Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 423 - Brenna and Brian are a Hotwife Couple

Episode Date: November 15, 2021

Brenna and Brian (hosts of the Front Porch Swingers podcast) are a hotwife couple and they called in to talk all about it. How exactly did they meet? How soon after did they open up their relationship? And, how and why have they been so successful at it? Tune in for all the details which Brian’s experience in swinging world before they met, Brenn'as backround and how and why she decided to open up about the kinks in her life, her interest in BDSM and how that was an escape for her, how they were both opposed to an actual relationship at first and what they wanted instead, how they both were interested in seeing each other with other people right from the get go, their initial reservations at first and how they got past them, how Brenna felt the first time she saw Brian with another woman, why they prefer to play separately than with others together, how being with other people adds to their sex life, what they both love about the Hotwire scenario, the pitfalls they’ve encountered and how how and why communication is so important, how Brian is pansexual and why that’s still not really accepted in the lifestyle, Brenna’s first female/female solo play and how she felt about it, the website’s they use to meet partners, what kind of content they post on their onlyfans account, what they talk about on their podcast Front Porch Swingers and a whole lot more. To check out their podcast Front Porch Swingers plus get more info, click here: https://frontporchswingers.com/  **To see anonymous pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. The Craigslist is definitely like the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Singapore or Thailand. You can't not do it.

The temptation is just too much. With real problems. Do your friend know that you're banging her or no? No, he has no idea. And anything goes. The motto of the show, let your freak flag fly. Probably the only good advice I'll ever give you is to rehire. your wits and chain. Here is your host, Kathy.

Hey, welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast with Kathy. If you want to follow the Strictly Anonymous podcast on Instagram or Twitter, follow the show at Strict Anonymous. I'm trying to make my intros shorter nowadays, so I'm going to get right to my guests today. I have on Brenna and Brian. Not only are they hosts of the very popular, front porch swingers. They're also a stagg hot wife couple. And they talk all about how they met, how they opened up the relationship, how and why they became the specifically the stag and hot wife couple, how they play with others. They know specifically exactly what they're into. And they talk about how it all got started, how and why it works for them, what doesn't work for them. There's a lot of

tips in here. This episode is great for a couple wanting to get into the lifestyle or a couple that's in it and maybe it's having some issues. It's very informative. It's also super interesting if you're not even into the lifestyle, but just want to know more about it. Brenna and Brian are professionals and they're open about it. There's no changing voices here. There's no secret Patreon anonymous picks because you could just go to their Instagram and see them there. You could go and hear a lot of hot stories their podcast, the front porch swingers. They also have an only fans account. All of the links to all of their stuff is going to be in the description below. So I'm just going to get right to it and be right back on with Brenna and Brian. Hey, Brenna and Brian. Welcome to the strictly anonymous

podcast. How are you guys today? Great. How are you? Good, Kathy. Thanks for having us. I'm good. Listen, I have seen and known about your podcast for a long time, front porch swingers. You're always up there in the top of the charts. You guys have been married. I don't know a lot of your backstory, which I love. I prefer to go into my calls, not really knowing a lot about the people I'm going to talk to because I want to get that history. You know, I'm curious by nature.

So I'm just going to, you know, what I love to get is your guy's backstory, right? Because you guys are swingers. I would use the words, I think you use the words, hot wife, stag. People love that kind of stuff. I get a little confused, the difference between swingers and cuckolding and hot wife and stack. I think you might be newly polyamorous. I don't know.

That always seems like very difficult for me to grasp. And I haven't had a lot of people that have been successful at polyamorous relationships yet. But how long have you guys been married and how long and like how soon after you guys got married did you open up your relationship? Or I don't know. Is it an open relationship? I don't know, you know. Yeah. I mean, we're a lot of different things.

Yeah. We tend to just say that we're open people. we're open to new experiences. We are not a married couple. We are a committed couple. We are each other's life partners, we say, but we have detailed marriages between us.

And honestly, we look at marriages more of a business arrangement. And we don't want to look at our relationship that way. So, but to answer your question, as far as how quickly we got into this, the answer is very quickly. I think we started dating in December,

and by the time February or March, March rolled around that the following, you know, three or four months later, we were getting into the lifestyle. So it was very quick for us and it's been amazing. We haven't really looked back. Now, how long ago was that? That would have been a little over four years ago. Were you guys experimenting with this in your other relationships or was it something new to both of you with each other? Well, it was brand new to me. I was certainly monogamous before dating Brian, before meeting him. But I was always kind of itching for something else. There was definitely a part of me that wanted more.

And Brian can obviously speak to his experience. Yeah, we started our relationship under the pretense of a BDSM component. So we both had BDSM and K experience in our background. I had some experience with non-monogamy and non-monogamous relationships to a degree in my past and wanted to get back into that and experience it on a deeper level with a partner with whom it really made sense. And once Brent and I got together, because of how we started our relationship with the openness and the honesty and with which we got started, it just made sense to kind of start talking about all of our fantasies and all the things that we would want out of a relationship. And again, very quickly got into the conversation of jumping into the quote unquote swinger world or the nominogamous space.

And now, so did you meet each other on a kink website? So it was actually on Craigslist Casual Encounters. That's where I got all my guests. Years ago, that's where I got all my guests. That's how my show started by, I didn't know where to look for guests for my show. It wasn't going to be a sex podcast. And I just went on to Craigslist. And I posted in the personals because it was free.

And it was like hitting gold. I got millions of people emailing me with all these crazy stories. And that's how my show came about. But I know how, you know, that was like the place to go. when you, you know, if you were looking for anything alternative at the time, right? Well, it certainly was for me. I knew of no other sites. So that was my go-to.

And, I mean, of course, I received hundreds of responses and most of them were absolutely horrible. But Brian's message was so eloquent and thoughtful. And even though I was specifically looking for kind of kinky, sexy things, he reached out to me like I was a human being. And what's really interesting, though, is we did not expect to be in a relationship. In fact, I think we both fought it hard because we were both coming out of long-term relationships. We were in this time of exploration. We didn't want to feel chained to anyone. And me especially having this experience of complete monogamy and vanilla relationships leading up to this.

I'm like, I'm not doing that again. So we fought it hard. And, you know, nature takes its course. You just kind of fall in love at the weirdest time sometimes. Yeah, when you're not looking for it, right? But so what do you think was going on with you, Brenna, that you all of a sudden went from being, I would say, maybe you just said, like a vanilla person or involved in that kind of lifestyle to really cross the line and, you know, get into all the things maybe that you've just been fantasizing about? I would have answered this very differently a couple of years ago. But I think I've always been not a vanilla person.

I think I've always been kinky. I think I've always had this part of me that just wanted to burst out and be my true. sexy self. But I think I kept finding myself over and over again in these incredibly vanilla, I would say, boring relationships. And I felt like that was what was expected of me. I grew up in rural Montana. So I didn't know of any other options. I didn't know that people were non-monogamous. I didn't know that people were into BDSM. Like I figured that those things that I wanted, those desires were weird. So I think it took a little bit longer for me to understand that it was okay and I could go after the things that I wanted to. And I was, I was out of a divorce.

I spent, you know, seven or eight months really exploring the BDSM world after that because I just had all of these fantasies and I needed an outlet for it. Right now, are you the Dom or the Sub? I think you're the sub, right? Oh, I actually switch with partners. I mean, with Brian, I am definitely the more submissive one. We refer to ourselves in top and bottoms because I'm not necessarily subservient to him in any way. I'm not that person. Way too strong will for that shit. But I definitely prefer a little bit of submission in the bedroom yet. Yeah, I find a lot of the times. And of course, nothing is ever, you know, 100% one way or the other. But I do find a lot that when I'm talking to people, you know, typically people who are very alpha or dominant in their regular life, they

tend to like the opposite. A lot of times it's that, oh, the CEO of the Fortune 500 company, is, you know, loves to be the sub. So I don't know if that is the case with you guys. I just find that I hear that a lot. Yeah, absolutely. It's an escape. I mean, when I met Brian, I was a fairly high, powered businesswoman. And, you know, managing a lot of people and had a lot of balls in the air.

So, yeah, there was definitely this desire to just relinquish all of that control and get lost in somebody else's sexual energy. And Brian's the perfect person for that because he is all. also with the capital A, and it's easy for him to take the way. So it was so fun exploring that in the beginning. And it was also fun to see it go off in so many different directions as far as us getting into a lot of areas of exploration, not just BDSM. Right.

So how did that happen? So it started with the BDSM. You guys started to hook up, and then those conversations started about all these other things that you guys were into. Yeah, it started out as, you know, us talking about the things that we wanted to, you know, get out of our relationship sexually, what our fantasies were. The conversation went to, you know, what is it that you want to see? And, you know, one of the things was instantly, Brenna wanted to see me with another woman.

And right away, I retorted with, well, I'd really like to see you with another man. And that's from there, 10 days later, we had our first hot wife experience. Oh, there you go. You were both ready. That's awesome. Brenna, did you have any kind of reservations about being with another man? Or was that something that you were also totally down for? I definitely had reservations.

I mean, I was kind of getting pulled in two different directions. One side of me was going, this sounds so hot. I want to do this because my partner thinks it would be hot. And I want to share this with him. And the other side of me is going, good women, quote unquote, don't do these types of things, right? If you want to do these types of things, there is something wrong with you because you have all of this societal expectation on you, especially as a woman. So yeah, I was definitely being torn.

And it wasn't until we had the experience. I had the experience and kind of shared it with Brian in terms of him watching. And then the next day, we were so close. We were closer than we had ever been before. And we had this amazing conversation where I told him, I've never felt so close to someone in my entire life. I love that we shared this together. And Brian agreed.

And it was like, well, then it just makes sense. If it's right for us, then it makes sense, no matter what anyone else thinks. And we really didn't look back from there. But during the encounter, it was very kind of trepidious for me, I would say. Yeah, right? It's the Madonna whore thing that you always worry about, right? Like, if you do see me that way, would that maybe change your mind? And what probably made you feel comfortable doing this with Brian is because of, like you said,

that initial contact with him was so different. I mean, there was something else going on. Like you said, he was treating you like a person. even though you guys were meeting in a very sexual way, right? That and Brian is probably the most sex positive person you could ever meet. I mean, our conversations leading up to that were, you know, him supporting me and all things that I wanted to do, never judging me. I've never once in the entire time I've been with Brian ever felt judged by him.

So there was a lot of comfort in that. I felt safe being able to explore. I don't think I ever would have been able to do that with a person prior to Brian. Right. And that was right off the best. that you guys felt comfortable with each other. Yeah, absolutely. And now that first time that you saw him with the woman,

you had brought that up to him that that was something that you wanted to do. You obviously hadn't done that before. And was it really hot for you the first time? Did you have any conflicting feelings in the beginning? I didn't have any conflicting feelings. I loved it. I thought it was very sexy to see my partner from a removed viewpoint, right? Because when I'm having sex with my end,

It's amazing and I have all of these sensations, but I don't get to really see what it's like to be with him, to be slightly removed. So that first time was actually, we were with a couple and we were playing on the same bed and I saw him with this beautiful woman. They were, you know, she was lying next to me while Brian was pleasing her and doing all sorts of wonderful things to her. And seeing how much pleasure he was giving someone else was a huge turn on to me because it felt like I was sharing something that was so erotic and, amazing with another person. Right. And then there's a whole visual aspect of it as well, if you have a little bit of a voyeur in you to actually be able to see it. Absolutely. For sure. The unfortunate thing when it comes to that is we have a difficult time concentrating on the person that we're with watching each other. So we really don't play together. We play

separately for that reason. I can't focus. Brenna can't focus if we're watching each other. and we don't really pay the requisite respect to the person we're with in that moment. Oh, interesting. And so I guess you guys learn that early on? Yeah. I wouldn't say early on. I did. Well, okay, I kept pushing.

The thing in the swinging lifestyle is that it is very much a heteronormative society. It's very much a couple-for-couple type thing where, you know, a man and woman swap with another man and woman, and it's in the same room. And there was a lot of expectation around that in the beginning to kind of fit that mold. And so we kept going into interactions with other couples, playing with them in the same room. And every single time, it was like, yeah, this isn't that great. We could do better. And it wasn't until probably, I don't know, a year and a half ago maybe that we decided we needed to switch things up.

And that's when we started playing primarily separately. And it was amazing for us. It changed everything. It was like trying to fit a square pegging around hole. It just, it was, you know, we had some really great experiences. We made some amazing friends. But the truth is, it was like chasing the dragon, right? We kept looking for the same feeling we had, for example, when Brenna played alone for that first time.

And we simply weren't able to acquire it playing with couples. It just didn't work when we were in the same room together, not to the same degree. And then, of course, you know, intermittently we would play separately, or Brenna would play separately. certainly, and then that feeling would come rushing back. And it was just obvious that we were not conventional. You know, we were not a couple for couple players in this space. But how compatible because you both like exactly the same thing? Yeah, we're very fortunate in that way.

You know, we do know some couples that struggle with that. You know, we're very lucky. Yeah. We can play with a couple. And we have, as I said, we've made some amazing friends that are couples. but it has to be a very unique situation. It's not an easy, that's our unicorn for sure. Finding a couple that we really mesh with,

that we can play with together, where we're not completely separated by focus of each other. It's very difficult. So you haven't found that yet. Or sometimes it works for a little bit. I mean, maybe not, I don't even know. Has it ever worked? I mean, typically, actually, every single time,

they have been people that are dear friends of ours and have been for a long time. Yeah. We feel so comfortable with them and we don't feel like we need to put on any sort of a show or explain ourselves or feel weird. We're just so comfortable doing what comes naturally. And so, I mean, we have two, I guess two couples, really, that we have played with primarily in the same room and it works. But it's just not, I guess we should say we don't seek it out.

If it happens, it happens. That's great. but we're certainly not looking for it when we go out into the world. No. In fact, the two best experiences, two of the best experiences we've had with couples have been our friends and they have been soft swap situations. And those are in your top two? With couples.

With couples, yes, absolutely. Right. So that friendship makes a difference. It makes all the difference. Now, what about the people that you, you know, see on the side? Do you have relationships with them? or do they tend to be the same person? How do you guys navigate that?

Yeah, so we're primarily at this point in our journey a hot wife couple, which means I am the one that is going out and playing with other people, usually men, and I am kind of bringing that all back to Brian, all that sexual energy and eroticism. And then we reconnect and have these explosive sessions together afterwards. And I tell them about the things that happened. and it's just, it's amazing. And what we have found is that I'm not opposed to one-off situations where I just meet a guy

and, you know, maybe we have a couple of hours of conversation and then I'm playing with him. But it doesn't do the same thing for me or us as me having a regular play partner. Yeah. And so, I mean, this is somebody that is truly a friend. You know, often I'll go out and have a drink with them or we will go out and have a drink with them or dinner. And maybe sex is part of that evening and maybe it's not. but I am consistently seeing the same people over and over again.

For example, here in Florida, I have two people that I play with almost on a weekly basis. But we also get me to dinner with one of them Friday night and had an amazing conversation. And there was no sex afterwards. So it's, I prefer that. I prefer the Friends with Benefits concept because I can really get comfortable with people. And I can feel that they think of me as more than just a sex object. Like, I want them to appreciate me in person. And I found that many times.

Actually, I've had several regular play partners that are lifelong friends of both myself and Brian. And the truth is the connection gets that much better when the relationship is stronger, right? I mean, you have, you know, even if you admit someone for the, you know, you're dating someone, that first awkward kind of sexual encounter, it always seems to get better over time, right? Because you genuinely develop a relationship and an understanding of someone, this is no different. You know, when you get to know somebody for who they really are, things become more relaxed.

Guards get dropped. You start to appreciate each other more. And then that physical portion of your relationship just improves. Absolutely. So, I mean, would you be considered, Brenna, like a cuck queen because you do like to sometimes see him with women, too? Is that like what that would mean? Because you're saying you don't see women now on the side, just Brenna does, see guys? So Brian is not currently playing with anyone else.

I mean, he absolutely could. I just think that it's kind of the natural course of our journey right now that he's not. He very likely will again. As far as me being a cuck queen, maybe a little bit. I wouldn't necessarily classify myself as such, but I probably have some cuck queen tendencies. I'm more of a, I'm a situational type player, you know. I'm also not, I'm looking for something very specific when it comes to my my play partners and should someone come along that makes some sense for me, then absolutely I would.

But the truth is we are really focusing heavily on the hot wife's face, which is what speaks to both of us the most. It's the strongest kind of has the most effect on us viscerally, I think, from a sexual perspective. So that's really where the focus is. That's not to say that I won't play again or won't play with our friends and that kind of thing. But certainly it is situational. I don't seek it out like Brenda does in terms of her play partners. Right.

And now that's what you do on your podcast. You guys talking about your own experiences, correct? Yeah. I mean, we definitely share the play-by-plays because it's sexy and people want to hear it. But we also share all of our experiences, whether they're good or bad, because we want it to be a realistic view as well. I think the reason that our Hot Wife episodes and yours as well probably do as well as they do is because it's this fantasy. And once again, it's this thing that.

that women shouldn't want to do, right? If you want to be sexually explorative with multiple men and you're a partnered woman, that's a very taboo thing. And so I think taboo excites people and they want to know more and they want to fantasize about it. But we want to provide the realistic views of it too. Like what are the downfalls? What are the things that are going to come along that are going to smack you in the face that you totally didn't expect?

So that's really why we started the podcast to begin with to talk about all of it, the good, the bad, the complete train wrecks and everything in between. Yeah, I always say, I make jokes like I love a Swingers gone wrong story, but only because it's like a learning experience for people. That sometimes it's not a straight shot and everything's great. Like you said, you did have some reservations at first, a lot of times, you know, and some conflicting feelings about it, but how you got past that is always important. What would you say are the pitfalls or the downfalls that you guys tell people about or have

experience yourself? I think our biggest pitfall has come from other people. Brian and I are so communicative with each other and we're always on the same page because we talk endlessly about things. But we've run into couples that don't do the same. And those have been by far the biggest train wrecks that we've run into where there is obviously some tension or jealousy or weirdness or drama on their end that bleeds into the interaction and obviously causes everyone to not have a good time. Right. And then from the hot wiping perspective, I think it's. it's only fair to talk about single men.

You know, there are a lot of guys out there who assume certain things about a sex positive woman or assume that they can speak to a sex positive woman in a certain way, and they don't have experience with hot wives. And as a result, it's usually pretty train wrecky. Well, they also don't have experience with and have a very diluted view of what the male portion of that couple looks like. The single guys, a lot of times get into space thinking this is going to be an easy way to for me to get laid. What they don't realize is that we are a couple. We function as a couple

regardless of whether I am present or not, and I am very rarely, if ever, present when Brenda plays, I make myself scarce. But the bottom line is you are going to interact with me. You are very likely going to meet me first, and we are going to have a conversation. And a lot of guys are not comfortable with that idea. They don't know how to speak to a couple. And in some cases, to their own demise. They tend to be disrespectful in a lot of ways. And that just simply doesn't work. Have you, are you always up front with everybody about what the deal is and what you're doing?

Oh, very much. Probably more than anyone would assume. I mean, we lay everything out for guys. Yeah. I never want to deceive anyone because I don't want to be deceived. And, you know, the other side of it is we go a step further. I really make sure and do my due diligence. of course I can't ever 100% eliminate this possibility, but I make sure these guys aren't cheating.

You know, if, for example, these are a partnered person who has permission to play solo, I want to talk to your partner. I want to see them face to face. I want to know that they're 100% okay with this. I just, I feel like we call this consensual non-monogamy for a reason. And if any of it is underground, then it's not consensual. So we really, really work hard to make sure that everyone knows what's going on at all time. Yeah, we want everyone involved in our space to understand our dynamic and how we approach things. It's just, it's important when it comes to dealing with people, you know, in this sphere because,

you know, there are other folks at, other people's lives at play. You know, we're a couple. Yeah. Something affects Brennan. It affects me and, you know, vice versa. So it's important that our play partners understand that and that we function as a unit. even if we play separately, we still function as a unit. Right.

And now because, like, I mean, you guys have a Twitter. You also have an only fan, a Patreon. We'll give out all that information. I'll put links below for all of that. And, you know, you have an Instagram where you could see your guys' face. You're obviously not anonymous. I mean, everybody knows about the fact that you guys are in the lifestyle, including your family, friends.

I mean, Brenna, you said you were, you know, in a high power position. Are you still in that position? Do people know? I mean, what has happened since you guys really came out? Because your show is successful. Yeah, we do this full-time. We are full-time podcasters, full-time content creators, full-time non-mononymous folks. Yeah.

So we have nothing to hide. Everyone that is important in our lives knows about us. Everyone that meets us will know about us. We are not hiding anything. Right. You know, we both spent a very long time being in, positions, whether it be with work or family or whatever, where we were hiding our true selves. Yeah.

And that is exhausting. We are simply not going to do that anymore. And I think the other side of it is we're proud. I'm proud that I have found what works for myself and my partner. I'm proud to be in a happy and healthy relationship, even if other people don't fully understand it. So we're not hiding. This is who we are. Yeah, we're not the folks hiding behind a curtain, that's for sure.

We jump right out, you know, make no, and we make no bones about. about it, we, you know, we don't apologize for who we are. We're just not going to do that. Right. And you're also helping other people by putting it out there as well. Absolutely. Yeah, we like to think that we're in some ways normalizing it because, like I said, a lot of this is very taboo. And while that can be sexy, it can also be kind of debilitating because taboo often leads to shame, right? If you see something as taboo, it means it's shameful somehow and therefore you shouldn't want it or you shouldn't desire it. And we just don't believe that.

We feel like everyone should be validated for what they want as long as it's consensual. Yeah, for sure. I mean, I always feel like I'm anonymous on my show. I've been doing my show for seven years. You know, I get emails from people and I'm sure you guys do, like thanking me. Like you help me. You help me feel like not a freak because there are still so many people out there who are living double lives.

And like you said, it is exhausting to do that. Yeah, it really is. And, you know, I mean, it's, it's beyond just even the non-monogamous part of it. You know, Brian has come out to our listeners and to anyone that follows us anywhere as a pansexual man, which is also incredibly taboo, even in the non-monogamous world. Right. You know, it's sort of acceptable or even understood that a lot of women in the lifestyle are going to be bisexual or interested in multiple genders. Yeah. For men, it's still very underground. So I'm so proud. of him for that. And I think our listeners are very appreciative of the fact that we are as transparent as we are. It hasn't always been easy, but it's definitely worth it when you, like you said, get those messages where you truly help someone. Yeah, because that's what it's

about. Now, what is pansexual? That is like, how is it different than bisexual? I get so confused with all the terms. Sure. Pansexual basically means that you're open to multiple genders. So that would be inclusive, for example, of people that identify as non-binary. So, Brian, basically, it means that you are attracted to a person. You're not attracted to whatever their gender is. Right. Yeah, I tell people all the things that, Kathy, or at least they try to explain it this way. If you're pansexual, you're probably bisexual, too.

It's kind of like cognac and brandy. You know, every all cognac is brandy, but not all brandy is cognac. That makes any sense? Yeah, yeah, totally. And now, is this something that you discovered after you hooked up with Brennan and you guys started to explore different things together? or was this something that you knew and had explored before? No, I had never explored it before, but I say always, for a good period of time in my life,

I had the idea that I wasn't necessarily straight. I just didn't know exactly what that meant, and it wasn't until Brennan and I really became partners and we were completely open with each other that exploring that part of me made more sense. I knew it. Brennan knew it, certainly that there was more to me than just a heterosexual. person. And so, you know, having a partner that's supportive is one of the, you know, the greatest things you can have in a situation like that being, you know, a 51 year old man, not 100% certain

as to, you know, what my sexual identity was going to be. Right. But always knowing in the back of your mind that something else was going on, but not really feeling comfortable enough to put it out there. Yeah. Oh, yeah, not understanding it fully, not really dissecting it entirely, but knowing, yeah, there's something there. I just don't know quite what it is. Did you guys ever hear of Dr. Joe court? He was like the guy that went viral on TikTok because he, you know, he's like here to say that, you know, a guy, a straight man could fool around with a guy and doesn't necessarily mean he's bisexual. And I have to tell you, I've had a lot of guys on my show who will be like, oh, I like to occasionally fool around with a guy or I just like to give blowjobs, but I don't, but I'm not by and I'm not into men at all. You know, so it could get like really confusing.

I think pansexual is more broad, right? as a of a term? Yeah, we've had that conversation actually with a couple of guys that say the same. Yeah. You know, they are, you know, situationally bisexual, that type of thing. You know, for me, I'm just sexually open. I mean, we both are. I'm not closed off to any gender or anything in terms of, you know, sexuality.

So, you know, I think once you've gotten to the point where you are open to any possibility, I don't know that you need to put a label on it. I think labels are for the benefits of other people. You know, I don't think there's any hard and fast label that makes all the sense in the world to me. Yeah, it gets really confusing. You know, I'm not in the lifestyle. I remember seeing a movie called The Lifestyle. I'm 52.

This was like back in the day, like, you know, 30 years ago, it was a very popular documentary about swingers. And it was like fascinating. And to me, that was always like as far as being like a fully evolved person, right? To me, that was the top of the mess. mountain, if you could get to the point where, you know, you could be in love with somebody, but not own them sexually and be very free to do whatever you want, right? If you're a curious person, explore everything with a partner within a relationship. Like I said to me, that was the top of the evolution mountain. You know, that's like what I always wanted to be. I've never been there

because I'm not, I'm not in a relationship right now. But I think it's like really great that at any time, you know, you guys started it. I mean, Brian, you're 51. I don't know how old you are, Brenna, but it's not necessarily just because you've been vanilla your whole life or you've had a certain relationship. I mean, that could start at any time. Yeah, that's just, you know, that's just one more component

to our relationship now that you mentioned it. I'm 51. Brenna is 31, so we have a 20-year age gap. You know, and when you talk about people, you know, that have age gaps, and then you consider the fact that we are non-monogamous and sexually open. and we have an open relationship and all the things that go along with who we are as a couple.

You know, people definitely get confused by it. But the truth is, like you mentioned, Kathy, I think when you've reached a pinnacle to the point where you are sexually open, you are allowing your partner also to explore themselves sexually without judgment and without hesitation. I think you both will develop a greater appreciation for one another and for your relationship. You know, I think there's a big part of me that appreciates Brenna for who she is because of now. I mean, frankly, how empowered she is as a person and as a woman. Because, you know, when we first met, she wasn't quite that way. She wasn't going to be the first one at a party to introduce herself to people and to be the light of the room, essentially.

But now she is. Right. I mean, Brenda is now she's ruined her voice. And I think it's largely due to our non-monogamous journey. Right. And fully being, I think the more you're fully yourself, the more confident you are. I think sometimes when you're carrying around a secret life or you have all these thoughts about yourself, maybe that, you know, you're not presenting.

You know, it could affect your confidence, right? And the more you're open with yourself. And, you know, it's free. There's something very freeing about that. Oh, absolutely, yes. Yeah, it's very liberating. Yeah. Especially, I mean, not to genderize it, but as a woman specifically, yeah.

I mean, like I said earlier, there are all of these expectations placed on who you are supposed to be. Yeah. Especially as a sexual person. And to let go of all of that and just live your life and do what feels natural and genuine to who you are. It opens up your eyes to all of the areas that you have been, you know, maybe not 100% your authentic self. And that's absolutely what's happened in our relationship. Like Brian said, I'm more confident. I'm much more assertive.

I am much more gregarious. It really does. It's not an isolated thing. It's a very holistic way of looking at your life when you change or alter who you are as a sexual person. Yeah. And for me, you know, being 51 also, you know, I've never really gave a shit much about what people thought about me. You took me and you didn't, don't really care. I don't put a lot of stock in that.

Yeah. But being able to come out, you know, as a sexual person, obviously, and, you know, open sexuality, it was an easier, I think, transition for me because, again, I don't put a lot of efficacy into what people think of me. But it's not easy. And I am often reached out to by listeners, guys just like me who are in relationships, committed relationships, have been for many years who are in their 40s, 50s and 60s, who find, you know, through our conversations, the confidence to come out to their partners as well. And that's huge for me. I don't, as I said, don't care what people think about me. But if I can help somebody find their identity, I think that's great.

Yeah, that's what it's all about. Brenna, you're lucky that, you know, at 30 or even younger, right, because you're 31 now, you've been doing this for a couple of years. You've been able to be sexually free and release yourself of all the stigmas. And you live in a different time, right? But there's a lot of people like you say, Brian, in their 40s and 50s and 60s. And a lot of times I'm talking to those people who have been living a double life, a secret life, their whole life.

And they're just feeling, you know, ready or wanting to talk about it or let it, you know, be more open about it like you have, right, at 50. But there, you weren't, you could never do that back in the time when we were growing up. I remember as we were getting older as 50 something year olds, like when, when it became okay for women to sleep with other women. I mean, it was even, that was even a stigma for a while. But then it became like popular, right? But that changed over time. And I think it needs to happen for the guy on guy action. Because I can't tell you how many times I'm talking to. a guy and he'll be like, yeah, I like to suck a dick, but I'm not gay. And I'm always kind of like, well,

what does that mean? Like, what big deal if you were gay? I don't know. It kind of like always rubs me the wrong way because it's like there's still this thing. Like the guys are so afraid that it means that they're gay and why is that a bad thing? And a lot of times that's not the case, but what is the problem with that anyway? You know, there's still a, you know, crossing of swords is still like really frowned upon. Well, particularly when you talk about our generation, for example, you know, we're both, I could 51. Yeah.

You know, I think back to, you know, fortunately, I grew up in a household that was not like that. We were very open, very progressive, you know, it wasn't, I was not at all. No one was held back in terms of sexuality. I just didn't know at that time where it was headed. But the truth is, I remember, you know, friends and family members, extended family, you know, having conversations, you know, growing up in the 70s and 80s, the idea that if you were a gay man, you were somehow less masculine. Yes.

I think that still holds true. 100%. Like you said, oh, I'm not gay, but, you know, I like to suck cock once in a while, but that doesn't make me gay. Okay, but even if you were, so what? That's, yeah. You can't still hold on to some level of masculinity. Right. I mean, it doesn't even make sense.

But that's that mindset, right? We have a hard time getting our heads around that. And I think if a lot of, a lot more 50-plus-year-olds got themselves around it, we'd be a better place. Yeah, and I do find I have a lot of guys that are calling me up, and they're like, you know, they're around 50. I think maybe that's like the mid-life time for a guy, you know, I think for women, 40 is a big milestone. But for a lot of guys, I find that at around 50, they're just like so sick of living, you know, a secret life. And they want to let their freak flag fly. And a lot of guys do that at 50.

Maybe they've got out of that, you know, that first marriage. And now they're like, they don't want to get in a relationship that same way, right? They get in like you did, just fully open right off the bat. Yeah, absolutely. Listen, good for them. I remember, as you mentioned, it's funny, you think back to, I think back to the 80s, seeing two women kiss each other in the club was the biggest thing, right? Like a couple of gals having a cocktail and they kiss each other in the club.

Holy shit, the place would go into, they'd be a frenzy. And, you know, the idea of two men doing it was out of the question. Totally. And we just got to get her heads out of that. You know, the guys that are now their 40s, 50s and 60s, you know, you've got to break out of that. It's just, you know, be who you are. and I think everyone's going to be a lot better off board. Yeah, and I love that, you know, women are feeling more comfortable, too,

to not only just, you know, forget about that women, women action, that's okay, but that women like Brenna and other people and only fans is like big and people are on there and they're like, this is who I am, I'm a sex worker and I'm proud of it. And people are like, I'm a woman and I love sex. And, you know, because when I was growing up, I rarely had relationships, but I slept around. I always liked to have sex. I wasn't like a, uh, uh, I had all kinds of. different relationships, but I was, I mean, I can't tell you how many times I heard like,

oh, Kathy, you're a lot like the girl you marry. You're like the girl you fuck, you know. It was always like I was the minority at that time, you know, and I'm talking about back in the day because like when I was growing up and when I was younger, women only had sex with guys that they were either in a, they had to be in a relationship with them. And thank God that's not the case anymore. And women are coming out as like just sexual beings. Yeah, it's beautiful to see. Especially, you know, I have a sister that's significantly younger than me and to see the Gen Ziers coming up behind me that are even more sexually open and, you know, thoughtful of these things. I think it bodes well for us all. I really do think

that that generation is going to come up and have an influence on the way that we see sexuality and the way that we interact with each other in a sexual way. And I'm really optimistic. Yeah, me, too for short. It's so different now out there, right? I'm always like, I was born in the wrong generation. Like all the girls now are like how I was when I was younger, but when I was younger, I was like an oddity, right? I was the minority and now I would be a part of the majority. It's very different. And I think that that's, that's great. Agreed. So Brenna, so tell us, tell me some hot stories or like, I mean, let's first of all, tell people where to find you guys. I mean, you guys are on OnlyFans too, right? What's on your only fans if people want to join?

You know, I don't do anything hardcore. I wouldn't say hardcore porn. It's more soft stuff, but I do put some videos up with my play partners, which is fun for people to see. They realize they're real people. And, you know, I'm not just choreographing scenes for the sake of Only fans. These are very organic experiences I'm having. And I also just present myself on there as a very sexual person. I really open up to people about masturbation. and about lingerie and toys. And it gives, I think, a lot of people, and the reason I say this is because I have a lot of women on there that follow me, that love to see, you know, what I'm wearing and what I'm using for toys that day. So I really just opened myself up as a sexual person there, much like we do on the show. I think, like I said, we're very transparent people,

and we want to just invite people into our world so that they can potentially normalize some of this in their minds. but you can find everything to do with us, all of our shows, all of our content, everything at front porch swingers.com. That'll give you the links to pretty much everything that we do. Right. And so if they want to see more explicit stuff, they go to your only fans, but they could also hear all your stories on your podcast.

Absolutely. Right. And so now, Brenna, do you hook up with girls too? I mean, are you open that way? I am. Yes. I'm very particular with women. I find myself attracted to fewer women than I do men, but I am absolutely, I identify as bisexual.

And, yeah, I love to play with ladies, the right ladies. Right. And now, do you do that when you guys are together and you're swapping, or do you also, would you do that solo play as well? We have definitely done three sons with women, but I have just recently had my first solo female experience. I played with a few couples as well as their single lady for the night. but this recent female-on-female solo play that I did really open my eyes to the possibilities of my play with women.

And I think I will end up doing a lot more of that. It's very different than having a man in the room. It creates a different energy. So I'm excited to explore that more. Right. So that was your first time, the solo? Yes, yes. And now, was that enjoyable for the stag at home to hear about that, Brian?

Yeah, absolutely. I also know the gal that Brenno was with. In fact, I have been with her myself and she's incredibly sexy. So I could only imagine in my mind while I was waiting for her to get back what was going on because, of course, I'm intimately familiar with both ladies. Right. So yeah, very, very sexy to me. And the idea that, you know, Brenna could also, you know, enjoy a woman that way. And, of course, I saw pictures. And so that was really hot. So, you know, it opens. up my mind a little bit to what might be possible. The truth is I am always interested in her play with men, but this particular session was also very hot, predominantly, I think, because I am familiar with the gal she played with. Right. So you had a visual, and as well, she took pictures. Yeah, but as I said, I also, I also know that gal. She's a friend. I have played with her solo.

Right. She's super sexy. So, you know, I could visualize the two of them together. It was very easy for me. Do you typically, Brenna, take, like, videos or pictures to bring home when you're even with the guys? It really depends. Yeah, I've done a little bit of everything. I've done some naughty audio, which as podcasters is kind of fun for us to experiment with. So I've done that in past. I've done pictures and videos. I think often I really like to just get lost in the experience with someone else.

Right. So it's not typical, but we've kind of done a little bit of everything as far as that goes. Right. And when you're with those guys and you know that Brian's home waiting for you and knows what you're doing, is that a part of the turn on for you as well? That's what I would think. 100%. Right. Yes.

Most of the time I'm thinking, what is Brian doing right now? What is he thinking? I'm also thinking about how explosive things are going to be when I get back to him because every single time I return to him, it just gets hotter and hotter and hotter. And so that's always in the back of my mind, too. like I'm gearing up for a treat when I get home. Right. That's what I've heard across the board, you know, from the couples that do do it and do it successfully. And I think it's what's surprising to most people is that it strengthens the relationship and creates better sex with the couples.

I mean, it could go wrong for sure, like you said, with the couples that are, you know, where they're not really communicative with each other and they're not open or they've done it too soon or they don't have, you know, their boundaries aren't clear. I've heard some bad stories, but I think when it works, it's because of those reasons. Yeah, when it works, it really works. Right. And it does help the relationship. For sure. Yeah. If you have a healthy relationship to begin with, then yes.

Like a lot of things, if your relationship is not the best, you know, we do not suggest going down this road by any means. This has not been to fix your relationship. Right. And so what would be some tips that you would give couples? You know, whether it's the couple who, I mean, I would think that one of your tips is going to be, you know, be completely open and honest when you started in a relationship. But what about the people that have been, I mean, because you guys started it right from the beginning. You were very open with who you guys were, what you were looking for.

So I think that that's an easy sell. But what happened? What about the couple that, you know, I've been together. They're very vanilla. And maybe the guy wants his wife to be a hot wife. I mean, what tips do you give that? couple as far as how to, you know, get into the lifestyle. Yeah, well, I think in the scenario that you're talking about, often I cannot count the

number of emails that we have received from guys that say, how do I talk my partner into doing this? Yes. And our answer is, you don't talk your partner into doing anything that's coercion and you're a bad person. If you do that, you know, rather you should bring up this topic with your partner and, you know, potentially try to provide some resources. to give them an idea of what true non-monogamy is,

because often people have all of these misconceptions based on porn or one movie that they saw 15 years ago, and they don't have a realistic idea of what it means to be a non-monogamous couple. So if you provide them things like podcasts and books and other resources that are from legitimate non-monogamous people, you know, at least start opening those lines of dialogue, and instead of trying to talk them into it, just, you know, bring up the conversation. I mean, the hardest thing that you can do in this

lifestyle, the hardest thing you can do to get into the lifestyle is to just open your mouth that very first time and talk about it. Right. And I understand the vulnerability it takes to do that. But the flip side of that is if you never do it, you're just living in, you know, not your true self, not your true form, your entire life and not being completely open with your partner. So you have to start that conversation. Do it with some research behind it, some resources that you can provide and never try to talk your partner into anything. Right. And also like how did you did as far as like going to swingers clubs and I mean,

because I have her sometimes like people will just go and like maybe take the pressure off that you don't even have to do anything, right? You could just go and just kind of be voyeurs. I mean, did you start at swingers clubs? Like how early into things did you guys go? Is that what started it for you? Did you start solo play again at first? Like how did it start off again with between the two of you?

Yeah, so we didn't go to clubs in the beginning because there were no clubs. We were in Montana. So our options were very limited and we had to be really creative with the way that we met people. Yeah. The club thing is a double-edged sword. Part of it is yes, you can definitely go and get an idea of the environment and it's very no pressure. You're never expected to play at a club. Right.

So you can really just kind of soak in the atmosphere. But the flip side of that is a lot of people that are non-monogamous are not interested in that club. environment. They don't want to be around loud, booming music and people drinking too much. And that's kind of the category we fit into. We go on occasion, but it's really not our main source of play because that's not the environment that speaks to us. So I would say give it a try. Go see it for yourself and see what it's like. If for no other reason, then it'll give you a little bit better idea of some of the things that are out there. But also don't limit yourself. There's a lot of different ways to be non-monogamous. There's a lot of different ways to find people that make sense.

for you. So don't box yourself in and don't assume that just because everyone else is talking about going to the clubs or the big events, that means that that's how you have to be if you want to be non-monogamous. And now that Craigslist doesn't exist, what are the resources or where do you direct people to go to find other like-minded couples? There are a lot of lifestyle sites out there, specific lifestyle sites. They're very regional. So the best one for a person is going to be based on where they're at. Right. We use Cassidy.com because it's, they're awesome and because it's one of the more reputable

ones. But yeah, I mean, if you type in Swinger's site, you're going to get a lot of different options. And we always tell people, make sure you're paying. The free ones are full of bots and fakes and you're going to have a horrible experience. So free doesn't mean anything in this lifestyle space. Oh, that's interesting. That's a good tip. Uh-huh.

Yeah. And I think the other thing is, yeah, you can use the lifestyle sites to kind of get your foot in the door. But the biggest part about the lifestyle is that it's very social. So start networking with people, start, you know, if you meet one couple, ask them if they can put you in touch with other couples or other singles that might make sense for you. You really have to think of this as like a new world of social experiences for you rather than just, you know, going into it specifically for the sex. If you do that, I think you're going to be disappointed and you're not going to find the opportunities that are available to you. Right.

And now what, did you guys, like, start off with any kind of boundaries and then did those change over time? Did you have any rules going in? You know, we had some rules. I think most of them went by the wayside pretty quickly. I think a lot of our rules in the beginning were my rules and they were because I was kind of uncomfortable. Like, I remember the very first thing we started talking about doing anything with someone else. It was me with another gentleman. And I told Brian, like, I only want to perform oral.

I don't want penetrative sex. Yeah. And that changed within a couple of days. And then when we had our first experience, other ones went by the wayside. At this point, we don't really have any hard and fast rules aside from condom usage. And safety. I mean, I have to let Brian know where I'm at and he has to, you know, be able to contact me and those types of things only because he wants me to be safe and those types of things.

So, yeah, I mean, our boundaries at this point are around safety only. We tell people a lot of times that, you know, set up your rules, set up your boundaries. and felt as many of them as you want in the beginning, you can always remove, easier to remove than add. Right. You know, if you have to add a boundary that means potentially something not great has happened. Yeah. So better that you have it and not need it than need it and not have it.

Yeah, I've heard more couples, especially the successful ones. You know, their stories are more similar to yours in that they started out with some because they really didn't know how they were going to feel or how they were going to react to the experience, but those eventually went to the wayside, right? And it was just kind of very open about everything. Right. So now, so your podcast, everyone could go there and listen to your hot stories. They could also join your OnlyFans.

OnlyFans is front porch swingers as well? Yes. So I'll put links to everything below. Thank you so much for coming on. You guys are on YouTube too, right? I'll put your YouTube channel up there. You have the podcast. You have OnlyFans.

And people should check out your podcast because that's where they'll hear a lot more hot stories as well as learn, right? In case they want to get into the lifestyle. Yeah, we'd love for you to come check it out. Like I said, it's a very realistic view of non-monogamy. So we don't paint anything in a positive light. If it wasn't positive, we're very honest. And it's also pretty sexy and raunchy at times, which I know people sometimes enjoy. I know.

I was like, oh, do we have time for like one hot story? I always try to get them in. I just feel like you guys are very informative and what you have to say that it's more of an informational episode. But thanks so much for calling in, you guys. I've seen your podcast around a lot. I'm glad to have you guys on my show.

I think it's important for people to hear from people like you because I, you know, like I said, you guys are top of the mountain for me. I think I look at people like you that do this and I feel like you're more evolved. You know, I just think that that's like a very open, honest place to be and I have total respect for that and I think what's even better is that you guys are out there helping people by being honest about who you are and having a voice and put it you know

and I think that that's great. Oh thank you. Thank you so much for having us on as well. We really appreciate it. Yeah. Thank you so much. No, no. Thank you. I'll let you guys know when this is going to air and I'll put all your links below. Okay, great. Thank you. Thank you. Bye. Bye-bye. Hey, everyone. Thanks so much for tuning in to this week's episode. If you want to follow the show, follow me at Strict Anonymous. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available not only in paperback and ebook,

but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang being girl story.

Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person, and they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person. And I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like Penthouse letter. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. 17 of them. They're really short chapters. Easy read. You could read one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format. And finally, the audiobook is available coming out August 25th. But you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it. it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint. Okay. There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me. Okay. I give it to people who buy

my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other. And that's what you get to do there. You could post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total strictly anonymous community and you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord. It's private, like I said. All you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook or the paperback. Send it to me at strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. That's strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com and I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in.

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