Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 400 - Chad is a Bisexual Cuckold with a Micropenis

Episode Date: July 19, 2021

Chad is a cuckold with a micropenis and he calls in to talk all about it. What is a micro penis? How big is it when it's soft and when it's hard? When did he realize he was into being a cuckold? Tune on for all the details which include how women have reacted to his micropenis and how he feels about it, when he first realized he was bisexual and the first guy he fooled around with when he was younger, how he would find well hung guys for his long term girlfriend and what they would do with them, the one steady bull they had and when he started hooking up with him too, how exactly she would humiliate him and how it turned him on, how she was bisexual too and her one experience with a female, the ground rules they had for cuckolding and the one she didn't follow that made them break up, his panty fetish, how he got caught stealing them multiple times and how the people reacted, how new women he's dating react to his fetishes, his ongoing therapy and how that has helped him kick an alcohol and prescription drug problem and a whole lot more. **To see anonymous pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the strictly anonymous podcast. Strictly anonymous podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. The Craigslist is definitely like the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Santa Paul or Thailand. You can't not do it.

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Hey, welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast with Kathy. If you want to follow the strictly anonymous podcast on Instagram or Twitter, follow the show at Strict Anonymous. This is a call and advice show where I talk to total strangers about all kinds of things. I'm not really looking for colors right now, but I will talk to you if you're a female or if you are a guy and you think you have like the most interesting story that I've ever heard. send me an email at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com and I'll tape you. I'll probably be taping again maybe in September, September or October. So if you wanted you put on an email list to book a time to call in to be on the show in September or October, I'm creating an email list as we speak so you can send

me an email to be on that list and I'll email you when I start taping again. Today I have on Chad. I think I talked to Chad like last year and of last year. So there's a tiny little bit of COVID talk, but not more than that, but Chad is a sissy cuck with a micropenus. He also has schizophrenia. I mean, he threw that in in his email when he told me, but we don't talk really that much about that. We talk a lot, though, about his micropinus, about his cuck situation, his cissy cuck situation. He's a true cuck in that, like he likes the humiliation. aspect of it. He had an on and off girlfriend for 20 years. They did the whole cuck situation. He would set up guys for her to fuck. He talks all about that. He's bisexual. He just realized it, even though

he did fool around with guys when he was way younger. We talked about the first time he fooled around with guys. We talked about when he picked that back up. He's had threesome with guys. He had a bull. Him and his girl had a bull and he eventually started hooking up with that bull with her. They're no longer together. He talks a lot about all of his fetishes besides being into being humiliated and being a cock. And we talk a lot mostly about his micro penis. What does that mean? How big is it?

How big is it hard? How big is it soft? How do girls react to it? All that kind of stuff. We also talk about his panty fetish when that started, how he got caught stealing his sister's panties and all that good stuff. And then we talk a little bit about at the end, you know, his schizophrenia and his issues and his rehab that he's been in and how he kicked alcohol and prescription drugs and how his therapist helped him do that and all that good stuff. So I'm going to be right back on with Chad.

Hey, Chad. Welcome to the strictly anonymous podcast. How are you this morning? Fantastic, actually. Good. It's the new year, right? That's the new year, right? That's where we're taping your new fucking year.

Anyway, so you wrote into my show and you said a couple things, I mean, which packed a punch in just like one sentence. You're kind of like, I'm a sissy cuckled with a micro penis who has some, like, and you're schizophrenic or something like that, right? I have that. It's one of those things like, you know, whenever they ask you to fill in that box, tell you a little bit about yourself. I never know what the book because I would think I'm kind of like a boring guy. Oh, yeah, you're bisexual. You think you're a boring guy? Okay.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I recently kind of discovered like I'm bisexual. Okay. Like, I have schizoaffective disorder, which is like schizophrenia and bipolar mixed together with like manic depression and anxiety problems. And yeah, the list goes on.

Oh, my goodness. Yeah, that is a long list. Now, if you're schizophrenic, does that mean you have a bunch of different personalities? No. it means like without medication I tend to kind of have visual and auditory hallucinations.

Oh interesting, but you're on medication now. Yeah, yes, medication and counseling. I have a counselor and a psychiatrist. Yeah, that's great. Okay, but let's get into the cissy, I mean, because like I said, it's a lot of stuff, the bisexual, sissy cussie cuckold with a micro penis.

I mean, I have a million questions about that because I, when I was younger, I really had a really good friend of mine who I really liked. But everyone knew I was kind of like a size queen, right? And he was very honest about the fact that he had a micro penis. And I was like, what the fuck is that? You know what I mean? And he would always, like, show me like the tip of his pinky finger. And I'd be like, there's no way that's possible.

Do you know what I mean? I just thought he was being funny. I don't know. But he never, as much as I could tell he liked me, never wanted to hook up with me. Because I think it was true. he supposedly, like he really did have a micro penis. I've never talked to somebody that had that. You are now.

I know. So when, like, what is a microp penis? Explain to people. I went Googling and it really looks like this tiny little, it does look like the tip of a pinky finger or something. Like what, explain at what yours looks like or measurements. Well, I don't know. It looks like a, you know, a normal circumcised male penis only.

micro. When it's soft, it's about one inch. And when I'm excited, it's about like two and three quarters of an inch. Me and my ex-girlfriend measured it at. Two? Yeah, two and three, yeah, two and three quarters of an inch and about as thick around

as your thumb. Wow. So a really tiny little, like a baby penis. It's like a microbe right. Pretty much, yeah. Yeah. She called it my cissy clit. All right. Was she cool with it? I mean, did you guys figure out ways, you know, know to like how did you fuck her like it you know did you uh pretty much normally like it's just big enough that like uh you know i basically i can penetrate a woman yeah uh you know have fun

uh not obviously not as much fun for her as it is for me right um but yeah most normal sex positions actually work you know doggy style missionary yeah yeah uh all that kind of stuff the only one that like didn't really work was her writing cowgirl revere first. Right. That just don't work. But let me ask you, and I'm, you know, we'll get into all the other, the cuckold thing and everything.

But did you, you know, I would assume that having a micropenus, right, would be, you know, something that would weigh heavily on you while you're growing up, right? I mean, is it like a secret that you keep to yourself and then you have to like expose it when you want to start dating girls? I would think that there's a lot of confliction in your life because of that. right? No? For quite a while, actually, I just, I didn't give much thought to it. I didn't really notice. I mean, growing up, like, I was, I grew up during the, like, Wild West days of the internet.

Yeah. How old were you? And so, like, I'm 38. Okay. I was born in 82. Okay. And so, like, I saw some porn and, like, like, I didn't know, like, much about sex because my parents never had that talk with me or anything. And, like, other than the basic mechanics and health class, I didn't know much about it, but I realized it's like, that can't be, like, realistic, you know, like male porn stars now huge their dicks are and, you know, female porn stars in the way they just act like they love getting freaking drilled.

Yeah. Some ladies do sometimes, but not all the time. Yeah. I didn't really even realize it until, uh, I can't remember which event happened first. I think I was like 12 or so at the, in the rec center, you know, at the locker room. And like, I was kind of always bashful about. my body so I changed quickly to like facing my locker and I saw this uh kid about like half my age. Yeah.

I just like running while through the locker room and his dad's trying to catch him. And that kid like just a young white kid, not a black kid here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just was like twice as big as me. And I'm like, okay, there's a problem here. Yeah. Uh-huh. And then like very young I fooled around with a male friend of mine and like he was just way bigger.

And then like, like, how old? were you when you fooled around with that male friend? Do you remember? What grade? I think I was like 12 or 13, maybe. And how far did that go? I mean, because I've heard a lot of guys talk about these kind of stories that they, you know, that happened. Like, oh,

they jerked each other off, you know, at a slumber party. We did that and we, we did oral on each other. And that was about it. Like, we were curious, but we also, like, didn't really know a whole lot because he was in the same boat as I was. Like, just no one really had the sex talk with him and, like, yeah. It's kind of like a conservative community around here.

So there's just, I don't know, not a whole lot of knowledge. But how does it happen between you guys the first time? You know, you're friends with a guy. Because a lot of, you know, a lot of people, it doesn't happen all the time. How does it happen? A lot of unsupervised time and premium cable. We were watching real sex on HBO. And this was like back of these, it was like real sex like volume one or two.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was like hardcore. You could get like porn without it having it. Yeah, it was like basically softcore porn on HBO. And we watched that and they were talking about like guys going at and stuff. And like, we were horny enough that there's anything to make you come. You know, any port in a storm. So we're like, hey, let's try it.

And we did like one or two times. And then that was kind of it. Right. For a long time. As far as you hooking up with guys. Mm-hmm. Right. So let's get back to the micro penis because we'll get to the guy.

thing too because you said you just discovered that you were by right but yet you still have these experiences you know when you were younger with guys and then did you not have any until recently because I think you just said earlier that you figured out you were by recently

yeah I had that one experience with that one young friend when we were both like around 12 or 13 and then nothing else really happened until like 20, 2018. Okay, so that is recently.

Uh-huh. Yeah. And that's when my ex-girlfriend, we started doing the cuckold thing. That was actually my idea. Mm-hmm. And that's what you, and like, because listen, a lot of people,

I've used the word cuckle, and some people say, like, oh, if there's no humiliation, it's not a cuckled situation, but some people do use it. You know, there's a confusion with that term. I'm assuming because you're submissive and you use the word

sissy, that you probably do like the humiliation aspect to it? Yes, I do. Right, right. So it's our, that's like the real deal cuckled is what you're into. Yeah, I don't know. There's a whole lot of variation and like I don't really stick it here strictly to like labels. Yeah, yeah, it's confusing to me because I use it and some people will be like, oh, that wasn't a cuckled

situation, but. Oh, yeah. Well, We were cuck-holding in the sense that she could have sex with other men. Yeah. And I chose not to entertain any other ladies or anything. And I would find well-endowed men for her, and she'd have sex with them. Most of the time in front of me, sometimes we had a regular bull. So most of the time it was done in front of me.

A few times, like, you know, they'd make dates without me. Or, well, I would, sorry, I set up the dates, so I would set up dates. And they would agree to times when basically like I was at work or I had to do some other stuff. And then they kind of humiliate me by sending me pictures or video or whatnot or calling me in the middle of the act. Uh-huh. And that would be humiliating to and a turn-on at the same time. Yeah. Uh-huh.

Yes. Yeah, it would be humiliating and a turn-on at the same time. Right. And the humiliation aspect is it, is it like when you're playing this out, is it like you don't want her to do it, but she's like, fuck off. I'm doing it anyway. Like, you know, because other people, you know, they have this fantasy and they do and they live it out, but there's no humiliation. Like, what makes it humiliating to you? The fact that she's with a much bigger, more wound down male.

Star, be quiet, Dargo. Sorry. It's okay. It's okay. So because he's way bigger. Because he's way bigger and she'd say and do things to humiliate me and aunt now. And then, of course, I'd be dressed like a sissy. Tell that dog to shut the fuck up.

Star. Quiet. Sorry. It's okay. I have to make a bloopers tape, actually, of all of it. It'll be funny. Okay, where were we? You were saying that the humiliate, I was wondering,

the humiliation aspect you said is because they're way more endowed than you. Is there a conversation about that going on? Like as far as, oh, look how big your dick is. Like, you know, is that, like, you know, does that. Oh, yeah, just to talk about how much more bigger endowed he was and how like basically he owned that pussy now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right. That's what I was getting.

And talk about how he had been all deeper everywhere that, you know, in her mouth, her ass and in her pussy. Right. How long were you dating this girl for? Off and on for about 20 years. Wow. No, you never got married, Mary, but you were together. I don't believe in marriage. Okay, cool.

So you, but you were together for about on and off for 20 years. Now, we met when we were five years old. She was the girl I played doctor with. Right. Okay. And when did you, you know, let your freak flag fly with her and, you know, let her know about all the stuff that you were into? It came out slowly a little bit here and a little bit there because just as time grew,

and we got closer together. She's just, she was that closest confidant that I could, you know, I told her everything, you know, all the skeletons in the closet, all the weird little things. Yeah. you know about the panties like you like wearing panties too i don't i don't remember that okay and now when you the first time you fooled around with her was she okay with the size of your penis was like was there any conversation about that actually there was zero conversation about my penis size until i brought up the cuck holding thing yeah and the humiliation thing and i was like

just you know let it out everything you feel about me and everything you want to if you were to sleep with another guy. And that became, at first, just part of a very, you know, rational discussion in her just being honest and open. And then I was like, you know, I kind of enjoyed the humiliation aspect of it. So, you know, let that fly. And she's pretty creative lady. Right.

Well, now, did she know about your earlier experiences with guys? Because I'm assuming that your second guy experience when you were much older was within one of those cuckolding situations with her, right? Yes. She knew about that. She knew about the bisexuality, well, about me thinking like I might be bisexual. And then, you know, she's also, she was also bisexual as well or is bisexual. Uh-huh.

And honestly, she's just sexualized, sex-wise, she's just open to anything. You know, she's, as we both put it, you know, that trying this kind of person, try it twice if you weren't sure the first time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, did you guys ever have threesome with women? No. Okay. But she had played with women before. I mean,

because I know you guys were with each other a long time. He said she's by. Like, so does she do, is she doing that when she's with you or when you guys were on a break? She was, like, she's by,

but in more of that sense, like she just fooled around and experimented like in her youth. Like, she never really like, went after women, really. Like,

the only time ever started her doing anything with a girl was when we were dating when I was like 18. And, uh, like, I just sat there and watched her, you know, have sex with her BFF. Mm-hmm.

Was that like a drunken kind of a thing? Yeah, it kind of was. Now that I think about it and recall it, yeah, we were drinking and smoking weed. Right. Okay. And she fools around with her best friend in front of you. Now, were you guys dating at the time or just started to date? We were dating.

Right. Well, first of all, why would you break up with this girl? Because she sounds kind of like you guys are very on the same page as far as like it was one of those things where it was too good to be. true, I guess. She's a great and understanding person on one side, but on the other side, she's very passive, aggressive, and narcissistic. Uh-huh.

And a pathological liar. And I, the ground rules to cuck holding were, like, um, like I would set up the dates. I knew everything, I was supposed to know everything that was going on, even if I wasn't there to watch. Yeah, for sure. And, uh, there was a short list of guys that was like, no matter what, you're not having sex with these people. And one of them was her,

an ex that she had a baby with. I really fucking hated that guy. Yeah, I could imagine. Because, you know, she must have had that baby when you guys were off, right? Yeah. Yeah.

There was some cheating going on as well. Okay. And I thought that child was, you know, procreative. Anyway. Yeah. So she lied to me and had sex with that guy. And I'm like,

no, Cuckolding is already kind of very on the borderline of what most people consider cheating. And when you start lying, that just makes it cheating. So I'm like, no. how did you find out

she's just not very good at covering shit up right it's almost rude right when somebody is so like laxadaisical you're like at least like fucking trying to like you know it's almost like like a second diss on top of it because you're like well I felt like

a Shakespearean sense of betrayal because it's like you could have me go find a guy or two or three guys and they'll do you right now in my living why are you hiding this shit and fucking that guy well because there might be

I think sometimes, and I talk about this a lot of my show with that whole, the cheating sex, like there's something about you not knowing, maybe, that was an added turn on to her. You know, like, that's like, it's very naughty. And it's, uh, she could have been. And she could have been addicted to that because like, look, she could go, like, she took sex so far with you, right? So like, what next, you know, what else can she get off on? If she's just wired that she needs more or something's going on there and she has her own

issues, right? She might have to like fuck guys behind your back to get the next rush, you know? Perhaps, I don't know. We never got into that in depth of a discussion about the cheating because I could never get a straight story out of her, so. Right, she would never come to it. Yeah, I just don't

communicate with her anymore. So you guys broke up, how long ago? April of 2019. Oh, okay, so you've been without her for a while. Now, what happened with that first buy experience with her? She was going at it with her regular bull And she kind of hopped off for a moment To catch a breather and can drink of water

That guy could fuck like a porn star I can't remember exactly what his day job was But if that ever folded up he could easily go into the porn community Right okay But anyway she hopped off of him and just pulled me to You know start going down on him She told you too Yes

Right okay so she ordered you your submission You like that role, right? Yes, ma'am. She was into being the Dom. Yeah, and I encouraged that. I told her that's the direction. Like, we wanted, I wanted to go. Okay, and that guy, your bull was cool with it.

Yeah. So you blew him. Did he do anything to you? I mean, how far did that go with him? We were kind of, like, sort of, I guess, like, working our way towards something like that happened, but happening. But then, again, whatever he did for, living like he wasn't a regular around this area. He was just here for business for like six months, I think almost a year.

And then he had to move. Right. And then so like, you know, we had to start again and looking for a suitable bowl. How did you find him? Craigslist. Yeah, the good old Craigslist, right? When the personal used to be a thing. Yeah, uh-huh.

Like pretty much right before they shut down the Craigslist person. Right. And so what did you guys put out like you were a couple looking for a bull, cuckled, situation. I put out that we were a couple. She was a, you know, a sexy BBW brunette and that I was a little micropenus cissy who couldn't satisfy my girl. Right. And I needed a, we needed a well-endowed bull. And we got a million offers. Uh-huh. The first guy we tried to have fun with, oh my God, that was, uh, did not work out well. What happened? You know, like, well, you know, like most, uh, men like talk a big game about you know how good they are and how big they are and he had like

a pretty darn big penis yeah not as big as the regular guy we had but yeah a whole lot bigger than me and he came over like uh to anyone who's looking to get into cuck holding and looking for a bull when you ask for pitchers also be sure to include the face because he showed like from the neck down and had a good looking body and a good face but i mean a good looking body and a good penis but then turned out to be like Mr. Rogers looking older gentleman. Oh, really? And then I swear to God had this condom that

Jesus Christ, he must have got off a cigarette girl at a fucking speak easy or something because it was a brand I never seen before like he must have traveled through time. And then he has sex with her for about five minutes and then comes. I'm like, dude, if I wanted her to be disappointed, I could have done that myself.

Right. Oh, he was probably just way too horny for that whole scenario. Yeah. Yeah. He wasn't like a professional bull. I think a lot of regular guys probably would have came in five minutes too. You know, maybe the first one. He might have been better after like a couple times, you know, but I get that. So he was a lot older than you were looking for. So what was it about this bull if you got thousands of people that, you know, submitted to you? Why did this guy stand out? What was it about him? The one you chose? Well, one physically. My girl found her, found him attractive. He

was super well endowed. Yeah. And in our exchanges through email and eventually then to text and stuff, I don't know, he just sounded like very professional. He had done this before. And I don't know, he just didn't sound cocky. He just sounded very professional. Like he would go in there and, you know, give her exactly what she needed and then, you

know, out the door he'd be. And that's exactly what he was. He kept it very strictly on the level. Very, very good dude. Yeah. you found a really great situation right because sometimes i think it's hard to find that perfect scenario right and he became like you're a regular now so was he married or anything was this a secret thing that he was doing was he a single guy how old was he was he turned out like he was

very much a professional he was a little bit older than us i think maybe like 45 uh-huh uh single he he had been married in the past was divorced single now and pretty much a master of like a den of women just all around the area that he traveled through for work he could dial up women to just and order them around and right they would right and now how did you know he was by ahead of time no I didn't know ahead of time um and again like that was just kind of a spurn the moment thing like I didn't even think that would happen and she's just like you know suck his dick and I'm like yes mommy that's what I called her uh-huh right And I went down on him for a little while and cleaned her juices off of him.

And then they went back at it. And then once he came in her, I cleaned her out. Right. And then I'd get to have sex with her once she was all stretched out. Right, from him. Now, did you hook up with him on multiple occasions or is it just that one time? No, several times over the entire period that he was in our area. We'd chew for about like twice a month.

Sometimes it was more than that. Sometimes it was less kind of. getting on everyone's schedule, you know? Yeah. And now did you ever do anything more than oral with him? No. Like, we were kind of sort of working for that. She was kind of hinting towards talking to him about wanting to see him

fuck me and dominate me. Yeah. And I was like kind of like into it and then kind of a little wary because like, Jesus Christ, this guy is really big and I ain't had anything up there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh-huh. People split me in two. I was honestly amazed that she could take it.

Right. Watching it that first time was a real eye-opener about my girlfriend. How big was he? Nine and a half inches and as thick as my wrist. Wow. Humongous. Yes. Like I said, he would fare very well if he started doing porn.

Yeah, because that's not the average. The average guy is pretty regular size, you know? I mean, they used to say that the average is, six to eight but I think it's four to six yeah I'll say a lot of what I've looked up is in like the four and a half to like six and a quarter range is what I hear a lot basically oh that's what they say now because I remember

people saying oh average is six to eight and I was like I don't think so I think the average is like like you said four to like I always thought it was like around four to six right I think the average black guy might be like six to eight but this guy was nine and your girl could take it every which way. Was she like a three-in-put girl? Yes, she totally was.

Like, I had no idea she was such a size queen, though, because, like, she, like, we had pretty darn good sex. I wouldn't say his mind-blowing, nothing like to, you know, no dear penthouse letters here, but good, satisfying sex. And, yeah, I knew my shortcomings. So, like, I made, I made sure to, like, learn as much as I could about oral and just being attentive to the ladies' needs. I'm pretty darn good, but, you know, obviously sometimes the lady just needs a big dick.

Right. And you, but she was cheating on you through the whole relationship because you didn't open it up to cuckolding until 2018. Is that correct? Yeah, until the end. Yeah. And it was the cheating that kind of brought that up because then I started looking up like cheating porn and then like cuckolding. And I was like, and it wasn't like the sex with another guy that like got on my nerves. It was lying.

Of course. Yeah, there's, that's, so like, I was like, you know, if we can eliminate the lying in the deception, I would have no problem with her having sex with other guys because, like, I'm just a realist. Like, even outside of cuck holding, I'm just a realist. Like, women have needs. And unfortunately, one of those needs, I got the short end of the sticks. Right. Got to contract out.

Right. You'd be fine with it. Right. Yeah. Unless somehow there's a lady and adult woman out there with a very tiny vagina and wants to hook up, and then you'd be a perfect pair. Right. Well, I think, listen, you and your girl must have had really good chemistry too, right? I think when you have chemistry with somebody, you know, that adds to things, right? Because I know I have things that I'm specifically into physically for a guy, but like I've met guys that I had like intense chemistry. And so whatever they brought to the table was good enough for that time because I was so fucking into them, right? So you and Hermas had really good chemistry. That was probably obviously there. For a long time.

Pretty good chemistry with quite a few sex partners. Like, I only, like, thinking back, like, I only had two experiences where a lady was, like, just unhappy with the size and actually just mentioned it. One was actually pretty darn humiliating. Now that I think back on it, kind of a churn on, but I wasn't in the humiliation kink at the time. Why? What happens? This girl in my work was hitting on me for quite a while. And, again, I was a little shy about hooking up with her because I wasn't comfortable with my body yet.

Yeah. I hadn't accepted, you know, who I am. Yeah. And so finally, like, I really liked her and she was really darn good looking. So we finally did hook up and started dating and had sex a couple times. And I was on my way home from work and I hurried to shower and get ready. And, you know, I had hours in her presence. I was going to take her on a really nice date.

And her best friend, not. her, her best friend called me and said her friend was breaking up with me because I had a tiny dick. But how did she know? I mean, had you fucked her yet? The girl I was dating? Yes, we'd had sex a couple times. Oh, okay. Quite. Two or three times, I think.

All right, but what, but what, let me ask you this though before you heard that from her best friend. Did you feel like she got turned on that everything was okay? Well, you know, because you had done it already and she didn't give you any sort of hint of the fact that she was unhappy?

I never got a hint like she was straight up unhappy, but I did get that feeling like she was walking away not totally satisfied. I'm like, I should probably step it up a notch and try something different. Right. Okay. So her best friend calls you up and says... Yeah, because she didn't have the nerve to do it, so she had her best friend do it. How old was she at the time? Mid-20s.

Was there any texting going on? Because that's like something that you could do via text, right? Just, you know, I think people do shit like that just to get out of it. you know, they use text, and that's why text is so great. She could have text me herself. Yeah. She didn't even do that. She had her best friend call me. Oh my God. And then you had to work with her still?

Yeah. Mm-hmm. That was nice and awkward. Yeah, I could imagine. Did you continue to stay friends? No. We were professionally courteous to each other, and that was about it. Right. Okay. But so is this around the time that you date this girl that you were with? Because, I mean, how many other girls have you been with? you said you had me and the the main girlfriend the one that were together for a long time we were on

and off quite a bit like nine to ten times it was like a mutual splitting like her life was going one direction and mine another yeah mine usually in chaos so like I dated like quite a few different ladies in between uh you know in our off times now did you ever do any kind of like crazy things with them were you submissive with them and no a lot of that was straightforward sex like I like I always had the panty fetish thing that thing that shit started out when i was way young and now let's talk about that when did that start when you were young that started pretty much as soon as i was old enough to realize there's a difference in men and women's underwear because i have two older sisters right god i want to say maybe around eight to ten is when i started noticing my sister's underwear

was way more interesting than mine and i started snagging theirs and then i i i i I got caught a little bit later and had a very embarrassing conversation with my parents that I don't even remember. Right. Oh, my God. I can imagine you probably blocked it out. I never really stopped. Like, I would collect panties either stealing them or buying them. Like, once online shopping really became a thing. And I got a credit card. I started doing that a lot. And I'd get a mass of panties and other stuff and then throw it away and then start all over again. And one time I had a girlfriend find a thong in my closet and break up with me because she thought I was cheating. Totally. I know I saw that once on like 90 day fiance or some show that I was watching and the girl found like a brow or panties in her boyfriend's dresser and there was this whole big fight and he was like swear, you know, he's like and I was like, you know what? What people don't understand is that it could be his, you know, and I only know that from doing my show. I would, I would think exactly like your girlfriend thought before I started talking to guys for six years and they're telling me their deepest secrets, you know, but. I kind of wish I told her the truth.

Like I just, I was not brave enough yet to do that. I kind of really wish I told her the truth. Because she was a really amazing young woman. And just knock out gorgeous. Even if she was half as good looking like, you date her anyway just for the personality. It's just an awesome, awesome woman. Like, did you actually admit to her? Like, did you actually lie and say, oh, yeah, that was somebody else as I was cheating?

Or she just, you didn't. No, it's sort of one of those government operations where I can either confirm nor deny anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But she just assumed it was another girl and dumped you. Yeah, I tried to plan it off like it was one of hers. I was like, isn't that one of yours? And she's like, obviously, you know,

she was a very petite, small girl. And obviously, like, the panties I wear are going to be quite a bit bigger. Yeah, yeah. So she just kind of thought I was banging some fat chick. Oh, my God, hilarious. And I could really, I really wish I told her the truth. Because, God, like, she was barely 18. I actually picked her up using the cheesiest, most retarded pickup line.

And she was just an awesome, she was an awesome girl. Right. And how long were you dating when she found that? Almost a year. Right. And she was cool with your micro penis. You guys had good chemistry, good sex. Yeah, she was one of the many girls that just like, the conversation never came up.

She saw my penis and just, I don't, she, I don't know what was going on in her head. Either she thought it was too small and just didn't care and liked other things about me more. Yeah. Or what? But we had really darn good sex and she came a lot. I actually got her to try anal. One good thing about having a small penis, it is very easy to talk women into anal. Right, of course.

Yeah. And she loved it. Mm-hmm. It probably feels better. It's not so, you know, you don't have to be so turned on because if you're going to take a big ass, dick up your ass, like you just really have to relax and loosen up. But, you know, to take a little thing, you know, it's like a finger, right? Like your penis is kind of like a one finger.

Yeah, as the main girl that I dated for a long time, she put like, it was, it's like getting finger fucked by someone like with very big hands. Right. Very big fingers. Yeah, like a thick finger. Yeah. Mm-hmm. And so now your parents, they, do you remember?

I know that you say you don't remember the conversation, but how did they catch you in panties? Did they catch you wearing them? Did they catch you stealing them? My sister caught me stealing them, and she turned me into my parents. Right. And then they had a conversation with you,

like, what the fuck? Which I thought was kind of hilarious. Like she was so quick to turn me in, when it was sort of her, she was used to bully and be mean to mean. Like, she's just a really bad person. Your sister? Yeah. Yeah.

And she dressed me up in girls' clothes a few times and, you know, dresses and panties and all that kind of stuff. That was part of likewise. I don't like this. But of course I knew I was like I should act like I don't like this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then it's interesting that she like would do all that to you. And then when she saw you stealing the stuff, she like ratted you out. You would think, you know, she could have been the one that, you know, put the idea in your head. Yeah. Well, she's just a bullying. anything to get me in trouble. Right. And now are you close with your family now that you're older? No, I don't, I speak to my oldest sister, not the one who bullied me. She was the middle sister. What about your parents? Mom passed away about six years ago now. Me and her were like not very close. She was a great best friend, but not a mom. Right. And my dad, I haven't spoke to him in

like 12 years. Right. Right. Now, so have you been with any wins? in since you broke up with the girl you know your long-term girl a year ago? I have had two relationships. They were lasted short term. Surprisingly none of them had anything to do with like them not liking the penny thing because I've just decided to start being roping about that. That's cool. Pretty early and let ladies know like,

ah, if we ever get to like disrobing, this is what you're probably going to find. Right. And how have you ever had girls like get completely turned off or are most of them okay with it? The two that I did date were just all right with it. One girl, like she was just okay with it. She didn't want to like really like participate in like the penny thing or like humiliation or that stuff. And we ended up breaking up due to religious differences. Right.

She's like very strongly religious and I'm an atheist. Uh-huh. Who has like sinner and heretic tattooed on me. So that's hilarious. pretty well for her family. Right, right. And the other girl just broke up because conflicting schedules. We couldn't see each other enough. Right. But they were both okay, right? I mean, but did you ever have anyone that wasn't okay? Well, none of those I never actually dated and got to bed. Right. Got into bed with. They were like mostly like through Tinder apps.

You know, I'd get to explaining personal stuff about me. I'm like, oh, hey, and like, you know, I just kind of nonchalately bring it up lately anymore. I'm like, yeah, if you're kind of like into well and dad, guys, I'm not your cup of tea. Right. So you put that out there. But you also put the panties thing out there too? Yeah. Yes, ma'am. Before you even meet up. Yeah. Well, it's kind of like I don't want my time and I don't want to waste their time either.

Yeah, I don't shove that in their face like, you know, in the first few minutes of a conversation on Tinder or whatever. But yeah, I kind of let that fly early on so that if I'm not their cup of tea, they know right away and, you know, I don't waste their time. No, yeah, and I ask that because I think, you know, it's helpful for other people, right, who have these maybe secrets or fetishes that they're, you know, afraid to put out there. When is the correct time, you know? And so you do it like really straight off the bat that you're not well endowed, right? And also the panties thing?

Yeah. Uh-huh. And so you've had two girls recently that were cool with it, right? And you dated them. Yeah. Yeah, one lady was. Like, she didn't really, like, want to get, like, into it, but she was just okay with it. She's just like, it is what it is.

And she liked my personality enough. She's like, well, let's see how this works out. And that was the one that we broke up for different religious views. The other girl, the one who, our schedules conflicted too much. She was actually kind of really into it. We even went panty shopping. Oh, wow. That was cool.

She got me a few nice items. And so why did it not work out with her? Because of the scheduling conflict, right? Yeah. She worked a lot out of town And I work a lot of demanding hours in town So a lot of our Most of our relationship was just done by phone

And we didn't get to like meet up And spend enough quality time together And then She started plans to kind of move Because her company was taking her somewhere else And so you know And that one just we parted on good terms We're still like Facebook friend

And say hi once in a while Right that's cool Now are you open and honest about like your like the schizophrenic stuff and the bipolar yeah yeah I'm pretty much an open book really yeah that's great did you

did you come to be that way through therapy or were you always that way like we were super honest I was very embarrassed and thought I was just some weirdo freak for some of the shit I was into and then body shy about penis size it was through therapy and through just yeah just through therapy just coming to the conclusion that you know i am what i am uh let's do the

best with what i got with this car you know with this hand of card stelt and uh and live life right i mean life short right that's how i look at it right so just yep yeah and what's interesting right and what you're here to say is that it's not like it seems like in your situation that more women have been accepting than not right i mean it's not like you've put it all out there and you've seen the back of so many girls' heads. Like a lot of them were like, that's okay. Like they were accepting. Yeah, I really have, especially when it comes to the penis thing.

Like, I've had, yeah, two negative experiences, really. And all your, and you're 38 and it's not like you've only been with one woman. Yeah, I think that that's great. Listen, when I liked that guy and I was a size queen and he had a micro penis and like, I didn't believe him, but I was like, I liked him so much. that I don't think that would have been a deal breaker. I never was with him, you know, to know, to know, but I never, it wasn't like to me when I found that out or when he always talked about it.

I was like, no way. I didn't really believe him because I didn't really know that it existed. But, and he always had girlfriends, long-term girlfriends that he stayed with for years. So, you know, it's not like it's something that no girl would like, right? Because look, you've had tons of girlfriends. I know my friend that had it. I mean, you know, it's just, it's not a. common thing. I had to Google it. I didn't even know that it existed, you know?

Well, yeah. I think it kind of goes back to what, there is some truth when people say, like, fashion magazines and pornography and all this stuff kind of really does give people unrealistic, unrealistic expectations of others in their own body. Right, of what's, and what's really out there, right? Yeah. Right. For women, it's like you said, like it's like how these, the girls act on porn's like, you know, the regular girls are going to be that professional, right? What do you know? Have you been with a guy

since that bull? Yeah, a few random encounters through a website called Fat Life. You never heard of that one. Yeah, I've heard of Fat Life through my show. So do you have a profile up there and are you looking for men and women? I mean, what do you advertising on there for looking for?

Mostly that I'm looking for a woman to cuckold me. but yeah also that I'd entertain guys as well right and so what are the you know can you explain those experiences you're the submissive right have you had sex with the guy like have you just done oral have you gone further surprisingly telling other men that you're a virgin

and you know as far as you know actual like penetrating sex with a guy tends to actually kind of like I don't know men just shy away from that I guess I don't know. I have very little experience with guys, and I don't even know what, like, kind of type of guy I like. You don't? No.

I just know. Right now, all I really know is I kind of like sucking dick, and I'd like to get, I'd like to have sex with a guy in months. Do you think you'd ever date a guy? Hmm. I don't know. Like, that hasn't, like, that hasn't, like, my reservations mostly have to do with the community I live in. Right.

I think if I could go to like a bigger city. Where it was accepted. Yeah, probably. Why the heck not? Right. Who knows who that special someone is going to be that I'm like, oh my God, I can't live about this person. Yeah.

What is your future look like? I mean, are you looking for a relationship? Do you like to be in relationships as opposed to being single? Are you happy being single right now? I know it's like the fucking COVID world, but you know. Oh, yeah. the whole pandemic thing. He throws a wrench in the gears for just about anything you want to do.

Yeah, but like pretend that doesn't exist, right? And what is like to be in, ideally, yes, I'd like to be in a long term, you know, kind of one of those still death do as part relationships with a woman. Right. And also, again, like who knows who that special someone's going to be, you know. Right. So it could be a guy, but you feel like where you live, it's super conservative and you wouldn't feel like, okay.

Now, does anybody of your friends, I mean, besides, that girl, she knew everything about you, right? And the girls that you date. But are you open about who you are with all this, like, stuff with friends and stuff as well? Or is you know, they all think I'm the stereotypical, uh, Wyoming male. I hunt, I fish, I collect guns. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yeah. And on a scale of one to ten, what are you? Because you always talking about all these, like, beautiful women that you've dated. So are you, like, super good looking as well? No, I'm not. That's the thing. Like, if you talk in the picture of these women now, next to me.

Yeah. You either think they are really dating down, doing community service, or I paid most of these women. So how would you always get at the hot girls? I don't even know. I don't have game. I'm not smooth. In fact, I make a joke about the fact that I make game out of not having any game.

Right. That's your game. You don't have a game. Uh-huh. Okay. Well, maybe that's a game. The more interested I am in a girl and the more beautiful I'm, I find her the more bundle of fucking nerves and awkwardness I am.

Right. Like the girl who found the panties. I can't believe the pickup line I used on her actually worked because it was so stupid and outrageous. I was like she's never going to call. What was the pickup line? Okay. I assumed she was 18. I was like 23 to 24 at the time.

I assumed she was 18 to 20 because she was actually working like very late. Yeah. So I was like, oh, she must be part of the night. shift and she must be you have to be over 18 um so started hitting on her and she tells me she's 17 so jokingly i say hey call me on your 18th birthday and she's like well that's in two weeks and i was like so being even more arrogant i write down my number i'm like you're going to need this walking away i'm like that was the fucking most retarded thing you could ever do that girl is never going to call you back yeah but that's not that retard yeah but that's not that retarded that's very direct

that was direct girls like that walking away from that I thought it's like oh my god mission failed. Why? Because you gave her that she's I mean, why would you think mission failed? Because one, I'm a goofy looking guy at best and she was like knockout hot and you know like just I don't absolutely gorgeous and then 18. Are you really tall? I'm trying to figure out why girls like you.

I'm statistically average. I'm 5'8. I'm about 200 pounds. kind of a little on the chubby side right now. A little too much quarantine. Yeah, everyone's a little on the chubby side in quarantine, I think. Yeah.

Except J-low. Brown hair, brown eyes. Yeah. I'm like this weird goofy concoction of like Irish, Scottish, Mexican, and Native American mixed together. Uh-huh. And so what would you put yourself

on a scale of one to ten? I don't know, probably four or five. Are you doing that just because you're into humiliation and you're submissive and like you looked down on yourself? I don't know. You have to be more than that to get all these hot girls. I always do have confidence issues.

So I don't know. I guess if you ask the ladies who have dated me, they might say eight, a six. Right. Yeah, I'd say four or five. Personality-wise, I'm at least a six or a seven. Right. Because I'm that goofball, you just don't know what's going to happen next when I'm around, especially if there's a party going on.

Well, personality is a lot to women. You know what I mean? At least for me, it always has been. and you always see like tens walking around with five. So sometimes it's money. It's funny. You know, like there's a lot of things that add to a guy's sort of swagger for a girl, right?

And, you know, as a stretch, I can always throw in that starving artist thing on the side. Oh, that's you too? That's you? Yeah. I'm a stand-up comedian.

Okay. Trying to be. Well, do you, is that, have you been a stand-up comedian your whole life? No. What I've always wanted to be. It's only in the,

about the last five years that I've really tried. Okay, because listen, if being up on stage is an a phrodisiac, I think sometimes to women, so you could get off that stage and pick them up, no? I've taken home a few chuckle sluts. Yeah, there you go. That's what I mean. So that helps. Not as many as you think, though.

Women say they love funny guys, but results definitely say you still mostly like tall, dark and handsome men, a huge cock. Not really, because we never know how big. the cock is, okay? We just, we just don't. You don't really know until you're like, I mean, a lot of girls do that. You know, you feel down there while you're making out with them, but you really don't know if a guy's standing in front of you. A guy has a lot more idea of what a woman's body is when she's standing in front of them, right? Because we wear tight clothes. You could see the shape of our body and everything, but a guy's dick size is very hidden, okay? So women don't know that, but Fawny goes a long way. I mean, I'm a woman. I think that you might have a story.

skewed sense of things because you have like these confident issues and you like to be submissive and you're just you call yourself a sissy and you're into cuckolding you know so i think you probably have a very skewed view of things and that right you'd be accurate in saying that yeah yeah so and so i don't think that you're right but i really wonder and so i really wonder what your true score is on one to ten because you do get all these like hot girls and you know it's not like you have a ton of cash, right? You, like, you keep putting yourself down, you know, but that's probably a part of, like you said,

your confidence issues. Now, are you successful? I'm not rich, but I'm not broke. Right. Now, this, have you been with the same therapist for, forever? Yeah, about five years now. Right. That's great.

Did you just start five years ago therapy? Yes. So was it just five years ago that you've been open and honest? Is that when you started to just really put your stuff out? it's in the last three years like the first two years of therapy were really rough dealing with some deep really messed up issues and then I don't after a good two years of therapy and a little bit of rehab like I really started coming out of my shell right now what did you go into rehab for drugs and alcohol or just drugs and alcohol I had a I had an addiction to

prescription painkillers well which ones. Vicodin. Fetan. I'm morphine. Which whatever I could get my hands on. I had a surgery recently and they gave me and I'm a sober person. I've been sober for like 16 years now maybe.

I don't even know I can't even count anymore. So very clean and sober like I don't do anything and but for my surgery they gave me what the fuck was it? Oxycodone and holy shit. Oh God. That's about to wreck your world. No. It made me so fucking happy and energetic and I felt great and I did.

didn't really put it together until like maybe a week and a half of taking it. I was like, oh, and I was like, and then I had to like stop. I stopped. I was fine anyway. I didn't need it anymore, but, um, and I was like, oh, I could see why. I went Googling a lot. And then I realized a lot of people have overdosed, you know, a lot of the famous people that you've heard, OD, it's that. And I get it because for me, and I think everyone's body is different, but for me, it made me feel fucking great. Like, and I was like, I don't know what it. And I was like, and I was like, and I was like, Like, is this how regular people feel like this fucking happy? Like, I never felt happier and up and I had so much energy.

And it was like, amazing. And I was like, oh, I could see why people get addicted to this shit. Because, you know, I'm very strong willpower that I was able to stop taking it. But I could see why that's a slippery slope for people. Yeah, it started when I had knee surgery for a motorcycle accident. Yeah. And then I've got rotten luck. I've been hit at the same intersection twice.

No kidding. Oh, my God. A couple years later down the road, I got into a bad car accident, which that messed up my back. So on top of the knee pain of the back pain, they gave me a bunch of painkillers. Yeah. Once the prescriptions ran out, I was already addicted, so I just started buying them off the street. Right, because they made you feel so good. Yeah, all I felt like everywhere I was walking, it felt like I was snuggled up in a nice warm blanket that just came out to dryer.

And I was so darn happy now. Yeah, my son likes dry. towels out of the dryer. Yeah, it's like, that someone told me that about heroin. I mean, I never did. I always liked up. I'm like an up person.

I know some people like stuff that makes them feel very relaxed and down. You know, for me, what I loved about oxy is a mean we feel very fucking up and energized and great, you know? It depends on your personality. Totally. It's sort of weird.

They classify it as a downer. They do? Yeah, it's classified as a downer because it gets you low. But really, For me and you and certain other people I've spoken to, it's almost like an upper. It's a total upper for me. And it doesn't give you energy in the sense. Like if you did meth, you're all hyper running running.

Yeah, no. You'd see the mindset where you're like, I feel good. Let's go do shit. Yeah, totally. Yeah. But I have the opposite reaction to a lot of things. Like I come out of surgery, like being wide, fucking awake. And they're like, this is not normal.

Like most people sleep for a day after being under general anesthesia. and I'm like wired from it. So I think like, you know, there's something maybe off or something. You know, my chemistry is, you know, and maybe it's because I'm an addict. I don't know. But I know that I have a lot of times opposite reactions to things that, then the majority of people, right? So, yeah, I didn't feel oxy as a downer. I felt it as a upper and I really fucking liked it.

And I didn't realize how much I liked it until like a week in. But I was like, oh, I get why people, you know, it's, it's like I said, a slippery, slope for addicts to be prescribed, stuff like that. Sorry, a lot of people told me like alcohol is also considered a downer. You know, I was being at work, doing lines of Vicodin and then chasing it with Jim Beam. And coworkers, like, how can you even be awake right now? Like, awake, this is what I need to get fucking normal. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, no, alcohol for me was like, it made me happy. I mean, and I felt up, you know what I mean? It didn't make me down. You know, there's a lot of sugar in alcohol, too. So it gave me energy, right? It wouldn't give me energy when I didn't have it. But if I drank again, I would feel that up again. You know, I was like, to me, downers was like weed, you know, and I was very into weed when I was

way younger. But when I got older, I preferred alcohol. And like, I would have been a Coke head if I had the cash and it didn't make me feel so bad afterwards. You know, I never got that into Coke. But it was like, I like that feeling of just feeling up. I don't want to feel that fucked up. like I don't want my brain hallucinating shit or not being, you know, weed makes, I'm like a

stoned person naturally. My brain thinks like weird things regularly that I smoke weed and I just really, it's too much. But, because I like the up. A lot of people disagree with me and my counselor even has, has begrudgingly agreed that it might be right. But marijuana is still one of the best things I've found for my mental health disorders. No, I think a lot of people are starting to believe that and understand that and people are talking about that. I mean, but I think, you know, marijuana, especially nowadays, because you could go and buy it and shit. Like, it comes in all different, like, varieties, right? And I think it's important to find the right kind, right? That's what people say. Yeah. Yeah, I'm not,

I don't have a huge wealth of knowledge about pot other than I really like smoking it. And I can idea a good looking back away from it's some crap. But there's some crap. But there's two different basic kinds. Cannabis Sativa and cannabis, something else. And I would forget which one's which, but one gives you more of a mental high and one gives you more of a body high that like relaxes you know, if you got like a bad back or bad knees

or whatever, you smoke that. You feel all right. So which one do you like? I like the one that gives you more of a mental high so I can, you know, smoke a bowl of that after work, play a video game or two and then go to bed. And so it just relaxes you? Yeah. So you, so when you got...

Thank you very much. Right. And so how long you've been clean and sober though? So what you've been clean and sober from is alcohol and drugs? Alcohol and prescription painkillers have been clean of those since 2016. Right. So what you do now and the only thing that you like to do is you just smoke a little weed at the end of your day to relax you.

Yeah, pretty much. Yeah, no difference in someone who has a cold gear at the end of a hard day. Yeah, totally. And if it works for you, I mean, everyone has a different program and a different sort of using. I think my counselor would even agree more if it was actually in a state where it's legal. Oh, right, right, maybe. Uh-huh. Did your counselor help you get clean and sober from all the other stuff? Yeah, I went through, uh, I didn't even struggle to say if you call it rehab, but it was counseling through her and then through my psychiatrist. I went through a doctor in like a pain clinic where I ended up taking suboxin, which is sort of like methadone, you know, how they get methadone.

to donate heroin addicts to taper them off. So, Suboxin works the same way for people who are on prescription opiates. Oh, okay. Mm-hmm. So you take that, and it's kind of sort of gives you like a tiny buzz,

like just enough to take the itch away pretty much. Right. So you're gradually getting off of that, right? You're not crashing. Yeah. And then also on the flip side of that, it prevents you actually from getting high if you try to like drink or take any other illicit narcotics.

Oh, interesting. So while you're, on that, there's no point in trying to cheat that. Yeah, it's funny when I took the oxycodone and I'm like, and I went Googling a lot about it because I was like so into it. And then I stopped taking it for like one or two days and I felt

like shit like so bad. And I was like, oh my God, like I get. And people were like, you couldn't have got addicted to it like after like a week and a half. Like it wouldn't have that. I'm like, no, I am telling you when you go from feeling what you feel like that to feeling like regular. I don't know if it was just

the switch off from just feeling regular of feeling so fucking happy or if it was an actual physical thing of not having that week and a half of like having it every day all day long, you know, but I definitely crashed and it felt terrible. And I was looking forward to taking one a week later when I had to do something for the surgery that was going to be, but I, and I, but the only reason why I didn't do it is because I like, I never want to go through that having to be back on it and feel good and then having that day where I feel so terrible, you know, those couple of days that I felt so terrible, had to get used to being normal again.

You know, it's kind of like when I quit smoking, I'd never smoke again because I'd never want to have to go through the awful time of quitting something. That's always the worst than the most painful, right? I wish I'd never started smoking cigarettes. You smoke now? Yeah, I do. I've smoked for, I don't know, like 26 years.

Yeah, it's hard. I mean, I quit. I smoke for 15 years. I quit on my 30th birthday. I haven't smoked for 22 years, 21 years. But that was, I'm a good quitter. I have very good willpower. Like if I, you know, I quit alcohol, I quit drinking, I quit smoking.

I got you good for willpower. You have good willpower? You quit a lot of things. No, I got you good for it. What? I'm so easily addicted and like, kind of like I just jump from stuff to stuff. Like, started out doing meth when I was really young, and then I quit that and quit marijuana for a while and then picked up an alcohol addiction and a painkiller addiction.

And then now I went back to marijuana. Well, listen, an addiction isn't about the drug. It's about, you know, whatever it is you're trying to like push down or not feel, right? It's about, to me, it was always about me not feeling comfortable with my feelings, you know, and having to learn how to feel comfortable. What? It's all escape for me as well. I mean, I ended up addicted to a multiplayer online video game for about two years just because I could hide in that world and escape from mine. Yeah, I used to get brain tumors or like breast cancer.

Like I was like a hypochondriac. You know, that was just another form of it. You know, it was just a form of checking out of reality and not dealing with my feelings and just creating this thing. It's like, you know, worry. Worry is you something you could be addicted to it. It is like an anchor, right? It takes you out of yourself and into this like fucking fake place. You know, it's like all these fake diseases I had.

It's the same shit, you know? So I think that a lot of people, they call them like dry drugs. You know, if you're not really dealing with the underlying. stuff and that stuff takes a long time. Listen, you don't, you're not schizophrenic and have all this stuff on you if, you know, without having gone through probably some pretty horrifying things, right, at some point in your life. So, and that stuff takes a long time to unpack, right? It's not like the movies. You don't get better overnight, right? But doing therapy and, you know, getting yourself off of things and, you know, being sober, sober as you could be while you're going through

therapy and working through it. All of that really helps, you know, but it takes time. It does. Yeah, yeah, it takes a long time. I don't know how long I'll ever be in therapy or if I'll ever stop, you know. Yeah, that's okay. Therapy's great, especially, listen, you found a good therapist. You've been with that therapist for five years. That's very hard to find. It's like finding the one, right, to date. It's no different. Oh, yeah. She's a miracle worker. Like, I don't know how much she gets paid, but I'm pretty sure it's not enough. And that's hard to find. And that's hard to fine, I'm telling you. I think it's like the 90, 10, rule, or 80, 20. You know, most people are garbage out there, but there's like, you know, a select few that are really good in each

profession, whether it's you're looking for a hairdresser or a fucking therapist, you know. So you found a really good one. You're very lucky. And with all the stuff you've been through and all the stuff you're dealing with, you know, working through, it's so great that you found that right one. So you never want to give that shit up, you know, but I know. I'm going to hang under her for Dearline. Yeah, no, it's great. And, and, And like, you know, I don't know, we've been really all over the place on this call. We touched a pot. You have so much stuff to talk about that I'm like, I try to get it all in.

And I only have an hour. So we touched a little bit on a lot of stuff, you know. But I think it gave, I think it's interesting because it gives people like a good view of like your whole life. What I think it's most interesting about you is how honest you've been about all your stuff that you're dealing with. And what I think is also interesting that people will like the table. takeaway is that, you know, people, women have been completely accepting of exactly who you are and you just put it out there right away. It's a new thing for you, but it does go to show that other people maybe could have that same, could do the same thing, you know, because I would

assume that that's very freeing for you in your life to just be who you are. Also, just telling the truth all the time. It's really easier to remember. Oh my God, I know. Every now and then I get a liar on my show, you know, and I kind of want to say, and I don't really, but like, you know, because there's a struggling to tell their stories. And it's like, you know what? Like, if you would just fucking tell the truth, it's really not that hard, you know, a lot of times people are telling me they're nervous to be on my show. And I'm just like, you know, all you have to do is tell the truth. And that's really fucking easy, right? Because I'm going to ask all the questions. But if somebody's not and they're trying to think things of, that's exhausting, you know, just

like your girlfriend that lived all those fake lies. And she was always, you know, that's a whole other thing. I mean, she needs her own therapist, you know. But yeah, I think it's always a lot easier to just be honest and be truthful and put your stuff out there. But so thanks for being honest and truthful on my show. And, you know. Thanks for having me. It's been a blast. Yeah, I will let you know when this airs. I'm not really sure I have so

many fucking taped, so many, I'm starting to think maybe I'm going to start airing two episodes of week because I just have, I just am so backed up with episodes that I haven't aired people that called me like in margin. April still I still oh wow yeah because you are you do have quite the backup yeah I have like 10 to tape like next week you know so I'm just like yeah I don't know what and so people wait sometimes a long time um but you know yours touched on so many different things that I haven't had on like because the micropenus and stuff so you'll probably get on sooner than later I'll let you know when it's going to air and thanks so much for calling in Chad oh no thank you for having me on I think this has been quite wonderful this has been awesome I can't wait

to see this on YouTube. Awesome. It would be interesting. Yeah, let me know what you think after you listen to it. Yeah, I'll be sure to let you know. Okay, cool. Thanks, Chad. Bye.

Thank you. Bye. So that's it, guys. That's my talk with Chad. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. Thanks so much for tuning into my show. I always love hearing from my listeners. If you're on YouTube, comment below.

If not, and you want to send me a message, DM me on Instagram at Strict Anonymous. If you love my show, give me a five-star review. you and don't forget to subscribe. Thanks for tuning in. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available not only in paperback and e-book, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a

cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang being girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person. And they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person. And I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like Penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. 17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format, and finally, the audiobook is available coming out August 25th. But you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it,

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