Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 503 - Lee Hooked Up with a Couple and Now They're Poly

Episode Date: July 6, 2022

Lee hooked up with a couple and now they’re poly. How did he meet the couple? When did they all start hooking up? And how did they wind up all in a relationship together? Tune in to fond out plus hear all about how the couple were swingers when he met them, the swingers parties they threw and what went down, how they started having threesomes at first and how their intimate relationships evolved over time, when they fell in love with each other, when he decided to move in with them and work with the wife, their living arrangements and who has ex with who at what times, the jealousy that comes up, the other relationships they take part in outside their primary relationship, how and why their sex life has dwindled, what his family thinks of his relationship with the couple, what the neighbors and people in town know and don’t know about their arrangement and a whole lot more. To see anonymous pics of most of my other female guests + get early access to the show + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Here is your host, Kathy. Hey, welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast with Kathy. If you want to follow the Strictly Anonymous podcast on Instagram or Twitter, follow the show at Strict Anonymous. If you want to be on the show, you could always just shoot me a DM at either one of those places, or you could send me an email, Strictly Anonymous Podcast.g.m.com, or go to my website, Strictly Anonymous Podcast.com, and click on Be on the Show. This is a call-in show.

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you can do that. You could call 247. The numbers 347, 4203579. That's 347, 4203579. That number's in the description too. So listen, today I have on Lee. Now, Lee hooked up with a couple and it was just like a hookup. Some threesomes were going on. They were like swingers. They were way older than him. He talks about the age difference. And he was young. And he got into. the lifestyle was a little overwhelming for him because that wasn't his thing right this was like his first foray into the lifestyle with this couple and then like they wound up like loving each other he wound up in love with the woman she wound up in love with him how did that happen who said i love you first and then what happened afterwards you know he winds up moving in with them and they all live together and he thinks that nobody in town knows what the fuck is going on that's a funny thing that i get into because i'm like duh everybody knows he's from a small town they're all like in a relationship together

and they've been doing this for like 14 years okay and he talks about sort of the evolution like where are they now what are they do in the beginning what are they doing now I was like how the fuck does the sex work you know like who sleeps with who who's living where what's going down you know how often are they having it is it one big orgy or like every other relationship does a sex dwindle that's kind of the case in this relationship

and that's what's interesting about it because listen yeah they're polly and there's like another person involved in this and I think people think oh that happens is all about SCX but you know it's just a real relationship and it has it's the same kind of issues and stuff that other 14 year old real relationships

have and that's what we talk about so anyway I'm going to be right back on with Lee hi Lee welcome to the strictly anonymous podcast how are you today good thank you for having me no thank you for calling in because Lee you are in a polyamorous relationship for a long time.

I have had on a couple females. I once had a couple, like a poly couple. Many years ago, it was like the first one. And this was like during the time when it just started to become like something that people heard of. But it wasn't as popular as it is right now. And that was a long time ago. But I haven't had.

What? I'm like, yeah. Is it popular right now? Not popular, but it's more out there. Like it's definitely more out there. It's not mainstream. dream, but it's starting to be. Exactly. It's not like it was

seven years ago when nobody even fucking heard of it. And I knew what it was. Seven years ago. I've been in this relationship for 14. 14 years. Yeah. Pushing 15. So tell me how did you get into this lifestyle so early on before it was even known. Yeah.

So I wasn't really sure it was a thing. It started out like this is not the way we intended this relationship to go. It was supposed to be this kind of fun flame. and we met my girlfriend online. We met on an adult dating site. And her husband, they were swingers.

Oh, interesting. Yeah, that's how it started. You met them on an adult website, so she was married already. Now, what were you doing on there? Were you looking for a threesome? Well, I wasn't looking for a hookup with a couple. I was like, I'd been on that website for, God, since I was, I don't know, like, 18. when like the internet was still new.

And yeah, and she'd had been listed as a, her profile listed her just as female, not as a couple. And she said that she lived in my town, which she occasionally visited but didn't live there, but just because that's, I don't know, that's how she made her posting on the website. So I just emailed her and most of those websites are so full of shit and so full of fake people or bots or just completely,

be poor shit. So I didn't even think that I would even get a response. Yeah. But whatever. So I sent a message and I got a message back and I was like, oh, wow. She seems really nice and it was like a long thought out and you know, I'm not like, hey, let's fuck. It was like a well thought and I

sent, that's the way I composed my message to begin with. Not like, hey, want to hook up. Hey, here's a dick big. One quick question. I need to know. Were you just looking for a hookup or were you looking for a relationship and you were on an adult website because you wanted like a girl who was super open-minded.

I was on there. I was on there just pretty much looking for a hookup. But you didn't craft your emails that you were looking for a hookup. You went like, you pretended you. I mean, I was looking for a hookup, but if it turned into something else other than that,

I mean, you're on an adult website. I mean, come on. Like, why are you here? I'm not looking for love, you know?

That's what I meant. But you so you're, but she didn't see, she didn't come back to you like she was looking for a hookup. No, she was like, hey, I'm in a relationship, but I do still, like, meet other guys.

And I was like, okay, that sounds cool. At the time, I was in my early 20s. And I was like, oh, this could be fun. Yeah. Yeah. So we ended up, like, meeting. And we ended up, we did end up hooking up, if you want to call it that. What do you mean?

What went down? Did you, like, was her husband a cock and she saw you solo? Or did you do threesome with them? Because she's married. Yes. No, he's not. But he troubled her business quite a bit. She invited me up to their house for our first living.

And we ended up completely, like, hitting it off. She, like, met me at the door. And I was like, wow, holy crap, you are absolutely beautiful, number one. And she was smart. She was funny. She curses like a sailor. And, yeah, we just hit it off. And I spent the weekend. I think I just spent the night up there because I had to work the next day.

But I spent the night at her place. And we did have sex the first night we met. And she was more of a thing. Like I went with her. She had this thing she had to go to. So I went with her. And we just hung out. We went back to her house. And we were just sitting there on the couch. And I was like super nervous because I was like I'd never done anything like this before. And she's kind of looks over me. She's like, are we going to fuck or what's up with that? And I was like, yeah, let's go ahead and do that. We do have a little bit of an age barrier between us. When I met her, I was in, like I said, I think I was 23 or 24.

And she was 39. Oh, okay. Interesting. So the older woman you like. Yeah. I've always gravitated toward older women. Even when I was like even younger than that, like I always, my girlfriends were always two, three, four years older than me, never that many years. But I was like, why not?

I had the invitation. So I figured, why not, why not pursue this a little bit? Please, there are so many, like, you were just ahead of the times. All the young guys are now fucking 40-year-old women. They understand the benefits of it. No bullshit. A lot of less drama. Sometimes you don't need to have a relationship. But you were like doing what people, everyone does nowadays. But you were doing it back then. So here you are 23. You're with her. Your first experience, her husband is away. You're at her house.

You guys have sex and it's like instant connection. Yeah, pretty much. It didn't have that like, like, we did have that connection, but it wasn't that like immediate like, I left that night. It was I love you kind of thing. Yeah. It was, it started off just as like, hey, we can be friends and friends with benefits. And this could be really cool.

Yeah. But, but yeah. And so things just went from there. Like we, like I said, we had that first meeting. It was completely fantastic. I drove the two hours back home, like on Cloud 9. And I was like, wow, that was amazing. She's super cool.

I can't wait to see where this goes down in the future. And like I said, they were swingers. I did eventually meet him down the road. It was a couple weeks later. through a small like swingers party at their house and she invited me and like I said everyone I went and it had been a really bad day for me that day I didn't get up there until much much later and my roommate at the time was in a horrible accident and she was in the hospital and by the time I got that well that taken care of and got up there it was like super late at night

and she she knew what was going on and I she met me at the door and almost completely naked and just like pulled me into that house and was like hey let's introduce you to everybody which was kind of weird i'd never been in that kind of environment situation before and it was super cool everyone was really nice and there of course there were people like having sex in different rooms and people most people were mostly naked and it was like i said it was a whole new experience for me yeah so i ended up staying the entire weekend up there after that happened because like I said my roommate was in the hospital. But what kind of sex did you have? Did you hook up with her? Did you hook up with other people there?

Yes, of course I hooked up with her. Her husband and I had a, we did have a threesome the following day. I did hook up with another person there that that was, that I would, I think I had, it was another friend of hers that she had mentioned before, but I had never actually met. But, yeah. Yeah, it was, like I said, it was a really interesting, coming from being pretty vanilla my entire life. Yeah, you were young still. Walking into that was a little bit of a culture shock for me. I was like, whoa, what is going on here? Yeah.

But it was new and it was exciting and it was fun. It was a little scary, too. Like I said, I'd never been in a situation like that before. Was it a turn-on? Yeah. It definitely was a turn-on. Like I said, it was so new and so born to me that I was really trying to wrap my whole brain around it. And like I said, I was a little upset because when it happened to my roommate at the time,

and I was just like trying to get my mind off of that whole situation. And this was a completely fantastic escape from it. But yeah, so I ended up staying the entire weekend up there with her and her husband, like just the three of us. and it was like I said it was completely I was a little bit in the back of my mind what the hell are you doing this is not normal but after spending the entire weekend up there

I felt super comfortable with them it was it was fun like we hung out we cooked dinner together we watched movies we're having sex with each other but we're like just acting like normal people and we still have this side benefit this is really cool

but yeah so You had that weekend. But what about the sex? Like, how does that go down? Like, do you and the husband both go with her? Like, at that time, yes. It's gravitated over the years to, we don't really have a lot of threesomes.

It's been quite a few years since we've done that. And so we kind of have most of the- She's, wait a second, because I'm just thinking for some reason, I'm just assuming that at some point she leaves that guy and she's with you and you guys are together now. but no, this 14-year relationship is with the two of them. Yeah.

Oh, okay. I don't know why I didn't understand that. I think I just didn't read next thing. That's my problem. I'm the interviewer. I'm supposed to get these facts out from you. So you're still with them so many years later. You meet them as a couple.

And 14 years later, we're skipping ahead, but we're going to go back there. But you are still with them as a couple. Did threesome's together, but now you do more. You just hook up together. Okay, I was a little confused. Yeah, no, it's gravitated to more of the, like, we have, like, our alone time and they have their alone time. But it's, but we all still live in the same house. Oh, you moved in with them.

Yeah, that's, yeah, this is, yeah, this is where it's going to get interesting. Yeah, because I wonder, like, do your parents come over for Thanksgiving? That's the kind of things I want to know. Well, we can get into that. I was living, like I said, I was living in a couple towns away. And she was actually looking to open up a new business closer to where I lived than to where she lived. So her husband traveled for work quite a bit and was gone for extended periods of time. And so the time came where she had started and opened this business closer to where I lived.

And unfortunately, I lost my father shortly after our month or two, probably like three or four months after I met her. So I had to leave and go deal with that. And she ended up being like an emotional support human in my life during me. And that's probably a horrible term for that. She was the only person that I could talk to during that whole ordeal that just seemed to get it and seemed to get me. And it was during that whole time, like we said, we'd have this relationship going on for like a couple months.

And while I was away dealing with that, it was just one of those, like, one night we were just sitting there talking. And I went to hang out the phone. said I love you. And she was like, I love you too. And we, I hung the phone up and went, did I just fucking say that? And I was like, the next day I, we were talking again, and I was like, hey, so last night when I hung up the phone and I said, I love you and you said you love me back, you really mean that? And she was like, yeah, do you really mean that? And I was like, yeah, I think I do. It was kind of one of those moments. And when I got back home, three or four weeks later,

it was just completely the relationship just completely jelled together like I said I don't think either of us intended it to go that way but it's just how it happened so we can fast forward a little bit like I'm still

living like about instead of living two hours away I'm now living like 30 minutes away and I come down to visit her where she's staying I'm trying not to give up too many locations and we kind of live in a small town not that I think anyone down here

listens would listen to this don't they see you living with them the three of you guys I mean you live together so people must fucking talk I'm sorry to say I would be like what's going on over there I hate to say but people in your small town know I don't know

you'd be surprised I'm sure there's a lot of talk but I don't think anybody actually gets it a lot of people for a while thought I was their kid that's what I mean but when they find out that you're not they're like okay then what what other kinds of things make sense here. And then their minds start making up

crazy things. And the only thing that makes sense is that you're fucking them. Come on. Yeah, as it ended up, she moved closer to me. And... Out away from her husband? Yeah. They were planning to relocate down closer to

me permanently anyway. So she moved first. Yeah, she moved first. And they sold their house. I went up and helped them move. They moved in to a rental house and as things started to go, like my current employment that where I was working started to fall apart and it was over that industry at the time. So I ended up going to work for her. I was still living 30 minutes away and after doing that for a couple months, they were

like, hey, moving in with us. And I was like, interesting ideas. and I weighed the pros and cons And I was living by myself at the time Trying to pay the mortgage And the bills and all that stuff And I found myself staying with them More than I was at home anyway Yeah

So I said fuck it And sold my house And Moved in with them Now I'm assuming at this point You have friends and stuff You're a young guy Do any of your friends

At this point know what the fuck's going on Because now you're like moving out and in with this couple. Do you tell anybody this stuff? Yes. I had quite a few friends. At the time, I didn't really explain to just like social friends that you go out and you see him at the bar.

Hey, what's going on? No, I don't know. Did somebody anyone know? I don't care about who didn't know. Did anybody actually know? Yes. My friends that I hung out with all the time and my neighbors where I lived, I told them. what was going on and they were kind of like 14 years ago they were like man you do you man

that's cool because you're like i'm moving in with this couple i'm dating the wife and i'm going to move in with them and i'm sleeping like that's like the story exactly and they were like my best friend he was just like hey man he's like not exactly for me but as long as you're happy whatever yeah that's crazy so you move in with them and i ended up and i started working with her So not only did we live together, we also work together, which sometimes makes for an interesting dichotomy at work. I'm not going to lie. I'm sure there's a lot of talk at work that we don't hear.

Oh, my God. Yes. Everybody knows what's going on, okay? I just newsflash. At your work, at your house. You guys don't really hide it. You're like, you know. Yeah, well, we don't go out and like broadcast it.

It doesn't matter. I can always tell if people have fucked. There's like, there's a, like the space between people that I'm. have had sex and not have sex is always a lot smaller. You could just tell. I'm sure you guys, you stand closer together than normal people would. I'm sure,

like, you can't help that stuff. I'm sure there's subtleties that, that pick up, you know, yeah, I'm sure that they talk. But yeah,

so I ended up moving in with them. And now you're working with them. You move in with them. Now, we're in the house. How does the living arrangements go. They're in their bedroom. You have your own bedroom or are you all in the same bedroom? Yeah. I have, there's a small apartment on like the backside of the house. It's not really connected.

Yeah. And I moved in there essentially a small, like I said, it's just a small apartment. That's great. Attached to the house. So I've got like my own space. I'll share like the main common areas. The living room, the kitchen, all that stuff. But so it works out pretty well. And they didn't make you pay rent. Oh, yeah. I help out. Oh, you do. Okay. I didn't know. I didn't know. I was thinking like, oh, at 20-something years old, these older people are letting you live with their house, rent-free, why not move in? I don't know. I help out and like I cook most of the meals in the house and we all work on the yard and upkeep of the property and stuff like that. Essentially we are like kind of, we turned into this kind of just small family.

Yeah. And her husband and I, it's like, he's like having a big brother. He's super cool. like I said, we go, we do stuff together without her. So we know, it's not like we all like, I just have time with her and she has time with her and so on. And we go and do stuff together. And we do stuff as a family. There's also the dichotomy.

Like, we all still have the ability to see other people if we want to. Yeah, that's what I want to know. And they were swingers having these swinger parties. Is that stuff still going on? No, that's camped down over the years, especially in the place where we live. It's a smaller community. There's not as large amount of people. It's like an older community down here.

And especially like when we moved down, in the earlier days when like I first used we did have a few parties here. But like I said, over the years, that's ramped down quite a lot. bit. Now, do, have you seen a lot of other women? And because it's a Polly relationship, it's different than swingers. Swingers, they might just have to be emotionally attached to each other, but they could go have sex with other people, but their primary relationship is the person that they're with. Now, with Polly couples, I would assume that you not only could hook up with other people, you guys could form intimate, emotional relationships with other people. Right. And I have

branched out a little bit. I haven't had anything super serious. I've had a couple, met a couple other people and had sex with a couple other people, but not, like I said, not like super emotional connections, like dating, but not like very... Not falling for them. You don't fall in motion. You haven't been emotionally attached to anyone except her since you've been with her. Well, no, I won't say that. I've had, like, I've been emotionally attached to some people, but And then again, when you're in a polyamous relationship and you're trying to date somebody that's still on the outside and not really knowing that. And then you try to bring them into it. Like, hey, that's always a fun conversation.

Hey, I really like you. So there's this thing. You try to talk. And then, yeah, a lot of times that goes. And it's not only like, I'm sorry, but it's not only like I have another girlfriend. You're like, I have another girlfriend and she's got a husband. and she's the 20 years older than me and I live with them and it's a lot. Right.

Yeah. So that tends to sometimes go, as I said, go sideways on you. It was one girl that I really liked that we were just like casually flirting and just not having sex, but making out a little bit. I really liked her. And then I tried to talk to her about my current situation and be like, look, I really like you and I'd like to take this a little bit further. But before we do anything, you need to know this.

And yeah, we didn't need, it ended fine. But it was, she was like, absolutely not. It was, that is not a thing. Yeah. And I was like, and I'm like, okay. Sorry. What about your girl that you're with? Has she had relationships with other people?

And if so, how have you felt about that? Yeah, she has. She had another boyfriend that was, they were pretty serious, not like he's going to move in with us. And I liked him pretty well. Like, he was always very nice to me. They're not currently seeing each other anymore. He moved to another city considerable distance away and the relationship just didn't work out. But yeah, she saw him for two or three years.

But let me ask about that. when there is another third person in a Polly relationship. When she gets that boyfriend, is it all about communication? Like, does she tell you about it? Oh, listen, I just want you to know. There's this guy. Does she bring him home? Do you watch them have sex?

How do you navigate that whole situation? And that's the question is maybe I, over the years, have I always handled that? The answer to that is no. Yeah, that's what I would think. that's why I asked because I think what's interesting or why a lot of people look at a poly relationship and they're like, I could never do that because what would bring up these kinds of insecurities and stuff. And I think that's always important. Because I was wondering, like, do you just not care? Here is this woman that you really care about. And I understand

you went in, she's got this husband. He's already there. So I could understand why you're, you could wrap your head around that because he was there first. But maybe a new person coming in might scare you a little bit or make you feel insecure. or get upset. And I'm not going to lie. Yeah. It does happen. Yeah.

Like there have been times that like she's like I'm going on a date and I just like every other human being just I have emotions like everybody else. Yeah. I can feel a little jealous. I can feel a little upset about it. But over time I feel like I've gotten better about it. But yeah, have I always handled it very. well. The answer to that is absolutely not. I've handled it like very poorly several times. But how did you get through it with her? Was it a matter of like just open communication? Like how do

people get through those bumps in the road? I wish I had the perfect roadmap for it, but I don't. But I feel like communication was yeah is a hundred percent. Like this is how I feel. This is how I feel. and just having that open line of communication is paramount to keeping our relationships strong. And also I would assume, because I feel like a lot of people do this wrong in relationships where like the one person comes to the other person with an insecurity. And then like the other person puts them down for it or gets defensive about it. And I think that if you, instead of doing that, accept their insecurity and help to give them reassure. to make that go away.

That shit goes a long way. And I think people just do the opposite all the time. Oh, 100%. And I think she has been very open about that with me and being like, hey, look, just because I'm going to go on into this date with this guy does not make me love you any less. I love you so much. That's just, it is what it is.

And so it's not like, I'm leaving you because you're not enough for me. it's not that kind of mentality. But she talks it through instead of shutting you down, telling you like you're not allowed to be jealous or whatever. And that I think unfortunately is what people do when someone comes to their partner with insecurities. A lot of times they shut them down or they make them feel like they're not allowed to have those feelings. But they are. And all you need to do is like give reassurance throughout that and let that person feel those insecurities and talk them through with them and help them. And over time, look, you've been able to get past it.

because of that. Yeah. And like I said, she hasn't dated anybody in, like seriously dated anybody in a couple years, you know, with COVID and all that stuff going on. And like I said, have I always handled it? The answer is no. You always had feelings of, feelings of jealousy, stuff like that, like anybody would have, especially not, like I said, there's no real roadmap for this. there's no like, hey, this is how you handle a polyamorous relationship. This is steps one through 10.

It's not that way. No, but I really, my other question was the sex, the SCX. I need to get some of those situations, like the need to get an idea of what goes down, right? So you're in a poly relationship. We're going to get back to the whole emotional complexity of it. But what about the intimacy that goes on? When she has these other boyfriends or you have these girlfriends, does everyone get together? Does you keep it separate?

Are there some sort of boundaries that you have? I think that the boundaries have just set themselves. Like, it hasn't been like, we haven't sat down and, like, really discussed it. But it's more of a, I'm keeping this relationship over here and our relationship. is over here. So essentially we kept it separate from like our like home core life. You know what I'm saying? And that's just the way that like it's worked out whether it's been through.

But I just want to know. So you've never in your sex life, you only have basically have sex with her like vanilla sex in your room separately. Are there any kind of hot scenarios going on? This was a couple that was swingers. They're like like, are you like ever having three sons with the husband or are you guys, How do even you guys navigate your sex together? Because you all live together.

Does she come down to your apartment? Do you go up to their room? I go to her room quite a bit. Like when he's home and he's in town, they sleep together in their room. And when he's not in town, I will go sleep in her room with her. But it's, yeah, I wish I could tell you it's this some crazy. And like I said, as we've gotten older, our sex life has ramped down a little bit. It's not that we don't have sex anymore. It's just not. No, that happens in any relationship.

Right. You've been together for a long time. It's no different than, I think that's interesting that to point that out that just because you're a poly couple, it's not like there's just like a fucking all the time. You're not really swingers anymore. You used to have threesomes with the husband there. Are you still doing that or she has sex with him and you stay out of the picture and you have sex with her? Yeah. That's what it's come down to. Like, we just realized. that it wasn't exactly, I don't know, it wasn't like pleasing all three of us. So we figured that it would just be better to just one-on-one kind of intimacy,

is the appropriate term. But yeah, we, in the beginning we did for a while, you know, because I met them and they were swears. Like I said, we had house parties and like my apartment. There was a, we had like, I don't know, how many people in here, like, maybe like eight people and everyone's like on couches and everything like that. But over the years, it just unfortunately, unfortunately and unfortunately, just dwindled. Being busy, getting older, which sucks. How old are you now? Yeah, I'm 40.

Oh, God, you don't have that oldest. But she's got to be like 60 now. No, she's 53. Oh, okay. And he's 52. But just, with the wear and tear on our bodies and what we do on a daily basis, doing anything else aside from like our daily routine. Like I said, it's so cliche. No, it's not. It just happens in any relationship and what you're trying to say.

And what I think is an interesting point. Is that just because it's Polly and there's more than one person involved? It's not like there's more sex or anything. It's like every other relationship. Essentially, he and I are both married to the same. person, essentially, although not on paper. But yeah, I hate to say we're like an old married couple, and we certainly fight like it. But it's not like the, I hate to say this, like back in the beginning, like when you're at first in a relationship, like everything is new and everything's exciting.

And you just want to jump each other's bones like 24-7. And absolutely that happened. But, you know, over time. Yeah, no, we already got that point out. You don't have to keep talking about. You're like making it so depressing. I totally understand. Stop going on. on and on about how no sex is involved. You're not really. There's nothing new there. Yeah, we get that. But so talk about that thing.

Like, I mean, if you're living with this couple, you've been with them for so long. What does your family think about this situation? Yeah. So my sister and her have met. She's met my brother-in-law. We actually all went to a wedding together a couple years ago. And my sister was not happy about it at first. she was like, this is, what the actual fuck are you doing?

And I told her, I was like, look, I'm happy, she's happy, he's happy, what else do you want? Like, the, just because it doesn't fall into the norm of everyday life that most people think of is married, husband, wife, picket fence, kids, what have you. just because it doesn't fall into the social norms doesn't mean it's not wrong and we didn't speak for a while and when that first came out and so she finally came around and was like hey everybody's happy and you're happy and she's happy and he's happy and you're all living in kind of this not necessarily harmony because like I said we all fight like normal people there's no there's no just because we're in a polyamination doesn't mean we all fight but she's just because we're in a polyamination doesn't mean we all fight but she's came around and I have a cousin who I'm really close to. He and I are the black sheep of the family which is why that we get along so well. And he knows and we all went and stayed with him when he lived a couple hours away. We went to see a show and we all stayed with him and his family. And my friend, another friend of mine who I'm really close to him from high school, moved to the same state that I'm currently in.

And he came down and visited and was like, dude, what's going on? And I was like, no, man, it's totally cool. And he hung out for like a week or so and was like, yeah, man, I can see it. I can see this. He's like, everybody gets along and everyone contributes. And it's just like having another family. So that's where I'm at with it. It's you don't pick, you don't pick your.

family, but you can sometimes choose your family. But you do pick your partners. They're not your parents, but do you look at them in that way because they're older? Is it some sort of like replacement that way? No, not so much. He and I have a relationship where it's more like, like I said before, like more brothers. Yeah, that's cool. Yeah.

And like, I never had a big brother growing up and he's super smart and super capable. And I've learned a ton from him over the years. And I like to feel like I reciprocated that in some way, shape, or form. I'm not like a fucking invalid or anything. I'm not your average, I guess I fall right on the edge of millennial. I'm not your average, like, person who was born 40 years ago that can't swing a fucking hammer or anything. But yeah, it's, it was, it, the relationship has just evolved over the last, like, 14 years to where it's, like, like, it's, like, a complete, cohesive, like, family unit. But listen, let me ask you this because, like, I wonder, like, just, like, if you could have

whatever you wanted, like, say I gave you, like, a magic one and said you could have this relationship either be like this or be with her alone. Would you choose this? Because to me, what I typically get from poly people is they all really want to have, like, multiple relationships with multiple people. Like, is this a Polly relationship? Or do you just happen to fall in love with somebody who was married to somebody else? So you deal with it because that's the situation and the cards that you're dealt.

I think that there's two different situations that could be going on. I'm just wondering which one it is for you. Wow. Face with both of those things, I honestly would like to keep things the way they are. Like I still actively pursue other women. Yeah. She actively pursues other men. He has a girlfriend that comes and hangs out on occasion.

I wouldn't, I honestly wouldn't change anything from our current standpoint. Yeah, that's great. Yeah, that's what I didn't. I couldn't tell by the way you were talking. It sounded like you guys developed into this like boring ass vanilla family. Like you're not. telling me he's got a girlfriend. She still sees other people. You're still fucking other girl. So you do like that you have the variety and freedom yet you have like love in your

life and a real intimate relationship. We have this like core three. Yeah. Uh-huh. When everyone is free to do whatever, whatever, not whatever they want, but as long as we talk to each other. Yeah. And everybody agrees. And like certainly like she has brought people home that I have completely disapproved of. I'm like, you are a piece of shit. And they're both more actively involved in seeing other people because I live in an area where it's actually very hard for me to meet other people in, not necessarily in my age group, but it's like a very old.

You already said it. There's a lot more, it's more, but skews older. So there's not a lot of options for you, but there are for them. exactly and when you get into like i said nowadays everything is like so internet based when it comes to like dating and then you have to find that person who is cool with the lifestyle that you have so you're pigeonholed into this like i have to find people that would be okay with this and and find people that are on the up and up that aren't like i don't want to be involved with anyone What about the, I get it.

Yeah. But what about, I know, I get it. What about the, you used to be on that adult website, those kind of things still exist nowadays, and there's even more of them. Are you on any of those kind of app? I'm still on the one we met on. And I have a presence on another one.

AFF has been around forever. So that's where we initially met. And I'm also on SLS as well. Life is another one that I'm on, but I find it horribly difficult to navigate. so I'm not really on that very much. And what do you have in your profile? Like what do you say you are a polyamorous guy looking for?

Exactly. That's what I say. I'm upfront and honest about it because if you hide any of that, it's a moot point. When someone meets you and you claim to be single and you're not. And they're like, oh, wait, you have a girlfriend. You live with her and her husband? I don't want any part of that. Yeah.

You mean, you have to be up front and honest about it, which makes it also difficult because people will, like, go through your profile and be like, yep, absolutely not. No, that is way too much for me, no. So they keep swiping or go on wherever. But I have to tell you, because I've been doing my show for like seven or eight years now. And like I said, many years ago, I had a poly couple. And it was like something that really wasn't talked about. I just feel like the younger generation coming up are much more open to all these different things. And they're trying out all kinds of things. So if you fish in that 20-something-year-old pond, you're going to find a lot more women that are like, sure, totally cool. They're all like very open-minded.

They're not really looking to lock themselves down. They're really thinking out of the box as far as, you know, relationships are concerned. So I don't, I think you're just living in a place, like you said, you're in that fucking retirement home that you don't have those people from that generation. And some of the ones that I do, some of the stuff

like that are definitely much more open. Yeah, they're much more open. We work on a lot of like GtQ people. Exactly. Gender fluid people. And they're not going to

blink an eye at your situation. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. They'll like you more. Although they do like to speculate about us, which is really funny. Of course. So how could you not? It's so it's like the elephant in the room. Come on.

Oh, it totally is. Yeah. Like I said, it's funny on a daily basis because you can see like that she and I have this dichotomy at work where we can fight like an old married couple and yell and scream at each other. they're like wait I could never say that to my boss that's what I mean I'm sorry it's the like I said remember before I was like oh there's like an unspoken kind of space that if you fuck before you cross lines you're more comfortable being closer to someone than not and then also like what you just said like I would totally be like these people are fucking because they don't argue like that makeup like something's going on here

everybody knows but no one's talking about it yeah but nobody talks about and one of the girls at work was the other week was like anytime we hire somebody new, I'm just going to make up I'm just going to say that you and to try and explain your situation that you and you and her are, and I'm like, I go, you know what, girl,

make up the most outlandish shit you can think of. In the back of my mind, I'm like, because whatever you're about to say is probably true. I know, I got it. The most outlandish, the most outlandish is the truth. That's the truth. I mean, I'm like,

ahead, tell any new people, tell them that, like, we live together and we fuck all the time. Yeah. Yeah, I'm part of the time. But yeah, they're fucking. And, but yeah, it's, it is funny. And then to see some of the other people, like, in our community and stuff like that, that, like, for a while think that, like, on their kid and shit is absolutely hysterical to me sometimes. Yeah, of course.

Listen, you have to understand that because you are keeping. something that typically people don't keep a secret. Most people, if like she was working with her husband and it was just her husband, nobody keeps that a secret. Nobody says no one not like doesn't tell their co-workers that this is their fucking husband or their boyfriend. Nobody keeps that a secret. So when you do, you have to understand you're putting out like a vibe that people are

going to pick up on it. And it probably creates a little bit of a weird vibe. It's probably a little weird. And it's probably a lot weirder in their minds than if it was just. out in the open, but you guys choose to keep it really on the DL. That just adds to it.

But there's no way that people don't know. But you guys want to keep it separate. Normally people don't not tell those things, you know? Yeah. Living in a small community that like can, like again, small town. Like everybody knows

everything about everybody. But that's what I'm trying to say. People know. Everybody knows about you guys. okay everybody fucking knows no I'm really serious and actually I'm just telling you everybody already knows you're not fooling anyone

yeah we're probably not fooling no oh no someone's gonna write in stop someone's gonna write into my show and be like I live in his fucking town I know exactly who you're talking about there are the people in the flores down the thing and we know about that couple we all know about that family everybody fucking knows oh my

one of my neighbors who they're relatively new. They moved in like two or three years ago. They live across the way from us. And we've had them over and stuff like that. And she totally called me out on it. And was like, and she's also in the lifestyle a little bit like the swinger lifestyle. And she totally called me out on it and was like, yeah, you guys, you put off that vibe. And I'm like, what? Really? She's like, oh yeah, 100%. You put off. And I'm like, and she's like, yeah. She's like, I told, she's like, I saw it from like day one. And I'm like, ah, gotcha.

Cool. Thanks. I'm like, don't go tell nobody. Yeah, but like you tell people by everything you do. You're not like really keeping it a secret, but you are keeping it a secret. But there lies the issue. But if it's not an issue for you, it's fine. Because those people are filling in the blanks themselves.

I think probably most people already know you're not fooling anyone. But it's your choice to keep it on the. DL, it's your thing, but there's, like I said, most people would know. I mean, you're right. And being like business owners in the small community. Listen, people know and your business hasn't gone under. No, people already know. A very conservative community.

It's okay, but people still go to your business and they already know. What I'm trying to say is that if you came out, there wouldn't be any change because they already know and you exist and you're okay. Do you know what I'm saying? You are probably 100%. Yeah, your house hasn't been lit on fire. Your business hasn't shut down because everyone shunned you. At the end of the day, this is what I always say, and I think it's very true.

And then we're going to wrap this up, is that we all spend our lives worrying so much about what other people think. It's human nature. But if you really think about it, even when you think of yourself, like whenever you judge somebody else or think about somebody else and you're thinking about them, you can't think about somebody else for more than like five minutes. And then you go back to thinking about yourself. Everybody just thinks about themselves. Like no one's going to sit around with that information that you guys have a poly relationship for longer than five minutes. Okay. Then they're going to get back

to their favorite topic, which is themselves. That is just human nature. Everybody's like that. Nobody's going to really care that much. That is one of the most poignant things I've heard in a long time. like no you are totally correct. Right. Think about it. That was very well said. Yeah. And you're under, well, and she is like, I don't give a fuck if anybody finds out. Yeah, good for her.

And like, it's so funny that like I'm like completely conservative like, you know, we can't let on it. And she's like, I don't fucking care. Yeah. And you shouldn't because remember what I said. And when you hear this playback, you'll hear from this. And honestly, I sometimes think like when you don't fill in the blanks, people, People fill them in with actually way worse scenarios than what's going on. Because like what people are really thinking in that house is going on is like fucking orgies,

threesomes, crazy sexual stuff. And what's the truth? Nothing really. You're like an old married couple, but there happens to be one extra person there. But you know what? They're thinking it's a lot more kinky and perverse because they don't have the details. So they're filling them in and people get created. Well, people get very creative.

And trust me. I'm all down with Orgy. And all that shit. Yeah. What are they going to start back up? I mean, I've done that. Yeah. I need to get, you know, I need to get a knee replacement.

And then we can work on that. But I'm just saying that, yeah, you should eventually come out. I hope that you do. I wonder if I'm going to get anyone that's going to be right in and be like, wow, I heard that episode and I live in that town and I know those people. If you do, definitely, definitely let me know. I will. Because that would be interesting. I will.

Like I said, my lady, my neighbor lady that called me out was on one of the same websites that that we were on. She's like, yeah, I figured that was you. And I'm like, great. Thanks. Yeah. Thank you so much for calling in and telling your story. Listen, I could talk to a hundred people that claim to be the same way and everybody has

like their own unique story. I've talked to other, I haven't talked to a lot of polyamorous people. Your story is very different than somebody else's story, which is super interesting. I've always, I've had a lot of female polyamorous girls. on recently. One of them's coming out this Sunday, Annie. But yours is like from the guy with a couple. And I think that was super fascinating. So thanks so much for calling it and show. No, no, I really appreciate it. And like I said, I found your podcast by accident. And I listened to a couple of the episodes. And I was like, wow. I'm like, number one, you're an amazing interviewer. Oh, thank.

You could really get it out of people. So thank you for trying to get information out of me. But no, it's like it was just a podcast that's completely different and just super cool. There's nothing else out there like this. I love that. Because I don't go out listening so I don't never know. You know what I mean? No. Really, you're the only game in town who's willing to talk to people and like be patient with them and like explore all the different varieties of like human sexuality, which I'm formally.

a psychology major in college. So it's super, it was super interesting to listen to a bunch of your stuff. So I really appreciate you like having me on to tell my story. And I really appreciate you like putting out content like that. Awesome. It's just super cool. Yeah, that's great.

Listen, I'm the, I have the same brain. I didn't take psychology in school, but I would have if I felt like as a psychologist, I could have told people what to do. But I, when I found out I wasn't allowed to, I was like, fuck that. But I have, I like psychology. I love that. That's why I never have, you could say I'm a good interviewer, but I never have

like one thing written down about somebody. Like I love getting on the phone. And then my curiosity just brings up the questions because I'm naturally curious about people and love peeling back the layers. And it's always a new story. It's always, like I said, it's always something new. Like that's why I was excited. I talked to, oh, this is a guy that's Polly. What is that all about from his perspective? And I love that it's, oh, 14 years later. or that's also interesting where you really see that even this kind of situation that you think is so off the wall and like all those people in your town are thinking behind your back like this is some crazy sex filled romp it's like in every other relationship where things you fall to the wayside and you're in your routine and everything and that's the kind of stuff that I find interesting and I think other people don't take into consideration but that's real life you know what I mean and that's what I like I like real shit and it is it is it is real life and it is real life and And like I said, I know people like want to think whatever they want to about polyamorous people. Like we're really just like everybody else.

It's not some like crazy orgy every night. We make, we cook chicken breasts and watch fucking This Is Us. Yeah. And that is you. That's your This Is Us. That's what you're doing. But there's just an extra person there in your guy situation and other people. But yeah, you listen to this Sunday.

It's Annie. She's very into polyamory. She speaks a lot on it. She's actually like that's like her mission. So you'll love her episode. And thanks again for calling in. Would we call you again? What the fuck's your name?

You said to call me Lee. Oh, yeah, Lee. Okay. Thank you, Lee. All right. Have a good rest of your day. Thank you. Bye, bye.

All right. Bye-bye now. Hey, everyone. Thanks so much for tuning in to this week's episode. If you want to follow the show, follow me at Strict Anonymous on Instagram or Twitter. That's at Strict Anonymous. Okay. I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession,

Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available not only in paperback and e-book, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang being girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person. And they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person. And I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. 17 of them. They're really. short chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format. And finally, the audio book is available coming out August 25th. But you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or

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