Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 476 - Fetish Fridays: Alan Loves Panties and Being Pegged

Episode Date: April 22, 2022

Alan has a Panty Fetish and he loves being pegged and he called in to talk all about it. When did he first realize he had a Panty Fetish, what kind of panties does he prefer? And, where did he get his first pair? Tune in for all the details which include how he told his wife and how she felt about it, what he thinks is the difference between underwear and panties and which he prefers, how wearing panties brings out the submissive side of him and why that’s so appealing, when he got into anal, how he’s paid escorts and dominatrix to peg him, his erotic vs his sexual orientation, where he likes to buy his panties, the time he went shopping for them with a dominatrix and how the salesperson reacted, why he hasn’t told his current girlfriend about his Panty Fetish and when he does plan on telling her and a whole lot more. **To see anonymous pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Don't worry, the email to my show as well as the phone number are both in the description. Today I have on Alan. Now, Alan is into panties. And of course, we go back to talk about how it all started. You know, he talks about the difference between underwear versus panties and which one he's most attracted to. He talks about how submissive. He is when he is.

he wears panties and how he's an alpha in his regular life and that it like is a way to release his beta side. He's been to Dominatrix. He even had one where he took her. He paid her to go with him. I think it was to not to Victoria Secrets. He talks about why he doesn't like that place to buy panties. He prefers much more so to go to like a regular department store. And he gets very specific about why that's more of a turn on. And it's super interesting. And I'm sure, probably a lot of you guys would relate. It was opposite of what I thought, but I bet you, anyone with this fetish probably could relate to exactly what he was talking about.

He explains that. He talks about how, you know, with the escorts and dominatrix that he's hired, he's gotten into pegging and anal action. He did talk to his first wife about what he was into. He talks about how she reacted. He's also dating somebody now. He divorced his first wife, but he's dating so now, and he hasn't yet told her about the fact that he's into panties. He likes to wear them.

Okay, duh. But we discussed, you know, like when is the right time to do it, how he's going to do it, why he hasn't told her yet, when he plans on telling her, and all that kind of good stuff. So we get really into it. I'm sure you're going to be able to relate. So I'm going to be right back on with Alan. Hi, Alan. Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast. How are you today?

I'm doing great. How are you? I'm good. So, Alan, you have a panty fetish. Now, I just started a Fetish Friday series. So this is like perfect for that. I've talked to a lot of guys with a panty fetish before. You know, I've been doing my show for like eight years.

But I feel like I haven't talked to one in a really long time. So tell me your story. I mean, typically I believe that fetishes start like at very young age, you know, at a very young age. So do you remember when you first got into panties? Yes, I do. I was, so my parents got divorced when I was young, and so I think I was around 13 or 14 when doing the laundry in the house changed.

When I was younger, you know, if there was dirty clothes in the ready to go and I had laundry, I needed to switch from the washing machine to the dryer, I would just move it. And when I was that age, it was really my mom and myself. My older sister had already graduated and was at college. But then at some point, going through puberty, moving underwear around washing changed. And I saw my mom's underwear and something triggered inside of me. Clearly, I was going through puberty and hormones were getting gear, but just looking at them started turning me on. And I found myself playing with them. Right.

I mean, listen, I think it makes sense. A lot of my panty hose guys, I mean, the first pantyhose they got a hold of was their moms or their sisters. You know, it's kind of like that's the only thing available. You're super young. I mean, nowadays, I think, you know, with Amazon and stuff, you could just start ordering shit to your house without your parents knowing. but back in the day, you know, that was probably your only way to, and probably the first female panties you had ever, you know, laid your eyes on, like you said, there you were hitting puberty.

So that was like a trigger for you. And then I think what happens is that those, whatever it is that starts your first kind of trigger, right? Or that like you, you form that connection. And when you form that connection, it could really be super powerful. And you remember it, right? I mean, you could go back to that time and you see that first pair. So then did you just like start stealing them and that was like your thing that you jerked off to?

Because I think that's what happens is then you take it and run. And then if you're using it all the time to get off, that that's why it becomes this fetish and the need to have it always because you're used to getting turned on by that. Absolutely. So it was, I think of it as being seared in my brain now. So I would take the panties and jerk off with them and then put them back. Maybe if I was the only one at home, I would go into my mom's drawer and pull out a clean pair of panties and wear them around and then jerk off with them and then put them in the dirty camper. I mean, I did all kinds of things like that, but I just couldn't get enough of just the silkiness and wearing them. and the the naughtiness of it all, I guess, I don't know.

But let me ask you this. Because here you are, you're like a teenager at this point. Now, when you start fooling around with girls, do you then be, like, does it get triggered then too when you see them in panty house? Do you start stealing it from them? I mean, how does it transfer from like stealing your mom stuff to you getting older and realizing now, now this is something that you're wired for? you can't get enough.

So it triggered me a little bit, but there was something different. You know, all the girls in my age at the time, they didn't have thongs then, and they just wore like cotton panties. And those I equated to my sister, right? But my mom's panties were different, right? They were sexier looking because you said they were silky. Silky, and sometimes they were colored, like black or red. And it was just, it was something, because remember, they didn't.

didn't have the internet and I'm middle age and so playboy magazine was what I was looking at right so you know I equated the girls and playboy even though they were you know their 20s right I'm thinking they're much older I'm equating them to my my mom's age and and just all of that got separated right so women wore panties girls wore underwear yeah yeah I could yeah I could that's a good way of explaining I could see why you would have like you know compartmental mentalized it like that. So it really was. And so the girls when you were younger were still wearing the underwear. You know, when did it? So now, you're your middle age now. Let's jump to where you are right now and then just go back again. But are you married right now or have you been married?

I was married for a long time over 20 years, but I'm divorced right now. I've been divorced about five years. Okay. So now how does it, how does your panty fetish affect your love life? I mean, eventually you must hook up with women that are a little bit older, that are wearing those kinds of thongs that you saw when you were younger. And do you ever reveal to any women that you were with your panty fetish? I mean, because you're wearing them too, which is, I mean, I've talked to guys that have bra fetishes and, you know, panty fetishes. And sometimes people just like the look of them on a woman.

And then sometimes, you know, they like to wear them themselves, right? So those are two separate things you've got to load onto a girl, you know? So like when did you ever become honest with your fetish with anyone that you were with? I did. So first, when I was married, I suppressed it for a very long time. And then when I finally introduced it to my wife, she wasn't having it. She didn't do anything for her. She didn't like it.

And she bought me a pair of panties once just to try. But it just, it backfired. And so I just put that away. just never touched that again. So after divorce and I started dating, I got back into it. Like that old feeling, that old desire, it was still there. And I found myself going to the department stores and buying them and enjoying wearing them. And so when I started dating, most of the women I dated, I didn't tell just because face

on the nature of the relationship and especially having sex, they didn't want a guy like that. They wanted a guy to lead, to really take control and be the leader in the bedroom. And most of the women that I've dated in their 40s and even 50s and above, just they want that more than anything. I don't know why. I have ideas about it. So some of the younger girls I dated. in their 30s.

A couple ones who were kind of kinky and freaky, I introduced that to them, just sort of testing the waters. And if you got into it and would buy me panties and really enjoyed that, you know, painting play, so to speak. So do you feel that when, because I've heard this too,

and I've heard this from cross-chesters, you know that sometimes a guy, when he puts on any kind of female clothing, he does want to, besides the feel and the look of it, he does like the feeling like a girl. So you sort of switch into a submissive state of being. And I'm assuming that's what you're saying, that when you're wearing panties,

you want to take the female role? I mean, do you feel more feminine when you wear them? Is that a part of it? You know, I've thought about that a lot. And it's not that I have this sort of cross-dressing, want to be a woman type of thing. But the submissiveness of it is definitely something that that wearing the panties makes me feel.

Most of my professional life, I've been in leadership roles where I've managed people and I'm the one people go to to solve their problems. And so in dating some women where I can wear the panties, it has allowed me to be more submissive in the bedroom and let them take the lead. And that's a very freeing feeling because as a man, you tend to always have to be the one who's, you know, taking control. We're going to do this. And a lot of women just want to let go and have the man run, so speak. And when I'm wearing the panties and I have a girl or a woman who's into that and then she takes the lead and I can play somewhat of a submissive more I guess

feminine energetic role it's it's exciting it's really exciting yeah and I think you I've heard that many times before this is someone saying it's you know that alpha man who's in charge in his life that switches because it is a release all that pressure that you're that you know you have it's a heavy load that someone in that position has is all relinquished when you put on those panties. You know, when you hear it from people that are, you know, a lot of times when I've talked to guys into BDSM, it's why a lot of times they're into being submissive for that same reason.

I mean, it doesn't always happen that someone switches, you know, because then you would say that, hey, have you always, because if that's true and that's always the case, then all of the girls, the older women you've been with that they were always wanting to be submissive in the bedroom and they don't want you to wear the panties, you would think that most women then would want to be the opposite and would love you in the panties. because a lot of women are more submissive in regular life. And so, you know, they don't tend to switch as much. I would say as a beta female, I don't want to be, I mean, as an alpha, sorry, it's a total

fucking alpha. I want to be beta, you know, so I need my guy to be like a fucking man because I feel like a dude half the time. You know what I mean? I'm sometimes, you know? And that's what I was saying. A lot of the women I date are more, they may be alpha or they're just, you know, they have jobs.

they make decisions all day long. Oh, okay. So you do go for the alpha. See, you need the beta girl. Or no, no, no, no, no, no, the opposite. What I'm saying is that a lot of the alpha women with a lot of male energy or just have responsibilities. Yeah.

They're the ones who need me to be alpha. They're the ones who like, just I don't want to make any more decisions. Yeah. I turn my clothes off and do me, right? Yeah. So I play that role really well. I mean, I do that really well. But they're the ones who, like, if I introduce the panties,

forget it. They would be like what? Totally. Yeah. Yeah. Right. But some of the younger girls who I've dated in their early 30s who are a little bit more sexually open when I brought in the panties, they're all over that and they want to have a panty party and they want to play and they dig it big time. And it turns me on and I go for it. Yeah, there you go. That's the pond you have to fish at. of. At least you found what works and you know what doesn't, you know, because that's like half the battle. Because like you said, you were always dating these alpha females and that's not going to

work. They're going to switch out too. They're no different than you. Exactly. Exactly. Are you dating anyone now? What were you going to say? I am. No, I'm dating somebody now and I haven't introduced her to the panties yet. Oh, interesting. But she is definitely sexually more open. And one of the interesting things is she really enjoys some of the more risque male

underwear. Like you get, like a lot of gay men wear. So, I'll wear those for her. And she totally digs that. I don't know. We haven't been dating long enough for me to totally bring

out the panties. So I haven't done that yet. Right. Now, your wife, let's go back to her. I mean, you brought it up to her and you were like, listen, I really am, you know, I have this thing for panties and I like to wear them and she was like, what the fuck. How long into that relationship did you tell her? It was probably 10 years. Wow. You know, I played that husband, provider, father role really well. And we had a great sex life, but just she was the kind of person who wanted that more alpha man. And I just, you know, I would suppress it with her. If I had to travel for business, I literally would go to a

Walmart or someplace and buy panties. Yeah. And just play with them in the hotel room. And then I would just leave them and I would not bring him home. I didn't want any pants at home. And that's in a weird way that let me kind of exercise that kink with. out exposing her to it. Yeah, for sure. I was going to ask, like, I mean, how did you feed that part of you while you were with her if you were monogamous? I'm assuming you were monogamous, and this is how you would get yourself off? Yeah, I was monogamous. I never paid for anybody or had an affair or anything like that. Right. And she never found it because I would assume that you would be Googling too, this kind of stuff. I mean, she never found any kind of hints of this anywhere in the house or anything like that.

I mean, were you super naughty in that you had like a bag of panties hidden? I had one guy, I remember, who had a whole bag of panties. But I think it was like the panties of the girls that he fucked me on his wife back. And he had them all hidden like in his closet, which is her closet too, right? Because they live together. So I'm like, what are you doing with the panties in your closet? You know what I mean? Sometimes people are so dumb to where they hide their stuff.

I mean, did you have any kind of your paraphernalia at home, or did you strictly do it when you were, you know, traveling for work in those hotel rooms? So I would strictly do it when I was traveling because I didn't want anything like that, right? I had a daughter run around the house and my, I just didn't want to have that. Yeah, you're smart. A lot more trouble. But there were, you know, when I entered, what happened was I remember she had gone shopping. She brought home some panties. And I was like, oh, these are nice.

And I remember talking to her. and I was starting to be like, hey, you know, these feel good. I wouldn't mind something like this. And she's like, really? And, you know, that led to a conversation. And I kind of said, yeah, I kind of have a panty fetish. I've had it most of my life. And she was like, why did I know that?

And I'm like, well, it's not something you tell everybody. But so at first she was like, oh, that's kind of kinky weird. Okay. But the reality was she didn't like me in that way. She didn't want to see me in that way. It messed with whatever alpha-ish type of idea she had about me. Yeah. She just couldn't go with it.

It just, it created an issue. And so I said, okay, we'll never talk about this again. And that's it. I just put it away. Yeah, that's the sad thing about that story is that's a lot of guys fear. That's a lot of the reason. There's a lot of guys who call into my show that are around our age who have, you know, a secret life. And it's because, you know, that's what they're most afraid of.

They really truly believe that their girl, their partner, their woman, would never be able to accept them in a more feminine way. You know, this is what I hear from a lot of people like you. And I totally get that. It's valid. I think it's like, listen, it's, you could ever read someone's, someone else's mind. I mean, you're with your wife. It turned out when you did reveal, she was like, no fucking way. I've heard the opposite story too.

So I feel like it's always like a flip of a coin. You never know unless you actually try. But like I said, it is a lot of, what happened to you is a lot of people's fear. Do you feel that it ruined your sex life? Or were you able to get back to things and just, you know, sort of bury that underneath the, the whatever rug? So the latter, I could bury the panties under the rug. There were a few other for a key thing. But was she, though?

No, I think that was a low-level thing. She just couldn't let go. And I also wanted, I also had more of a desire to do some backdoor play. And she wasn't, yeah, anal play. She wasn't into that whatsoever. Okay, so what did you, like, as far as like, anal action, like, do you, like, do you, wanted to like fuck her in the ass or you're like let's let's try this or you want to go down on her and like you know that kind of thing like no the opposite the oh oh I see where you're duh yeah I don't

yeah you wanted her to play with you that's another yeah that's a heart that's a lot of guys that call in too that have that desire that a lot of times it's a problem because a woman you know the she starts to question like does this mean you're gay does it you know which is kind of dumb if you really think about it because you know you're going to go down on your wife. That's what a lesbian does to another woman, but it's not considered anything if a guy does it to you. So why if a, you know, if a guy wants his ass played with? It's, I think at a lot of times, a woman will be like, what does that mean? Does you like guys? Do you want a guy to fuck you? Like, why would you want me to do it? And I've had plenty of guys on here who are into pegging that don't want it to be from a guy. You know what I mean? But that's just what they're into. I'm totally the same way. I'm quite frankly, I love the, I love pegging. And, and, I don't want it to be from a guy. And, you know what I mean. And, but I don't want it. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm And I don't have anything for guys. It kind of goes back to what we talked about earlier, that power switch, like being submissive and having a girl take the lead and taking it to that level where I could totally just let go and have her drive is a very erotic, freeing experience. And my wife was just not in anything like that.

She wanted to be the one on all fours with, you know, me. grabbing her ponytail and just go into town. And that's it. And so you brought up like, hey, like, can we get, like, did you ever try any kind of anal play with her or she just shot it down immediately? We tried. You know, she bought some sex toys and we tried playing it with me and she just, you know, in the middle of it, she's like, I can't get into this.

And I'm like, okay, you know, we'll just lock that, we'll lock that desire away. Put it in the panties draw. Put it in the panties with your panties. Exactly. I left the dildo in the panties and that lockbox and no one shall open it. Well, listen, you got to give her credit for at least trying. It just wasn't her thing. You know, what can you do at, you know, at that point?

I don't know, you know, but that relationship is over. You have a situation. So now when you started to play after your wife, did you, and you, when you realize that the alpha females that you were dating that were around your age weren't right. and you started to date the younger girls. Have you tried all this kind of stuff? I know that you said you got them there to be into the panty stuff. Have you been doing a lot of the pegging and stuff with them as well?

I did. There were a couple that I pegged or pegged me, I should say. And I even had a couple of escorts. I hired at one point just to just do it. Because once I got divorced, I was exploring and doing all kinds of stuff. Nothing like a lot of people calling your show, I have to admit, but still, I was thinking a lot of different women. And there were a couple of younger girls who were totally into pegging,

and I totally dug it. And it was a lot of fun. It was a lot of fun. Now, how do you know, and I'm assuming you do know, and I just want the explanation, like how do you know that you're not into guys? You know, I don't, I never have looked at a man in my entire life and gone, oh, you know, I could have sex with it, right? Or I could do something.

I have often thought that if I was in like an orgy type of situation. Yeah. And I'm down below and all of a sudden there's a, you know, a cock in my face. Yeah. Coming out. Would I like go, ooh or would I go for it? And I go, I'd probably go for it because I'm just in this whole soup of sex activity, right? Yeah.

Uh-huh. That doesn't bother me. Yeah. But just seeing a guy and just wanting to suck his dick or have him suck mine or something, just, or, you know, do me anally. I don't have that at all. To me, it's the female lead taking control. Like, you had a show recently. I listened to as a guy who, I think it was the pantyho's fetish, and he was talking about transvestites.

Mm-hmm. And that was something that has intrigued me, like something about, you know, a transvestite who looks really much like a hot woman but has the male parts. That's something that's intrigued me. I've never done that. But that's something that has intrigued me going, hmm, I wonder what that be like, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, there was, I also had a really interesting podcast episode with a doctor. on. He was like a, you know, a PhD. He was very smart and he went viral on TikTok. I've talked about this

many times on my show because he was, he posted a video saying, listen, just because, you know, a guy sucks a dick every now and then doesn't mean that he's gay. Straight man, a straight guy can do that and be straight. And everyone flipped out. And I can't tell you how many times on my show I have heard guys tell me that exact scenario. And I just never bought it myself. I'm like the regular person like yeah like if you like to suck dick then you like guys you know and they'd be like but no i don't like guys but i like to suck a dick every but he put it in a very he explained it to me in that he said something like you know there's erotic orientation and sexual orientation and erotic orientation like you know just you could be just in the mood for something because like what

you exactly just said like because there's like this sex orgy going on and there's a dick and You're so into that and it's erotic, so you go for it. But it's not your sexual orientation. It means it's not how you identify yourself. It's not a part of who you are. It's in that moment. He described it a lot better than I did, but it really made me finally understand people who have called in my show and try to explain it.

And I think that a lot of times, you know, I tell people about this episode because it helps people explain it in themselves as well. You know, I think you'll get a lot out of that. episode you should listen to it. Like I've had plenty of girls that if we were having sex and then I pulled out and she gave me a blowjob and she could just taste herself all over me. Yeah. Right? Yeah. She would think that was very erotic. But she didn't want to go down on a girl. Exactly. And, and so, but she was right, but she loved like, oh, I can taste myself all over you. Or like she would love it. And that'd be part of the eroticism of what we

we were doing. And so for me, you know, that's how I think about it. Like, it's just sort of a dirty fun if you're into, right? Exactly. Yeah. I've always like, I mean, guys, you know, I swallow, okay? If I'm going to blow a guy, I swallow. I have no problem. I enjoy it. I like to give head. And I've always found it so amusing that so many guys are like, get it. Like, God forbid you try to kiss a guy right after a lot of guys. And I think it's so like, I don't know. I don't know what the right word is, but like for the guys, it's like, oh, you get, don't get near me. You know, it's so stupid, you know, like how come you can't get into it. It's just like the dirtiness of it. It's just hot. Like, live in the moment. You know what I mean? I like, I like that. I have

admit, my ex would do that and a number of girlfriends I've done where they would give me a blowjob and they'd immediately kiss and we would just swap the come or my current girlfriend, She likes it if I come in her and then she'll be like, yeah, she'll sit on my face. Yeah, yeah. Like me clean her out. And there's a, like you said, there's a dirtiness about it, a naughtiness that just, like my ability to get hard and I'm middle age, it comes back fast when that happens. Right. Crazy.

And that's just all that it's about, you know, which is in that moment, like you said. And I just always find it so funny that just guys could snap out of that moment in two seconds because there's. so horrified by the thought of like this might mean you're gay and it doesn't like you are what you are nothing's going to change you if like you know someone shoves a finger up your ass and you like it it doesn't mean all of a sudden you're going to be walking down the street and you're going to want to get every guy to stick their finger up your ass it doesn't mean anything it just means that your asshole has a lot of nerves in there and it feels fucking good like it does for me or gay guy or anybody you know so but i just right right

yeah it does I um I dated a woman who knew how to do a prostate massage really well right and and I was just like yeah I wanted to do it all the time because she was so amazing yeah it's like fine but let's get back to your panty fetish so you now you're dating someone now how long because you said oh I haven't told her because it's not long enough to tell her like what when do you think it's right and how long into relationships have you told people before and when do you think you're going to tell this one So we've been dated about eight months. Oh. And I haven't told her yet. I probably will at some point because she's been very open. Even though she hasn't been as sexually free as me, I've told her certain things. Like I told her how I saw Dominators once. She wasn't shocked or blown away.

She was like, okay, that's interesting. And I think for her feeling safe and secure to explore things with me is allowing her to do certain things and stretch out of her own comfort zone. Yeah. And I really like her. So I'm just going at that pace. Right. And if I see an opening to introduce it, I will, you know, but right now I'm not, I don't want to disrupt things. But she is really open about a lot of things.

So I'm happy with that. Well, because I always think, I mean, is she a long distance person or does she look close by and you see her all the time? Because to me, in adult relationships, eight months is a really fucking long time. If you're 23, eight months is not that long, you know? I don't know why. But like when you're older, like eight months, like to me, if you could get past three months with someone, you're like in a full-fledged relationship. Whereas when you're younger, eight months is around the time where I feel like, oh, most people could last that long and then I don't know.

But I mean, I just feel like that's a long time. Do you see her a lot? Have you, or do you not see her? Like, is it going slowly? No, I see her a lot. It's going, it's going pretty, pretty good. And like she knows I dig panties because she's got tons of songs, right? That's all she wears.

Yeah. And so I'm always like looking at her panties and she's, she's always buying new panties. And so when we've gone panty shopping, I'll be looking at them. And like I said, she likes me to wear some of the tight, silky underwear that, you know, gay guys wear. Yeah. And that, you know, they give me the same feeling and it turns me on the same. So I kind of, I feel like I'm naturally going down a path where I could introduce the panties to her. Yeah.

And not freak her out. like, oh, these are kind of sexy. I wouldn't mind wearing these. And she'd be like, hey, maybe those would look hot on you. And then I'd be like, skin, right? Right. As opposed to being like, hey, I got to tell you a secret about me that I've never been telling. Right.

Yeah. Like, I learned my lesson with my ex. And like, I have to be able to read her. I've read her well enough that I know that I'll eventually do it. It's a matter of finding that right on rent. Mm-hmm. But I, you know, I was younger and I mishandled that with my ex-wife. And that was as bad.

but you know the panty shopping thing is something that I've always enjoyed doing and I enjoy like buying them and just the naughtiness of telling the person you know they're for me versus somebody else right but you haven't done that with her because she doesn't know but do you buy them with her or go with her to get hers like does she know that you're into them on her

oh yeah she does like we'll go to Victoria's Secret and we'll go and to me Victoria's Secret is great, but I would rather go to like Dillard's, right? How come? And go to that more. You know, because it goes, I hate to say, but it goes back to like when I first developed that fetish, right? The style and, you know, Dillard's or J.C. Penny and the intimate section, it's not like

Victoria's Secret was a bunch of thongs and hotness with garter belt and stuff. It's more like more traditional. You see more full cut panties, more just basic styles. And there's something about that. That turns me on to be in that environment, sometimes more than the Victoria's Secret one. Yeah, it's interesting because you did say when you were younger, you were mostly, like visually attracted to the ones, the stuff that looked like the stuff in Victoria's secrets. And you were, right? Because didn't you say you panties?

were what you like, the silky, sexy looking things, and the underwear that your sister wore. So it's interesting that those more basic traditional styles now work for you more? Well, it's not that they work for me more. Like, I love panties. Like, I've had a few girlfriends that, when I told them, I love panties. Like, they would, like, in having sex, we would have fun. And, you know, I would smell their panties and we'd play with them.

but the ones that I wore with the girls that like to do that, they were more full cut because I'm a guy, right? So I wasn't wearing a thong. I was wearing like a bikini cut or a fuller cut panty that gave me more coverage of the silk. And there was a naughtiness of like, yeah, this is, I don't know, it's hard to describe it. It felt more like panties because nowadays a lot of panties look like tiny bikinis. and kind of bikinis or what. Good looking women wear, but like the panties that were seared in my brain from an older woman

were. Or now the regular pant, right, or now the more traditional looking. I got it. Yeah, that actually makes sense. It's crazy. It's all messed up. That's how it is, you know? No, but that totally solves what I was thinking.

That's, you're completely right. It's just because the times are different. So the stuff that you got turned down are now the more traditional basic stuff that's in Dillers and, you know, the stuff that's in Victoria's Secretary. this too far it's not what you're you're used to now with this girl has she pegged you or done all that other kinds of stuff um she hasn't pegged me yet um she knows i have the stuff and she knows i want to do it she's like i'll get there that's what she told me she's played with me a little bit you know but uh she's she's getting to that point how old is she is she is i'm in my mid 50s and

she's in her mid to late 40s. Right. Okay. Well, because she doesn't fit in that 30 something thing. But is she a more beta girl

that you believe that she would be into that switching of, you know, personalities when you get down and you really reveal that side of you? Actually,

she has more alpha in her. She likes to be in control. And when I have exercised more control, like she's, loves it. She's very feminine. She likes to me to lead in all of our ways in the relationship.

But we complement each other as in the bedroom where I have shown a propensity to let her lead and I become more submissive in beta. She jumps all over that. She loves

it. Oh, that's good. Right. So I'm like, yeah, that's why I'm not pushing it because I feel like the elements are there that I can continue to evolve this and she'll get what she wants and I'll get what I want. Right. I just always say this. And it seems like it should be the opposite, but it's not. And it's kind of like what happened to you with your wife. And I don't know that it would have been a different story if you told her the first day as opposed to telling her 10 years later. But I think it's a lot easier to tell a stranger or someone that you don't know so well, something that you're into. than to really reveal a secret, like the longer you wait, the harder it is because it's kind of like, oh my God, you're revealing something and the person's going to be so much more surprised because

they thought that they knew you. Like I think it's harder to show who you really are to someone that you're, you know, the more invested you are, I think the harder to tell than it's so much easier to just go straight in, like straight up. This is who I am. And you would think it's the opposite. You would think, oh, you're with someone 10 years. It would be so easy. much easier to really reveal something. But I think if you've been holding something back, it's not good. But you're not going to kind of put it on or like, this is something that I'm really into and I haven't told you yet.

You wanted to evolve as if it's something new that you just let's try it together kind of a thing. Yeah. I mean, I've told, I've told her I've always had a panty thing. I just think panties are sexy and they turn me on. And she knows that. And I think I told her that, you know, between my mom and my sister, there was always panties around and I jerked off with them here and there. And, you know, but I never told her the extent of like, oh, yeah, I bought panties.

I'm wearing them to work and that kind of stuff like that. I just haven't gone there. And I think that I don't want to, it's not that I'm going to surprise her because, listen, I've told her a lot of things. She knows about my desire for pegging. and she knows I've seen the dominatrix and she knows I've done some kinkier stuff than she has and but she's cool with it she's like as long as she's willing to try new things and she hasn't rejected anything yet so I you know I made a mistake where I introduced the panty stuff to my ex the way I did it and how long I waited but there was a there was shame in introducing that to her

and then afterwards there was a tremendous amount of shame when I got rejected yeah and I carry that my whole marriage. And so after divorce is when I was like up front. And with, but, but even that, the fear of rejection was strong. So I would have to make pretty darn sure that the, the girl or the woman I was with, if I brought it out, they would be into it or not. Right. And so, you know, that would be sleeping with them for a little while, getting a sense of what kinks they're into.

And then I would drop crumbs. Like, oh, yeah, panties turn me on. I love panties. Right. And she dropped all those crumbs with her. Right. I do that. I've done that with my girlfriend.

And she's getting it. And like I said, like I'm sure there'll be an opportunity where we're shopping for panties for her. And I'll find a pair. I'm like, oh, these are good looking. These are kind of like the man ones I have. And see where that takes and see. Maybe they'll, they have a wonderful if we buy these and see what she says, you know.

Yeah, yeah. No, I think that that's great. You know, I totally understand. understand, like I said, your story that happened with your wife is a lot of guys fear. And now, especially for you, because you did have the balls. It takes a lot of balls after 10 years of marriage to really tell somebody that what you did. You know, I don't, how did you get up the courage to do it at that time? And why did you? Well, I had assumed that as, that we had this stronger bond and you know I didn't just dump it on her one night at dinner right it was like

kind of a similar situation she bought some panties and I told her yeah you know I had kind of a panty fetish and you know I used to play around with my mom's panties and she and she'd be like oh yeah that's funny ha ha and then and then I forgot how it was but I brought it up about you know like I remember I tried on a pair of her panties you know or she'd bought a pair that were too big and we were looking at them and and I tried them on because they were kind of look like maybe a male kind of g-stringy thing or song and I was like oh these are kind of good maybe I'll keep them and she was like no way and I said you sure because I kind of like panty stuff and and it just it just fell flat and then I said well listen I've got to tell

you this stuff kind of I dig it and I have a thing for it and she was like surprised but I would have hoped at the time she would have been like, huh, well, I wish you would have told me earlier, but hey, you know, that's cool with me if you dig it. But it wasn't. It was such a hard rejection that I was just like. Right. And like I said, we did talk about it later, and she said, well, I can try. And she went and bought me a pair. I said, you can buy me a pair, whatever you want you think would look good in me.

And she did. and then I wore them once out with her. It was like our little secret. And I'm thinking this was kind of a fun, sexy secret between the two of us that nobody else would know. But instead, she just hated it. And there was no attraction there whatsoever, but they killed attraction.

And so I threw them away and I'm never going there again. Right. And how long after that did you guys? It wasn't, that's not like, I mean, that wasn't the beginning of the end, was it? no that wasn't beginning in the end I think there were a lot of other things

that play but between sort of the you know the pegging kind of stuff or play with the dildo I should say and other things

I think that started to diminish me in her eyes I mean it wasn't those two things that drove us divorced there was a bunch of other things I always talk about it as it was like this slow decline

that you don't really notice, but it just continues to decline. Yeah, for sure. And so, yeah, when we had a great sex life, as long as I played within the boundaries that she set, which is, this is how you're supposed to be in bed with me. This is what you're supposed to do. And so I did that very well. I do that very well.

Well, now, with your girl now, since you can't live out your panty fetish with her, are you still traveling for work? Are you living alone so you could, you know, get off on your? panties wearing them and stuff yeah COVID's killed a lot of travel even though it's coming back but yeah I have I have a couple pair of panties that that when she's not around I'll wear yeah play on um I've been you know I've been trying to I'll wear more of the sort of gay men's underwear you know you can buy them like at the online and stuff and I'll wear those with her and that's fun right that's enough it's not I have to admit it's

It's not like the panties. It's not like that thing that's seared in my brain that I've carried since the teenager, you know? Right. And maybe a part of it is because you know, I mean, you know, you, it's like drinking fake beer. I mean, even if it tastes exactly the same. I mean, it's not giving you. You know it's not real, you know. Yeah.

So it's kind of like the difference between fantasy and reality. You want to really do it. I mean, at that point, you're like role playing with that. on. Yeah. When I, before I met my girlfriend, I hired an escort one time.

And we, I told her about my panty fetish. And we, she played out this whole scenario with me where we went shopping for panties. And then we brought them home. And then she was sort of like a light, dumb kind of person. And so then we just,

so the act of buying the, panties with her was just so such a turn on, so erotic. And then we would come home and then she was making me wear the panties and chion panties. And there was some role play there going on, you know, power play. And that whole experience was just phenomenal. You know, I think I, I think we got together one or two other times after that. But we only did buy in the panties one time. Interesting. How much does it cost to actually make her go to the store buy-in and then have a session afterwards? I always like prices. It was pretty expensive.

It was upwards of a thousand dollars. Yeah, I can imagine. Because you're taking the time she went to the store with you, right? Oh, it was so worth it. We had talked on the phone, and then we met at the mall, and then we went to one of the department stores like Nacy's, I think.

And she we went to the store and she was buying like a broad for herself. And the saleswoman goes, is there anything else I can get you? And she goes, yes,

I need to get panties. And then I was nearby. And the woman goes, what kind do you like? She goes, oh, they're not for me, they're for him.

And that was a part of it. Yeah. That was part of it. Yeah. And the saleswoman, obviously, has dealt with this before because she didn't miss the beach.

She was like, oh, well, okay. So she looks at me. She goes, what kind of panties? do you like to wear? Yeah. And then the escort jumped in and she goes, let's show me what you have.

And then the two of them started talking and picking out panties for me. And I was sort of passive in this, but that was part of the excitement of these women wanting to buy panties and get panties for me. And so she bought me like two or three pair. And but she played up the whole acting thing. like he's he's always trying to put mine on and he's stretching out the waistbands and I'm getting tired of it he needs to get his own panties and that kind of play and then we came home and she switched to more of a dominant type of role where she was telling me to try different panties on and you know we played and did a lot of stuff wow did you take her to that store again ever or was it that

the only one time you did that that was the only one time I did that I've gone back to that door a couple times and bought a pair or two myself. And that same salesperson, saleswoman. No way. Did you remember you, you think? Did you cop to the fact that you were there buying for yourself? I didn't. I told I was buying them.

When I told her when I was there with the escort, I didn't tell her she was an escort. I just said, oh, yeah, it was a fun thing we were playing, you know, but I totally have a thing for panties. and she was like, that's okay. She goes, there's plenty of guys who do. Obviously, she's seen it before. Yeah. And I don't know why, but going to a place like Dillards or J.C. Penny was felt safer than going into Victoria's Secret.

Yeah. I don't know why, but it just, again, it goes back to just, I don't know. I can't explain it. It's a quieter environment and the salespeople are different and it just felt nicer. but yet it was still just as erotic for me. It still turned me on just as much. Yeah, it's interesting because I would think like, oh, maybe because it's like less of a sexual environment. You know, Victoria's Secrets is all about sex when you walk in there, right?

I mean, that's what. Right. And you're in Dilage, it's not, but maybe that's what you like. That's the turn on for you that it's like you're, you know, it's the antithesis of that. And but, and that's what you're bringing to it by talking to that. Yeah. I mean, yeah. There's like a, there's a naughty.

this to a mercy. Like if I did it at Victoria's Secret, it would feel like maybe I'm getting rejected or be like the alpha, beta female thing, right? Yeah. And I'm making assumptions, but I'm feeling like there's just more women in there who don't want to see me in panties. They would rather me, you know, you know, grabbing their hair. Yeah.

They want you to see them in the panties that they're buying. Right. Yeah, exactly. They want to be the hot one in their panties. Yeah. Right. The woman at Dillard knows that. Like, yeah, plenty of dudes have walked through here before, and I know just what to do, right?

That's kind of a deep vibe I got. Yeah. But also maybe there's a little bit of that mom thing in that because I wonder sometimes when, you know, because I've had diaper guys on that love diapers. And sometimes when these things getting green, like maybe when you put them on, you go back to a time. There's something about that time and being younger. And I don't know that there's safety or, you know, I'm not a psychologist, so I can't,

I don't, you know, I don't know the. the real reasons for it, but I always think that there are those kinds of patterns that go in and maybe there's something of that going on too, you know? I'm absolutely sure there is. Because that's, you know, when I discovered panties when I was going through puberty, I started seeing my mother not as mom, but as more as a sexual being, you know. All of a sudden she had breasts. How is it that I didn't realize?

Or she had, you know, a nice ass and a thin waist. and, you know, all of a sudden, and it's not that because she's my mom, but it's just like there was this woman who had, you know, these things that were turning me on as a pubescent boy. And all that gets aroused and connected in some weird way, I have to admit. So buying the panties and those types of panties bring me back to that time when I discovered sexuality, when I was starting to really, think about women and girls and look at Playboy magazines and all that. Right. But do you remember because that was like around the time that your parents were getting a divorced too?

Do you remember any kind of feelings surrounding the divorce and how you were feeling with your dad not in the house? You know, he still lived in the same town and I got to see him. But I, you know, the older I got, I tended to take more of the man of the house. house role. And I think my mom looked to me in that way. But when I was younger, it was just more of just, it was just us. And she was this beautiful woman. But you were like a kid. You were in the kid role and you switched to being in a role that most kids wouldn't switch to because things don't change like that. So, you know, maybe I only bring it up because there was my diaper lover guy. Like,

I mean, he got really into diapers and he said, and it was so interesting because he, you know, he could really put it together for himself that there was a time where he was in diapers. And the minute that he switched out of them, his parents got divorced. And so the only time he really felt like he had the security that he had when his parents were together was in diapers. And one time he put diapers on kind of, and it just made, it made him feel that feeling of security that he had before the divorce, you know. And I was like, oh, duh, that makes so much sense, you know, because he attributed that feeling to that time. So I wonder, and I'm making a very big stretch if, like, you know, putting on those panties made you feel or put you back into that place of being like just the regular child, not the man of the house. And, you know, that was maybe a time where you felt more secure as opposed to all of a sudden.

And at 13, you're not the man of the house. But now you have to be in that role. And that's a little bit, that's a lot to put on a kid. You know, you're still a kid at that time. So maybe that was a little much and that was an escape back to, you know, no different than that CEO who likes to switch and get all that burden off his back. You know, you had that burden as a teenager to take that place of your father. So maybe you put on those panties. It was the same kind of switch of being like, okay, now I could be a kid again.

you know, in a weird way. And I know it was all attached to sexuality because that's happening and all that stuff, you know, but it might have been that separate thing as well. I don't know. Like I said, I'm not. You know, it could be. I'll give you that. I think when I, between 13 and 14, I grew a ton.

Like I went to a huge growth spurt when I hit puberty. And I literally one summer went off as a boy and came back as a teen, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tall. teen and that's when my hormones were really on high gear. So part of it could be exactly what you said. Like it brings me back to that boy feeling. The other part of it was just, I remember specifically that summer where I started getting

into girls. Like girls all of a sudden were like sexual beings and not little girls. And I remember being at home. the panties almost connected me to them. You know, like I'm in the house with a sexual being and these girls. I want to be with them and I can't be with them because I don't even know what to do. And this was somewhat of a bridge,

a step, an introduction. I don't know. Yeah, yeah, right, right. I got it.

Yeah, that's like that whole edipus thing that I can't get into because I don't really know much about that at all. And as a mom, it's always horrifying to me to talk. Like, I can't talk to people who think that they're into their fucking moms. They're like moms that are into.

But, you know, listen, there's a whole thing, an Oedipus complex that exists. I mean, I think that it's these kinds of connections and these kinds of things probably happen more often than not. You know? They do. I know plenty of women my age who, you know, when I, I think, I've never admitted to a lot of them I had a panty face, but I remember joking about, you know, they were mentioning something about. are teenage boys and I bet oh like you know how many panties are disappearing and they'd be like oh my god I had to tell my son to leave my panties alone right I've had that told to me by at least three women right mm-hmm so it happens but I think mom of boys just sort of know that they deal with it

it's nothing that is doesn't change apparently so it is what it is yeah no no no I know I've like I said I've I've talked to all my pantingos guys that a lot of the guys that have a fetish for women's stuff, you know, would steal from their sisters or their moms, you know. I'm just talking about when it becomes like a thing where you're looking, like you're like my mom has nice breasts, like you're, you're kind of making that, that kind of connection. That's like a step further. And I think that that ties into a totally different thing. Like I said, that I don't know much about, but they've studied this a million times. There's a complex named about it. And I think that those wires can get crossed for different

reasons where, you know, here you are this young guy who really wants to hook up with girls because you're so horny and you have hormones surging through your body for the first time in your life. And this person that you see is your mother. Like, so how fucking confusing is that, you know? So, and that's, I think that that's what it's about, but I don't know much about it, you know. But listen, let's face it, right? People have types, right? And there are plenty of guys out there. Like, you, you see their, wife and you see their girlfriend and you're like why would he be with her and then you see their mom I know like oh right like a skinny guy likes a heavier girl and you're like I don't get it and then you see

his mom it's like oh my gosh yes exactly that's exactly right I have a really good friend and he was always like I love what's that girl from Will and Grace the Redhead what's her name oh yeah I know I don't know her yeah you know who it is right well you right her and he was like so inter and I was like that's so odd because this guy like would date like hot Russian models. You know, she's just not the type, you know, and I was always like really perplexed by the fact that he was into her as a type, you know, but that was like his celebrity crush. And like I said, it did not make sense of what he was into or what most guys would be into. And then I saw a picture of his mother. I, oh my God. He was horrified because I was like, I sent it back like, I photoshopped it with a picture. Oh,

Debra Messing. With Debra Messing next to his mother, I was like, you like her because she's your fucking mother. So gross, but true. And he was like, oh my God, fuck off. You know what I mean? But you're completely right. And not only that, what about people that marry people that look exactly like them? What's that all about? You know, that kind of stuff happens all the time. Well, you know, my mom. Yeah. She was a brunette. She looked like Jacqueline Smith, you know, from Charlie's Angels. Yeah. And you look at my ex-wife and you can be like, yeah, you got a type. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So it does. And I'm over that now. Like I totally, I rejected that type. Yeah. To some degree. But you work through it. Maybe you're working through that stuff. Yeah.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We all work through our relationships with their parents with other people. I had a boyfriend that I told this story to, you know, and he was like the, he was like such a fucking asshole. But so was my dad.

And it wasn't until we broke up and I said, fuck off and finally left him and stopped with all his nonsense and stood up for myself and walked out. It was like a year after we broke up. I was looking at pictures of my father and I saw a picture of him when he was way younger. And it was spitting image of that guy. I mean, I was like, holy fucking shit. And I really felt like when I told him like, go F yourself, you know. And I said it was me finally being done with my.

daddy issues, you know? It really was a big turning point. And the fact that he was exactly like my father in every way, shape and form and on top of it, which I didn't even realize at the time, he fucking looked like him. It really was the top of the mountain for me in that I was really facing my issues. And when I was really able to say bye to that person, it was, it really signified me saying goodbye to that part of myself, you know, and those issues. So I totally get that. Hold on one second. They could come up. Just tell them to leave in front of my door, Rubin, okay? Okay. Thanks, bye. Sorry, my food. So it is a real thing that I could go on for hours about. It's interesting. And we all have that. And like I said, they, you know, and it makes sense, you know. But anyway, thank you so much for calling in. I really enjoyed this conversation.

I think it's, I really want to know. Can you do me a favor and let me know when you finally tell your girl how it all goes down? I think you're going to be fine and she's going to be in with it. And I think it's smart that you're taking it kind of slowly, you know, and letting her feel it. And she is open and, you know, and she's been receiving everything else like, okay. And she does like to be dumb that I think she's going to be totally into it when you do put it on the table, which is good. for you. Yeah, I hope so.

I think it will, but I'm not trying to rush it, like you said. Yeah. But I'll definitely let you know how it'll go down. Yeah, so by the end of the year when I do my updates, I'm, you know, I hope you don't wait years, okay? I hope you get, you know. No, I'm not. Okay.

I can't do that. That's not. I learned my lesson. I'm not doing that again. Yeah, well, you have four months before you're already one year out. So, you know, hurry up. But do it and let me know how it goes. And your episode will definitely.

be airing on a Friday for my fetish Friday. So keep an eye out for it. And thanks so much for calling in. Thank you for listening to me and my queer fetish. And appreciate it. Thank you. Hey, everyone. Thanks so much for tuning in to this week's episode. If you want to follow the show, follow me at Strict Anonymous on Instagram or Twitter. That's at Strict Anonymous. If you are on YouTube, make sure to subscribe. I love YouTube as a platform for my show because people comment there and I try to reply back to every single person who post a comment. So even if you're not listening on YouTube and you want, okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly anonymous confession, secret sex lives of total

strangers is now available not only in paperback and ebook, but you can pre-order the audio book. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is, basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang being girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person. And they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person. And I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like Penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are

true stories. 17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format. And finally, the audiobook is available coming out August 25th. But you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I'll, will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint. Okay. There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me. Okay. I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other. And that's what you get to do there. You could post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of

contests where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total strictly anonymous community and you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord. It's private, like I said. All you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook, or the paperback. Send it to me at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. That's strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. And I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in. This is the strictly anonymous podcast. When I talk about the show, go to my YouTube channel, subscribe, like, and share my videos,

a strictly anonymous podcast. If you want to sign up for my Patreon, on my Patreon, you are not only supporting my show, but you will get these episodes early, ad free, and you get to see anonymous picks of my guests. Most of the girls send in anonymous picks, and some of the guys send an anonymous picks. So if you want to see anonymous picks of my guests, as well as, support my show and get these episodes early and ad free sign up for my patreon patreon.com slash strictly anonymous podcast that's patreon.com slash strictly anonymous podcast the link is also in the description below thanks so much for listening