Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 461 - Fetish Fridays: Dale is a Voyeur

Episode Date: March 11, 2022

Dale is a voyeur and he calls in to talk all about it. What happened when he was younger that triggered this fetish in him? Where did he go to watch people get it on when he was older? And, how did it become an issue for him? Tune in for all the details which include how his job as a security guard at a mall allowed him to watch people all the time, what kinds of things did he see when watching, the demographics of the couples he watched, how more people got it ion in parking lots in the daytime as opposed to nighttime and why, how he watched women in Vegas through binoculars at a hotel party, how he would see people in parks having sex in cars too while off duty, how his wife knew about it and helped him to try and kick the habit, how being molested when he was younger played into this becoming an issue for him, how he has kicked the habit of watching when the people don’t know, what he’s replaced it with and a whole lot more. **To see anonymous pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the strictly anonymous podcast. Strictly anonymous podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. The Craigslist is definitely like the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Santa Port or Thailand. You can't not do it.

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I don't really know yet, but if you want to call up, my confessions line, the number is 347-4-203579. That's 347-4-203579. You could call that 24-7. The number will also be in the description. of this episode. So today is Fetish Fridays, and I have on Dale. Dale is a voyeur. He's into voyeurism, but because he had a job as a security guard because of stuff that happened to him when he was younger, his fetish turned into a compulsion and had him doing stuff while he was a security guard that he did not want to do. He's very aware of the fact that, you know, watching couples have sex while he was working was not the right thing to do, but he couldn't stop. And it happened all the time. I mean, he was a security guard and he's here to say that he saw more people having sex in the daytime

than at night and we kind of break that down why that was the case he does you know give information on like what kind of people he saw what he saw when he would see it the most what was the demographics you know were people cheating was it younger people you know all that kind of stuff but we also do talk a lot about the fact that this was a compulsion he knew that it wasn't right to do you know i don't think i would want to talk to somebody who was you know spying on people having sex and thinking it was right because, you know, that's not consensual and that's not cool. But he knew that it wasn't. He knew that it was an issue.

He had been sexually molested when he was younger. He remembers it was by both a younger male teenager as well as a female teenager. I mean, so he got it, he got it a pretty hard core. And he knew that he had some issues because of that. He had been in other kinds of dangerous situations like joined a gang. He had, there was drug use in his past because of what went down. So we discuss all that. And so that's what makes a story interesting.

There's different layers to it. So I'm going to be right back on with Dale. Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast. How are you this morning? I'm doing good. I'm nervous, but I'm doing good. How are you doing? I'm doing good.

A lot of people say they're nervous. And then afterwards, at the end of this conversation, you're going to be like, oh, I was nervous for like two minutes and then I wasn't because you're very easy to talk to. So, and I'm going to ask all the questions. So really the only thing you have to do is, is be honest. And that's really easy unless you're a total fucking liar. You know what I'm saying? That's, you know, I don't, most people, I would say 90%, 95% of the people like,

when my show are telling the truth. But that other 5% when I start backing them into corners with my really specific questions, it's just so obvious that they're lying because then they find it really hard, you know? As long as you're telling the truth, it's easy. So listen, your deal is this. And sometimes I get a little nervous when I'm talking to somebody that does something like you because I'm worried that like, you know, it sort of teeters on, is this legal, is it not legal? Is it crossing a boundary? Is it not crossing a boundary? Because the short story is you're a security guarder. You were security for a certain amount of time. And while you were doing security, you watched a lot of people have SEX, correct? Yeah. Yeah. And that was the thing.

you know, part of me was always wondering like, you know, could I get in trouble because I'm on the job? And it's a compulsion, you know. I would like to start by saying that me and my wife were both my list of children that will play into the story. Oh, interesting. Did you see the episode I just posted last night? I posted a bonus episode. You should listen to it. It's fucking great.

The Sam was the one with his mom. Yeah. Yeah. It's a good one. You should listen to it if you and your riff because he did say that he was, he met with a woman who also had the same past as well. So, you know, you really should listen to that episode. I think stuff like that is super important to talk to, talk about, you know, and he came on and really was very honest about that situation that I think is more common. All right, so start

telling your story. Sorry, I cut you off. I believe watching people has sex brings me a lot of pleasure because when I was molested as a child, of course, the person started out with showing me porn videos. But when I was a preteen, what turned it into voyeurism, in my opinion, I lived in an apartment building that from the balcony of my apartment, I could see down into an apartment of another building. And one night, there was a woman, like, there was a guy sitting at his dining room table. It looked like he was finishing up some work. And a woman, I suppose, was his wife, was wearing a robe, and she went up behind him, and she put her arms around him and said, something, of course, I was too far to hear what she said, but then she went into the bedroom

where her bedroom curtains were open and took off her robe and she was completely naked. Oh my God. And she laid in the bed. So even though I was probably 11 at this time, I knew at that point pretty much what she had said. She was probably like, hurry up to and, you know, come into the room with me. Yeah. And so she's, so she's laying there completely naked. And I have to her. had a friend with me who was younger than I was. And, you know, in retrospect, I should have taken him home because he lived in the same

building. But I just wanted to see how much I was going to see. And then he did the whistle, you know. And we both ducked down. And then when I got brave enough to look up again, the curtains were closed. And so I was like, you know, man, that's as much as I'm going to, you know, see. but I became a security guard now there's two shopping centers that I'm going to prefer to. But let me ask you this, though, just hold on one second, because you did bring up that story.

And I, so I would assume that you related back to that time because you were maybe so turned on and brought to like a certain point. And then, you know, you couldn't see the rest of it, but maybe that was so supercharged for you that, you know, is that what you're thinking? Is that why you brought it up? Do you think it relates to what you did later on? Yeah, I think that's why I became a voyeur. Like, you know, I would like to put this out there. It's not like I want to be a voyeur. It's a compulsion.

Like, if I see something going on, I have to, you know, look. But I do get sexual gratification from it. Like I was explaining to my wife, if the pleasure you get from six to the ten, watching it is at least an eight for me. So it's really high up there. The two shopping centers I'm going to be preferring to, One is called the plaza, and the other one is called the Marketplace. And so the plaza is where I would go and pick up my patrol vehicle when I was a security guard.

It was a hire-up vehicle like a Ford van, and it had an underground parking area as well as an above-ground parking area. And so we'd have to check down there before we leave to go to where we were doing our actual security job. Yeah. And usually, you know, you'd go down there and there, and there'd go down there, and there. it would be all empty. But coming back, we'd have to check down there again after work. And, you know, that's when you'd usually find either somebody having sex or about to have sex and, you know, you'd have to leave them leave the property.

And that's the thing. It's awkward for me to have to confront these people. Yeah. What does your training tell you? But, like, so you get this job, right? And they must at some point have to tell you, like, this is what you do when you find people having sex because it's obviously, you know, something that happens a lot. Correct?

Yeah, you know, what's funny is there's actually no training for that at all. Oh, really? You just have to, yeah. So you have to just kind of play it by ear, which is bad for me because I'm going to try to sit there and watch as much as I can and then kick them off the property once they catch me. Oh, my God. That's what you wind up doing. Yeah.

But there was this one specific couple. See, at the marketplace, there was a few different spots. where everybody would go to have sex. And I worked during the day. So this isn't something that, you know, it was like, oh, it's nighttime. Of course somebody's going to go behind the building. This isn't brought daylight. Sometimes it's behind the building.

Sometimes it's like out in the main parking area. And so there was a grocery store there. And so I was driving around the back of the grocery store. And I saw a woman about to get into a back seat of. a car and then she saw me and got back into the front and then they drove off. Well, humans are funny because they fall into patterns and usually if they leave one spot, they go to another but in the same shopping center. So I went down to another part. A lot of people go to have sex and it's behind a craft store and they had these two big shipping containers back there and

people would park there. Now that doesn't make a car invisible. I don't know why people think I think it does. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In fact, what it would do is it would block their vision. So I parked my patrol vehicle and I was going to approach them and tell them, you know, sorry you can't do this here. But when I got closer, like they were already in the back seat, she was, you know, going down on them.

And I was standing on the side of the storage container right in their blind side. And I was like, you know what? I'm just going to let this go. Like, it's Friday. I'm off, you know, the next couple of days, I might as well just do. just enjoy the show. So I didn't know how far they were going to go, so I thought maybe

that was going to be it. But then she had stopped and they began to undress. So I kind of pulled back so that they could, you know, get on dress and get started. You know, I peaked around again and, you know, there they were, you know, totally naked now.

Why do they get totally naked in the shopping center? I'm not quite sure. Right. Right. You think they do it a little bit more quick, like just a quickie. You know, so I'm sitting there, I'm watching it and, you know, I'm telling myself, okay, you know, we should really, you know, stop it. We should really stop it. But I was like, I just can't. Like, this is like the closest up I've ever been on it at the shopping center.

So, you know, I just let the finish. Once they were finished, knocked down the window, hey, you go, you guys can't, you know, do that. Hey, you have to leave. And then, you know, I got in my patrol vehicle and left. But let me ask you this, when you went over to them to tell them to leave, are they still naked or did you wait until they had their clothes on? Oh, yeah, yeah. They were still naked because they were lying there when they were done. You know, he was still lying on top of her for a few minutes.

Right. Were they young people or like older? Because I always wonder, like, I think a lot of cheating sex happens in parking lots and then a lot of probably younger people who don't have any other place to go. Yeah, that couple specifically, they were really young. I would say they were probably like 20, 21. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I do see a lot of couples that it looks like they're cheating.

And, you know, I'll come up with stories in my mind. Like, that couple I figure were probably boyfriend and girlfriend. They probably weren't even, you know, married yet. Yeah. And they probably didn't have a lot of options. So, you know, that's where they went. You know, ran into a couple where this was an older, older guy. And a woman, she looked like she would be in her late 30s, early 40s,

early 40s, and the guy looked like he was in his, at least late 50s. And I caught them there a few times. And, you know, I don't think that people understand that having sex in public is illegal, even if you're in your own car. And so I would try to catch these people and get them off the property, because if the law enforcement catches them, they're going to get a ticket or, you know, something like that. Yeah. I'd rather them just get kicked off the property. property, you know. Yeah, then really bust it, especially if they're cheating. So there was a part of me.

I wanted to find another job because, again, this is a compulsion. It's not like I want to be, you know, seeing this stuff. I finally got another job. So me and my wife, we like to take walks. One of the bonding activities that we have, we walk for exercise. And so we go to this park. I remember your episode with Barry? Yeah.

Where, yeah, you know, I, you know, I, you know, I, you know, So I wish I could find his park where people turn on the dome light. And see? Yeah. Because where I live, you know, people get mad at you for trying to watch. And it's like, again, I'm not doing something to you by beeping at you. You're doing something to me by working on my compulsion of having to, you know, watching you. You know, it's like.

Well, that's the way you look at it. I think they might look at it a different way. You're looking at it like you're not in control of yourself. And that is. and they're doing that to you. But, you know, that's something we'll talk about later. Yeah, and of course, the way they see it is I'm just a pervert, you know. Yeah, peeping Tom.

A peeping Tom. Yeah, because they don't understand, you know, the compulsion. They don't know about that kind of thing, probably, you know. Mm-hmm. But like I was saying, me and my wife were both molestedness will play into this. Well, usually when people are molested, one out of two things happen, they either become very sexual or very non-sexual. Luckily for me, my wife is very non-sexual.

Why do you say luckily for you? I'm being sarcastic, like, you know, unfortunately. Oh, oh, yeah, yeah. That means I get very little and stuff like that, you know. Instead of like the girl that's really acting out sexually because of, yeah, okay. So everything that her sexual is, dirty and nasty. Yeah.

And so, like, one time we're walking in the park, and again, you know, this is during the daytime, I look off in the distance, and I see a woman writing a guy, Calgirls style. And so I stopped, I stopped walking. I'm like, hold on for a minute. Let me stretch my legs. And then she's like, is everything okay? I'm like, yeah, because I have trouble with my legs. So she's like, is everything okay?

I'm like, yeah, I'm like, just don't look over this way. If she looks, and she's like, oh, come on, let's go. Because she knows that I'm going to have the compulsion to stay there and watch them. Going around in that park, I mean, you know, even sometimes like if we don't walk, we'll go there just to hang out in our car and talk and stuff. And there was this one night we were parked and about two spaces over from us, this woman was giving her her guy head. And so my wife's talking to me and I'm like, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, and I'm watching them.

but my heart's going like a thousand miles an hour. And then the guy realizes that, you know, I'm seeing him. And, you know, he stops there and, you know, he gets angry and drives off. And it's like, you know, dude, I'm sorry, but I mean, you have no expectation of privacy in public and something called a public park for a reason, you know. Yeah. But did your wife? And now you've been honest, I'm assuming, with your wife because you said that she knows,

she was like, oh, God, you're looking. I mean, so she knows about this. in you? Oh yeah. As a matter of fact, like I would tell her about all the stuff that I see. One of the things that I talk about while we're having sex because, you know, it turns me on. And just like when I watch porn, she knows that I watch porn and that it's not for the women but for the sex acts. Right. Mm-hmm. There was this one time at the marketplace. I was driving around and I saw this car with a geising in the back seat. seat. And, you know, if a car is just parked and there's just one person sitting in the back seat,

it does look kind of hot now. That could be an employee on their brake or something like that, but usually when people do that, they sit in their front seat. And so I approached the vehicle, and a woman set up real fast, and, you know, you could tell that, you know, she was giving them a head. And I motioned for her to open the door because they had the window up and I, you know, wanted to tell them, you know, they had to leave. She opened the door and she was like, um you know oh oh we're leaving right now i say okay yeah you know sorry you can't do that here and she shook my hand she said okay we're leaving right now and then after i left i started thinking she had to have been holding him with that hand so then i used my hands on the tiger and i was

thinking of myself yeah next time don't get too close to somebody to the car yeah right that's so bad How many couples do you think you saw while you were a security guard? And how many years were you doing it? I was there for about five or six years. And I would have had to have seen hundreds in that amount of time. Was it like a weekly thing, a monthly thing, a daily thing? Definitely weekly. Like sometimes more than once a week.

But it was definitely weekly. And I was a supervisor there. and the guards that worked under me worked at night, I needed to trade a day shift or a night shift one time because I had something I needed to do. And so I worked actually with a friend of mine and, you know, I worked the overnight shift and nothing, nothing at all, not at night.

And I was driving around going, really? You guys can't come here at night? You have to do it in the day when I'm working. Yeah, that's so weird. You would think it's the opposite, right? Yeah. No action at night. all the actions during the day.

Yeah, I mean, it's crazy how, you know, because I would think, like, if you don't want to be seen, but you have to do it out in public, you'd want to be at a time where there would be less people around, which would be at night, and it would be darker, which would be at night. But for some reason, these people, because, see, there's a part of me that think there's a part of them

that wants to be seen, because it's like, not only you're doing it, you know, But I also think if you think about what we were talking about before as far as like, oh, because I'm like, you know, who are the people that go to a parking lot and fuck? I did it a lot in cars when I was really young and had boyfriends and there was no place for us to go because we live with our parents still. So that's one group of people that are going. I think the other big group of people that are going are people that are cheating. I mean, I can't tell you how many times people are talking to me and they tell me, you know, they're cheating on their spouse. and I'm always like, did you have sex in your car in the parking lot? I don't know. There's something about that that's so funny to me. But you hear it a lot. So I think that the people that are cheating, think about it,

they can't cheat on their partners at night. You know, at night your partner's going to be like, where the fuck are you? During the day, you know, you could get away with cheating more so because you could say you're at work. You could run and meet your lover at lunchtime. You could say you're going to get milk. And then you go to that, you go to, you know, your parking lot. and do it. So I think it's a lot easier to do that kind of stuff during the day. It's just that's the

time that they could do it. And it just happens to unfortunately be the time. And then maybe there's that group of people that like you said are there because there's something about being in the daytime, maybe being caught that's thrilling to them. Yeah. Time when me and my wife went to Las Vegas and we stood in this nice hotel that had a top optional pool. And so me and my wife, we're very different in this way. When we go somewhere, I want to spend more time in the hotel room because it costs so much money. And she wants to be out on the town, you know. Yeah, because you're visiting a different place.

Yeah. And so usually, you know, well, not usually. I always let her get her way. So we're always out of the hotel rooms, but we would come back to rest for a while. And so when we went to Vegas, that time we left right after I got off of work. So I had my stuff for work, which, you know, I use binoculars because that shopping center was a large shopping center. It was like about a mile long. I would have binoculars to help me see, you know, further, you know, into the parking lot.

But since I had it with me, I was sitting at the window looking down at the top optional pool, you know, in my binoculars, which my wife found very funny. She finds out very humor. She's like, you're so nasty. And I'm like, you know, people are. in there, you know, they're making out, they're, you know, playing around with you the other. Of course, that's something that I'm not going to be able to not to see, you know, not to watch, you know. Yeah, it's in your face and it is public. Yeah.

And then you'd have your binoculars out watching them through the thing. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. But you say it's like a compulsion, correct? Is it something that does it bother you that it's a compulsion? Do you hate that feeling of, you know, not? being in control of yourself because there was something interesting that you said early on when you were talking about you know there you are in the parking lot watching somebody and you're like yeah and

then I was like you know we should tell them to stop we should not look and you're saying we instead of you know I which is which to me feels like you probably you see you know yourself and then this other part of you know that's the we correct like you see this as another part of yours and I totally get that because it is, right? And you could to stop the compulsion, you'd have to battle with that other person and really stop that other person from going down that path.

Yeah, exactly. And I do, I wish that I didn't have this. Like, when me and my wife are walking in the park, you know, I keep my head on a swivel. Have you ever heard that expression? No. Yeah. So what that means is I'm always watching my side. my back, I'm always looking around.

Yeah. You know, just to make sure that we're safe, you know, walking around. She always walks with her head down looking at the ground. I always tell her, you know, honey, you need to look around when you're walking because you never know who could be coming up behind you, who could be around you. And she said, well, that's why I got you for it. Yeah. And so while I'm walking around and I'm looking around and everything, I'm seeing all this

stuff happening in cars and she just, you know, is paying no attention. I wish I could be like that and just like that pay no attention to it at all, you know? Right, because it feels like you're not even in control of that part of yourself, which you probably not, you know, when it's like you're the one that uses the word compulsion, and that's correct. And it is probably from what was put on you when you were younger. And the only way to stop that kind of compulsion would be to be like your girl and not give, you know, not swivel your head around at all times and maybe you try to stop looking to where

and stop going to that which makes you turned on, which is watching other people. If it bothers you. Now, I mean, you could always, like, do you mock up those kind of scenarios with your wife? I mean, you said you do talk about it, correct, when you guys are fooling around and she allows you to have those fantasies and everything? Yeah, like, we don't act it out or anything. but, you know, I just, you know, tell her about it while I'm doing it and, you know, she could see how it arouses me and, you know, makes me come faster and stuff like that.

Right. Mm-hmm. What do you do now? And when was the last time you were able to see a couple? Is it just at that park that you go to with your wife now? Yeah, pretty much. That's not as often as the shopping center was. Maybe once or twice a month, you would end up seeing something at the point.

park where it was you know weekly at the shopping center yeah and um i'm still in security now but i work for a different security company yeah and i work for you know because i was in a different valley than the one i live in so where i live now you know i work where i live now so you know it's not at a mall yeah yeah it's in a place where like a kind of like a factory in a way so like you know there's no nothing to see there as far as that so that makes me happy. Yeah, I was going to ask, do you feel that your compulsion is less when you're not feeding it and you're not getting your fix every weekend like that?

Do you feel like it was worse because you were a security guard and you got to see it all the time? Yeah, I think so because even like I would tell myself, okay, you know, if you see something, make the contact, make them leave and then, you know, go behind the building and, you know, watch a little bit of porn like self-medicating in a way. Yeah. But, you know, it's like watching porn isn't the same thing as seeing it live. And, you know, so it didn't really help too much.

Right. What would you do if, so the alternative to leaving and going and watching porn was that what you would normally do, which was stay and watch. And that's the part of, that's what you didn't want to do, correct? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because, like, one thing I would do is I would pull up to where they would be in my rearview mirror and watch them for my rearview mirror. Mm-hmm.

Be working on my paperwork because, you know, like I said, it would be awkward to confront them, you know, a lot of the time. Yeah, I can imagine. Yeah. Yeah. And so if you're putting pen to paper as a security guard, everybody thinks you're writing about them. So that gets people to stop and leave right away. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you just, like, look down and start writing?

Yeah. You know, then I'll look up at the rearview mirror and, you know, she was going on and then, you know, continue, you know, to do my report. But there was this one couple. I found this kind of funny. I pulled up and I was looking at them in my rearview mirror. And so they saw me because of my overhead lights, the amber lights on the vehicle, begin to reach into the front seat to grab their clothes and get changes in the back seat and then, you know, jump into the front seat and take off. I found that kind of funny that they're, you know, reaching.

over to grab their clothes because they had seen me. Right. Yeah. Let me ask you this. Have you ever been in any kind of therapy? Because, I mean, you do know that you had this stuff happened to you when you're younger. You do have this compulsion. Have you ever had a therapist or talked to anyone about it?

No. Closest that I've ever come was talking to my wife about it. She had therapy. The closest that I've ever come is talking to my wife about it. in the beginning, I was very ashamed of it and everything. Yeah. As I've gotten older and gotten wiser, it's like, you know, I didn't do that, you know. I didn't molest myself.

Yeah. You know, it was something that somebody did to me. And so, like, I'm very open to talk about it. Now, as a matter of fact, if you would allow me, I would like to call back another time and maybe talk about that specifically and the effects. because I think that there's people out there who don't realize the effects that being molester has on people, you know. Yeah, no, that's why, listen, when I spoke to Sam and he emailed me, I love conversations like that, because I think they're important to have.

And we talked a lot about the things before his memories came back to him that were going on with him, how he was acting out and the issues he had in his life and how it all made sense when he found out and figured out what happened to him when he was younger. And I think it is important to talk about that. And even like with his substance abuse, because what a lot of, even people who are victims or, you know, as I like to call them survivors, what they don't realize is they put themselves in danger situations

throughout their lives because of what happened. Whether they realize that or not like my wife got in drugs when she was younger. Yeah. I got into drugs. I joined the gang when my teenage years, and it's like you really put yourself out in danger situations. And, you know, I don't know why it is, but that's something that me and my wife both talk about that. We have in common because of, you know, what happened to us as children. See, I'll give an example.

See, I was molested by an older teenage male. And at a different time, but in the same apartment building, an older female teenager. And so... Both? And the older female teenager did something to you as well? Yeah. Okay. And so, um...

So therefore, like, sex, to me is sex. Whether it's male on male, female and female, male, male, I enjoy watching it all. So when I watch porn, you know, one of my favorite thing to watch are bisexual forcums because you see everybody doing everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, see, that played into my voyeurism. at that shopping center because I caught women and women. I caught men and men.

I caught, you know, men and female. And it's not like none of it was disgusting to me. It was all hot. It was all sex. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was all that dirty, kinky stuff that you got wired to be like really into. And listen, some people that aren't, you know, didn't have abuse happen to them would be wired to find all that visually stimulating, too.

But the problem comes in with you where it becomes, like you said, the word you say, which is a. compulsion. But I think it's really great that you are in touch with it, that you see it, that you talk openly about it with your wife, you know, and that you've been able to be honest and that you have those memories. Sometimes we're all Delta deck a card, what a hand of cards, you know, we're delta. Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, it could take many years of therapy to unravel things that were done to you. And life is short, you know.

So I, but I do think that you have really, by being in touch with it, by being very self-aware of these things, by being very honest about what happened to you as well as what, how it's playing out and your compulsion, I think that that's really helpful to you. I think some therapy would help even more if you wanted to get. get rid of that compulsion. But I mean, unfortunately, you know, I couldn't afford. Isn't it terrible? Isn't it terrible that, you know, our insurance is so bad at covering stuff like that?

And it's just, it doesn't make any sense whatsoever that therapy is not, is not, you know, covered by insurance completely. Like, they make it so expensive. I think that's kind of changing since COVID. I do have better help as like a sponsor. I think they're only like $60 a session. But I think that that needs to change because, you know, good therapy and the right therapist at the right time of your life could really change your life and really does help.

And people, most people need therapy at some point. Not forever, not for your whole life, but at some point, you know, most people could use someone to talk to or help them work through things. It's really sad that they make it so not available for most people because it's super, expensive, you know, and insurance companies don't create plans that cover it either. Like, you have to meet your deductible or you don't get any session. I mean, it's crazy. But I would love for you to come back on another time and talk about it. And then we'll get the rest of your story on another time and talk about it. I think that kind of stuff is important. I think you should really listen to the

episode that I put out, Sam, that one. I think you will find it interesting and relatable. And I like having those conversations as well. So we'll also have you back on for that. But Thanks for being so open and honest about this part of yourself because, you know, it's, there's probably other people out there that will be able to relate. Did you hear my other episode about the guy that was like a kind of a peeping? I think his name was Maria. He was. I think the only one I saw was Barry.

No, there's another one. He was more of a peeping, Tom. He would like to look up people's skirts and stuff. Oh, really? But it's, it's funny, but it's actually a good episode because he talked. a lot about, he was like you, like this is what he did, but he didn't really have control of it, but he did want control of it. You know, like I said, I'm always a little nervous to talk to people that have these kinds

of compulsions because if I'm going to be talking to someone, they think it's totally fine and right and whatever. I might have a problem with that because I don't think it's right to, you know, cross those boundaries and everything, you know, but I'm always talking to somebody that does realize that it's a problem and doesn't. like it, correct? And he was one of those as well. I think you'll really be able to relate to his

episode. I'll send you a link to it when we get off. It's a good one. It's about the compulsion and about the pull and the doing something and all that kind of stuff. But thanks so much for sharing your story. You know, I think people that fucking parking lots are going to think twice, or maybe they're going to go on purpose now because

they're going to know that somebody like you is watching them and that's what they're into. Who knows? Yeah. And part of the reason why I mentioned that I'm no longer ashamed of the fact that I was a mother-suit and I speak openly about it. Yeah. It's because if there's anybody who's listening that, you know, they're a survivor and they have any shame from it, you know, I want them to realize that, you know, it's nothing that they did.

You can't, you know, do something as a child to make a teenager or an adult attracted to you. That's something that's on them totally, you know. Yeah. And, you know, I'm hoping that somebody listening will hear that and, you know, be able to take that in, you know. Yes, it's so important. And I think it's a lot more common than people think. I think I mentioned it on Sam's episode.

Like, I think they say like one in every four people have been molested. So the next time you're in a room with 20 people, there's a couple people in there that are just like you that have had those kinds of experience. And I think, unfortunately, a lot of people, there's repressed memories that go along with there. You're lucky that you do have a memory and you could say, okay, this is what actually happened and put it together. I think that there's a lot of people out there that, you know, the memories are either fuzzy or they're totally repressed and they've just acted out all their life and they don't.

They can't put that two and two together. And that's even harder. You know, that kind of shit just could really fuck somebody up. What I said on the episode, it sounds like, you know, you could do one or two things when that has happened to you. You could either go the exact opposite way and make sure that you never do that to somebody else or you could perpetuate that kind of bad behavior on somebody else yourself. And I think, you know, really being able to, you know, look at it and work through it and be honest about it helps you more so do the right thing. And I think it's great that you have the right grasp on it. But I think you should work a little bit on your compulsion and unwire yourself for that if you can.

Just do more fantasy stuff with your wife. And it's good that you don't have that job anymore because you don't have it. Yeah, right? I think that that's good. but so thanks so much for calling in. Okay, thank you for having me. Yeah, it's great. And we'll maybe do a part two for that other stuff.

Okay, sounds good. All right. What do we call you again? Dale, thanks, Dale. Thanks for calling in. Okay, bye. Hey, everyone. Thanks so much for tuning in to this week's episode.

Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers is now available not only in paperback and e-book, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out

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