Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 376 - Jim's Wife Hooks Up with her Booty Call and Jay is No Longer a Sex Addict

Episode Date: February 22, 2021

Bonus Double episode! Jim calls in to talk all about his wife's recent hook up with her long term boyfriend/booty call. Where exactly did they meet up? What exactly did they do together? And how did the experience make Jim feel? Tune in to find out plus hear all about why shaving his wife's p***y is one of his favorite forms of foreplay, the other crazy s-e-x experiences she has had with her "boyfriend," how she "punished" him for being late, the toy she brought along with her and why she brought it, how he loves being a cuckold, what cuckolding actually means, the "big" toy she brought along and a whole lot more. PLUS Jay the sex addict calls in to talk all about how he stopped his addiction. What exactly did he do when he was a sex addict? How did he quit his addiction? How has being "sober" changed his life? Tune in to find out plus hear all about who he used to sleep with behind his wife's back, how his sex life with his wife was before he stopped cheating and how it is now, how caving in and finding a therapist really changed his life plus a whole lot more.  **To see anonymous pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. The Craigslist is definitely like the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Singapore or Thailand. You can't not do it.

The temptation is just too much. It's real problems. Do your friend know that you're banging her or no? No, he has no idea. And anything goes. The motto of the show, let your freak flag fly. Probably the only good advice I'll ever give you is to rehire. your whips and chain. Here is your host, Kathy.

Hey, welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast with Kathy. If you want to follow the Strictly Anonymous podcast on Instagram or Twitter, follow the show at Strict Anonymous. If you want to be on the show, I always say it's a call-in-vice show, but it's really also mainly a show where people call in to talk about their secret, private, naughty lives while remaining totally anonymous. I change everybody's voices. I swear to you, like these people's sound normal but they're not these are not the voices so you could be on and I'll change your voice if you're on YouTube make sure to I'm on YouTube make sure to follow me uh not follow me what do you do on YouTube oh yeah you subscribe to my channel you can also make sure to like and share my

videos and comment on them I try to get back to every single person who comments on my videos at least within like 24 hours that's what I set out to do sometimes I just have so many I just can't get to them that quickly, but I eventually do get to them all. So go there, comment on the show. I also have a Patreon. I have a couple different levels. The lowest level is three bucks. And for $3, you're supporting my show, which I really appreciate. I've been doing it for about six years now. You get these episodes early. You also get a Q&A filled with a lot of interesting scooges. And you get to ask questions on that you, Q&A, and I answer them. If you haven't subscribed to my show on the podcast app that you're listening to my show.

That's where most people listen to my show is on a podcast app, whichever one it is. Definitely subscribe to my show as well as give me a review if you can, a five-story review or write a killer review. I love great reviews. What else? I'm just going to get into this way. I might feel like I'm missing something. I don't know what it is.

Oh, did I say if you want to be on the show? Yeah, I think I started and I didn't finish it. But if you want to be on the show, go to my website. Trickland on Misspodcast.com and click on B on the show. I say I'm always looking for callers. I have too many callers now, but, you know, I am always looking for them, especially if you have something that I've never heard of or talked to, I talked about before. So today on the show, I have like an interesting show today because I have two different episodes.

I taped, I talked to two people. I decided I was going to do like a where are they now thing with these episodes, a bunch of episodes and put them together. But they, I wound up talking to them for so long. I was going to do them a separate episodes, but I have too many episodes, too many, and I need to just get them out there. So I'm putting stuff together. This is two different episodes. They are former guests of mine who have been on the show previously, and they called in with an interesting update.

The first one is hot. It's Jim or Jay, whatever you, whichever episode you listen to. He's been on a couple times, most of the time as Jim, but he also called in once as Jay. he has a wife that's got a boyfriend he's fucking really into it uh you could listen to his other episodes i'll link them in the description below but on this episode he talks about uh you know a recent hookup that his wife had with her 17 year boyfriend not 17 year old uh she's been seeing this guy on the side for 17 years banging him this guy's married right and she just meets up with him every now and then uh they had a covid hookup and he went into detail of exactly what went down

at that hookup, like how it sort of gets set up, what she does to get there, how much he knows about it, and what they do when they're there, and then some other stuff. Jay, Jim, Jim, Jim. It's always interesting because he always just like throws other shit out there. Like, we wound up somehow talking about shaving pussy and how he likes to do that to his wife and what a turn on that is. we talk a lot though also about the psychology behind cuckold cuckolding and why he likes to do that and whether he really is a cuckold because he doesn't like he doesn't have that that whole humiliation aspect to it but he believes he is a cuckold but he doesn't like the word cuck and we just get into that because it's interesting um but and he is definitely like i said a cuckold he talks about why he likes it he loves the fact that his wife sleeps with other people and uh we get into all of that like i said and just specifically talk about the fact that his wife was meeting up with someone. And then at the end of it, he told me, like, while we were talking or just recently, he got a text from her saying, like, hey, the guy's coming in town again.

She's going to meet up with him. And he was supposed to, you know, sort of email me after and tell me what happened. And he did. And what happened was the guy's flight got canceled, so they never saw each other again. So that's that. But the story that you're going to hear about their most recent hookup is hot. So listen to that. And then I talked to Jay.

Now, Jay was on previously. He, his episode was Jay was a total, is the, is a sex addict. I mean, he really is, was a sex addict, right? This is Jay so many years later, a couple of years later, right? And he has totally changed. He's sober, free of his sexual addiction. And we talk about that. I have to say, people who know and listen to my show a lot know that these kinds of calls

are my fave because I'm a former addict, right? I quit drinking like 17 years ago. I'm what you would call a sober person. And I think it doesn't matter whether you drank alcohol or you fucked to, you know, run away from your problems. You know, addiction, it doesn't matter what you used as an addict. I think a lot of addicts are the same, right? And we have the same things going on.

And we talk all about that. And that's why these are my favorite conversations because I could totally relate, been there, done that. And he has two. He's not somebody that you're going to listen to. and he has his problem and he's trying to figure out how to solve it. He has solved it. He's on the other side.

He talks about how, what he used to do, who he used to fuck. I mean, this guy was like with escorts and strippers and hookers and all that kinds of stuff, all behind his wife's back. He was able to get out and change himself with his head up high. He walked out of, like, he just like ended his addiction. He didn't have to get caught. He didn't have to hit rock bottom. He talks about why he stopped, what he used to do and how he's been successful at staying. stuff, as well as like, you know, how his relationship with his wife changed after he did,

what their sex life was like before, what it's like now, and how he's got to know his wife better and her fantasies and get her to be more open-minded about the stuff that he likes to do about sex. How did he do that? He talked to her a lot about her fantasies and got her to open up about that. And we get into a lot of details, like I said, about how that happened, how he pushed for that to happen, how he got into therapy, how he felt. found the best therapist. These are my favorite episodes because I think you could really learn a lot from these kind of episodes. If you're an addict, if you know an addict, there's a lot of insight in these kinds of calls for me. If you want to hear a hot story, listen to Jim. If you want to hear

learn a lot or get motivated or inspired to kick your addiction, listen to Jay. If you're just a person like me who likes to hear people, other people's stories and just curious in general, listen to both. I'll put the timestamp. in the description. So if you want to fast forward to one or not or whatever, it'll be there for you. It'll make it easy. But anyway, I'm going to get right back on because it's a long-ass episode because it's two episodes. I'm going to be, and Jim's first.

So I'm going to be right back on with Jim. Hey, Jim. Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast for your Where Are They Now episode. I try and do all of them in January. And I might, it depends on how long we go. You know, I might pair you up with somebody. this might be stand alone let's see what we talk about because i have a question for you about cuckolding you called in your name your name is jim you've been what is your other name you've been on my show a couple

times i'll put your other episodes i'll put in on youtube i'll put links to your other episodes um underneath the description but what was the other name it was jim and john i used jay one jim jim okay jim and jay yeah yeah that just the initial so i will link to your other episodes your last the most recent episode you did It was all about how you and your wife both have long-term, what I say, booty calls, relationships with other people. You're a very successful, open relationship couple. Is that right to say? And there's the whole cuckolding thing that goes down. That's correct.

Yes, we're very committed to one another. Yeah, yeah. And you're very into having your partner be with other people. Both of you are stimulated by that, right? Yes, absolutely. Yeah. Then that's my question for you at the end. I just want to see like what your opinion is about the whole cuckling thing. Because someone asked me that question. But first I want the update, right? Because you have like an interesting story that happened with your wife. People should listen to your most recent episode because we talked a lot about the fact like, you know, the backstory and all this stuff that she's done up until now, right? This is what she's done since we last spoke. Now she has a long term booty call guy. How long has she been with that guy? somewhere about 15, 16 years, something like that, 2003, 17 years.

Right now. So was she seeing him all through COVID, or was this the first time that she saw him? I'm sorry, I didn't hear your question. Yeah, was this the first time she's seen him during the pandemic, or was she seeing him the whole time? Yeah, you know, she's been seeing him, but I think it's the first time since the pandemic. I could be wrong about that, but that's what I think anyways. Okay, cool. So what went down and how did it get hooked up? Well, it was around mid-September, I guess.

And we hadn't been doing anything because of this damn virus, you know. Yeah. So he had texted her one day. You know, he always does that. You know, it's kind of like a spur of the moment type of thing. And he said, hey, I'm going to be at this airport at such and such a time. I think it was like 8.30 at night. Come up and spend the night with me.

Well, the thing is it was like a two and a half three-hour drive. in the house. So she said, okay, I think I can do that. So she talked to me and she said, do you mind if I go? And I said, no, absolutely not. So anyways, there's a million things to get done because she's only, you know, she's got a three-hour driving. We're talking like he's going to be there in four hours.

So we got to really move. Oh, it wasn't even like tomorrow. It was like tonight, right now. It was like tonight. Yeah. It was like, you know, I think something like, you know, ready. Yeah. It's the way he texted her.

So. So I said, listen, the car needs gas. Why don't you go get gas in? I'll cook you a quick dinner because, you know, I don't want you to drive three hours and then hook up with him and not be able to eat 12 o'clock tonight or something. Yeah. She needs to eat.

So she goes out and gets the gas. And I had already planned on cooking. It was almost started to be prepared. So I threw together this really quick, this meal for her. And she went to the gas station. And as soon as she came back, dinner is ready. So I fed her and then, oh, we got to shave her pussy. So I got to go shave her pussy to get her ready because he goes nuts of her pussy.

Because he what? Because he what? He insists that her pussy be shaved all the time, which I like anyways. And I was a couple of days behind doing it. You do it for her all the time? I do. Yeah, it's fun. It's part of foreplay.

It's absolutely phenomenal. Oh, my God. Every time I talk to you, there's something new that you throw in there that I could like talk to for a little like it to you about for like 20 minutes but you like doing it she likes doing it i mean how did that start yeah how did we were shaving her pussy is that what you mean yeah um when we first hooked up together she probably had the hairiest bush i've seen in my life and of course we're brand new together so i'm not going to say anything bad about you know i'm not going to say so i come home from work one day and she goes i've got a surprise for you i said okay

And I had never talked to her about shaving her pussy. Right. She takes her clothes off and her pussy shave. And she says, do you like it? And my eyes lit up because I love shaved pussy. Right. I just happened to really like them. And I said, yeah, and it's been shaved ever since.

And somehow or another, we got into it. I said, would you mind if I did it? She said, no. And, you know, any girl that trusts you with a razor next to her vagina is a girl that you want to keep forever. Yeah. That was literally the first thought when you said. said, oh, you want me to do it? And I was like, imagine.

It would be very scared that you're going to nick me, that you don't know what you're doing. You know that I would get hurt. I've only nicked her, I think, once and all the time that we've been doing it. Right. And so do you normally do it in the shower? Like, and that's how. No, I get a bowl of hot water and she lays down on the bed and I get down. I've got some little like knee pads and I put the knee pads down and I get her all lathered up.

And I use a warm wash cloth and I put that on her and get everything nice and soft. And then as soon as I've got everything where I think I need to have it, you know, then I shave away. And I usually wind up going down on her right afterwards. And she loves it. It's really a lot of fun. It really is. And is it like erotic? Like is it something that you're turned on by?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, I really love it. Yeah. It's a lot of fun. And she loves it too, you know. We call it opening the barbershop. Oh, it's time to open to the barbershop. Yeah.

And she'll say sometimes she'll say, you know, it's like the barbershop needs to be open. Oh my God, that's so funny. Yeah. So anyways, I got her all shaved. Yeah. And, you know, she was nice and fresh and clean, and she threw some sexy stuff together. And he likes to play with toys. So she's got this, like, really big, friggin' rubber tildo.

How big? Do you know how big it is around? It's at least 12 inches and probably three inches around. I mean, it's really big. Yeah, that's major. Yeah, and he likes to use that on her, you know. I never do because she's tight as hell anyway, so. So how the hell does he get it in?

You know, I've never watched him do it, so I really don't know. She gets so damn wet and turned on. Right. It's unbelievable. Right. Okay. I guess it just, you know, if a baby can come out, I guess a doldo can go out. Yeah, no, of course, right.

Yeah, totally. And she likes that, but she doesn't ever push you to do it. She just does it with him. Right. Yeah. He likes the toy stuff. And I don't think she's real crazy about it, but, you know, and she does it for something for full play for him.

And, you know, he has a good time with it. And she has a good time with it. So they're both happy, I think. So she puts the huge toy in her bag. Yes. And then, you know, and then she's, she, uh, loads up the car and she takes off. And, uh, I said, text me when you get there. And there was a really lousy, uh, weather.

system coming through. So for about an hour, she's driving through this blinding Florida rainstorm where she can see about eight feet in front of her. And it's at night. She doesn't know where she's going. So that was kind of tense for her. So she finally got up there. And of course, his flight is late because of the weather. So she's there. And I'm flight because I've got the flight number. I'm flight tracking it. So I know it hasn't even left where it's leaving from. And I'm trying, and I don't want to text her while she's driving. So I wait until she texts me and I said, hate to tell you this, but you got another hour and a half to wait. So, so she found his hotel where he was going to be, and then she pulled into that. And then I get this brilliant idea that, you know, she's always

FaceTiming with him. Yeah. So, and I'm turned on, I've got a heart on, you know, so. Because you know your girl's going to be with this guy. I mean, that's what's doing you on, right? Uh-huh. Yes. So I get out, I get out the, uh, on my phone. I've got an app to be able to communicate with her video-wise, you know. So I, I turn that on and I dial her up and there I am with my heart on playing with my dick while she's, you know, and, of course, she answers the phone and she sees this dick sticking her in her face.

And I said, you can tell what I'm excited about this. Yeah. And where is she, is she like able to get into the hotel room? Did he put her name like with the. front desk or she in her car waiting? No, she's in her car waiting. Okay. What he usually does is he likes anonymity.

Yeah. So he gets to the hotel and then he'll text her room X, X, X, X, X, X, X, and she just walks through the hotel. Yeah, yeah, I get it. She loves it because it's like she's doing a call girl type of thing. Right, like an escort. Like, she's an escort. Yeah.

And that's part of her fantasy. So she goes up there. And then she says that she's going up to, you know, and the next thing I'm going to hear from her is the next morning, you know. Yeah. And so there I am horny as hell, knowing my wife is getting laid by this guy. The whole night, right? So that turns you on the whole night while you're thinking about it, right?

Oh, yeah. I had everything I could do tonight. She told me don't come, so I have everything I can do not to come. And you didn't. You listened, right? You're a chastity belt guy, right? Like, I mean, is it chastity? Is that correct to say?

Yes. Yeah, we haven't played with that in a long. We haven't played with it in a long time. But I mean, you like the tease in denial. That's a whole other episode we did, right? I mean, so you're somebody that could, because I think a lot of people would be like, yeah, like they would just jerk off or they can't understand how you could stop yourself, right? Considering you're so turned on. Yeah.

But there's something to that for you. You've learned how to master it. Yeah, it's like riding a, it's like a surfer riding a wave. You know, you never want to get off the wave. Yeah. So I just laid there, really turned on. I had to keep my underwear on, because I usually sleep naked, you know. Uh-huh.

And I was afraid that I was going to come all over the sheets while I was sleeping. Right. You know, I didn't want to mess them up, so I figured I'll just keep my underwear. Uh-huh. And, of course, I sent her a picture, but my heart on poking through the underwear, so she got a kick out of that. Right. It was a lot of fun.

But so what goes down? So does she tell you the minute it's over? I mean, like, do you get a, is it when she comes home? Does she call you? Well, she'll usually call me and say, you know, I'm on my way home. Yeah. Occasionally she'll text, you know, we had, I'll usually say, did you have a good time? And she says, yes, and I'll tell you about it when I get home. Yeah.

And then I've got to wait for her to get home before she tells me, which is also part of the anticipation. Yeah, yeah, I get it. It's more foreplay for you. So what happened in this situation? Did you text her? Did she text you? She texted me that she had a good night. She said he did me again before we left the hotel. room and she said, I'm hungry. I'm going to go get breakfast. So she found a McDonald's or someplace that was close by that she could get some takeout because at the time, I'm not sure that all the restaurants were completely open in September. Yeah. They started to be. Yeah. She found a quick place where she could get some takeout. She ate in the car. I know that.

And then she said she'll give me more details when she gets home. Right. So I had to wait now for three hours. And, of course, I had something to do that. afternoon so by the time I actually hooked up with it probably 435 o'clock the next day oh the next day well that morning I mean oh right right yeah yeah but she now do you like them I'm sure what adds to it is that she did him in the morning too so is she coming home like with his jizz inside of her like you know oh yeah yeah definitely as a matter of fact because I was out she you know she likes to put on a pair of panties where it keeps everything

inside you know she likes to smell them all day long yeah and so she had to make a stop on the way way down because you know she had after breakfast you know she had to go take care of business and so she wound up having to come home and take a shower and everything else so she was kind of disappointed that you know that everything by that time had been cleaned out but what do you mean she had to take care of business oh she had to go to the bathroom yes oh okay so she had to go to about them so she wipes some stuff away whatever and so right okay so she comes home to you yes and uh let's see what did we do after she came home uh well what did she tell you is what i want to know well they hooked up and of course he he uh told her he oh because she was mad at him for uh she

wasn't mad at him but yeah because she had to you know it was a rush job and then he was late getting to the hotel and everything. She said, I'm going to tell him, I'm sitting on his face. Right. He's usually the kind of take charge guy. So she's, you know, he told her that he would do anything for her if she would just drive up and be with him for the night. Yeah. And so she said, yes, I'm going to tell him, I'm going to sit on his face. And that's exactly what she did. She wound up sitting on his face. And he actually kind of liked it, I think. Yeah, that smothering thing. Yeah. I've come across some guys that I could tell we're into that. You know, or into that. You could kind of tell.

It's like a thing because there's, right? Yeah. Well, I know I love it. So, you know, I love it when a girl sits on my face. I think it's one of the hottest things that can be done. Right. So, but she was like forcing him. It was like his punishment.

Yes. It was his punishment for making her drop everything at the last minute, you know, with 10 minutes notice basically when you think about it. Because, you know, if he's, if she's got to drive three hours to see him and he's going to be, you know, and she's got an hour to get ready and go. That's basically last minute notice. That is really, I guess, the classic definition of a booty call, be ready when I am, you know.

Yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah. But it worked out for everybody, right? So she tells you that she, so she sits on his face. Yes. And then I know she likes sucking dick, so she wound up sucking his dick. Let's see, I think she came in her, as he always does. and she said he didn't last very long this time.

You know, he usually can pound away pretty good, but she had him so turned on. Just about as soon as he got inside, he was coming. And she tried to get him hard again during the course of the night, but he was kind of tired from this long day in his flight. So he kind of fell asleep, and she wound up falling asleep. And then the next morning he kind of rolled over and said something like, spread your legs.

Here I come. Right. Yeah. Yeah. So, and of course, getting, she holds back a lot of the details, I think, because it's part of the T's, you know. Yeah. So the rest of it, I get to imagine on my own. What about the toy did they use it?

She said, you know, I think she said they never did get around to it. Right. So, you know, because, you know, one thing led to another. A lot of times when he will call her, he'll say he's going to do X, Y, and Z. Yeah. And then he doesn't do X, Y, and Z. It's all part of a fantasy that gets blown in the first five minutes that they hook up. Right.

It's still part of his fantasy. Yeah, it's fine. It's still a lot of fun. Now, because she likes these big toys and stuff, I mean, does he also happen to be well-hung himself? You know, I've never seen him. I've seen her second guy, and he's got an enormous dick. And she says that one of them is probably a little bit bigger than the other, and they're both huge. Right.

Yes, they both. And he's always talking about his big eight-inch dick. This guy is. Now, how old is this guy, I forget? He's probably 10 years younger than we are, so he's probably in his late 50s, maybe, or early 60s, I guess. And is he married? I forget that, too.

Do you know? He is. He's married, yes. Right. And do you know if his wife knows? His wife does not know. Right, okay. We have no intention of telling her.

And this has been going on for 17 years. But he does the dumbest damn things. And it's like, how has he not been caught? Like he'll call her from his house with his wife downstairs and they'll do a phone bone session. No way. Yeah. And he's like, you've got to be really quiet. You've got to be really quiet.

And then he'll just jack off in front of her while she's playing with her pussy or something. But he's like on face. Like he's watching her. So it's not even just like on the, that's why he's saying to be quiet because it's not like he's just on the phone with her he's got her like on his video yeah absolutely and then a couple of weeks ago i guess she heard somebody she heard a female voice calling and all of a sudden the video went blank you know so i guess she called him later and said did you get busted yeah but yeah but don't you think a car like don't you think

he gets off on the fact that his wife is right downstairs like maybe that's a part of it don't you think it is and it's a part and i don't want to go into his profession but it's a part of his profession living on the edge so yes it's all oh you have me curious can you tell me off air what that means yeah i can't okay okay cool um so oh okay so he does yeah that's definitely he's doing that with his wife you know within ear shot and almost caw because it's that probably like you said it does add to it for him. Oh yeah. He likes living on the edge. There's no doubt about that. I mean,

he's actually fucked her driving down the street and she sat on his dick while he was driving his car down the street in Miami. Oh, my God. And I said, you should have taken a video. I wanted to see that, you know? Yeah. And has she ever taken pictures

or videos or do you like to see it or is it better to just imagine it for you? She has not taken any pictures with him. except one where he took, she had him take a picture with his hand on her thigh, which I actually asked for. Right. But, no, he's very private. He doesn't want any kind of anything to get out or, you know.

Oh, yeah, that's smart. Yeah, uh-huh, for sure. We respect his privacy. It could affect his career, not only his marriage. And we have no intention of screwing with his relationship or anything. He's going to do what he's going to do We figure he's a big boy He knows what he's doing

Right and he knows about you I mean she's not pretending That she's cheating or right He knows about me But to this day I don't think he really believes it Oh Right He might not

But that might he might like that Yeah And I think he In his mind I think he would rather think of the fantasy Of I don't know anything You know Yeah that he's taking your wife

Yeah I think he's He really, really gets off on that. And, you know, he'll come to the, to where we live. And, you know, of course, I won't be there. And he says he wants to fuck her up against my door. You know. So there's some, there's some definite alpha male shit going on there.

Yeah, for sure. But that's what I was going to ask you about with the whole cuckling thing. It's like, what's the, you know, someone asked me on Patreon, like, what is the psychology behind it? And I started to do like a deep dive on Google. And like my brain started to hurt, you know, it was like looking at all the different. And I was going to like psychology today, you know, articles, you know. And I looked at a couple different articles written about it. And they gave a couple different explanations.

But what is somebody like you who really has this as a fetish who really enjoys it? You know, your wife does too. What do you think is the psychology behind it? For me, the psychology behind it is just having. knowing that my wife's enjoying sex. Yeah. And that there's, that, that, that she's not afraid to have another man involved because, you know, there's not a human being that does not look at another human being and say,

that person's sexy or attractive. Right. And, you know, so why suppress all this stuff? I mean, to me, there's no, there's no humiliation. There's no embarrassment. There's no, uh, what I read on the internet, I think is, even from, psychologist, I think they don't even understand it. Right. Well, that's what I mean. My brain turned hurt because it was like they were talking about, oh, it's like masochistic and the person that

likes that to happen is a masochist, right, because they're being hurt by that. But I was like, maybe, I mean, because I talk to a lot of people who have this fetish and do it within their relationship. And a lot of times there isn't the humiliation aspect going, right? though some people I think think if there isn't the humiliation it's not cuckolding but I I find and I talk to a lot of people like you who actually do enjoy seeing their partner with somebody else and oh I do yeah yeah I mean I that was one of my the biggest surprises to me when I started my show is the fact that a lot of men feel that way and I've had a lot of men on my show who told me they never thought they would like it but it sort of happened and then they did right

and then there was another there was one of the websites they talked to about how if someone was cheated on and they sexualize that experience somehow, you know, they get wired that way to enjoy, you know, that kind of scenario again. It becomes something hot to them, you know, I mean, you and your wife, like, both. Like, do you, is she just, because she likes it too, right? She likes to hear about you with other women? You know, not particularly. Right.

And I'm very rarely ever with another woman. So, I mean, if she said, look, I don't want you to see any other women, I would be perfectly okay with that. Right. It's, you know, as a matter of fact, if for some reason she and I were ever not together again and I ever hooked up with another woman, she would have to be able to be okay to have sex with other men. Right. It's just something that I really enjoyed something that I, it's almost like a drug. I just really kind of need it.

But there's no embarrassment. There's no humiliation. and there's, you know, I wish I could tell more people, you know, because they look at you like a dog staring at a clock when you, you know, if you tell them. Yeah. And sometimes I'll tell people, oh, yeah, where's your wife? Well, she's out with her boyfriend and they just left. And I'm actually dead serious. And they don't even believe me, you know.

Right. They think you're full of shit. Right. It does sound like a joke. Yeah. Because who would actually say that? Yeah. And it's like, you know, I've got a friend of mine that lives in another state.

As a matter of fact, he's been on your show. He actually told me about it. And we have discussions about this all the time. And he and I are both of the like same mind. We don't like this internet pornography stuff that you see because it's so unrealistic. And it's just, you know, I can't explain it. And it's something I think has been with me in my entire life. And I've evolved to understand over the course of the years.

I was never jealous if I had a girlfriend and she was flirting with another guy. You know, it was just, I don't have a jealous bone on my body. Yeah, that's interesting. And I do think that it tends, I mean, you know, you're the type of guy that you allow her to go, but it's not like you're dying, like you said, to be with other women. You wouldn't even care if you didn't. It's funny. There's a show called 90-day fiancé, and there's, I love that show.

I like any kind of reality TV. There's a couple on there whose girl is like very by, you know, and she likes to bring other women in. and she caught him and then they brought another woman in and he started to really like that other girl and it was freaking her out you know so she was like I don't want to do this anymore and then she caught him with the other girl like texting behind her back and she and I was like you know this it never works when I talk to couples who are very successful about having open relationships I typically find the most successful couples to be where the guy is the antithesis of the type of guy you

you would think is down with that. Do you know what I mean? It's not like the player mentality guy. Like I think I'm sure there's plenty of guys who are major players that want to fuck tons of women that would love to have an open relationship. But I think that it tends to work and what I see with in relationships with people who are not that way. I'm monogamous by nature, right?

But maybe they're into these kinky things. But they're really honest and upfront. And that's the way that it works. and I think that that is the opposite of what most people would think. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, and I agree with you on that. I think that, you know, I think if most people knew me, and that's what I dislike about this cuckold definition of internet porn and everything,

is they think that men that allow their wives, and I don't allow her to do anything. She does it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. To have sex with other men are wimpy. If you knew me and saw me, you would know that I am no whim. Oh, right, right. It's not about that.

Yeah. So it's, I'm the exact antithesis of that. I just enjoy. And it's not a tit for tat either. It's not like, oh, you get to have other sex with other people. So I'm going to do it now too. I mean, it's not, it's not about that, right? No, and it never was for me. Yeah. And I think that, you know, a lot of guys will tell their wives, oh, yeah, I want you to have sex with another man because they really want to have sex with another woman. Right. But there's there are those of us that just like if you said, yeah, I'll do that, but I'd appreciate if you didn't have sex with any other, well, I would be down with that. That would be perfectly okay with me. Right. You know, and, you know, I think that women that have sex with multiple guys, I think they're the hottest women on the face of the area. Mm-hmm. You know, as long as they know why they're doing it and, you know, they're having a good time and, you know, they're down with it. They want to have physical fun.

Hey, you know, it's no sweat off my nose. There's no such thing as is a slut in the bad term of the word slut, you know? Right, right. No, listen, guys would be so jealous. I mean, you should listen. People should listen to all your other episodes because, like I said, in the beginning of this episode, when you brought up the shaving thing that you do, that was like every time I talk to, you, there's a thing new that comes out, right?

We did a whole episode about tease and denial because you're into that. You know, you have this whole, I'm going to use the word cuckold. situation going on with your wife, you know, and there's just always something new that comes out when we talk and like if people want to hear more about this stuff, they should go listen to your other things. You know, I always feel like, you know, we could probably, I could probably talk to you for another half hour, you know, just about this kind of stuff, because it is so interesting. You know, that's when somebody asked me that question about the cuckolding thing, I was like, I'm going to ask you because I know that's what you have. Even though the

humiliation isn't there, I still think it's like a cuckolding. situation, isn't it? Or no? Or is it not? Do you hate that word because... No, I don't mind the word cuckold. I don't like the word cuckled. Isn't that funny? Yeah, interesting. You know, because I feel, you know, the typical or the old-fashioned definition of cuckled was a man whose wife had sex with other men and he couldn't control it. Right. You know, so under the strict definition of the word, no, I'm not a cuckold, but I like to use the word because that's what That's what most people consider it today.

And, you know, I'm very proud to be a couple. And I don't mind that terminology. And, you know, one time we were having a girlfriend of hers over for dinner. She's one of the few people that actually know. And I think the guy that she was with that I just told you about, I think he texted or something. And she said, oh, who's that? And my wife just looked over and said, that's the guy I cuckold him with.

and, you know, and her girlfriend kind of looked over at me, and I felt very pleased that she actually used that term in front of me. Right. And she knew that my wife was seeing another guy. I just don't think she believed that I knew. Right, right, right. Just like that other guy, like you said, you think to this day, it's like too good to be true. There's no way.

But there is something submissive about that, right? Because you also like the tease in denial. You like her to be with other men, right? I mean, do you consider yourself submissive? Yeah, in a lot of ways I do. Yeah. You know, it's all part of giving up the normal part of my life is I'm in control and charge of everything. Yeah.

Yeah. So it's a good way to not be in control of everything, and I actually like it. It's fun. But guys that haven't been kept on the edge for a long time don't know how erotic it can be. It is just absolutely erotic. The T's and to not. Yes, people, I really recommend it. I played that game.

We talked about it. You know, I understand it. Because I've come upon that with guys in my life when I was having sex. And I totally agree. And people, we have a whole episode up where we talk about that. And people should go listen to it because you should try it. I called it the halfway in game. You call it tease a denial.

That's how it started for me. And then I realized that. And over the years, I've like, I don't. know I've gotten into situations where I'd be like oh I'm pulling around with someone but we're not supposed to do something do it so I say no and we put parameters and boundaries around it but there's somehow that adds to it and it's hot like I talked about it before one of my episodes where it was one guy that I was so horny for he was really horny for me but we were like in a very dysfunctional relationship so we decided like I'm like I'm not going to have sex with you and like one night

we literally all our clothes on we weren't even allowed to make out but we just like dry Humpton, moved your body, and let me tell you, like, the fucking hottest thing ever. Like, you could turn that into, if you really get into it and go there and, you know, it's, like, really super hot because, like, anyone could fuck, right? So what do you do after that? There's, like, all these other things, and I totally am into tease and denial. It really works. I think anyone would be into it if they tried it and took that time, right, to do it, don't you think?

Oh, absolutely. It's, I think, I think if girls really understood how much power and fun it really was, they would, they'd all be into it. And in a lot of ways, they are. I mean, otherwise, if girls weren't into teasing down, there wouldn't be any strip clubs. Yeah, exactly. It's a part of it, right. And if guys weren't into it, they wouldn't be sticking dollar bills in a girl's garter to sit there and tease them and get more hard off. So they go home and whack off, you know?

Right, because the girls, we're always saying, like, what's the point? Like, so that seems like torture, right? But there is something to that. It's like, it is. Yeah. And it could be the appetizer, but it could be the whole fucking course if you really do it the right way. Like I've done it and that's it. It didn't lead, you know, and it was just like the hottest thing.

Yeah. Well, you know, one time, there's nothing hotter. I had a chastity device on one time and I couldn't get out of the damn thing. Yeah. And I'm sitting next to this really, really hot smoking blue. And it was just something about knowing that even if she wanted to fund me, I couldn't do it right now. Right. I'm getting hard on in this damn thing, and it's like it was one of the most erotic nights I ever had.

And, of course, she doesn't even know what's going on. But just the idea that, you know, that I'm sitting next to this really hot chick. And we're flirting, but I can't do anything about it. Right. That was really hot. So, yeah, I like that. Yeah, people should listen because we really get into it on that episode, and you really talk about how to do it, you know.

that's an interesting one. The last one where you get a really like all the back story about, you know, how you and your wife opened up your relationship, how she met that guy. I mean, there's a lot more details on that. This was just the where are they now? What are you doing? You know, my cuckling, I always put the word in because it just gets so many more views like for some reason. But like people, so many people must be into this fetish. I think a lot of people haven't lived it out, right, yet. but they want to because these kind of episodes are just highly downloaded and very popular. I hear it's the biggest trending term for porn searches on the internet. Yeah, I throw it in my descriptions and people come on.

It's not like I'm beating and switching. I mean, this is what it is and people love the episode, you know. It's not like I just put it in there and then we're talking about something totally else. I think this is considered cuckolding. A lot of people like it. I think a lot of people when they listen to you are super jealous and wish they were due because you have like the ideal situation. And you know, you're older. You're not in the young.

I think the younger generation I say this all the time are much more open to things like this and they're more up front about things that they're into. I mean, you guys were doing this and getting into it when it was way more taboo and when nobody was. So you're like very forward-thinking people. Yeah, I think so. I think we were ahead of your time. You had a bit time. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, but that's great.

So thank you so much for calling in and giving the update. Sometime this year we'll, you know, think of another subject that, because like I said, you always throw things out. You know, we'll have you back on and talk about something else. You know, I always. Well, before I go, I got one thing to tell you. Yeah. Just before I came down here, where text went off.

And? And he says, can you pick me up at this airport tomorrow morning? and take me to this other airport. And, of course, they're going to stop by the house. So also they're doing a part two. So wait, so she's picking him up. They're coming home. Where are you going?

Do you leave the house or you'll be working? Well, no. I have an exercise regime that I do at that time of the morning, so I will be there. And then it depends upon how long he stays there before she takes him to the other airport. Right. Before I actually wind up being allowed to come back.

the house. Oh my God. So you have something to look forward to him. When's that happening? Well, there's a 95% chance that it's going to happen tomorrow. He was trying to make the arrangements. Right. To have it happen. So, oh my God. We think that it's going to happen. And it, it's just funny that all of a sudden the day that I'm supposed to do this call, it happens. Yeah. Does she ever listen to your episodes? Does she know that you call in? She listened to one. Right. And she does know that I call in. Yeah. And, But she, most of the time she's not there because she wants, she wants me to not be able to, be able to say whatever I want to say. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.

You know, so it's, and that's why I like her to be by herself because then she's not going to be inhibited thinking that, you know, I'm going to get upset about something. Right, and she does whatever. And there's no rules or regulations, right, or boundaries. The only rule is, have fun. Yeah. You know, you say, have fun. have fun yeah that's awesome so you're so it's supposed to happen tomorrow yeah yeah all right well let me know because i'll put it on the intro like let me know how it goes send me an email i'm gonna okay i'm gonna

give a little update right i'm just gonna like and just say what happened um for sure because people will want to know how how long do they typically hook up for like two hours through one hour? Depends upon what his schedule is like. I mean, she's stayed overnight with him on several occasions. Right. And she's been with him for as little as a half an hour. So from a half an hour to

24 hours, I guess is the best way to say. Right. Oh my God. Awesome. You're a lucky guy. Do me a favor and please don't forget to email me what he does for a living. Can you please? I will do that. All right. Awesome. You're the best. Thanks so much for calling in. Thank you, Kathy.

I enjoyed it. Keep me post of what happens tomorrow. I will. Bye-bye. Hey, Jay. Welcome back to the Strictly Anonymous podcast. How are you today? I'm good. Thank you. You know, I love to do my Where Are They Now is in December, right? And I just aired somebody else that called in a couple years ago, right? And now you're another person that I haven't talked to in a couple of years. I remember you really well because you were one of my favorite calls.

I love when I get on the phone with somebody and it goes in a totally different direction than I thought, right? And for your episode, you called in and you wrote in and you were like fucking hookers and guys, you were catfishing people, you were living a 100% double life, right? You used the word sex addict and we talked a lot about that, right? It went from all these like sort of kinky stories of stuff that you were doing

and it turned into kind of like a therapy session. I felt for you, I felt like you were definitely an addict. Like I said, you use that word first. I think people should really go back and listen to your first episode if they haven't heard it. That was in 2017 that we spoke. Was that three years ago? Do you remember?

It was, yeah. August, three years ago. Yeah. And I felt really connected to you. I'm an addict. I quit stuff. You were doing things that you felt really bad about. That's always a warning sign to me, like, because change is going to happen.

And if you don't sort of take control of it, then it might happen. happen in a terrible way. Do you know what I'm saying? Like I always tell people it's like the person who walks around complaining about their job all the time and then they get fired. It's like well you kind of brought that on right um because like on some level you weren't happy so you know things will happen and I know and this is not something I ever talked about on my show but I'll bring it up now because we're going to get the update I know that after we spoke and correct me if I'm wrong um I followed up with you we did email afterwards I told you that I had taken and your advice and inter-counseling.

And then you actually also, you connected me with another guy who had been on your show probably two or three weeks after me. Uh-huh. Maybe he was the one that got arrested. Yeah, go on. Oh, yeah. So he was a guy who I think that he and his wife had an open marriage, but he was hooking up with guys behind her back.

Uh-huh. And I think the story I remember was just when he was in the military, like he was talking about like an orgy in the shower with the other guys. Oh, my God. Yeah, and you had, I think you had connected us because you thought he should go into counseling too, and I'd already told you that I had. And so he and I talked on the phone.

Right, so that you could really help him, right? Yeah. Yeah, you were, but when I spoke with you, you weren't. I mean, how long after we spoke did you go and seek help? And what was the catalyst for that and what was going on that made you take that step? because I think it's important for other people to hear who are maybe like, you know, a couple steps behind you and living the life that you lived. Like I said, people should go listen to your episode. It's called Jay is a total sex addict.

It's fascinating. You were really upfront about everything. And I think the one thing that stuck out to me was that you didn't feel good about what you were doing. So I feel like if there's, and there's got to be a lot of other people out there in the same position. Listen to that episode. And then you're going to hear where he is now, right? and this is when people come full circle that I love, you know, this kind of story. So what, so take, like, let's start right after, like, we spoke and then get up to speed.

Yeah, yeah. So, I mean, like, 10 minutes into our, our call the first time you had, you had me nailed down and you spent the rest of the time telling me how fucked up I was and I needed to get counseling. I'm sorry. Oh, no. Yeah. It was helpful. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tell me that.

Yeah, so I wasn't in counseling then, and I don't know if you remember, I was pretty resistant to the idea. I probably, so I, at the time we talked. But I'm just going to tell you right now, and we'll get right, I don't want to ensure it, but I want to, what I remember why you were resistant,

and because I think that this is the reason why a lot of people are resistant, is because you had created like a persona of a really quote unquote normal person, right? You were like holding it together, like on the surface. You were like fucking fine, right? But deep down inside, you were a total mess. So you felt like, oh, if you decide to go to therapy,

your wife's going to be like, what's wrong with you? You know, and everyone would look at you like, what the fuck's wrong? And I think that's a block for a lot of people, right? Like how do I give it up? How do I let people know, hey, I'm vulnerable and might need help? and maybe there's, I'm not so quote unquote perfect, right? Yes. Yeah, that's right.

Yeah. I mean, I think it was like preserving, trying to hold on to me being normal for myself, maybe even more than for other people. Right. Right. Of course. Yeah, right. Oh, that's always going to come back to like that's really more how you feel about yourself.

You might say I don't want other people to think that, but it's really what you would think. And I think normal, it should be put in quotes because what I think people, are more normal who are flawed. Like that's more normal. That's like what life's about. You know, that's the human experience. You know, anyone that acts as if they're so perfect.

Like something's got to be going on there, right? That's what I always think. So anyway. Yeah, so go on. Yeah. So when we talked, so you had brought up counseling, I was resistant to that. What I said, I've actually listened to the episode twice in the last few days. Yeah.

I said that I was kind of. that I'm in the mental health industry. So what I meant by that was that I was like two weeks away from starting a master's program in counseling when I talked to you. Yeah. Just changing my career. And so. That's not that uncommon.

Yeah. And so I started, I mean, you asked me at the end, if I would. I said, yes, I would. And then I sought out a counselor immediately and started within a week or two after we talked. And then I started my counseling program as well. Yeah, pretty much immediately. Yeah. Were you lucky enough to find, like, the one therapist?

No. That was great right away because I always tell people it's really hard to find that one, but you have to keep trying because what happens, I think, also with a lot of people, is they go out to find a therapist. The first one they meet, they go a couple times. That person sucks, right? And then they get turned off to therapy. Like, you know, you have to find the right one.

And you'll know that right one. I always say it's kind of like a boyfriend. Like you just know immediately, you know. Whereas you also know that it's not right immediately too, you know, and don't stay with that person. Do the work until you find the right person because it might take a little time, but it's worth it. And that's why I just bring it up.

I think a lot of people have tried it. They had a bad therapist and then they think that's what therapy is and it was a waste of their time, you know? So you didn't find the right one immediately? No, I went through four in a couple months and then I found one that I've been with for three years. Right. And was it a male or a female? She's a woman. Yeah, it's a woman.

Yeah. Yeah, the first four that I had, the three of them were just terrible. The other one wasn't a good fit for me. I don't think she's a terrible therapist, but the other three were horrible. Right. They're just not good therapists. Yeah, and I think it's like anything. I'm sorry, I used to say it's the 80-20 rule.

I think now it's like 90-10. I think 90% of people in any profession aren't that great. And then you have the 10% that are like superstars, you know, like the real deals. You know, whether it's a doctor or a hairdresser or a colorist or a therapist, you know. There's a lot of people out there that are just okay. and there's a lot of people that are fucking great. And like I don't stop until I get the fucking great ones. Like I always have the best recommendations for people because I find the best of everything.

Because, you know, I keep looking until I get it. And like I said, I think you know the right, you know that person when you meet them because they are very different right than all those other ones. So you've been with your therapist for a couple of years now. So how is that process? Let's see here. So, I mean, two of the therapists that I had pretty much fired me. And so I was pretty hurt when I first saw her. And I kind of came in and it was like, these therapists did all this shit.

I was kind of putting her on notice. Blaming everybody else? Well, why did they fire you? Yeah. I can tell you that. I mean, these stories are fucking ridiculous, too. So, like, the first one, the first person I saw him was he was very old, which I actually saw it out, an older man, I thought, you know, wisdom and whatnot.

Yeah. But he, I told him, I'm a sex addict, and he decided that what I meant by that was the problem was I was wearing out my dick from masturbating too much, which. And he said that. And then I also said something about pot. And he was like, oh, I've been smoking pot for 40 years. Oh, good. Right.

Yeah. So he lasted one. Mm-hmm. And then I went to, so I let it, you know, I didn't go back to him. Then the second one that I went to was a referral from a friend. And I thought he was pretty good, like the first three sessions. But he had lots of religious stuff on his. for him. And so that kind of made me wonder at the beginning. And then probably our third or

fourth session, he was, he was very much, like he specialized in sex addiction and he had a very specific route that he expected you go to, get involved in groups and all these things. Oh, right, right, right. So I was resistant to that. And he brought up something. I'm not going to say what it was, because that's told this story to people before. He brought up something. He brought up something and I disagreed with him. And he said, oh, well, if you're not being able to board, this isn't going to work. And he, like, this was halfway through the section. Mm-hmm.

And he said, and he ended the session halfway through. And so I was like, what? What the fuck? Yeah, I'd be like, do I get half my money back? Right. So, yeah, so I bounced. And then I went to a woman who I think's a good therapist, but I think that I think that I was triggering for her.

Like, I don't think that she could, she was very, like, feminist. Oh, right. So all your stuff that you were doing. Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah, yeah, that's fine. And she, so she wanted me, like, you know,

she was working with me on, um, seeing my misogyny and whatnot. I was like, I don't, I mean, now I realize I didn't need somebody else to, um, help me feel any more shame than when I, already had. Right. You were there because you were, you knew what you were doing was wrong. You wanted to change it. Like you didn't, you were doing probably enough shaming into yourself.

Yeah. That's plenty. Yeah. That's not, that's not cool. Yeah. So she, she let me go after like six or seven sessions because she was like, I don't think that I'm the right fit for you. And she was right. And if I was pretty devastating when she let me go then. Yeah, it's a lot of rejection. Yeah. And then the next woman I went to, I saw probably, like three times and she was just like really new agey and told the shit that I don't believe it and so whatever I but now when you found this one right were you still actively sleeping with all the people that you were let's remind people like what the fuck you were doing sure yeah so prostitutes sex workers um um um um like escort strippers um and then the other thing i was doing was just

getting on on like fat life and meeting people chatting all the time that was like that was my biggest thing um and no i haven't um so i i told you the story about the stripper who i kind of like you're obsessed with yeah yeah got infatuated with probably a month before we talked uh-huh that's the last person i've had in contact with in the last three and a half years so did you stop right like right after we spoke? I mean, you just never started. Stopped with all the in-person stuff. I did go to, that's not true.

I did go to a strip croak, like a year later. And I fully intended to try and sleep with a stripper. And I tried. Then we got to, like, day, day and night. Then the woman was like, it became obvious. She was expecting to get paid. And so. And you didn't want to pay up?

No, I don't. work day. And so, yeah, I haven't had any contact with any women. But let me, was that the last time you... Right, but was that also the last time that you had the desire to stray? You know, because like you said, you went fully intended to do something. Do you know why? Do you know why were you under a lot of stress? Like, why at that point a year later did you feel like, oh, I got to go scratch this inch? Yeah, at that time? I can't remember

exact, I don't remember what the circumstances were around that now. I mean, my wife was traveling, so there was like opportunity. Yeah. I don't remember other than that. Right. The like online stuff it still happens from time to time, but much, much, much less frequently than it did before. I mean, the most dramatic change in my behavior happened from talking to you. Right. Just that. everything dropped off completely. And why do you think? Do you think it was because it was the first time that you were really like opening up? Do you think I was mirroring back and saying the things to you that you needed to hear?

Yeah, I mean, I looked through, like I said, I listened to the episode twice. And everything you said was like right on. And things that I've kind of, like I thought they were realizations that I'd come to over the last three and a half years. I was like, oh, Kathy, like said this. The first time she met me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I mean, like, everything you said was right on.

I don't really, like, I don't call myself a sex addict, but that's just semantics and just, like, the way that I view it. I don't have any problem with me being called that. But that's just not the way I view it. Right. I think I only really brought that up because it was, like, you went, I remember when you sent me your email, there was, like, all these list of bullets of all these, like,

crazy things you did. And at the end, it was, like, like, I think I might be a sex addict. So I was like, you know, I sort of sniff people out when I'm talking to them, right? I just, I, like, I get on most of the time with the total stranger. I don't really like to know anything of, you know, of the person. And I just go with it when I speak to them. But I look for opportunities and I look for different directions to go and depending on what

someone's saying to me. Do you know what I mean? To me, you put in a little bullet on the bottom. So that I'm a sex addict, you know, I'm going to try and get in there because addiction and all that kind of stuff is my favorite stuff to talk about because I could really relate. I've been there, done that, you know? And so there was, like I said, that clue, it was like a clue, you know, to something inside of you.

I do believe when people call me, somebody like you, you know, or people that are really living a double life, whatever it is, even some people that don't feel bad and need therapy, but like that are ready to change, like, that's the part of you that calls me. You know, it's not so much me that's creating the change. It's like you were ready for it. And you would have never called into my show, right, if you weren't at that place. Sure. Right?

You were already there. I just, you know, kicked you along. But that's what you wanted, you know, and you found the right way to get it. I do believe this is all, all of this stuff is, you know, you're doing, right? Mm-hmm. And, like, that's why I said, do you feel like I was just mirroring back to you what you already knew on some level or what you were ready for? Yeah. I think so.

Yeah, I mean, you asked me early in the conversation, you were like, do you feel bad? I think about cheating. It's like, do you feel bad about that? And I said, yeah, I feel horrible about it. I've never felt good about any of this. Yeah, that's always a big clue to me. That's something I always ask people. And I've said this a million times before.

I think that everybody makes up their own rules and regulations, right? Everyone has their own morals. They view things differently. You know, it depends on, like, how evolved you are. where you're at and your fucking growth, you know, of what's right and wrong for you. Someone could be cheating all their life and then all of a sudden doesn't feel right. Well, the minute something doesn't feel right, I think you shouldn't be doing it. That's like a sign, you know?

So whenever somebody tells me that, you know, I go into that because that's a fucking problem. That means there's a conflict you have, right, within yourself. And that's a warning. And this, I always tell people, like, if you're doing something that's like really fucking bad and you don't feel right about it, if you don't change it, you know, that change may come and happen for you, you know, for you. And so you could either walk out of that part of your life with your head up high and make those changes yourself or you could, you know, walk out extra shame. Like the person that gets caught cheating, you know, the person that gets busted. You know, you don't want that to happen.

And that never happened to you, right? I'm assuming, I don't know. No, you know, it hasn't. And you were doing a lot of things behind your wife's back. Like you, right? I mean, you could have been in a lot of fucking trouble. Yeah. I could have.

Yeah. Right. But I think that you did at the right point, like you decided to get out and change your life and save your marriage. Because what happens to a lot of people is they don't eat that warning. They keep doing it. They don't feel right. They get caught because on some level they want their life to change, right? And so then it does.

And they probably, you know, but they have to, there's a lot of collateral damage, right? You didn't have that. And I know that you were, you know, you're. wife you felt like was kind of suspicious or might have new stuff and I know that a big part of it was like you didn't want to go to therapy because like how would you explain it to your wife right yeah and I remember were you like a workaholic or I was like kind of like pawned on that or like you don't have to tell her what it's about right just say you want to go to fucking therapy like did she ask questions was that a big problem for you to get over it was not a big deal at all exactly

see yeah whatever I told her no it was it was nothing nothing Yeah. A big nothing burger. And right, that's what people don't understand. And that's why I ask these questions because, you know, I think other people, you know, they, they create these blocks that don't necessarily exist, you know, just like fucking do it. And I didn't feel like it would be a problem. I think it's more weird that someone's never been in therapy their whole life, you know, for anything, you know? Yeah.

Like, come on. We all need it maybe at one point or another. You definitely needed it, right? and your wife was totally cool. Did you go one time a week? Have you been going one time a week? I did for a long time, and then I cut back, and I'm back to one time a week now.

But yeah. And now, yeah, go on. You guys just to say, yeah, when we talked, that was the lowest point of my life at that point. You know, not just, I mean, the stuff that was doing and was related to other things that were going on in my life as well. Like what? So I had left a really good job,

and I had basically talked some people that I knew into making me a part owner of their business. And then I had not performed at all. And I just felt so horrible about doing this. I felt like I was laying everyone down there, my wife, myself. And then just like existential questions, right? Like about what the fuck am I doing was my life? Yeah, how old were you at the time?

I was in 41. Right. I think everyone has like really big turning points in their life at all different times, right? So this was a very big life change for you at that age. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah.

And then, yeah, you asked her earlier, I think we straight away from it about my current counselor, like what, what worked with her. I mean, she's just been, like, completely accepting, unconditional positive regard, is the therapy term for it. She's been completely accepting of me the whole time, but she's also, you know, challenged me. when she saw discrepancies between what I want and my behavior. Like inconsistencies and what I'm saying and the way I'm acting. She puts you in check. Now, were you very honest when you had that one time that you went to the strip club and you had every intention?

Like, did you bring that back to her and talk about it? Yeah. Yeah, the next week. I think right after I did. Right. There have been times that have helped back a little bit. If I've done something I didn't want to be doing, maybe for a little while,

but there's never been anything that I've kept from her. Actually, I never have told her that the women that I've slept with are prostitutes. Really? No. I was actually thinking about that. Maybe that's something I should tell her. Yeah, why do you think you didn't?

Do you think it was because the one before you was so damning about it that you thought maybe just keep that shit out or do you have you yeah i don't know i'm told a lot bad shit i'm pretty feel pretty bad about right um yeah i don't know maybe it's just like i you know it's been three and a half years and i'm like i'm not something i'm concerned about me anymore like i'm not yeah i don't think it matters you told her that you were with all these women right you told her you were doing all this cheating does it matter whether you're paying or not. Maybe at the time it would have been something, I don't know, but it's like, listen, you've been successful at, you know, correcting your behavior. You've been monogamous for so many years.

You know, you don't see these women, whether you're paying or not paying. You're not fucking other women. You did sleep with men, right? Were you sleeping with men? No. You were just like hooking up with them online? Was that the long time? Yeah. Yeah, we chat was, I'm pretending like I was a couple or a woman. Right. And that's still something that I do from time to time whenever I'm not doing a good job of being aware of my emotions, which is a difficult skill to learn whenever you've avoided your emotions your whole life. Yeah, right. And so, you know, it's been a progressive thing.

At this point, you know, it's less frequent and less involved than it's. ever has been. So it keeps on getting better and better. Yeah, listen, I'm, I quit drinking when I was 34 and 51. So what, how many, that's 17 years now, right? And I have to say that even now, like, you just see so much growth over time, right? And you're like, what, three or four years into like, you know, quitting your addiction, right? It's like going sober, right?

It's no different than the alcoholic. You put down whatever it was that you were checking out from, you know, or using to get out of reality. And so you grow from there from that point, you know? And five years from now, you'll be 10,000 times better than you are now, right? I mean, it just keeps, you just keep getting better over time. And it takes a while, but it really does make a huge difference. To me, I always say, like, quitting alcohol.

I've quit a lot of things and I've done a lot of, I've had a lot of changes in my life. but nothing changed me more than that, right? It was like, I always said it was like going from being in a totally dark room to like all the lights turning on, right? You know? But it happens over time. But it was, it is very powerful. And you do have to keep yourself in check because it takes a while to learn. Because really what I think addiction is all about and what most addicts are dealing with is like we just have a problem dealing with our intense feelings, which are negative, right?

I mean, we don't mind feeling fucking happy, right? That's why whatever we're doing that we're addicted to makes us fucking feel good, right? But it's the stuff that makes us feel slightly bad is like very triggering. Like you have to get away from a bad feeling. And then what I always explain happened to me is like I just learn to sit through it and realize it's just a feeling. And, you know, it's easy to say, right? That's just a sentence. But it took a long time, right?

It takes a long time to get used to feeling not right. But then you start to see like, oh, I don't feel bad. you realize it lasts for a day maybe or two days and you don't act out and you don't sabotage and you don't create other issues anywhere else like you just move on right and it's okay and it just breezes over right it's like a storm and it comes and goes and you could sort of look at it as something you know it's just a feeling that you could step out of instead of live in it and you know make it bigger than it is and then sabotage and all the other stuff and that's what addicts do right and that's what you're not doing anymore but you know you're still but you're still going to feel

fucking bad, right? It's not like, oh, you quit shit and you work on yourself and you get to a place where there's no top of the mountain where someone's happy all the time. Like, that's not what it's about. It's about the top of the mountain or being at peace or being whole is about being able to weather all the stuff that comes with life. Life is happy, sad, great, bad. It's all of that stuff, right? It's a matter of being okay with that stuff and being able to ride those storms regardless, you know, and with your feet on the ground, right? And that's where you're at. I'm assuming. And that's only going to get stronger and better for you. Yeah. Yeah. Everything you just said is what is the way I, yeah, that's the way I look at it now too. Right. And now how has things change with your wife?

You're still married to her, I'm assuming? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, things are much better, right? So, I mean, when I started, I looked at, like, that was the problem. What I was doing was the problem. Yeah. And then I realized.

And there's a bunch of other problems that I'm using this to... Cover. Distract from. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Mainly relationship problems, not just with her, but with lots of people. I always thought that I had pretty good relationships with people, but now they're much better. Right, because you were able to identify. What were the kinds of problems that you were having that you didn't even realize?

Um, like, let's see here. I just not being, not being open and vulnerable with people. I mean, I didn't realize that I was kind of a bully. Not like the kind that yells at people or is violent or anything like that. But I could be pretty intense and I have the ability to get anyone. to shut the fuck up without saying much at all.

And so that's what I've, that's what I've done throughout my marriage with my immediate family with everyone. And now like, I don't remember ever, I don't remember if I asked this question or, you know, because here you were, you know,

you were married and you're having all this SEX with all these other people, right? What was your sex life with your wife like then and has it changed now that you took all those other people out of the picture and it's just you and her intimate you know really intimate now it's very different sure yeah um i mean it was okay before the frequency really hasn't changed you know we we just keep getting older yeah um um but it's better i mean that was that was the other problem was that i had a lot of anxiety and shame around sex which I was also not aware of.

Like I would have thought that I was pretty open-minded and didn't at the time. But there's anxiety about sex with my wife. Yeah. In what sense? It's hard to pin down. Yeah, not like performance. Yeah. There's never any performance.

performance issues. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like I've been aware of this before, but it's not coming up to me right now. That's okay. You can't put it into words.

Like, you know that it was there, but you can't really, like, was it just being intimate? Was it about being like, I don't know. Like,

so how has it changed, though, now that you're with her? It's just more like, it's more worrying about was she, like negotiating negotiating sex not in the terms of

like bargaining for it or anything but just like negotiating how we are going to do it so it's a pretty egalitarian relationship and yeah that was just awkward like figuring out how to talk about it

how to what we both wanted to do and so we've become much more open and we incorporate like some of the fantasies that I've had that it turns out she was all feeling too. How awesome is that? Yeah, it's a long and difficult process to do that. And did your therapist help you that? Was that like, and so what do you think was the biggest takeaway from that?

Was it like if you're so, because I always think other people are listening, right, and learning from what you're saying, right? So how, and there's so many people, whether it's women or men out there, that have maybe secret desires, right? And I think after you've been with someone for so long, I mean, some people would think, oh, because you know them for so long, it's so easy to tell them what you're into.

But I think if you haven't from the get-go, right, how do you say 10 years into it? Oh, by the way, I'm really fucking into this. It's almost harder, right, than to put it all out there with someone totally new. So how did you start to bring up your fantasies and what you were into and figure out that she was into them as well? I kept on asking her and insisting that she can leave at her face and she's far first.

Okay. Before I would open up because I was scared of her rejecting me. And like that was difficult for her to do. And so those were just like difficult talk that we kept on having until they became easier. And until we were both willing to be more vulnerable and talk about what we what we wanted what we wanted and so what were like some of the first things that she told you that she was interested in that she put out there um let's see here yeah so like the main thing it turns out for both of us is like her being with two men right which isn't something we do that's it's fantasy

right it's not something we'd go do something we talk about yeah yeah yeah i got that uh-huh Yeah, so that turned out Something we're both Interested in Right, and so you guys mock that up Right? Like you fantasize about that while you're with each other And it winds up being hot for the both of you

Yeah, and then the other thing that's more recent Is just being me being more dominant And not in Basically just me taking control In the bedroom telling her what to do and not with any of the you know not here like the BDSM stuff

yeah yeah just just me being the one and just as doing like the normal stuff that we would do anyways yeah but me being the one that counts her so that there's less of that negotiation right so that's what the anxiety before was that you were worried she wasn't going to go the places you wanted to go now you just like

fucking tell her Yeah, right. Yeah, which probably for a lot of other people is just natural, right? But probably for, and people would be like, how hard is that, right? But that's not what you guys, that's not how it was with you guys. You were like pussy pudding around certain things, right? And I think more of communication about sex probably helped that, right? There was a lot of things.

I'm sure there's a lot of couples out there that have that same, or a lot of men out there that have that same anxiety. And I think it is, it does have to do with keeping a lot of the stuff that you're like, quote unquote secretly into right sort of in another place because of the fear of being rejected for her too right i mean like i think a lot of women because of the stigmas that are attached to women being quote unquote promiscuous or slutty you know are pretty afraid to really put all their stuff out there i can't tell you when i have like women callers and like i had a woman call her on recently jessica and you should have seen some of the and she had like a bucket list of all these things sexually she wanted to do she was like a young girl

that just got divorced and was like living out all their fantasies and trying different things that and the judgy shit that people put on her you know same with my other female callers and so I think that that can be you know especially for women right for a woman to admit her guy like oh I wish I could get by two guys but not something in real life I like that fantasy too but it's nothing I would ever do in real life it's been proposed to me I've always said no I would never I wouldn't feel right about doing it in real life right but I like that like the thought of it, right? And which is fine.

And I think, but I think that it is very scary for somebody to put that out there, especially to their partner that they've been with for a long time or even to a new partner because of the fear of what someone's going to think and think that that means, you know? And not understand, and maybe not even understand that concept. Like you clarified it to me. Like, this is not something we'd ever do in real life. Like, I get that. I think, you know, a lot of times fantasy, just because you have a fantasy or something

that you like to think about it doesn't mean that it's something that you want to do in real life and it's not bad if it is something that you want to do in real life right but it can also be something that you're just interested in doing in like a mocked up scenario like in a fantasy situation um so and that's okay and that's okay and that's real you know what I mean like that's a thing that people can do and and when you could live out those fantasies with each other boy does that fucking help, right? Yes, it does. You know, and do you think that has to do with, so is sex with her 10 times better than it was before? Yeah, it's a lot better. Right. Yeah. And so does she see the changes in you, you know, because of therapy and everything? Oh, yeah. She does. And as far as your career, because I know that

you said, like, you know, a couple years ago when you were hitting rock bottom, you know, things weren't so great. Is your career been more, are you, you're a therapist now or what's your doing? I am. Okay, so you have your own practice? Yes, yep. That's awesome. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, so I went to school and then I left that. I was still working at that place, but I left there. And then, yeah, after I was done with school, I became a therapist. And do you specialize in addiction? Do you specialize in anything? or do you have people that come in that talk about stuff like this? Yeah. I'd say I specialize in marginalized groups of people, so sexual minorities.

Yeah. So, LGBTQ people, secular people are a marginalized group in my area. And people there are in my area. people there into kink or poly or swingers. Right. Those are the people I see. Right. That's great.

And like you could, what I think is always really helpful is if some, you know, because listen, you could learn about stuff from a book. And I think there's plenty of therapists out there that are like fucking killer that never had to live the life to, you know, help other people.

But I do also think the fact that you were, you know, like maybe, you know, these people that you're helping at some point. You know, you could refer back you're talking from. I don't know that you admit to that with them, you know, but you're, you, you do understand it on a certain level, you know? Yeah. I don't, like, I don't, I don't, I don't see many clients who are like I was.

You know, I do have, I do have some clients who, you know, do sexual things that they don't like. But most of, most of my clients are coming to me just because they know that I'll be. accepting of them and then it does have anything to do with sex at all. Right, right, right. It's about, yeah, like other stuff. Yeah. I live in the Bible belt.

You don't have to say exactly where right, but you live in a place that's like a Bible belt. Right. And so there's a large percentage of the counselors here are Christian counselors. Right. Actually, this is something that I want to mention on here is I did want to give some

advice to your listeners. on finding a counselor if they're, if they're, and so my advice is there are different databases. There's the poly-friendly counselors. There's the kink-friendly counselors. No, that's not right. It's poly-aware professionals, kink-aware professionals, bi-aware professionals. And then the other thing would be the secular therapy project. It's probably a good place to find open-minded people.

And then if you just go to psychology today, I would look for people who are, whether you are or not, I'd look for people who are LGBT-Q affirming, king-confirming, their sex worker-aligned therapist. But, like, you know, those are all good signs that you're going to find somebody who's pretty affirming, nope. Right, and not going to be judgy. I mean, that's the worst thing. I mean, to me, they should just be, you know, sort of listening and on vice. You know, it's kind of like the way newscasters used to be. You know, deliver the fucking news without any emotions.

Like, you know, just tell me the deal. Like, I don't want to know your opinion. And, you know, I don't really want to know about, you know, if you're paying somebody for 45 minutes of your time, you know, don't talk about your fucking self. You know what I mean? Like, no one wants to hear about that. You know, it's about the other person, right? and so you shouldn't really know that much about your therapist. I mean,

like when I found my last therapist, I don't have a therapist right now, but my last therapist was like fucking amazing. And I went to, I think she was the fifth one. I went through four before I found her too. And she was really great. You're always going to have a hint of something maybe that somebody has,

you know, maybe a teeny bit of like, I don't know. I always felt like there was something going on with her with guys. Like something triggered her a little teeny bit. But besides that, I mean, she was really like the real deal and just really helped without going into tangents about herself,

but non-judgmental. You know, like you said about your lady, like really sort of understanding and accepting of where you're at, maybe sometimes gives you a push in the right direction, right? But, and that's the way it should be. I mean, that's the way I listen. I always wanted to be a therapist when I was younger,

but then I was like, I found out that like, you're not allowed to tell people what the fuck to do and really be opinionated. Like I, you know, and I was like, Oh, no, I can't do that. I like to shove my opinions down people's throats. I like to, you know, sort of call someone out or shove that mirror in front of their face. I mean, that's really why I started to do my show because I was always doing that in my life with my friends.

And, you know, a lot of times people don't want to hear that, you know, or they're just not ready for it. Or they're just calling you to talk and they want you to feel bad. And it's hard for me to be that person, you know, because I like to sort of help somebody at that time. Like that time where you were three years ago, the lowest point where you needed that. out. Like, I love those moments in people's life. I think they're profound, you know. I, like I said, when I talk to people, I look to see if they're at that place. I think a lot of people who call into my show are at a pivotal place, right? I think that's the only reason why maybe you'd think or have the desire to go on a show like this and do that. You know, and I do believe that I help people because of that. And that's why I got into. Just no different than you're helping people, right? Like, in your profession, it's very sort of satisfying. But I get to show of my things in people's that one time, but then send them off to therapy because I believe in that so much, you know? And I always tell people like, you know,

it doesn't matter if you have a great friend that's telling you things or, you know, you were on my show and I told you great things. A therapist and real therapy is going to be something totally different and something very professional and real and really helpful and it's ongoing and it's something that people need, you know? And so, and I love doing, I always do my Where Are They Now episodes you're going to be, I'm going to wrap it up now so I could put other, like, you know, a couple more on this episode. But I love to see where people are after I speak with them.

You know, I think it's great where you're at. I think people will learn from your call. That's what I always think, like I said, I ask my questions because I think other people are listening and wondering, you know, because maybe they're at that same place, you know, whether they're a quote unquote sex addict or an addict of anything, you know, I don't think whether, whether you're drinking, fucking working and you're too into Jesus you know it's it can all be the same thing right go back and listen to your episode and you so I personally think that quitting any addiction is really major I know how difficult it is it's so hard you know and the fact that you did it I give you total props did you do it without going to any kind of like meetings or anything like that Yeah, yeah. So like the one therapist that told you about he was really pushing that. And then my, I think my therapist too was actually a little, like I was the first, I was the first person that was coming to her for that that she'd ever seen. And I was also the first like mental health professional type person that she'd ever seen. And she's quite a, she's like 10 years younger than me.

Yeah. And she, I think she was definitely a consulting with other therapists and looking for best practices. And she tried to push me towards like a meeting, right. Yeah, a meeting. I was never, never interested or willing to do that at all. But you were successful because you were in like hardcore therapy and you were really looking at yourself and, you know, probably doing a lot of the things that they would have told you in the meeting to do. but you've been successful without it. And I think that that's interesting.

You know, I think, listen, I think programs really work for the majority of people, but for some people that it doesn't work there, you can be successful without it, you know? Yeah. But it's there and in place for people that need it, and it does really help, but also like really good counseling and really good looking at yourself in the mirror every fucking day and being honest with where you're at. And getting a little help, right, is all beneficial. Yeah.

Right? And so thanks. So thanks so much for calling in Jay and giving me this update. I know it's only, you know, good things ahead. It just will get better and better for you, you know. You'll listen back on this episode two years for now and be like, wow, now I'm even, now I'm even further along, you know, sort of dealing with things, you know, because that's what happens when you start really doing the work. And just you not, you know, abandoning how you feel or running away every time you don't feel bad is work. you know, and the fact that you've been doing it for three years just will only help you.

And when you're five years, 10 years, you just become more emotionally mature, you know? Mm-hmm. And that'll show. Sorry. Sorry, my son just looked at my room. So anyway, thanks so much for calling in and, you know, and giving the update, and I'm so happy for you. Well, thank you, Kathy. I mean, you were a major part of me changing.

So I appreciate, I'm very grateful to you. I fucking love that. Like I said, I promise you that is why I started my show, really, because I like to help people. And a lot of my friends didn't want my help. You know, you can't help someone that doesn't, you know, people aren't because my friends are wrong, but sometimes people aren't at that place. Is that what they fucking want? Now that I have my, I like, I could find those people because those people find me, right?

I don't, that's why a lot of people sometimes will be like, why don't you go get this person on your show or why don't you have like you know I found somebody here and they're on instagram and maybe you show them on your show I was like I never have good conversations with people that I've ever asked to be on my show but people who want to be on my show who find me you know that's a big difference or people you know I don't want to harass anyone that hasn't you know I don't know if I found you on Craigslist because I did email people on Craigslist yeah I sent you an email right but it's the people that find me there's a very big different. There's a, there's a reason why I do it that way, and it all works, and I don't think I

consciously set it all up. And like, I didn't do it where people are anonymous. I didn't do it where only people call right into me. Like, all of those things sort of happened by accident, but after I do my show for six years, all of those things are the reason why my show works so well. You know, the whole anonymous thing was set up because I was thought my show would suck, and I didn't want to anyone to know it was me. So I was a, anonymous at first. But then it turned out like I made all and I only put on Craigslist. I got and I'm like, I'll make you guys anonymous.

And then it became this whole thing. So, you know, it all works for a reason. And, you know, you emailed me because you were at that place. I fucking love that I could talk to you, that I helped you in that way because like I said, that's why I did my show. So thanks for letting me know that. I'm so happy for you. And let me know two years from now where you're at.

We'll talk again. Oh, I'll tell you one more thing, Kathy. Real quick. Yeah. So another story that I told you about before was me reaching out to this ex-girlfriend that I'd had in college. I remember that. And I wasn't interested in her at all. Yeah.

Like it was just part of this whole thing. Yeah, I remember that. Yeah. So recently, she sent me a message. Yeah. It was like she's testing the water with me. Oh, no. And?

Yeah, this was very recently. And so I told, as I mean, as soon as I got it, I told my wife. Yeah. I got this message and she was pissed that this woman was contacting me. Yeah. But yeah, I just like she was asking me some weird stupid question. So I used to answer the question and whatever. But anyways.

No, you knew. No, but that was smart. But yeah, it's not funny that people do stuff like that. Look, you were doing it at one point of her and then she was having a moment in her life where she was fishing around to you. So you could kind of understand. But I think the best thing to do with stuff like that is just to, you know, don't start it up.

You stopped yourself in your track by telling your wife and that was it and it ended. Whereas all you needed to do was give her, like show her that there was a window of opportunity and she would have pounced, right? That's what she was feeling you out for. And then that's where trouble starts, right? Yes. That's like the beginning of, that could have been the beginning of trouble. Yes.

Because, and you, that's what your catfishing was, like that was a little bit of your company. Like you would play women. Like it was kind of fucking... Yeah, she was the only one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That you were going towards. I mean, you were doing that. I remember.

Yeah, and it wasn't right. Well, that's good news. Thanks for all of the updates. And thanks for calling in. And let me know in two years where you're at. Good luck. All right. I will.

All right. Thanks, Jay. All right. Bye, Kathy. Bye. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers,

is now available not only in paperback and e-book, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story.

There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang-bang girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. and they're all told in the third person, and they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person, and I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like Penthouse letters.

It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories, 17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format, and finally, the audio book is available coming out August 25th, but you could pre-order it now.

And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint, okay? There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me, okay? I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. everybody shares content with each other and that's what you get to do there you can post your own pictures and videos there's tons of channels we have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money it's a super fun place to be it's a total strictly anonymous community and you will love it i will be giving anyone who

buys my book access to my discord it's private like i said all you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase whether you did the audiobook the ebook or the paperback sent it to me at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. That's Strictly Anonymous Podcasts at Gmail.com. And I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in. This is the Strictly Anonymous Podcast.