionable. I think people would like to hear those stories that you mentioned on your other podcast, too. I could include a link to that if you want. Where could they find you on social media and your website?

Did you give your website? I'll give that too as well. I don't have a website, but at J-Power comedy on Twitter or Instagram. You can find me there. And J-P-A-R-N-E-R. But like I said, I'm going to give those plugs in the description as well. People could find you, listen to your show. And thanks so much for calling in and telling me all your stories.

People also could buy your books. Remember that, right? Famous Anus. Amazon. And then wait for the therapist that, bought you news. When is that one coming out? Probably a week from June. Oh, okay. So 12 months from June.

Yes, people, like I said, because a podcast, people, that'll be here in no time. And people will be listening to this, you know, whenever. So if you're listening to this after June, it's already available. Go look for it. If not, it'll be out in June. All right. Take care. All right.

Bye. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. is now available not only in paperback and e-book, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang being girl story. Like I said, 17 stories and they're all told in the third person and they're all true. I took the interview and

rewrote it in the third person and I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. 17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, one or two and then skip around. You could. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format, and finally, the audio book is available coming out August 25th, but you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint, okay? There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me,

okay? I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other and that's what you get to do there. You could post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total strictly anonymous community and you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord. It's private, like I said. All you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook or the paperback. Send it to me at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. That's Strictly Anonymous Podcasts at Gmail.com.

And I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in. This is the Strictly Anonymous Podcast.