Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 491 - Fetish Fridays: Frank has a Foot Fetish

Episode Date: June 3, 2022

Frank has a foot fetish and he called in to talk all about it. When did he first notice feet? What exactly about them was he into? How did his parents react when they started to notice his fetish? Tune in to find out plus hear all about how his mom's friend use to allow him to massage her feet, the therapist he went to who showed him her feet, the foot parties he stared attending early on, what exactly went down at them and why they were good for his self esteem, became an outlet for him, his sleepy feet fantasy and what that actually entails, how he started paying for foot jobs and custom foot videos and what exactly went down in them, how he became friends with the doms who worked the parties and how they got him into bdsm, his friendships with the doms he met there, his addiction to buying the foot fetish videos and how that has led to many issues for himself, why he can't find a woman to date, what he can do about it and a whole lot more. **To see anonymous pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the strictly anonymous podcast. Strictly anonymous podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. The Craigslist is definitely like the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Singapore or Thailand. You can't not do it.

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Hey, welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast with Kathy. If you want to follow the Strictly Anonymous podcast on Instagram or Twitter, follow the show at Strict Anonymous. Every other Friday in the month, I post an episode about a specific fetish. And whenever I do, let me tell you, I get numerous emails afterwards from people with the same fetish. So, you know, I know that there are so many people out there with different specific fetishes. So that's why I created Fetish Fridays. I'll probably eventually start doing them once a week. Right now, they're every other Friday.

If you want to be a part of the show and talk about your fetish, you could always do that by sending me an email Strictly Anonymous podcast at gmail.com, or you could go to my website, Strictly Anonymous podcast and click on Be on the Show. Or you could just follow me on Instagram or Twitter. You could follow me at Strict Anonymous and you could DM me in any of those places. If you want to sign it for my Patreon, I have a couple tiers there that are dedicated to two specific fetishes. One being the Panias fetish and the other being the cross-dressing fetish. There are exclusive episodes there.

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strictly anonymous podcast. The link is in the description. Today I have on Frank. Now, Frank has a foot fetish. Now, if you would have asked me six years ago if I knew what a sleepy feet fantasy foot fetish thing was, I'd be like, what the fuck are you talking about? But I have heard about this before. And it's fascinating. If you don't know what the sleepy feet fantasy thing is, you're going to find out now.

And it is super interesting. I remember the first time, like I said, when I heard about it, I was like, what the fuck? And then it turns out that it is a common fantasy with a lot of guys that have a foot fetish. And he talks about why. I mean, he ties it into this whole like damsel in distress thing. But before we get into that, we talk about, you know, when he realized he had a foot fetish, you know, whose feet did he see early on and what was going down with them that made him realize like, oh, that stood out, you know, made him realize that he had this foot fetish.

Of course, it started when he was super young. We talk about that. We also talk about, you know, his parents sort of getting wind of it. chastising him about it and him feeling bad about it. And what he started to do in his high school years, he had a lot of social issues, but he found like this whole world at foot parties, actually. He went to foot parties when he was in high school. And that world, that place was very beneficial for him.

Like that was the one place he could go and feel really super accepted. And people treated him really nicely. He wasn't dating girls, like, but he was going to these footpoints. parties and this is where he was getting his attention from women, being treated well. And that became his outlet, you know, for his sleepy feet fantasies. He started to doing custom paying for custom videos and custom things. Like, because, you know, eventually he went to these places where you could even get your custom fantasies in real life.

He was also paying for videos, like I said. At some point he did start to see a therapist. and what his therapist did with her feet was pretty, I think, inappropriate and unprofessional. You're going to hear about that. You'll hear then about like all, like the kind of crossover from like the foot fetish models that he was hanging out with and how they got him into BDS and got him into going to dungeons. Apparently there was like a big crossover between the women who were letting him, you know, worship their feet. They were also being, they were also dominatrix.

And so they led him over to the dungeon where he eventually wound up. He talks about that. He talks about, you know, how he became friends with some of the dominatrix and those relationships. And then also, you know, we talk a lot about his struggles. He's having now finding a girl. He's been through depression. His interest in sleepy feet fantasies and videos did take a toll on him because he got kind of addicted to commissioning these videos being made from and spent a lot of fucking money on it. But ultimately, because I think it was him avoiding having to go out there and really set up a life outside of his fantasy life and get in a real relationship with a girl.

And he has that issue now. What he's really looking for is to wind up in a relationship with a girl that could accept his fetish and he could be who he is and have somebody accept him. And we talk a lot about that. Why he has those blocks? Why hasn't he met somebody? Where does he go to look for people? And why is he only finding escorts where he's going? You're going to have to listen to find out.

But it's a super interesting episode. If you have a foot fetish, you're going to totally be able to relate to him. So I'm going to be right back on with Frank. Hey, Frank. Sure. Hey, Frank. Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast.

How are you? I'm doing well today. How are you? I'm good. So you found my show because you're a foot fetish guy and you emailed me right in perfect timing because I just started a fetish. Friday's thing where I'm doing an airing episode that are at very specific fetishes to them,

stories about people's fetishes. Now, I had on a guy a long time ago that you found, he was like my first foot fetish guy tuna, but I also had on a guy who was super interesting. Maybe it was like last year or year before where he was like, it was a sleepy feet guy that you were like, oh, that really rang true to me and stuff. So, you know, I don't know. Like, let's talk about the fact that you have a foot fetish and why don't you explain it to me? Yeah, a matter of fact, I listened to the one about the sleepy foot fetish. That was the very first podcast of yours that I'd listened to because I was just kind of looking around that stuff about, you know, because I do that. I look at stuff, oh, let me see what I can find about, like, sleepy foot fetish.

Yeah. So I found that podcast. I found it actually several months ago, but I only listened to part of it. And then I just walked back to it the other day. So then I started going back to the other podcast. some of your older podcast, you know, I try to find, you know, a lot of stuff that we're talking about foot fetish. Now, after that, I listened to the one with tuna. Now, tuna especially, he, I, that, that big tuna is basically me growing up.

I'm 37 now. So I know exactly like how tuna's felt. I've been there before. And I know exactly how, uh, I forget his name, but with the sleepy foot finish, I, uh, Aaron, that's a name. Yeah. Yeah. Um, I, yeah, I, I, I, I, I. basically, you know, resonated with him too.

For me, you know, most foot fetish guys will say, you know, will say that, you know, their foot fetish started very young and I'm no different. However, I can remember having like my first foot fetish experiences and memories as early as four, possibly even three years old. Wow. So this goes way back for me. Most people it does. I feel like most people.

It's very rare. I think I spoke with someone recently who's like, their fetish didn't really sort of click in and they weren't aware of it until much later. But most of the time when I'm talking to guys that have a Panios fetish or anything specific that you would consider a fetish, they have these memories very early on. They feel like it was like, and like something sparked it because I've had discussions. Like, do you think that this is something that, you know, you were born with or it came up later? But most people that have a fetish have described it to me where they feel like it was

always in them and then something triggered it to sort of ignite, right? And then it grows. But it wasn't like it wasn't there and it was put on you. It was always there. And then you have these early memories of it being sparked and then it grows. So what were those early memories? Let's like start back there. It goes back to my mom, honestly. My first memory was probably with my mom. We were very poor growing up. So we lived in a, house with my mom's brother and sister, rest and peace, both of them and my grandma. So, you know, we were poor. We shared the same bed in the back room.

And I think I can remember seeing, you know, already liking her feet at that point. But the very first memory that really stuck out to me was I remember going to bed one night, just like I always did, you know, same bed with my mom. And then when I woke up, however, I was under the blankets. And the very first thing that I saw was my mom's feet. She was laying on her back. Her feet were side by side. And, you know, they were just kind of like, like just in repose, like relaxed, right? So I just remember just staring at that for, I don't even know how long, you know.

I remember, you know, I can even remember, like, the, the color of her polish that she was wearing that day. I, you know, I would try to, I was trying to just, like, examine her feet from all angles. You know, I went, like, to looking at the tops of her feet, the size of her feet, the bottoms of her feet, the soles. And, and I remember one of the things that stuck out to me was, um, the only thing I could see was her feet, you know, I was under the blanket and stuff. But the only thing I could see was her feet, so I could see, like, I couldn't see, like, the rest of her body because everything was kind of, like, you know, I was kind of, like,

everything else was covered up with the blanket. So I do remember, I think, trying to touch her feet, and then that's where her mom woke up. You know, and she just, I don't think she really thought anything of it. She's just kind of wondering how I got down there. You know, I was probably a very wild sleeper. I moved around a lot. So maybe that was just that. But that is probably my first truly concrete memory.

However, shortly after that, my mother had a friend of hers. I think she went to school. I only saw this, this, this woman once. And my mom at this time was probably about 26, 27. So, and I would have been about three or four years old, I think. So this young woman also shared the bed with us when she spent the night. She was a bigger woman. I remember Latina.

My mom is Latino, too. She's from Latin America. So my mom used to have to wake up. two in the morning every day to go to work. She used to work at a catering truck. So she'd have to go and she'd work long hours. So oftentimes I would be, you know, my grandmother would take care of me. So it was very, I was used to waking up whenever she woke up.

And I wasn't used to, like, sleeping in a bed by myself. So most of the time I would get out of bed. I ended up, you know, probably, you know, going to my grandma's bed or my aunt's bed. I never actually did much anything with their feet, just like my mom's feet was, the only one, like, in that household I would generally, like, have access to. And I'll get to that in a little bit. But with this woman, I don't even remember her name. I just remember what she looks like.

But we both woke up. We, she was tired. She wanted to try to get back to sleep, you know, but she was, you know, I guess me and her hit it off. So I just remember for whatever reason it got in my head that I wanted to go, you know, like, touch her feet, but play with her feet. and so I was doing that and my mom even walked in and kind of noticed it and she just kind of laughed like hey you know leave her alone let her sleep

so I'm like okay okay so I just I didn't want to stop so as like a compromise I went and actually just like covered her up with the blanket so that only her feet were sticking out you know and she kind of I remember she was asking oh what are you doing like oh I don't know I just kind of want to have the feet in front of

me and she fell asleep and I think eventually my mom made me stop but yeah I I don't remember how long that lasted but there's your sleepy feet you know uh wiring because of that woman oh yeah for sure yeah yeah so um as I get older you know I have um I have female cousins that are on my age. I have my mom has three sisters. So I don't think I really understood why I like feet. I just knew I liked them. And I remember just always looking at, you know, women's feet,

girls' feet when I was growing up. Sometimes not even when they're just showing their feet when they're wearing like sandals or something like that. But I would, you know, I would fantasize this. But I used to always especially fixate on women wearing boots. I used to love wearing, like, you know, seeing women wearing boots. and I kind of remember thinking, like, what their feet possibly look like? So I would find ways to play with, like, the feet of my cousins.

I would, you know, play with the feet of my ad sometimes. And most of this took place when they were awake, you know, and they knew what I was doing. You know, they were probably doing something else. And when you're a little kid, you know, they just let it, you know, just kind of let it happen. You know, I didn't think anything of it. But I think also maybe as an immigrant family, maybe they didn't understand. like what this was. No, I also think that, I mean, how old were you at that time?

I mean, starting from like four and then, you don't think, you don't, listen, no matter what your kid does at that age, there's no sexual connotation to it. So you don't think twice about it. You know, everything's cute. I mean, I'm grabbing my son's ass all the time. Like, it's the cutest thing I've ever seen. So there's like, it's a little boy. Like, you're not, there's nothing sexual going on.

So you would never think anything weird about anything, any kind of touching or anything that goes on because it's just you don't look at it that way. You know, you weren't even looking at that way. It was something, you know, you attached it later when you, you know, grew up to sexual stuff. But at that point, it wasn't even sexual for you. For some reason, you probably didn't even know why. You were just so interested in it. Yeah, I didn't know. You know, I do remember getting boners periodically.

but I didn't know what they meant. Right, exactly. I would probably just get boners just for the sake of, you know, just for getting boners. And, you know, they just happened. But the older I got, you know, once I start getting older and I'm still doing it, that's when my parents start kind of like, hey, you got to stop this. You're getting too old for this. Well, how did they know?

Well, they would just kind of like catch me because I'd be playing with my cousins and, you know, I'd walk in and, like, playing with their feet. sometimes I'd like pretend that they were I'd want to I'd ask him to pretend that to be asleep right and then that I would like sneak in and like play with their feet yeah that's a sleepy feet thing let me tell you I had never heard about that situation until that guy and it turns out that it is like a thing it was very fascinating to me it's um so and not only that but then I would sleep over at my cousin's houses and I would go, you know, in the middle of the night and, you know, try to like, you know, mess with their feet. And if I could, I would try to, like, cover them up.

So just their feet were sticking out because I just love the visual, just having, like, the feet sticking out and all to myself for no reason. That was, that's something that's always stuck with me. I remember one. We know the reason. It was because that lady that was sleeping at your house when you were little. You were hardwired for that visual. You wanted to get that back. recreating. You're recreating that scenario.

I would, as growing up, I would relive, you know, in my head all the times I would have somebody's feet. My mom, I remember, had a friend that came over from El Salvador once, and she would let me massage her feet. I remember I have like vivid memories of that. She was cool with it. And then my mom walked in and kind of put a stop to that. I think I was probably about eight. So, yeah, my, my parents, eventually started really chastising me about it,

making me feel ashamed about it. I remember they would like mock me for it sometimes as they got older. What would they say? I'm hearing an echo. It's a little weird. What would they say? I'm hearing an echo on my end, but not anymore.

What would they say? That's not normal. You're not doing the, you know, that's not what, you know, you shouldn't be so fixated on feet like that. You know, feet are dirt. feet are like this, feet are that. Right.

And they would just make me feel kind of awful about it. I don't think they understood that I was feeling awful about it, but also the more that I was, you know, that they were busting me for it, the more that I wanted to do it. So as I get older, we move into a new part of town. And then I have neighbors. I have like girls that are my age that live across the street from me and girls up the street that lived up the street for me.

And I also had a little brother and sister, but they were so much younger than me that these girls would like to come over and play with them because my brother and sister were cute babies at the time. I was already about like 10, 11 years old at this time. Yeah. And I would just try to find ways to see if I can, like, touch these girls' feet, you know, playing little games.

Not necessarily like competitive games, but sometimes just like, you know, like just playing like imagination. So since I'm, I was the only, guy and the older guy you know the older kid right there I was often the guy you know the playing the bad guy playing you know whatever so you know the big bad world for whatever so I would you know I would come up with games like oh I'm gonna catch like all of you you know and you know chase everybody and I would like you know use like a blanket like a net so I can like you know toss it over like somebody and I would only do that to like the the girls like the neighbor girls

and I remember one time we went over to, I was over at her house with my brother and sister, and I, you know, we were doing all that. You know, I was doing it in front of everybody too, because I think this part of me has always kind of wanted to, like, let people know about it,

but then I know that it's going to really like fuck me up at the, you know, at the end. But anyway, I'm getting ahead of myself. So I just remember very clearly, she had um she put her feet like around my face you know like coping my face and she just said something to the fact of oh you'd like my toes you love my toes don't you and I'm thinking myself yeah yeah I do and I think it was probably shortly after that what I remember having my first wet dream um definitely related to feet and that's kind of like oh crap you know feet make me

do this I'd already know I had you know I grew up in last Angeles, we had sex education. We had, you know, they were very old-fashioned sex education. Everybody's from the, yeah, everybody's from the 70. So I already knew what, you know, like the concept of like wet dreams, masturbation and stuff. So it was, you know, it connected me. Like, oh, wow, this really arouses me. And then, yeah, anytime I would think about feed, anytime I would think about some of my past experiences, I'd start getting hard. And I just kept wanting it to like relive that. So now, I was pretty. brazen about it, you know, so my parents would just keep, like, catching me and stuff. And

I got sent to therapy, um, in part mostly because of my, my dropping grades. But that was one thing I remember discussing when I did, one of my first therapist, uh, was about my fourth fetish. The first time I'd actually shared that with anybody. And it was so, you know, liberating for me. Um, and I think I even, I'm kind of ashamed to say this, but I even talk therapist into letting me show her, until letting me see her feet. And she showed you them? That's really inappropriate.

Yeah, I, you know. No, I'm really serious. That's really crossing a line for her. I mean, here she is, she has a client that is talking to her about being turned on by feet, and then he says, can I see your feet? I know it doesn't go simple as that, but like,

and she shows you them. So basically, she's getting you hard in therapy. I mean, don't you think that that's inappropriate? It's kind of like, listen, I met a guy once that I wanted to get on my podcast and he was really into feet. And he kept to ask me for feedpicks. And I'm like, am I going to send them to you? That's like no different than me sending you tits, pictures of my tits.

Now, I know for a regular person, a picture of a foot means nothing. But to a guy that has a foot fetish, it's like I'm setting you a pussy shot, you know, it's no different. So it is inappropriate. It is like, you know, so why would she show? show you her feeling? I don't know. I think because I kind of I remember just kind of like having to convince her

and berating her about it. And she just kind of relented. That's really inappropriate. I don't care what you said, what you did. I mean, I can't tell you how many times people on my show have asked me to send them picks of me in a panty hose or shit that they're into. Like I just don't do that because I don't cross that line

because it's professional. Like something that's very weird that she did that. And then so when she took, sorry to harp on this, but like when she took her shoes off and showed you her feet, like, what happened then? She just showed me her foot real quick. You know, she's like just plain, ordinary, regular looking foot. And then she put her sock and shoe back on. And that was it. That was it.

Did she ask you, like, how did you feel? Like, did she use it as like to get data from you? Like for the, I mean, what she? She sounds like a terrible therapist. Like, what did she say after? I don't understand. After she, you know, because I do remember asking her again, like at the next session, and she said no.

She said no. She said she didn't want to make me feel bad about liking feed, but, you know, she had a lot of regret about that. You know, she explained to me what I did, I shouldn't have done. Oh, God. Even now we're getting worse. Now she's like talking about how she feels bad. I got to tell you, you know, I believe. leave it therapy so much. And like anything else, you know, there's so many people that can't do

their job properly in a very small amount that can do it great, like whether you're getting your hair done or your taxes done or you're going to a therapist. Like most of the people suck at their job. Like 10% are good. And therapists, I have to say that, you know, so many of them are just like off their rocker. Like that's nutty for her to do, especially to you. She might have not really, you know, had a grasp of what this fetish meant at all, you know, because if she did, she would have never shown you her foot, I don't think. I don't know, maybe I'm wrong. I don't think she understood what foot fetish was because I had to, like, explain to her, like, you know, because she's never, I'd never heard of anything like that, you know. Right.

So she didn't really have a sense of it. And then she shows your foot and then she feels bad about it. So now she's not showing you her feet. Okay, let's move on. Sorry. Yeah. So, um, I basically. I basically go through high school.

I wasn't much of a guy that was popular with girls. So I didn't have, I didn't get to have like any feed experiences almost all through high school. So did you go like tuna to places and pay for girls? Is that where, because that's the part I want to get to, right? So like do you start? Is that what you do? Because that was his story too. You know, he was like you.

He couldn't really get any action. A lot of people. my listeners hated Tuna because he stuttered and he couldn't really talk. I felt for him because he was a guy that had a lot of issues like just socially and stuff, but he was like a nice person. I felt bad for him, but I remember my listeners being very frustrated with him. But he had no game and he couldn't get girls. And so he eventually went to like these places where he paid girls to like give the manicures and stuff and,

you know, play with their feet. Is that like, let's get into that kind of stuff. Is that what you eventually did since you weren't able to hook up with girls? Yeah, eventually I started doing that when I was about 21. Uh-huh. So this was in 2006. I went to a foot party. Yeah.

I don't know if you've heard of the fort. No. So a foot party was, is where, you know, there's different models or, you know, a lot of times Dominatrixes or other just, sometimes it's just regular old girls that are interested in making money by having guys, you know, do stuff with their feet. Everything is, you know, nothing evolving to the penis at all at these foot parties. So pure worship. So there's a bunch of guys around.

And I had fantasized about going on a foot party for a couple years at that point already. I didn't have the money to go because I figured this has to be super expensive. So the more I started looking into it, I started seeing what the cover charge was, how much it typically charged for, like, to do, you know, session with one of the girls over there.

So it would be $20 for 10 minutes, for instance, at a foot party. Mm-hmm. So what ultimately convinced me to go was there were a couple models over there that I recognized from some of the foot fetish sites that I remember that I discovered when I was in high school. So that was my outlet in high school. I specifically discovered a site that was literally called barefoot sleepy girls, like right there. Right. You know, it was just, it was everything that was like made, it was made for me. It was a bunch of, like, photo sets that they would shoot, you know, where there's, you know, where there's, you know,

be like portrayals of like uh of like women you know you know be falling asleep or getting like you know um you know getting made unconscious and then like somebody would come in and usually it would be like another girl and come in and just you know like have their feet and then there's also more like pornography and that involved too so they restrict the women naked um and it you know so this is around a time when i start discovering like other aspects of myself too i've always liked dams zone distress type stuff. I've always liked, um, I've always like, uh, the idea of, uh, uh, I fantasized about, you know, just having like girls under my control and stuff. But again, I just, I, I, I, I kept it fantasy. I always, I never wanted to, to actually do stuff like that in person. I never,

after, you know, after I became an adult, I never, you know, actually tried to get to somebody like feet while they were actually asleep. You know, anything I did after that was always with consent. I was young. I was probably the youngest guy going to that foot party, so I was a little bit popular because of that. And I was, it was a level of popularity,

the level of attention that I'd never gotten before my life, so it felt really good. Yeah, that makes sense. The models made me feel really good about myself. The guy that was running the show made me feel really good about myself, talking to these other things that have foot fetishes in person, not just on the internet. I'd already been, you know,

I'd already been on forums, you know, that about, you know, about my foot finish, you know, and stuff like that. And mostly just to look at pictures, learn a little bit, I wouldn't, I wouldn't rarely, you know, start many conversations there. But I remember once, uh, after going to that foot party, I remember just kind of like going in detail about everything. And I couldn't wait to go to the next one a couple months later. Um, around the same time, I, um, had also wanted to start, um, I, you know, I would,

I would consume, you know, foot fetish-based concept for myself that I would buy. And especially the only stuff I would ever buy for myself was stuff that happened to do with sleepy feet, with the sleepy foot fetish. But nothing ever seemed to like really kind of match up with like what I wanted because I also wanted that element of like just having the blanket and just seeing their feet. So I found a store and they're still around now. They're called, it's a family of stores that they have is called sweet southern feet. It's like amateur models. A guy is based in Kentucky.

So he just gets like, you know, I think it just started with the wife and some of the wife's friends. They were an older couple at that point in the 40s. And so they would get like, they'd start getting like other women and girls around their area to do foot fetish stuff. And they offered customs. So you could actually, a custom would be where you could kind of write in and, you know, tell them like what you want to see in your own, in your own clip. And it would make it for you for X amount of dollars. I always like the prices. Tell me the prices. How much, like, was a custom video? So he would charge me at the time for, like, 30 minutes. The first couple videos, 30 minutes for, like, 60 bucks, right?

I was able to afford that. So I was like, all right, cool. Then I wanted to go up, like, you know, make him a little bit longer for myself. Then, you know, then I was, you know, then it was like 40 minutes for 80 bucks. And then he had to raise his prices. So they look, man, you know, I got to, like, charge you this from now on. You know, because it's just, you know, I got, this is how I make, this is how I make the living. You know, this is part of, like, how we make our incomes. So we kind of had to, like, you know, we were kind of like losing money, so we had to. Right. So that was the price range.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So ultimately it just kind of settled on to, like, $100 for, like, a 30-minute clip. Just like one girl. And usually it was just be like either the guy himself that would be there and he'd be the one that would be, you know, sucking on their toes and stuff, stucking on their feet.

And it would be different scenarios that I would kind of like come up with my head. So sometimes it would be like a babysitter fantasy. Because I never had a babysitter that wasn't family up until, you know, ever. I was all, my mom never trusted like, you know, babysitters. She just, if I was going to, if she needed somebody to take care of me, she'll drop me off from my grandma's house. And that was that. But I always wanted like a babysitter.

I always dreamt about having like a babysitter growing up. So that was one. I'd have, you know, or you're like, sometimes like, you know, maybe like, like, you're, you're hanging out. There was one where it was, you know, he was hanging out like upstairs and like one of the, there's a party going on this year. Somebody walked up. She was drunk and then she passed out in front of them on the bed and then he like did his

thing. And I just come up with different scenarios and I was just doing, you know, I was ordering customs. It was like every couple months for a while. And I wasn't making that much money at this time either. And I was working graveyard. From almost my entire 20s, I worked graveyard. I have worked on weekends and I worked overnight. I never got to go out.

I never got to go out to clubs or night or bars to, like, go out and mingle and drink. So because I always had to work. It just, it would always try to pick up hours wherever I could. And I was working full time. I dropped out of college about when I was. was 19. So, and I was living by myself. So, um, I remember at one of the foot parties I went to, this was probably my third one. And I was, uh, I was doing a session with the lady that had, I'd been, you know, I'd met already a couple of times over there. So we have really good chemistry and

hit it awfully well. And she broached the subject of doing a private session with me. And I didn't know what that was. So she explains me, oh, so this would be just, you know, we would just kind of go on our own somewhere. Like, you can come over to my house or I'll come over to your house. And for, you know, for like an hour, you know, you can do like whatever. And I was like, oh, that sounds awesome. So I did, I did a full, you know, session with her. I grew down to her place.

She lived about an hour and a half from me. In LA traffic, you probably had like another half hour to that realistically. But, yeah, I was able to kind of just. do my fantasy with, you know, having a pretend to be asleep, covering her up with the blanket, having her feet smell. And that just opened the door, the next door for me, you know, going forward. And I would try the session as much as I could at that point within my means. I would have to save up money to go to food parties or do sessions.

Eventually, I stopped going to the foot party as much because it weren't as fulfilling for me to actually act out my whole, like, sleep. fantasy. Mm-hmm. And, um... So how did you get into that? Like, where did you... So the parties weren't fulfilling that.

I mean, did you ever wind up in a relationship? Not really. I never... I didn't really... I wasn't ever in a relationship when I was in my 20s. I hooked up, but that was just it. I hooked up a couple times, but that was it. In your whole life?

Are you a virgin? No, I'm not. Okay. Did you lose your virginity to an escort or like a girl, like, you know. Oh, it was just, it was normal. I was 19. I was at a party at kickback. Oh, okay. So you've been with, you've hooked up with girls. You just never had a relationship. Pretty much. Right. Yeah. I mean, I have my own difficulty talking with girls, but every once in a while, you know, I do, you know, I do well for myself. I'm not, I just, I struggle with confidence and talking to a lot of girls and about the only place where I feel. really confident about it is when I am, you know, in that world of like foot parties. So at first I was just a foot fetish, but there was a lot of crossover that I discovered at

the time with, you know, the bondage scenes. A lot of the women that would go to these foot parties were dominatrixes, local dominatrixes. Yeah, yeah. So there was one that I really like. And she didn't even know what I was into, but I was, you know, in the middle of the session with her. And she just kind of said, you know what? Hey, would you mind if I just pretended to be asleep right now? Well, yeah, yeah, of course.

And that was dope. And I, like, at this point, I'd already done private sessions. I, hey, I kind of, like, made my mind up, like, you know, do you see, like, guys, like, you know, wait for the food parties? Like, yeah, I work at, I work at this dungeon, you know, this commercial dungeon here in L.A. You know, you want to come to see me. You know, this is where you can reach them. This is, like, what it's called.

So I also started going to this dungeon. and would start sessioning with, you know, they have, you know, you have different levels of people that work there. So you have your, you have your mistresses, you have your, you have your switches, and you have your submissive. So I would play with the switches because I, they had like this weird rule over there that you couldn't do foot fetish stuff with like a submissive because the way they deemed it of foot worship was a very submissive thing. And it's never been submissive for me. For me, it's always been, you know, I'm kind of generally more in control. I'm generally the one that kind of leads the scene. Well, especially in a sleepy foot scenario.

I mean, there's nothing being submissive about that. That's, you know, right? That's not submissive. Yeah. Pretty much. So I would go in, you know, I would go in, you know, and I met up with this, with her. I think she was working as a switch at the time. And then she got promoted to mistress to Dominatrix.

And I would go there several times a year to this. dungeons, you can just call in, make an appointment, see he was on a schedule and show up. Usually I would only just session with the women on their profiles if they actually have feed pictures. Not everyone have feet pictures. And I was still going to the foot parties at that time because it was also a good place for me to kind of meet people that I felt like I would vibe with that I could go through private sessions with. But, you know, and I'm still ordering customs this whole time while I'm not really working, you know, a job that pays me a whole lot of money. So I'm constantly just, you know, living paycheck to paycheck at this

point. And it's like your crack cocaine. Yeah, exactly. At that time in my 20s, I wasn't, you know, I didn't drink that much. I only smoked like weed once in a while. So I didn't really have like any other kind of addiction. That was my, that was my addiction. It was, you know, I was giving myself too much of a good thing. But I've never regretted. it really. I've never regretted, you know, having those experiences. A lot of these women would let me take pictures or like, or, you know, back then for myself, if I'd ask them, you know, can I take pictures? I wanted to start taking pictures. Like, yeah, that's fine. Or so I'm like, no, I'd rather not you take pictures. Like, okay. So there's one time, though, I, um, I had one of

these girls that we kind of hit it off really well. We had a private session once. And she, after this one foot party, she came through to my, she came through to my apartment. And then she just ended up, like, sticking in my apartment for, like, two weeks. And I just had carte blanche access to her feet. She was cool with it. Did she charge you, or this was all free? This was all free because I ended up, I didn't know this, but she got kicked out of her house. So she was, she was in.

I figured there had to be something in it for her. Oh, that's absolutely what it was. yeah, she was living out of her car, and I remember telling her, like, look, why don't you just, you know, if you want to crash at my place, you know, it's cool. And especially, you know, until you get, like, back on your feet, you know, get to get a spot to live. And she ends up at my place for, like, a whole two weeks. At first, it was cool. You're like, oh, hell yeah. This is, you know, I got, like, feet whenever I want, you know, it was awesome.

You know, I could come home from work. She'd still be asleep and I can just, like, start, you know, like, messing with your feet whenever I wanted. but then she was just constantly like you know having me like take her places or you know like run you know like run errands with her

because she wasn't you know she didn't her car didn't run she just slept in the fucker so you know it just became clear to me that she was you know she was using me but you know so like after week like you know when is she going to leave um

you know and then she would kind of come through here and there after that. But, you know, I always got the sense that she was just kind of looking for, you know, she was just kind of a user, like a manipulator. Yeah, obviously. Yeah. So eventually I think I lost contact with her and I'm still doing foot parties. I still have my rotation of like regular girls that I want to do football parties and I'm still going to the dungeon.

But I know that you did say in your email besides like all of this stuff. that you do feel like you have some sort of spending issue and maybe you're not that happy in your life. Like, what is, what are those two things that you threw in the email all about? I've always struggled with, trying to, you know, get into a relationship. That's, I've always wanted to have a girlfriend,

have a relationship. I've always wanted to, like, you know, be open with my foot fetishap with her and, you know, all of my, all of my kids and stuff. I just I've always had just this tremendous anxiety when I try to approach burles out you know out in the wild as opposed to like in a in a in a in a fat in a foot fetish transactional setting yeah you should listen to okay this is another one I'm going to tell you to listen to even though it's not your kink or fetish he had we spoke a lot about this exact thing it was I think it was Justin is into milson gilts turned out and what I analyzed when I heard his story because he was he was just doing all this stuff with mils and gilts like it turned out like you know he would go to massage parlors and he would like fuck these ladies that were massaging him and then he would and then he would pay for escorts and this is all the interaction he had what women were in paid situations like that you know and to the point where he thought he was so into milts and gills but it was kind of like this is what he was doing and he really wanted a relationship exactly like you and i was like you know if you keep going over there like you're doing that because it's safe and it's easy and it's easy and you're and, you know, it's not uncomfortable for you. But all you're doing is avoiding, like, growing as a person and facing your fear,

which is to actually go up to a girl that isn't a mill for a gilf that you're not paying and try to nail her and do what you're doing with these people over there. And, you know, and I remember giving them the homework of, like, stop going over to those people and stop, like, having your cake over there so that you're kind of starving enough to the point where it pushes you to do, which is the thing, the thing that is most uncomfortable.

Because what happens is if you are getting your rocks off over there, you're not, you know, you're not uncomfortable enough or lonely enough to put yourself in the position, which is very difficult, which is try to, you know, hit on regular girls.

Do you know what I'm saying? Like one, like you have to get yourself to a point, like you have to hit bottom. You have, because what your feet, is rejection and all that anxiety and you never yeah and you're not going to want to put yourself in those that position because it's going to feel really bad so it was easier to do the other no so it's

easier to do the other thing but the only and and so what i always say and i'm trying to say it more succinct is that sometimes what you have to do the cutting off of all this other stuff why it would help is if you would get to the point where you're really lonely and really wanting this other thing. And that became so painful that the pain of facing your fear and being uncomfortable and, you know, really showing someone who they are, that pain would be less than the other pain. Then you would do it. But right now it's a lot, it's just, you know, you're not in that position. So you're, you know, your subconscious going to be like, why do I want to go over there and

face my fear when it's so fucking bad? You know what I'm saying? Yeah. And it's one of those things that in my 20s I was very cognizant of and it just felt like I couldn't do anything about it. I suffer from really bad depression and I probably didn't realize how bad my depression was in my 20s and I was just convinced myself, you know, that I, you know, that I was fine. You know, I was spending that much money. I wasn't, you know, doing that many sessions. I wasn't making, you know, I was making an adequate effort to actually go out and try to have like some bit of money. of a social life. Yeah. You know, try to make female friends and stuff. But it was just, you know, in hindsight, I can say this now because I'm 37 now. So I can think of this with a lot more clarity when I go back, but you don't think about

this stuff in your 20s. Totally. Yeah. I kind of came to the realization, you know, after I turned 30, when you're in your 20s, when you're a young dude, you know, guys are supposed to fuck up. That's how we learn. Exactly. Yeah.

We learn from that. No. I was, I never got in trouble in my 20s. I never got arrested. never been arrested, got very few tickets, didn't, you know,

didn't drink that much. I mean, I'd get drunk and stuff, but I'd always make sure that, you know, if I was drinking, you know, I'd have a driver

or I'd drink at home or I'd have a way to get back home safely. This is in the days before Uber. And so gradually, you know, I start discovering backpage, not so much Craigs,

but Backpage. That was my shit. Yeah. And I would find, that was like a new outlet for me. So now there's like, you know, I was able to kind of expand

my rotation of like girls that I could go session with. And I pretty much at this point was going to foot parties very infrequently. It was I had actually, and I had actually had developed a friendship with this dominatrix that I met at one of the foot parties. We hit it off pretty good. And I asked her about, oh, do you do private sessions? Like, yeah. And so I went to go to her for a private session.

It turns out that she lived like around the corner from one of my mom. lived. Right. Yeah. So, and I would see her like a lot because she was right there in my neighborhood. I would see her a lot. And we kind of, we got cool with it. We got cool with each other. And she was very comfortable with me. She liked me a lot. I think I was, I was probably like her youngest client. She always, she would always tell me that, you know, you're really, like, really nice and sweet. And eventually it was, eventually she, she stopped charging me, honestly. I would just kind of, she would ask me, oh, hey, um, could you

come over and like watch my dogs for the day and then you know give you like a free session yeah sounds good oh yeah that's right so she was like bartering with you switching things you were like a safe person not a creep yeah yeah it also helped that her her animals liked me like something

so she trusted me with her animals and she trusted me enough too where she had she had a husband but her husband would travel a lot So if you ever have new clients that she would see at her house, she had a little dungeon set up in a garage. There was a time when she asked me, you know, hey,

would you mind sitting just in the back room? And I'll give you like 20 bucks to sit there for like an hour. You know, if anything happens, just come through and just, you know, like you make your presence notice. But I was,

you know, I was kind of, you know, I'm a big dude. Oh, oh, interesting, right. So you guys,

she started using you for different things, like in helping everybody, like she had a trust with you somehow. That's actually cool. And what's great for you is you got paid. Or you got footsies, footsie things. Mm-hmm. It was great, yeah.

But she, and she introduced me more into the world of bondage. I remember sometimes hanging out with her, and she would be taking calls, and she would, like, talk to, like, a client, you know, oh, so, like, what are you going to? Like, what do you want to do? You know, blah, blah, blah. So it's going to be this, you know, so you're going to come here at this time. And then she'd hang up the phone, and she just looked at me, like, this dude's not going to show up. He's a jerk off.

and he's a flake and he's not going to come through you know let's go get dinner she peeled the curtain back from me on the scene a lot because I got you know I just got to see her very like ordinary stressful you know kind of neurotic life you know was that did that ruin it for you a little bit

I would think like sometimes you don't want to see the other side of thing no no no not at all actually no because I think it's because she was so like willing to share with me yeah and I was willing to share with her about my stuff. So she would tell me like, you know, she would even like, hey, you know, if you want to see like, you should go see like one of my friends, you know, she'll give you like a discount because like put in like good word for you.

Like, oh, sweet. But let's get back to your depression thing, okay? Like seriously, because we only have like 10 more minutes left. You know, like, where are you at now as far as like so you've done all this thing? You've been doing the same thing. You're now 37. You don't have a relationship. You would like one.

You know, you're still kind of depressed. Not depressed. I don't know. But like, where are you at right now with everything? With your foot fetish, with wanting or not wanting a relationship. Well, first off, I got a better, once I got a better job about seven years ago, then I just went nuts with doing foot sessions. And I spent so much that now I'm in debt.

Right. That was the spending thing. So let me tell you, that could be an addiction in itself, you know, having to, you know, that could be the same kind of a thing. Yeah. Like everyone thinks that addiction is like, oh, it's an alcoholic is the only addiction. Alcohol, drugs, sex, religion, you know, any of those things is all the same. Everyone chooses different things. But being an addict is like at the core always the same.

but like the choice of what you use whatever you become addicted to is different so it doesn't matter if someone doesn't drink it doesn't mean they're not an addict that's just an alcoholic that's like a that's what they chose to you know but you didn't choose that you don't alcohol wasn't your thing you know

purchasing is your thing buying too much stuff you know like that that could be an addiction no different than the alcoholic it's just that you're choosing something else it's the same shit yeah yeah yeah it was constant impulse. Yeah.

I would frequently go on back with me. I would see like a girl whose feet that I liked and like snap decision. I'd go like, you know, I'd hit her up and said something up for like later that week. Eventually you'd get into the point where I would just go to that dungeon and you could just show up to the dungeon sometimes or walk in. I would go to this dungeon sometimes and not even know like what this girl's feet look like and I would still go session with her because that was exciting to me. Right.

But my question to you, like I said, because I would. want to give you 10 minutes of some good therapy because I love addicts because I'm one and I've been a sober person for a very long time. But like, you know, have you cut anything out? Are you doing better with that kind of stuff? Because really what you need to do at some point is focus more on your life outside of the dungeon, outside of, you know, the internet world, outside of backpage and all those places of finding it and focus on your real life and what's in front of you to create a life something you know you're 37 your sperm is going to be swimming for a long time so you have time to get married have kids all those things are ahead of you and if that's what you want you got to start

paying attention and doing things to go out and and get that life for yourself it's not going to come your door you're going to have to go out and make it happen and tell yourself i'm ready for this and you have to and it's not a part listen your foot fetish is a foot fetish that's not an addiction That's your fetish and you will have to bring that up in your relationship. And I think that'll be fine. But like, you know, you have to make a decision that you want to go and do that. And I think that would help your depression and stuff. But you have to face that.

Are you starting to do that? Yeah, I'm in therapy right now. I see a therapist regularly. I've been seen it for the last couple of years. That's great. I took some time off a couple years ago when my depression got really bad. But there was a lot of other issues I was stacking up on top of each other as well as, you know, that craving for intimacy, for an intimate relationship. I felt really lonely.

I felt so down to myself, you know, low self-esteem. I couldn't, I just couldn't even, I couldn't find anything that I liked about myself for the longest time. And I would, you know, I would, and then work started getting really stressful for me. I work in a customer service field. So I just relentlessly began hating, you know, the people that were. you know, that would call me. I could imagine. It would make you fucking hate people for sure.

It was. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. So I had, I had this depressive break after a while after I got a demotion from a position that I had that actually kind of insulated me a little bit from having to speak to too many patients or customers. I got work in health care. So I got to it.

But no, listen. So you're seeing a therapist now, right? So, you know, hopefully she hasn't shown you her feet. Do you discuss your foot fetters? No, I mean, I have a male therapist. So he's kind of like a big brother figure. That's great, yeah. Yeah, but I, you know, I'm able to share about this stuff.

He doesn't understand it as well, but he gets it. You know, he says, you know, there's, you know, what you have is not so uncommon where you would feel like a freak. And I kind of, you know, I've come to terms with that too. it's just like getting you know getting to that point where I can actually get a girl to like you know just like start talking to me it has been difficult for me yeah that's but that's the stuff that you need to like start doing because you for 37 years or like for not 37 but like since the time when guys start going out and you know facing their fear of rejection and you know you've been avoiding it and you've been like kind of like a wuss right

because like it's you don't want to you're not facing your fear and you have to you have to start taking steps to dating girls are you on apps are you out there dating um here and there i um i work from home mostly these days because the pandemic and uh i've gotten out there a matter of fact i think one of your call it had told you about fat life i think it was one of your yeah some guys yeah so i i have a fat life account and i've done actually met some girls on Fetlight, you know, to that I, I, there's one that I went out with and we hooked up. And it was, you know, more than just fetish stuff. We actually kind of connected on a little bit level. The problem is that she lives really far from me. And her, our schedules just

wouldn't line up. So I haven't been able to see her as much as possible. We, we kind of, we had a connection. She liked hanging out with me. I like hanging out with her. And, you know, to my surprise, she was actually quite a bit younger than I was, you know, this was probably last year. So, she would have been about 25. I've never been with somebody as young as that before. I'd always try to get, you know, like try to like meet girls that were my age. But the older I've gotten, it's actually gotten a little bit easier for me. Because I get these girls that are like in the mid to late 20s are starting to find me more attractive now.

Or they're finding, you know, they're, they're more open to me just in general, just like on principle. and I feel like once they get to know me and once we start getting intimate, you know, at that point I feel like I can excel because I feel, you know, when we're in that like intimate space and you're kissing, you're cuddling, you're making out, you know, you're fucking eventually, I feel like I do a good job. I feel like, you know, they enjoy my time, they enjoy me. Where does it go wrong? Pardon? So where does it go wrong?

Like, why doesn't it ever go more than that? that? Why haven't you ever had a relationship with any of these girls that, you know, intimate with? Yeah, and it goes into just, you know, because this whole thing, the depression, my depression has, you know, as much due, like, other facets in my life. No, I'm not asking you about that. I'm asking you a specific question and you're avoiding it. What goes down with all these girls that you say, I've got younger girls nowadays, we get intimate and that's all fine, like they like it, everything's great. then what? And then do you stop calling them? Do you get too nervous? Do you overthink things? Like,

why don't any of those situations turn into something more? We just lose contact. And sometimes I feel like they do, you know, I'll try to call or try to get in touch with them and they don't respond back. And then that doesn't make me feel good. And I'll give up after a while. Yeah, well, of course, you're not going to stalk a girl that's not interested. Yeah, I'm not, I'm not, yeah, I'm not the kind of guy that's going to blow up anybody's phone or the calls or text. You know, but if I text once, I'll probably leave it alone for a couple days, you know, maybe like a week. And then, you know, try to hit them up, you know, real quick, you know, try, you know, on holidays, they'll say, oh, you know, like, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, stuff like that, you know. And I wouldn't get responses.

But, you know, I'd get responses from, you know, some of the, a lot of the women that I'd befriended and things. in the bondage in the fetish community. A lot of them are still my very good friend. Well, maybe they could hook you up with one of their friends. You never know. They might know somebody. You know, someone in that world. I mean, what does your future, like, I'm wrapping it up in two minutes.

What does your future look like for you? If you could just, like, you know, I had a magic wand and you could have everything that you wanted. Like, what would you have tomorrow if you could just have it all? Like, what does it look for you? Like, for you? Like, I'm going to be, I'm going to be perfectly honest. Yeah. I still want to have, you know, access to, like, several different kinds of feet because that excites me.

But I also just want to have, you know, a relationship with the woman or somebody that understands that. And, you know, and fully understand that particular need of mine, you know, and with it. But I only ever really desire to just be intimate and have, like, intercourse with just, like, one person at a time. I have to kind of really feel and connecting to that. I you know it's hard for me to get aroused if I'm not like super super super intimate like cuddling and stuff you know I I can't have a hard time getting aroused if there's like separation between it's when we're actually fucking you know so I have to like I prefer to have like like right on me you know I like to like hold her and hug her kiss her you know blowing her neck and stuff all that

stuff that's a stuff that excite me so you're looking for like tomorrow you would have a a full-time relationship it would be monogamous but it would be with a girl who's open-minded enough to accept what you're into and you would be able to still maybe see those other girls and get like your your foot fetish variety yeah yeah she in a perfect world she would be open to it she would you know encourage it well i have to tell you that that's so you can find that that's my whole point because i got to wrap it up you can find that you know um if that's what you're looking what you're looking for you know you're looking for an open-minded girl that wants to have a monogamous relationship that understands your kink and allows you to go and have, you know,

these little foot fetish experiences here and there, you know. And that definitely can happen. I would not, listen, I know that you're on Fet Life and that's cool. I just think that the pool on there is a lot smaller because, you know, not a lot of people are on there, especially women. I think it's more men. And, you know, listen, there's probably a lot of people on there, but they're all spread out, you know, all over the world. You know, you're looking for somebody, your real relationship, they're going to live, you know, 10 minutes away from you. You should be on regular apps. It's not like that far of a stretch that you can't find a girl in the normal world that will

be okay with your fetish that you could bring this up. Yeah, and that's been frustrating for me too because when I try the apps and I'm on plenty of fish right now, but when it seems like I'm engaging with somebody, you know, send a message and they start talking to you and then all of a sudden they just want to sell me shit. They want to like, oh, you should go check out my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, Yeah. Yeah, well, I don't know what girls you're talking to or what you're looking at, but maybe you're just like picking up all the escorts that are on there.

I mean, there's regular people. There's plenty. Listen to me, because I got to wrap this up. You know, there's plenty of regular girls on regular apps looking for regular guys to have regular monogamous relationships. That is the majority. Okay. Seriously, that's the majority.

If every time you're like, you know, you'd throw the line out, you get a, a scam, then your picker is off, okay? Or you're on the wrong site or you have the wrong profile. I don't know what it is. I can't get into it now because, you know, we're at an hour. But you have to just like, you know, look for the right kind of girl. I don't know why you're getting those scammer profiles. But on regular websites, there's real girls on there.

Yeah, it frustrates me when I have like other friends and family that are able to meet. girls on these same websites that I'm using and I'm just getting like bots and scammers and I just don't know what it is either what it says on your thing I wish we like you know I mean I could do a whole episode on that for guys that would probably be very beneficial but I don't know what it is but you need to look into that and you need to see why am I doing that maybe there's a subconscious block in you that you don't necessarily feel really ready yet and so you know because I always think most of the time, you know, what you really want is what you have in front of you, you know? So you have to keep, so I think you have to do everything in your power to really put it out there that you want a real relationship.

I think you have to keep changing up your profiles until you stop hitting those bots. You start finding the real girls and you start going out with them. And it's a numbers game. So you're going to get rejected. You're going to have people drop off. That's all normal stuff that normal people go through. Yeah. but you could find a normal girl.

Yeah, I've gotten, I've come to like terms with the rejection. I used to have much more of fear of rejection than I do now. Yeah, that's good. I think a lot of it just kind of, you know, just that perspective with age, because I look at things a lot differently now that I'm older. Yeah. So when I was 20s, when everything just feels more raw. Everything feels more, you know, it hits, it cuts deeper back now.

Yeah. Yeah. And especially now that I've been in therapy and I've kind of developed these skills to, you know, And I'm not saying I've fully developed, but I've been working on these skills to love myself more, to, you know, to be positive about myself and to have more confidence in myself. And I think it's been working.

The progress has been slow. But I feel, you know, I just, the biggest thing right now is just why I want to get my, I need to get my impulse of my spending under control. Yes, but that's, but you have to understand that that is, you know, but listen, you need to understand that that is taking you out of this regular life. That is a distraction so that you don't really have to get uncomfortable

and go make real relationships for the first time in your life. I think it's great that you're working on yourself. I think you're right on the fucking money when you say it's taken time because I always try to tell people it's not the movies. You don't change overnight but over time, over years if you work on yourself, you could morph into

a totally different person and that's what life's about and you're doing the right thing and you're still super young and to me as long as you're alive, like it's your job to be changing and growing and learning about yourself and, you know, always moving forward. And you are.

And right now to curb your spending and stuff, it's like you just got to fucking cut it out. And you have to stop doing it. And every time you get in that mode, you have to say, okay, like I have to focus back on my real life. And maybe it's because you're not happy there, but that's okay.

You have to sit through that unhappiness. What addicts are are people that don't feel comfortable with like negative emotions and they have to get out of them. the minute they arise. So stop running from your negative emotions, no matter what they are, start sitting through them and sitting in them, realize they're just feelings, and keep working on your life and working towards what you really want until you get it.

And you will get it because you are a nice guy. A lot of girls are looking for a nice guy that wants a monogamous relationship because a lot of guys don't fucking want that. Okay. So you could find somebody. You just got to stop spending, cut that off, kick that fucking habit, because it is an addiction and focus on getting what you want. And thank you so much for calling in and talking.

You do remind me a little bit of tuna because you have both things, not only his foot fetish, but also his social issues that he had, right? He had the same thing going on. That's why you felt really in sync with him. I wish I could have talked. I wish I could talk to tuna because I talked to a lot of footfetched guys on the internet. I'm going to find his email.

I'm going to see if I could find his email. And if I can, I will email him and see, because he used to, it's funny when you said, oh, I email these girls, like, happy birthday or whatever. Like, Tuna was one of those guests. Most guests, you know, they talk to me. They disappear, which is what's supposed to happen. But Tuna would, like, send me text messages, like, happy New Year. Like, he would do that kind of stuff all the time. And he always, like I said, I felt for him because he had such issues.

but so I know that I have a lot of emails from him so I'm going to see if I could get in touch with them and see if I could put you in touch with him okay because I think it's very helpful to have somebody that you are that is like-minded yeah I mean and I honestly love to like you know take more time to speak to you like maybe you know in the future because I have so much more

that I want to like express about my experiences and stuff you know and I want to just try to take you know as much positivity from it you know because it is a gig it is it is It always has been something that's made me feel really good. And I just kind of want to apply, like, a lot of that, like, what makes me feel good about that to, like, the rest of my life. Because I feel, you know, there's a lot of other things where I just feel miserable about.

You know, I don't typically do part twos unless, like, it's at the end of the year anymore because I just have a million episodes, a million people that want to call into my show. And I don't have enough fucking time to air them all. I have people I taped last year. You know, I'm taping three episodes today. and I already have the 30 that are already taped. You know, so, you know, I tape someone once and you don't, I don't know when I'm going to air this, but I won't need another one like this for a while because I don't like to, you know,

it's Fetish Friday. Is it going to be put fetishes all the time, you know? So I do offer consulting. They're like kind of like therapy sessions on the side. If you want to do that, it's fine. If not, we'll talk at the end of the year and we'll do an update story. Talk to me when you, like, had a date and you're starting a relationship. That would be a great update story.

For sure. Okay. And I'm going to look for tuna's information and try to put you in touch. All right. I appreciate you. All right. Thank you so much for calling in and sharing your story. It'll be on Fetish Fridays.

I don't know how soon I'm going to do them all the time. But right now it's like once or twice a month. But don't worry. It'll air. Thanks so much for calling in. I appreciate your time. Okay. Bye.

Bye. Okay. I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. is now available not only in paperback and e-book, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gangbang girl story. Like I said,

17 stories and they're all told in the third person and they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person and I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like Penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. 17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format, and finally, the audio book is available coming out August 25th, but you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not

disappoint, okay? There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me, okay? I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other, and that's what you get to do there. You could post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total strictly anonymous community, and you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord. It's private, like I said. All you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook or the paperback. send it to me at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com.

That's Strictly Anonymous Podcasts at gmail.com. And I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in. This is the Strictly Anonymous podcast. Hey, everyone. Thanks so much for tuning in to this week's episode. If you want to follow the show, follow me at Strict Anonymous on Instagram or Twitter.

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