Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 496 - Fetish Fridays: Scott is a Gay Dom who Hooks Up with Straight Subs

Episode Date: June 17, 2022

Scott has been a Gay dom to straight guys for years and he calls in to talk all about it. When did he realize he was into being dominant? When did he stat hooking up with guys? And when did he become a true dom? Tune in for all the details including his early hook-ups in high school with straight friends as well as married men he met on Craigslist, all the naughty hook-ups in college with straight guys on the gym showers, how he started humiliating the guys he met up with and all the kinky things he liked to do to them, where he started looking for submissive, how he vets them so they can mentally handle being a sub, the ex pro college athlete he met and exactly what he made him do out in public, the time he hooked up with a straight guy in a Lowes bathroom and what went down, how he navigates his relationships with gay men when he does date and a whole lot more. **To see anonymous pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. The Craigslist is definitely like the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Singapore or Thailand. You can't not do it.

The temptation is just too much. Your friend know that you're banging her or no? No, he has no idea. And anything goes. The motto of the show, let your freak flag fly. Probably the only good advice I'll ever give you is to rehire. your whips and chain. Here is your host, Kathy. Hey, welcome to the Strictly Anonymous Podcast with Kathy. If you want to follow the Strictly

Anonymous podcast on Instagram or Twitter, follow the show at Strict Anonymous. All in, share your naughty secret story life confession, whatever you want to call it, while remaining anonymous on my show. All you got to do is send me an email, Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com or go to my website, strictly anonymouspodcast.com and click on Beyond the show. Or just follow me at Strict Anonymous on Instagram or Twitter at Strict Anonymous and DM me there. I have people on who talk about their naughty secret lives, people who are just looking for, you know, advice, also people who want to confess something or maybe just talk about an interesting

life that you have. Anyway, if you are listening on a podcast app, make sure to subscribe to my show, hit five stars if you love my show, and write a review. I read all the reviews. I love the good ones. I got a couple recently, so I think people are listening to me. Buyers, Than, I never could read these fucking words, names, fake names of people that have Buyer Stan. Thank you so much. Ticky Tuesday, Robert Angelini, Big Daddy, all these fucking people.

Thank you for leaving your kind reviews. I read them while I love them. So there you go. Today I have on a guy named Scott. Now when Scott emailed me, I was super excited because he is a gay Dom who services tons of straight guys. He's been servicing straight guys

and getting straight guys to do what he fucking wants since high school. Okay? And now there's like a lot of married guys in there. and they were married guys in high school. How did that happen? Where did you meet these guys? You got to hear his whole story.

He's got such an interesting perspective. Because, you know, typically I'm talking to the married guy who's sucking dick on the side. This is the gay guy who that married guy is going to. And he's more specific than that in that he is a true dumb. He has that all set up. He started to, you know, be a dumb when he was younger. Not really on purpose. But, you know, when he realized that's what.

he really liked and that's what worked for him. He, that's what he became and that's who he is now. And he talks about all of his experiences, the progression from, you know, the high school kid who is getting the straight guys to blow him to coming out in college and then, you know, seeing even more married men and guys on the side and what he did with them exactly. And then when he, you know, got into his 30s and he made it like a real thing and how he meets them now and how many has in rotation and how you go about finding him, he does. give a shout out at the end to his email. I think he's a super interesting guy. You're going to feel

the same after you hear this episode. And I asked him to give a shout out and give his email because I feel like a lot of people who are going to find this episode because maybe they secretly like to blow guys and they're married or they want to be a dumb or some sort of version of that. You know, for those people, they're going to want to talk to him because he's just that guy. Because like I said, he's smart. He knows what's going on. He understands that guy and he offers a lot of advice. So it's a great episode filled with a lot of different things. It's something new. Like I said, that I haven't heard of before his perspective is great. If you want to contact him, wait to the end because he's going to leave his email, all the links to everything, like how to sign up for my show, how to contact,

how to sign up for my patron, all that kind of stuff is in the description. I'm going to get right back to it and be right on with Scott. Hi Scott. Welcome to the strictly anonymous podcast. How are you today? I'm doing well. Kathy, thank you so much for having me.

No, thank you for writing in. I always love when I get somebody who sends me an email about something that I've never had on my show before. That's hard to do now because I have almost 500 episodes. I've been doing my show for so long. Yeah. Are there a lot of homosexual,

Doms out there? I've heard from heterosexual ones many times. Yeah, I mean, in my experience, there are quite a few. I mean, I think that's one of the reasons why I wanted to call in. There's a whole ESM community, obviously, within the gay culture, you've got leather, and you've got all sorts of kinks and things like that. So, you know, I think it's a pretty healthy and pretty kinky BDSM community within, you know, quote unquote gay community. But the reason I called in particular is because I started listening to your show about six months ago. And I obviously really enjoy it, but I noticed I hear a lot on your show from submissive straight men or straight men, quote, straight men who are into, you know, being,

getting their sucking dick or getting fucked or things like that. And I realized I'd never really heard from the other perspective of maybe a man who's, you know, gay and dominant and maybe has a particular kink with sort of using straight men. Oh, I didn't even know that there was that, like that is a specific king. Yeah, you are the guy that all these guys that are calling in and talking about secretly going and hooking up with it. Scott, guys, this guy right here. Well, me or somebody like me, right? I thought it would be an interesting perspective to balance out what you hear on the other side.

Yeah, totally. So now, I know you started very young. Like, you know, I mean, why you start your story? It starts in high school. Yeah, I mean, yeah, it's funny because I grew up, you know, in the 90s. I'm in my late 30s at this point. And, you know, I clearly remember getting like a Newsweek magazine. This is how, you know, 90s I was that was talking about the rise of internet porn.

And there was like, on one picture, there was like a picture of a female porn star and a male porn star. And I just tried to, I remember like trying to look at the woman and just kept looking at the guy. Oh, yeah. And he used that to jerk off to for like, God, months. And it finally convinced my family to go ahead and get the internet because I'm that type of a 90s kid, right? Like, we didn't have the internet first. We had to convince my parents. The parents did it.

I mean, to this day, I don't think they know that I specifically did it so that I could look at porn. And it's all newsweek's fault, you know. I mean, I would know that now at my... Well, no, I would think video games are porn. You know, one or the other... I don't think video... Back then, the video games were a little hard on the internet. Yeah, you're right.

Right. And you have to wait for it to sort of download. So yeah. And, you know, when you get that ALL packet, this was like the Wild Wild West back then. So you had the AOL chat rooms and you could talk to people. And I grew up in a pretty hyper-masculent environment just in terms of like I was in a close-knit sports community. So I kind of always had this like ideal of a particular type of guy, right? I knew I was gay.

I was comfortable with that, but I always kind of liked the straight guy, right? That was sort of my ideal norm of a guy. So I would spend time on the internet finding guys, sometimes finding, you know, I looked like when I was younger, like 15 or 16, I looked like I was 19 or 20. So I could find, you know, older married guys who would be willing to please me, who would service. So, you know, and it was funny because I grew up in a house where you could basically see straight from the front door to the back door. Right. So there were times where, like, my mom would be pulling into the garage in the back door and I'm kicking out some guy in his 30s from the front door because he just finished blowing me.

Oh, wow. And I did that old. So you were even finding, it wasn't just, I was thinking like you're just, you know, finding other high school guys that, you know, are doing something on the deal. but you're even at that young age finding older men, married men. Yeah. How did you go about finding those guys? Oh, AOL chat.

I mean, it was, like I said, it was wild west of the internet back then, you know? And so, and again, I presented myself as being, so they weren't, it's not like these guys were seeking underage guys. I just presented myself as being 18 or over, and there was like no verification, you know, at that point. You weren't saying you're this young guy so that, you know, you got out of miles on your way, right.

I mean, I could have easily walked into a, bar at 14 and probably not have gotten carded. You know, like, I just kind of looked over. And so I don't want to paint this as a picture of these guys doing anything, you know, bad. So I would do that through high school. And we had this couch, and I still joke about this with my brother, where I basically, I finished looking up with this guy and there was a wet stain on the couch, and I flipped it over because I didn't want my parents to see it.

And there was another wet stain from where my brother was looking up with girls. Oh, my God, that's so funny. I remember calling him when he was in college I wasn't out to him but I was basically like you screwed me what am I going to do he stains on both side of the couch Yeah he got there first

Look at Yeah Yeah I was like dumb ass From there and you know High school I did experiment with some of the guys in high school Like there was this one guy who was The sort of typical dumb jock

I mean just a beautiful Beautiful body but was not the smartest guy In the face of the planet And we sort of aligned where Like he was a great sweet guy But it was, but it was. And we sort of hit this day where I was late to practice and he was leaving practice early. And we were just sort of chilling in the locker room.

And I remember he had these like gorgeous black Calvin briefs on. And I just went for it. And I just started asking him like, you know, have you ever done this? Have you ever done that? And, you know, we blew each other right then and there. Oh, my goodness. That's like a porn. That's like a porn scenario, right?

Like a hot jock and, you know. But wait, what did you say it in? Like when you started asking him? about like sex questions like do you have you ever hooked up with a man like that eventually led to that those kind of questioning yeah you know you start with because you're like 16 right so it's like have you had a hand job have you had a blow job you know was it with a girl you know and i don't remember the exact details and i think you know for the longest time the fantasy was that i were like quote-unquote seducing these guys but the truth of the matter is they you know they were

active participants everything was consensual they knew what they were doing but the fantasy was like that i was being the one was like hey have you done these things and so we ended up doing a lot. It was nice. It was good. And at that time, I wouldn't prophify myself as a dominant. I was definitely the aggressor and that I was probably always the one starting the conversation. But I don't, you know, it wasn't.

I was still figuring out who I was at that point sexually, you know. Let me ask you a question about that hot jock. Was it a one-time thing? Or were you guys like hooking up then afterwards all the time? So we hooked up for a little bit. And eventually stopped because, you know, I think that he was probably just experimented. and he realized it just wasn't for him.

Yeah. So we stopped, but we did quite a bit. Like, I remember, I forget, I tried to fuck him once without Loub, because I didn't know what Louvre was. Nor did I have access to it. Like, there was nowhere I could go and, like, just go into a CVS by Loub. And that did not work out well. But, you know, most of that happened in the area where we used to, you know, either the lock room or the facility where we were practicing. Mm-hmm.

Wow. Yeah, these things go down. Yeah. In high school. All the time. Yeah. But it was like my sort of first taste of like, oh, I can get someone to do something I want, right? And again, that's a little bit of a fantasy on my part because he obviously wanted it as well. And as soon as he didn't, we stopped. But, you know, in my head, it was like, oh, I can convince these straight guys to do these things that they wouldn't normally want to do, quote unquote. So that was kind of high school. I did that with like one other guy on my team. That was mostly just us getting drunk and high and having the same basic conversation. But he was a really good friend. And that was the first rule I learned is never do this with your friends because it basically ruined our friendship. Really? Why did he get freaked out about like what he did afterwards and then couldn't look you in the face?

Exactly. Right. Yeah, exactly. So, you know, as much as I enjoyed being able to convince him to do something, quote unquote, you know, I think it was the first lesson I learned is to never like, you know, do this for people that you actually consider a friend, you know? Right. Don't shit where you eat. Yeah. Yeah, exactly, right? That's a really good, a really good point. So, you know, at that point, still sort of say, figuring things out. Like, I didn't, again, I wouldn't say I became like a Dom, quote, unquote, until my late 20. But at this point, it was definitely this sort of like, oh, I can seduce straight guys. Right. Right. Like, I can have the job. I can make that happen if I work hard enough. So, I love the jock, by the way. The hot jock is my type, too. So I get it. Yeah. It is hard to, it's hard to complain. And later in my life, when I hit my 30s, I became that sort of Dom daddy. So I was getting the hot jock just on the other end, right, the college kid.

athlete or dancer, you know, in his like mid-20s. And so we can get to that later. But, you know, there's something to be said about someone who takes care of their body. Nothing wrong about that. So, yeah, we did that. ALO was sort of my thing through most of high school. You know, I've even, I've had situations where I had one guy who was like blowing me forever and he like offered me a hundred bucks the first time.

And I was like, no, like this is not about, like, I respect sex workers. Wait, did he approach you? Or was he one of your guys? We hooked up a few times and he started to get like really, really. needy about it. So sort of like, hey, like, hey, can you, are you free? Are you free? And, you know, he offered me a hundred bucks.

And again, I didn't take it. And I don't really think against sex workers. It's not that. It just wasn't where my head was at the time. But I just remember being like, oh, this is like a step above. Like, I only can I seduce these guys, but I can get them to do things for me if I find sort of the right guy who's sort of submissive enough or willing to, you know, make that effort. Right.

Pay you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, again, I've, you know, never really dabbled into, like, there's a whole world of, like, financial domination, especially on Twitter. I've never really dabbled in that. But, you know, there was just another click in my head of, like, oh, there are guys out there who are willing to do a lot, if told, you know what I'm saying. Yeah. And that, and then you just keep finding out that all that all of this stuff just keeps validating that that's, like, your thing. Exactly. Yeah. And, you know, again, I didn't have words for it at the time, you know, but I knew I could convince somebody to do. something and that's not just like, oh, we're having mutual sex, but also there are guys out there who might be willing to do other things for me if I can convince them appropriately.

So, and again, I use the word convince very loosely because this was all consensual, right? Everybody was, you know, fully aware of what they were doing. But yeah, that was high school. And it was, I'm not a lot. I had a lot of fun in high school, probably too much. But it was that time where you could go on aLL chat room and it was like, you know, it makes Craigless look almost, you know, childlike how easy it was to get laid in the 90s on an AOL chat room.

What about in high school? I mean, because, you know, people talk and stuff. Like, was it, like, word on the straight, Scott is the guy to go for some gay sex if you want some? Or was it, were you able to fly under the radar? It never happened. I don't know if people were talking about me, but I never heard any of it. I was pretty closeted in the high school.

Yeah, and I bet you that all the guys were, too, right? Yeah. Most people, I guess, maybe wouldn't want it to get out, so they'd keep it. And so probably there were so many guys sitting around hanging out with each other, and they all blew you and no one never fucking. about it. Yeah, I mean, probably. There was at least a handful. But I also went to a school that was pretty liberal. So they were definitely out and proud gay men. And in some ways, I really envied them. Like, I just didn't have the guts to be out in high school the way that they did. I didn't come out until

college. So, you know, like, if you were someone looking for an easy target, there were other men who were identified. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, I mean, it never happened. Like, I never had a, it's a fantasy, right? If someone were walking up to you and going, hey, I heard you have a great dick, I would like to suck it, but it never happened. But yeah, that was high school. I think it would be a little safer. I think if like you're a guy that wants to, you know, maybe a straight guy that just wants to see what it's like. You know, I think it'd be a little bit safer to go with the guy who's, you know, not out and proud than the guy that is.

Because maybe, you know, that guy also like you has the same need to keep it under wraps than the guy that's not. Yeah, I mean, I think that's definitely the logic of some of these guys. but I think honestly when you get into the realm, like I think there are guys who are just in the gay sex or gay sex, right? They might be bisexual or heterosexual. And for them, I think it's probably a little bit different because it's a little more transactional. But when you get into sort of like the need to submit, right,

when you're one of those straight guys who might present, like, you know, I've dominated CEOs, I've dominated athletes, Marines, right? Like when you're that type of guy, I think it's less about are they out or not and more about can they dominate me in the way that I want to be dominated, right? Can they exert that control over me? And so, you know, I have seen some very, quote, quote, feminine men who are dominant, control some of the most masculine men you've ever seen just because they have that attitude, right?

And they do that. And that's what you developed in high school. And now you're, now you leave high school and when does it become like, or just, just tell me the next steps, like the next part of the story. Yeah. So again, I don't think I ever really, like I did. identified as a dominant in college, but continued sort of like the same patterns. There was definitely like, you know, I went to a very large school and there was a great,

huge old locker room that was known for cruising. And that's kind of when I started to really get into the psychology of these guys, because these were like guys who, you know, were married and have kids. And this was, like, they would go to the gym and then they would be in the shower sucking. And, like, I would just like talk to these guys and they were just talk about their hunger for it. Their need to service. And that's when I really started to recognize that there's like a whole group of people out there who, you know, being submissive is really is pleasurable for them, not just as act of sucking a dick or getting caught.

You know what I'm saying? Right. Yeah. That is when I went from like, oh, I have the ability to convince people to do things to, oh, there are people out there who are actively looking for this type of relationship. So, you know, it did a lot of the typical college shit. So moved away from ALL, but, you know, it was just. doing the cruising in the locker room. There was a, I don't forget, there was a wrestler.

They were redoing the wrestling locker room, so they were using the main locker room, and there was just this wrestler, and I just never forget how nervous he was to actually get on his knees and actually suck the dick. But once he did, it was like, I mean, it was like every week, like clockwork. He was there ready to be used. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, you know, it's one of the things you like to see him about on campus with his girlfriend, and you just nodding and keep it moving.

So yeah, that was college. I had a really great experience. There was this one guy who, you know, wasn't quite a college Republican, but might as well have been just sort of fit that sort of mold. And I'll never forget that we started doing a lot of kinky things together. And he was the one who introduced me to things like piss play and things like. So he... Piss play?

Yeah, piss play. Yeah. So, like, he wanted to piss on a guy. And I was like, well, I'm not going to be the guy you get to piss on. Like, that's not going to happen. So he found the guy for us to piss on. We go over to his place. We're hanging out.

We're doing, you know, I think he was like blowing us both. And then finally gets the time where we need to piss. And it took me a while. Like, I had never pissed on another human before. Yeah. And I start pissing on this guy. And the other guy freaks out and runs away. And I'm like, you invited me.

Yeah. It was his, the guy who, it was his idea that wanted to do it. That's so funny. Yeah. He couldn't, he couldn't, he couldn't piss on the other guy. And I have a story about how that guy comes back around in my life. in my mid-20s when I actually ended up working with his wife and didn't know it into like a Christmas. Oh my God.

No way. Yeah. And the crazy part about it is she had an illness. It wasn't terminal, but it was pretty bad. And like I didn't work with her directly. She worked in another department. So you kind of always knew like Susie had this illness and that's such a shame. And then like leading up to the Christmas party, everyone was talking about it.

And then in the Christmas party walked in this guy. I used to fucking college. And, you know, all I can think about is him not being able to pit. on this other two while we were in college. Did he pretend like he didn't know you? Did you guys talk? Oh, yeah, totally.

Yeah, yeah. Like, and it was one of those things where, like, we knew of each other in college, but we didn't have a reason to be like, oh, we went to Penn and, you know, we went there together, you know? But yeah, that was college. It was a good time.

And, you know, again, I still don't think I really sort of understood what it was to be dominant at that point. I were still sort of figuring all of that out. There was definitely a group of guys both married and college age guys who, you know, they enjoyed servicing other men and I enjoyed having them service me. And so that kind of happened through most of college. Let me ask you a quick question. Sorry. Now, throughout this whole time, are you ever having

any kind of relationships with guys? Yeah, so I came out in like later in college and I did have relationships. So like it took me a while to get to a place where I was comfortable having sort of relationships with guys. And so I would start at, I started those probably right after college. I would date casually, but nothing sort of long-term or serious. Yeah. But yeah, I was dating guys at the tail end of college and throughout my mid-20s, yeah. But I wonder like with a guy like you who this does become, you know, something that sticks with you. Like is it something that you, is it this, do you play that same role in a relationship as well? It's a really great point. It took me a very long time to sort of figure that out. And I think the answer is it depends. I think that I don't think

there's like a one person for everyone, right? I think you like round and so I, you know, could, you know, if I'm going to be in a long term relationship, this PDS and stuff is going to have to play a role in my life. It doesn't have to play a role with my primary partner, right? Like, they don't have to be in it. They just have to be okay with me doing it. Being into it with other people. Yeah. Which, you know, I think you can, those rules are a little more flexible when you're gay. But, You can sort of make up the rules as you go along. So ideally I would love to find a primary partner who's a submissive, but it's not necessarily something I need to have in my life as long as they're okay with me

having other outlets. Right, right. Okay, interesting. Okay, go on. So now you're out of college. Yeah, working. You know, Craigslist is big at this point. So that's when we start to get a lot of like just, you know, easy access to married guys.

And it goes from, I think then it goes from less like, mutual pleasure to them just like servicing me right and them existing in my life for that and then you start to get into these guys who are like in the humiliation into you know really rough you know face fucking and all of those types of things that you know they didn't go back to their wives and kiss them and you know that's kind of like a hot like I'm not going to lie it's a hot scenario in my head right I won't apologize for it you know um so So, you know, I start to meet a bunch of guys who are like, no, I want it harder. I want it rougher.

Like, I want you to spit on me. I want you to call me all the bad word. And that becomes really hot for me, like, to know that you can exert that power, at least in that hour or two with that person, that you can exert that power. And it's a total exchange, right? Like, you know, all BDSM is high varsity level roleplay, right? So, you know, they're giving you that control and they can take it back at any point in time. But, you know, it's pretty hot.

And that's when it starts to be like, oh, there's a CEO of this company who likes to be humiliated to the point where he cries. And that's what we do. Like, we don't do anything sexual. We just do that. I just call him all sorts of horrible names. Wow. And call him how pathetic he is. No way.

And then he cries. Like, that's the type of stuff that starts to happen in my 20s. Wow. You know, I have a lot of guy friends that have been like sort of, you know, alpha, you know, and I'm so rude to those kind of guys. Because it's like, you know, and they love me. And they're like, my best. Fast friends, and it's probably because I abused them and they love it. To a certain extent, yeah.

I mean, look, I don't think it works on all of them, but there's definitely a group of guys who are out there in these high, powerful jobs that are playing a role, right? And who they are really is a submissive. The role they play is for the rest of the world, right? And if they had, you know, another way out, maybe they wouldn't be that person to the rest of the world, but, you know, society is what it does and it does what it does to us. so they think that's how they have to act. But there's a lot of guys, and I don't like the idea of like alpha versus beta.

Yeah. It's kind of toxic bullshit. But there are a lot of guys out there who think they have to be the alpha when really they want to be the beta. Right. So wait, so you would have like a CEO contact you. Now, were you like putting Craigslist ads out and they were finding you? I mean, how did you wind up with this guy who just wanted you to humiliate him over the phone or in person? I mean, how does that scenario go down?

I mean, so there's Craigslist. And yes, there was stuff that was going, I was putting out there and getting responses. And then there were guys who were putting their own stuff out there. That you were finding, yeah. Yeah. There used to be a site called Collar Me, which was a pretty good BDSM site. And so it got a little crazy. And I would find guys there.

And it's always a very specific type of guy of like, I'm not gay, right? I'm not gay. I just, I really like dick. And I think there's something to be said, right? Yeah. About that, a guy who likes to talk. Or I just, and this is, I think, a little. harder for people to understand. It's because

they're straight that the humiliation is better for them. Right. Interesting. Uh-huh. Yeah. Because in their normal life, they wouldn't be attracted to a man. But now they're servicing a man and there's that sort of, that disconnect between what they actually

want and what they think they deserve as a sub. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That makes sense. Yeah. So, I mean, there's all sorts. There's no one sort of archetype here. There's just a bunch. What is funny is that, because men are all egotists, right? Like, you know, I'll, like, be telling them about themselves just based on my past experiences. And I'm like, how do you get me so well? And I'm like, well, because all

dudes are just fucking dudes. Right? Like, something women have figured out a long time ago, we're not the smartest. Right. Not that complicated. Yeah. So what I think is so interesting is they all think that they're the only one that, like, has these feelings or has these concerns. And I'm like, I talked to a dude last week who was into the same exact thing you were into. But I think that that's It's great for people like that to know, I think, on some level, you know, and that's what the internet did really help people. And even my show, I mean, I can't tell you how many times I get people saying, like, oh, my God, thank so much for that episode. Like, I could totally relate. And it's probably a lot of these people are not people, you know, they're not telling anybody about this stuff.

So they do have that need. So you come into the picture and you're like, you know, you're here to say they all exist. You've seen many of them. Yeah. and the trick becomes getting them to admit that and then submit, right? Getting them to serve after they get past the idea of like, you're not a bad human being. This is just a part of your life you need to embrace.

Now let's embrace it. Let's have some fun. You know? Right. And I do use your show. Like I'll send some of your episodes to people and be like, listen, like this guy, he's exactly explaining what you were explaining to me last night. Oh, I love that.

Now you're going to be able to give them this episode. Here, this is you want to know more about me? There you go. There you go. I don't even either, like, write anything. You can just listen to this. Like, I think in my, like, late 20s is really when I really started to get into my role as, like, a dom. So, like, I think before that, it was like, yeah, I'm the aggressor, yeah, I'm the top.

You know, I might, you know, be forceful. But it wasn't until my late 20s that really sort of embrace my role of, like, there are men out there who like to submit I can play a role in their lives, you know, as they're dominant. And I really love playing with the perception between, like, what they look like to the rest of the world and who they are on the inside. And so, like, a good example of that is there was this former college athlete that I was talking to, and he was, you know, really sort of a little confused. We were both in our, like, mid-20s at this point. And we talked for months. We finally decided to meet up. And we talked about what the scenario would be.

But basically, we went to a bar. We got drunk. He couldn't talk to anybody but me. so it made it really awkward when the person would come over and want to order drinks or something like that. And here's this guy who looks like a Greek god, you know, sitting there significantly docilely, you know, at the table, you know, as we're talking. And I like hand him a dildo and some lube and I tell him to go into the bathroom and put it in. And so he does. And then he comes out and we're drinking some more.

And then there's a leather bar, which is a gay bar, gay sort of kinky bar, not too far from this other bar. And we end up going there. He'd never been to a gay bar before He's got a dildo in his ass And then, you know I make him stripped to his underwear and walk around Because it's the type of bar where you can do that Right, yeah, yeah

It's fully I know, I know, yeah You know, the entire time He had to go on his ass for at least two or three hours Wow At some point I like, you know Don't let him drink regular beer anymore I'm just pissing into his glass

And make him drink that He had never done pissed before And it was hot Like he really, really enjoyed it. I mean, he had to process it, but he really enjoyed it afterwards. It was an intense experience, probably one of my most intense ones. But, you know, just that play of like, this is who you present to the world versus I know who you really are. Right.

Like, I know what's in your beer bottle. Like, that started to really turn me on in my late 20s. And it, and it's like, do you find that it's like a release for them? Is that what it is? That they need to do that and come to you like that? Because it's that mass that they're wearing is just so, such. a burden. Yeah, I mean, hopefully sex is a release for everyone, right? But I do think that. But this is more than sex. It's like a whole, right? Yeah, you're not wrong. I do. And, you know, and sometimes

you'll, you'll see them cycle in and out of, you know, there are guys who are like all about it for a couple of months and then they sort of step away, you know, and the thing that I always sort of preach to them is like, look, this is probably not going away. You've been thinking about this for how many years, right? You're acting on it now. You act on it every couple of years. Like what you need to do is figure out a way to work this into your life in a way that is sane and, you know, acceptable to you. Yeah. So that you're not like getting to a point where you're so pent up. You're acting out of risk.

Right. And just doing dumb or dangerous things because you get those guys who like will go a year without sucking a dick. And then all of a sudden they're, you know, sucking every dick that they can find for two weeks and then they stop. And it's like, you know, there's nothing wrong with that. Suck as many dicks as you want. But it doesn't seem like it's a healthy pattern for you. Like there's got to be a better way to work this into your life, you know, in a more sane way. Right.

Because what you resist process. So if you're just putting it, you know, saying, I'm not going to do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. And then it's still there. It's not fucking going anywhere. And then, like you said, you do two weeks of it. It's like maybe you could, like you said, funnel it out in a more moderate way, healthy way, something more even.

So, sorry, I keep cutting you off and I really shouldn't because this is like you could probably just run this whole thing. No, you're right. Yeah, I think it's interesting because I, you know, I think what happens with me sometimes now I cannot interrupt a lot of people a lot of times, but I've never spoken to somebody with this exact topic. So I don't know. I'm always like I literally do my show because I'm just naturally curious. I never have any questions written down. So I'm actually want to know all these things. So that's why I interrupted. I feel like I'm interrupting you more than usual. Because I've just, you know, you're so specific and I have never had this topic. And I think it's really interesting because like you said, I typically. of talking to the person on the other side. So anyway, keep going with your story. Oh, no, I mean, the end of that story is we just went back into my place involved. I mean, the guy with the dildo and his ass, that guy, exactly, yeah. But I think that, you know, and I want to say, like, it's not that at this, like,

it's not that this is all I do, right? Like, I definitely have relationships with gay men. And I will be honest, like, it took me a while to get rid of my own internalized homophobia, right, and to see, you know, feminine men as sexual beings and things like that. But that's definitely coming to my repertoire in my life, you know, in the last couple of years. But it did take me a while to get there. But I don't want to make it sound like my sole pursuit is just like these ungetable straight guys. Right.

But I just, again, to me, it's just so interesting that you hear so many of them on your show, but, like, you don't get that flipped. Yeah. Yeah, that was my late 20s. You know, there is one story. It wasn't sexual, but I just think it's just sort of like apropos. by like how many of them there are out there in the world where I was at a job and I hired a woman and she was specifically in town because her husband was going to crad school in the city that I'm in.

And there were enough signals that I kind of picked up on the fact that he wasn't completely straight. And I remember we were at like a happy hour and I started playing footsies with him and he definitely was into it. And then he went to the bathroom and I went to the bathroom and I, you know, confronted him. And we didn't do anything sexual, but it was just so hot to like, like, say like, I think, see you. I know who you are. You can't hide from me, right? And, you know, it was a turn on it. And it wasn't like, it wasn't like, I'm going to tell her or anything like that. But it was definitely one of those moments of like, I know exactly who you are. Right. You're not going to be able to pretend to be this person that you're pretending to be everyone else, like everyone else at the party. Yeah. So by that point, you are kind of like a professional. You could spot those guys out. I'm sure he could probably pull the wool over most people's eyes,

but it's because you know that guy, quote, unquote. Now you met, right, when you see one. Exactly. Yeah. You know, and like, you know, there's always a chance that you're wrong, right? You have to play it carefully because you don't want to, you know, offend anybody or put anybody in an office position. But like this guy, you just kind of knew.

Like, I don't know how else to explain it. I just had like a gut instinct that he was, you know, a submissive. So that I think we're like as that story is happening as I'm starting to realize like oh like I can like this can be a thing right? Like I started to research more like the BDSM community and understand you know how what being a good and caring you know Dom is about right because it sounds really selfish it sounds like it's all about you but really you want to make sure that you're creating a safe space for these people to act out there their need to submit and I've never done it like professionally in terms of getting pain. but I definitely take it seriously. Like I don't take people on who I think aren't in a good mental state, right, because this is varsity level shit. You know, I try to avoid people who, you know,

aren't clear on what their limits are because, you know, what seems perfectly fine to you could be fucked up to that person, right? And then you could be traumatizing. So, you know, I'm very explicit of like, my favorites when they're like, oh, I don't have limits. I'm like, yeah, I was talking to a dude a couple of weeks ago who wants me to shit in the toilet and then he's going to lick the rim after I flush it. I'm pretty sure you have limits.

Right? Like, I'm pretty sure you have limits. Yeah. And I think you need to be clear about what they are because everyone's version of what is dirty is completely different. Yeah. You know, and then I hit my 30s and sort of fully realized as who I was. And an interesting thing happened is that, like, you know,

I became a quote-unquote daddy in the gay community, which is, again, not related to pedophilia. It's just a, it is a term that's used widely in the community to sort of describe older men, you know, know that younger guys might be into, younger legal guys might be into. I wouldn't be careful about that because I know you have a straight audience and they may not hear that term daddy a lot. Well, I guess maybe TikTok might be changing. Yeah, you know, I like to explain. No, but it's good to explain because a lot of people don't know.

They might hear it, but they still don't know what it means, you know? Exactly, yeah. So, you know, that's when I started to get like the dancer who was just this like beautiful kid. Now, he was gay, but he was into like wedgies and things like that. I mean, just if you want, you think athletes are hot, dances are the route to go when it comes to beautiful body. Oh, really? Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's just gorgeous. And he, like, his big thing was getting wedgied.

And that was, like, his thing. He loved to just be, you know, he would have tidy whiteies on and, like, you could put him up against a door knob. He had, like, special equipment for it. So it's like, I'm starting to get into, like, all of these different kinks. But I'm also starting to, like, find a group of, like, you know, mid-20s guys who, you know, are into older dominant men. at this point. And, you know, like there was a kid who ended up being a finance bro up at New York, but he was really big in a chastity.

So, like, his big thing is that he would, you know, have me have his key, and he would be going into work every day with all these high-powered finance bros, and nobody would know that he was locked up like that. Yeah, yeah. And to your point about, like, that build-up, those chastity guys are really into that, right? So that, like, I'm going to stay locked for as long as possible, and it's just going to the drive. Like he wouldn't suck a dick unless he'd been locked for at least a week.

Wow. He just wasn't into it until he'd been locked for that long. So it started to open my world to like, oh, there's all these different kinks out there that are super interesting. So did a lot of that in my 30s, started to get the gear, right? Started to really understand what it means, like do a lot of the research or what it means to be a good dom. And, you know, I think for a while I always struggled with the idea of like, well, these guys

have girlfriends or they're married or something like that but i honestly believe that it's like a if you do it right it can be a relatively healthy outlet for these guys to get something that they're never going to get in in their relationships you know yeah it's it's a hard kind of a thing because you know what do you say to the guy you know i think society has to change first before you're going to get people, you know, men being super open about that part of their life because I think it changed for women a long time ago. It changed in my lifetime for women. I remember when it became like cool for girls to hook up with girls. You know, now I had any girl sort of cobs to it, but I don't think that has happened yet. I think we're getting way closer to that for guys, but I still think there's

such a stigma attached. But I don't think, you know, once it became really popular for women to hook up with women, there was all these girls that were like, I can have a girl crash. And it was So you start to realize, like, wow, there's a lot more people out there that are not totally straight than we thought. But women, you know, and they tend to think that it doesn't, that's not the same with guys, you know? And I have, I've heard really ridiculous reasons for that. Like, no, it's more natural for a girl to be attracted to a girl, but not for a guy. It's like, are you fucking kidding me? Like, what's the difference?

Yeah, there's just as many men out there. It's just that it's not okay. So they're not out there saying, yeah, I got a guy crush. Which is not yet because it's not accepted. It's not accepted out there in society. Well, and it's funny because, like, look, I am very, obviously I'm a gay man, so I'm very pro-gay, right? Like, it's very liberal. But I think one of the things that we're just correcting for with, like, this younger generation is that after the gay liberation, you sort of had to make a choice.

Right? Because before there was no such thing as gay, like in quote-unquote polite society. It just didn't, it wasn't a thing people dealt. So once being gay became okay, then there was like, well, if I'm not gay, I have to be straight, right? And there was no sort of in between. I think that is just the thing in the last couple of years we're starting to see lighting up, which to be quite honest, was always a thing, right? Of course.

But there were always guys who were into different sort of scales of it. But I think, you know, we're just sort of course correcting where it's like, no, you could be a guy who did something in college and that's okay. Or you could be a guy who is only into this particular thing when it comes to being with a guy that doesn't make you gay, right? It makes you mostly straight. The other thing that I think is crazy, and I think this is just pure, like, sexism is, like, a lot of these guys are like, oh, my wife would never be into that. And I'm like, I don't know, man.

Like, you should maybe ask her. She might be kinkier than you think. You know? So that I think is always interesting that I think is going away now. Like, you know, people are talking about pegging on the internet like it's getting a Starbucks coffee, right? Are they? That's good to know. Yeah, I mean,

I think a lot of women episode. Yeah, I think a lot of women are, you know, much more confident in putting a strap on and fucking their husband

and knowing that doesn't make their husband gay, you know? Totally. I think that's what's the most important and that would be the block in the past. There was a lot of that,

like, oh, what does it mean? And like you said, so that's why I always say, like, you know, a lot of people my age, because I'm older than you are like, oh,

these fucking labels. And I'm just like, no, they're actually great because they really, they really help people realize like where they sort of fit in because when you just say there's two things like you said before like once the you know there was that gay liberation it's like okay maybe I could go over there but if you're not heterosexual or you're not gay then where what are you then you have to sort of cop to one and you can't all that stuff in the middle doesn't exist but it does and so those labels do help they help the straight guy that just wants to suck a dick sometimes because it's like fucking hot in the moment but it doesn't mean that you're gay and I think you know I had a guy come on once who was like, you know, he went viral on TikTok because that's exactly what he said.

And he explained it. And he's got a PhD in sexology. Like that's what he does, you know. And it really made a lot of sense because I can't tell you early on if you go listening in my episodes when I talk to some of these guys that were sucking dicks on the side. And I'd be like, no, you're by. Like you're by. Like I'm like you're by.

And I know if you like a, like that means you like men. And they'd be like, no, I don't like men. and I'd argue it. And it really, I learned as I went along that I was totally wrong. That, no, you can be completely heterosexual, but sometimes like to suck a dick. And then you can be heterosexual. Like, there's all different things you can be. And it's funny because I, because I came in your podcast late, it's interesting to mark your progression there.

Yeah. So I have listened to some of those older ones. And I'm like, oh, that's not right. And then like a couple more podcasts. I'm like, okay, she's getting it now. Yeah. I learned as I went along. Yeah.

I was totally wrong. I didn't know what bisexual meant. I didn't know, you know, but like you have to, I'm like a fucking old person that like grew up in these times where these things didn't exist. And I didn't know, you know, when I'm learning. And that's why I feel like older people should be open to these things because they would learn like I did that there are these different things. And I think it really helps people like those guys that are coming to you really grasp who they are and where they belong and where they fit in instead of thinking like, oh my God, they're so dirty or they're wrong or it's bad, you know, or it means. something different that they can't accept. And it took me a lot.

Like, you know, like, I've had guys who only just want to clean my house for me. Right? Oh, that's a good gut. I mean, look, I think I tell you right now, like, if you are a woman who can be an all dominant, just do it. Because you will have, like, there's so many guys out there who are willing to do just about anything for you. So by one piece of advice to that woman who's thinking about it is to go out there and do

it because, you know, there are a lot more straight men out there that are into this than there are, you know, by or gay or heterosexual men that are, my pool is much smaller than yours. So you could have a guy cleaning your apartment in an hour. Yeah, I had one of those that called in on the DL and he, you know, but it was a guy who really loved to be forced to clean someone's apartment. And I was kind of thinking in my head, like, oh my God, I like pay somebody to come to my house. Like, I could boss someone around to clean a. And yell at that one that didn't do a good job. I'm not bossy. Yeah, and he might end up paying you.

Yeah, that's exactly it. Is that it took me a while to realize that, like, okay, like, and then this was just something I had to learn because I'm, like, I'm a gold star gay, right? Like, I haven't even seen a vagina in my life. Yeah. Right? Like, so it took me a while to be like, this guy's not into you in the way that you're thinking,

and that's okay, right? Because you're still getting a clean house, you know? Right. And so that's when I say, like, no one is going to be anyone's one. You're never going to find a person that meets all of those, like, things that you're into and it's like all right this can be our relationship right like he can i can put my foot on his head while he's scrubbing my uh scrubbing my uh scrubbing my kitchen floor yeah yeah and that's what turns you on yeah for me it's the power exchange right again for me it's that that playing

with that idea of like this is the you spend your entire life like investing in this image of who you are but really behind the scenes is who you really are right like that and again that's what turns me on in this specific situation, right? Like, if I were in more of like a gay, gay male, gay male relationship, it'd be different, right? But it's like this idea that, like, you are living this life. And, you know, it just fascinates me that there's these men out there who have these desires. And yet, you know, for lack of a better words, don't have the balls to live their lives, you know, freely. Right.

And, you know, I'm not going to lie. It's some deep, you know, deep-rooted thing in me that just sort of like turns me on. And maybe it's because like those were like your early experiences with men. I mean, wasn't that the dynamic that started at all for you? So why wouldn't you be wired that way for that to be the top of the mountain? Because that's like who you were from the get-go. Yeah. So it's funny because I was just this morning listening to your most recent podcast and you asked the same question to that person.

I was like, is this, you know, is this your first sexual experience? And I have a question. Like, I don't know if it's, I don't know if it's a chicken or egg situation. Like, is it that I grew up in a situation where like, there was all these hyper masculine men around and everyone was sort of playing at being a quote unquote man, right? Because we're all young and didn't know what that meant. And that's what I was attracted to.

Or is it because I started having sex with those types of guys and that's how it developed, right? I don't know. I do think it might have been a little bit of the first one where it's like, no, I kind of grew up in a world where like hyper masculinity was valued a little bit more. And I think that sort of set my head. And I'm not saying that's good or bad. Yeah, it just it is. It just sort of set my head down that path.

And I had to unlearn, right, to have healthy gay relationships. I had to unlearn a lot of that. Oh, interesting. But it still exists. Yeah, it still existed me as a kink. I'm not going to lie, you know. Yeah, I wonder because I, you know, I always say like, I don't know anything, really. I'm just like, you know, when I give my opinions and I like to do that and I like to make

those, you know, analysis and bring it back to something. And I do think we wired ourselves something in certain ways. But I never think it's that simple because we, everyone's like. like a concoction, you know, so you could have had those kind of scenarios, but if you were, you know, I know you don't like to say beta alpha, but if you were a more submissive person, maybe you would have had those experience, but it wouldn't have connected, you wouldn't have connected so much. But like everything about you on top of those experience, then, you know, it became like your thing. So I think there's so much more to it. I would need like an expert here,

like Esther Perel. I love that. I mean, look, I think, I think it's so complicated to suit that makes up who we are sexually. And I do think, like, we talk a lot about sexuality, like gay versus straight. We talk a lot about gender and that being sort of fictional. But I do think there's also sort of like a sexual role sort of aspect to this, right? Like, I am the top or I am the bottom in the gay community, or I am the sub or I am the dom or whatever, whatever. Like, I think some of that also is, you know, nurture. Some of that is nature.

But, you know, I just think that we don't talk about this. that aspect of like, again, not loving the words, but for lack of a better word, like, are you a beta? Are you like, do you draw your pleasure in giving service or do you draw your pleasure in taking it? And I think there's a whole conversation about that. Let me ask you this now. When you meet guys, how are you meeting them now?

Like, do you have an ad somewhere? Do they, you know, and then my next question I want you to explain is like, what is that process of them, you know, you becoming their dom? Yeah. So I've gotten much more rigorous just out of win. learning, right? So like, for me, I'm at a point in my life where I don't necessarily just need the quick fuck, right? I really want to work on developing submissives and, you know, figuring out what really makes them work. So, you know, the normal places, you've got your double-ish,

you've got your grinder, sniffies, right? You've got those places. And the thing that I've learned that works for me is I just put it all out there. And I just say, these are the things I have tried before that interest me that I'm okay doing. I'm not saying we have to. We have to, you have to do those things, but those are things that I've tried that I'm interested in that I enjoy doing. And it quickly weeds out a lot of people, right? Because, like, there's a lot of people out there who think they're in the kinky stuff until you, like I said, tell them about the guy who wants to lick toilet. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And so it weeds out a lot of people because a lot of guys are like, oh, I'm just into rough sex. And I'm like, well, that's cool, but that's really not where I want to go. So that's the first step. The other step is I make them do tasks that sort of bring them out of. their sort of like jerk off gooning sort of mindset. Because when you're talking to a lot of these guys, especially if you're talking to them in real time,

you know, a good chunk of them don't have any attention of ever meeting, right? They're just trying to get themselves off real quick. So like, you know, do things like make them take pictures of themselves holding a piece of paper with today's date, right? Just something that's like, can you comply to a task that's not about you beating your meat while we talk, you know?

Right. And then from there, you know, I did have a questionnaire. At one point, I made them fill out. that could be useful or not, but I try to like ask a lot of questions, understand where exactly their mindset is and also understand where their commitment is, right? Because there's a guy who can do this once every six months and there's a guy who wants to do it every day. And you need to sort of understand what you as a Dom can commit to and what you're willing to deal with, right? I'm less willing to deal with the guy who like hits his jollies off and then I don't hear from them for a year, right? Those aren't the type of guys I want to deal with.

But I also don't want to deal with the guy who wants to be able for my house. every day. Yeah, someone in the middle is perfect. Yeah, balancing that out is helpful. And then honestly, it goes about what rule, what sort of itch do they scratch for me? Like, if I have a guy who's into X, do I need another guy who's into that, right? Like, if I have a guy who's into chastity and I'm working with him on his chastity, do I need another chastity guy?

Or do I need a guy to come scrub my kitchen floor? And again, like, I'm making it sound like this happens every day. It doesn't. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's really, really where my head is. So it starts, it does happen, right? Like, so most recently, I probably the closest thing I've ever had to, like, what I would call an affair. I had a guy in his early 30s who was married, and we would meet up about once a month in a hotel room.

But we were talk every day. I would make it do tasks. And it got to a point where I had to break it off just because it was less of a BDSM thing and more of, like, an affair situation. And I just didn't, yeah, I didn't feel comfortable with that, which I know is, you know, it is what it is. I'll just put it out there. The funny thing is the last time I saw him, this is a true story. I was coming home and we split the difference.

So I was out in the burbs and I had to go to the bathroom. So I was just go to this Lowe's. And I go in the Lowe's, I go to the bathroom with only the attention to P. And there was this hot guy in like his 50s who was obviously cruising, married. I left because I wasn't interested in hooking up at the Lowe's. He follows me out. He pulls his car up next to mine. He's like, what are you doing?

I'm like, what are you doing? And he's like, well, I'm looking to suck some dick. and we ended up going to a garage in like a parking lot not too far from that place and he blows me right then and there and it was like I hadn't done sort of like a random outdoor hookup like that yeah since college you know I have heard that home depot that's the thing so what's the difference Lowe's Home Depot same shit I think that there's like a thing going on in the bathroom at those places now yeah like I was much less risk averse in when I was younger right so like looking up in a bathroom those would have been been hot for me when I was in my 20s, but at this point, it's just not, you know, it's, I think you can get deeper, more fulfilling sexual experiences when you get, take time to learn the sub and understand, like, really what drives them. Yeah. Or it's just like fucking dude's face in a bathroom stall.

Now, again, no shame in your game if that's what you're into. It's just not where my head is right now. No, you're obviously are, you know, a part of your concoction. And I could just tell by the way you talk about everything is, you know, you, you like all those layers and the psychology behind it and everything. I mean, I think, listen, there are some people that,

you know, that's all they need and they could get off on that kind of quick, quicky kind of scenario. But for you, like I said, I could tell just by the way you talk and I could get in a conversation about stuff with you, your brain is,

you need more, you know, and that's why this whole thing exists for you, you know, and it's perfect. Yeah. And it took me a while to sort of like, understand what I needed from these guys versus what I would need from a man who was okay and you know

interested in their relationship and it took me a while to realize that those two things could exist and be okay you know in my life right I have this drive to work with these type of submissive men but they're never necessarily going to be my primary partner and that is okay I have places for that elsewhere in my life you know what I'm saying yeah that is interesting and that's no different than what you try to tell these guys that come that you know maybe it's the same thing for them like those married guys, like it's okay to be that person at home with your wife and that other part of you. You know, they could exist separate and they aren't separate things. Isn't that what you kind of explained to them as well? Yeah. You know, and that you have to own them both, right? You can't

pretend, like you said, you can't resist it and just hope it goes away. You have to sort of own them both. Otherwise, they're going to own you. Right. And I see that a lot where, again, you just see people going down these rabbit holes and I'm like, yeah, this is, you're not doing this in a way that makes sense, at least in my opinion, right? Yeah. that would be healthy for you. Because they're not, you know, out and open about it. And then so that's what really makes those kinds of scenarios worse. And then because they're not willing to maybe accept it.

When you have that acceptance, the flow is much better. And then, you know, I think it's just expressed in a more healthy way. But you could see it when it's not being expressed in a healthy way. So you know how to weed that out now in your process. That's never a perfect situation. But yeah, I tried. You're still learning. Yeah, because you get to places where people are trying things they've never tried before.

Yeah. And you don't know how they're going to respond to that. Mm-hmm. You know? So, like, I had one guy who thought he was really in the cock and ball torture because that's all he jerked off to. Yeah. And then we tried it, and he had an initial breakdown. Oh, right?

And, like, you know, you have to deal with that. If you're going to be a good Dom, you have to be able to be prepared to at least get that person to a place where they can leave your house and not be a mess. Oh, wow. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And so like that's kind of why I always like, I hate these Twitter doms to a certain extent because they're not providing the space for these people to try these things in a way that's healthy. But yeah, so I think your point about acceptance is important. I don't necessarily know if you need to be out about it. I'll leave people, make those decisions. But the ones I found who have been the most successful except that this is a part of their lives and, you know, try to find ways to express it. Yeah, exactly. Because maybe they're partnered with. I don't know. I mean, do you find that with these guys, you know, that you do develop some sort of relationship where, or is it maybe even a part of the subdom relationship where they do tell you about their, you know, feelings about what they do and their marriage and all that

kind of stuff? I mean, is there that kind of talk? Yeah, I mean, I think I always encourage people to be as open and honest with me as possible because I can't, I can't. Like you said, I think you hit the nail on the head. Part of it is for me getting in your head. You like that. You like understanding how you, yeah, how you work.

But also like, I don't think you can be a good Dom and not know at least some things about the person you're working with. Because, like you said, there's all sorts of landmines that if you're not aware of, you can sort of jump on. And, you know, this is, this is shit that will can fuck people off if it's done in a bad way. So I try to encourage people. And I try to look for people who are more open. And that's not necessarily that they're telling me everything. Like, I don't need social security numbers. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

At least open with where they are mentally and how they can address it, right? And, you know, some of them like to sort of go on to that edge of, like, almost involving their wives. Like, I've had guys who I've had, like, I'll give orders to, like, fuck their wives, but not actually orgasm, right? So, like, fake and orgasm. Or, like, only eat their wife out. And some of them are like, yeah, that's off limits. It's not a part of my life that I really want to be mixed. with this. And it works either way, just depending on the guy's willingness to, again,

acknowledge that this is a part of their life and not just something they do randomly and then they disconnect from. Right. How many guys do you typically have in rotation? I mean, it varies. Oof, is that a lot? Well, no, I try to keep it small, right? Like, I try to keep it to two to three that I'll be working with. And again, that's not every day or every week, but like two to three, at any given time in person and then a couple online if I have the time to do that. It really just depends on the type of submission they're into, right? Like how much time that I've taken my day,

how much time is it taking their day? Can we make that happen? Ideal world, I would have, you know, three to five that I work with regularly that each, you know, played a particular role in serving me, right? But, you know, that's the fantasy. How about your, like, your gay friends? How do they, and, you know, do you, do you, do you, you do they know about this lifestyle? And if they do, how do they feel about it? Are they, like, jealous because you're living that dream that, like,

a lot of gay guys have where, you know, you're fucking a lot of straight guys, you know, and because that is kind of like the stereotypical gay guys fantasy. Am I right? You know, like, you're not wrong. Yeah. But I would say this is like, you know, gay men have a lot of sex not because they're gay,

but because of they're men. Exactly. Yes. Totally. I stole that from one. someone, another podcaster who says that. But like, so my point is that, like, if a gay man wants to have sex with a quote unquote straight man, you're going to have sex with a quote, straight man.

So the guys that in my circle that want to do that, they're going to do it. I think that there probably aren't as many who are interested in the BDSM or the Dom Sub stuff the way that I am. So I don't think there's a lot of jealousy. I think that the guys who want to actively, you know, live that fantasy, they can do it to whatever extent that they want. And the guys don't, they're, fine like I have gay friends who like

they're not messing with anyone DL anyone straight like they own they prefer how proud people to have sex work yeah yeah that makes sense uh huh go in a lot of ways that's pretty healthy yeah right there's no judgment at least none that we've talked about

yeah but what I love about you and we're going to wrap it up now but I love what I love about you is that you know sometimes when I have like BDSM so somebody that's into BDSM come on and talk some people. I see a lot of comments on YouTube, you know,

so that's where I get this kind of information from. But like people, like you start sort of going after it as if it's like really dark or people that aren't into it. You really, you know, can't understand it. And I've had other doms on that. Maybe there was some sort of iffy question of whether like, not if it is it consensual, but like maybe this person seems a little dark or how, you know, is this healthy or not healthy?

There's that fine line, you know. But what I love about you is that you. I don't think that there's a question about that with you. Everything seems very clear, very consensual, very quote unquote healthy in the way that you do things and operate and exist in this. And I think that that's great because before we spoke, I'll be honest. Like I said, you know, you had these things like you're 14 and you're getting guys to

fucking blow you. Like I don't do any, you know, I didn't know you at the time. You know, I'm just getting on. I said it had a time. Like I don't do anything. that isn't consensual. Like I don't like to go there. I don't like to have those kinds of conversations.

I don't like fucking grooming or whatever those words or any kind of that kind of stuff on my show. I like it to be sex positive. And I do think that you, you know, present that way. And I think that that's great. That's a really great, you know, voice in the BDSM community for people to hear so they could know that it is not dark and can be done the right way. And this does go on, you know. And I just think it's great that you called it. and explain that.

No, thank you for that. I appreciate it. And I would just say that, like, I think, like all things, there are people who take advantage of it and make, you know, who are just shitty doms. They're just shitty doms. And unfortunately, the internet is full of them. And so I can get why some people can draw those conclusions.

I also think that there's a lot of sex negativity going on in that, right? And people just think, oh, Pissplay, that's dirty. And it's like, well, like, one word that you use a lot that I don't really love is deviant because it's like... Do I? That must have been early. No, that was early episodes. Sorry. It may have been like the last podcast.

I don't know. But my point is that like how many guys do I have to run in who like to get pissed on when it's no longer deviant? And it's just a part of sex that some people are into and some people are not. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I don't think I use that word.

I have to edit that out. But I don't really think, do I use that word a lot? I don't really look at things like that. Deviant I use it. I think you used it. the last particular podcast. I don't even think it was you. I think it was the guy who called it.

Oh, okay. Yeah. So, yeah, yeah. I don't want to, I'm not, I'm not putting this on you. Yeah. It was, my point is just like, you know, we call these things abnormal and yet you're sitting here and you're looking at all these, like, look at people's Google searches.

Yeah. Like, look at what porn people watch and you're like, is it abnormal or is it just that you're not comfortable doing it? Yeah, totally. And what's abnormal to one person or comfortable to the other? I mean, it's all very different. I always felt like, you know, I could be, you know, you know, I could be, you know, you know, I think like how you feel afterwards about what you do, you know, is the way you figure

out what's okay and right for you. And that line is different for everybody. And that's what's most important at the end of the day. You know, if I have a lot of things that I'm into and I do it in a way that is right for me, then it feels one way. But if I go out and do it in a different way and it feels dirty and wrong, you know, or something's not right afterwards. I don't feel right. Then that's not Right. You know, and I think that that's like I said different for everybody. Everybody makes up those kinds of situations. But that's what's most important. Like how do you feel afterwards? How, you know, how do you wrap your head around it? If it's a really negative thing and you feel like it's like you said like that guy is leaving your house and they're like a fucking mess and have a mental breakdown, then that was a place maybe they shouldn't have gone and you really try to make sure that doesn't happen and that you're really doing it the right way. And I, that's what I love about you like I said because I think like anything, You know, whether, like I think I said this recently, too, to someone else, like, whether you're getting your hair cut or you're getting your leg operated on or you're, you know, meeting with the Dom. Most people suck at their jobs, okay? That's the way that it goes, okay?

So most people, and any profession, whether even in this, okay, most, you know, you're going to, like you said, the Twitter is full of garbage. Well, you know, hair salons are full of people that can't fucking cut hair, okay? It's just across the board. So it's hard to find those people in the top 10%. But they exist. You're one of them. That's why I loved talking to you. I didn't know if you were going to be one of them before, but I wanted to make sure, you know, because it is a thing.

But I love your story. And I'm so glad that you called in and we're going to put it out there. Now, I don't know if you want to give a shout out like because I feel like there's going to be a lot of people that are going to find this episode and they're going to be like, I want to talk to Scott or I want to work with Scott or even just, you know, because I feel. I feel like you could maybe really help people psychologically with where they're at or what they're into, you know, and I just wonder, do you want to give a shout out that people could contact you or do you want to not open up that door? Because I don't know. I feel like if some people might be contacting me, like, how do I talk to Scott? Yeah, I mean, I could give you an email address. I don't have a problem with that. Okay, give it. Why don't you give it out? Because I feel like there will probably be a lot of people

in the DL that are going to want to contact you. It's easier if they contact you directly, you know? And I do, I think that, you know, that might be helpful for them and maybe for you. You get some clients, I don't know, but even, you know, so why don't you give out an email? N-E, so N-E-D-O-M, 259 at gmail.com. Okay, so N as in Nancy, E as in Edward, N-E? Yes, and then D as in Dick, O-M, 259. 259. All right, awesome.

I bet you you're going to get hit up for sure. Thank you so much for calling in. Well, thank you so much for having me. I really appreciate it. I loved it. Bye. All right. Bye. Hey, everyone. Thanks so much. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available not only in paperback and ebook, but you can pre-order the audiobook.

It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order. order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang being girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person. And they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person. And I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like Ben. How? letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. 17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read.

You could read one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format, and finally, the audiobook is available coming out August 25th. But you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format, or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint, okay? There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me, okay? I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other, and that's what you get to do there. You can post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be.

It's a total strictly anonymous community and you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord. It's private, like I said. All you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook or the paperback. Send it to me at strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. That's strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. And I will send you the link to Discord.

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