Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 412 - Sloane Fox and her Husband are Into Polyfidelity and They've had Over 300 Threesomes

Episode Date: September 27, 2021

Sloane Fox and her husband are into polyfidelity and they've had over 300 threesomes and she calls in to talk all about it. When did her and her husband realize they were into polyfidelity? When did they open up their marriage? And, how did opening it up actually strengthen their relationship? Tune in for all the details which include what polyfidelity is and exactly how they structure their polyfidelitous relationship, how they recruit for their “pod” that includes all the other people they are in relationships with, how everyone is fluid bonded and what that actually means, , the emotional bonding they have with the people in their pod and why jealousy never comes into play, how she has a girlfriend and has had many boyfriends and what she does with them, how and why she prefers mmf threesomes over ffm threesomes, her most memorable threesome that took place at Burning Man in the infamous Orgy Dome and what exactly went down, the threesome she had in a church (?!), what spit roasting is and why she digs it and a whole lot more. **To get free threesome advice from Sloane, email her at [e-mail] To get more sex tips on how to have successful threesomes, click here: https://bit.ly/2XMlf0c **To see anonymous pics of Sloane + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the strictly anonymous podcast. Strictly anonymous podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. The Craigslist is definitely like the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Santa Paul or Thailand. You can't not do it.

The temptation is just too much. It's real problems. Do your friend know that you're banging her or no? No, he has no idea. And anything goes. The motto of the show, let your freak flag fly. Probably the only good advice I'll ever give you is to rehire. your wits and chain. Here is your host, Kathy. Hey, welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast with Kathy.

If you want to follow the Strictly Anonymous podcast on Instagram or Twitter, follow the show at Strict Anonymous. If you want to be on the show, this is a call in advice show where I talk to total strangers about all kinds of things. Look at the titles. Most of the time people are calling in telling me about their secret lives or their naughty lives or their super interesting lives while remaining. Totally anonymous. I change everybody's voices, okay? Not one voice you hear is the right voice. And it's so funny because when I change the person's voice, probably like after two hours of editing, I like, I take the change off just to hear the regular voice to make sure it's different. And when I hear the regular voice, they sound like a fucking chipmunk. It's like it's so weird how like I get so used to the fake voice that when I listen to the real voice, the real voice sounds like a fake weirdo

voice to me. It's just very bizarre. But everyone's voices are changed. If you want to be on the show, I'm taping people again. Send me an email, strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com, or go to my website, strictly anonymous podcast, and click on be in the show. And make sure in that email to explain to me in a couple of sentences what you want to talk about. So today I have on Sloan Fox. She has had threesomes and foursums and moresums. Okay, she turned me on to that word foursum, moresums.

I think I'm going to put it in the title. She also teaches me about a lot of other terms, right? including polyfidelity. Okay? Polyfidelity is a type of relationship she's in. She's been with her husband for a very long time. And they have an open relationship. They are fluid bonded.

You're going to find out what that means. I like fluid bonded because it's all about protection. They sleep with a lot of people and they, but they have like a pod. It's like set up in a very interesting way. I've spoken to a lot of swingers. I spoke into a lot of people. have open relationships. I've spoken to a couple people that have had poly relationships,

but what they have set up, not only does it really work, it's super interesting because it's different than any other kind of open poly, swinger, threesome relationship that I've ever had on before, okay? Make sure to listen to the end because you can email her and get more information about how to have a successful threesome yourself. Whether you're a man or a woman, she has the info that will help you. So anyway, I'm going to be right back on with Sloan Fox. Hey Sloan Fox. Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast. How are you today? Hey, Kathy. You were forwarded to me, you know, as the like threesome expert. And you supposedly had over 300. So I don't even know where to start. Like this is where I would start. Is are you

in a relationship? Are you doing threesomes with your partner? Did you do them before? Are you married now? Let's start there. Yeah. So I'm married. Very, very high. happily. And currently, my husband and I have a girlfriend. And we also have another girlfriend who doesn't live close by, but we've been dating her for the last four years. And it's so funny, but just recently we went to see her. And I said, you need to start dating, girl. You need to get out there. And I literally went on Tinder while I was in her city and checked out all the guys and started swiping left or right or whatever you do on whichever ones they are. And last night, she called me from her date with the guy that I set her up with on Tinder. And they were like,

we're having a fantastic time. Well, but she'll keep it open and she'll still be available for you for a hookup? I mean, because she was someone you would hook up with, right, in the past? I don't like to use the word hookup because really my husband and I are what we call poly, we have poly fidelity relationships. Oh, I love these new terms. Polyfidelity. Is that what you just said? Yeah, which means you're loyal to the pod.

So over the years of our marriage, the pod of people in our polypod have, you know, gotten larger and smaller as people come in and out. Right now, there's my, our one girlfriend, but I had a boyfriend for a decade who was in the pod with us. And that's where the bulk of my threesome experience came from, because I would basically have a threesome every week with my boyfriend and my husband for a decade. And then I had, then we would have girlfriends who were in our life. And so my girlfriend who doesn't live close to us, she really only have sex with us. And if she decides to have sex with somebody else, they have to screen in and get all their tests and be monogamous to her and to our group. So we're monogamous

to each other, if you will, where we're all in a group together. And we don't have sex with anybody outside the group. But if you want to leave the group and go have sex with other people, you can, but you have to screen back in and get all tested again and et cetera, et cetera. So that's how we do it. Oh, interesting. Now, but wait, so how did you open up your relationship to begin with your with your man. We decided that we were having really hot sex with each other and we wanted to fuck other people. But who says it first? Like who's the first person that's like in how long into your relationship does that come up? Because I think that there's a lot of people listening right that wish they could have what you have. Right. This is the end of the story is you're fucking a million people. You have these pods.

It totally works. You know, you got a system with tests. But you know, how do you get there? Like what's the first conversation? Who brings it up? We opened up our relationship. I don't know who says at first we might have come to the idea at the same time. It probably was me. Right. First we started like asking our friends if they wanted to have sex with us and they were, and they were disgusted by us and they thought we were perverts. And so we were like, oh, that wasn't a good idea. And then a friend introduced us to a group of poly people because we're in California and, you know, kind of at the birthplace of Polly. And that's when we realized, okay, a lot of people end up having these long-term lovers who are part of the family, if you will.

So one of my best friends, she had a boyfriend for, he's probably did in her life for 15 or 20 years, and her husband had a girlfriend, and they didn't play together. They each made love with each other as a couple, and then they also had their boyfriend or girlfriend, but that was kind of their limit. where for my husband and I, my husband doesn't want to be excluded. He doesn't want to miss anything. He wants to play together. So he really likes having threesomes and foursums and moresums with our lovers who's

ever in our pod at the time because he likes that a lot. I personally also like what's called parallel play where maybe my husband and his girlfriend are making love and I'm with my boyfriend and we're making love next to me. each other, but we're not necessarily doing a foursome. Because when you think about group sex, when you think about two people side by side, which I always recommend to couples when they're like, we're interested in fucking other people. What do you think we should do? And I'm like, the first thing you should do is fuck your partner next to another couple that also might be interested. Because there's a lot, and this is one of the things I wanted to tell you about, there's a lot about the

energy and the heart connection that's very important when you're dealing with the group dynamic. So I want a parking lot that and come back to it because it is, to me, one of the biggest things about how to make a threesome really hot. But the first part about how to make a threesome really hot is this notion of inclusion, not being excluded. When you have group sex of any kind, more than just two people. What works best is when everybody agrees that if the moment they feel left out, they say

hey, I feel left out or can you guys bring me in, I'm feeling shy or whatever. And then everybody's like, sure, baby, come here, get in, you know, we want you because it does, you tend to spin out. Like, somebody's getting all the attention and you're not

the one and you're giving attention but you're feeling a little awkward and what do you do? You say, I'm feeling a little awkward, bring me in. And that ups the love and heart connection again so you feel good. Do you teach people how to have three cents? You seem like you're very focused on like, you know, like the bigger picture of really like how it works, what people should do.

And I'm assuming it's because you've just been doing this for so long, right? Well, I don't really teach people how to do threesome. I'm a sensual ambassador at a passionate lovemaking company. That's how we met through Susan. And I helped her out part-time. We're friends. And I have written some things and recorded some things like the empowerment of a threesome recording that I made.

You know, just to give people the understanding of how empowering it is to make love with more than one person. One of the greatest things I think about having group sex is that the women, when they're, and the men too, when the lovers are vocal, when they're moaning and they're coming and they're like, ah, it's contagious. Right. The turn on is raised by the people's expression of pleasure. It's kind of like when you go to a sex party and you see this room full of people all fucking all over the room in various, you know, configurations. And it's just hot when you can see people not embarrassed, not ashamed, taking their pleasure, creating pleasure together, getting off on each other.

When the room is all getting off on it, everybody getting off, I mean, that's one of, to me, the best dynamics of group sex from threesome to foursum to moresons is that it's hot because it's like hot times, whatever, you know? That makes it really good. You get off on it. It's just really sexy. Right. It's that extra energy that's there.

It's so different than why, like, you know, big group gatherings are so supercharged, right? Like going to a concert. It's like it's because you got all that other energy there with you. you're all experiencing it together and you feed off that energy right and so typically like when people are having sex they're just with each other right you're feeding off each other so it does make sense that if you put other people in there right around in the same room you now you're feeding off of all that as well which of course it's going to add to it if you're open to it right yeah and now how far you know did you guys have to discuss like what you guys were into do you have boundaries do you have rules and

regulations. I mean, I've heard all different kinds of setups, you know, with couples that have open relationships. Do you consider yourself in an open relationship? Because I know that you labeled it before something different. I mean, it's in the category of open, but it's not open in that we have sex with a bunch of people. We only have sex with the people who are screened in what we call fluid bonded. I'll give you, there's another term for you. Have you heard fluid bonded? No, fluid bonded. Going back to the did you wear condoms thing, we don't need to wear a condoms because we've taken all our tests and we're monogamous to the group so we don't fuck anybody out of the group. Right. And then that means there's all fluid exchanges on the

table. And we don't have to worry about a lot of negotiation because we've been having sex with each other, you know, sometimes for decades. Right. So there isn't a lot of do I need to, you know, create a safe container, do I need to establish boundaries, because we already know those things. So we just see what we feel like doing in the moment with who's ever in the moment. So sometimes it's my husband and I and our girlfriend. Sometimes it's my husband and I and our boyfriend. Sometimes it's my husband and my boyfriend and my girlfriend and my girlfriend. And sometimes our other girlfriend who lives far away.

but she visits and then it's with her too. So one of the really hot things we've had recently was the three of us girls with my husband. That's one that was really fun. We called it the three by three. Right. And then another one that was, we always have fun two girls with one guy. But my personal favorite is two guys with me. And I can tell you why I like that the most and what I love about it.

Do you do double penetration with those guys? Well, I have done double penetration, and I've even had both cocks in my pussy at the same time. Oh, really? What is that called? I call it too much cock. I was like, I can still those cocks in my throat. Too much cock. A lot of fucking cock. Oh, yeah, that's hilarious. Too much cock for me.

Too much cock for mommy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I did like trying it, and that was fun. But what I like better is where they're both. Like one guy is lying down on the bed with his legs kind of down on the floor. So his butt's towards the edge. I'm straddling him and cowgirl style. And I can fuck him and then pull off of him.

And my husband or my boyfriend, whichever one, can be behind me and fuck me doggy style while I'm kissing my boyfriend or whatever. You know, it's sort of like going back and forth between. I'm deciding which fuck I wanted my put. See? That's the fun. I like that. That's fun. But two cocks or a cock in my ass and a cock in my pussy. It's just a lot of cock for me. Right. That's so much cock. I mean, it's like a party trick. And I'm always up to try a party trick, but it's not the languorous, relaxed, pleasurable, you know, thawing into sensation together experience that is my preferred kind of threesome. Right. And now, I'm assuming you hook up with the girls, right? Is your, is your husband hooking up with the guys at all? Or is he strictly just with the females? All the men in our group through the ages have been basically straight. Right.

We've had some experiences like where the guy was bisexual and he wanted to suck my husband's cock. And, you know, my husband did it. But he was like, I kind of closed my eyes and just didn't think about who it was. Yeah, right. It's what's the difference. Because he's straight. Yeah. But he's not homophobic and he doesn't mind if the swords cross or, you know, he doesn't I mean, a lot of sex positions and threesome, especially if it's two guys and one girl, my personal favorite.

Yeah. And the reason I say that is everybody thinks a threesome is two girls and one guy. Well, it's not. And when a woman is lucky enough to be like, yeah, I want two guys to fuck me really well. Right. She is getting out of being in the service mode and getting into the receive mode. and getting into the receive mode that I really want more women to step into. Right.

I want to encourage women to be like, yeah, mama, you deserve this. And it's freaking great. So please help yourself do a couple of Cox. Why do you think it is? Like, you know, it is really looked at a three-some. You really mostly think, oh, male, female, female, right? And you're here to say, like, women should embrace that. Do you have an idea of, or like, why women don't?

I mean, I do. I think it's maybe society. is like, you know, they, you know, they have that whole slut thing hanging over them. One is that they're afraid to ask for too much. Yeah. One is that they're service-oriented rather than receive-oriented. Another is that guys can be homophobic, so they're like, I don't want to be a fucking guy. I'm not a fucking, you know, blah, blah, whatever, like that.

Or they don't want to see their woman being taken by another man, though that's a big fucking turn on to a lot of guys, too. That's what I've learned on my show. It is a big fucking turn on to our guys. It's so true. Yeah. So I think it's most like societal conditioning and, you know, all the normal stuff. But that's why I always am like, girls, you can have two guys. And it's awesome.

Yeah. But don't you think, and I think this, and I don't know if you felt this in the beginning when you were starting to have three reasons with your guy, but I think that this would be the case for a lot of women. Is that, you know, as much as their guy would say, oh, yeah, let's do it. I think a woman would be afraid that afterwards her guy would judge her for it. You know what I mean? Like he might, you know, it's that Madonna horror kind of complex that a lot of guys will be like,

yeah, I want to fuck you on the first day, but then I'm not going to date you. You know, it's like, yeah, I want you to fuck my friend, but now I can't see you as girlfriend material. And I think there's going to always be, maybe not with the younger generation because there's so much more open-minded, but I think there's going to be a little bit of that for, you know, that fear in women thinking that that might happen. There might be repercussions. I think the best men are, as lovers, are men who are constantly encouraging their female partners to go for it, to have more, to telling them what a great job they're doing and to enjoy themselves and never shaming them always.

Right. Being the wind beneath their wings to lift them toward their orgasmic possibility and their relaxation and their acceptance of their body. and their joy of connection. And, you know, that guy who never makes you feel bad and is always encouraging you to take your pleasure and to do more and to have what you want, that's the guy we want to fuck. That's the guy we want to keep around who's not ever bringing us down. He's lifting us up. Right.

A lot of guys aren't even aware when they're shaming. Right. That's what I was going to say. I think it's important for us to say, you know, when you said that, I felt like you were ashamed of my behavior. And I want to draw your attention to that being a down for me. And if they're good with, oh, yeah, I can see how that, I can see how you felt that way. And I'm not going to do that again. And I'm sorry, I love you, and you're so fucking sexy to me.

And thank you for letting me know. I've got, that's not going to happen again. Just raising the awareness, because we are laboring under these societies. constructs. And when we're having group sex and we're doing things that aren't really modeled out there in positive ways for most people, we really do need to be more communicative of when we feel a contraction happen. Right. But what about when you said early on you were like going to your guys friends first? Like that's where you were trying to, you know, get people into your pod. I mean, you know, and your friends were kind of looking at you like, what the fuck? You know, did you lose friends? Or did we,

people very judgy, did you decide to keep this part of you and your husband's relationship like a secret? Or are you guys very open about what you do? We're not open, but if, but I'm on your show and I'm talking about it. Right. You know, so I do stand for a, if, if I hadn't been, And if I didn't have a great marriage and beautiful relationships, you know, it would be one thing, but, and I don't, I don't have to worry about, I mean, I work in a passionate lovemaking publishing company, so it's not like it's going to affect my job. Right. You know, like I'm celebrated for being who I am.

The reason I have the job is that I'm who I am. Right. And so I do, but I don't put myself out there much. And I certainly don't, you know, spend a lot of time telling people what my life is like. So, you know, I'm kind of riding the line there. I don't shout it out because it triggers people. And I don't ever want people to feel badly about being with me like, ooh, she's some kind of a herb. But so did you know that you were attracted to females?

Were you with women before you hooked up with your guy? Or was this something that you did for the first time at a threesome with him? I was with women in my 20s. Starting early. I've always been more interested in men, but I like playing with my lover girlfriends. Would I be in a strictly lesbian relationship? No. Do I love to make love to my girlfriends? I do. And I'm getting better and better and better at it as the years go on. You know, it's practice makes perfect. So just recently, I had a really good. time. I bought a couple of strap-ons and put some dildos out and showed them to my girlfriend and we tried

them on and played with them and like, you know, slapped each other's dicks around and did all that kind of stuff. And then my other girlfriend, I had this fantasy of me wearing this cock and lying down and her getting on top of me and making out with me and fucking this cock while I was wearing it. And at first, it was like, I was on this crazy ride, you know. And then I got kind of used to it. And then I was able to like undulate my body and kind of move with her and we slowed into a rhythm. We kind of had to get used to it. Instead of her just like fucking the dildo, we were making love with each other. Our energy started flowing together. And I really enjoyed that. That was fun too. So I just continue to become more confident with my girlfriends and they become more confident with me and we

have more fun together as we gain experience, which is what it's all about is getting better as you go. Right. Now, do you, so I'm assuming you guys play alone too. Like, I mean, you don't always have to have your husband or partner there. Does he play with women without you? We do always play together. And he, like, maybe they'll make love and I'm off doing something and, you know, like maybe I'm making dinner. Right. They're making love. Yeah. And then I join them if I feel like it.

And so it just ends and flows. It's just whatever anybody feels like. Right. But where do you find these people to come into the pod? I mean, did you start at first looking for the girlfriend? Was it the girl that started first? And then how do you find your boyfriend? You know, you had the boyfriend first.

How did you find that? guy. Do you remember? I mean, it was long ago, right? Yeah, it's always online dating. Right. And you go on a lot of meet and greets and I'm very upfront about the fact that I'm in an open relationship that you'd have to screen in,

you'd have to be monogamous, you'd have to like group sex, my husband's not going to be left out, I really like MFMs, you have to carry your weight, you have to have a loving heart, you know, and then it really comes down to are they appealing, attractive, good body,

dynamics, good health. Do they show up? Are they reliable? Are they responsible? Are they good to date? Do they bring joy? You know, are they going to be allowed in? An age range? Are you guys open? How old are you guys? And do you look for younger partners of people around your age? Do you like it? So that, you know, because you do have, like you said, you wanted to be loving and caring. So you have to like the people, right? I mean, it's not just a sexual connection. You have to love them. Right. For us. Not like. Love. Love. This is about Right, that's a Polly. This is like your, that's Polly.

Yeah. Polly is a loving family. Mm-hmm. And for some Polly people, they don't even have sex with each other. But our Polly, you know, this Polly has a lot of flavors. Our Polly is deep love, joy, affection, friendship, everything. We're best friends that also have super hot sex together in lots of configurations, depending on, you know, who's in the pod at the time.

Right. And so how, what's the most that's been in the pod? Like five people, ten people? Five. Five. Uh-huh. Five. Mm-hmm.

And they typically tend to stay for a decade? Years. Right. Some, sometimes a year. Divorced men will get out of a marriage, want to have experience. They'll come into the pod. they'll have a bunch of fun and then they want to go off and

get a full-time girlfriend. They're more, you know, traditionally minded. And that does get tiring over the years where I've had to remediate a lot of men from super shitty relationships where they never got fucked or got loved enough. And then

they get all filled up and fixed and then they leave. Yeah, oh, that's so funny. You're like the mama bird and the NASDA, like that they just fly off and, you know, you raise them and they're all better and then they fly out and see later. It gives you a lot of compassion and understand, compassion for and understanding of people in their journeys.

Right. And acceptance of the fact that it is their journey, right? And you need to be okay with that, right? And just let them fly and be free, right? Yeah. And so now how many people are in your pod now? And what's like the hottest threesome you ever have, or can you pick? Well, I was thinking about a couple of highlights.

Right now, it's three women and one man, and I'm currently interviewing for a new lover, which is really fun. How do you interview? Yeah, interviewing is very interesting. We'll come back to it if we have time. But, yeah, I think one of my favorite threesomes ever. Well, my all-time favorite threesomes are with my husband and my boyfriend, and I really do want to spend some time talking about what's called the MFM, male, female male.

Yeah. Because I do want to encourage more men to be willing to give women this incredible gift. Right. But one of my very favorite threesomes was at Burning Man in the Orgy Dome. Mm-hmm. It was my girlfriend and my husband and I, and I, and I dressed up as a unicorn, and I dressed, one of the things I love about my girlfriend is she will let me dress her up. Mm-hmm. She loves to be dressed up.

And so I bought her this adorable unicorn outfit. And it had like the little unicorn tail and the cute little horn and the little iridescent dress and the little furry boots. And she looked so cute. Right. And that I had a whole unicorn outfit on too. And we had a, we were two unicorns fucking this guy in the Orge Dome at Burning Man. I can remember one of the fun things about three things with three things.

another woman is. It doesn't even have to be a woman, but one of the things is fun is making out around a guy's cock. Right. Where you're kissing each other and passing his cock back and forth and kind of like just wrapping your mouths around it and kissing each other. And I remember that our little unicorn horns were like, it was like a sword fight on. A sword fight on our hands. So funny. So cute. And at one point, after my girlfriend had fucked my husband in her unicorn outfit, I was going to give him a blowjob. But there was all this unicorn hair, like, wrapped around the base of his cock. She'd fucked off her unicorn ponytail, you know, her little tail that she was wearing

and got caught and got, like, caught around. So I had to, like, break this unicorn hair off of this cock to go down. Oh, my God, hilarious. This is that. Birding man. I mean, if people don't know about Burning Man, go look at the hot outfits everyone's wearing around there, right? I mean, that's like what you do, a burning man. Now, you say you're in the Orgy Dome. Is that like other people are having sex there too right in front of you?

And you guys are in front of other people, right? Mm-hmm. We're in, we're at an orgy. Yeah. In a big, it's like a big tent. And it's, you know, lighted, but low-lighted. And there's mattresses all over. And there's just people fucking everything.

Everywhere and there we were in the middle of it all in the middle of this orgy having our threesome Right. Dressed up as unicorns and it was just a it was a sparkle magic moment. Yeah, I've heard I've heard a lot of Burning Man stories. I think a lot of people would say that about Burning Man, you know, a lot of crazy shit goes down there. And it's visually kind of stunning, right? Because there's a lot of art and there's a lot of people dressed up in a lot of things. You're right.

I mean, that's what you do. That's why, you know, you guys have the unicorn outfits on. People should Google Burning Man and see how people walk around. And, you know, it's like a sci-fi kind of situation in the middle of the desert, right? It's very sci-fi looking. Yeah. Yeah. So now you wanted to talk a lot, like you said, about the male male.

Like, is it the guy that's the problem of, like, allowing another guy in? Or is it more so, like, how does he get his girl to be into it? Because I think maybe a lot of guys, be down for that, but they're afraid that their wife would be like, what the hell are you talking about? I can't answer the question as to what holds people back from having incredible pleasure with more human

beings. That's everybody's individual, you know, shame roadblocks or whatever, or they never thought about it. Like, oh, I never, I always thought it was just two girls and one guy, I never thought I could have a second with you guy, oh, well, now, maybe I want to have that, you know?

And, yeah, it is harder, I think, for guys to be comfortable with each other in that dynamic. But when two men make love to a woman, and they do it together, and they're very comfortable with each other, and they're very supportive of her surrender to her pleasure, and they are both taking their pleasure and delivering pleasure, that's a really beautiful moment because I remember, I was out of sex parties. And I've been to a lot of sex parties with my husband and sometimes with our partners. Right. But we tended to never have sex with other people at sex parties.

We had sex with ourselves at sex parties because we're fluid bonded. They're not in our screening group. So we haven't had them do their paperwork and get their tests and all that stuff. so we can't really have sex with them. So we can do things like what's safe is, your hands on their genitals, but no mouth on genital or genital to genital touch, because that's where most of the disease spreads. Yeah. So we tend to keep to ourselves, but we would have sex at sex parties.

And my husband's definitely an exhibitionist. I'm not so much, but he loves it and he loves, like, if there's a sex party, and there's a DJ and there's a roiling, writhing floor of people fucking, my husband wants to be up on the speaker, getting, you know, fucking on the speaker by the DJ on the top where everyone can see him. That reminds me of another reason I had that was really good. We were at a sex party in a church. The sex party was in the church?

Yeah, our sisters of perpetual indulgence, which is primarily, a gay group. They own a property in Sonoma, California, that had a chapel as part of it. And so we went to a sex party there. And I had a threesome in the pulpit with my husband and my boyfriend of the time dressed up in a bridal outfit. So it was like I was the bride at church getting fucked by two guys. And everyone was on the floor below us in this roiling, riding, sex party and we were up there and everybody was like watching us do this threesome up on the pulpit. So that's my husband. He likes that kind of like exhibitionist type of thing. And my boyfriend at the time, he loved it too. They both really loved it. It wouldn't be what I would be drawn to, but I don't mind indulging.

One of the things that I found about sex is that if everybody feels free to share their fantasies. Everybody comes up with really great, fun ideas that you can do and try, and then you end up doing all these really neat things you would have never thought of, but your partners think of them and you're like, oh, yeah, I'll wear a bridal outfit and let you fuck me in a pulpit. Fuck yeah. Right, right. And have everybody watching because you know that he's into it. Yes. And you're doing it for him. But then you wind up enjoying it too. Of course. I mean, that it ended up to be one of my best threesome memories ever. Right. What is the name of that church again? Are sisters of perpetual indulgence. Right. And so that's like a group, you said, and it's...

They own the property and rent out that place. I'm not sure if they do anymore, but they used to. San Francisco type of thing. Oh, right. Yeah, I guess. Yeah. No, totally. I mean, I just, you know, you don't know that these places exist, but they do, right? And this stuff is going down. That's what my show's all about, kind of, right? People are talking. about it. So they're like, you know, there's probably people listening in San Francisco and are like, I never knew that place was there, you know. So you're, you know, so the guy needs to, for the male male, male, female hot threesome that you enjoy so much, right, to get the girl to be open to it, right? And you were saying that the guys need to also be open to the fact that they should be able to allow the man to come in. I don't know. What are your like tips for guys? or for women to, so that they can enjoy that kind of threesome. Yeah. I remember where I was going with that, too.

I was at a sex party. Yeah. I got, I got off on a, I got off a phone. No, I'm glad you figured it out. Yeah. But I was at a sex party and I was having sex with my husband, probably. Yeah. And I look over across the room and there's a woman who I'm still friends with to this day.

I absolutely love her. She is bent over doggy style. She's sucking one. guy's cock and she's getting fucked from behind by the other guy. Yeah. And I looked at that and I'm like, I want that. Right. I want to suck a cock and get fucked at the same time.

And I learned later that most people call that spit roasting. Oh, really? That's what that's called? Yeah, you've got a cock in your mouth and a cock and your pussy. Uh-huh. So everybody always thinks with an MFM threesome. It's like, oh, double penetration. And that's like, oh, God, that's exactly what I said.

I know. Everybody thinks that's what it is. And I'm sure there are a lot of women who want double penetration, and that's fine. But, you know, that's a lot of dick in one place. Right. Especially if you've got guys with big, healthy, you know, what I like to call bang and boners. Right. So, you know, I mean, yeah, but that's a lot.

So when I saw her doing the, you know, giving oral and getting fucked at the same time, and that really intrigued me. And I don't remember, it was just about that time when I was like, I want to get a boyfriend. And I need like a full-time boyfriend to come and fuck me. And my husband was like, that's fine, but he better like threesome because I don't want to be left out.

And I was like, okay. So we started doing our, and I met a guy on online. I think it was like, okay, Cupid. I just saw a thumbnail and I was like, who's that, you know? And he was just really handsome, and he was totally normal, straight guy. He'd only ever, you know, he was never to a sex party, never even heard of Polly. I mean, you vaguely heard of Polly.

But he liked the idea. It was appealing to him. Right. He didn't mind being not the primary guy. He didn't mind that I was married. He enjoyed the relationship he had with both of us. Right. And he loved me, and I was his girlfriend, and I was his main squeeze, and he never,

dated anybody for year after year after year, he just loved being with us. So it worked out really well. And over those years, we started getting really good in bed together as a threesome. And one of the real tips, you know, how I started off with one of the most important things is feeling included. And if you don't feel included saying something and being brought back in, don't let yourself spin out. Yeah. That's important. And then the second thing is the energy exchange.

So when you have, you know, if you and I are making love, we've got all our attention on each other. And that's a great thing. And it's pretty easy. And the only thing we have to worry about is not thinking about the stuff we have to get done or other things that are happening in the world, but to keep our connection, our heart connection together and our presence here with each other. Like you and I are doing that right now.

We're just having a conversation, playing off each other. We're not doing anything else, but being here in the moment with each other, which is one of the reasons your show is so good is that you're actually very good at that. You're very good at staying present. Right. And that's, I think, one of the reasons why you're probably also a very very good. good lover because you can stay in the sensations of hot sex, even in the talking about it. So what now imagine, here we are, you and I together, and now there's a third person.

Oh, okay. So the minute I take my attention off of you and onto the other person, now we're disconnected. But what you learn from being in really good heart-connected threesome is that let's just say we have our third i'm feeling you you're feeling me i'm feeling you feeling me i'm feeling our third our lover they're feeling me they're feeling you and this is where the higher level comes in if two guys are making love to you right now they're both feeling you they're both feeling each other This is what men have to learn that's easier for women because of our socialization. We can be feeling each other and feeling our third. But men have to learn to really connect with each other.

Yeah. And they have to feel each other through her because you can't just be willy-nilly pumping away without feeling what's going on with the other person and their dynamic with the person you're with. And so the example of a cock in my pussy, a cock in my mouth simultaneously. The person who is the cock in the mouth, that guy has to set the pace. He's like, you know how there's the rowers in the oarsman in the boats? Yeah. And then there's the one that's the pace.

the cock in the mouth always sets the pace. The cock in the pussy is the oarsman following the pace. Because when you, as the woman in this situation, when you surrender and you are just open to the sensation that they are delivering, you don't want it to be co-coffative. You don't want it to be like, this guy's going, pounded my pussy and this guy's like pound in my mouth and I'm like out of, spinning out of control sensation

wise. What you want is for there to be a limbic connection that the current of energy runs in a circle through everyone. It runs through us all feel each other. It's like you become one

unit. Right. And how do you encourage guys to, well I guess for you, Because, you know, in the Polly situation that you have set up, I mean, you're playing with the same people, right, over and over. So your guy gets comfortable with your boyfriends, right, over time. And how long does that typically take for people to get that connection really going? Ten times.

Right. And you start to get, you know, the ability to really run that energy and feel more calm. Mm-hmm. And do you guys ever have any? kind of jealousy or, you know, stuff like that that I think people are really afraid of happening if they do bring other people into the bedroom in their relationship. Has stuff like that happen? And how, if it has, how have you guys dealt with it?

What you always, there's this, there's this phrase called compersion. Have you heard that word? No. C-O-M-P-E-R-S-I-O-N. Compersion is the general. that you get from your partner's joy. Right. And when you see your partner having really hot sex with somebody,

if you feel badly about it, it's your own insecurities. And you need to figure out why it's making you feel insecure and why you wouldn't be just happy for them that they're having this incredible experience. So it's really your own shadow work that you're dealing with when you feel jealous. And when jealousy comes up, it's an opportunity to clear and understand your own insecurities. Right. It happened. But when you also focus on the joy that's created, when you're with a partner for a long time,

when you have a lifelong commitment with a monogamous partner and you decide to be in the poly world, what you're really doing is saying, I don't own your genitals, I don't own you. You need to have a fantastic life. And I want you to have incredible sex with people. I want you to have incredible experiences. I'd like to be part of them. Sometimes I won't feel like I want to be. Sometimes I'm just going to go rest in the other room maybe. I'm just not, you know, it's not my day to be part of it. You guys knock yourselves out and have a great time. And other times you're going to be like, I definitely want to be. be included. I don't want to be left out. So you have to wind your way through those issues. And there are times when, you know, let's just say there have been times when my husband and girlfriend have, I've watched them over a year, their first year together, fall madly in love with each other. I've watched their hearts open. I've watched them fall more deeply and deeply in love. I've watched her blossom sexually from having this incredible sex with my husband who is a masterful lover and give her the experiences that she craved her whole life and never got

till she met him. And yeah, there were times when I was like, well, I'm not getting fucked and she's getting fucked. I mean, that's one of the things I actually don't like about the two girls and one guy threesome is there's only one dick. Right. I like a four-sum. I like a male-female-male-threesome, and I like a two-girl, two-guy, four-sum. Those are my two favorite types of group sex experiences, because there's always enough dick for mommy. Right. And you don't feel like you're being left out.

Yeah. When you're left out, you say, I'm feeling left out. Bring me in, and they bring you in. Because nobody wants to be the left-out. one and nobody wants you to be a left out one. But you do have to do what we like to say out here in California. Own your own safety. Your job is to make sure that you're safe, you're not compromising yourself, you're feeling included. We can't read your mind. You have to let us know. Everybody feels left out every once in a while. Everybody feels a little jealous that they're not the one

getting fucked really well in this moment, you know. But you have so many good experiences over the years that those little tiny moments where you're like, I'm not doing, there's nothing compared to the joy and the pleasure that you co-create in these experiences. And when you saw your husband, like really falling for that woman and her falling for your husband, I mean, when you see, did you get a little jealous of that? Or like, was there any fear in you that, you know, that would take away from his feeling of love for you? Because I think that's what people would think. Like, if you, you're loving

her now, you don't love me, right? That's what maybe is someone's biggest fear. Well, those are the zero-cum game, zero-thum game, fixed mindset, fixed-mindset, fixed-pie, you know, mentality people. And we're not those people. We are abundance mindset. Right. Polyamory. Polyamory. Polyammer. Polyammer. means to love many. It's just the same as if you have five children. You love all your children. So, you know, it's very good for us because my husband and I are an extremely stable base. We are the platform. Our love will never end. We will be married until the day we die when we're a hundred years old. Right.

We're not going anywhere. We are unbreakable, unshakable. So no one's going to come in and steal me or steal my husband. And that's very clear. What they come into is a relationship that is satisfying. Like when you date us, you get a boyfriend and a girlfriend. Right. But you should also be teaching people how do you is like what I think,

what you have and what you just explained is what a lot of people are lacking and that's you know and you have to start there and then everything comes because I always feel like yeah if you have a guy that you know like you're you're going to the end with that person and that person's always going to be with you and they're never going to leave you no matter what then what does it matter if they fuck other people right but I think what is deep down inside everyone's biggest fear about opening it up is that there would be an ending of their relationship with that person that person would leave them, right? You know for sure your husband would never, you know, and it's like, I think that's what a lot of couples are lacking, that security within their own relationship. And so, you know,

whether that that stops them from ever opening up or they open up and then it freaks them out and they can't deal with it and it causes like it becomes a messy situation, you know, you're just, you know, you're not the norm, right? You're, but that's why you're here to talk about it and people could learn from you because you guys are much more open-minded. Like, I don't know what you were saying, the sum of whatever people. That's like a lot of people, probably the majority, right? Yeah. Yeah.

I think that the law, you teach you to be on your game a little bit when you've got competition, too. When I see my girlfriend squirting and moaning and screaming and looking adorable in her lingerie and her stripper shoes and my husband is like in heaven and so delighted and I'm making dinner and I'm hearing them and looking at them and I'm like, girl, you just better keep yourself in good shape too. You know, you have to, it does encourage you to play an A game. Right. Which I like. I like to, I like to be challenged. I want some competition in a way. You know, I want to be the best I can be the most. I want to be as beautiful as I can be. I want to be as sexy as I can be. I want to come as well as I can. I want to always be at the top of my game at every age and stage of my life. That's my

mindset is expansion, not contraction. Right. And so that's why you could have all these lovers. I mean, my biggest joke about Polly, like, I could, I just don't know how people could love that many people. It's hard enough just loving one person. I don't have that much. I can't have more than one kid either for that same reason. Like when you kind of correlated to children, I'm like, oh yeah, that's why I could only have one child. Like I just would not. I mean, I could get maybe fucking other people, but being in love with them. And that's taking it to a whole different level, too. But that really is Polly. I mean, I haven't, I've had a couple people on that I've talked about polyamorous couples. And no one has, I've never talked to a couple that has done it

successfully. You know, you guys are, you're the first. And it's, sounds very successful, you know. It is very successful, and we know many other successful Polly people. You do? Yes, we do. Yeah. And there was something else I wanted to say, oh, I know what it was. I was going to tell you about the heart muscle.

Yeah. So a part of what's nice about really, really opening your heart to more than your spouse. Yeah. is that your heart has an infinite amount of expansion potential. It's completely elastic and it will grow and become stronger and feel more love. The more you allow it and the more you stay with the feelings and cultivate the feelings of love, your heart just gets more open. You experience more love in your life.

and when you when you give love you actually feel more love than when you receive love receiving love is even harder for people so a good way when a lot of people say you know I don't I don't have anybody to love I don't feel very loved I say well then start loving yeah for sure the more that you put love out the more you get that muscle working the more love you will get back in return. You can feel totally loved by simply loving. Yes. You feel loved when you love.

Yeah. And then what happens when that relationship goes away is that you get the heart of the door and it opens. But then when that love is gone, it closes and it's painful and it hurts and you're sad. But that's no reason not to open the door of your heart. If you're not loving many people with full abandon because you're worried that it's going to hurt later, then you sacrifice a lifetime of love because of small amounts of pain that eventually subside. You're the richer for loving more people. For sure. I think the basis of commitment phobia is just like that fear of not being able to handle it when the rug is pulled from underneath you. And I was always a commitment phob and never threw myself into anything hardcore. And then I did. And it wasn't a love relationship, but it was something I really committed to. And the rug was pulled from underneath me. And not only did I was I fine with it. I actually was able to work through it very quickly. And then it was really like the most helpful thing for me like failing something really hardcore. Because that's, I realized that was what.

my biggest fear was, was that I wasn't going to be able to handle it, right? And once I realized, not only did I handle it, I handled it better than most people would, I was like, it really released that fear, you know? And I think that that's what's really at the basis, like you say, of, you know, just that fear of that pain, you know, you think it's, and if you have it and let yourself experience fail and have, you'll realize that, yeah, it's painful and it's terrible, but you get through it. And like you say, it's nothing compared to the, the, what you have for most of the time, right? Which is that love and that loving feeling coming out of you, going into you. And then even if it closes, that door closes at some point, it's never going to be equal to

the joy that you felt, right? Yeah. So yeah, I'll still never be polyamorous. But I think that it's like, you know, I think, you know, what you, the whole threesome thing is amazing that you're so open about it, but I really admire the fact that you guys are also really evolved. I mean, when I was younger, I always say this on my show that I always looked at swingers as like the highest evolved being, right? Like I always was like really young, like, oh, I want to get to the place where I don't feel like I own people sexually, right? And I think that there is a, like there is something very evolved about that person that could do that. And I think it takes it to another level, that person who could also open it up and allow their partner to fall in love with somebody else, right?

Because that's a whole different level. And it's amazing that you guys can do it and you're successful and having a great time. Yeah. And continuing to come up with really fun things. I remember we had a foursome just recently with my boyfriend before we broke up after a decade. That was very sad for me. Yeah. But it was time.

and it was interesting because really the reason I broke up with him is that he stopped bringing it. He just wasn't bringing it anymore. Right. And I was like, well, I just need to go off and have some new experiences. I want to continue to rise and to have new trists with life and love and pleasure. And I felt like I was a bit stuck in a rut and, you know, just, you know, just, you know, He was just expecting to show up and get fucked every week. And it was like, but it's the same as it's always been.

It's not new. And I realized, you know, I think this has really run its course. But just before we broke up, we had kind of like one last foursome. And one of the things that I think is really fun about foursums. And this is an interesting thing about sex is that body size and dynamics are actually, like the proportions and dimensions of bodies are pretty darn important, especially when you get into group sex because. If you're trying to, like, have a sex thing where all four of you are being pleasureed simultaneously,

you have to figure out, okay, who's lying down, where's a dick going, where's the pussy? Can I get my hand around? Here's my face. Can you back up a little? Now, can you? Right. And my husband is fantastic at coming up with sex positions. We don't even bother thinking them up.

We're just like, babe, what should we do? Right. Hmm, well, I think if you do this and log down here and then you get your pussy right here. He's the conductor. He's the conductor. Yeah, the confuctor. Yeah. The confuctor, that's good.

But it was really fun to be able to have that foursome. And we all had a fun time and we all were getting off. And when four people are simultaneously moaning and groaning and coming and getting off and it's all going really well, So it's like, we're amazing. How great are we? This is incredible. You feel some good about yourself. That's why that audio I recorded the empowerment of a threesome right after I had one of my first MFM threesomes in Vegas for the weekend that I put together and I like made it happen.

And then I came home and I just talked about what I loved about it and how it empowered. me as a woman, how I felt like such a goddess and, you know, what I loved about it and the moments that were really life-affirming for me. When people think about sex, a lot of times they think through a lens of shame. Oh, you know, it's some dirty thing where people are just like doing these things together, you know, oh, it's a lot of disgusting, you know, and instead I wanted people to be like, no, I see what you're saying about how. how good you felt about yourself afterward for pulling off this incredible experience with these amazing men. It's just a really fun little audio clip that I put together. And I listened to it this morning before, you know, coming on your show today to get myself

back into that moment. It was like over a decade ago. It was a decade ago that I recorded that. It really brought me back to how. how expansive and confidence building that experience was for me. Not to mention all the great orgasms. Right. And now you talk about it.

Now how to do, could somebody just go get that online? Like where is, what, what's the deal with that? It's an audio. Believe it or not, I sell it on Amazon and Spotify and Apple under empowerment of a threesome. But if your listeners want it, you can, just send me an email and I'll give it to you. It's like $9 on Amazon. You don't need to buy it. Send an email to me at my company address, Sloan, SLOA-O-A-N-E. Don't forget the E, Sloan, at

personallifemedia.com. That's my work email. And I don't know how many listeners you have, Kathy, I might get 500 requests. Yeah, hopefully you will. Yeah, for sure. But me and my care team, I mean, this is what we do is we answer people sex questions and we, you know, I mean, that's what my job is to help people have access to our content and whatever it is. And so I'm happy to give away free stuff. You don't need to buy it on Amazon unless you don't, unless it's just like, if you're just a prime member and it's one click, have at it and you don't care about the $9. But it's a beautiful thing.

And I think it's particularly good for women to listen to who are like, I'm interested in doing this. Tell me what the benefits are. And I think it's for men who want to understand what would motivate a woman to want to have a threesome with him and another woman or another guy. So it's really about what's the psychology and the emancipation that comes from getting out of the monogamous. paradigm. And it's sexy and it's very life-affirming. So if you want it, it's my pleasure to give it to you because I love Kathy and I really appreciate. I really appreciate what you do to let people be who we really are and people gain comfort from your fantastic show and how you just get into these desires.

Right. And make other people feel less alone for having them. Yeah, for sure. And isn't it about fucking time? I mean, please. You know, right. So I'm going to include that link, right? I'll put that, well, or your email so that, because you're saying that people will

just email at you, right? And you'll send it to them for free, which is awesome. Yeah. And I have one other thing I can give you, which is at threelix.com. T-H-R-E-L-I-C-K-S, 3-Lix.com. That is my book, The Blow Job Secret, and it also has some extra books that I give you with it, Blow Job Sex Physicians, Falacio and Iromachio,

and Deep Throading and the Gag Reflex. The gag reflex is actually just the beginning of an orgasm. And you can come from sucking cock. And if you're going to do threesome, you have to be, If you're going to do three reasons with a man with a penis owner, it's very important to know how to suck cock really well. And so that's three licks.com, three little licks. You know, my three little licks trick is one of the techniques in the book. So I just have it at three licks.com.

That gets you on my email list if you want more Sloan Fox. And you could just reply to any email I send you and be like, hey, can I have that threesome thing you were talking about? That's another way to do it. It's really up to you how you go about it. I'd rather you go to 3lix.com and then you'll automatically get my email address and I can reply to you. That's actually an easier system for me. Right, right, right. But they could do it either way.

I'd rather. Yeah, girl, most girls need to learn. I'm really here to serve. So I appreciate you giving me the opportunity to hopefully expand some minds and some hearts and some pussies and some dicks. Perfect Sloan. No, for sure. I'm glad that, you know, we went in that direction. I didn't know what to expect talking to you. I think it's great what you have to offer. I hope tons of people go and get, you know, the stuff that you have online. And I will include the links below and thanks so much for calling in. Thank you so much. For having me, cutie. I love you very much. It was nice to talk to you. And thanks for having me on. Thank you, Sloan. Have a nice day. Bye.

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