Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 487 - Kat and Ams are Two Hot Wives in the Lifestyle

Episode Date: May 22, 2022

Kat and Ams are two hot wives in the lifestyle and they call in to talk all about it. What do they like best about being in the lifestyle? What are their tips on how to successfully navigate the lifestyle? And, what are the positives they have they gotten out of it? Tune in to hear all the details including what exactly goes down at a swingers party, their recommendations of finding the best parties to attend and how and why they started throwing their own, the benefits that can come out of swinging as well as what can go wrong and why, what their intention was when they both started swinging with their husbands, what really goes down on a swingers cruise, misconceptions about what does and does not go down, what goes down at swingers resorts and why they love them as well, where all the sex is going down, how they have taken part in orgies, how they prefer mmf threesomes, their fave scenarios and set us they enjoy when hooking up with others, their podcast 2Hotwives and what they discuss on there including anal sex, squirting, impact play and a whole lot more. Check out the 2HotWives podcast here: https://apple.co/3mztQMe **To see an anonymous pic of Kat and Ams + most of my other female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the strictly anonymous podcast. Strictly anonymous podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. The Craigslist is definitely like the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Singapore or Thailand. You can't not do it.

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So go there if you want to be not writing all this shit down. If you're on a podcast, that make sure to subscribe to my show, write a great review. I love good reviews. Um, that's that. So today I have on Cat and Ams. They have their own podcast called Two Hot Wives together as one word. They're not hot wives in that they sleep with other guys in front of their husbands in that sense, but they do sleep with other guys in front of their husbands because they both happen to be in the lifestyle. And they're very involved in the lifestyle. To the point where, like, like most of their friends are all people in the lifestyle. I mean, that's like, it's like, it has become a big part of their life. They're professional, quote-unquote, swingers, I guess

you might want to call them. I don't know. Is that what they call? Is that the proper term? That's where they met each other. They became super close friends, all of them. They have slept together. They also sleep with a lot of other people. They talk about what they're into and what they do, as well as a lot of other interesting things about the lifestyle. We talk about cruises. We talk about swingers party. They're here, swingers parties. They're here to like debunk most of the myths of what you think goes down at all these places. They really paint the picture because I was curious, like, what is a swingers cruise like? Is everyone just like fucking, like do you walk on board and everyone like drops her drawers and just like a free for all? Or, you know, what does it really

look like? And they talk about that because they've been on those. They've been on vacations. They talk about, you know, swingers resorts and what goes on there and what that's really like. And they talk about, you know, where, which one of those places are the best places to dip your foot into the lifestyle if you're thinking about it. And they give a lot of other tips on how to be successful in the lifestyle and opening up your relationship. Now, they were on before. Their first episode gave a lot more of their backstory. So if you want to listen to their first episode after you listen to this one to get even more information on them and hear their backstory, the link to their first episode is also going to be

in the description. But this one is a great standalone because they do something else here. Like I said, they give you a lot of information about the lifestyle. You should definitely go check out their podcast. They do a lot of interesting things over there. You get even more information about the lifestyle. They also give each other a sexy homework and then they report back. like on things like the squirting, anal sex, and all that kind of good stuff.

So you're going to want to go check out their first episode with me. You're going to want to check out this episode and then you're going to want to check out their show too because they are, not only are they hot, they're two hot wives. They happen to be lovely. I think they're great spokeswomen for the lifestyle because, you know, you might have a picture of what you think people in lifestyle are. And if it was negative, I feel like they 100% would change that picture in your life. mind. Anyway, I'm going to be right back on with Kat and Ames. Hi, Kat and Ams from the two

Hot Wives podcast. Did I just say that wrong or did a two two hot wives podcast, right? The hot part didn't come out. Yeah, it looks like it sounded like it dropped. Plank Wides. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, Hot Wives. Two hot wives. Yeah, now listen, you guys have been on my show before. We're not really hot, hot, hot wives. You're really hot, hot. Yeah. We had a great time. So much fun. We're not bad looking. No, and you guys are anonymous like me. I noticed that about you.

I mean, I have some videos of me where I just show my torso on YouTube, because how else am I going to do a video? Because I am anonymous on my show. And you guys are the same. You show body shots and stuff, but you don't show your face. That's right. We're very talented at disguising ourselves. Right.

Oh, cute, sexy picture from the back. Turn your head just a little bit more. Yeah. Yeah. You know, we both have minor children, and we just feel like we're not ashamed of anything we do, but our shit is not their shit. So we don't want to, you know, cause any problems for them. Yeah. No, now, I totally understand that because I'm in that same boat.

Now, you guys are two hot wives. You're not hot wives as in hot wifing, like that whole scenario. We'll talk about that later because you have an episode on that. But you guys are both in the lifestyle. you're both married, you got into the lifestyle later in life, correct? And I have your whole backstory on the first episode. I'll definitely put a link to your first episode in the description of this one so people could get the full backstory there.

But why don't you guys introduce yourself and then give a little bit of your backstory so people know who we're talking to because it's two women on this call, Cat and Ames, and you kind of sound similar. We do. Yes. Yeah. So I'm Am. I'm Kat.

We're the two housewives. There you go. Yeah, we are both happily married for close to two decades. Yeah, me, more than that. A little over 20 years from you and Mr. Kat. And we discovered lifestyle, which is ethical non-monogamy. You know, the opportunity to have sexual connections with people who are not our husband, with everybody knowing and being consenting about it.

So lifestyle is a term for that, ethical non-monogamy, swinging is then, you know, a term that your listeners might be familiar with. We started, you know, four or five years ago a little bit more for that. Right. And just found that it was transformative. It made our marriages better. It made our sex lives better. And I actually think, too, since.

we started the podcast, we have learned so much that we've even gotten better at being in lifestyle. We've gotten better at ethical non-monogamy and we've made lots of changes from when we first started to what we really, to what we do now. Yeah. Yeah. So after doing it for a while, we had these amazing sexual experiences and there just wasn't sort of space to process them, to give advice to people to, you know. To girl talk. Yeah. And so we, we wanted to put a podcast out there where we shared our perspective and our experiences so that people could learn from our mistakes or people could learn from our successes and just kind of normalize the idea that women have the right to have amazing facts on their terms.

Exactly. And there were a lot of podcasts out there that are couples. But we felt like we brought a different perspective being girlfriends who just dish, dish the, you know, the details. as girlfriends would. Yeah. Just kind of keep, we love men. Like, we love men.

We love men. But if they're in the room, you have a very different conversation. So we're able to have like really open, honest conversations with each other, you know, without sort of that male gaze. And that's interesting because the first time we tried to try to start recording, the guys were there. And we were like, this isn't working. Yeah, it's not going to work. This is not going to work. That is interesting.

Yeah, so from day one, we knew we could not have these conversations with them watching us or listening. So we go off on our own and we have our own little dungeon studio. Yeah. And yeah, we do it all our own. And do you find that, you know, who are your listeners? Do you find that it's mostly women? Is it men and women? It's both.

I would say it's predominantly married men are the first ones to find us. because they tell their wives, you need to check this out. Yeah. But we figure that even, you know, our podcast is by women, for women. But we figure if men are listening, it's still for women. Totally. If they're going to their partners and sharing what they're learning from us or sharing our podcast directly with them and having them listen, then it's for them too.

I mean, our main audience is for women. But we think that no matter who listens, they benefit. Yeah, for sure. So you got the guys. But like you said, even though, even if it's the guy listening, they're married, they're listening because it's maybe just a fantasy or something that they want to bring up to their wife. And you give tips like that on your show. Right. It's like back in the, what, 80s when guys used to read cosmopolitan to try to understand that the, the complicated female minds. Yeah. And so you are, you're not hot wives in that sense, but you're in the lifestyle. Now, you know, I figured I'd have you back on to get more specific about the

lifestyle, you know, because you guys made a career out of this and now you have your own show. I figured, let's talk to the experts about the lifestyle and get the skinny from your guys' perspective, you know, on what goes down at the parties and the cruises and, you know, that kind of stuff. Sure. Absolutely. We're ready. I mean, so like swingers parties, I've heard so much about swingers parties. And I mean, how do you find the right swinger party for you? Sure. I think a complicated question to answer because what couples are seeking out is going to be different. Once you sort of decide, we're not going to follow the normal conventions of what a marriage is supposed to look like. Then you and your partner decide what you're seeking out. And for some

people, they are seeking out crazy anonymous one-time sex. Either people are seeking out a closer community. They want to be friends with people that they might have a sexual relationship with. And then, of course, there's like the polyamory community where they're really looking to make deep, emotional, intimate connections with people. And it's more like dating a lot of people. So it runs the gamut. And so we have found that in this larger community that we,

we've sort of built over time, we're, everybody is all different shapes and sizes. And what we necessarily are attracted to might not be what someone else who comes to one of our parties is attracted to. But, but there's always someone else there for them. So it seems like, at least in the parties that we have had, it seems like everyone seems to find a match. A lid for every pot. That's right.

You know, I guess my recommendation for somebody who wants to check out a swinger party is know the host and find out from the host what their rules are at the party. Because we've gone to parties where it's like, it's 10 o'clock, let's all get naked and go downstairs. And we've gone to other parties where it's super low pressure. There's lots of no play spaces, you know, that play is super ancillary to the party. party itself. So, you know, I wouldn't go to a house party where I didn't know the host, but people do that all the time. If you don't know them, or even if you do, I don't have a choice, you know, if you're invited by someone who at least knows the host. I mean, I wouldn't go to a party where I didn't know anybody. Yeah. But I would go to a party where I didn't know the host,

as long as I knew the people who were bringing me and they were vouching for the couple. And it felt You know, you just have to ask a lot of questions of whoever it is who's invited you, sure, or whatever party you're going to go to because you can't always know the host. But I'm with AMs. You know, it's nice to know what you're getting yourself into before you get there. The other thing I would say is be on the same page with your spouse, with your partner. If you are going to a party and all you want to do is watch, assuming that is okay with the host and the vibe of the party, then then stick to that or have a conversation where you've sort of reset expectations

if you want to change that. If you think you, you know, want to play, talk with each other about what that would look like and make sure you're on the same page about who you would play with and stuff like condom usage. And you can't make any assumptions when you're deciding the rules for yourself. So you do a lot of talking. Well, and you need to be willing to walk away from the situation together so that you can have that conversation. Because sometimes at parties there is a place where you can do that. And sometimes there's not. And you can't just, you know, occupy the bathroom for a long time. You know, because if you need to talk to your spouse about something, you can't just do it in room full of people. It makes it a little difficult. So, you know, over the,

over the years, we've gone to different parties separately and together. And we've figured out the things that we like and the things that we don't particularly like. Yeah. And we've sort of put together our own formula for the parties that we like to have. Yeah. And through building a community, I would say, you know, if you're in a situation where you can start to build a community, your own community, then you can really throw the kind of parties that you want to have and you can do it as a group, not just there's one host,

but a host that can like delegate some of the things. and you can really make it really amazing and really fun and exactly what you want it to be. And we go into, like, ridiculous amount of detail on house parties and the way we throw them. Like, we have a model that works really well for us. What is one of your swinger parties like? Oh, my God. The last one was incredible. And actually, I think they've gotten better every time.

The last one was our third party. Right. First party, we, we, it was really good. Yeah, sure. We had a lot of people come. Each party has gotten bigger and bigger. Right. But we plan, we plan ahead.

We plan for play spaces. We plan for no play spaces. We plan for food and drinks and music and lighting. And, you know, those are the kinds of things that have a little details that really matter. You know, making sure there's linens and condoms and lube. Lidens, like up for the bed. For the bed. Oh, linens.

Linens. Like lemons. Okay, yeah, linens. Lemons. Yeah. Yeah. No. It's that, you know,

the model that we've developed came out of going to a bunch of house parties where it's, not that the hosts were lovely, the house was lovely, the people were great, but it just didn't turn me on. Like, I didn't want to have sex there. So it's like, what would be the kind of party that we would actually, they'd turn to on that I want to have sex. And, you know, our parties have been theme parties because we think that's super fun. And we love playing around with the decorations and the costumes and all of that.

We do have multiple play spaces of different sizes that some are just like one little bed in one little room and others are multiple beds, you know, in bigger spaces. At this last party we had, we actually had a little crawl space underneath the stairs. Yes. One little door where only a twin bed would fit in there, literally. on either side, there was no walking. It was literally under the stairs. And it was like a favorite spot.

A lot of people like that. We had like a little sheer kind of, a little sheer curtain. But you could see in, but you couldn't really tell who was in there. And it was like lit. Like the little Harry Potter room. Yeah. It was crazy. People loved it.

Yeah. Yeah. But the key for me, for us, is having those no place. spaces and having them open the whole party so that people don't, like, they don't feel like they have to go into a space where play is expected, and I feel like they can get away from that when they need it. And they don't have to leave the party just because they don't feel like having sex. Big part of our parties is mingling and having fun and just talking to everybody. And here we are in these fantastic costumes, because I'll tell you, when people come to our parties,

they dress up. And it's really fun. And so we're just, we're just having a good time. regular good time like a regular party actually better than a regular party because all the men and women kind of stick together and all talk to each other you know how you go to a regular party vanilla party yeah and everybody separates all the guys are in one room talking about something yeah and all the girls are in the other room talking about whatever and you're not you're not all together at these parties and and any really any swinger parties that we've been to the the couples mingle as couples. Everybody's in the same room.

Everybody's having a good time. Yeah. So the most recent one was dirty Disney, which I thought was going to be a little bit creepy, but it turned out amazing. The interpretations of all the different characters, the Disney characters, was just incredible.

Everybody came in something like totally off the wall, having to do with that particular character. It was amazing. It was so much fun. Oh, yeah. And we did a, back to the 90s theme, which was fun. That was a little more chill than the rest of it.

But people really dug deep into the 90s culture and found some cool things to do. Yeah. Yeah. And the first one was like a heaven, like a twist on a heaven and hell party. Yeah. Yeah. Now when you say this one,

the last one was like one of your bigger ones or smaller, you know, how many people show up to one of your parties? This is last one. 70 people. Yeah. This last one was really big. Yeah.

You know, though, each party has gotten bigger and bigger because the word gets around and people want to get invited. And what we've done that I think is really a good thing is we have pre-events that lead up to the party. So the week before the party will have like a meet and greet at a local bar. It's not a really, it's not a really orchestrated kind of thing. Everybody just shows up. And we mingle and we meet. And it's not a sexual event at all. Sure. I mean, I'm sure maybe some people go off and do whatever, but it's just meant for us to just hang out, meet people. Everybody can talk to each other. So you meet a lot of new people, but by the time you get to the party, you already know people. And then we have the party the night before we have a decorating party, which is hugely helpful. Yes, because everybody comes and helps to decorate. And that, I think, is really key to getting people to be excited about the theme and excited about the party because they're not going to come.

come to the decorating party and then not show up for the party. Right. A big part of like what we're trying to build is a sense of community. And it's more than sex, you know, for us. And I think swing culture varies. It's not monolithic, just like monogamous culture isn't monolithic. For us, it's really friendship forward. And we probably do as much activities that are completely vanilla, non-sexual,

as we do play experiences. Yeah. Well, I mean, that's your guy's story. You do swap. I mean, you were each other's first full swap, right? But you're also now podcasting together, and you're obviously like great friends, and you have this whole other life outside of that.

You happen to have sex sometimes and have these parties, but you do lead a vanilla life with each other as well. Right, right. Yeah, except that most of our friends are lifestyle friends at this point. It's sort of flipped in that. Yeah. Oh, really? But it's still, like you said, it's still mostly friendship kinds of things. Like we're having a barbecue. And, you know, the word will get out, this is a kid friendly barbecue. So everyone knows, you know, no sex talk at this barbecue or be very careful. There are little ones around. Or, you know, I've got teenagers and there's some folks that have like littler ones. So the teenagers will take the littler ones and watch them. And we're all having a great time. And it's, just it's just sort of become our normal. Yeah.

Right. And so now you don't even, you, most of your friends are in the lifestyle and you're like, you're that involved. Sure. Yeah. Well, so, you know, most of the people that you're talking to, us included, are somewhat anonymous about their sexual activities. Yeah.

And, and I get that. People don't feel comfortable talking about sex. But at some point, for us, it felt a little inauthentic to, you know, be so compartmentalized with our sex life and our social life. Right. So we just kind of got more open in that way. And it was a really tough journey and it's still really super scary. But making that switch from being completely anonymous to being just more open and authentic to everybody. Because I remember when we first got into the lifestyle, this was cat speaking, we were paranoid about, you know, people finding out who we really were and, you know, getting to know too much about us.

And we probably were like that for at least a year. We didn't tell people where we lived. And we were just, you know, we were worried. We were not sure what this was all about. And over time, we've gotten so much more relaxed about that. and we have grown to trust the people that we hang out with because they're trusting us too. Sure. And we've gotten close to them.

And I really feel like none of us would ever hurt each other for anything. And, you know, we all know to be careful. And we've kind of just gotten used to that. Yeah. Now, how many times do you see couples? Because you guys now have been doing it for five years. But at one point, it was, you know, a new thing to you guys. I mean, how many times do you meet new couples coming?

in and see things go bad as opposed to see things go good. You know, what do you say to that or what has your experience been with newbies yourself? Sure. So in the beginning, you know, when we were newbies, we would see new couples maybe, you know, once a month. And when something goes bad, I mean, at least in my experience, it doesn't go bad. It's just like, oh, these are such nice people, but not really. really a sexual fit for us or not really a fit for us in that way. And so it was usually,

you know, just a, it was so nice to meet you guys and maybe we'll see you out socially, but we don't think there's a connection there. And you try to be as honest as you can as quickly as possible. But over time, you know, you start to realize that, well, you start to find out, you start to figure out ahead of time kind of what you're looking for. And you get, you get, you better and better at vetting that and and doing the homework ahead of time and then you meet and there's more of a more of a possibility there right yeah is your question how how quickly does a newbie end up like totally exploding and ruining their marriage or no more so because I feel like now you guys are experts and you guys are running the party you have the podcast you guys have been doing this

you know you have it in the bag so now when you look at other couples coming into this What do you see that they're doing right? What do you see that they're doing wrong? You know what I mean? That kind of stuff. Because like I said, now you guys are like experts. Yeah. Oh, I see.

So I would say you need to be on very strong footing in your marriage. You need to be in a really solid place to explore this because the absolute best and strongest marriages will get tested if they start. opening up to other sexual and or intimate experiences. Yeah. Right. If you think that this is a way to spice up your sex life or to improve your marriage, that's not the right.

Or to save, like it's not going to save your marriage. You better have a really strong marriage going in. It'll find all the soft spots and push really fucking hard. Right. So, but it creates great opportunities for conversations that you would never have otherwise. And growth.

And growth. the growth is tremendous. Like it's like getting forged in steel. And I can honestly say that my marriage is the strongest it's ever been doing this for five years. But it was not like a straight rocket ship path. There's been some ups and downs and consternation. And so if somebody is interested in exploring lifestyle, the first thing they need to do is have a conversation between the two of them and figure out. and figure out, you know, what is, what's our goals?

What are we looking for? What are our boundaries and limitations? And just make sure you're going at it as a team. Well, and if you're the one who's interested, before you think about mentioning it to your partner, think about your relationship. Where is your relationship? Is it where it should be?

Are there things that you should be doing to make your marriage stronger before you ever even think about approaching the subject? with your spouse. Because if you approach that subject with your spouse and you're not in a really fantastic place already, that's going to feel really threatening. And you're definitely not going to be in a better spot in order to make that go forward. If you ever think of ever getting into the lifestyle, get into your marriage first,

make that the best that it can be first before you ever even talk about it. Right. And then it could be additive. Like, I mean, you did say, like it can't be the intention like, oh, we have an issue here, let's go do this because it'll help us. That can't be the intention. The intention for you guys was different, but it wound up to that it did actually help your marriage and make it so much better.

But that wasn't why you did it. You know, what was the intention going in? For, yeah, for Mr. Anthe and I, it was how do we invest in our marriage and have more fun. And, you know, we had a friend going through a divorce at the time. We had relatively young kids super easy. We loved each other, but super easy to take each other for granted. And so we just sat down at a bar and had a conversation about, you know, how can we make sure that when our kids leave, we still want to be together and spend the rest of our lives together. So it was really intentional in that way. And we wanted to have a lot of fun.

Yeah. And it's. And it's. It has been. It's been tremendous amount of fun. And it can be something that meets the needs of the two people in a marriage that are very different. I mean, it's not good for solving a problem. But it can be that each person within a marriage is getting something very different out of the lifestyle experience. And that can be wonderful. Oh, interesting. Right. And there's nothing wrong with that. Yeah, because in a marriage, in monogamous marriage, we're supposed to be everything to each other, everything. Yeah. How can we possibly do that all the time? It's very difficult. But when you can branch out a little and have those other needs met by other people in a fun, consensual, open atmosphere, it's incredible. Yeah, it's a lot of fun.

And it's not like you guys just don't. right into it. I mean, it took a while. Did you guys meet, I forget, did you guys meet very early on? Because I know that you were both each other's first full swap. And you guys took that slowly, both of you separately. You were, you didn't dive right into it and do that right away, correct? Well, that's not exactly true. Oh, okay. Mr. Kat and I had full swap before. Oh, okay. They had, it was, it was new for Mr. Ams and I. Right. And we were, I don't know, six months into lifestyle. when we met Kat and Mr. Kat

and you guys more like two or two years. Two years. We had two years on them. Oh, okay. So you were a little bit farther down the line. Right. Mm-hmm. And now Swingers cruises. Now, do you guys go on this week? Tell me about those.

Like, what goes down? Is it kind of like you know, it's sort of like the Swingers parties too? I think we all think like, oh, people just walk in and drop their drawers and you know, everyone's like fucking all of a sudden. Someone called in the other day and this woman was telling me a story and I just knew she was so full of shit. Everything about her story is just,

because she was like, oh, we went to a swingers party and, you know, we walked in the door and dropped her drawers and I'm just like, I've never heard of that. Like, it's not how things go down, but I think some people that don't really know what really goes down, think that that's what's happening. So like at a swingers cruise, do you walk on and like everyone's just like

having sex or does it kind of look like a regular cruise? Smells like a regular cruise, but it's not really a regular cruise. Oh, yeah. So, yeah, so let's remember about it. that on this because, and we did two awesome episodes on Swinger Cruise where we go into a high level of detail about our experience. But these are organizations that, that charter enormous commercial cruise lines like Royal Caribbean and Carnival and Celebrity. So, and it's their man

by the staff of that ship. So there are very strict rules. about where you can be nude or topless and where sex can take place and where it doesn't because the staff are not lifestyle people. So they're very friendly. They're very accepting and non-judgmental. And they've all agreed to be there. They know what the cruise is going to be. Right.

It's not like they're surprised or, you know, this isn't forced on them. Right. But we are the best tippers, I will say. Oh, really? Oh, yeah. Everybody's drunk and happy. So happy and we're excited and we're throwing more. money around like yeah oh my god that's funny that makes sense like a regular adult crew it has

everything that you would experience on a regular ship the shows the food the special restaurant the shop um but because it's chartered by a lifestyle group they host a bunch of additional activities that you can participate in so in terms of like the fun super sexy stuff there's playroom that are, you know, beautifully appointed where people can go. They can play with people that they bring with them. They can play with people that they just meet there. They're monitored. They're safe.

There's condoms available everywhere. And then the pool, if we're not in port, the pool could be nude. And so there were a lot of people just hanging out being nude at the pool. But there was no sacks happening at the pool. It's just like cool conversation with someone who happens to have like a Prince Albert Cox. Right. Right.

You know? Yeah. Well, and like there's still a piano bar, you know, with the cruise singer. Oh, yeah. But there's also an area where they're having a BDSM sort of demonstration. And that's kind of cool, too. So there's regular cruise things to do and there's very sexy things to do. Yes.

And the club is fun. And are these huge cruise ships? Like those big ones you're talking about. Yeah. So how many people you have on there? Yeah. Yeah. The last one had about 4,500 people.

That's right. It was the biggest, it's the biggest event we've ever been to. I think that had ever happened. It was on one of the Royal Caribbean Oasis class ship, which is the biggest ship on the ocean. So it, because of COVID restrictions, it wasn't at full capacity. But yeah, there were 4,500 guests there. And not everybody participates in sexual activities. It's not a requirement that you're a swinger.

I would say the majority of people were open to that. I think anybody who just wants to check it out, that is the place to do it. Because all of the public places are kind of sex-free. You can be topless or you can be fully nude or you can have your bathing suit all on. There were plenty of people with their clothes on, bathing suits on. And you can just mix and mingle with people who are just free and happy and open. It would be the most fun cruise you would ever go on. Yeah.

Yeah, and you're right. It is good for a newbie or like someone new or just trying to dip their toe because then they're not going to feel like an asshole maybe, you know, not being nude, like you said, or not participating because they're still nervous, but you can feel it out. Yeah. Yep. I'll tell you. If you tell people that you're new, oh my gosh, you are the most popular.

person at the pool. No way. Everybody wants to talk to you. And I don't mean in a creepy way. I just mean that swingers are very welcoming. They are the nicest people because they're so happy and they want you to be comfortable and they want you to be happy and you could ask them just about anything and they will tell you. Yeah.

And they never look to pressure people. Yeah. I think maybe one of the biggest misconceptions of swing events. is that people are going to feel like they're being hunted. Like it's going to be super predatory or somebody is going to like touch your wife's boobs. And that could not be further from the truth. In fact, usually it's people who are not lifestyle who don't know what the rules are and get so excited and like grab your ass and be like, it's my birthday.

And I'm like, get your fucking hand off my ass. I don't care that it's your birthday. Right. But it's not people who are well-versed in the community because they know how important consent is and conversations are. Yeah, that's exactly right. Anytime that that's happened to me, it's been someone who doesn't know better. Yeah. And we're pretty nice about letting them know.

But you have to, you know. Yeah, no, I had a guy who called in. He was highly involved in the lifestyle. And somebody made a comment on Instagram to his thing, like, Oh, this guy was a creep. He was like a groomer. I'm like, you stop like projecting your stuff onto this guy. He was the opposite of a creep.

You don't absolutely know what goes on. I'm not talking bigger picture here. This is this person's story. And he was obviously everything was consensual. And he's in this world. And you're creating a story that doesn't exist. But I think that a lot of people that, like you said, it's the newbies or even the people looking, you know,

from the outside that want to judge, they could put these kinds of scenarios in there. but when it comes down to it, you're here to say, as people who have been in the lifestyle for a very long time, you know, that it's the opposite of what I think

some people would think, or a lot of people would think. Yeah, absolutely. That there's grooming and predators there. Oh, God, no. No, look, I think the first year that people get into the lifestyle, sometimes there's a high level of enthusiasm.

And you just like, one and you're on all the different things. Yeah. You haven't learned the rules yet. Right. There are rules. And yeah, so, you know, couples make mistakes. Couples break their own rules with each other.

And but, you know, then you kind of settle down into your sophomore year and you're too cool to like have tears and drama at the house party or whatever. And, you know, by the time you've done it for a while, I have no interest in trying to convince someone to have sex with me. Right. We don't have sex with me. We don't need to. Cool. Next, please. Like, it doesn't, there's no pressure.

in most situations, or if there is, we avoid those situations. So the vast, fast majority of swing events, nobody, it's almost too hard to line something up because, you know, nobody wants to feel like they're pressuring anyone else. Right. And so you're saying, like if somebody was to dip their toes in and go on a cruise or one of these big kinds of events, and you put it out there. If anything, you're just going to have people helping you. you and talking you through it, people that have been there, they're not going to shun you

or you're not going to feel uncomfortable. Absolutely. No. They may proposition you at some point and you can just be like, oh, no thing. And that's cool. I mean, you can't participate in lifestyle if you're not comfortable with a certain amount of rejection because for whatever reason, sometimes it's not going to work out. Like, Kat and I are pretty hot.

We've both gotten rejected before for various reasons. So you have to be okay with that. But yeah, sometimes people might ask, but there's not going to be any pressure behind it. And you're always welcome to say no. Did you do any kind of cross-promotion with that cruise? I know that you said you had two episodes where you go really into detail. And I'm going to give links to your show and everything so people could go listen to them.

I'm wondering because you have a platform now, you know, did you like promote it and then get to go on? And then did you do episodes from there? Did you do anything like that with them or you should because you should? Well, this was our very first cruise that we've ever gone on. And we did subsequently set up sort of a relationship with the one of the agents. Yeah, one of the agents there. And so we do get a little something if someone books using our affiliate code. Yeah.

But we didn't go on with that already in place. Yeah. So we went on just to check it out, give our real. opinion, really feel it out and see what we really thought about it. Yeah. So we are going back on a Bliss cruise in November of 2022. And if, you know, if your listeners are interested in joining us, there are still some rooms available.

We, I mean, we love to meet people live and sort of mentor people, but kind of share our experience. So we're happy to give you the link to that. It really, like Kat said, we don't like. to endorse anything that we don't fully, fully believe in. So we've never, never, like, made arrangements for that ahead of time. But we had such a great experience that we cannot wait to go back. Yeah.

Yeah. There's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with that. I think that that's actually perfect, you know, because you're not, like you said, you're not telling your audience about something just to make a buck. You happen to love this and think it's the best experience. You did two episodes on it. You know, you're telling me about how great it was, you know, for no other reason, then it just

was that great. So why not partner up with them, you know? Sure. Right. Yeah, you know, it's hard to find information about lifestyle events. It's not, you know, lots of people won't allow you to advertise what you do. There are social media platforms that are very sort of not sex positive. So I think when we do have positive experiences, sharing that information, just put

more information out there for, you know, people when there's not a lot available. Well, and even if you don't want to go on a cruise, there are other opportunities. There's a, there's some great resorts, one of which we go to a couple times, like at least once a year, desire, which is in Mexico, which is not that expensive, not quite as, not nearly as expensive as going on the big cruise. And that's a fantastic way to get started. Sure. Yeah, vacation is nice because it feels super compartmentalized.

And you're away. Yeah, if you just want to dip your toe in the water, if you are really afraid to meet people in your backyard, which I get for a lot of people that is not, you know, they want to keep those worlds really separate. Yeah. So vacation is a great way to explore that. And the nice thing about the cruise, if you, there's a huge just diversity on the ship. Yeah. People of all ages. People of all shapes and sizes.

people of all ethnicities. And so, you know, sometimes swing culture can be kind of like... Very heteronormal. It's super heteronormal and like white suburbanites. And so, you know, I loved that the cruise was a much more diverse population. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's getting so much better.

And, you know, the generation coming up is just so much more. tolerant and accepting of sexuality. So there's like so many more people who are coming in. Yeah. That's on us. Yeah. We're teaching our kids. Oh, that's right. You're welcome. Because I think each generation is getting more and more sex positive, more and more and more accepting of, of everyone. Yeah. Yeah. It's awesome, I think. What about does, so you brought up desire. That's a, that's in Mexico and that's like a resort, right? What goes down there? Is that like you, like, you said that that's another place to go if you want to just check out the scene because you don't have to participate. Is it the same thing like the cruise were or if you like go walk into the

hotel? It looks like a regular hotel, but they have like separate things going on. Like what makes it different than a regular resort? What's going down? Sure. So it is a very similar experience to any sort of adult only resort that you would go to. If you go to sandals, if you go to beach, well, not beaches, because that's kids. But at this resort, people actually talk to each other. Yes. So people are more friendly. I would say at desire, it's maybe between 50 and 75% of the people there would identify as lifestyle.

So there's a fair number of people who just want to be nude. So the big difference is there are spaces where you're allowed to be nude, mostly just the cool or the beach. but people hang out nude and talk to each other, and that becomes super normalized, super fast. But in terms of play, there's only one space that you're allowed to publicly play, which is a little, oh, I'm sorry, there's two. Because there's an area by the hot tub

where there's beds all around, Cabana beds all around the hot tub area, and those are usually fine to have sex. However, they don't want you to have sex in the hot tub. Yes, these don't have sex. No, don't do that. And you can have sex. There's usually a playroom in the dance area.

But I never see anybody ever in the playroom. No, in the dance area. No, most of the play will happen in bedroom. So it's not in your face at all. If people meet each other, and it's, you know, it's a very low-key sort of Caribbean Mexican-type resort atmosphere. So you get to know people over a couple of days. The conversation is really casual and fun.

And if you make a connection, you invite someone up to your room or they invite you up to their room. So that's where most of the play happens. And you can go there and not be lifestyle at all and just enjoy the fantastic conversation. Right. It's the same as the cruise. Nobody's going to know what you're doing. Nobody cares anyway.

Right. But the pool atmosphere is a lot of fun. There's the playmakers who are sort of the staff that kind of get the party going. There's always music. There's maybe some trivia. It's always sexy trivia or there's some kind of game that they bring people up to play. It's a lot of fun. It's very sexy.

You don't have to participate or you can. They never call people out and try to get you to come up if you don't want to. It's just fun. I feel like I did get called out for a pool game. I don't remember if you got pulled out. or if you volunteered, you were awesome. It was like the cutest thing I've ever seen her do. And I'm not kidding.

I was jumping up and down for her. So she had to do this thing where they had a raft. And it was her and two of the playmakers, right? Yeah. And they had to position themselves in as many sexual positions as possible in what, a minute? You had like 30 seconds. Oh, my God. It was hilarious because they were all closed.

So it wasn't anything vulgar about it. and they were jumping into these different positions, and then she would do this cute little look like, like she had this great little smile on her face, and she was having the most fun, because she'd pause in each position, and then they'd go to the next one. I think you won.

Oh, my God, that's hilarious. It was fun. It was fun. It was awesome. I mean, when you just kind of like drop your shame, it's really fun to, you know, we talk about sex as play part,

and I think some people find that super creepy, but it's fun to like tap into this joyful, not self-conscious energy. It's funny because you want to talk creepy. Sometimes I think about it as being like a five-year-old, right? When you were five, you didn't care what your hair was like. Right. You didn't care what you were wearing. You're just running around and having fun.

Yeah. It's a little bit like that. It is. Or just like the way that you can make friends so easily. And I watch my kids like, oh, I have a new best friend today. And that level of connection that kids can make with you, it's similar in the lifestyle. You just, you know, click with people. And it's not always about sex.

Sometimes it's about sex and the sex is fucking phenomenal. But it's often just like we share these values. If you go up to a group of people, they open up the circle to let you in so that you can talk to. Everybody wants to know who you are and what you're about. It's fantastic. Yeah. And do you guys, I forget. guys play separately or always together? Like if you're, you know, tell me some stories. Like if you

guys are at Desire, you're on the ship, did you guys, are you at the pool and maybe you see a guy and you're going to go sleep with them or do you have threesomes or is it always couple swaps? I mean, what do you, how do you guys partake in the festivities? So we're not a package deal. So we don't play at the foresham. Yeah, no, no, no, no, each of you separately. Right. Right. But there are, well, I say that because there are couples. that have a couples where it's the four of them and it's a package deal. Right. Okay.

So they only play as four people together. It's rare, but it happens. And sometimes people think that that's what we're about. Right. And that's not it at all. Mr. Kat and I are our own, you know, couple and they are their own couple. Sometimes we play together just the four of us. Sometimes we go and play with a couple by ourselves.

Sometimes they go and play with a couple by themselves. What's really awesome, I'm going to say that again because I hear you. hit the desk. Yeah, yeah. What's really awesome, what's really awesome, is when Am's and Mr. Am's and me and Mr. Kat both meet really sexy couples and we bring them all together. Wow. So there's an ain't fun.

That's been fun. Yeah. That's about the biggest sort of grouping orgy. You call it an orgy, but it's a proper orgy. But that was a lot of fun. Yeah. Oh, yeah. So we are all, we're free agents.

Yeah. Right. But no, but I also mean separately. like so you and your husband, each one of you separately answer this, do you guys play separately without your husband or is it always you guys together? And I mean, I would assume, I don't know that both of you all, you know, you have different rules, right? So I'm just wondering, do you have threesomes? Do you, will you go, Kat and Ams? Will you meet a guy and just go with the guy by himself and your husband's okay with that? Or like, how do you play specifically?

All of the above. Yeah. Yeah. Pretty much. We have our favorite. Like, but, oh, MFM threesome. Oh, MFM threesome. That's awesome. So two guys. Both of you love that. The best. Yeah. It's wonderful.

And, but, you know, we have, each of us have played separately with, with, with, um, you've had better luck with single guys. But, like, yeah, I have played separately with Mr. Kat. I played separately with Mr. Am. I've played separately without Mr. Am's or Mr. Cat. Sure. And vice versa. Yeah. But that's a newer thing, sort of us all playing separately. Like we started out playing separately with each other, like separate rooms or separate hotels, hotel rooms. And once we got

kind of comfortable with that, then we started talking about, well, what if we did, you know, what if we played separately with another couple? That would be okay. And so it's sort of, you know, like we said, it brings up these conversations where we talk about it. And if we're okay with that, okay, well, let's move in that direction. And if we go in a direction and we don't like it, then we say, well, that wasn't the best. Let's not do that again. Yeah. But we've pretty much just taking it step by step, having conversations along the way, making

the rules as we go. You know, I don't particularly want Mr. Kat to just go off all the time with just, you know, random women. Yeah. That's not what's happening. You know, it's within our community. It's someone I know. It's someone I like.

Yeah. So I think some people, their own. only seeking one thing. They really want a unicorn three son. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know that a lot. Yeah. And that's cool.

If that works for both of you, that's awesome. You know, I would say between the four of us, we have different things that are like our favorite. Yeah. I really like, you know, independent play and like, you know, romance and nice hotel rooms and all this stuff is like, you know, one of my absolute favorites. but like Mr. Ams really love super groupy stuff. And if we have the right group and that can be awesome and really fun too.

So I think if you just kind of take the stakes down a little bit and be like, yes, it's just sex. And, you know, let's try this. And if it's fun, cool. And if it wasn't fun, all right, let's not do that again. So we've tried a lot of different things and we're still open to a lot of different things. And that's what's so interesting about your podcast, right? And this is like the perfect wrap up because I want you to explain to people what you do on

there because I want them to check out your show because you do have like sexy homework where you guys are trying things out. And then you come on and talk about it, right? Like from squirting to anal play, you have. Right? Well, and some things that like I had never done. I did for the first time in our podcast. But, you know, we pick a topic.

And we do two parts. Part one is, you know, we talk about the topic in detail. We interview a subject matter expert. And we assign ourselves some sexy homework. Okay, let's try this. Let's see how we can explore this in our own way. And sometimes it's lifestyle stuff, like three sons or swing or cruise. Sometimes it's just exploring, I call it sensual self.

but it's like how your own body operates. So we have explored anal-fly. We have explored squirting. In fact, squirting went on to our season three because of the conversation that we had with you, Kathy. Can you learn the one that's like, I'm so curious about squirting. Yes, everybody is, I think, yeah. Yes. So thank you for that because it's been a very popular episode.

Yeah. So, you know, it came from this desire to like make sure that we are having. really phenomenal sex. Because I think once you open up your marriage and you're starting to have sex with people that you don't necessarily love, you don't want to have a bad experience. You don't want to just have vanilla sex with someone else. Right. That's not fun.

And women, I think, are not particularly good at knowing what they like sexually and then also communicating what they like sexually. Because we're not supposed to. Right. Yeah, we have so many mixed messages when it comes to sex. So the reason we set up the podcast this way is to explore a topic that we need to have some level of interest in it. Like I don't think we'll ever do water sports, for example, which is like playing with urine. Because there's no, neither one of us have any interest.

But for some of the topics, like impact play, I think I had a higher level of interest than cat did. But there's some level of curiosity. How do we set up an experience? going to be the most positive experience for us. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't. And we just kind of report back on what was great about it and what was not so great about it. Yeah, that's great. People should go check it up because you have three seasons. Saxy homework that you guys have done. They're going to hear a lot more specific stories. I mean, you have a couple episodes on the cruise, right? I mean, did you report back on what went down there and everything? They're going to get a lot

more information about that. I think you guys are great. I love what you're doing. I think it's really important. You know, sex positive, quote unquote, I think a lot of people don't know what the fuck that means, but I think you guys really represent that. And you represent like the lifestyle really well.

You know what I mean? I just think it's so great that here are two females that are coming on. You don't, you're not, you're not, you didn't say one dirty thing in this whole episode, quote unquote, right? So, Anne did say anal sex. I did say it. Well, and look, if that's disappointing to the listeners, come check out all of our hot tails.

That's right. We do. But that's what's so great is that it's, it doesn't have to be like, quote unquote, dirty. You know, this is what sex positive is. You guys are getting fucked and laid and all that dirty hot stuff. But this is a great representation of that. It's not, that's not all that it is.

You know what I mean? And I think that that's what's important. That's why your voice is so great. And everyone should check out your podcast. Thank you so much for coming back on. Thank you so much for having us. I will put links to everything in my description as well as a link to your first episode because people will get more information about your backstory there and then they could go

check out everything else there. Anyway, thank you guys. Thanks so much for calling in again. Thanks. Bye. Bye-bye. Hey, everyone. Thanks so much for tuning in to this week's episode.

If you want to follow the show, follow me at Strict Anonymous. on Instagram or Twitter that's at Strict Anonymous. If you are on YouTube, make sure to subscribe. I love YouTube as a platform for my show because people comment there and I try to reply back to every single person who post a comment. So even if you're not listening on YouTube and you want to talk about the show, go to my YouTube channel, subscribe, like and share my videos. It's strictly anonymous podcast.

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sign up for my Patreon. Patreon.com slash strictly anonymous podcast. That's patreon.com slash strictly anonymous podcast. The link is also in the description below. Thanks so much for listening. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available not only in paperback and e-book, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August

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