Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 426 - Lola Jean on Sex, Kink and Being the World Record Holder for Squirting

Episode Date: November 24, 2021

Lola Jean calls in to talk about sex, kink and being the world record holder for squirting. How did she learn to squirt? How much can she squirt? And, how did she turn her talent for squirting into a world record?Tune in to find out plus hear all about how she overcame a lot of obstacles when she was younger and how they propelled her to become Lola Jean, the two sexual revolutions she had and what she learned from them, the adult events she hosts and what goes down at them, the kinks she's been into and what she's liked and disliked about them, her brief stint in the poly lifestyle and why that wasn't for her, the trouble she had as a unicorn and they type of people she prefers to play with now, her beef with monogamy and how she opened up her current relationship, her advice to people who want to play with others, and a whole lot more. To find out more info on Lola Jean, go to https://lolajean.com **To see anonymous pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the strictly anonymous podcast. Strictly anonymous podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. The Craigslist is definitely like the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Singapore or Thailand. You can't not do it.

The temptation is just too much. Is your real problems? Do your friend know that you're banging her or no? No, he has no idea. And anything goes. The motto of the show, let your freak flag fly. Probably the only good advice I'll ever give you is to rehire. your wits and chain. Here is your host, Kathy.

Hey, welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast with Kathy. If you want to follow the Strictly Anonymous podcast on Instagram or Twitter, follow the show at Strict Anonymous. If you want to be on the show, send me an email at Strictly Anonymous podcast at gmail.com. You will only hear back for me if I am interested in having you on. Please don't get insulted if you don't hear back for me. I've just been doing my show for so long that I've heard it all. And at this point, I really am just looking for certain specific crazy freaking stories. But please don't feel insulted if I don't get back to you. I've just, the reason would be probably that I've just heard your story before. So send me an email of strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com.

You will only hear back from me if I am interested in having you on the show. Today I have on Lola Lejean. Now, Lola Jean is a sex educator. She's a dom. She holds the world record in squirting. You won't even believe how much she could squirt in how many seconds. I can't tell you exactly because you're going to listen to the episode to find out. But it's like the world record. Like, that's her thing. She's not only did she get in the record. She did this publicly. She's an exhibitionist. She likes to be watched. She's into group sex and three. She's been a unicorn and she's in a relationship and it's open and she has partners and she's Tri-Polly and she talks about it all. Okay. She's super smart. She's very well spoken. So let's just get to it. I'll be right back on with Lola Jean. Hey Lola Jean. Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast. How are you today? I guess I'm not strictly anonymous, huh? No, you are not. And that's like one of my questions to you is like, you know, I love that you're out there, you're who you are. You're a lot of things, okay? Like straight off your website, it's like Lola Jean is a sex educator, a mental health professional, a wrestler, a

dom, a world record holder for volume squirting. Now, this is how I think I found you because I talk in my podcast a lot. I don't talk much about myself, but what people know about me is that squirting is like at the top of my bucket list. It is something I've never been able to do. And I always talk about how jealous I am about people. And I think that's why somebody sent me your info. Like, oh my God, you have to talk to her. So I definitely want to get into your whole world record thing for squirting.

But to me, my first question to you is like, where did you get the balls to be Lola Jean? Yeah. And I mean, like, you know, none of it was immediate. There was definitely a point in time where I was kind of dipping, you know, my toll. toe into the Lolojean waters, but there was definitely a shift where there was a moment of like, okay, if I do this, there is no going back. We're going all in. We're jumping in the

deep end. And it was so like rewarding. It was like it was freeing to do so, but then it was also like rewarding by just being out there and loud within my career. I'm a big believer that like we we lead ourselves with like shame or not. So it's how

we choose to present ourselves because shame is just a projection. So if anyone has like And I've dealt with us with my parents, too, of like, you know, if they have, you know, different feelings about what it is that I do, that's their opinion. I'm fine with what I do. It's more of, you know, their projection of like, well, why are you uncomfortable with what I do for work or how I choose to present myself? But throughout my life, because when I was younger, I was a loner. I went through a lot of periods where I just didn't really have friends.

and I wanted to challenge myself to be comfortable doing uncomfortable things. So when I was like very young, I'm going to go to dinner alone. I'm going to go to the movies alone. I'm going to go to a concert alone. All these things that people needed other people for. And it was really freeing to kind of like rebuke these like societal expectations. So I was already kind of accustomed to like, okay, well, if I kind of just jump in and I'm impulsive about it, then my anxiety isn't going to take a hold of everything.

that I'm doing. So it was it was more my way of like coping with anxiety, this like impulsivity that became, I don't want to say necessarily addictive, but it was able to kind of get a hold on these different things that that ruled my life. And with sexuality specifically, this was more so of like taking a hold of it being single because I was, you know, waiting around for someone to pick me. Who's going to be my romantic partner who wants to commit to me for. you know, more than just sex. And those things didn't happen in like younger years or later years. So I took a lot of like a screw it attitude and just started engaging in things that I wanted to on my own that I was waiting for another person for. And that was true in like from like my first kiss to my first time

having sex to my first threesome to like every every first thing. You know, I didn't want to wait for someone to pick me to go to the party. So it really started more in that way. And that way. And, you know, way and what kind of burned that to, I guess, both being a sex educator, but then also really exploring my own sexuality and discovering that. I have two periods that I call my like sexual revolutions. The first one was in my early 20s and this one was more of like, I'm going to try all of these things, but I didn't necessarily, you know, put my own needs first. It was like, I'm going to put myself in all these situations, but I'm not going to necessarily think about what do I want, what do I need, what am I getting out of this? So my second sexual revolution

was in my mid-20s and that was also around the first time that I was least aware that I squirted. I might have squared before then, but it was after this where the person that I had done that with, he was the first person that I like had feelings for and it ended shortly thereafter and I was kind of left with like, okay, at this point I'm like 26, 27. I've been waiting this want to find someone that, like, shared feelings with me and I lost that person. Now I'm like, I'm not waiting any longer. I'm just going to do all of this stuff. Like, screw relationships. I'm going to figure this whole thing out. But this time I'm going to do it with my own pleasure in mind and making sure that, like, I keep myself safe that I don't burn out, especially emotionally. So,

you know, it wasn't an overnight, you know, switch. There was like a long process that led to this, but the foundation had been built when I was younger by just being very self-sufficient and very, very, like, almost hyper-independent. I'm counter-dependent, which is the opposite of codependent. So I have trouble relying on other people instead of my world revolving around other people, you know, which sometimes serves me and sometimes it doesn't. but I'm taking now of like a lot of how I've gotten to these places to create this school and write a book about confidence and power because I think we have this false perception of it, especially maybe when people see me and my image. And it's really, you know, it's not all of these superficial things that make us confident and secure.

It's kind of just understanding how everything in society is sort of a falsehood of how it's represented. Yeah, for sure. a lot of times people on the outside looking into people who, you know, are confident and powerful, they think that, you know, there is a lack of fear. And then the person that's watching them feels like, oh, you know, because they're afraid of things, that makes them weak. No, I think that the difference between a truly confident and powerful person is that they have fears too, but they face them. You did have anxiety. You did have issues happening. I mean, it wasn't an easy childhood, but instead of cowering down to the fears, you face them and you pushed yourself through it so that,

wouldn't take over. Like that was like probably that little control part of you, right? It's saying like I'm either, you know, I'm going to own myself. Like this fear isn't going to own me. Yeah. And I mean, it's like, you know, it's not like every time that I jumped into the pool that it worked out. Sometimes I jumped in the pool and I left crying. And that's just part of it. And then you, you go through that and you're like, okay, well, I survived. I handled it. It wasn't that fun. But it's like handling like confidence is being comfortable or being able to survive discomfort and not letting that rule you. So this thing with anonymity, is that I'm not going to let like, like a fear of being known because that's seen as, it's seen as kind of a shame for me. It's the reason why in a lot of any of my like visual representation, if I have like demo bottoms or things, like I don't allow math where I understand it has to do with anonymity,

but a lot of times that reads a shame. Yeah. And I am not for promoting shame within this culture. And part of that is like leading with myself. And of course there's, you know, there's certain things that I'll keep as private. or intimate that I don't share with the public and that's I mean honestly that's for my own sanity

probably too um but I have a warped sense of vulnerability that I'm working through a lot in therapy because there's things that I do on a regular basis that people think is the most vulnerable thing you could possibly do and I'm like whatever get my vagina right what are some of those things I mean I'm squirting in front of people um you know being vulnerable and open about my sexuality, about my heartbreak, about the, you know, sex experiences gone wrong, about the romantic experiences gone wrong, about my depression, anxiety, all of, like, these are things that are very vulnerable for people because it feels like admitting weakness. And there's something really freeing about admitting those things and being open and public about it. And that is

empowering, I'm sure, for you. And that's why you do it, right? Yeah, I mean, part of it is that it's like empowering for me. But I think like ultimately, like it's not that I'm trying to help people. I'm trying to give people the tool so that we don't hurt people. Because I think a lot of times when we focus on like me, me, me, other people can fall to the wayside. And that's part of the like, you know, this lack of superficial confidence. It's being confident without being an asshole. So the goal is to give people tools so that we're able to explore ourselves, our needs,

and what we need without compromising other people's, being in spacey. Right. But how do you go from all of this to becoming a world record holder for squirting? And I mean, do they, are you in like the books? Like, is there a world record book that I could open up and there is a squirting section? Was there, and was there someone before you that you beat out? There was not. And that's why, so I went to set it. So like, no matter what, I was going to get the record because it hadn't been set, but I also broke

size in the process. So you know, you know it's a record. But Guinness doesn't do sexual records. I actually applied to them, did the whole hurrah, and, you know, they don't do that. So, but, like, these things exist, you just have to, you know, be able to record it in a fashion that's reputable. So someone was asking me this for, they were asking for recommendations on, like, most orgasms in an hour. And I was like, okay, well, a quick Google search shows that for people with vulva, it's, like, 140 orgasms in an hour. and they did it at, it looks like an academic, an academic function where, you know,

they had something hooked up to someone so they could also measure the orgasm. So it has to be very, like, measurable. And in my case, like, it was measurable. So I did it to get a standard with different stipulations about it's like by yourself, not using a partner, not using a toy, only your hand. And within like a one-minute period.

So I did it to all these standards, but I am a competitive person. There is a reason that I am a wrestler. There's a reason that I do trash talk. I co-manage a fantasy football league. Like, I am a competitive person, and I finally found outlets in my adulthood to be competitive where it's okay.

Because, like, I'm not going to go to a trivia night and be super competitive. But, like, I went to, like, an axe-throwing thing, and I'm like, I'm going to be very competitive here. So, like, I already have this nature, but it was just something where I, as I started engaging with other people and really honing in on like understanding my squirting and my body's superpowers, I realized like, okay, it seems like I produce a lot larger of a volume than other people. I'm aware I produce a large volume because I'm sitting in it, but compared to other people. And as I started working as a sex educator and working with other scientists and educators, and that's where I, you know, started learning about the science that, oh, the max amount a person can squirt is like up to 950. And I'd never measured it, but I was like, I can probably crush that.

That's a competitive part of you. Yeah, exactly. And like, I had always, like, said that. And I think a friend of mine sort of gave me the idea. And that's when I applied to Guinness. And when they rejected me, I thought that was the end of it. And this person was just like, no, like make a PR stunt out of it, make an event around it. And I was like, okay, if I'm going to do this, it's going to be big.

I'm going to make a whole show and events around it. I want a crowd. I'm an exhibitionist. I also need the witnesses. I need the journalist. I need the stunt of it all. So that was how it came about. And, like, you know, I had been in classes and performances.

Like, I've been swerting in front of people. And I've been doing it. Like, I performed at the box a few times before I did this. And that's something to, you know, in front of hundreds of people doing something in a mass quantity to kind of shock people. So I wasn't a stranger to it before I engaged in it. But wait a second, where does that event live? Is that still something that somebody could go see? I mean, you said you wanted to videotape it.

You had journalists. I mean, like, is that something that you put out there? Could people watch that? Is it on Porn Hub? Is it on your website? That's the question I get most often. And people are like, I just want to watch it for educational purposes. I'm like, it's not educational also.

Like, even sometimes people ask for it. Like, when they ask for a demonstration, and so I'll do it more and in person, like online classes. Yeah. But when people ask for like a demonstration, I'm just like, you're not going to learn anything from it. You're just going to be shocked because I do it in about four seconds. Yeah.

And I do a large quantity. And people are like, what? I'm like, yeah, you didn't learn anything because this is the way my body works, which is, you know, very different from other people's bodies, especially with mine, like squirting is the way my body expresses pleasure. For some other people, it might be more of a function of this type of stimulation causes squirting for me. But for me, like, I'm like, most kinds of things.

stimulation cause squirting for me if I'm enjoying it and if I have a certain level of arousal and if I'm willing my body to do it. But this event, so it was originally called the Kinky Carnival. We've rebranded to the Cirque to Squirt and we just did our second one in New York City in September and now it's going to be a traveling circus. But the circus only happens once a year. So next year it's going to be in L.A., New York and London. is currently what it's slated for. And it's, you know, it's one event once a year. I will do some sort of squirting performance.

I'm probably not. I mean, last time when I did my squirting performance, people were like, are you to measure it? Are you going to reset the record? And I'm like, no, I just kind of want to have fun and enjoy myself. But like, after I did that performance and I scored it so much, I was like, damn, I should have measured it, actually. Oh, my God.

And what else goes down at this carnival? Circus. So it's, I mean, it is kind of like a, Kinky Carnival. There are a bunch of really weird games like pin the dildo in the butt. There's vibrator races. There's upright the dildo. There's so many fun weird games that kind of have a sexual twist. It's not like a play party or a kink party. Everything is meant so that you can in like you can have a fun set activity that you can engage with. I designed my event so that you can go alone and still have a fun time because you can play a lot of the games alone. And there's a bunch of performances that you can watch.

So last time we did it, we had like nine different acts, or sorry, nine different performances in three acts. And, you know, some of them are sexual in nature. Some of them are more on like the carnival side in nature. But I really describe it as like a messed up carnival. Really taking that kind of side show, freak show, but just making it very fun and interactive. And what kind of venue do you use for, like a club, like in the city?

like where do you what's the venue and how many people have come to it in the past yeah so well the first time we could the max amount we could fit was 300 and we packed it out yeah i would think so and but yeah we we go around looking for you know different venues and kind of altering it like based on the venue so in new york it's usually nightclubs ideally with some sort of outdoor portion um in l.a we might be doing it on a ranch and in london probably also in in a nightclub as well because we have to have the stage area and then the rest of the area is just kind of for games

and watching the games too you don't have to play them that's the beauty of it like I love so I don't like playing video games but I like to watch other people play video games and that is like that's enjoyable to me so I think like there's a lot of fun just in watching other people

doing these silly odd things and you don't have to really engage in them yourself when is your when is this going to be again I'll definitely promote it on my show when it comes up I mean I don't know you probably don't need promoting, but I'm sure my listeners are going to want to know. When are you having your next one? I haven't done many events in L.A., so that's the one I'm kind of more nervous about.

But I'm having discussions. We just started having discussions to secure locations next year, but it'll be in like the summer and fall. So I think right now, L.A. might be in June. New York will be in July or August, and then London will be in September or October. Now, as far as squirting is concerned, I was a little depressed because recently I was talking to someone, but I think you just said the same thing. And she was like, you know, just because you squirt doesn't mean that it's like the best orgasm. She felt like, you know, when she squirts, it's actually not that great and it doesn't always come at the same time that she's orgasming.

I was always under the impression that, oh my God, if I could squirt it is going to be also the most incredible orgasm I ever had. And she was like, no, not for me. It's not. But I think, look, you had said before that for you, it is. but everyone's body is different and sometimes other women don't experience it that way, correct? Yeah, and I mean, you know, the first time that you squirt, because I describe it as like a release, like a lot of the times it may take an orgasm to do that or they're going to happen concurrently. But then as you get more, depending on the body or depending on your body, like squirting isn't always an orgasm and both of them can happen independently of each other.

Now, the way with my body functioning is that, you know, if I'm orgasming, I'm probably squirting, but if I'm squirting, I'm probably not orgasming, if that makes sense. So I like to liken it to field goals and touchdowns. So squirting is like field goals and orgasming is like touchdowns. And, you know, they're all points at the end of the day. You can win the game with field goals. And field goals are a lot easier to get, you know, you can kick them from really far. But sometimes you just want to score a touchdown, and then you'll get the extra point afterwards.

And sometimes you score the touchdown and you get to go for two. So they're just different types of points, essentially. You know, we're not trying to necessarily make sex and pleasure a game. But I think that can be like, you know, it can help us understand it kind of similar to like a prostate versus like a penile orgasm. Like they're both great. They're very different. But those ones don't usually happen together, whereas squirting an orgasm can. But I think this just comes from, I mean, a lot of times porn because that's, you know, how often are you going to actually get to see someone poor in person?

And for, I mean, when everyone, anyone starts squirting and they're like wild about it. I'm like, talk to me in a couple of years because you're going to start hating it if it's something that you do regularly. There's that initial kind of like honeymoon period that I had it too in like, especially my first year, squirting because I was like, oh my God, my body can do this thing. I know how to pull the trigger. Other people seem to enjoy it because it's validating for their own egos. I have this fun party trick. It's a lot easier for me to do than orgasm. So it was something that I really like leaned on, but I have a love-hate relationship with it.

And like one of my main quotes is that squirting is overrated. I think for how much it's built up to be, like it's not that great. Like I wouldn't give it up because of what it's taught me about my body. And the control has given me over my pleasure and like understanding of my body. But man, I hate it sometimes. Very frustrating. Because sometimes it could happen without you wanting it to happen. that the reason why you have that love-hate relationship to it?

Because sometimes you just can't help it and you're squirting and you don't want to. Like can you hold it back? Yeah, like sometimes I want to have an experience and not worry about squirting. So like you can, you know, I can pull the trigger. I can make myself squirt. But it's harder to stop myself from squirting. And once you turn the faucet on, it's a little bit hard to turn it off. But again, it's going to be for like, you know, with different bodies where some bodies only squirt

in a certain way. It's not the same way for everyone. And some bodies like that's when they experience pleasure, this is how their body expresses themselves. And partially it's for like, you know, the mess of, there are ways that you can deal with the cleanup, but then having to have the mental capacity of like, okay, let's get the pad out. How do I use this pad up? Let's get the other one. And just, and depending on where I am or if I'm prepared, like sometimes I just don't feel like doing it or in dealing with that. And so I'm in the process with my community manager creating our squirder partner handbook because one thing I've heard from a lot of people who squirt is like they have to do so much education and explaining

to their partners and lovers and like I just want to take that burden off of them. So like one of the biggest takeaways is like if you are with someone who may squirt or is a like reliable squirter, just be like proactive about the cleanup process and the prep process and just don't have them being the only ones to worry about it. And that is. just, I can not tell you how helpful it is that my partner, like, proactively will get the pads and blankets out and we'll proactively change them and just, and never complains about the mess or any of that because he knows that I hate it too. Right. And you would be worrying more about it if your partner wasn't even taking into consideration. That's what you're saying. It sort of takes the burden off of you being 100% having to worry about it. Right. And like, I mean, this one, this comparison is a little bit different, but I think of it like for so much. of my youth and now like I have to worry about if I'm having sex with someone with a penis of like are they going to just shove it in me or are they going to put a condom on before and I am so conscious of where their genitals are in relation to mine if we haven't had a condom on that I can't even enjoy the experience and that's kind of what it's like when I'm thinking about like if I'm being pleasureed and there isn't like protection or stuff around and like even if I'm not sure if I'm going to squirt today it's something very similar so like this shouldn't all be on the onus of

the person being penetrated or the person doing the squirting. Speaking of penetration and squirting, has me thinking about the motor bunny. Do you know what the motor bunny is? It's a saddle style vibrator that's similar to the Sibian, but it's better because it's more affordable and it's more advanced. You could turn it up to 11, okay? It rotates one way and then it goes another way.

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going to have any presents for, okay, so get your Motor Bunny now. After Black Friday, use my code strictly at MotorBunty.com for $60 off Motor Bunny buck or Motor Bunny original. Thanks Motor Bunny for sponsoring this episode. And so you're in relationship now. I am. I'm in my first relationship. It's a big deal. Yeah, I know. I know because you were talking earlier and I was going to say like because, you know, being super competitive and hyper confident and very into being independent, you know, that would, you have to really, it would, you're fishing out of a very small pond. I mean, it really, honestly, it really took going to sex and love addicts anonymous for me to kind of take this new approach to dating and. like finding a partner and it was something where it's like these are things about me that are like a part of me and important to me and like I need to find someone who like really likes those

things about me and really likes the competitive aspect and my partner's in very understanding that he knows this is my first relationship he knows I have um a lot of trouble being vulnerable and feeling my emotions and all of that and he's very patient about it too um but I was lucky to find someone who, I mean, he's probably not as competitive as I am, but he really likes football. We feel very lucky that we're two complete football nerds in New York City

of all places. So there's a lot that we can share too, but I think I'm really appreciative of his approach to my squirting because he just lets me lead with how I'm feeling about it. And like sometimes I love it and sometimes I hate it and

he gets to love it and hate it with me and understand that it's just like a part of my body's process and sometimes I get really ticked off at it. Now, are you in an open relationship with him or, you know, what, how do you identify if you do? Yeah, we are in an open relationship and like it's, I mean, it's, since it's my first relationship, it's obviously my first open relationship and it's his first open relationship. So that's been a large learning process and, you know, with its like challenges and it's ups and downs and like, ultimately it forces us to communicate about things we might not otherwise have and really

grow from that too. And I'm kind of learning, like, I think there was a thought where I'm like, oh my gosh, maybe I'm polyamorous. I never thought that. And then more recently I'm like, oh, actually, I don't think I'm polyamorous. I think I value my alone time way too much to have two emotional relationships, at least with someone who like lives in the same city as me. But I was discussing this with a friend the other day. My main like beef with monogamy, is not this whole like one person to satisfy all of our needs thing it's more of that like I have to abstain from sexual relationships with other people to prove how much I love you and I'm committed to you that seems like it's really out of fear of like you know how I realize that

I don't really get jealous and like another way I have severe abandonment issues but how I've been able to really cope with that is kind of like a similar thing we were talking before about like the fear and shame. It's that like, okay, well, if you're with other people and then you're still with me and you feel the same about me and we get the same kind of relationship, then like, I just got to look my abandonment issues in the face and give it the finger. So I get to confront that immediately, which is better than me just continually worrying of like, oh, is this person going to leave me? Do they really like me? Like, able to do it in this capacity. But I was able to kind of practice that with like the casual relationships that I had prior, whether it was people

in other relationships or, you know, submisses that are really into, like, cuck holding, you know, which can be like a form of open relationship. So I've been, I've been able to be exposed to a lot of other types to see how I would feel about that. But it's obviously different once, you know, you're in the relationship. And then I have another person's feelings and, like, their insecurities and vulnerabilities to deal with as well. And so before you were in a relationship, were you doing threesome with couples and stuff like that? I mean, is that, I mean, is that, I know that you said you tried a lot of different things. I'm assuming that was one of them. Yeah. Like threesomes with couples, like orgies, fours them, threesomes with not couples.

Dating people that were in relationships and not dating both of them. Like, you know, I tried, I try to, it's not that I was just kind of trying everything, but I was, as I was trying things, I'm like, what do I like? What do I not like? And I discovered of like, okay, I only like having three sums with certain types of couples. Or I only like to do dating of people that are in a relationship if they have this type of relationship or whatever it may be. So it kind of took more trial and error. And a lot of me feeling really dejected and rejected and then tossed aside to figure these things out.

And I talk about it a lot on social media in this like three-sum series of like what I learned by having sex with couples. And I'm actually going to, there's this one couple that I hook up with them and then I hook up with them individually too, but they're getting married next year. and I'm going to go to their wedding. And I'm going to bring, and this is so,

it's so funny, I'm bringing my, my boyfriend to the couple I hooked up with wedding. Right. Yeah. Yeah, that's amazing. I love that. I mean,

you don't get more involved than that. Yeah, and I think the mistake a lot of people make, and honestly what I've encountered as like a single in other people's non-monogamy, is more of that like, this calculated control. Like,

okay, we're going to be open, but only under these guidelines and rules. And the rules are there to kind of, like not necessarily safeguard themselves, but protect themselves by preventing, by avoiding. And I always say to people, like, think about what you can add to neutralize a bad feeling instead of avoid the bad feeling. Because if you avoid the bad feeling, you're just avoiding it.

It's going to come up. Like, avoiding something just pushes it away further. But if we can neutralize it, you know, we can find the antidote, then, you know, it doesn't matter if that feeling comes up or then we begin to have control over that. So I think people put a lot of control of like, you can hook up with other people under these stipulations. And I have veto power if it doesn't work for me. And that just turns into like kind of manipulating and micromanaging our partners instead of seeing like, okay, if this thing comes up, let's figure it out together. Like I started seeing another person and I started developing like not like necessarily like romantic feelings about them.

But like, you know, I cared about them as a partner. And that was something that I didn't expect to happen. So I didn't really prepare my boyfriend for it. But as it came up, it's like, well, let's discuss it. Like I didn't expect this either, but let's work through it together. Let's work through the uncomfortable feelings. Let's like, you know, see what we need to do. That's also considering this other person and their feelings, too,

because we can't just start them because they're not in our relationship. Right. So what would you say to the person, you know, that's trying a threesome out? And, you know, because I find, you know, I've talked to so many different people. I have over 400 episodes. A lot of couples that have done swinging or opening up their relationship successfully, some not so successfully. But a lot of times I do hear that in the beginning, you know, a lot of people start out

with rules and regulations and that sort of brings up the conversations that people have. And then eventually those fall by the way say, but what would you say to the woman or the man who is in an open relationship and they're just starting out? And they see their, you know, seeing their partner, maybe kiss somebody. is a boundary, like they don't want that. You know, that's too intimate. That's something that they, you know, they want to create a rule. Like, how would you say that they should sort of ease into that as opposed to move away from it or keep that as a rule?

Well, I think, except for maybe some scenarios, like somebody wanting to explore their sexuality, but wanting to do it with their partner, I think it's a lot easier to explore non-monogamy, like, separately than to try to have a three-son together. So ask yourself, like, why it is. that you want to either open relationship and have a threesome. And I think a lot of times people are like, I want to spice things up. Things have gotten stale. And I want,

and like, there are plenty of easier ways where you can spice up your relationship, but don't involve a third person that you can potentially hurt. And just, like, really exposing yourself to a lot. Like I talk about, I actually had someone else and myself, we talked about our first time at, like, a sex party.

And both of us thought we were going to have, like, a really grand time because we loved group sex. And we were exhibition. and we both had a horrible time and we're like what happened and we have like an identity crisis. So like you're confronted with a lot in these situations and you're not necessarily going to behave the way that you think you are. So you know, figure out why that is. And then I also encourage you like if you do want to have group sex or a threesome, especially

if it's like involving one other person. And Sam of shrimp keys that made a post about this recently that I think it's very true. But like there's no shame in hiring a sex worker. If you want a very specific thing and not to hurt someone, then hire someone to be able to do this instead of involving a third party that you're going to potentially hurt. I can't tell you how many times I've been the third person and not being considered of like, okay, well, I don't know how I'm going to feel about my partner kissing someone,

so you can't kiss the third person. Well, that kind of sucks for the third person if that's how they feel intimacy. And like, you know, do they get a say or are they aware of any of these boundaries? It's a lot of time it really is two versus one. It's this couple's privilege. And the third person going into it already has less power because they're outnumbered. Yeah, that's a really interesting perspective that I've never heard. And I've just never even considered, I have to say.

A lot of times I'm talking to the couple or I'm talking, you know, but it's never that third person, maybe you would be called the quote unquote unicorn at some point in your life where you were hooking up with couples. You were that third person. And you felt shafted by those rules because you, it wasn't taking into consideration what you wanted. It was the rules for their couple and without consideration for you. There was no communicating with that third person, which was you.

And that bothered you. Yeah. And I mean, I got into that at first, too. I was like, oh, a couple's inviting me into their relationship. We have to protect their relationship at all costs. Their needs are more important than mine. I will go along with it, make sure they don't feel threatened and all that. And, like, that was a disservice not only to them, but to myself.

And it kind of helped me realize that, like, the couples I really enjoy hooking up with are, it's kind of the same thing of individuals I enjoy hooking up with. It's someone that I, at least I want to maintain some sort of relationship afterwards, whether it's sexual or not or a friendship. So the couples I most enjoy are the couples that I'm going to be like, let's hang out and not have sex. I'll enjoy either one immensely. And that also kind of, it made the kind of communication that I wanted. It kind of made us feel more like a team. so I didn't have to worry about anyone's jealousy, about anyone ghosting me, or not having the gall to, like, have a conversation with me, too.

Right. So, right, you show up and it's like they've already had the conversation about what's going to go down, but you're not in the know, and then maybe you're blindsided, and that doesn't make you feel good. And, you know, there's some asterisk to that, I think, especially if you're, like, planning a three-some via an app or someone you meet somewhere, whereas, you know, if you go to a sex party or like a lifestyle or resort or something like that, these are places that are more conducive and open to really more like casual fun.

And especially if you do go to these as a single, like these are places where I can more engage with like more random people or that I haven't had a lot of as much negotiation and conversation with because they're going to be people I know there. So if you don't give me aftercare after whatever it is that we engage in, my friend's over there and like I can go chat with them and cuddle with them or something like that. So, you know, there's still other solutions if you're like, you know, figure out what your hangedups are if you don't want to hire a sex worker. If you have qualms of like spending money or something of that nature.

But it really is going to complicate things less. And, you know, this person's also probably been there before as well too. And they're just dedicated to you having a good time. You don't really have to worry about their like enjoyment or not because it's, You know, I mean, they might, but they might not. They probably enjoy their job. But, like, this is also, you know, their job. They're professional.

Right. It's a little bit more transactional, but that could work in certain situations for sure. And now, you said that you loved group sex. You were into it. I mean, you, but the first time, was it the first time that you went to that group sex party that you, you said you had, like, the worst time. Like, how come? So that was also a process because it was actually the first two times. And then there were still some other times where, you were.

I like cried and left or I cried and like a friend came over consoled me and then I left. But it was, it was, it was, it really depended on the party and kind of figuring that out. And then also like if I know anyone else there, if I go alone. Like when you go to any party, it's going to be easier if you have someone else there, even if it's a friend or a couple of friends or a partner or whatever it is. But especially, you know, having not been in a romantic relationship and having felt like, I needed someone to engage in all of these things, going to a party that was very

couple-centered or like couples and unicorns and things like that, that ended up being very triggering for me if I was like trying, things weren't working out, and I'm just presented with all these people, these couples that are engaging in having the time that they want to have, and I'm still reliant on a couple or another person. That was just very triggering and upsetting for me and my history.

And like, you know, for other people, it might be another reason that like these parties are very, confronting and you realize a lot of stuff you're like oh okay well that's an issue i didn't know about um which i think is great and i think it's helpful to be able to work through but i was able to deduce like what kind of parties that i feel safe and comfortable at to hang out and also more importantly like what parties am i going to have fun at if i don't have sex because i i would say like for the most part i don't have sex at sex parties like they're the majority of the ones that i've been to so like which ones am i going to have fun at and this sex happens great wonderful if it

doesn't also fine. Right. Oh, that's interesting. And now, did you meet your guy in the lifestyle? Well, so I met him on an app called Field that I'm actually an ambassador of, which I love that. Honestly, pretty much anyone I have ever dated or had group play with, if it wasn't at a party, was through this app. And I really like it just because it puts, like, sexuality at the forefront of the conversation. So if you're not able to engage with like the conversation about sexuality, like an adult or like, you know, if you proposition me like the first message and you can't just, you know, have a conversation, that becomes a lot more evident there than it would on another app. So I met my, my boyfriend there. And I think like he's a pretty vanilla person. I think he was like in a

little bit of exploration towards the tail end of it when I met him. So he wasn't really like, you know, in the lifestyle or whatever we're going to call it. But I met him there. And also it's like I find people are more accepting of like, you know, my, my job, my practices, my clients, like different things that I'm going to engage in that might be difficult for someone else to accept. But I met him there. I met the other person that I'm currently seeing there. That's where I met the couple whose wedding I'm going to. I've met so many

wonderful, like, friends turned colleagues, lovers, boyfriends. Like, I've met so many amazing people on that app. And, you know, I've met a lot of horrible people. They're F-E-E-L-D. Right. And, like, what's their tagline?

Is it really about open relationships? Is it a threesome app? You know, how do they... So initially, initially it was a threesome app and I started using it. It was, like, really geared towards threesome. And I say that's probably a lot at the core of it because you can be on the app as a couple or as a single or a little mix of both. But it's really like apps for for people who don't fit into like one specific

mold. So I think it's a really great app too for people who are gender nonconforming, who are trans or queer. Like there's so many different options to say like what gender do you identify as? What sexuality do you identify as? And you can change those things. And, and also, So like, what are you open to dating and you get to choose all of those as well? So, like, right off the bat, there's just so many more queer people on there. And especially in regards to, like, men specifically, queer men make me more comfortable than, you know, cis or straight men do. Yeah. So, and that has to do a lot with, like, you know, rebuking societal expectations and standards.

But it can be anything, honestly, like, you can be vanilla and use that app. You don't have to be experienced and use that. it's more of, it's a sex positive app. And sex positive doesn't mean I like sex. Sex positive means the way that anyone chooses to express and engage in their sexuality, in their kink, in their relationship is good and fine and healthy as long as it is like risk aware, as long as it is consensual, as long as it is safe. Yeah.

And so your guy, because you said your guy was vanilla, kind of, right? He was just starting to explore and he was on that app and found you. Now, were you, Lola Jean on there? Like he, you know, they, you had, was there someplace on there that talked about all the things that you did? Or did you have to sit across from him and reveal exactly what you were into and what you do and all that kind of stuff? Yeah. The way I like to put it to people is like, you know, I say, here's who I am. Here's what I do.

And then like, here's about me and what I'm looking for. The people I like were like, like, here's why, like, here's the reason you might not like me. And that off the bat gives people like, you know, if they want to immediately start talking to me about my job, and giving me like an interview or trying to get advice, probably not the person for me. Because I want someone who treats me like a person. And I always tell the people I date, like, I want you to get to know me before you get to know my persona.

Because I don't want to talk about all that stuff off the bat, but it's something that like, you know, my job's very important to me and it's a large part of my life. So I do talk about it a lot. But it's really of instead of trying to like impress people, I'm just talking to people and seeing what they reveal to me, what are they trying to tell me. got like after sex and love addicts anonymous, I got really deep on like what are the qualities

that I need and I'm looking for and what are situations where I'm trying to like force it because I'm attracted to them or because they have this great sense of humor or because they're into this kink that I'm into. So I stopped really trying to force it and like these are the qualities that are important to me. If they don't embody this, this isn't a person that I should engage in and I just shouldn't ask any questions right after that. But I present my I mean like you know obviously like this is my, you know, partially my persona, but partially my identity. But I do gate that as well. Like, the personal details about me, I don't give that right away or at all. Like, that is after a while. People will ask me, they'll be like, oh, is Lowell your real name? I'm like, no. They're

like, well, what is it? And I'm like, I'm not going to tell you. Right. That's like, that's what's now personal and private information or like people ask like where I grew up or something like that. So it's more of like, you know, getting to know individuals. then maybe a traditional like, you know, bumble or Tinder game of, you know, like 20 questions. Yeah, no, and I ask because I, you know, I'm always talking to a lot of people who have kinks and fetishes, but they are afraid to tell their partner, you know, they're in a relationship. Like, you know, and I've had a lot of people like you who are in relationships and they're totally out with their kinks and their fetishes and their partner is fine with it.

And a lot of times it's because they went into their relationship fully like this is who I am. am, you know, take it or leave it. But, you know, I didn't know when you put that on the table with your guy. And what would you say to somebody else that maybe has Kings and Fetishes and are, you know, afraid to tell their partner? Well, I mean, one thing is a thing that was really important to me that might be important to other people is like I wanted someone who is able to have difficult conversations. And it was able to have conflict conversations because if they're able to do that, then we're able to talk about anything. then they're able to like if they're uncomfortable with something or something, you know, making them upset. They can talk to me about it instead of letting that fester because a lot of the time maybe they think of,

oh, she has this fetish and kink. If I can't satisfy it, she's going to be unsatisfied in our relationship. And it's like, no, actually that's like that's a fetish I have, but I don't have to engage in it to find enjoyment because there's a lot of misconception that, you know, a fetish is something we require in order to orgasm. But that's a very limited definition of that. And so, like, I don't mind, like, you know, a little bit of education depending on what it is. I'm not going to, like, you know, be someone's, like, you know, intro-level DOM and help them figure all of that out without a little bit of, like, help from them. But I was open, like, I want people to, like, ask questions and not take things at face value.

It's kind of how I chose my therapist, too. I was like, I don't want her to take things at face value. I wanted to understand it's all dynamic and, like, changing. but I think of if you are scared of telling a partner about one of your desires, ask yourself why that is. And a lot of this has to do with shame of, you know, is it shame that's coming from yourself? Is it coming from society or is it coming from this other person? Because also, if it ever, even if you reveal it and it does come from that other person,

that is still a projection, that is still their feelings around whatever this thing is you reveal to them and not about you. even if they're like, well, I can't look at you the same now that I know you like to be peed on. It's like, well, that's you. And like, what is your relationship with like, you know, a golden shower? You don't have to do it with me. I reveal to you that I like this thing, but you don't have to do that. And we need to kind of divorce ourselves that our partners need to validate our kinks for them to be valid for us.

Right. They're valid. Like, you know, something is still an interest, whether our partner likes it or chooses to engage with it or not. They don't have to do it with us just because someone loves us and cares about us doesn't mean that they have to pee on us. You know, that's totally within their right. One of my fetishes is holding my partner's penis while he pees or watching him pee. And he does not like that. And I respect that.

He knows I really want it. He knows I want to do it. But it kind of creeps him out a little bit. So I don't engage in that with him. He knows that like the minute he's like, I want to do this, I am so down. but like that's that that's just like another part of it but then also you're going to have to ask yourself if this is this kanker fetish or desire is this something that's integral to your relationships whether they be sexual or romantic because if the answer is yes these are things that you need to determine up front so you don't get to this place you're like oh man I invested all this time and you know you don't want to do anal and that's like part of my identity so if that is a part whether you know it's more available like, you know, submissive or kink thing or it's more of like a sex party or open relationship thing. You need to get on the same page of that in the beginning. And it could either

be this person has to be on board or this person has to be open to it or open to having like the conversation. Because they, you know, some people need education and time and curiosity and they need to be able to sexualize it for themselves. But those are the main things as well as, you know, sometimes we're going to need to explain. of like, here's why this is important to me. Here's why I find this attractive. Because, like, that's one thing that I do to normalize and humanize a lot of kinks. If someone really likes, you know, if they like orgasm denial and they like chastity and

like, why, why is it that you like that you like that? And, you know, I've had a submissive tell me, like, I just like feeling really desperate. Like, I will do anything. I like feeling in a desperation mode. I'm like, well, that's kind of fun. I can play with that. I understand that. Versus just thinking of, okay, you don't want to orgasm.

I'm just preventing you from pleasure. And it's like, no, no, it's a desperation thing that does it for me, not the prevention of pleasure thing. So when we hear our partners reasoning for things, that can really help us gain a better understanding. Right. And so when you put your things out there, I mean, what are your kinks? I see, like, when I did a little deep dive on you, you know, that you have some videos

about choking and paging and you've done this squirting thing in your DOM so you're into BDSM. I mean, that kind of stuff, when you put that on the table with your goals. guy, how did he feel about those things? Or are those things that, first of all, I don't know if those are your kinks, but, you know, is that stuff that you talked to him about in the beginning? Yeah, I mean, actually, the funny thing is when I met him on the app, I was in, I was in L.A. And I just thought he was in L.A.

Yeah. But I guess we had matched beforehand. He was in New York. But I was doing a pegging class and my model had dropped out. And I was, like, looking for someone that I could, like, you know, finger the butthole of or something. front of people. And he had initially agreed to it, but I don't think he understood what I was asking, and I explained it. And he's like, oh, yeah, absolutely not. And then it was like, oh, also I'm not in L.A. And, like, Lord knows why he agreed to that, because he would never do but stuff for, like, you know,

a lot of personal reasons and, like, bathroom reasons. But that was initially how I had come up. So, you know, a lot of my interests, and then one of the other funny interests is on my profile, one of my interests is otters. And he thought that I meant like otters. What's that? O-T-E-R-S? Otters? Yeah. So he thought I meant like the animal.

Yeah. Oh, my God, I love otters. They're the best. I meant in like the gay sense of like I like small hairy men. Oh. That's an otter in the gay community. That's what they call it? Exactly.

Yeah. Yeah. But you know how there's like bears and things like that. Yeah. Oh, there's otters. He's kind of, yeah. So, like, you know, there are a couple, like, misunderstandings there, but, you know, it was something that I put out there, and I always say to people about, like, you know,

pegging something I really enjoy, but I don't have to do this with everyone. Like, a lot of the things that I do with a DOM, like, that's more dependent on the submissive. There's things that I like as a DOM and things that I don't like as a DOM, but that doesn't mean that I have to be a DOM with everyone else. And I have a bit of, like, a switchy bratty. side as well, and, you know, liking to be more of, like, you know, a damsel and struggling and, like, kidnap fantasies and things like that. But, I mean, these are not things that he wasn't really comfortable with and who knows if he will in the future, but that I had decided previously that, like,

kink isn't an integral part of my romantic or sexual relationships. I just want to be able to engage with it in some way, whether that's professionally or in, like, an outside relationship. and like, you know, there's submisses that I keep, some of which are sexual, some of which are not sexual at all as well, like kind of around the world. So I'm always able to engage in it in some capacity. And I think I'm learning too a lot of the times in romantic relationships, at least for me, like, it can, unless there's an established identity, it can be really tough bringing a kink dynamic into it when that's not something that feels natural to both parties, especially because, you know, I'm already an educator and a teacher and like it's going to feel a lot of me teaching and controlling.

And that can be really like tough for someone as well. Yeah, no, for sure. I mean, that's what that's, you know, those people that have these kings and they're not telling their partner. And then a lot of times I, you know, because they're their biggest fear and I think it does happen a lot as that partner. Like if they're not into it, they're kind of like their biggest worry is going to be, well, then how am I going to please you if this is what you need? But like you said, it's not that, you know, everyone, it's not, sometimes it's not an integral part of your intimacy. So if it, but for some people that it is, then that might be a deal breaker. Right.

Or in other cases, it's like, okay, you really want to be, you want to be peed on. I don't want to pee on you. Like, can I pick out the person who pees on you and you do it and come tell me about it? Right. Or like, is there, you know, I always say like involve yourself in it in some way, even if you're not the one actually doing it. So, like, you know, one of my partners really likes, like, skull fucking. And that is a big no for me. But it's like, okay, well, what if I, you know, sent you to go do that, or I pick someone else to go do that

for you? Or, like, you know, I'm still involved in it. I'm still centering myself in it. But I'm not actually doing the experience. So there's plenty of ways that you can get really, really creative with Kink, where you don't have to do the actual thing yourself. Because some people maybe they're like, I want to do bathroom play, but I don't want my wife to do it because I don't want to, you know, look at her in that way. And it's like,

that's fine. You can, like, you know, there's plenty of reasons why you wouldn't want it to be your partner to engage in something either. But, I mean, that's like the more integral something is, the earlier you share it. And a lot of times when I share the kinks or fetishes that I have, I don't put any pressure on my person to engage with it or to like it because they haven't had the time that I've had to sexualize these things and discover these things. I've just told them about it. So they need to have that time to think on it and still on it. And it's not me just asking them, hey, are you going to fulfill this thing or not? Are you going to do this? I'm just sharing, this is a thing that I'm into. I'm sharing it with you because I want to share it with you.

There's no pressure to do it. We can talk about it again if you want. You can ask questions if you want. And that puts a lot more of the ball in their court and puts them under a lot less pressure or feeling like I have to do this to keep this relationship alive. Now, do you help. with this kind of thing? I mean, you say you're a mental health professional. Is that what you do? Do you offer services to people that are out there that would maybe want to talk to you and you could help them, you know, with all the things that you're talking about now? Yeah, I mean, in my mental health job, that's more, I'm a medical technician. I do services that help treat people with OCD, PTSD, depression, anxiety. But in this respect, so I don't do like a lot of traditional, like, you know, coaching. coaching where I see people multiple times. But I do offer these kind of like band-aid coaching. So on Fridays I do like 30-minute coaching that basically is, you know, you have a knot.

I'm going to unravel it a little and I'm going to give you homework and then send you somewhere else to help to start untying that knot, whether it's a different coach, whether it's therapy. So this has been for things from kink to non-monogamy to, you know, sexual dysfunction, like lots of different things where I think people, People just need someone to point them in the right direction. And sometimes, you know, like I'll be able to help people, give them the validation or unravel, whatever it is that they need.

But usually I'm just pointing them in the right direction and giving them resources. Right. And you do that on Fridays. How would somebody be able to find you or, you know, show up there on a Friday or, you know, to have that phone call with you. Yeah. Yeah, it's all virtual. It's on my website, lollulogene.com. I think if you go into the about section, you can find the Friday coaching, and there's just different slots that you can choose from.

It's $75 for 30 minutes. So, you know, very affordable, but also like very short, not a big time commitment. You know, if you feel the need to meet with me again, then we can do that. But coaching is like, I like it, but it's not like my love and passion. It's not where I like creating classes, experience and environments for many, many people to engage. So like the individualized experience is, you know, I have a lot of colleagues that are wonderful at this and like it a lot more than I do. So I usually will defer out to them based on, you know, whatever, like, if you have a non-monogany thing, I'll send you to Baron Fifi. If you have more of like a shame route, maybe I'll send you to my friend Val.

Like I have a lot of people, whether they are therapists or coaches, that I can send people to for help with these. And sometimes it's things where I'm like, I am not an expert in this, but I know someone who is. Yeah, but that's great. I mean, that's why I think that that 30-minute call with you is great because you're in that world. You know the right people. I mean, and that's what it's always about. It would take someone a long time to probably find the right person for their, you know, their specific needs. And they could also find out about your classes on your website. I mean, where do you, are your classes virtual? Yeah, there's. Yeah, pretty much all of my classes are virtual now. And if they're not, I'm transitioning them to that. Yeah. I'm working on getting a new, Because basically the video class platform I had was originally supposed to be just a couple. But now I have so many. So I'm working on moving to a new platform, but you can still find them at lollogene.com slash LJ class. There's a bunch of class recordings from the three-sum series to doming to verbal domination. And kind of to your point before, too, I think with the coaching, I think a lot of people think.

But my problem is very specific and individualized with the way this is with me and my partner. and they'll come to me and I'll be like, okay, I've heard this one before. Here's what I'm hearing. And like, that's what it is. Sometimes you just need another perspective to unravel it in that way. But a lot of times I will direct people to my classes.

I'm like, hey, I talked about this thing for two hours and I talked about a lot of different, you know, scenarios that you might identify with or different, you know, practices. I do have a couple of free classes that you can access on the same link. I believe the consent in conversation and dirty talk is one of the free ones as well as Awaken. libidos and some masturbation tracks as well for people with vulvas and one coming up for people with penises too. So there's, you know, there's a smattering of free offerings, a lot of affordable

offerings, and then I have some more high-end video classes that do a deep dive on a couple of topics that are out as well. And then people could also, I'm assuming, get onto email list so that when your carnival is, you know, touring. Yeah. Circus carnival. I keep calling a carnival. I think What was the name of the circus you said? I thought it was a great name. The Cirque to squirt. So it's like Cirque Soleil, but a lot wetter. Yeah, yeah, that's awesome.

So they'll be able to be in the know when that happens. Quick question about, you know, because I feel like I didn't ask enough questions about your volume squirting. How much was it? How much did you squirt in that four seconds that was the world record? Well, so four seconds is what I need to start squirting.

Yeah. But it was, I squirted 1250 miller. liters in 25 seconds. So give me a visual of that. Is that like one, like, you know, like in maybe a water bottle visual? Like, I mean, how much is that? So that's, it's 1.25

liter, so that's about like five and a quarter cups. Wow. In 25 seconds? Yeah. How did you do that? I mean, is there, is there a method to that or is that just, you just realize, oh, my body just produced?

So so much, I mean, how does that happen? I mean, like, I'll make sure I'm hydrated in the days leading up to it. I make sure that there's, like, a certain level of arousal, but it's really just like the mind vulva connection. And also that it's not like my body, my body both produces that much. And also I'm capable of doing it on command as well. So it was something where when I was like kind of practicing it before, with my friend Tiana, I was just like, I was like, okay, well, should I space it out over

a minute or should I just do it as fast as I can. They're like, do it as fast as you can. It's more impressive that way. It's like, okay. Very impressive. And I think like when I did a practice round, I think I got like 900 milliliters and like 30 seconds and like I wasn't really prepped or anything. I wasn't like preparing. So I didn't have like, you know, my, you know, before I did my performance, I kind

of like, you know, masturbated a little bit before I went on stage. So I was like basically like ready to pop. Yeah. Um, for a performance pretty much. But a lot of like, you know, the high. and adrenaline definitely factors into it. But it's just something like once I get going, I can, like that's my thing.

I can produce a lot, a lot of volume and liquid. And that's something that's been consistent really for the past like six or five years since I've been reliably squirting. Yeah, well, I mean, because I think 25 seconds is not really that long. And if you're getting five and a half cups, that's unbelievable. And I do it without penetrating myself and without orgasming to, I mean, that's. how I do it anyway, but it's also kind of to prove a point.

So, meaning you just do it with your hands? Yeah, with my hand, like externally. I just, I rub my clitoris. I don't put my hand inside of my vagina. So you don't even have to hit that G spot. You could just, just like, no. Interesting.

Is that how it always was? Or did you work towards that? Yeah, no, the first, the first time I, or the first time, at least, I was aware that I squared it. It was when someone was going down on me, so there was nothing inside of me. But, like, there's plenty of ways where we can engage in our G spot that isn't manually. And for a lot of people, that area is really sensitive because it's a bunch of erectile tissue

and it's this central part of our internal clitoris. So, like, having hand simulation there can, that can be a bit too much. Yeah. Especially because, like, it's mostly the engorgement of the G spot that you need and not the actual stimulation. For the actual simulation to expel it, just has to be something you like. So I'm able to, like, engage with my pelvic floor muscles that surround I mean both the clitoris, the vagina, but then also like, I mean, our pelvic floor does everything.

It's pretty important. But you can engage with it that way via your muscles and then you just do something that you really like, which for me is like, you know, externally kind of on the shaft of my clitoris. Wow. And so that's how you did it for the world. I've done. I have been, there's been like a couple times in my life just from pure boredom and curiosity where I have been able to squirt without touching myself. And it hasn't been that much. It's just been a little bit.

But, like, it was, yeah, just using my muscle groups and, like, engaging with my body. I have been able to do it without any simulation at all. Yeah, that's amazing. I'm going to put all your links. People are going to be going Googling for you right now, I'm sure. I'll put all your links. You know, I'll put a link to your website. Anything else?

Just email it to me so people could check you out. You're amazing. Let me know when you are doing your circustis, so squirt. I can't forget the name straight, but it's such a great fucking name. I'll definitely tell people on my show because I think it's great. I'm in New York City. I'll tell my friends. But good luck with everything. Yeah, come to the next one.

How long you've been dating your guy for? We made it official actually like in the beginning of the pandemic. So I guess it's been a bit over a year and a half. The funny part of it is that like we were like loosely seeing each other before the pandemic. And then once the pandemic hit, I was like, you know, what's going on with us? What are we? Can I call you my boyfriend? and we didn't see each other for the first month and a half that we were dating because

he's like, we can't see each other until this pandemic is over. And I was like, okay. You know, it turns out it's never over. So he like caved like I think a month and a half in. But like it was the first like month or two of our relationship. Like we were a straight Zoom. Yeah, that's interesting. And I feel like, you know, a relationship that had like a one in a year in a pandemic.

I mean, what is that equal to like a regular year? Do you know what I mean? I think it's more. I know. That's longer. That says pandemic years. Yeah. Like, what is pandemic years?

So, I mean, it feels, I feel like you've stood the test of the time, right? If you could get through that in a couple. So congrats on your relationship. Thanks so much for calling in. You're fascinating. There's like a million more things I could have talked to you about, but we just have an hour. So, you know, I'd love to have you back on.

Maybe one day I'll do like a cue and with my audience because I feel like they'd have a million questions for you. But I'll definitely put your links and thanks so much for calling in. Yeah, absolutely. Thank you. Bye. All right. Bye.

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