Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 432 - Merry Sparkletits is a Polyamorous Cuckquean

Episode Date: December 13, 2021

Merry Sparkletits is a polyamorous cuckquean and she calls in to talk all about it. When did she first realize she was poly? When did she realize she was a cuckquean? And, when did she start having open relationships? Tune in for all the details which include how her foray into polyamory was messy at first and how she navigated through it, her first open relationship and why that eventually ended, who they could and could not play with and how that led to her being more comfortable dating women, the threesomes they had and what went down, the scenarios that happened to were made her realize she had cuckquean tendencies and how far she takes them, her interest in tease and denial, bdsm, degradation,  videos of her partners with other women, relationship anarchy, how she got involved in the non monogamy meetup in her area and began running it, what she closed her OnlyFans account, how she's open about all that she's into, why she's called Merry Sparkletits and a whole lot more.  Anddddd, stay tuned because I have a very titilating part two with Merry and its just all hot stories... **To see anonymous pics of Merry and most of my other guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the strictly anonymous podcast. Strictly anonymous podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. The Craigslist is definitely like the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Singapore or Thailand. You can't not do it.

The temptation is just too much. Your friend know that you're banging her or no? No, he has no idea. And anything goes. The motto of the show, let your freak flag fly. Probably the only good advice I'll ever give you is to rehire. your whips and chain. Here is your host, Kathy. Hey, welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast with Kathy. If you want to follow the strictly anonymous podcast on Instagram or Twitter, follow the show at Strict Anonymous.

If you want to be on the show, this is a call and advice show where, you know, people most of the time just calling in to talk about their interesting lives. Sometimes it's secret lives. Sometimes it's not. My guest today, it's not a secret life that she lives, but it's a fucking interesting one, okay? But if you want to be on the show, send me. an email strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. Now, today I have on Mary Sparkletis. Tits. Well, I'm a little obsessed with that name, so I might say it like 80 times on this intro. But she called in because she is a polyamorous cuck queen. She's also a lot of other things. I mean, this girl has been there, done that. She lives it. She is open about it. I didn't have to change her her voice because like I said she this is who she is. We got so much into her backstory today. I'm like,

oh my God, you probably have like a million like other hot stories to tell. And she was like, yeah. And so I was like, come back on. We'll do a part two. And we already taped that part two. And that part two is amazing. I'm going to air it next Sunday. So stay tuned to that. You want to though hear her whole backstory, you know, when she started having threesomes, once you realized she was a cut queen, when she got into BDS. when she started to have open relationships. She talks about all the things that she is into, which is a lot of things.

She has done it all. You've been a Dom. She's been a sub. She likes Shibari tying up. She likes denial and tease and watching her guy with somebody else. And that's the cut queen in her and being denied and being degraded and all of that. She talks about how she got into Polly Amory and how it was messy at first and how she believes much more so in.

relationship anarchy. You're going to find out what that is and why she's into it. She's really good at explaining. She's really honest and open about who she is and she's very sex positive, I have to say. I learned a lot from Mary Sparkletits. You will too. You need to hear this episode to get her backstory and stay tuned because next week you're going to get Mary Sparkletits titillating stories. and if you want to see what Mary's Sparkletits looks like, join my Patreon. I have a bunch of picks of her, and they do not disappoint.

Tons of picks of Mary Sparkletits on my Patreon. Patreon.com slash strictly anonymous podcast. Link is in the description below. I'm going to be right back on with Mary Sparklete. Hi, Mary. Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous Podcast. How are you today? Hi.

I'm great. How are you doing? I'm doing good. I'm very excited to talk to you because before I even talk to you, I know the title of your show. It's Mary is a polyamorous cut queen. I've had polyamorous people on my show before. I had like one or two cook queens and now I have a polyamorous cut queen. And I'm hoping you have a successful polyamorous relationship because I have yet to meet one of those people.

Okay. So let's just get into your, I mean, but to me I'm always saying like polyamory. like I can't even imagine it. You know, it's like hard enough for me to love one person, let alone three, you know. So why don't you like it start with your story? I don't know where you want to start first, but take it from here. Yeah. All right.

So I, about nine years ago, I heard the term polyamory and it was like a light bulb moment for me. It was, I forever before that was like, I don't understand why everyone does. as monogamy. They're terrible at it. Yeah. And it doesn't make sense to me, but I guess it's the thing we do. And I really only was familiar

with swinging prior to that or cheating as the alternative to monogamy. Mm-hmm. Honesty. And just like swinging from what I knew about it was just didn't feel like a fit. Right. So I was just like,

I don't know. I guess I guess I try monogamy and then considered to be terrible at it like most people. Just because of, you know, statistics around infidelity. And then when I heard that polyamory was an option, I, like, just read about it voraciously. Because it just instantly made sense to me. I was like, oh, I can just, like, ethically be intimately connected with more than one

person and have everyone be aware and that's okay. Um, so that's when the light bulb went off was exploring that polyamory was a real option where I could ethically and honestly communicate with people about wants and being intimate with more than one person. Um, so it got a little bit messy at first because I feel like just most people, yeah, in theory, okay, I can love more than one person, but communicating isn't that simple. So a lot of people with being nervous about it would lie about things or not tell me that they were seeing someone else when they were. And for me, I like all the information possible. Yeah.

The more information I have, the less I'm going to be anxious and nervous about it. So that's how that started. But get more specific. So you get into, you know, polyamory. You said the life bulb goes off. realize this is what you want to try. And then you get into it and some people are lying to you and stuff. So you started to date different people.

Like how many, you know, how old were you? Yeah. So just, so at this point I would have been around 25. Uh-huh. Around 25. Right. I'm 34 now. And so I, the first person I tried dating actively being non-monogamous, he, yeah, he cheated on me.

through a variety of, in a variety of ways, and just could not conceptualize that he could actually tell me what he was doing. Yeah, I get that. Yeah. It's stupid, but it happens, right? And you would think, like, why look at gift horse in the mouth? Like, here's a girl that's saying, like, you could totally be down with other people. Just tell me.

And they can because I think that they just don't believe it or, you know, right? I don't know what it is. but I've experienced that. Yeah, there's still this fear of like, but if I actually tell you, you're going to freak out. Yeah. So yeah, I got to a breaking point

and ended that relationship. And then the next more serious relationship I entered, I actually was in for seven years. And that one was what would be called like a one penis policy relationship. So that refers to, I was allowed to see other people, but only women.

And he was allowed to see other people, but only women. I would have been fine either way, but he was not comfortable with me being with other men. Right. And how did that go? That was good in most ways, except I just wasn't fully fulfilled.

I truthfully was like, I want to be able to interact with any person I want to, the way that I want to interact with that person. That's what works for me. Right. So I made it work for as long as I could for a variety of reasons, including like,

his alcohol addiction, I had to remove myself from that relationship. But the positive for me of that experience in terms of it being a one penis policy relationship as it pushed me into trying harder to have relationships with women. Because prior to that, I was interested in women, but it was mostly like I had a couple like sexual encounters but wasn't trying to date women. and that pushed me to try harder to actually date women and so now I have a lot more comfort with dating men or women than I did prior to that.

So through that relationship with him, though, was when I started actually playing with Cuck fantasies and experiences. So prior to that even, it had many things where I was like, before even understanding momodominy, I just was like, it's really hot when I'm, I like notice my partner is flirting with someone else. But, you know, at that point, I'm like, because monogamy is how it's supposed to be, I'm just, it has to stop there, though.

So, like, it's hot if they're, like, flirting with someone else, but it has to stop there. And just as I understood non-monogamy more, I was like, oh, it doesn't have to stop there. So, yeah, it just turned out that, like, every time my partner would go see another woman, I would be really turned on by it. And I would often like masturbate while he was out with another woman because it was like just like hot that he was getting that pleasure from someone else. And now I want to know because I think like when my other girl came on and she was like she's a cuck queen, she said, you know, she went looking for that kind of porn or stuff on that. And she couldn't really find it. And I was like, I have a feeling that a lot of people are going to be listening women, you know, to this episode and put it together like, oh, maybe I'm a cuck queen.

Like there was no maybe label that was out there or maybe there's still a lot of women out there that do get turned on in this kind of way, but they don't really put it together or label themselves. And but maybe were you that way? Like do you know you were into Cup Queen or did you realize it over time? No. No, I didn't know that for the longest time. It was just that I thought that, yeah, it was just, I knew I was like bisexual. it was acceptable to, you know, find other women attractive. So just the concept of like someone, you know, my partner found attractive and I maybe found

attractive, like them flirting was like, oh, that's kind of hot. Yeah. And I had several, like when I was a young adult, like 18, 19, like pseudo relationships where I was sleeping with someone for like months at a time where we weren't in a technically in a relationship and I knew that they were seeing other people and I was always just okay with it. Right. It was just, well, if it makes sense for us to be together, great.

And if you're with someone else, that's cool. Oh, you need a ride to her house. Sure, I'll drop you off. All right. Which, in hindsight, it is not normal. But at the time, I was like, oh, it's totally fine because we're not technically in a relationship. And that's why it's okay. Right.

But were you getting turned on at that point, or did that come later that you then put those connections in later where it actually turned you on? I think it came later the like actually being turned on by it at that point it was a little more neutral of like this is just okay it's totally reasonable and it doesn't bother me and then the being turned on by it was later yeah that was the Polly coming out early

that's the part of you that's like really open in that way and then the turn on part came later because you have both sides of it yeah so then so that guy so you're in that seven year relationship and that's when you start to realize that you really enjoy when he's with the other girl. Now, did you have threesomes together and bring, like, were you all fooled around with the girls?

We did, yeah. So, yeah, we had several threesomes. And there was one woman that we were both seeing for a while, a few months anyways, where we would see her either together or separately for, yeah, a period of months. And, you know, once or twice a week, we would get together with her either the three of us or one of us would go see her. and when he was with her, I'd be like, yeah, send me a picture of you two together or whatever, because just the thought of them being, having sex without me there was just as hot, easily, just as hot or hotter than even if I was involved.

It was just them, seeing them together when I was there also was hot. And it would be three scenes where we all engaged, but sometimes I would just sit back and enjoy watching them enjoy each other. Uh-huh. Um... That's the true cuck thing. And yes. So the kind of pinnacle for me of the like cuck experience of that relationship between the three of us was we were at her house one day, the three of us and we were like watching a show and I fell asleep and they were still awake. Um, and they went off to the room to go have sex.

And I woke up and they weren't, you know, cuddling me anymore. And so I went to go find them and they were in the room and I was like, hey, can I join? And her response was no. And I like kind of died inside in a good way. It was just like, oh wow, that's really hot. So it was, yeah, that was a moment for me because I just went back to the couch and like could hear them having sex in the next room. and like knowing I wasn't allowed to go interact with them. So that was the, like, probably the moment where I was like, oh, wow, that's really hot.

And I think that was when I, around when I discovered the term cut queen because I started looking into, like, you know, if there was porn that was about this or whatever. And there's, like your other, the other cut queen you had on said, it's very, very, very. very, very, very, very hard to find. There are very, very few people who are openly talking about this. Women look at porn as much as men, but I think that they do title porn and organize it. Probably. A lot of it is geared towards men. That's what I mean.

So I think that there's not a lot of cuck queens. Because they're not even considering the female person who's going on there looking for shit. You know what I mean? Like, I don't know if there's any porn people out there, but have more cuck queens. stuff out there because there's probably so many women that are into it that are like you. I mean, I've heard from all the girls that have called in and I think that if you guys are out there, that means that there's so many other people out there doing the same thing. There's just not a lot out there. But you're here to say that that's what you're fucking into. All right. Yeah.

Definitely. Yeah. Yeah. So after a while they did invite me in to join them and I, you know, then we had more of a threesome with the three of us that one day. But like the memorable part was really just like being denied. That's interesting. Yeah, not being allowed to go. That was the highlight. So that was the most extreme situation I had there where it was like full on. Nope, you are not allowed.

And that was fantastic. Right. And you and that guy dated for seven years and you're, but you never got to sleep with guys because he didn't. didn't want it, but you, is that why the relationship ended at the end? Because you felt like, like you said, that you needed to be

more free and have more freedom to see who you wanted? That was a part of it. There was, I mean, most things, most relationships don't end because of one thing. But that was, that was a big part of it. Like, I brought it up several times over the years being

that I wanted to have, be able to be with men also. Yeah. Just because I, for me, now I understand more, I'm more relationship anarchy than polyamory itself. So what that means to me is that if I'm relating with any individual, I just want that relationship to evolve how it naturally would with me in that individual. So I didn't like that my relationship with that one partner impacted how it was allowed to interact in my other relationship.

Even if I didn't, like maybe I didn't want to have sex with other people, but I wanted that to be my decision and that person I was with, not the person who wasn't even there. Right. Uh-huh. So when I talked to him more about that, he just really got upset and he just, it added to his alcohol addiction, which led me to being, yeah, just needing to leave the relationship because it wasn't healthy anymore. It was just toxic.

And then after that, because I think sometimes, especially when you're younger, it, dating people, like sometimes it's important and sometimes you actually realize what you do want by first figuring out what you don't want. Absolutely. Right? In a weird way. So here you are. You tried all these other kind of relationships and now you're at that point. You really know what you want and what doesn't work for you. Because maybe before that you thought you could work like that way with him when you got into that relationship. Right. You're you could be with other people. It's pretty open. Yeah, absolutely. When I had agreed to the one penis policy, it was, from the point of like, yeah, like, I don't feel like I need other dick in my life.

I just want, like, to be able to connect with people. And I do want to be able to, like, have sex with women. Yeah. And so at that point, it felt like, this is okay for now, at least. But it always felt like, but this is a conversation we're going to have again, like, that maybe at some point this is going to come up that I will want sex with men as well. So then after that relationship, what did you go into every new relationship? Like, this is exactly who I am. This is exactly what I want. And you only had those kind of relationships.

Yes. I actually dove really deep into the non-monogamy, my local non-monogamy community, where I became one of the like event organizers for the local non-monogamy meetup group. Oh, really? What kind of, where do you find that? Where did you find those groups? Where was this shit going down? I mean, like, so if other people are interested in it, how do you find a non-monogamy community?

Like, is there a Facebook group out there? Facebook, yeah. Really? So, those Facebook pages and groups literally just searched, you know, city name and polyamory or non-monogamy, and there will be stuff that pops up in any city. Oh, okay. Interesting. Okay, so you got involved in that whole community and then just, like, excelled to the top of it and started putting together the events. Yeah.

When I get interested in something, I tend to read a lot about it and just research it. Yeah, that's great. It came really naturally that once I was going to these meetups, I just would talk a lot and interact and answer questions. And then eventually the people who were leading it were like, do you want to be one of the facilitators? And so that's how I ended up in that position. Yeah, that's awesome. So now you're in this world. You're a part of that group.

You're heading out. And then when did you start having your next release? When was your next relationship or relationships? So that's been in the last like four years. I have had multiple, yeah, I mean, of course, you know, it's multiple relationships overlapping because it's non-nomogamy. So I was dating one person in the, like, Kink and BDSM scene because I also interact in that community.

And I, so he and I, seeing each other the most, but he was also seeing another woman, and then I started seeing another woman, and then another guy, and then that first male relationship ended, and then through the pandemic, I was mostly dating one man because of pandemic. Yeah. So it's forced monogamy in a way because it was just for safety's sake, we were not seeing other people. Yeah. But when we were, prior to the pandemic, when we were seeing each other, there was, he was seeing one woman on his own a couple times. And he had asked if it like, she was okay

with him taking pictures of like her going down on him or whatever so that he could show me. So I was getting some of that there because I'm okay with not hearing anything about it. But if I get to, I'm excited. Right. So you asked. You'll be like trying to take some pictures. She was down with it. Mm-hmm.

Exactly. Like if this person is like up for it, then like, yeah, please get pictures because I'd love to see whatever whatever they're okay with me seeing. I do remember you saying something about like being degraded, but I don't know if you mean that in the sense of like being left out. Like because you had that first experience where that girl was like, no, you can't get involved and you knew that you were into that. Like how did you take that further into your release? So yes, I have taken that a bit further too. So some of that has been through just fantasy play, but so there was a period where myself and the person who was dating through the pandemic were seeing another friend of mine.

So we had a few group experiences with her and then some of the time it was more, I don't know, intimacy but not necessarily sex. And so afterwards, a couple of the times what we would. have seen her and had some intimacy and then come home and like he and I would have sex and he would talk to me about like how he wishes he was fucking her instead. Oh, while he was banging you. He's saying these kind of things. Yeah.

Oh, and that's a turn on to you. Yes. So especially through the pandemic, there was more of that type of degradation because of not really being able to physically interact with other people. Yeah, you mopped it up. It was like fantasy talk. Yeah. Uh-huh.

Yeah. So like, you know, like, shunning my face into a pillow and being like, you know, it's calling me someone else's name. Oh, okay. Because, you know, it was about like, no, like, I don't, I don't even want to be fucking you. I wish I was fucking this other person instead. And the degradation of that. Right.

And that's like getting you wet. Yes. Listen, like I said, I don't think you're the only person. out there. I think it's probably very common, but they don't. Yeah. The one place I'd found the most stuff was like Tumblr before when it was good. Right. Before they removed the adult content, Tumblr had the most cuck queen content that I have found. Right. Okay.

There was a couple of really good bloggers about it. You're the girl that heads up everything. Start a little, you know, start that, do that. Yeah. Get on it. Can I just say that the last name you used in your email? I mean, is this a fake name that you have, Mary, right? Like, this is a fake name, right? Mary, it kind of is, yes.

But what about that last name? Could I say your last name? I mean, it sounds like a major character. I love it. Oh, okay, it's Mary Sparkletits. I mean, Mary Sparkle Tits is just like bound for, you know, a future in porn. I mean, I love the name. Create some Cuck Queen porn, Mary Sparkle Tits, and use that name, you know.

Yes, I should. Yeah, is that your name? Do you use that in the community or is that just something you made up to email me? I mean, is it okay that we said the name? Yes, I use it in community. So, and yes, it's fine that we use it. Right. And publish it, that's fine.

Yeah, so I've used it in, so I did have like an only fan for a while but don't have that currently. So that was the name I operated under on OnlyFans. Oh, and what do you do on your OnlyFans? It was mostly solo play on my OnlyFans. Uh-huh. But, yeah, I took down that account like almost a year ago now. I just was tired and didn't want to keep it up. Yeah.

So you got to do it. Listen, that's what I get. So, you know, when people make fun of people and OnlyFans that are making a lot of money, and, like, remember when OnlyFans, the rug was pulled from under them? And people were making all kinds of jokes about, like, oh, those girls now could go back to working at Burger King and shit. And I'm just like, I'm sorry, but, like, it's a lot of work making conscious. intend for stuff. I mean, anybody on there that's pulling a lot of money, it's a full time job.

People don't really understand. It's the same kind of stuff that I do for my podcast, you know, with my podcasting and my YouTube channel and my Patreon. It's the same kind of thing. So I know. And it's not like bullshit. It's a hard work. Yeah, it looks like an hour of work, but it was probably for to get that hour that you're seeing. And then you're talking to your fans and you're uploading and downloading. I mean, it's just there's a lot to it. It's not, you know, an easy kind of a thing. I just was like it was just pissed me off that people were just making such, you know, jokes about people that produce content like that. And no one feels sexy every single day. Exactly. No one feels sexy every single day. Right. So it's like how do you push through that on

those days that you're just not feeling it? That's a challenge unto itself. Right. That's why you don't do it so you got to give people props that are doing it and are at the top of their game. They're not girls that are going to like go work at Burger King. You know what I mean? Not to say there's anything you want with that. We all start somewhere. But those girls are fucking entrepreneurs working their asses off. And they have,

you have to have really good work ethics to create that into, you know, to turn that into a business. So anyway, so you had an only fans, but back to you. So now does Polly Amory, like you use the word anarchy?

Is that what you said as far as like your relationships and what you like to have? Yeah. So relationship, anarchy. Yeah. Is another term within the non-monogynogyn. me sphere that refers to basically just someone who likes to relate to individuals separately and

but kind of treats themselves as their own primary partner like I'm not deciding when I meet someone I need a boyfriend who you know fulfills these things for me that's not how I'm going about dating I go about meeting humans with intent to like see how they fit into how we fit into each other's lives. Uh-huh. And it's just fluid like that. So it could mean that it, and it accepts fluctuations a lot more than some other relationship types in general,

whether polyamorous or monogamous, but I like that it accepts fluctuations a lot. So the person that I was seeing that had, that was, I was playing a lot with that, like, um, fantasy degradation. he and I stopped dating in March, but I would still say he's one of my best friends. Uh-huh. Because it just didn't continue to make sense for us to be dating for a variety of reasons. He was just not able to be present in the relationship because of school and stuff.

Uh-huh. So we just went, well, if that's not working, but we still like each other. We don't need to stop being in each other's lives, but we just, you know, redirect what our relationship looks like. But let me ask you this, because I'm friends with every ex and. I would always be able to get to that point that you're talking about. But I couldn't say that there wasn't a time between, you know, the ending of one thing and the beginning of keeping that relationship going in another form where I did have

to detach because of the emotional feelings and needed to take a little time for that. Yeah. I wanted to know in your world, because I don't know, is it different where you don't even need that time? Like you just transition out of it? No, I would say that's true. still, no, emotions are still there. I would say there's still like a necessity in most cases to tap some downtime of like separation to reconfigure how you, how you relate with them. Okay. Well,

maybe then I'm just like you. I wouldn't consider some polyamorous, but maybe I'm more fluid in that sense because I have. I do always pivot like that with most people in most relationships. You know, why not? Why would you? Yeah. Yeah. And I feel like so many people that, The idea of relationship length being the, the indicator of whether the relationship was, quote, successful doesn't resonate with me either. Me neither. I think I've had some really successful relationships that were three months. Because that's how long we made each other happy and we still like each other when we reconfigured what that looked like.

And you're still in the relationship with them. I mean, it's a different form, but you're still talking to them. Yeah. So I'm in multiple relationships right now under the umbrella of what relationship anarchy can be. So what my relationships look like right now are I have one person who is my full-time 24-7 like owner property relationship. So I have like an owner who controls if I'm allowed to orgasm or not in general any day

as well as, you know, there's certain things that I have to do for, like, the protocol between our dominant, submissive relationship. Oh, okay. So that's a BDSM's relationship you have. Is it with a man or a woman? Yes. That's with a man. Okay. So that's your, and that's your primary relationship, you would say?

Like, maybe. I wouldn't even, I don't know. Like, I wouldn't even call him a boyfriend. He's my owner, but he's not my boyfriend. He lives across the country. We have met each other in person, but not actually since we've had our dynamic. So all of our BDSM dynamic has been at a distance. Right.

And then I have, separate from that, I have someone at the opposite side of the country that is asexual, that I have a romantic relationship with, that I just see maybe once a year for as long as we can. And in between we talk maybe monthly, but they're still so important to me. They're definitely my partner, even though we don't, like, have sex. Uh-huh.

And they agree. This is all, like, this is all mutually agreed upon, right? And you meet them within this lifestyle? Yes, exactly. So that was actually a funny thing with the one who's asexual. We were talking about, they were telling me about their polycule, so their extended polyamorous family in the city that they're living in right now and how everyone's connected to different people and which who's dating who

and who is also dating with other person. So they were telling me about this interconnected network of their partners out there. Yeah. And I realized that I felt like not just. jealousy per se, but I felt sad that I wasn't included in it. And I was like, why do I feel like that? You know, we had never discussed being partners or anything. And I just was like, no, I feel like we are partners, but we've never talked about this. So they don't, like, there's no reason for them to include me in this. But like, I want to be a part of that. I feel like we're partners.

So I just said to them, they're non-binary. So that's why I'm using the them pronoun. Oh, okay. Right. they were telling me about their interconnected network. And so I messaged them and I said, hey, I know we've never talked about this, but I kind of feel like you're my partner because we have such a strong emotional connection. Like, is that reasonable? And they replied to me in a video crying, happy crying. Like, they were like, I've been having a really rough day.

and I have felt like you were my partner for so long, but we hadn't discussed it, so I didn't know how to bring that up. And like, absolutely, yes, I love you. Oh, wow. And so we just, like, had this really heartfelt conversation about how we did both consider each other partners, even though we have actively discussed it previously. And for somebody that's, like, asexual and is interested in that kind of a relationship, I mean, you were probably the perfect partner. they also have two partners in their city.

So they're not going without romantic connection. But yes, it can be a really good fit. Polyamory can be a really good fit for asexal people a lot of the time because it means that they can build these really strong emotional connections and not feel like they're starving their partner of a part of their romantic connections they want or need. So, you know, knowing that I'm not, I can't give you the sex, but someone else can

can actually take a lot of pressure off. Yes, yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, so that's that connection out there. And then locally, I have my kind of like queer BDSM family of people that are just so important to me that, you know, there was never a need to call anyone a partner necessarily, but we have intimacy in whatever way, whether it's cuddles, whether it's going for dates, whether it's, you know, beating each other's asses with pedals or whatever.

But not with any technical terms around what that is or any specific expectations of this is the amount of time you spend with a partner. So therefore, if we are partners, we must spend this much time in a week together. But you did say, I'm sorry, but you did say you have this one Dom who tells you when the fuck you could do, orgasm, when you can have sex. I mean, so you do have that kind of boundaries put on you right now, correct? Yeah, so he doesn't choose when or if I have sex, only if I can orgasm. So I can have sex all I want. Right.

I just can't necessarily come. But as a sub, you must be into the T's in denial then, right? There is an aspect of that being a turn on, correct? Absolutely. Yeah. I enjoy that control being taken from me. enjoy being told I'm not allowed to come. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right.

Yeah, even for extended periods. So, yeah, like, orgasm denial is one of the things that I would say is one of my kinks. So, yeah, the longest he didn't allow me to come for was, I think, four weeks. Uh-huh. And, yeah, it was like I had to edge, so, like, masturbate, but not come every day for four weeks. And so what was that first, that orgasm like after? Probably like the best orgasm you ever had in your life. Like that's like the buildup, right?

That kind of foreplay, I'm assuming is like amazing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like extended, extended foreplay. Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah.

Yeah. Which is part of the fun too, right? Yes, for sure. Like I have to, like, you're focusing a lot on the intimacy thing. But there's like, this is all, these are also like highly sexualized relationships too. Like at least with the BDS. them one, right? So a lot of what those things he's putting on you are not necessarily like emotional boundaries. There are sexual ones that work within your sub-dom thing, right? It's a part of it. It's a part

of your king. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That is negotiated and agreed upon. So like I, because in that situation, even I was the one who said like, I'm into like orgasm denial, so I want that to be a part of our dynamic. Yeah, yeah. And then he just gets to choose like what that kind of looks like. But, yeah, with fully all of us aware of where we stand with it and what we get out of it. I, again, had another similar situation where I was cuddling between two of my local, like, friends who are in this, like, BDSM queer community. And I just, like, we're at this party and we're all cuddling. And I'm like, is it weird that I feel like I'm in your polycule? Like, I'm in a relationship with you two.

and they both looked at me and they were like, no, that's not weird. You're definitely in our relationship. I was like, okay, cool. And it's so funny, because, like, we haven't had sex with each other, but we have, like, so much emotional intimacy and we've had BDSM play

that's sexual in nature in its own ways. But when you say you've had, like, not sad sex, but kind of have, like, what does that mean? What do you mean by that? Well, so, for example, I had one BBSM scene with my previous partner and one of these women, and they both, like, beat my ass, like, I was being kicked in the ass, all kinds of things. As well as I did, like, have, like, I went down on the man that I was dating, and also, like, my other friend gave me one of her dildos to, like, ride.

So it was a very sexual experience. Right. But without necessarily having direct sexual relations with her. So I have all those relationships kind of going on. And now I'm newly seeing a man who is married and has another girlfriend as well. And his wife also has another woman partner. Oh, okay. So his girl is in the know. She's in the know. Uh-huh. Yeah. We're all in the know.

Right. So I've had conversations with both his wife and her other partner. I haven't talked to the other girlfriend of his, but she's aware of me and I'm aware of her. And that has been a very sexual relationship for the last little while. like a part of that for me still is like oh like can you come over right after you've had sex with someone else because that's really hot like yeah no don't you don't have to shower before coming over because like I want you to smell like another woman right because that's hot um so that's another way that like that cucking part is coming out I feel like because that's not necessarily

the polyamory like lots of people are polyamorous who are like yeah the second you get in that door you're going to shower before you touch me yeah totally That's not, that's the cock queen of you. Like, it's fine that you're doing that, but like, I don't need to interact with that. But for me, that's hot. Like, they're on vacation right now. And I'm, you know, as much as I miss him, I'm also like, yeah, it's really hot that you're having this, like, one-on-one time with her. And I don't get to be a part of it.

Right. But hopefully, I mean, for you, a lot of times you'll ask for pictures or stuff like that. I mean, you could, or details help. Oh, yeah. Right? Yes, absolutely. Even, yeah, yeah, just any layer of the, like, I know I'm focusing on intimacy rather than necessarily sex, but even the intimacy is such a turn on for me that like just seeing, you know, my partner and someone else kissing is such a turn on for me. Like, oh, that's really hot. Right.

where like I don't even necessarily need to see like them having sex or something but like seeing them together is enough that like that's the turn on. Now I've heard from a lot of guys who are into being cucks. They were able to tie it back and I don't know that it's necessarily connected or you know how it starts or whether you're born with it or not. But there have been a couple cucks that remember specifically them being cheated on or they were dumped and then their partner at a very young age was with somebody else and realizing they were like oddly like very devastated by it but also at the same time turned on and that was very confusing because this like I said happened when they were like super young do remember anything like that going on for you when you were really young not not really

I definitely was cheated on in my earlier relationship, and that was the one that I started realizing that I liked seeing him flirt with someone else. But I wouldn't say that that spurred it unto itself, but that being said, it definitely, so in terms of how it feels on the kind of inside in those situations, it's almost like, jealousy converted into turn-on,

like, or like competitive urge even in some situation where, like, and those things combine into, yeah, like, just arousal. So knowing that you were fucking someone else, it's like, okay, well, now I really have to impress you because, like, you were with someone else and now I need to, like, show you how good I am. Right. And the fun of that is one aspect. And then what about you said turning the jealousy into the turn-on?

Like you mentioned that. Like you said, that's how it kind of feels. Like, can you explain that further? Because I think a lot of people are really jealous. We all have that. Like, how do you turn that into something that is a turn-on? Or is that just something that happens if you have this kind of kink? I don't know.

I mean, I don't have the full answer to that in terms of like, could anyone turn jealousy into, like, in pleasure? I don't know if anyone could do that. Yeah. But in terms of, like, kind of how I'm able to reframe it is, a part of that is understanding that, like, they're here with me because they want to be. Yeah. And to even be comfortable with the degradation and being told, you know, I wish it was. someone else. Part of why that's even okay is because as much as I'm hearing that, I know that this person's here with me because they want to be here with me. Right. And there has to be like

that intrinsic deeper knowing to have the comfort to have those experiences also. So it's a part of that is reminding yourself that yes, I'm feeling jealous, but I know this person really does care about me. And like having ways that you can remind yourself that that person really does care about you can help convert that jealousy in a way. But converting it into turn on, yeah, I mean, it's, for me, a part of that is the competitiveness or just, I don't know. So especially if it's two people that I'm attracted to, whether I'm seeing both of them or not, it's like, it's like real life porn. It's like seeing, okay, well, I find this person really hot to the point where like I feel really strong feelings for them. And so seeing them have this sexual pleasure and enjoyment with

another person who's also really hot, I'm like, that's just really hot. And there's the added feeling of the emotional connection to add to that arousal. Because for me, I don't enjoy watching very much porn because I'm like, I don't know. I don't know them. They're just humans. Yes, they're like hot, but I just don't get that much out of it. Yeah. So for me, I enjoy that in person so much more because I get to have the added emotional connection. Right. So that added emotional connection adds to the sexual arousal because I find it very hard actually to be aroused with something by someone who I don't have an emotional connection with. So it's just another layer to being turned on by the emotional connection

and how that feeds into my sexuality. And now, so a lot of people would be like, oh, you can't be in love, quote unquote, with more than one person. Do you feel like you have been in love or are in love with all these people in your life? And is it romantic love? Like, have you been in romantic love with more than one person? I mean, because I've always like, oh, Polly Amory, like, how would you really fall hard and fat,

you know, with the same way with one person with somebody else? I mean, do you feel like you have that right now in your life or have had that? I would say I have had that and do have that. Right. But not in the, it's not the same. Right. But it's not supposed to be the same. Right.

I think a lot of people treat their monochical. with relationships like, well, if it's, like, the love has to feel better than the last love I felt or else it's not real enough because it's going to end. Right. Whereas in this situation, it's like, no, it's just I can feel that, you know, there's that new relationship energy of this new person is so exciting and I just like want them to, like, all of the time. I want them in me, on me, all of the time.

And there's that excitement. and you can have that passion for one person and you can have that passion for more than one person at a time but also that's not natural to have that constantly all of the time with one person forever right no one does you're going to have ebbs and flows in relationships so it's not it's it's it's understanding that your expectation needs to include that so can i can i and do i have romantic love for more than one of these people. Yeah, I absolutely love each one of these people, but is it the same? No, it's definitely not the same, but it doesn't need to be. Right. Yeah, no, I get it. You're so smart. I, you're just, you're good explainer. Like I said, you're very, you know, I think this, and I always

give props to the younger generation. It's very different. You know, you live in a different world and you're, you should feel very lucky that you were born now or not when I was born, because you'd be so fucking confused. It's like, you know, you're very, you know, it's everything. Oh, God, yeah. I'm so glad that there's the resources that there are now. Like, even podcasts like this. Yeah.

You're able to just hear other people who can have had different experiences. Yeah. And then you know you're not alone. And then you know you can put a label. I think a lot of older people are very, like, anti all these labels and all the stuff that all the young people are doing. But I think it's, it's really great because it is starting to clear up, like, all the different things.

that exist. Like I said, I've had a lot of these kind of relationships in my life, but like when I was younger, because there weren't labels and because nobody did anything out of the box and nobody thought they were allowed to, you know, there was no room for it. And like I said, no labels, no room for it, no acceptance of it. And so there was just a lot of confusion and a lot of people, like I said, they were labeled dysfunctional or not real, but they were valid. I think, you know, they were always valid to me and amazing experiences in my life that taught me things and grew, you know, but yet, because they weren't boyfriends or husbands, you know, I think people, and even me, because of the time that I grew up didn't, wasn't able to fully say like, oh, that was a relationship. That was great. You know, it was like labeled, oh, dysfunctional. Not validating it. Yeah, yeah. And you live in a time where you can. And I think that that's why these labels and all these things that you, young people are doing is so good. Because I think it's more natural. I'm sorry to say, listen, I think that there are people out there that are just very monies.

By nature, that's how they're born, but then there's people that aren't. You know, everybody's different and I think though if you are somebody like you and there's probably, I mean, you're in that world, you I'm sure know tons of people like, you know, it's great that you guys can get everything out of your relationship. Find each other. And get everything out of it and look at it as a positive thing. You know, not so much negative and just be who you are and be happy. I think it's really good. You are. You are going. going to send me pictures, right? I'm sure. Mary Sparkled Tits. Yes, I definitely can send you some pictures. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, what would you rate yourself on a one to ten? People always, I used to always ask, now that I do, you know, anonymous picks on my Patreon, I show people, but what would you say you are a one to ten? Uh, like, so I'm going to give you a little bit of an opinion and then I will, like, and then I'll get back to your actual question. Yeah. So first of all, I really hate

societal beauty expectations. And I think that people, like so many different people can be beautiful in so many ways if we just open our mind to understanding that people are different and that is beautiful. But so I hate the grading scale for that reason

because it always breaks down to what society expects. Right. And listen, society is ridiculous what they used to pretend that everyone liked because I knew fucking guys and I know girls and like everyone's into all different kinds of things. Oh, yeah. So I always feel like, you know, your number is like how you feel and what you see yourself as.

And I think that's always and that's what's hot, right? Like what do you? So maybe the question for you should be like, what do you feel? Yeah. On a scale of one to ten is hotness. Yeah. Okay. That's bad question too?

I'll give you two answers. Oh, no. I will give you, based on sustainability. Society's expectations. Yeah, sure. I would say I'm probably like, like nine-ish. Okay. I don't know.

I'm fit. I'm, I don't know, a fairly petite person. I have, hmm? Yeah, go on. No, I didn't say anything. Yeah, I don't know. I have like that like hourglass figure. So it fits what society we want for women.

Yeah. And then for like how I feel. I feel it, like, I feel like I'm normal. Yeah. In a good way. Yeah. Like, I just don't put myself on any kind of pedestal of like, I am better looking than someone else.

It's just not how I view myself. So if I was going to say myself, I'd be like seven. But not in a, that I don't think I'm attractive way, just in that, I'm normal. I'm just a person just like, I'm even out. Right, right. Like you are you. And for you, that's just how you feel. I get it.

I get it. I'm like, you know, old. So I still live in that world. I ask these dumb questions. you know, but I love that you... No, no, I'm not even trying to take away from your question. No, I love what you do. It's a very question for me personally.

No, but I love your different take on everything because I, like I said before, it's fresh. I think it's smart and it's better the way you look at things and the way that you feel. And I think that that's great. Listen, I think that society has already changed. Like, look at what is on the cover of magazines and stuff. You know, I agree. Oh, yes, it's definitely getting better. Definitely getting more accepting.

Yeah, that people could like look and see themselves all over, all kinds of people. And I think that that's great. It's so much different. I love your voice. I think it's great that, you know, you are that way and there other people are. I feel like you could probably have gotten even like 10 times more specific on this show. Maybe people are going to get mad at me because I had so many questions for you. I'm going to edit it out.

Very good. So it sounds really good. Yeah. I feel, yeah, I definitely think that it's one of those, how much time do we have? Because I can go, I can go into a lot of detail or. No, we get into a part two. We're going to do a Mary Sparkletit's Part 2 where now we've got the backstory. This is your backstory.

This is all the stuff. And then maybe one day we'll do, we'll do a part two, Mary Sparkletts. And we'll do like, you know, I don't know, like, you know, real specific stuff that people would love to hear because I'm sure you have so much of it. but I think the overview is really great. Yeah, I feel like we needed this to get for the starting place. And then, yes, if you'd like to have me on again, I would be happy to go into a little more detail of some specifics. Yeah, let's do it.

So I think it was really great what you had to say. I still love your name. So I'm going to say one last time, Mary Sparkletits. Thank you so much for calling. Thank you. So the funny, I'll give you a really short why my, why Sparkle Tits. Yeah. So by profession, I do nails.

Yeah. And I end up with glitter all over me all the time. So it was just, it's really that simple that I just have glittery kits a lot of the time. Oh, my God. Hilarious. So it's from the nail salon gets on your tits. And then you're just like, oh, here I am. Mary Sparkle Tits.

I love it. It really is like a great porn name. And it was a good name for Only Fans, right? Was that your only fan's name? Mm-hmm. Yes. Yeah. Well, and then you should eventually get into making that porn for people, but you don't have to, you know, I don't know.

I just think that you belong in that world. It's great. I also like to write erotica, so. Oh, you do? Some of that, too. Yeah, it's so up your alley. And do you, do you want to give a shout out to anything? Like, is there anything that you want to give a shout out?

Do you have erotica that you sell that you want to talk up, like that you want me to put a link to or anything? No, not at this point. Maybe one day. Okay. Well, when you do, you'll come back on and I'll promote the shit out of it. But thank you so much for calling in. and we're definitely doing a Mary Sparkle Tits part two.

Okay, so I'm going to send you the link and you can sign up for that. Perfect. Yes, I will. All right. Thank you so much for calling in. Bye. Okay. Take care.

Bye. Hey, everyone. Thanks so much for tuning in to this week's episode. If you want to follow the show, follow me at Strict Anonymous on Instagram or Twitter. That's at Strict Anonymous. If you are on YouTube, make sure to subscribe. I love YouTube as a platform for my show because people comment there. I try to reply back to every single person who post a comment.

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The link is also in the description below. Thanks so much for listening. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available not only in paperback and e-book, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show.

Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang being girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person. and they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person and I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't

really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. 17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format, and finally, the audio book is available coming out August 25th, but you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint, okay? There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me. Okay, I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other, and that's what you get to do There you could post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of

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