Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 499 - Annie had a Foursome with her Husband, her Boyfriend and her Intimate Female Partner

Episode Date: June 27, 2022

Annie Undone has a husband a boyfriend and a female intimate partner and she called in to talk all about it. When did she become polyamorous and open up her marriage? How many relationships outside of her marriage does she have? And, how has she been so successful at being poly? Tune in for all the details which include the zine she has recently put out about her journey becoming poly, the bdsm swingers party she attended and what went down there including the “medical” room and the guy on guy wrestling scenario, her MMF threesomes and what she loves about them, the MMFF foursome she had and exactly what went down, how she’s into both giving and receiving creampies, what she loves watching her intimate female partner do, the relationships she has outside her marriage and how she defines them, how she came out to her mother and how she reacted, the crazy threesome she found out her mom had at Platos retreat back in the day, the kink dynamic she has with her husband, how her and her husband have started having overnights with other people and how they both feel about it, the issues her husband has had with finding other relationships outside their marriage and how they work through that and a whole lot more. **You can find Annie Undone's zine and other stuff here: linktr.ee/AnnieUndone To see anonymous pics of Annie plus anonymous pic of most of my other female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Today I have on the show Annie Undone. Now, Annie has been on the show before. She's a polyamorous, kinky, queer, kinkster. I don't know. This is hard to describe. She's a lot of fucking things. She's a smart bitch is what she is. and she is polyamorous.

She's hardcore polyamorous with her husband. I've been together a long time, but they've only been Polly for like two and a half years, but they've done a lot. She's been on the podcast before her first episode. There'll be a link to that in the description, 449. Annie is a married polyamorous kingster who loves group sex. That first episode you'll get a lot of her backstory on.

You can listen to that. On this episode, we talk about where she is currently. We also talk about a zine that she published, which is a book of her poetry and stuff about her first year and a half in the Polly world and what she went through. If you are Polly or into Polly, thinking about Polly, want to know more about Polly.

She's the girl you want to know. That's the book, Zine, you want to buy. You want to follow her on Instagram. All of the links to all of her stuff will be in the description. She came on today to talk about her zine that she's publishing, but also, like I said, tell me, what's, you know, give an update about what's going on with her now. And there's so much more

than last time. Like she's got a new girl that she's hooking up with and she still has the other boyfriend that she has and they had a big hot fucking foursome. Okay. Like first she's like, you're going to be really surprised because this girl is like super smart, really well spoken. And in the beginning we're talking about her zine and polyamory and all that kind of good stuff. And then she goes into like the craziest story, the foursome she had. with her husband and her boyfriend and the girl, her intimate partner, Heidi, and what went down? I mean, there were cream pies galore, which was on her bucket list. She was fucking into it.

And so it's like a really hot story she tells. And we talk all about that and the dynamics and all the new things that they've been getting into, one being that, you know, her and her guy now go and sleep over partners' houses separately and see people separately and how and that has been for both of them. It's different for her than her husband. And we talk a little bit or a lot towards the end about, you know, her husband's, not issues, I wouldn't say issues, but her husband's challenges that he has come across being Polly and the relationships he's had because they're having different experiences

because, you know, she dates different people. He has a hard time. I remember that in the first episode too, you know, but they've been together for 18 years. So they have a very solid background and able to do this. But she's not someone that sugarcoats things. She's very honest about, you know, the hot things that go on, the difficult things that go on, the good things go on.

And I forgot. She talks about her mom. Okay. This mom comes into play who's another fucking character. Like you can't believe what happened. And she doesn't sugarcoat that either. Like her mom is super open now and really into her lifestyle. But that wasn't always the case.

And we get into a little backstory about the mom and how interesting her mom is and some hot things that her mom has done and how she shared it with her and how that all came about. And that's another interesting story that I had not heard of before. So anyway, you're going to want to tune in, sit back, relax. And I'm going to be right back on with Annie. Hi, Annie. Undone. Do I have to call you Annie? Can I just call you Annie or do I have to call you Annie?

Yeah. Annie. No, you can call you to say Annie. Annie. but you're any undone like on Instagram and you know that's kind of like would you say that's like your social media persona or your professional persona because you are kind of like a speaker you are a polyamorous girl in a polyamorous relationship you're a kinkster you're a lot of things right you were on my show before if people want to get your big backstory your first episode is it's episode

what is it 449 hold on i just had it front of me and I close it one second. Yeah, it's 449. Annie is a married polyamorous kingster who loves group sex. The one thing, I have to tell you that I was like super impressed by on that first conversation was that you have done DVPs, not just DPs, which are double penetrations. Those over always fascinate me, but you were like, oh yeah, DVPs. I'm like, what the fuck is it DVP? And those are like two dicks in your vagina. No, well, no, I was on the other side of that. I am wearing the dick.

Right, you had the dick and your guy in another girl's vagina. So anyway, you have the, you know, you and your guy have had an open relationship, your polyamorous. You have a lot going on. People, like I said, could get the beginning backstory to that on the first episode. And they could also now subscribe to your new zine called 24 hours. Why don't you explain what that is? Because it is your backstory, right?

Yeah. So what's interesting is I discovered these zines through somebody else who publishes them, Clementine Morgan. She wrote a very formative zine called Love Without Emergency. It's about polyamory and attachment and anxious attachment. And so I was like, oh, this is a really interesting format to publish it. And it just so happened that over the first year and a half of being polyamores, I wrote a book of poetry, which is now called 24 hours.

It's a story in five parts. And the sections are dawn, high noon, sunset, and starlight. And then there's a fifth section, which is called Splendor, which is a fantasy. But the rest of the story is all true. It's about the relationships that I had in the first year and a half of polyamory. And they're kind of broken down into these like very poetic, very, very, raw and honest, like, bites, I guess. So it follows a few relationships. My relationship with Sam, which was a kinky dynamic, and he was a very lovely relationship for me for a long time. We were

together for two years. He's asexual. It was a dynamic where I was the Dom and he was submissive. There's a rebound in there, which is the high noon section, which is the disaster of a human I date it named Chad. The sunset section is poems about Sam and Paul, my husband, and I mixed them all up, so you kind of can't tell who is who. And then Starlight is about my relationships with Josie and Tyler. And that kind of caps out the book. And then there's the final section, Splendor, which was like a fantasy of like, if I was, if I was dead and Sam was left as the lone standing person in the colloquial telling the story of who we are. But so just to explain because you use the word zine, you use the word book.

Like is a zine like a book that's online? No, it's a physical book, but it's done. It's basically like a gorilla style of publishing. Like I put this together with like very rudimentary. It's like you cut out the pages, you glue them together and then you throw them on a copier so that they look really cool. So you can do all kinds of. of artwork with them. There's, I mean, there's an entire culture around scenes. It's, it's a quarter

page format. So it's small. You could carry it in your purse. And it's just a way for writers with a platform to kind of publish on their own and get their work directly to the people it's relevant to, which I think is super radical. Like, since we lost talk, you know, I've been grappling a lot with my identity in this, in this space, right? Like, who am I? Obviously, like, I'm polyamorous. I'm kinky. I'm queer. I like to do all this weird stuff. I'm super into sex and I have a special interest in relationships. But underlying all of that, I'm an artist. And I think that polyamory is a radical way to live your life. And so as I was thinking about who I am and how I want to present in the world now that I have a platform, I thought, yeah, no, I don't want to give my

money, time, energy, and love to a publisher, I can do this myself. I don't need someone to tell me that I'm good enough to put my work in the hands of people who are interested in it. Yeah, for sure. That's the power of the internet. When you say the platform, I know that you've been up to a lot of stuff since we last spoke. There are new partners in your relationship. There's new dynamics going on like you guys are going out on overnights with separate partners. I'm assuming since you said that that you didn't do that before, you have a new female partner, you let go of somebody, you had an MMMF threesome, blah, blah, blah, blah. I mean, so much.

Like, let's get to it. Yes. So, yeah. Okay. So when I last talked to you, I think I was just starting my relationship with CJ. And we are still together, very much together. It's a great relationship. I also added a relationship with Heidi, who is somebody that Paul D.

last year, but timing was a little off for us, so we kind of never got off the ground. But now we kind of came, revisited it, negotiated a relationship, and we are kind of exploring group dynamics, BDSM dynamics, some kink elements, and like fantasy stuff. We're kind of like a safe place to explore fantasies together. So we're working on building rapport to do that. And she invited us to our very first night at like a BDSM club near her and that what an experience that was. I had never been. Well, you know, it was like we opened up during the pandemic. So we really hadn't had a chance to go do anything like that.

But it was like literally the night was made for us. It was a Star Wars themed BDSM parties. We were like, hell yeah. Count us in. I made, I had a friend make me a shirt that said Luke call me daddy. Oh my God, hilarious. That's great. And I wore that.

And then CJ wore a shirt that said, yes, daddy. So it was great. We saw so many. I bought this amazing flogger, which I have to say I'm in love with. And we saw a lot of things that night. I probably would have done a lot more at this club. Like now I have all these fantasies as it relates to this club. Like they have a medical room there.

And like I just want to make a sign that says, are you suffering from hysteria? And I want to bring my Hitachi. and I want to make women come in there so that my husband can like masturbate them out of their hysteria. Wow. That's my new goal. What was going on in the medical room like that other people were doing? Nothing. Nothing that night.

I was like, what in the world? Like this place has stirrups. Let's go. So that was interesting. I mean, there was like a lot going on there. I saw this woman, they had this woman like kind of like vacuum sealed in latex and they were just like beating her. and fogging her and then they put a Hitachi on her. I was very invested in that narrative.

But my favorite of the night was this very androgynous couple and they came in and they were like wrestling with each other on these masks. They were like kind of like wrestle fuck fighting. And then the next thing we know like another guy just comes in and enters the fray. And then like the one guy's like stuck in the other guy's dick. And I'm like, oh my God, this is like my biggest fantasy. missed out on the dick-sucking part. Like I ran in from the other room when I heard it was happening, but I was just a second

too late. Remind me, does your guy hook up with guys? No, he is so, he is so straight. But you wish that he would. Like, what about any of your boyfriends? Not currently, but I'm always going to hold out hope for that. I love, I love guys with guys. Like that's, that's part of, that is a huge part of my queer identity is that I love

men with men. Like, it's just such a turn-on to me. Now, we have done, me, Paul, and CJ have done a number of male, female, male three sons at this point. And we all enjoy, like, having sex together. Like, they don't have sex with each other, but they both have sex with me. And it's great. I have to say, like, this is the first time that I've been in a close relationship with another man, where I've been able to engage in group sex with two men and myself. And it is everything they say it is. I love it. I also, like, probably one of my most favorite moments that we ever had in, in that combination

was I'm, like, sucking Paul's cock and, like, CJ is fucking me, like, super hard from behind. And Paul's like, oh, yeah, he's fucking you so hard. Like, yeah, get her, like, whatever. And I was like, oh, my God, stop encouraging him. The two of them were like ganging up on me so good that I was like, I don't know if I can handle all this. And I love that. But also we have a group dynamic with Heidi.

So after the BDSM club, we engaged in a pretty hot foursome, which I loved. Oh, oh. And I got to check off a bucket list item in that foursome, which was that both men came inside me and I made Heidi eat it out. Oh my goodness. You're going so fast. There's so much here to talk about. Wait a second. You have this foursome.

Who's in that foursome with Heidi and like walk us through it? Who's in that for some? It was me, Heidi, Paul, and CJ. Okay. So you and Heidi, your guy. No, is your husband involved with Heidi and having a relationship? No, he's not having a relationship with CJ. And Heidi is your girlfriend?

Is she also having a relationship with your husband? or no. Okay, so here's how this goes. So I am in a relationship with Paul, CJ, and Heidi. Right. Heidi has a sexual connection to both Paul and CJ. Yeah. So we've all had sex, basically, by this point. CJ and Heidi don't know each other super well. So they're kind of like deciding where they're at and like still getting to know each other, but they have a sexual relationship. Paul and Heidi dated last year and we're in a relationship at that point. Oh, right, right. They de-escalated.

They de-escalated that relationship into a friendship. And now they are friends and also sexual partners. Right. How interesting that like, you know, he had our first, you know, had a relationship, but didn't work, but you have a relationship where they're and it works for you, yet you and your husband work together. You would think that, you know what I mean? If you work with someone, he would too.

but I do remember there being differences between the relationships that you guys have separate of each other, right? Yeah. So like Heidi and I have a really very similar relational style with each other. We're both neurodiverse and we relate to each other in the same way. Like we process information the same. We're very close with each other. We communicate in a very similar style. So we're extremely compatible together and it works really well for us. And we basically classify our relationship as like an interoperable.

friendship and play partnership. I'm very relationship anarchist and I don't want to have a girlfriend. That doesn't feel right for me. So I just refer to her as like my partner. I forgot about that. What does that mean being a relationship anarchist? Oh, you don't want to claim you don't want to make labels like that? Yeah.

I mean, I think to me it's more broad than that even. It's just that important relationships to me are just important relationships to me. But when I was with Josie and Tyler last year and they were my. boyfriend and girlfriend. There's all of this weird meaning attached to titles like that. I don't feel that that is necessarily an indication of how important someone is to you. Right. So like with CJ, we just say partner, but we have very specific titles for each other.

And they're very unconventional, but it means something to us. Right. So your own sort of labels, but you don't attach the typical stereotypical ones because you feel like that changes the dynamic. or it has in the past for you. Also, like, just from a practical standpoint, I tend to approach things extremely pragmatically. Like, it was very complicated for me when I was dating Tyler and I was his girlfriend. And then, like, he wanted to have another girlfriend. I was like, I don't, listen, I'm not that bitch.

I don't want a title share it with somebody. I'm unique. Like, I don't, it's not a point of defense, but it's like coming from like a BDSM standpoint, point, like those titles are, mean something different to me. So I'd rather never have one. Yeah, I got it. Uh-huh. Share the same one. Yeah, listen, when you have like all this stuff going on, I think, you know, you wind up figuring out what works and what doesn't work. And I feel like for the average person, it might seem like totally complicated. But I think figuring this all out helps make it way more clear for you because there is a lot going on, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

It's a lot. I like it. Like, I'm very interested in, like, social dynamic. Yeah. And how, like, what the interplay between them is. If you're not interested in that, oh, my God, this would be so overwhelming. Right.

Right. But the people that are overwhelmed by all that stuff, let's get back to your foursome, okay? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So we had pre-negotiated the four-sum as, like, basically who was going to do what with who and, like, how we were going to start. Because, like, Heidi and I, we made this joke of, like, when two bisexual, autistic

women like negotiate group sex for you we will take care of everything from the lighting to the negotiations to the music to the condoms literally all these guys had to do was show up right this was this was prepared ahead of times everyone knew what was going to go down everybody knew what was going to go down well and there were some wild cards in this right because CJ and Heidi hadn't even met right this was the first night they met and they kind of had to get to know each other like and see what they wanted to do. So we had some things up in the air and we just kind of all checked in like,

okay, are we all good on that? So like their agreement that night was that they were taking penetrative sex off the table for that night, but everything else was kind of on the table. And so Heidi and I started with each other because I was like, we'll start things and you guys can kind of just come in, right?

So we started with each other. Like, you know, I asked her to take her clothes off. Like I'm more topy, she's very submissive. So I kind of took control of that, like, starting the situation. And we were, like, making out. I kind of, like, kissed down her body. I started, like, eating her pussy. If I recall correctly, I think my husband, like, was, like, either eating me out

or fucking me from behind or something like that. CJ and Heidi started kissing. There was kind of, like, we were kind of, we set up these, like, pads on the floor. So there was kind of, like, two levels. There was, like, the couch level. And then there was, like, the bottom level. And it's, like, with a force. there's always kind of a lot going on.

I love Heidi's philosophical approach to this, which is as long as I'm touching two people, I'm good. But, you know, like, I kind of am always, like, tracking, like, what's going on in the room, like, and who's doing what to make sure that I'm switching up in, like, a good order or paying attention to the right people and places. So, yeah, in this particular foursome, there was a lot going on. I think at one point, like, I was watching Heidi, like, give CJ a blowjob, which she gives amazing blow jobs.

I love to watch her suck a guy's dick, because she's just so good at it. So that's always a good time. But what is it that makes it so visually appealing? Is it because she's so into it? Is it because she deep throats? Like, what? She was deep throats, like a champ. Like, she's good at that.

I like watching her do it. I like watching the guy's face. Like, I've also in the past, like in threesome with her. and my husband, like, given blow jobs with her. And this is, like, one of my favorite things to do because you learn so much from, like, watching other people do sex acts and, like, giving them in tandem. I'm always, like, super impressed. Like, I always want to see, like, what do people do with their hands?

Like, you know what I mean? I'm always, like, really interested to see it, like, watch, like, watch people's faces as it's all kind of happening. So that's always fun. And this was also, I should say, the first time that CJ had been with another woman other than me since we started dating. So this was kind of a very formative for some in a lot of ways. So then like at a certain point, because it was also Heidi's birthday. So we all were kind of like at one point I remember because we were giving her like a lot of that like, you know, birthday love.

At one point I remember that my husband was like eating her pussy. I was sitting on her face. And CJ and I were kind of face to face in this format. I don't know if she was like giving him a hand job or something or what. I don't know. But he looks at me and he is like, is she doing a good job eating your pussy? And I was like, yeah. And he's like, then you should tell her that.

And I was like, oh, I love this. This is so great. We're also like very into like you're doing a great job. Yeah. Like, you know, kind of like we're like a very loving affirmative force of my thing. ultimately at one point I was eating Heidi's pussy she's sucking Paul's cock

CJ's fucking me from behind and I could just feel like he exploded inside of me because by the way previous to this foursome I had told CJ he couldn't come for four days Oh

little daum mommy in action Yeah a little bit Yeah so I was like Okay so that happened So then I was like So then I told Heidi I was like Oh yeah by the way like CJ came inside me Do you want to eat it out of me?

And she was like yeah So she ate the cup out of me And then at that point Paul then had sex with me And came inside me And then we made her eat that out too Oh my goodness And that's just one for some

Yeah I mean that was like the light of my life That night I was like I'm just living for these like cream pies and somebody like eating them out of me because I have classically always been the person eating the cream pads out of the put that. That's what I'm going to ask if you've ever been on the receiving end. So you have. Yes. I have. I have. We did that a lot of me, Josie and Tyler like and I enjoyed that. Like that's fun too, but who doesn't want to be like the cum dumpster? Right. On the receiving end totally. I mean I want to do all the things. I want to do them all

Let's leave no stone on turn. So that was like a huge bucket list item for me. And like Heidi loved it because she's like, she likes to feel very submissive. And like, I don't know. That was just like that was that will probably go down in the one of the top three foursums I've had in life because that was just a great, that was a great night. Okay, guys, listen, I just want to interrupt this episode to tell you about the best wearable vibrator. there for guys. It is called the Tenuto 2 and it's by mystery vibe. The Tanuto 2 is the only

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is going to be automatically applied at checkout. Thanks, Mr. Vibe, for sponsoring this episode. Yeah, that's crazy though. There's other ones up there with those. I mean, and considering you just started this, you know, during the pandemic, we're not talking about a lot of time, you know. Yeah, I mean, we've been polyamorous for two and a half years. I mean, yeah we started during the pandemic but we did some damage that year and we just like we were just like COVID test and see people right that's bad to say but we did it no I mean I have to say what's actually fascinating about you and I feel like people it's just like you know you start off talking and you're just like I mean what's so interesting is like your voice and I'm you know it's like here you are

you get on you start talking and you're just very intellectual and you have you're very well spoken and you're a writer and you can tell you're super smart and then you're like talking about cream pies. I mean, it's just, you're so well-rounded. You're like everything. You know, I just feel like some people would be so surprised that, you know, how you started out, that same person now is going to talk like this. But I think that's what's so great about you, right?

Because you can, you know, you're everything. You talk about it all. And you're very openly. I mean, I think, I think, you know, part of being intellectual, right, is being able to be sex positive. Like if you can't intellectualize that like pleasure is important and that like I'm also one for like I want to have silly sex experiences. I want to do that shit.

Is it weird? Count me in. Like DJ and I had sex while he created slides for a class like during a 15 minute break to like turn in. That's fucking hilarious. I love that shit. Right, right, right. that's the kind of shit I want to do. Yeah.

Like, I think that's hilarious. And I think, honestly, I will say this too. I think that's handed down from my mom. My mom is the same fucking way. I mean, my mom is great. She has started letting me tell her some of her weird monogamish stories on my Instagram. And like, this bitch let a dude. Yes.

She let a dude fuck her with saran wrap on his dick as a joke because she was like, This is fucking hilarious. Let's go. Oh my God. She's just open-minded, creative down. And it's just that part of her funnels into her sex life. But wait a second. When did you start?

Has your mom always, did we talk about your mom before? Like, has she always been super open like this with you? So my mom and I have always had a super unique relationship. Right. And we have always like, we've always talked about sex very openly since I was a teenager. I mean, like, I remember her like catching me like dry, my boyfriend at 15 and being like, hey, get out here. Let's have a conversation about this. And my boyfriend looking like he wanted to disintegrate. And I was like, and my mom and I were

both looking him like, what's wrong with you? Like we're having a conversation. We're having an open conversation. She saw us dry humping. The jig is up. Right. And he's like dying. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And that's always been like, you know, we had a polyamorous barbecue for Memorial Day weekend a couple of weeks ago and it was like some queer people some non-binary people mostly polyamorous people and like a lot of our partners and my mom came and your mom that's what I was and my mom and your mom what about your dad is there a dad I am I am not actually out to my dad at all but is your mom still with him no no they're not together they're divorced okay I don't I don't know if my dad wants to know. I haven't, I just haven't gone there with him. I don't, I don't know that

that's worth the trouble. Yeah, that's cool, but you are always, I think it's great that you and your mom are super open. But when did she start sharing with you her stuff? And how did she feel when you came out to her about being Polly? When I came out to her, she was actually super pissed. She was like, wait a second, that's a family decision. And I was like, I think by family, you mean me and Paul. Yeah, totally. We have made. We have made. this decision. She was extremely distressed. Like, you know, it took her a lot to get there in her mind that being bisexual and being non-monogamous were things I could do within the context of my marriage. That was a lot for her to wrap her head around. And I had to really be patient and give her time with

that. But she did come around when she realized that it wasn't imploding our marriage. and even if it was like this was who I needed to be. And she finally got there and it was fine. But at first she was she was very upset and she really wanted to like fight against the tide of that. And I had to really stand firm in what I was going to do with myself and my life. And around about when I got 3,000 followers on Instagram, I said, mom, I want you to come on live and like talk, talk with my followers about what what this has been like for you. That's a great angle. I think that's important.

And she did. Yeah, she did. And it was fun. And she liked it. And then she started dating this guy, Jorge. And this guy, like, was asking her questions. And all of a sudden, and she's telling me this story about going to Plato's retreat in, like, the 70s or 80s. Wow.

And I'm like, wait a second. And she's like, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I went to Plato's retreat. I have this weird threesome with this guy and his cousin. And I'm like, and I'm like, like, wait, what? And so I'm like, mom, you have to let me tell this on my close friends list. And she's like, okay, sure, it disappears in 24 hours. Tell the story. Who care? So she lets me tell this story

and people are just obsessed, right? Like, they love it. So I'm like, mom, you have to let me tell your weird Jorge stories because she starts dating this guy. And all of a sudden, she's like in this weird kind of non-monogamous relationship with this guy who's clearly very kinky but a little bit weird and repressed about it and and so like she starts letting me tell these stories and now like for Memorial Day weekend we we got a hot tub it arrived Memorial Day weekend and my mom did a special reading of hot tub which is a T-Pain song for my close friends so she's really like embraced it now and it's really fun. It's cool because I think it's,

I think, you know, people are like, your mom is such a legend. And it's like, maybe, maybe that's true. But also I think it's a really good reminder that whether you're 65 or 36 or 22, like you can embrace whatever your sexuality is at any fucking point. Like nobody can tell you how to live or how to be, you know, at 65, my mom had a boyfriend who asked her to pee on hand. And she said, yeah.

I need your mom. Wait, I want your mom on my show. She is a fucking legend. But do you, and was it though, like what I was wondering, like, was it you coming out to her? Like, did that help her, you know, sort of come into her own and remember who she was and now she's having all these experiences? Or was she always and she just never told you about them? I don't know. I think it's probably a bit of bold.

I'd have to ask her. I couldn't assume that because, you know, my mom is like a super unique individual. And she has always been really enfranchised in herself. And she has a great sense of humor. And I think that I think that me coming out more than anything helped her examine some of her liberal bias as it relates to like queerness and relationship style. And I think that that's very common. I mean, look, it's one thing to say love is love. it's another to have a queer polyamorous person in your family and have to grapple with the concept of what the meaning behind, like, relationships really are.

So I think that that more than anything has been a theme for, like, the people in our families. But my mom has gotten there super quick. And like, even to the point where CJ moved into a new apartment and I was like, hey, mom, can we have that old couch from your office? and then he took a picture of himself on the couch and I like texted it to my mom and she's like, oh yeah, he already sent this to me. Oh my God. I was like, you punk, cut me out of this communication.

Yeah, that's crazy. I love your mother. Like I didn't know that. Like I said, maybe she just wasn't eight months ago. Was she doing, were you doing this with her? Is this a recent thing where she's, you know, coming on your Instagram and stuff? It started around Christmas time when we were baking cookies is when she told me about the

Plato's retreat and the play them with the guy and his cousin. And I was like, oh, we cook him with fire now. Yeah, yeah. Give me all the details. Oh, my God, I love it. What about? I know that you said in your email to me, you're like, oh, CJ and I have been like, you know, getting into a kink dynamic.

Like, when you use the word kink, like, we're into, like, what is the difference between, like, kink? Like, is, like, because sometimes you hear kink and BDSM or, like, is kink like, what's the right word like I'm so dumb when it comes to it. Like what does that mean? So I think. Like flashing out of pink dynamic. What does that mean?

Yeah. Okay. So like the difference between engaging in kink and having a dynamic is that a dynamic is kind of like a set of parameters around a relationship that kind of like you start to settle into. So like for example, I have a dynamic with Paul and I have a dynamic with CJ. They're very different. Heidi and I do not have a dynamic.

We will engage in kink. but it's always really negotiated and we know what we're going to do. And if we ever work up to a dynamic, that would be a different thing. I don't want to say that I would count that out. But we engage in kink play. So you might negotiate a scene if you're just doing kink with somebody. So for example, the medical scene that I talked about doing at the BDSM club, that's kink, right? To say like, okay, someone's going to come into a pickup scene and these are what the parameters are.

We're going to do a quick negotiation so that everyone knows what to expect. And this is what I'm going to do to you. Do you consent to that? yes I do here's the safe words that are in place great we just did a kink see yay right a dynamic is a deeper kink relationship with honorifics which are titles so like for example with paul my title is baby girl and his title is daddy and so we have a certain set of things that we do together in dynamic that's kind of things that as you kind of work up to it you kind of always know what's on the table. So at this point, like if Paul said, texted me right now and said, we're going to do a scene

tonight, I wouldn't even have to ask like what we're going to do, right? Because I trust him implicitly to kind of know where that's headed because we've been a dynamic this long. Like, and he knows exactly what's on the table and what's not on the table. Right. CJ and I are building a dynamic. So that, that takes a little more work, time and attention, especially in the beginning to sort of like know where your kinks are aligned, what you do together and how that plays out. It's a little more complicated with CJ because we're switches, but ultimately, I always top the dynamic. So I'm more in a topping position or dominant position more often in that relationship. That includes things like him washing my hair or certain pain play that we do. And some of those things have to be

very strictly negotiated as you're figuring that out. And then some of them now we kind of know what's on the table. So we're still kind of figuring that out. And then like sometimes I might ask for something special. Like for example, the weekend that he was here for Memorial Day, I was having a very stressful week that week. And I said, I think I could really use somebody to regulate me and remind me to drink water. And then I would like to make sure that I don't get inebriated. And he was like, great, you can just ask me for permission for whatever drinks you want to have. And I'll, and we'll set the limit at this. And so there's,

does this make sense how I'm explaining this? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But what is that to do with kink? Is that just being like a friend? And I don't know, like, you know, in that sense, is that, is it within every area of your life or just when it comes to SEX or, you know. So there's a lot of different ways to negotiate your kink

relationship. Right. It can be, it can be a bedroom dynamic, which is essentially like, you know, probably the most classic one. Like bedroom dynamics are great, right? and that's just contained to the bedroom and sex, right? Yeah. And then you can have stuff that goes a little bit outside the bedroom,

like when I say, hey, can you hydro-dom me and make sure I'm drinking water? And then you can be in 24-7 total power exchange, which I have also been in. Sam and I had a TPE for about six months, where we were always in dynamic. He was always submissive to me. He was my property.

I was his owner, and that was the dynamic. And I was responsible for a host. of things, including his workouts, what he wore, wake up time, bedtimes, all that kind of stuff. Right. So it goes beyond the bedroom for sure. That's why it's the dynamic. That's the whole point. Like that's what it is. It's much bigger than just what you're doing. You know, if you wanted to. Right. You can also encapsulate these things too. So like if I'm negotiating an owner property dynamic, let's say, with CJ. But for whatever reason, like we're not, we don't

want to be in 24-hour TPE because that doesn't make sense for us. TPE. Sorry, what the fuck is TPE? Total power exchange. Oh, okay. So we don't want to be in that, but we want to be able to engage in a way that feels that way for a small amount of time. You could do something simple. Like one thing I did with Sam as we backed away from total power exchange was I just had

a note that said owned. And when I wanted him to be in power exchange, I would have him put it in his pocket. Like you can do small things that create those containers. to engage in power exchange for encapsulated amounts of time as well. Right. Now, what about this whole thing about you guys, you know,

going over and sleeping over other people's places now? Yeah. So that was relatively new. Paul was dating somebody who was a bit far away and it made a lot of sense for him to go and spend the night there. And so he did a couple of weekends away. And when he did that, CJ would come here and spend the night with me.

and, you know, of course, our daughter's here as well. And so we started doing that. We added that. I guess that was in April, March or April. And that has been, well, when we do it together, like at the same time, it's been pretty good. We've had trouble sticking the landing. I have to say, coming back together after those weekends has been a bit harder for Paul and sometimes for me. And that's been a bit of the challenge.

But also this past weekend, I went away for my first weekend at CJ's. He recently moved into a new place. And so I went by myself and Paul was home with our child. And that was something very new and different for everybody as well. I think it's really, I think that was probably one of the harder things that he's ever had to do in collie amory. I mean, no one wants to be alone. Yeah. But, you know, it's also important when you are breaking codependencies.

and learning to be separate and giving every relationship the attention that it deserves, because everybody needs the alone time. Like, Paul needs alone time with me and so to CJ. But also the three of us need time to also be all together because we are very, we're, we are kitchen table, which means that, like, we could plausibly, like, hang out together and do whatever. But in addition to being kitchen table, we're also lapsitting, which is my least favorite polyamorous term, but that's what it is.

which means that we engage sexually with one another. And so we also enjoy being all together and forging those like bonds and relationships. And that's also very important as well as the importance of the four of us being together, me, Paul, Heidi, and CJ. And me taking time to be alone with Heidi sometimes. Yeah. So having the ability to do overnight and to be separate from one another as well as coming back together is really important. in the long-term polyamorous experience. Right.

But go back a little bit to the point where you said that, oh, you know, it was very hard sort of finding his way back after, you know, he spent the weekend there also for you as well. Was it that because his attention was like someplace else? And so when he came back, it was just like hard to switch it and now be with you because his head was still there. I mean, what was that shift that happened that was uncomfortable or challenging? I think that for Paul, it's a little more challenging for him to come back together with me after those weekends because he's, you know, he's not really been able to forge a strong love story yet in Pollyamory.

He's had relationships, but, and I have to say, this is the weirdest, one of the weirdest experiences to sit adjacent to is that he has had a lot of situations where women are dishonest. or using him for a specific purpose. Like he was dating somebody that was, you know, very interested in group sex and he felt a bit used in that direction. And he didn't feel like the person took the time to get to know him or he's having, like he thinks he's forging a really good connection. And then like a dom moves a little too fast and says like, okay, you're going to do these things for me.

And he's like, whoa, whoa, that's not what I'm about. So I think it's the first time that he has felt as a person, which, you know, women feel this all the time, like, oh, this person kind of like used me or I feel like they didn't get to know me or I'm feeling like I'm trying to forge an emotional relationship and this person just wants facts. Right. So he's had a lot of trouble with that. And so when he comes back and I've had a weekend that is very clearly a love narrative that's happening. Right. He doesn't. It's hard.

Okay. So it's that he's not. it's that you guys didn't have that same experience. That's what he wanted, but you got it and he didn't. His overnight was not so much a girlfriend experience. Correct. And like, and the thing is like I experienced, I mean, I did have a love story with Josie and Tyler and I had a love story with Sam too.

But what has emerged with CJ has been something very different than any of those other things. And that's been a real adjustment, I think, for, for all. of us, but for Paul, I think it's taken a lot more emotional work and it's hard, you know. Yeah. I'll never sugarcoat that. Yeah, yeah. How is he dealing with it now? And is that because, like, you have real feelings for CJ and, you know, where does your

husband fit in that? Like, is it like, yeah, you guys are equal? Do you have any kind, does he have any kind of like, oh, I'm always going to be the husband and this guy is the boyfriend or because you don't have those labels and you did say everybody's, you know, relationship needs to be equal. Is that why it's hard for him? Because he doesn't have sort of that special place and because you're moving in on CJ too?

Yeah, I think it feels that way for him a lot. It doesn't necessarily feel that way for me. But I think everybody struggles, like everybody struggles to find their place in this. Yeah. Even me. So like between Paul and CJ, I'm a hinge. And so for Paul, yeah, that's the insecurity, right? Like she's been with this person seven months.

and oh my God, like, I've been with her 18 years and like now I'm supposed to like share equally with this person. Like, are you kidding me? On the other side of that, CJ's like, oh, my God, I've only been with her seven months and I can never compare the 18 years. And here I am sitting squarely in the middle. At the beginning of one love story in the middle of another one, you can't compare your beginning with someone to the middle of someone else, right?

So they sit so apart for me and they're very unique and both of these men are very exceptional men and they give me very, very different things. They have some similarities, but they're very different people. And to me, and this is like one of the, like when I had the relationship with Sam, there was something about my relationship with Sam that kind of enhanced my relationship with Paul. And the relationship with CJ has that same kind of quality. It becomes very circular for me. So the kink dynamics, the emotional care, the physicality, the sides of myself, I'm able to express in both of these relationships. The two of them in tandem make me really feel like a whole person.

So I almost feel, I get to a point where I feel like one almost can't exist without the other. It's kind of like a balance. Yeah. And so it's really hard as a person in the center to kind of explain that nothing, nothing would ever feel right without both of these things existing. I need them both separately, but I also need them together. Yeah. But that might be the, you know, the thing that that reality, you know, is probably what

scares the shit out of your husband because you guys did exist for so long, you know, where he was your end-all be-all. So, you know, you could understand that's where that insecurity comes from because he knows that on some level, you know, he exists because these other people do and it's so good because of that, but it's not just him. You know what I mean? He doesn't have that anymore. Yeah.

And I think it's like there's, you know, Carl Young talks about like the paradox, like holding two separate and opposed truths, one in each hand. And if you can do that, like, that's the sweet spot. Like, that's what life is all about, right? Right. And to me, that characterizes basically everything about polyamory. It's like you're constantly called to hold these two really opposing things in your, one in each hand and like live with both of those truths simultaneously.

and that kind of is like the essence of like what we're called to do here on a constant basis. Right. And I think it's challenging. Like it breaks a lot of the things that we've been conditioned to learn and think. And for me, I love it. Like, and I don't just love it because like, oh, I've got these two relationships, right? Because the whole first year. I think intellectually, I think your brain is just wired to, you know, probably you need all of this to survive or you'd be so fucking bored.

I don't know. I just think, you know, you know what I mean? Like, I don't know. I just think you, you know, you are just that open that you have so much unoccupied space. You need all this. And if not, you would be going a little crazy. Maybe that's what was going on for you before you had that, you know, sort of that time that that thing shattered in you and you really came into your own, you know, you probably just needed a lot more. And that's how you're wired. And, you know, that's just who you are. And I think, you know, maybe. we, you know, I sometimes think like someone's a very high IQ, like really super smart. You know, sometimes you need more. Isn't that where that ignorance is bliss thing comes around? Oh, yeah. It must be. And I think you're right. I think that some people are uniquely wired for this lifestyle.

And I also think that it's kind of that, you know, CJ and I were talking about this more recently. Like, you know, back in my 20s, like I was like an acid dropping hippie. Right. And it was as though I woke up one day and I was like, oh my God, you fucking guys, you fucking guys at this concert right now, like high on acid, like, you're not doing anything. Like, I thought we were supposed to like take the drugs and then change the world. Where's the change the world part?

You know? And I felt really like jaded by that experience. Yeah. But when I think about like my vision in polyamory and like what what multiple relationships with like, highly functioning, intellectual, emotionally intelligent people who are good at fucking and fantasy and gardening and cooking and science and education. Yeah. Like when I think about the individual level that that could revolutionize things, that's like,

I think that this polyamory is a dropping acid version of being in relationships and learning about yourself and radicalizing like how we interact with each other. Right. I love that. I could totally see that and I, that makes sense. And I wonder how many acid dropping former hippies that thought that was like the top of the mountain or where they want to be realized that that's not fucking it. And they're, you know, doing this, you know, it's definitely.

Yeah. And everyone. But I love that not only is it right for you, but you're all so. going out and educating people about it, talking about it, and your voice, like I said, is very strong. And I, you know, I hope, like, let me ask you just one quick question about your husband. Do you, is he also, like, all those things that you are? Like, do you think, like, do you ever get worried that he can't do it in the long term? You know, I don't think so.

I mean, it's always a possibility, right? Right. But I don't know him. I mean, you feel like he's kind of, you, I don't know him. You just told me little things about him, but I'm just wondering, do you ever get nervous because he has all these bad experiences and he's still a little insecure? And, you know, he's not, it doesn't sound like he's living as like the best life as you are. Do you ever worry that he could say, hey, you know what, this isn't for me or it, or no. Of course, I think we always have to, a lot for the, for the, for the possibility.

that somebody could say, hey, this isn't it for me. But for me, like, when I think about the lives that Paul and I have led over the last 18 years and all of the amazing and great adventures we've had, I have great faith in, like, my ability to walk this path with him. Right. Like, I don't, I don't suspect that whatever the future holds, that it doesn't hold us being together. And I don't think that I, at several points in our life, people have thought that I overestimated his abilities and I don't ever think I have. I think I know exactly who he is. He is not

the fastest person to change, but I also don't think that if he wanted to stay in one position or be comfortable his whole life, there's no way he would have chosen to be with me. I get the chills like a couple times and all that stuff that you said. That is just like that's what I think was important to say. It's like you know him and you see through and you know that this is right for him. You know, because I think that some people would be confused because a couple little things,

you know, that were said. People could judge it and say like, hey, this is not fucking right for this guy. But you know him deeper and you've been with him so long that. The thing is at one point or another, I think that he will encounter like his his big love story in this.

Yeah. And like one of the things that I can't wait for is like that moment when he falls in love with somebody else and like the two of us are able to like comprehensively love him and he's able to see that through like a double one. Right. Mm-hmm. Because you know, you already kind of have that, right? Yes, I do.

And to be fair, like, Paul recently, like, made a joke to me. It wasn't necessarily a joke. He was a little frustrated when he said it. But he was like, I thought when we started this, we were going to get a second wife. No, we have a second husband. Right. And it's actually very true because, I mean, years and years before this ever started, we would say, like, oh, my God, how great would it be to have a second wife. And we like, there was a couple of brushes with people that we were like, I would just, can she just be our second wife?

So like, I know that these people exist out there. I've met them. Right. And we will find them. You'll get that second wife eventually. But right now, you're having fun, having your foursums. You have Heidi. You have CJ.

I hope people can keep track of all these people. Paul is the husband. Heidi is the, you know, the cream pie girl. The intimate friend. The intimate friend. She's going to love that. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh my God. Now tell everyone again where they could find you, where they could buy your zine to learn more and hear more about your story. Give out all that information. Yeah. So I'm on Patreon at Annie Undone. I have one tier. It's $5. It gets you on my close friends list and my long form essays and my playlist that I share from Spotify are all on my Patreon.

You can pre-order or order 24 hours by emailing me at Annieundun at gmail.com. As well, I'm on Instagram at Annie underscore Undone. And that's kind of where I'm at right now. 24 hours, I'm going to continue to print as long as there are orders coming in. How many pages is it, by the way? It's 88 pages. I think it's approximately 50 poems. And it's a, I'm really proud of this work.

It's good work. It's something that I just kind of poured all my raw feelings into. And it really came out as something raw and beautiful and very honest. And so if you want to hear the gamut of emotions that poured out of me in the first year and a half of polyamory, they are all there for you. Yeah, there you go. And most likely this is going to be air. This is going to air when it's already out there, right?

So they will be able to, you know, go directly. to you, it is available. Now they could purchase it from you. Do you only have like a certain amount? Like they got to fucking hurry up and get it? I printed 100. Okay. Initially,

those first hundred I am shipping out at $10, no shipping. The second round that I'm printing will include shipping. So if you get in on the first hundred, you don't have to pay shipping. And if you get in on the second hundred, you're going to have to pay $2. All right. Well, I know the timing about this and I know that I'm going to be airing this like right after this zine drop so you better fucking go and buy it now if you want to or else you're going to have to pay for shipping right yeah which is arguably not that bad it'll be worth it shut up i'm trying to sell

your zine don't cock block me it's a call to action we get to just tell them to fucking do it yeah yeah just do it just do it you're so you're so you're so the art as like no don't worry it still won't be a lot no i'm like the business person like shut the fuck up let's make them they buy it yeah that That's the incentive. I sell my original artwork on Instagram as well. And I can put custom messages like you're my favorite slut over top of them. Oh, there you go.

So go over to her Instagram, follow her. I'm going to have links to everything in the description. Thank you so much for calling in again. Thank you. Kathy. It's always a pleasure to talk to you. I love it so much. That's awesome.

Thanks, Annie and Don. Talk soon. I'm sure we'll talk again. Yes. Bye. Hey, everyone. Thanks so much for tuning in to this week's episode. If you want to follow the show, follow me at Strict Anonymous on Instagram or Twitter. That's at Strict Anonymous. If you are on YouTube, make sure to subscribe. I love YouTube as a platform for my show because people comment there and I try to reply back

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Patreon.com slash strictly anonymous podcast. That's patreon.com slash strictly anonymous podcast. The link is also in the description below. Thanks so much for listening. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available not only in paperback and ebook, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it.

The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang being girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person.

And they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person. And I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like Penthouse letter. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. 17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format. And finally, the audiobook is available coming out August 25th. But you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it. it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint. Okay. There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me. Okay. I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other.

And that's what you get to do there. You could post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total, strictly anonymous community. And you will leave. love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord. It's private, like I said. All you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook or the paperback. Send it to me at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. That's Strictly Anonymous Podcasts at gmail.com. And I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in.

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