Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 498 - Billy Started Swinging in the Military and Continued When he Got Out

Episode Date: June 22, 2022

Billy started swinging in the military and he continued when he got out. How common was swinging in the military? Who turned him on to it? And what exactly went down while he was serving? Tune in to find out plus hear all about The couples he hooked up with while he was deployed, how he started swinging once he was back home, how he got his female roommate to join in, what they use to do with couples they both hooked up with, how and why she eventually couldn’t handle being int he lifestyle and how she ended things, how he eventually got married and how he felt when he watched his wife have sex with other guys, how they played solo and how he loved the reclaiming sex, how his wife started to stay out later and give him less details and how he found out she was cheating on him, who she was cheating on him with as well as how they tried to stay married and why it didn’t work and a whole lot more. To see anonymous pics of most of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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that kind of stuff really helps. Today I have on Billy. Now, Billy has a cautionary tale. Billy is a guy who started, you know, living an alternative lifestyle when he joined the military. He hooked up with couples there. And there was like this whole underground swinging thing that was going on that he explains and how there's a lot of roots to swinging in the military. You're going to have to listen to hear his take on that. And then when he got back to the States, he continued on swinging. He went to swingers clubs.

he was working there as a photographer because that's what he does and he joined the lifestyle. He started with his roommate, okay? Somehow his roommate got involved in his swinging and things went horribly bad with her, but they did some stuff with couples. He talks all about that. And then eventually he did wind up meeting a woman who he married and they were in the lifestyle as well. And things were working out. They were, you know, hooking up with couples, meeting up with them together.

He talked about some specific situations. But then they started solo dating with couples. And then she started to stay out a little bit later. And she didn't give him so many details. And then he started hearing conversations. And then he found out she was fucking lying. And she had a couple situations going down with other people that he did it now. Now, this is a story I've heard before.

why with somebody who is able to do whatever the fuck they want in a relationship wind up lying about anything like that when they don't have to it doesn't make sense but it makes sense right because aren't human beings just so fucking interesting and complicated and nothing makes sense and that's real life and that's what happened to this poor guy and that's where he's at I mean we leave it at the end with him like you know having together divorce from his wife because of what he found out. But he's still a young guy. I wonder what he's going to do in his next relationship

and how that's going to go and what he's going to do different to help his situation from not happening again. Because like I said, he messed up his roommate situation who was a girl and he messed up his marriage. So it's like a cautionary tale. It's interesting how he went from being like a solo person in the military to, you know,

hooking up with his roommate and his wife and all that kind of good stuff. So anyway, I'm going to be right back on with Billy. Hi, Billy. Welcome to the strictly anonymous podcast. How are you today? Good. How are you? I'm good. So Billy, you have a lot going on. A lot of different things have happened to you at different times in your life. And they're all, it's kind of like you're kind of like the first switch, quote unquote, that I've ever had because you started out early on and you're going to tell the story from the beginning where you were a. bull to many couples. Somehow you became the go-to guy. And it's interested, that's a whole interesting story. You're going to talk about that. And then like, you know, fast forward to now and you like to see

your partners with other people. So now you're kind of like on the other side. So I don't know where we should start with you, but, you know, maybe like when you got into the lifestyle and how and why you became the bull. It's almost like you were chosen. Is that correct? Yeah. Like, like, I don't even overset this story either, but I guess the best place to start is when I, when I joined the military. So I joined the military in the 90s and what kind of blow my mind about it is, is like, if you saw me, you wouldn't think of me as a bowl. I'm, I'm 5'5. I think I'm, I think I'm handsome, but I'm not like, you know, that alpha male, you know, super like military, you know, like a guy. And even in the military, like, when people see me, they'll size me up and they'll just like, I could be a target for, you know, being in front of, especially in an all-male environment or like, oh, you know, like,

I just don't register as like that old American guy who like football and trucks and fishing and stuff like that. I was very different in the military. I guess where it started was I had made some friends with a guy and his wife with Filipino. And they were always very kind of open about their public display of affection when I was hanging out of their house and like, you know, whenever we did stuff. And it just always like resonated with me. It's like a little too much for me. Like I don't know if you all are just really comfortable with each other if you're trying to get me involved. But I've never experienced anything like that being so young.

and I always got that vibe in them, but one day we were out getting drinks. And on the way home, he just says as casually as can be like, hey, Billy, my wife wants have sex with you. I don't always said verbatim, but, and he goes, isn't that right, honey? And she just says, yeah, we're just having a normal conversation. And I was just like, Florida. I was like, what do you mean? And so I thought they were playing a joke on me, so I didn't talk about it for a couple days,

but his wife was very attractive. And so I asked her, like, were you all serious about the whole, you know, like, having a sex thing? And she's like, yeah, it's fine. It's, you know, it's fine. And I actually had a girlfriend at the time, and I go, is this a chick? Are you putting me on to see if I'll be faithful? And she's like, I mean, you can find out for yourself or you can just go for it.

And so, of course, being a young man and horny all the time, I went for it. And it was a really weird dynamic because I would have sex with life often, you know, because again, young man. And actually really strengthen our friendship. Like, I wasn't, like, getting, like, an emotional relationship from her, but I was just getting, like, all my sexual needs met, like, on a regular basis. And I didn't have to be emotionally responsible for her. So it was just like a really kind of setup and like it made us all better friends. And like, yeah. So that was the like opening segue into it.

And in retrospect, like I learn now, now that I'm experiences, I didn't know, but swinging in the military is very, very common. It is? Yeah, I wouldn't have known that. Yeah, like swinging has lots of roots in the military. Because, I mean, you think about it like you have, you know, close, you know, work partners and friendships and brothers. And if you're going to deploy for six months and your wife can be alone, like, hey, can you, like,

like, keep my wife happy versus her, like, going out and finding somebody or cheating on you. I mean, granted, cheating happens all the time in the military, because it's just part of the beast. But, I mean, like, if you have that level of trust and you understand lifestyle, then swinging is ideal for the military because, like, you know, your wife's having a good time or, you know, she's taking care of her. In some cases, a lot of guys like to hear about it or get pictures of videos. You know, that's definitely a case that I wasn't aware of it. Yeah, you're right. I've heard of. I've had guys in the military that have hot wives and they've taken.

talked about that. So, okay, so now you're in the military and now you're starting to realize that the lifestyle exists because you're in it. I mean, you're with that couple, right? What happens next? Well, at that time, I didn't know lifestyle as a term. I didn't know what a bull was. I didn't know what a cuck was. I didn't know anything. I just knew that I was experiencing these things. So how I kind of cascaded was, so like I said, that wife was Filipino and where I was stationed at, like in the military, we have bases in Japan and the Philippines. And, and what? And What happens is these average-looking guys will go to the Philippines and bring back like a perfect 10 wife because you have to these women who want to come to America and Japan. It's not uncommon to see like all these wives, like super hot wives in military functions or they're working at the base exchange, which is like our grocery store, the base exchange.

So there's like always hot wives everywhere. And because English is in the first language, they usually group up and talk and like, you know, speak their language. And so I guess word kind of got out about me. so why I start talking otherwise and you know like what do you mean just from that no no no but like how does it go from you fucking that one guy's wife to word getting out about you I mean here you are

just having this like sort of private three something going down you know you got a girlfriend somewhere that doesn't know about it you know just that one couple how does it go from there to word on the street is this guy's down to fuck your wife oh well that's what I was saying his wife was talking to

like the other Filipino wives on base oh okay okay I miss that Why do I keep missing things that you say? Okay, go on. No, you're fine. I think you forget to tell parts of your story. Okay, go on. Well, I get excited to and I jump around a lot.

But I say this next part with caution because any guy who says, oh, yeah, I got a huge dick or like I'm great and bad. Oh, here we go. You're going to send me a dick pick next? Did you hear about that guy? No, I'm not going to send you on. Okay. But I guess for my size and, like, Satcher, I guess I'm blessed. I'm not saying like I'm a black guy or something, but it just, I guess, for being.

being a average-sized Asian, like, I guess I'm, you know, world-equipped. So I would have, like, husbands come talk to me, like, hey, we know that you interact with this couple, and we're wondering if you want, like, you know, have dinner and talk with us. And it's kind of like a weird segue to go into, but, you know, I get what they're saying. So, you know, I would, like, meet other people and talk to them. And, like, when that husband would deploy, you know, I would, like, go visit his wife. And the crazy thing about it, too, was being adopted, I don't know a lot about my own culture. So it actually made me happy because I was hanging out with other

like Polynesian people and kind of learning to cook and the food and stuff like that. So like we would actually have dinner or they would feed me and then you know like take her business, high five and go home and it was just like like the best years of my life honestly. Right. So word got out by that one girl she started telling her friends. Oh, this guy's

got a big dick and like I guess she knew the other people who were swinging and then I mean if you're deployed and you're someplace and then who's getting deployed someplace else? Like people get deployed from where you were and you're fucking their wives. I'm a little confused. Doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. I don't want to get stuck in those details. So how many couples did you hook up with?

So with that group on that base, it was like maybe like, I'll say seven or eight couples that they were actually a group and they all knew each other. So that was part of like how it helped spread too. Because they were usually as I saw a couple of days respect each other's privacy and you know, they're really good to keeping secrets. But also too, in the military, there is a strict UCMJ code. UCMJ is like military law that says, you know, you can't mess with people's wives.

But that's more in the context of like, don't see with someone's wife behind their back and there's a, yeah, but what I'm confused about is why are there all the wives with these people on the base? Like aren't, like isn't it normally like their girls are back home

in their country or their state and they're very far away? Like where, how are the guys and the wives in the same place? Okay, I'm sorry. I didn't know you didn't understand that context.

No. So this base out was state side. So state. side bases, or even overseas bases, like military base is like a contained city. We have grocery stores, they have bowling alleys, we have movie theaters, they have hospitals, we have... You get to bring your wives to there. I'm just asking. Yeah. You have your family there. It's like, it's just basically like a city with a fence around it. Oh, all right. Cool. That's interesting. Right. Okay. So that's why there's all these couples. So that base, you were with seven or eight couples,

then what happens? So from that base, if someone has to go somewhere else, say like Germany or Saudi Arabia, and that's when they deploy and they'll be gone for like three to six months at a time. And so their family stays back at their home base. No, I get it. I don't need that information anymore. We're going back to your story. Doesn't matter. We have a lot to talk about it.

These useless facts don't matter. I was just curious because I didn't understand. So go on. So now you start with the fact that you're like seven or eight couples on that base. So there was one particular couple that I found that I favored the most. And we were spending all our time together. you know, I would like, you know, go over to their house for dinner every night, or I would have to his wife come over and visit me constantly.

And I guess where that kind of went was when I got out of the Air Force, I moved to Texas and we kind of missed each other and we always want to see each other. So they would drive and come see me, you know, it was a three or four hour drive. And so I would basically drive down and, you know, give me his wife, or I would go visit him, they'd come to him up and I would like, fuck his wife in the back seat of the car, while he's driving and watching in the mirror. Actually, one time a truck saw us and started honking at us, so I had to stop.

So living in Dallas, they were coming to see me often, and I had just gotten a new roommate, and she was Japanese also because I was making Asian friends here. Her English wasn't very good, so I was always, like, explaining, like, phrases and jokes and, like, slang to her, so she would understand it. And one time this couple came to visit me, and his wife wanted to play, but I couldn't explain why his wife and I were going to go in a room and he was going to wait outside and I couldn't figure out how to like tell her

so I just pulled her aside I was like hey this is kind of like a lifestyle that I'm from and his wife and I're going to go do this one thing if you want I mean you don't have to you can play with him as well and she kind of looks to be weird and thought about it and but she just said yes like it wasn't like a big deal what I just asked her so um okay is this bullshit this story

come on so this is like a porn so you bring your married couple friends come over you got a female hot roomie and then you're going to fuck the woman and then you tell her and she's like yeah I'm down to fuck that guy and then she and everyone's having an orgy. Come on. Well, the thing about the thing about me when I like to play is I don't I don't really like audiences. I mean, I've done it before. Yeah.

But I don't like having people in the room. So that's why I was trying to like nudge her to like go play with him. And she did. She said yes. So from that point on, we were we were playing as like couples couples. So they would come visit us or I would go visit them. But their family kind of lived together

So if we would go to their house We would have to play in the same room But like one of us would be on the floor And the others would be on the bed Because like again I'm only being that close to Close proximity to other people I mean some people like to play

And they're okay with guys Or crossing swords Me not so much I'm not I wouldn't say I'm homophobic I just don't like a guy Getting sweating breathing that close to me Because it distracts me

I like to like fully focus on my partner Eventually my friend's wife got pregnant So we kind of like slowed down on the plane But we were still visiting them and the husband one time wanted to play with my roommates but there was like family around and I was like it's not a good idea this is no it's not a good idea but somehow he was able to like sneak off with her but he took way too long he was gone for like 45 minutes and then the family

caught them in the bathroom and it was like a terrible like terrible terrible event and people started fighting and arguing and like because they knew what they were doing and their family didn't know they were so they basically just thought that the husband was literally cheating on his wife right there in the house with people in the house. So we were kicked out immediately and we drove three hours home, just left our stuff there, just went to your home, and we didn't speak to them for a very long time. It was very ugly.

Okay. But then with my roommate, we were starting to, you know, meet other couples. And I mentioned before I'm a photographer. So I had gotten a job doing club photography, and then that landed me doing work at the Swingers Club here in the city that I live in. So I was starting to meet other couples through this and doing this job. But what do you mean? They have those swinger clubs that have like photographers coming and are taking pictures of everyone.

Is everyone cool with that? So privacy is a huge issue here. So really what it is is like my job is to take pictures of venue and events, but not necessarily people or actions. Does that make sense? Yeah. Like with anything social media, you want to promote your business and show that like, hey, this is what we have and what we do. And we have lots of people come to parties. But no, I wouldn't take pictures.

of anyone doing anything like intimate or like that would invade their privacy. No. So what were you taking pictures of at the at the Swingers Club? I would take pictures of, you know, the venue. And if we had events, I would take generic pictures of people like dancing or having good time, you know, and if someone's face was like clearly in the picture, you know, either we would blur it out or I would ask them, do you have to send a, you know, post this picture.

Right, right. But we just want to show the place, you know, traffic and populated and that, you know, you can come here and have a good time and it's welcome and inviting to everyone. But I had a really bad experience there too. So one evening I was doing my work, and I had two cameras on me. And I set a camera down so I can get a drink of water. I unscrewed my water cap, drank, and put my water back down. And within that span of, I would say, five seconds, my camera was gone.

And I went to the front door, and I asked them, I was like, hey, I just had a camera get lifted. That's about $8,000 for the glass. can you please keep it on people, you know, leaving or if they have, like, a large bag or something. And the management basically said, we're not going to do that to our customers, you know, like, we're not going to, like, ask them to do that or anything. Like, they basically put priority of customers over what I just lost.

So I was pretty upset. So I quit that night and never went back. Okay. What does that have to do with the story? Sorry, I have really bad ADD. So with the story, what I was saying is, I was meeting other couples and swingers and... No, but I mean, like, losing your camera.

I mean, there was nothing on your camera, right? because it was just pictures of people dancing and stuff. You weren't allowed to take explicit photos. So, you know, there was, like, was it, you know, an issue of your camera being stolen because there was something on that? Is that? Or why did you tell that story? That's what I was just wondering.

I'm not sure. I was just kind of randomly going through my memories. So it's like my lifestyle stuff. But through the club, I was meeting other couples. And I was making friends with the couples or meeting, you know, people. And I also, I feel like I got a sense. like if I was out in like the real world, I could tell. Like if I see couples and I see them interact or the way they dress, I could tell

it, I can tell it for a swinger. And I don't mean to stereotype everybody, but a lot of times, you know, it'll be older couple, but they'll dress like they're younger or they're just like, you know, very, very flashy. And like, I also personally find, too, that people in the lifestyle are like higher educated or they make, you know, better money. That's, that's my opinion from the groups that I've been in. Right.

Okay. But what goes down? I mean, do you consider yourself in the lifestyle? Yes, ma'am. Okay. So now when you're at that Swingers Club, you're just like a photographer. When do you start going to clubs yourself and becoming in the lifestyle? Like, how did you get in the lifestyle?

Okay. So I had my roommate, my Japanese roommate, after we had a following out with my military friends that were married, we didn't speak to them for a while. So we got on a couple websites. We got on an adult friend finder, and we got on SDC Swingers Day Club. Those are the two popular sites here. and we started meeting up with other couples. The first couple we met, they felt a little off, but it was our first, like, time using these sites, so we weren't sure how to navigate it or talk to people or how to, like,

I guess. But you guys were on there as a team? Like, you guys were dating now, you and your roommate? That gets complicated, and I'm trying to get to that part too. Oh, okay. But, but we're basically roommates having sex, but I'm not calling her my girlfriend. Yeah, I get it. Right.

But that's what I mean. Like so since you guys started partying with those other people, now you're down to fuck each other and you're like kind of. And so now you're on there, not necessarily as a couple who is romantically together, but you guys are together as a couple on adult friend finders looking for other couples. Yeah. Okay. Yes, exactly. So the first couple we met, we were texting back and forth. And I remember the male being like really aggressive with his wording.

He's like, oh, I'm going to, I'm going to fuck your girlfriend. and I'm going to do all these things to her. And I was like, that's cool. I'm more reserved. I kind of want to get to know you first and, like, I guess become your friend. And then we get to that. But he was just like from the get-go. He was just texting about how, you know, you can do all these things.

And like, I can't wait to do this and that. And we finally met up. And his wife was equally aggressive, too. Like, she was just, like, went for it. Like, I feel we didn't even get past, like, getting to know each other, have a couple drinks and have dinner. They just wanted to get straight to it. And so these were done.

it was a good time I mean it was actually it was really good sex but it was just an off-putting vibe they gave what made it even weirder was we pinged them on the other site so like I said we had adult friend finder and we had SDC

and we pinged them on the other site but we didn't have profile pictures so they didn't know it was us they had pinged again they had pictures but we didn't so I identified those at the same couple but when they messaged us their story was completely different they said their names were different they said their ages were different

they gave us a completely different story of who they were. And that made me just trust them even more. So we didn't reply to them after that. But you had good sex with them. I mean, like, listen, maybe that, you know, listen, people call into my show. They have a fake name in their email. Another fake name when I talked to them. I mean, you know, you could understand that maybe they would be not really honest about that.

Maybe someplace else because they didn't want to get caught. I don't know. But, I mean, you did have, like, when you have sex with that couple, like, what exactly happened? Where did you meet them? Like, what kind of like, what. What roles do you guys play? You know, do you both, was it like a free-for-all?

I mean, what happened at that experience with that couple? Can you tell me some details of that? Yeah, I'm sorry. I forgot. You're in total of explicit details. I'm just trying to question. No, I don't. No, no, no, no.

I don't. You're just like, you know, you're just flying through stuff and I'm just trying to get, it just, you know, I'm just trying to get some stories. But you have a lot of specifics of stuff that people wouldn't be as interested in as the specifics of like, you know, the actual stuff that went down like what goes down like you're hooking up with these couples you know that's is that your first couple that you meet off the website and why was it not good yeah that was the first couple we met up the website and why was it not good i guess i'm speaking of my past self it's it's the first time we met

met a couple and found out they were lying to us and i get what you're saying to like people that no no you said before you even saw them on the other site that they were lying you said it just wasn't a good vibe like what was bad about the vibe when you met them you didn't know that they were lying until after you hooked up with them, because then you saw them on another website. So I'm just saying, like, what was wrong with the vibe when you met them to hook up? Oh, okay, yeah. So, again, it was just the overaggressive, like, I'm going to do this to her and, like, I can't wait to do this and we're going to do all these things.

And I just felt like, hey, get to know us first, have some drinks with us first. Like, let's at least break the ice and become friends or, you know, like, make sure you'll be vibe to that degree of work. It was going to like take the parents off the fuck. Right. But you guys did all have sex, right? I mean, did you, like, screw the wife? Did she screw the husband?

Like, what went down? And was it good, or maybe it was? I don't know. It was good. It was a little awkward at first. So we went to their house. They had kids, but their kids were like a baby's or something. So they had the house for the night.

I remember his wife was redhead, and she was always chewing peach bubble gum. When we first started, you know, interacting, it was the two girls were playing with each other. And then the husband, again, being aggressive, he joined in after a couple of minutes. So they were basically going after my partner and touching her and kissing her and taking off her pants and they were taking turns giving her oral. And then I was kind of sitting off the side for, I'd say, like, maybe 10 minutes, but I didn't like it.

I didn't like that. I was involved. So I kind of put my hand out and I touched the wife and that kind of snapped her out. And then she thought, he gave me attention. She goes to kiss me and she exchanges that gum into my mouth. I personally thought that was disgusting, but I just went with a casino in the moment where she had made things happen. My roommate and her husband are on the bed and they're starting to have sex and then I'm sitting in a chair and his wife is giving me an oral and I took the gum on and I hit it. I didn't tell her about that. So I started having sex with his wife on the chair I was sitting on.

They were on the bed but the chair was uncomfortable. So we all moved to the bed and that's where I mentioned earlier like I don't really like being that close to people but it was really like the only place we could comfortably fuck. We did that. his wife was very, very dominant in this role. Like, I mean, I like to fuck, but she was like, you know, like really like, pushing me in the positions that she wanted and she was like really grinding into me. And that made me come way fast as I thought I would. So I was out of the party first.

So they three played for a little bit. But the energy was really good. So I was able to, like, get back up and get back in the game. So I think all in all, we have sex like two and a half times, like I can finish the third time. We were done. Right. So now that was that first experience of you guys meeting someone online. Don't you eventually hook up with somebody else and get into a relationship and then you guys go into the lifestyle?

I mean, that was stuff that you were doing with your roommate. Did you guys meet with a lot of couples when you guys were hooking up with people? Yeah. We met with, I'll say, three or four couples. But this is where the story kind of goes off the rails again. So we met this one couple and they were both teachers. and we, and this is where I say, I like to get to know people. So we were actually dating them.

We were going to dinner. We were having drinks. We were getting to know each other. We were playing, you know, icebreaker games, board games. And when we were dating them, we would take a baby steps. Like the first time, we were just, like, heavy petting and kissing. Then the next date, we moved on to soft swap. Or, you know, we didn't have sex to, like, three or four dates.

And that was a good time. We were having a good time. We enjoyed this couple's, you know, company. And then we started solo dating. Like, I would go meet his wife alone. or she would go meet the husband alone who were doing color dating. So I'd say this went on for about a year. And I started developing, like, feelings for the wife.

And she was reciprocating. And my roommate was not happy about that at all. And so I told her, I was like, well, I mean, we are lifestyle. Like, we're just, I was lying to her. I was like, we're lifestyle. You know, we're just having sex. We're just, you know. I don't know that this is like lifestyle.

I mean, this might be, like, hooking up. I think being in the lifestyle is a little different. maybe when you're with a partner. I don't know. But anyway, go on. So, but you guys, so she had unfortunately caught feelings for you, even though it was never about that for you.

Yeah. So my roommate had feelings for me, but I was having feelings for the wife of this couple. Yeah. And so I was encouraging my roommate to date other people or let's go meet other couples just so you can have more, you know, playtime interaction.

I was trying to distract her, basically. And she was getting really upset with me. So I would, like, go to work and come home, and she would have, like, destroyed my room. I'm talking, like, knocked all my books off the shelf, flip my bed over, like, absolute psychos things. And then the jealousy kind of really fascinated from there. Like, she would get jealous over people that I wasn't sleeping with.

So, for instance, I was helping somebody with her school project. I was helping them do, they added some videos. And I walked her out to her car from our apartment. And from the parking lot, I could hear our home theater on full blasts, like, volume 100. Like, she pulled this stunt just to give me to run back to the apartment and like ask her like what the hell and she pretended like oh i didn't know how to use a stereo and then yeah so this behavior went on for a while and the final straw was i caught her in my room she was like she was smearing like spaghetti soft on my walls or something and i told her you have to stop

and then she said that she was going to kill herself and you know she was she starts hitting herself so i went to russia from hitting herself but the moment i touched her she acted dramatically like i had like manhandled with her and she like threw herself on the floor. So I ended up having to call the police and then I decided it's not a good idea for me to be there anymore so I moved out. And we broke lease and then I continued to date. I never saw her enough of that and I continue to date the wife of this couple but because all these things that happened they were having marriage problems as well so they were starting to file for divorce. What about the girl you're married to now? I mean you eventually meet someone that you're married to right? Is that true? Yes. Okay.

So a couple years after that, I met this girl at a restaurant. And she was significantly younger than me. So, I mean, she was pretty, you know, I was interested, but I didn't really want to commit to her in a relationship. I mean, she was absolutely gorgeous. So, like, me being a guy, I just wanted to fucking, like, maybe, like, hang out for a little bit and maybe, you know, we'll eventually go away. But she was very adamant about, like, being the person that I wanted to be with. She would like learn all the things that I liked. She would, she basically kind of emulated who I was, which I thought was weird, but then suddenly now she's like my best friend and were like hanging out and sleeping together.

So it didn't really take long, but after a few months, you know, she was living with me and we were together. I was trying to be as honest as I could with her. So I explained to her, you know, this is like, this is the life that I came from. This is like you in the military. This is like the dating experience I've had in the past. I used to work at this club. You know, I used to do all these things. And she was all about it.

like I want to experience that. I want to do that too. So we talked about it for a little bit, and then we got back on SDC and we started like, you know, looking for couples. And her birthday was coming up and she said she wanted to try two guys once. And I was like, I mean, yeah, we can make that happen. So we started basically interviewing guys who were looking for guys, you know, make sure you didn't seem like too creepy or too gross or, you know, like something that she wanted. We found two guys. We got a hotel and she had her very first three-sum. And that was kind of funny too because I was involved, I just, you know, watched.

That's the first time I just watched. But of the guys that came, one guy was like, he was tall, muscular. He was like very, you know, like the typical, like a kind of like a gym body, like, you know, someone you find just physically attractive just for the act of sex. And then the other guy, he was slim, he had long hair. But when he arrived, he baked cookies for her. Like, he brought a box of cookies that he baked for her. And, I mean, it's a really nice gesture, but it just, it, I don't know, I'll just never

forget this guy baked his cookies. He's like, okay, we're here to meet for sex and you paid those cookies. But for that experience, we talked for like five minutes and then they got right into it. So I guess everyone was pretty eager. But we bought some body jewelry for her. She started, you know, by giving both guys oral sex and then it moved to the bed. And then they would take turns going back and forth. We never did anything like double penetration-wise.

It was just regular vaginal sex. But that was fun to watch. We filmed everything. And the cookie guy, it took him like an hour. to have to finish. And we were all kind of looking at and chill like, is this guy ever going to finish? Like, is he done? Because we wanted to be courteous on that and finish. But also, I find it funny too, because

I think the hotel lobby knew what we were doing because I was going back and forth to my car bringing in, like, cameras and, like, you know, gear. And then later I went and met this guy and brought him up to the room and stuff like that. So I think there were suspicious. Right. Yeah, go on. But after that, we didn't

really keep in touch with those guys. But they would message back and ask, like, hey, can I get a solo around then or something? It's like, no, we're not. we're not into that yet. And then, so from that point on, we just started dating couples. And some of the couples who were meeting, I remembered from working at the club. So we started building a friend network of like swingers within our city. So we belong to Facebook groups and like other online groups. So we were always talking to each other. We had friends. We would go to parties together. And then we learned over time that we didn't necessarily like group events where group sexual activity is happening.

we always like meeting people, getting to know people, and then going somewhere private to do something. And then that goes back to what I said before. I like to be separate rooms so I can focus on my partner. So most of our swimming experience was meeting couples and then separate room play. We met a couple that we really liked. They were also teachers. We would go to their house. We would cook dinner together and we'd play some games and then we would separate and do our deeds.

And that relationship also evolved into solo dating. So I would meet his wife and we would just go on dates by ourselves. and my wife would meet the husband. They'd gone dates by themselves. And she was very sexually. Her appetite was pretty big. So she always wanted to have sex twice, but it took me time to recharge. So we would meet up, have sex, go get lunch, and then have sex again.

She called it a fuck sandwich. That relationship with that couple went on for, I want to say, like, two and a half, three years. And then just out of the blue, the wife contacted me and said, I don't think we'll see each other anymore without explanation. I guess that's fine. I mean, you know, you have a right to cut it off whenever you want. It's just I never got the closure. So that always made me feel bad because I really liked her. She was like one of my favorite partners ever.

And just one day, she was like, we're done. And then another couple we met, we met them. They lived about an hour away. We went to go meet them. And I don't know if their reason for trying to swinging was to save their marriage or they were going through something, but we met them. We had a good dinner. We went upstairs to their den.

They were playing music. And then they had one of those giant bean bags, like a love sack. I don't know if you had those. It's like a huge bean bag that can... Right. It's a bean bag that basically 10 people can fit on. Uh-huh. So the girl started playing on that, and his wife went down on my wife, and then she wanted reciprocation,

but I guess we didn't discuss that either. We didn't go in, because my wife doesn't like doing that. Right. But with any situation like this, you don't take one for the team, but if you do, it becomes an issue later, and it became an issue later. So we have kind of an argument about that. But so the girls are playing, the girls are playing. And then we finally unite and then we go to our separate rooms.

I go with his wife. She goes with his husband. These were done. And then my wife and I, we went outside to get some fresh air and just kind of like talk about the situation, cool off. And while we're outside, we hear the couple inside. And they just erupt into this huge argument like World War III. And I don't know if it was a jealousy thing or what happened, but I'm fairly certain that we were their first one experience. and whatever they're arguing about had to do with what just happened.

So it was so awkward for us. We just kind of snuck on the last week, again, we went on one of the situations. Like, we don't want to be there, so we just left. And so I remember the next day, we got a message from the wife there. And it was kind of like, same thing, like, don't ever messages again,

don't ever talk to this again without explanation. So it was like, okay, I guess. Doesn't like something eventually, some sort of scandal thing go down with your wife? Yeah. So we were dating couples and we were dating singles. and everyone operates differently in this kind of environment. Like, ideally, everyone should be on the same page.

Everyone should know what's going on. Everyone should, you know, have consent. And with me, I like to, you know, I like to vet people. I like to meet the guy. I like to know who he is. And same thing with her. If I was meeting a girl, she liked to know who she is and meet her and vet her. I do feel, though, that she was more protective and jealous over me versus me over her.

Like, if I met the guy, I thought he was decent and he showed me respect and kind of earned my, you know, approval, then everything was fine. And I always like to be there the first couple times they played, so I know it thinks, okay, or, you know, they're compatible or just, I enjoy watching it. When I would watch, it wasn't like, I didn't like that sense of shame or humiliation. It was more like I watched because I love seeing her good pleasure. You know, that's what made me feel happy. And then following that, the reclaimed sex was like the best sex we had ever had. Reclame sex was always the best sex.

So that was very exciting for me, and I was starting to enjoy that whole aspect of it. for our dynamic there, she would go and meet guys and she would either bring me back video or a very detailed story to arouse me and then we would have a reclaim sex. But I'm sorry, I'm getting out to subject. You said the scandal. So she ended up, oh, I forgot a huge component of the story. So I'm a photographer and she's a model. So we were like a photographer model team.

And one of my friends shot our wedding. So we had a bunch of photography family people. fellow wedding and, you know, people in the industry. And this photographer that shot her wedding, he got her some jobs modeling for a company that travels a lot. So they were traveling and they were doing great work together. And around this time, too, she had gotten a day job working for a restaurant, you know, restaurants that catered to like men, like where the girl just kind of skinny. So she was working at these places and now she's starting to get attention from a lot of men like daily and at first it was a chest thing else i got asked her like you know how it's worked

and she was telling me about how this guy hit on her this guy gave her number and this is a regular thing she's very attractive girl but then that kind of evolved into how it's work oh it was fine and i mean can you tell me anything can you give me some details and she's like no you know just she was just giving me very generic short answers kind of like you know how like when a kid comes from school you asked him how it's school they're just like it's fine you know like they don't want to talk to you, like they're very, like, angsty or rebellious. So she was, like, starting to withdraw from me and not telling me things that were happening at the restaurants, but she would also stay out later and later and later, or she would tell

me I'm going to go get a drink, like one drink, and then show up at home, like, three or four in the morning. And so I was getting frustrated with her, and I was calling her out on these things. And then I was noticing, too, she had a lot of regulars that would see her on a regular basis, like they were always coming in. I would ask her, like, you know, hey, can I come see you for lunch or dinner or something? and she'd be like, no, she would have a reason, like, corporate was there or, like, the managers doing some kind of, like, training or something. So she didn't really want me around, but I knew that she was, you know, seeing people that.

So I think the order of offense happened here. Oh, okay. So I got a message on Facebook from the wife of our wedding photographer, and she goes, I'm sorry to put this on you, but I got into my husband's iPad, and he has photos and videos of, of him fucking their wife, and her hair is different in all the photos. So this has clearly been going on for maybe three or four years. And it hurts a lot, but what really threw me off about it is like, we're, you know, we're lifestyle. We have, you know, aspect of lifestyle.

So if you wanted to have sex with this person or if you want to interact with the person, you could have just asked me. I might have said no, but like you always have the option to ask. And so it really threw me off. And I started thinking about the timeline and how often they traveled together. and I started thinking about all the places they've been together. You know, they go to Vegas and California and all these different shows. And I was like, I really got sick to my stomach and I started like, I was angry.

And so I couldn't hold in my anger at that moment. So I went to her work and just went straight to her. And I told her I know about, you know, this person. And she starts crying and then we have a talk. And then she admits it. And then it was a really bad night for us. Like I left. I didn't come home for maybe like a week.

We eventually get back together. and we're talking about it, so we agreed to go to counseling together. For our counselor, it was a lot to take in because we were honest about our thing. We were honest about the things we've done swingers, about our dating habits, and how, you know, our counselors didn't really understand that lifestyle. So I felt we were kind of counseling her at first until she, like, kind of got it. But that's also another interesting insight, too. So that counselor ended up liking us a lot, and she kind of broke protocol and became our personal friends.

and so she was like drinking with us at bars and like I ended up shooting her wedding and we became really good friends how unprofessional something's wrong with that therapist I wouldn't listen to a word she says that's like the worst thing you could do as a therapist it's weird yeah and you know that happens but not really it really doesn't happen shouldn't happen sorry but that's like a very weird profession I mean you know it's one thing if it's just your hairdresser but not your therapist they're not supposed to cross that line. They could get, I mean, that's like really bad. Well, yeah, it's bad that that did happen in my situation.

I believe you, I'm just saying. From there, we were trying to make things work, but I had, like, the worst trust issues. Like, I was asking her, like, who are you with? You know, what are you doing? Like, I was basically grilling her a lot. At first, she was apologetic, and she was kind of, like, accommodating to my need to know things. But then after a few months, it flipped on me, and I was becoming controlling. and she was doing me to be controlling all the time and watching over her,

which I was because I was paranoid, but this was right before COVID hit. So she had gone on another trip traveling as a model, not with the photographer anymore. She had other gigs and stuff like that. And I had actually gotten her a gig with the company I worked for doing promo for our products. So she was also traveling with my company. But I wouldn't go on the trip, but she was still traveling with my company.

So she was basically like a coworker, kind of part of the brand. And so COVID hits, and we're on, like, the major part of the lockdown, like, where nobody's going out or anything. And I just found she was always frustrated with me over, like, the tiniest things. Like, I would, like, maybe touch, like, her car. And she'd like, don't touch my car. I'm like, it's our car. It's in the garage. I just leaned against it.

Like, why are you attacking me? Our drinking really picked up. We both really went down kind of like an alcoholic. We were drinking a lot. And she would either just sleep the entire day off, or she would just, just, find something to occupy herself and she just watched TV all day and we were just sitting here doing nothing

for a couple months but she was always very short with me and like trying to argue with me but I found that she was wanting to take like three hour walks or she wanted to like drive her car around the blocks to make sure you know

the fluid is still running through it she always had an excuse to like get out of the house we start to open it back up a little bit like my office says hey you can come in for an hour we're going to split hours and no one really runs into each other So I was starting to go back to work and then her restaurant started opening up too

with heavy mandate because she was starting to go to work but I told her I was like let's take it slow. We don't know how bad COVID really is so let's just be minimal shifts and kind of like ease our way into it she signed it for every shift she could

like literally like as soon as she had the freedom she signed for every shift she could and her behavior was just so like off putting and I was it doesn't mean to parent all the time like I didn't understand her behavior so I thought of having panic attacks like randomly I couldn't explain

I was about panic back. So one day I come home from work, and she's in the shower, and obviously she should hear me come home for work because she's in the shower, and she didn't go to the garage or anything. But I can hear her in the shower, and she's clearly talking to someone. And so I kind of put my ear to the door, and it's a guy. And so, you know, I'm going to press her up in the door. I'm trying to see what she's doing.

She's FaceTiming someone while she's in the shower, but she immediately hangs up when I come in, and she starts acting in the role, like, oh, you're home, you know, like happy to see me. and I asked her who were you talking to and she goes, oh, I was talking to a female friend and I didn't call her out then but I was very suspicious of who she was talking to. So later, and I know it's terrible,

but never underestimate the investigative power of someone who thinks they're being cheated on. Like, you suddenly know how to get in people's phones, you know how to like what apps to look for. And I'd get in her phone and I was just overwhelmed. And she was having an affair with one of my best friends. On that affair, I was always telling her about my problems with her, trying to get advice.

And he was, like, you know, feeding into me. So he was actually taking the information that I was giving him and he was getting against me. He was putting in her head how I'm controlling, how, you know, I'm doing how you think to keep her off guards. And he was, like, basically telling her, you know, you need to leave him and, like, pack up and go. But at the same time, telling me how I can save my marriage. He was playing both sides. Right. And then I found, I also found she was having an affair with one of my coworkers.

She was traveling with. She was sleeping with him. She was sending him pictures. She was sending him videos, strip Tegos, all kinds of stuff. And after she was on the phone with when I came home when she was in the shower. So that became a huge issue, too, because I brought it up to corporate. I went and I told them like, this guy's nothing. My wife, I wanted to stop.

This is a thing. And so it started getting ugly at work. And then continuing on into her phone, I found out she was having. Right. So let me just ask you this, because. we're getting close to wrapping up. Like, what, where are you guys right now? I mean, how do you ever get past all of this nonsense?

I mean, you know she's cheating on you. You know all this stuff is going down. Like, where are you now? And, like, you know, do you think that being in the lifestyle and opening up your relationship caused that? I mean, like, you know, what's the deal? Where are you, where are you, how do you feel right now? So we're divorced now.

It's finalized. And I haven't spoken to her since she ended up moving in with the manager she's cheating on me with. But where I was trying to get with all of this is, totaling out, I had this experience in the beginning, enjoying myself in Air Force as a bull, and then I had some great experiences with partners in a swimmer lifestyle, but it's not perfect. I mean, we had our hiccups and, like, bad experiences, but overall it was fun. It was great experience. And then moving on to my marriage, I did enjoy partner swapping. I didn't enjoy

single dating, but then I kind of cascated down to her going off doing their own thing. And where we lost our communication, that's where we really fell apart. And now that I'm that I'm single, I'm trying to, like, do I want a normal relationship, you know, and just keeping calm? Or, like, I do miss those aspects of having, like, those options and that trust and that level of communication, but now I'm seeing what happens when that fails and that's terrifying to me. So that's where I'm at right now.

It's just trying to, like, kind of figure out where do I go from here. Right. Okay, well, let me know where you do go from here. I mean, I think you have to really think about it. I don't, I mean, you know, I've heard plenty of couples who are in a lifestyle who this doesn't happen to, but it can. And, you know, I feel like you have to really, you know, I think one of the keys to being successful in lifestyle

from what I've heard is that, you know, you need a very solid foundation. And I think sometimes that solid foundation comes with time. The biggest key ingredient to that most of the time would be that you're with someone for a really long time before you sort of open up that relationship. So maybe in your next relationship, even if you decide to open up, you know, maybe wait until you guys are really secure within yourself. You really trust each other.

You really know and you really communicate so that it doesn't happen again. That could help. You're absolutely right. And that's definitely a bond. I don't want to drop on somebody so soon this time because, like, one, if they're not into it, then you really throw off their relationship at the beginning and they're going to think, you know, you're into these. really weird things. And so yeah, I would definitely

love to build like a strong foundation trust communication relationship and then possibly bring that up in small hands and see if that's something you would be receptive to or not. Right, of course. You have to wait a little bit and just or else you know, you might

if you put it out there and I mean, I don't know, like you know that that roommate of yours like you bring home a random guy and right away she's like yeah I'll fuck him and then you guys are all fucking and then like it turns out like she's like unstable like it was sad what happened with her Like that wasn't a girl maybe that could handle what was going on.

You know, she's not just crazy. Like something's wrong with her. Like I said, that was actually a sad story. I don't look at her and judge her as being a terrible person. I think she was maybe acting out sexually because she had really deep underlying problems. I mean, you know, she really went off the deep end. And that's what you don't want. You don't want to be with someone who's, you know, doing any of that kind of stuff because of,

they're coming from, you know, from the wrong place. So you just have to really make sure that your feet are on the ground, their feet are on the ground and you really do it. Because if not, it could just turn really messy and ugly. And look, you know, your relationship didn't survive. Your friendship with your roommate didn't survive. So, you know, navigate a little bit better next time. But I would assume you'd probably do better in a relationship where you do have that going on. But I wish you all the best luck and let me know when you do wind up with somebody else keep me posted. Thanks so much for calling in and sharing your story. Yeah. Thanks for hearing me out in my time. Thank you. Bye.

Hey, everyone. Thanks so much for tuning in to this week's episode. If you want to follow the show, follow me at Strict Anonymous on Instagram or Twitter. That's at Strict Anonymous. If you are on YouTube, make sure to subscribe. I love YouTube as a platform for my show because people comment there. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go. that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available not only in paperback and e-book, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about

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