Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 528 - Dark Horse is a Successful, Serial Cheater Addicted to Picking Up Women

Episode Date: September 14, 2022

Dark Horse is a successful, serial cheater addicted to cheating and he called in to talk all about it. When did he start cheating? Why does he cheat? And, how did he figure out how to do it so successfully? Tune in for all the details that include how he knows cheating is wrong but does it anyway, why he can’t live without it, how he has turned his cheating into a successful blog, how his cheating honed his skills for picking up women, his method of head, heart , bed and why it works, how he learned being honest about being married attracts better partners, his tricks he uses to not get caught, why he doesn’t consider himself a “cheater,” how and why he considers cheating a drug, his past and ow it contributes to his never ending appetite for women, how he teaches men to have better game and what thats all about and a whole lot more. You can find his website here: https://cheatershandbook.com **To see anonymous pics of most of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. The Craigslist is definitely like the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Singapore or Thailand. You can't not do it.

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And I do text those people to be on the show. So if you're also, you know, if you don't want to send me an email, you could do that as well. Okay, what else do I want to promote? Oh, if you're listening on a podcast app, make sure to subscribe to my show, follow it. Give me a five-star review if you love my show. Today I have on Dark Horse. Now listen, Dark Horse emailed me.

He's like this guy that has this cheating handbook thing. And I was like, at first I was kind of like, okay, like this is going to be like one of these experts. It's going to have this formula. And he's selling something. He's not going to really give anyone any for me. because he wants you to go there and buy something or whatever. But it was a totally different situation than what I thought.

I mean, this guy was great. Yeah, he does have something that he sells. He is a fucking cheater that teaches people how to cheat the right way. But he's also turned his business into something where he actually helps single people to pick up chicks. Okay. Like it kind of morphed into that and he talks about how that happened. But what I loved about this conversation and this guy. is dark horse is a

serial cheater okay like the kind of cheater that I say is the worst kind okay and I give it to him in this podcast like I mean I tell him how I feel he's totally like yeah you're fucking right I mean it's a very open conversation he's cool you know he's not like defensive

about what he does or whatever but he is like I said very smart he's been cheating since the dawn of time he talks about why he cheats he cops to feeling like it's probably because he's broken and he's got this vapid hole inside of him and he's trying, you know, he loves the girlfriend experience. This is not a guy that's like, yeah, I cheat and I just see experts, I'm escorts. You know,

it's not transactional sex. This guy's having, uh-uh, this guy likes the girlfriend experience. He knows how to get these girls that he's having affairs with, affairs, okay, to really fall for him. And that's how his business kind of turned into like him teaching guys how to pick up more checks because he's like a master at all this time. He needs to have other women in his life besides his wife. He talks about that need, why he does it. He talks about his relationship with his wife. He talks about how he started his business. It wasn't really on purpose. He started a blog and he started to write about it. He has this whole secret life. There is one person that knows about his life and we talk about that, his assistant. You're going to have to listen to all of it. But he's really

interesting, like I said, I love this story because he is somebody that is an expert now on cheating, but he doesn't talk like one. I mean, he does in that. He's very smart and well-spoken, but he's not like a fucking robot. You know what I mean? He's not like just trying to sell you shit. I don't even know what he sells. It's not like I said. It's not like he has a handbook or anything that you could buy. He sells his services. It's all customized to whatever you're looking for. I think you're going to want to check him out after you listen to his. conversation because he's super interesting and he's very smart. His website is cheatershandbook.com, but you're going to get the scoop here first. You're going to hear all about his life story as well as

his blog and all that good stuff. So I'm going to be right back on with Dark Horse. Hi, Dark Horse. Welcome to the strictly anonymous podcast. Dark Horse, the cheating guru. You're like a cheating guru, is that correct? Oh my God. Yeah, so I've been described by a couple of newspapers as the hitch for the cheating world. Certainly not a guru, but I know a fair bit about it. Right. Now, how did you get into the business of teaching people how to cheat? I mean, that's like your thing. You teach people or you have a handbook like, you know, how to cheat and get away with it. Right. So it all actually happened very recently. So I'm a London-based business. I travel a lot for work. And because I've been cheating for so long, and it's the type of thing you can't really trust people with, you can't really tell your friends about it, you can't really tell anyone about it. I decided to start a blog just to have some sort of outlet to talk about cheating. And after just a couple of posts, I got contacted by a newspaper, a very large one. And not long after, you know,

to that, another large one. And then I got contacted by a sitcom actor by America for some sort of B-rate show saying, you know, it's really interesting. Would you mind teaching me some bits? And before you knew it, I was getting a fair amount of hate mail as much as I was getting guys, giving me high-five emojis and asking me to teach them. And then you decided to start teaching them. I mean, is that where you're at now?

I decided, yeah, I sort of thought, let's make it a bit more official, a bit more structured. Instead of giving friendly advice, let's turn it into some sort of, at least a business where there's a price and there's a value and there's, you know, PDFs and slides and structured phone calls. And yeah, I ended up sort of turning it into a bit of a business. Yeah, but how do you keep all that away? Like it's hard enough to live a double life. It's easier when you are traveling for business. But to have a whole double life where you're cheating all the time is one thing. And that could be exhausting for some people because it is a double life.

And sometimes, you know, there's lies that have to go with it to keep it under wraps. How do you then, on top of that, now you've added another secret life, which is, you know, you're consulting people, talking to people, writing this handbook like, do you make me? Like, how do you keep that under wraps too? I don't know. I would say that what I do during the day my wife doesn't know about. I'm very, very disciplined. So, you know, she's off at work. I have my own offices. And what I get up to during the day, whether I'm in the office or out with another lady, she doesn't know. And I never break routines. So I'm, like I said, I'm super disciplined. I never do emergency trips away or I'm never. out on a night out when I shouldn't be. I'm never staying away with women and doing weekends away. All of my affairs happen during the day. And then the consulting happens during business hours. So I have an amazing assistant who is the only person who knows about my double life. And she does a

very, very good job at managing my diary and balancing my life so that I get my real work done, the consulting for the cheating done, the writing done. And then, of course, gives me time to go off and have fun. Oh, so that assistance, like, your cleanup person. I mean, does she have, like, directions from you to, like, you know, shred everything up upon death if you ever, like, you know, die on a business trip? Pretty much. Yeah. Yeah.

And an ironclad non-disclosure agreement so she can have a blackmail means. Oh, interesting. Now, how did you get her involved? She's been with me for 10 years. Uh-huh. And she's one of those. I'm very, very good to my team in general. And she's one of those people who's had all sorts of things happen in her life.

And I've been the first in every one of her bad experiences to be there to help her. And as a result, she's interned done the same for me. So, yeah, I think we've sort of developed a very good loyalty to each other and a very good friendship. And she doesn't judge me. And I think that absolutely helps. in all of this. Yeah. And the fact that we started consulting on the cheating side, she just treats it as another

one of my businesses and it's just business as normal for her. Yeah, I get it. So wait, let's find out what kind of a cheater you are. Now, I always say on my show, like, I don't believe all cheaters are like. You cannot put them all in the same category. There's totally different variations. And you might feel different about somebody who, is a cheater when you hear the whole story compared to somebody else. You can't say the total

philanderer is exactly the same as the guy who is monogamous his whole life. And now his wife hasn't fucked him in 10 years because she went into menopause. And so he sees hookers. You can't put those two guys into the same category. Now, I did once read like probably the best article I ever read. I haven't read any of your stuff. So your stuff is probably the best. But I did read this like amazing article. I don't know if it was in GQ or vice. about cheating. And it was from a man's standpoint, a guy like you who cheated on the go when, you know, for, for business, he was always out of town and he had a lot of rules and regulations. And this is the way he did it. And he talked all about it. And I thought it was like really great. Now, you know, there were rules he had like, you never, he never fucked in his own town when he was at home, you know, no one that he knew. He made friends with the people, but he didn't get too close. I mean, like, how, how do you do business as far as like cheating is concerned? And then I want to go to like the beginning of your cheating story.

Well, so I definitely appreciate you saying that all cheaters aren't the same. Yeah. So I mean, the one thing I will say is I do acknowledge that I'm broken. I mean, I know cheating is wrong. It's not something I'm sitting here proud of. And, you know, the way I justified is, you know, ever since having had kids, the attention that I get at home, I have three young children, and the attention that I get at home has just become less and less and less, and life has become all about them. So even in my own house,

I'm very much bottom of the pecking order. And it's not from a lack of sex that I cheat. It's from a lack of attention. And that's something that I sadly need to feel fulfilled in life, that that that attention, that female attention. The rules I have, I mean, there's different rules. I try not to shit on my own doorstep, and so I try not to play too close to home. In the earlier days, I would use good websites like Ashley Madison and illicit encounters.

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the description. Now, back to the episode. And I used to much prefer meeting other women who were married because that helped my risk ratio. It almost felt like they had as much to lose as I did. And it almost guaranteed that no one was showing up on my doorstep acting like a psycho. But since then, you know, I'll flirt with people in my gym. I mean, I got a number. I joined a new gym today and I got chatting to the receptionist of the gym and managed to get her phone number today. And so it'll be here there and everywhere, sometimes on Instagram, sometimes someone in the same office building as myself. I'll put out the signs quite quickly. And for me, I have a bit of a formula. It's sort of head, heart bed. I think once I've gotten into their head,

it's not too difficult to get into their heart. And once I'm in their heart, it's quite easy to bed them. and I'm a patient person. So if it happens to take a few weeks or a few months, you know, that's the time and effort I'm happy to put in. Yeah, but I mean, if you're getting into their quote unquote hard

and you're that guy that's looking, it sounds like you're looking for a little bit of that girlfriend experience. You don't just want an escort transactional thing because it is that lack of attention that you're missing. So you're looking to these other women to fulfill that. How do they not get involved? I know they might not wind up on your door. step banging on it but I mean how many times have these girls cop feelings for you every time and

for me it's happened a couple of times and it is heartbreaking it's soul destroying to be married and be going through a breakup and have to go home and face the family and act like nothing's going on oh my goodness it does happen and unfortunately these are the non-glamorous sides of cheating that are rarely rarely discussed no but it's discussed on my show because because I always, you know, if someone comes on my show, I get their whole story, and I go into all those kinds of details. I had an amazing guy on the other day. You would relate to him. I mean, it was really, he was a cheater. He completely changed his life. He's not a cheater anymore, but he was for a very big time in his life, like a big span of time, like a good 10 years.

And he was like, I was just like a fucking asshole. But we came to the conclusion that it was because of exactly what you said. Like, they had kids and the wife stopped giving him an attention. That happens. a single mom and I told you, like I always say this. Like, at the end of the day, I was always glad that I didn't have a guy that I had to tend to after attending to one child, let alone three. So I understand, and it's a very common thing. And the guys don't just need sex.

I think a lot of women just think, oh, guys need sex. They're so fucking horny. But they also are human beings. They need the other things, too, like attention, all that kind of stuff, like you said, you know. But it, and it was the same thing. And I think that a lot of guys do have that kind of. issue that happens and like what does what is the solution to that i don't know you know you're you're here to say like maybe we don't know the solution but you're here to say if you're going to cheat

like this is how you do it and you do it successfully because i do feel like i mean how much work is this like it is a oh it's a whole thing that's going on in your life with fucking breakups yeah yeah i've i've got hidden credit cards and burner phones and i mean i should have really been a spy for the CIA. I mean, the amount of effort it takes and cost. I mean, let's also, the other thing that people don't talk about is it's expensive to have affairs, to book hotel rooms. I mean, it does add up. And, you know, I, and I make a point, I mean, I, as you know, I've got this blog, Cheetah's Handbook. Yeah, wait, give out that blog again. What was it called? Cheatershandbook.com.

Okay, go on. And I make a point of saying, look, if it's something that you've never done, don't do it. You know, our target audience are generally people who actively cheat, and they may not be careful because most men get caught from sheer stupidity on their own. The only two ways to get caught is bad luck being seen at the wrong place, wrong time, and there's only so much control you have over that. And then being reckless by having messages on your phone and, you know, coming home, stinking of perfume and all the rest of it. Yeah, but I'm going to tell you right now, okay, I'm sorry. But I'm just going to tell you right now. When you say to me that, oh, I used to be very like, you know, I don't shit where I eat and blah, blah, blah, blah.

But, you know, now I've been seeing the girl at my gym and someone in my thing. I always think that I don't know why people don't think things through. I do. I overthink. So to me, I believe, like, you just never know. You're going to be in a restaurant or in the gym and you're one of your wife's mom's friends that you don't know is her friends. She's going to fucking see it. Like, it's so slow. That to me is sloppy. Going so close to where you are. How do you know that you're not going to do something that is eventually going to stick you in the ass? Because the world is small. Like I said, your wife could have friends that you don't know about that could be somewhere like that should happen. is. Yes. So I may meet people locally by chance, but I will always go way out of town to have dinner with them, to have drinks with them, to go to a hotel with them. I will go substantially 30, 40, 50, 100 miles out of town. And they know the deal straight up about your wife? So I used to lie. I used to, I've tested everything. So I've done the whole, I'm single, I've done the whole, we're separated, I'm divorced. And in the end, I decided by coming clean, it's better that everyone knows where they

stand. And so for the last five or six years, I'm very much like, just so you know, I'm married, I'm happily married, as strange as that sounds, I am happily married, but I am lacking this one bit, and so that's why I stray. And I found that I attract a better quality of a fair partner by being honest. Yeah. That's cool. And I then, if I ever got by bumped into and I would say, hey, if, I mean, if that were to happen, I would say, oh, this is a client of mine. They would very quickly play along with that. Oh, they would, they're in the know that they would also be on the life. Of course, they don't want to get caught either.

No. But so, because I sometimes think women, you know, they have like really good intuition. Is there any, does your wife, like, totally not trust you? because a lot of times I feel like, and I say this a lot of my show, that it's rare that the girl that's flipping out that are guys cheating on her, even though she has no proof of it, you know, the guy's always like, oh, my girlfriend, she's so fucking, it's like, yeah, but you are cheating on her. Yeah, but she doesn't know.

It's like, no, she knows on some level. Typically when some girl is like overly crazy about a guy cheating, she doesn't know, but he probably is. You know, she's picking up on something. Does your wife, considering how much cheating is going on? on and you're having these, like, you call them affairs, which to me is a lot more hardcore than just, like I said, hiring an escort. Does she pick up on anything?

Like, there's a big part of your energy that is someplace else. Like, does she pick up on any of it at all, ever? I would say the only time she suspected something was last year I was dating someone who is in the medical profession, is a doctor. and she was very into fitness and that got me back into the gym quite aggressively and then none of my clothes fit and then this particular affair partner was picking out new clothes for me and then that was quite uh that was where my wife was like hey what's going on you know dramatic weight loss all these new clothes uh all these selfies going up on instagram but i also

happened to 1040 and so the way i justified it is hey look i'm having a midlife crisis I just want to take better care of myself and put it down to that. But I'll give you an example. So if I ever meet one of my affair partners in the evening, I go to the gym twice a week in the evenings. I will wear, for example, a black t-shirt and blue joggers to the gym, and I will have the exact same pair of clothes in my car. I'll go off, have an affair, maybe stay in a hotel,

But right afterwards, I'll shower and then change it for the matching pair that's in my car. So I come home looking the exact same, but not stinking of perfume. Yeah, you don't have to worry about any of that stuff. Oh, my goodness. What other little tricks of the trade? No, it does sound terrible. It's hilarious, too, though. But what other tricks of the trade do you have?

Yeah, so, well, Bernaphone. I mean, a lot of people, I tell you, a lot of people actually get caught because it's one. night stands or office flings and even they're surprised it's happened it's happened by accident and so that's how a lot of people get caught because they're not practiced they've they've sort of never done this before they they fall into the trap of getting overly excited getting carried away um i keep a burner phone and so i and i keep that constantly in my office so it's never with me at home so when i'm home my attention is fully on my family yeah uh but when i'm at work i'll have my burner phone and that's when I'll be sort of sending and replying messages.

But that's another big thing. I also have a secondary amex card where the statements, I mean, now everything's digital, but when it used to be paper, everything would go straight to work. My assistant would sort of collate that in a separate hidden file and those bills would get paid out of a secret account that my wife didn't know about. So it's everything, right? It's not just the clothes and coming home and being obvious. It's the, they always say it's never the crime that gets people caught. It's the cover up. And I spend most of my time making sure my cover up is ironclad.

Yeah, as you should. Because I sometimes hear guys, like with the dumbest places to hide things and stuff. Like that's always like my favorite question. Like where do you hide all your paraphernalia? If it's the guy that's, you know, seeing the BDSM dominatrix. And I think on my intro, it's like my only. only advice to you is rehide your whips and chains because there was like this very wealthy CEO of this huge company that was like completely cheating on his wife he had this whole BDSM

separate life and he's like all my stuff is in the trunk of my car I'm like you're just synchotic like I to me I'm like you're going to get a car crash one day someone's going to come in and find that yeah and that's why I said like you know is your girl like your cleanup girl because I was always like wow someone should have a business where they they're like the cleanup business for these really wealthy people who have these double lives going on and they're paying out and they're doing all this stuff, you know. Whereas if anything happens and they die,

this person comes in and just like deletes everything because the last thing you want to do or the last thing you want to do to your poor wife is, you know, at your funeral she finds out all this shit. I mean, like the poor lady, you know? It's not cool to the other person.

I feel like if you respect them, you know, respect them enough to hide your shit and do it well and don't be sloppy. Because when you put that on somebody else, like cheating is bad because of what you're doing to the other person, they find out. I mean, that's trauma on them, you know? Absolutely.

So I will make a distinction. I know you said the word cheetah a few times in cheating. So I know this is going to sound strange, but I don't consider myself a cheater. I consider myself someone who cheats. And I'll tell you how I make that distinction. Okay, I like this. And I did write about this, which is, you know, there's the old saying, if a tree falls in a forest, does it make a sound?

I mean, if no one's there to hear it, does it actually make a sound? And my argument is, if you've never been caught cheating, are you actually a cheater? Or are you just someone who cheats? I love it. And so whilst I know I cheat, I don't consider myself a cheater. But yes, my assistant is my clean-up person. Yeah, but that's like saying, I run, but I'm not a runner. I mean, if you're running, then you're a runner.

Like, if you're a cheat, you're a cheat. Like, how do you say you cheat, but you're not a cheater? I get what you're saying. It's interesting, the play on words, but I don't see how it makes sense. I think the word cheater, it definitely has a very negative, negative bad connotation. Yeah. Much worse than someone who cheats. I think that's less negative than saying a cheater.

Really? in my mind. Yeah, I don't think so. And again, these are all just, this is not something you're the first person I've actually actively spoken about. Yeah, it's fun. I like this. Obviously clients we've had. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I love this kind of conversation because I think it gives a voice to everything. And then people are going to chime in. That's why I'm having you on the show. You know, and I still want to get into more specifics about your story. But I like that you have these difference of opinions.

And you put it all in writing and you've tried. turned it into a business. So you really do, you are very clear about certain things, which I like. You know, a lot of times I'm talking to somebody and it's the first time they're sort of picking their own brain about the fact that they're cheating, you know, so they're putting things together. Oh, I'm very matter about my, yeah. I'm very matter about my own behavior. And this will surprise you the most. When we decided to launch a sort of dating, coaching service. Yeah. I would say right now, 50% of our clients are single because the way we framed it was, If you, the hardest form of dating is cheating.

And so if you think that's hard and you're out there and you're single, imagine what we could teach you. And it's now gone into the stage where 50% of our clients are single. So wait. So what are you teaching them if they're single? How to cheat on their dates? I don't understand. How to just hook up? Yeah.

So if someone approaches us, well, a lot of the people who approach us have two issues. Yeah. They have a lack of confidence. I mean, that is a massive fact. with all the people who are single that come and see us, a huge fear of rejection. And without sounding crass, no game. No flirtation skills, no seduction skills, no understanding of how to be charming, how to hit on a woman without seeming creepy.

I mean, that's not something that's actually taught, right? Like people assume, oh, he's smooth. He must have been born that way. I'm not. And they don't realize it's a skill set like public speaking that can actually be taught, mastered, practiced. Yeah. Mm-hmm. And so, you know, one of the things will, and we'll bring in confidence coaches that we work with and we'll farm out the confidence bit to a professional confidence coach.

We'll work on some of the seduction stuff ourselves. We'll sometimes bring in a fashion consultant and have them work with them. We may bring in a nutritionist and say, well, look, you're slightly overweight. Let's start working on getting you in shape and looking a bit more attractive. And that will up your confidence as well. and we'll look at it holistically. What we don't do is act like pick up artists and say, use these magic

10 lines and you can get any women. Because that's trickery. That's not what I believe in. I don't believe in that at all. Right. You want to really get the girl to like... So what it is basically like... Because I'm wondering how you were able to turn something about cheating and four cheaters.

Okay, I'm sorry, they are fucking cheaters. How you were able to turn that into something where singles are flogers, are flocking, but is it because, like, oh, the guy who, you know, has already one girl and then also has all these others, obviously is someone who knows how to pick women up. Correct. Correct. That was a huge draw for single people. Listen, I'm someone who reacts, as you can tell by the way, I use words like Risk Race Race Show. I mean, I have an ex, I have a background in finance. Yeah. And so for me, data is really, really important. And I was equally

surprised when single people started approaching us. But what also makes our or my blog very different from every other dating blog out there is they are generic, whereas every one of my blogs comes from, here's a personal story. Let me tell you how I got rejected. Let me tell you how a girl gave me her number and then stood me up. It screams experience. It screams honesty in a weird way. And so people are reading the blog and going, oh my God, this person is genuinely telling us the good, bad, the ugly, the pitfalls, the drawbacks, the pluses. He knows what he's talking about. But you look at every other dating blog out there, and it's like, give her a compliment, you know, comment on her shoes. It's so pathetic.

It doesn't work. It's too generic. It's terrible. It's terrible. And so one thing I wanted to is when I wrote my blog is, when I'm going to document a lot of what I'm going through. But even like the other day, I managed to get a waitress's number, lovely young Brazilian ladies' phone number over dinner. We were drinking. We were funny.

I was charming. I got her number. She's 10, 15 years younger than me. And then when it came to the day of meeting up, she stood me up. And I went, actually, I'm going to write about this. Yeah. Mm-hmm. And I think that people who read our blogger like, actually, we can't even get to the bit of getting the phone number, let alone making dinner plans or making drinks plans or how does he have the guts to say this?

Yeah, they'd love to be stood up by the hot Brazilian waitress. Like, that would be great for them. Right. Right. Just getting, and weirdly enough, we still text each other as friends, right? We're totally friends owned now. But, you know, she has a side. business in the beauty world. Anytime I see an interesting article, I'll just forward it to her. She sees an interesting article about my world. She'll forward it to me. We're in Friends Zone now, but it's great because I still got her number. I still met someone fantastic from it, someone I'm going to learn from. And whilst it didn't go the way I'd planned it to go, something still great

came out of it. Let me ask you when you started cheating. Was it, because you did say, oh, you know, you start to have kids and there was a lack of attention. Before your wife when you were dating and before your kids, were you always a monogamous person? No, you know, I'm going to be brutally honest. I was the fat kid in my teens that didn't get my first kiss till I was 17. Wow. I know. That's the guy that had multiple rejections very early on.

And I think it was up until the time I sort of was 18, 19, got to college. I almost treated it like a game and I'm like now I know what I'm doing now I'm not scared of nose anymore now they don't bother me I'm going to treat it like a numbers game and I I've been cheating since

ever since I was picking up women so I would say since the age of 18 every long term girlfriend I ever had I cheated on her and I only ever got caught once and that was because the girl I was cheating with decided to ring my then girlfriend and I just denied it

right that was must have been a learning experience for you. It was all down. That was. Because I didn't understand enough about covering up and I didn't have the emotional intelligence to sort of, I was still in that getting too caught up in the excitement that, hey, I got another pretty girl and I got another one. And, you know, it was more about racking up the numbers than necessarily understanding

how to do it properly. And the way to do it properly is that no one ever finds out and no one gets hurt and people shouldn't be telling their friends about it or their, you know, their relatives or their cousins. if you're going to cheat successfully, unfortunately, it's the type of secret you have to take to your grave. Yeah, yeah, for sure. But when you say no one gets hurt,

I mean, you do have these breakups where these girls are falling for you because there is an affair aspect to it. Now, what I think is really... But I'm falling for them, too. No, I know, but this is what I think, and this is what I always say, because I've had very successful booty calls,

whether someone's cheating or not. You know, what you're having with these other girls is like a booty call scenario. And there's a big thing about that. Can women just like fuck a guy not have any kind of feelings attached? Yes. But where it gets messy is when, you know,

the words and the actions aren't matching. You're saying, I don't want a relationship with you, but maybe when you're with that person, you are acting like a boyfriend to them. You know, that's where it gets super confusing. And so you're kind of like, oh, you want your cake and eat it too.

you want them to be like a girlfriend. You want them to give you the things like a girlfriend. You want to have that experience of the girlfriend experience. But you don't want the feelings. But I think, and then when the girl cops to them or starts to have them, you're like, you're not, I told you, like, I'm fucking married. Like, I don't want this. But I think that's where lies the problem and why it happens,

because you can't treat somebody. You know, you have to treat them then like what you say. Do you understand what I'm saying? Definitely. And that's why my most preferred relationship is with someone else who's married, who's in the exact same boat as me. They're never going to leave their kids, their husband. They'll deal with the feelings in their own time, in their own way. And I've just come to realize that they are the best form of relationships.

Right. Then the single girl or the waitress that you tried to make up. Absolutely. Absolutely. But you know what? The nice thing about telling, for example, the waitress that you're married early on is that they know that there is a deadline to the relationship. They know within a few months it'll fizzle out, you know, something will that happen. I'm very good at concocting like an argument unnecessarily

and having it so that they end it with me. So that's one of my strategies. I always feel if you're the person that does the dumping, you are asking for them to show up on your doorstep. But if you're the person that almost instigates an argument and has them dump you, if you put your ego to one side, that almost protects you from them showing up. Yeah. Yeah, you're like the worst kind of cheater, because you're so manipulative. I can be. Yeah, you're so manipulative. You know, you really are, it's like all a mind fuck. I mean, but you got it down and I get it. What do you think, I mean, would you not leave your wife? Like you say, in this happy marriage, you know, why wouldn't you just be single? Is it because of the kids

and everything? I mean, do you like to have both lives? Yeah, it would break our kids. And also, I don't think being single is as exciting. I'm someone that absolutely loves risk. I love the high wire life. I think I was singing a single and seeing multiple women or one person at a time. It would feel less exciting. You know, we've talked about a lot of the downs. The sides of cheating, but some of the upside of cheating is the excitement, right, of hiding and having a secret that no one knows about. Yeah, I love how honest you are. I mean, I talk about it a lot, and I always say like cheating sex, unfortunately, it's like really fucking hot. How do you get out of that hamster wheel if you're constantly being fed that? It's like an adrenaline rush. It's a drug.

So you're addicted to it. Yeah. Weirdly enough, that is the title of one of my blogs. Cheating is a drug. It's highly addictive. And in my instance, some men smoke, some drink, I cheat. Yeah, totally. I mean, for that, you know, that poor fat kid, there's a big vapid hole there and you're just trying to fill it. And like any drug, I mean, I'm an addict. I have been sober for maybe 20 years now. I don't even know I quit drinking at 34, so maybe 11, 21 years.

But I know that, you know, it's like chasing the dragon. And it's a never-ending thing. It will never be filled up by what you're doing. So you always need more and it never stop. So yeah, you are addicted to cheating. To me, you're the worst kind. But I love how honest you are. I love how you've got it all down.

I love that you started this whole thing. And I love that this hour conversation is going to get a lot of people talking because I love everybody's angles about it. You know, I love the way you look at it and put it together. I'm being a little judging on you because I'm putting my what I feel on it, you know, and we're having this great conversation and so many people are going to be saying so many different things. And I like to get conversations started, especially about hot topics like this, which is cheating, you know. Right. And I'm used to it. By the way, I get a fair amount. Today I had an email where someone asked me to eat a bullet. So I get a fair amount of hate mail. I also happen to be asked to write for a site. I won't say the name. of the site, but a website where it had been for people who had been cheated on. And I was like, I don't think this is my target audience. And somehow the owner of that website convinced me to

write for them. And I've had like 68 negative comments where people are like, we're going to find you, we're going to do this. And I mean, it was just. But I love actually that that person wanted you to come on because I think that sometimes it is good for the person who was cheated on to understand the cheater. I know you don't think the cheater, but I don't know whatever fucking word you have for yourself. But like to hear from the person, because sometimes I think people can't understand that someone could go and be having sex with somebody else and there's no feelings involved and they still love you at home. You know, what are you here to say to that person? Like, no, like someone could love you and still be having all this

other stuff going on. Yeah. And I think it is possible to love someone like your wife or your your long-term partner and still have feelings for someone else. I think it's sort of rom-coms and society that has hypnotized us into believing you should only be with one woman or one partner forever and ever. If you look at, for example, in France, all the politicians are married and they all have full-time mistresses and it only gets exposed when they do a bad job. But in France, it's the norm to be married and to have a full-time mistress. Yeah, no, definitely.

I mean, I think if we lived in a different time, I mean, when I was younger, I never really got the whole marriage thing and thought it was like kind of crazy. And I never looked at fairy tales and bought into them. I thought they were like, bizarre land, you know? I'm like, I just always felt like, oh, if we were just raised to believe that this is all normal and okay and that then we wouldn't all be so tortured. The problem is, is we are, it's put on us at a very young age, this fantasy of like, oh, you get married. one person and forever. I think it's changing, you know. I always thought the solution is like polygamy or something. I mean, eventually it has to be where it is, there's a different setup, you know, because it doesn't work for a lot of people. And then you have this kind of stuff going on

and then there's like a lot of trauma if the other person finds out. So like, what is the solution, you know, 20 years from now? How should it be set up? I don't know. I mean, I am, I have been thinking about this and writing about how open marriages are bringing down divorce rates. And I sort of do believe it. Yeah. But I also do believe that most of your listeners and most of the people that we know have a very monotonous life. And from someone like me, I cannot do, forget being monogamous.

I can't even do monotony. Yeah, yeah. I can't, I find that everyone's become robotic. I look at all my friends and even the successful ones, they go. to work, they come home, they do the dad thing, then they're back to work. Yeah. And any time their life's a bit exciting is when they go on a family holiday. And I think I need that weekly adventure.

I need something to look forward to every week. I cannot be waiting four months until my next holiday or next vacation to get excited. I just can't do it. I need that weekly adventure. Yeah, that could be a fix. I mean, it could be one or two things going on. I know, like, as an addict, that when, I was a drinker and I was living in that world and I was on that hamster wheel, I was very similar.

Whereas now I could live a monotonous life and it feels great. And there's so many different levels and flavors involved in that world that you don't know of maybe because you do have that vapid hole and you do need that drug and you are so addicted to feeling something so intense because it's the only way you feel. But I will say that as a person who has lived the life of that drug and not, and now I live very monotonous, if you really have your feet on the ground and you are in the real world and you're totally okay with it, like, it isn't as boring as you think. I mean, it really is actually much more exciting. And there's so many more levels of things going on in that world if you're really together and okay than what you think. I used to think the same thing about going out to bars and drinking and the loud music and the lights. That was like the fucking thing, you know? You couldn't pay me enough to do that.

And my regular life, real, because my feet are on the ground and I got out of that and I fixed myself up. So many years later, you know, I love just regular life. That feels okay. That's enough. You know, the fact that it's not enough sometimes for some people could maybe just be your personality. I don't know. This is like going to be something that people are going to rip apart. Some people will be on my side.

Some people on your side. They're going to be like, Kathy, you're fucking wrong. It's just what he likes, you know. But it could also be like the addict in you, that you need that. But if you fix that part of it. Yeah, if you fix that part of yourself, I'm telling you, those people that have the monotonous life are not bored. Okay? They're not bored.

You just think you would be more. You would be because you're just not, you're not whole. But if you got yourself whole, you would be completely okay. And maybe what's, who cares? Why get yourself whole? You're having fucking fun. I don't know. I'm having a blast.

And you could be right, Cathy. And I do applaud the fact that, you know, you got your life together and you gave up the booze. But for me, I just can't do the regular work dad thing and maybe see my friends once a week, once every two weeks. I mean, it's just not enough for someone like me. And like you said, it could very well be the addict. What I do like about your podcast is you cover a range of topics, which means you're, you You have a range of users. So it wasn't like me writing for that sort of emotional blog where people have been broken up with.

I'm more excited to see what your users will say about some of this, the people that listen to this podcast. Because you have an array of open-minded listeners. And I feel that some will judge me and that's okay. And that's their right. And I think some will applaud me and some may end up hiring me. Yeah, I hope so. Yeah. When you end up having a podcast as varied as yours, you attract open-minded people.

And I think that's what your podcast has done a really good job of because I read the comments on a lot of the episodes that you've launched and it screams open-minded. Yeah, which I love. Like I said, I love a good debate. I love people tell me I'm wrong. I like to get in conversations. I like for somebody to change my mind. You know, I like all of that.

And I love YouTube. as a platform for my show because that's where we could rap about things. And sometimes when somebody says something I don't agree with and I go back they're like, oh, it's whatever, fuck off. I didn't mean to offend you. It's like, you're not offending me. I love having a debate. I don't find it. I don't take it personal, you know, and I love that

you don't either. You know, we're just like having I love the differences of opinion because I think people learn from all of it. And everybody at the end of the day what I believe is everybody has their own morals that they make up for themselves. There's no rule book that everyone has to fucking follow. Like,

the Bible, you know, you got to do all these things, right? You know, whatever is right for you, what I always think is the most dangerous thing, and maybe you agree, and you have a blog about this because you know all about cheating, but is the guy that feels bad about it that's doing it. I think that is the thing that gets fucking people caught because what happens when you are guilty, and I tell people this all the time, is like that part of you, whatever, that little subconscious part of you that doesn't feel right, is going to sabotage. So either decide to fucking own it and do it and have no bad feelings about it, or

stop doing it because you're the guy that's going to get caught. Not the guy that doesn't fucking give a shit and is having a great time like you. You're not going to get caught. There's no conflict there in any part of your being. But it's the person, like the person that's at their job and is fucking unhappy

and talking about how much they hate their job every single day. And then, you know, a year later they get fired. Well, you brought it upon yourself because you hated your fucking job. You know, that's what happens. So you're talking about feeling guilty. You get caught. And based on what you said, I will tell you in my mind the worst type of cheetah is the guy that cheats and then goes home and confesses. Oh my God, yes.

The worst kind of cheetah. I mean, come on. When people tell me, oh, I just like I had to tell them. It's like that, first of all, to me, is selfish. I just think it's selfish. Like, honestly, because, okay, I get it. Like, you finally came to the place where you realize I can't fucking do this anymore and you feel so bad about it. I understand that feeling.

I have gotten to the point in my life where I faced parts of myself and felt terrible. Like you just can't even be inside of yourself. You don't, like a hundred showers isn't enough, you know, to get past the shame. But to take that because you feel so uncomfortable about it and dump it on your wife or your partner, whether you're a man or a woman, you know, you're a partner because you think that's going to make you feel better. That's what it's about because it's not going to make that person feel better. Go talk to a fucking therapist and work through it. Stop doing it and get past your own feelings about it because it's your own thing.

Why do you have to tell your wife and then never do it again? Don't tell her. I don't get why that's like a fucking honorable thing to do. Yeah, and chances are once you confess, your wife won't be sticking around anyway. So, you know, the confessing, you might feel better about it, but she's at your life as well. So you've lost your mistress. You've lost your wife. I mean, it's just, I've never understood people like that.

But also what you put on the other person, you know, that what happens is. happens to someone who has been cheated on, their trust issues follow them. You know, for somebody that never had any idea, it is something that you are putting onto somebody else. And that's a big thing that you're throwing over now on top of it all. Now you got to fuck all you wanted. You had all the fun. And now you're dumping it on to your partner. Yeah, you're going to lose them. But that person goes on. So that's where I think it's selfish. Because if you really care about your partner, you should not do that. Even if, like I said, if you do feel wind of feeling terrible about it and you want to change your whole life, you know, change your

fucking life and stop doing it. She doesn't have to know. He doesn't have to know. That's what I think. Exactly. And like I said, I think that's the worst type of cheetah. There's a person that has an office fling and then goes home and confesses. I mean, it's just, I'll never get over people like that.

Yeah. So wait. So, okay, if you don't call yourself, like, so you don't call yourself a cheater. What's interesting to me, though, about someone like you and I know guys like you. and I'm sure there's women like you too, that you can't take monotony, you need the variety, you need your partners,

but yet you also... You need validation as well, I think. But you also love the white picket fence, the wife. You know, you gotta have that too. It's interesting. Correct. And that's why I say I'm broken. And I know that and I acknowledge that

in all of my articles I write. I mean, I 100% say to people, I acknowledge that I'm broken. But I do think that, I will say the one interesting thing that I find very weird when I read about cheating is it's always the men that get a bad name. But we're cheating with women. And so it's somehow, whenever you say the word, yeah, whenever you say the word cheat or cheater or cheating, people always picture a man doing it. It's something that's. I keep trying to correct myself and say, because I'm saying, oh, the guy, you know, when I'm talking about the fictitious person, I'm like, oh, or the woman.

And they're married. I've had women cheaters on and I love to have them on because I know, I love to see the difference. Like are people going to go after the women cheating worse than they go after the man, you know? Is there going to be a difference in the way people experience it? Because a lot of people, and I wonder what you think about this, a lot of people, even my guy friends who are big, massive cheaters themselves, they look down on women cheaters. They have a, they think it's very different and way worse for a woman to cheat than for a guy. You know what I'm talking about. This double standard totally agrees. Like, what do you think on that? Total double standard. Yeah. Yeah, I think it's a total double standard. But I also feel that women through, I don't know how either society,

they are, so what I've noticed is men get a bad rap for cheating less so than women. And I think it's easier for women to go, I have an unhappy home life. My husband treats me like shit and people go oh okay that makes sense that's fine you should cheat you should have done it it's okay right but if a guy said the exact same line i don't think it would fly you know the most common questions i get asked is um how come you don't just leave your wife what would you do if your wife was cheating on you um you know people will bring up STDs the i mean the whole gamber but but no one's ever ever asked me about what about the people you had affairs with what are they like you know no one ever wants to talk about them.

They only want to sort of put it on me. Like, I've done this on my own. Right. Because you have been and you have found that the best partners are ones, women, who are equally attached. So they're cheating as well. And they know the score. There's no explaining it to them.

There's no going, hey, I'm married. I'm never going to leave my wife. It's an unsaid. You go to websites like Ashley Madison, right? That is the number one world's biggest cheating website. They have 60 million users, right? You know I love my data. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I like it.

What does that tell you about cheating in the world? That's 60 million people who've either interested in cheating, cheated once or are active cheaters. 60 million. It's not just a few of us out there. There's millions of us. Yeah. It's just something that we can't be bragging about or shouting about. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, it's so interesting that you did turn it into something. you know, give me a little bit more information on what you offer on your website to people that are listening. Well, to be very honest, it's, so far, it's, you know, a couple dozen blogs where we cover everything from how to get away with it to the best excuses to get out the house, to the best places to go to some of the pitfalls, like how to deal with the breakups, what happens when you fall in love? the website I've kept as a blog which happens to offer dating services I've not turned cheetah's handbook into a dating service site which also happens to have a blog I want it's called to be about helping people get away with it and people not to hurt their families and if they want to get better about it and they need help and they they want to talk to someone who's been through it we're there but it's not something we're sort of actively pushing that the

Like I said, the people who've ended up hiring me are people who are active readers of the blog. I do not want to turn it into, you know, hire diet calls, the anonymous dating coach. And I don't want to turn it into a fully fledged dating coaching business. I want to keep its core about guiding people about the pitfalls and the pros of cheating. And of course, how to protect yourself and your family. What can you give my listeners any kind of like good info on you know what are your top three ways of not getting caught? I mean, do you have that list? Can you give me any kind of information without getting it all the way? Well, I mean, I've written about it. There's a list of 19 things. But I mean, you know, having a burner phone, being emotionally strong.

The obvious things I get people caught is always their phone. and the like hard evidence, like perfume in your car or someone's hair where it shouldn't be a piece of jewelry. So little things like that, you've got to look out for the obvious. And I think by having a burner phone that's in another property altogether keeps your phone clean on the off chance. Your wife's like, hey, I can't find my phone? Can I use yours to ring myself? And then happens to stumble upon messages. Yes. I always tell people to use different apps if they're going to talk to women, like kick, like telegram, like insta DMs, but I would say kick and telegram is how I communicate with women.

And these are apps that most people haven't heard of, let alone would think to check. Yeah. So if someone were to check your phone, it would be your text messages, it would be your WhatsApp, it may be your emails. No one's looking at your insta DMs as much. They might a little bit, but telegram and kick. I mean, my wife doesn't even know those apps exist, let alone would look to think to check them. Of course, right, right, right.

Yeah. So it's not just having a burner phone. It's also on the off chance that ever got found, it's about using apps that are completely clean and devoid from, you know, normal usage in everyday world. Now, because you did also now give advice for single guys to pick up checks because you're really good at it. I mean, can I just ask you off the bat?

I mean, are you good at it because you're a very handsome guy? You reek like fucking cash. I mean, like, is there one of those kinds of? kinds of reasons why or do you just have like good game yeah i think i've developed good game so i i said in my very i was back on a plane coming back from geneva from a ski trip this year yeah and i went i wonder why no one's ever written about this and i started to write about it and i went i go to the gym four times a week i have a haircut once a week and even on my best days i'm a seven out of ten i don't have a six-pack i drive a volvo i'm hardly a catch of the century but what i am is incredibly

observant, I'm very charming and I have good game. And I'm that women typically respond to people that give them very good quality attention and make them feel sexy. The one thing all of the people I've had affairs with were lacking in their life is that no one, no one was making them feel attractive, not their husbands, not their co-workers. And that was something I was very good at, which is giving compliments without sounding pervy or cheesy. Yeah. Well, are you, do you, I mean, I know that some people don't like labels or anything, but I love the womanizer guy. I mean, he really has it fucking down. There's a big difference

between like a womanizer and a player. You know, a womanizer loves women and he does. You do feel like the only woman in the room when you're with them. I've been with womanizers, you know, do you consider yourself maybe a womanizer? Maybe that's going on. A hundred percent. Yeah, that's what 100%. And, you know, I mean, just the other day, a friend of mine was going, what do you mean by a backhanded compliment? He was saying he's into some mom at his school gate. And he goes, what do you mean about a backhanded compliment? So last week, I had my daughter's football practice. And there is a woman, a mom that I'm very besotted with. And so I see her every Saturday. And I have a system. So my thing is, how do you go from being a random guy to a familiar face? So the first few weeks, I'd make a point of just going, hey, how are you? And a smile, and that was it. And even if she wanted to talk more, I'd walk off. I just wanted to be familiar.

And then I would do small, I would sort of build up to a small level of chit chat. And then sort of a few weeks ago, I joked about one of the dads who's always hitting on the nannies and hitting on all the mums. And I went, has he hit on you yet? And she went, no, really quizzically. She looked to me like, no, she hasn't. And I said, oh, that's really strange. he always hits on all the attractive mums. Oh, God.

Without calling her attractive by going, you're attractive, that was a backhanded compliment. And obviously that led into the start of quite a good affair. Wow. I mean, no offense, I'd see you from a mile away, but I could see through people. I mean, but I think that that kind of shit really does work on the average person. But I also think even though people who see through me,

even if they... Yes. Yeah, but they want to. to be complimented. There's no harm in being complimented and nothing happening after that. What I am not doing is saying to you that every time I hit on someone, I get with them. I'm a 50, 50, 50 kind of guy. Like, 50% of the women I'll hit on, I'll end up closing. It's a terrible word, but I see it as a deal. And 50% of the women I hit on, I'll end up in friend zone or, you know, nowhere or crash and burn. But I will put myself out there.

But to answer your earlier question of what do I teach the single guys, it's a more holistic approach, which is get your health together. Yeah. You know, if you're a smoker, cut down on smoking, the smells unattractive. If you're a big guy, lose some weight. If you're poorly dressed, go and buy some nicer clothes. It doesn't have to be expensive, but just look sharp. Yeah, totally.

You know, be better read. Be knowledgeable about certain things. Learn to listen. Oh, guys are terrible at listening. So learn to be really perceptive. The one book I tell everyone to read is a book by a guy called Dr. Richard Bandler, and it's called Persuasion Engineering. And he was the founder of a field called Neuro-linguistic programming.

And pick-up artists came from a guy called Ross Jeffries, who was Dr. Bandler student. And then Neil Strauss was Ross Jeffery student, but it all stemmed from a guy who came up with the field of NLP, where they teach conversational hypnosis, mostly for therapy to help people move from point A to point B, to improve the quality of their lives. And Ross Jeffreys said,

oh, how do I use this in the world of seduction and became this incredible guy and it led to the field of pickup artistry. However, it just got more and more diluted to the point where people went, use these 10 sentences on women and you'll guarantee get with them. And it's just the world doesn't work like that.

Because to assume that every woman is the same is childish. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. But, I mean, they did become very successful with that because I do think some of those ridiculous methods do work. There's a psychology behind them, but do they work in the long term? Do you have something really authentic?

And I think for someone like you that's really looking for that and the people that find you, you're teaching them to create really authentic relationships with other people. Correct. Correct. But I will tell you what pick up artistry did and I think maybe this is what Dr. Bandler never said to Ross Jeffries

or what Ross Jeffries never taught his students. which was if it's, I think it's the ultimate game of misdirection. What they've done is they've taught men all these magic lines to try on women. And guys who never approach women have now started approaching women testing these lines. But I think underneath it all is they secretly taught men confidence. Right. And they've disguised it with hypnotic lines and they took away their fear of approaching women. Most guys will not approach women because they do not want to hear the word no.

Yeah. It breaks them. It brings up bad memories. It makes them feel rejected. And rejection is one of the worst feelings in the world. We've all been through it. And I think that they misdirected men's rejections by going, go and learn these lines. And I went, well, why bother doing that? You're better off just teaching men confidence and teaching them how to better deal with rejection. You know, what do you say when a woman says, no, you can be mean, you can be nasty or you could turn around and say, okay, fine. I see you don't want to hang out with a charming, you know, happy, successful guy, that's your loss, you know, or you can turn it around into, that's fine, you know, perhaps today's just a bad day. I'll give you a call tomorrow. And they're like, it'll still be no and you're like, that's fine. I'll give you a call the next day and you can turn it into a joke and you can turn it into something funny. And you can be persistent in a charming way. How does it work on your website? Like if somebody hires you, they just write in. We don't have something they can buy off the site. Everything's customized.

And so, you know, if it's, and without sounding horrible, if they're the CEO of a company, I'm adding a zero to my fee. I love that. Sliding scale. Yeah, absolutely. I'll tell them that. And I'm like, I'm going to charge you extra because I get some guys who cannot afford me at all. And so I would rather teach them for free knowing that you've subsidized it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And they're cool with that, I'm sure. Absolutely. And we have all these nondisclosure agreements, but I don't have a service where they can click and go, hey, coaching with dark horses, $900 an hour or whatever we charge. No, if I'm working with the CEO like I am recently of a Fortune 500 company, I'm charging him a fortune. And on the back of that, I'm teaching 10 people for free. Yeah, yeah.

No, I love it. I could tell, listen, I have a lot of experts hit me up to be on my show. And I don't agree a lot of the time because typically what I find when I'm talking to an expert, the one who is doing the opposite, is doing what you say that you don't do, that has something that you click on and charge us for. They have a fucking script when I'm talking to them that they stick to and they have the formula and it's all, you know, I'm not talking to like a real person. You know, I like to just talk to real people.

Like, and you don't have that way about you yet you do help. And I like that. I think that that is more authentic. We're all different. We're all unique. Every one of us is unique. And you know what's so strange? This CEO is worth $100 million.

He's so good looking. I would date him. He has a six-pack. He drives a Ferrari and he has confidence issues. Interesting. So, you know, he just meets shallow women and he's like, I'm bored. How do I meet someone normal? And the first thing I had him do is I went dump the Ferrari, get yourself a normal car.

Start looking normal. Wow, right. If you want to keep the Ferrari if you're trying to pick up models. But if you want the regular girl, you're right. You're right. Get rid of the fucking Ferrari. No regular girl's going to feel confident. Interesting.

He went out. He got himself. an Audi, he started to meet normal people at Starbucks and not in the club. And suddenly he's like, my God, something as simple as that has changed the game. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that is. But we're all unique and to approach all men with a script and all women in a certain way. We've even started getting women approaching us, saying, I need help on dating advice. What have you got for me? Yeah. What's a split as far as single people to the people that are reaching out to you to help them cheat? It's 50-50, 50-50, literally, to my surprise.

Yeah, totally. You should start a podcast. But we also positioned ourselves by saying, if you think, you know, dating is hard, imagine how hard cheating is. So if we can get away with that successfully, we've reframed it. If we can get away with that successfully, imagine what we could teach a single person. That's a great tagline. Is that your tagline? Yeah. And no, it should be. Yeah, yeah, it's a good tagline. So it's called the Cheaters Handbook. Let's give some.

No, it's called. Yeah, so it's Cheatershandbook.com. So cheatershandbook.com. I will put links to everything in the description. So if people are driving, they're listening, they'll have it. Cheatershandbook.com. Now I see on your website, it's like, submit your story. You know, if people want to submit their stories to you, why don't you have a podcast? I mean, maybe it's just you don't have enough time.

I don't think so. And also, in my office, I can get away with writing a blog without everyone wondering what I'm up to. I started to have a podcast talking about cheetahs. I think I'd raise some eyebrows at work. Yeah, you could have. Yeah, yeah. All right, so people can submit their story. They could contact you, people that want to cheat and be successful at it.

People that are single and want to meet more chicks, they could also contact you, right? Absolutely. Yeah. Do you have anything else you want to promote or just just the website? Do you have Instagram, all that stuff? Yeah. I just want to really more than anything, I want to promote people being safe and protecting their families and having more confidence and treating women respectfully.

And not lying. And even if you are cheating, don't lie to your fair partner. You know, do it the right way. Right. Because you learn that your way. Because you did start off lying and then you found that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I guess that's... And then it's too many lies. It's too much to keep up with. It's just so difficult. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, no, I think, of course. That's what you're given. And it also seems strange to unclip the car seats and hide them in the trunk when you're saying, I'm single. I mean, how far do you get? It's just too much effort. Yeah, you've got to think things through. You're right.

What do you do with these baby seats in the back of your car? Yeah. And, you know, I think that's how people get hurt and feel deceived. And I think, you know, the wrath of a woman scorned, it's true. It can be menacing. And it could lead to them showing up at your house and turning your life upside down. Whereas right from the get-go, if you say, hey, I'm married, I got kids. And this is why I go and date other women.

they will be more understanding and you will definitely attract a better quality of a fair partner. Right. And you're here to say that because you've been on both sides of it and that's what people learn in your blogs about your personal stories and your history. You're not just teaching something

from a handbook. You lived it. So who better to learn from not just on cheating but also picking up women, the guy who's with so many women that you've learned about them. Yeah, I've got a few in rotation right now. How many? But what I, a three on the go. Okay.

But I don't teach men how to have one night stands. I don't teach them how to have flings. Even though I know how to do all of that, it's just not something I'm about. That's not what this site or what I'm about. I think that if you're going to have an affair, do it properly. Yeah, what were those three things? Head, heart. And what was it?

What was those? Head heart bed. That's my formula. Head heart. H.H.B. Head heart bed. Yeah, you want to really get in there. So there's no way to do that with a fling.

No, and I also believe that people think falling in love is a thing. It's not. Falling in love is the definition of self-hypnosis, right? It happens when you're not there. The woman may think about you. She gets warm and fuzzy feelings. Yeah. So that's why it's head, heart bed.

Mm-hmm. Wow. Once you're in their heart, the rest happens naturally. Yeah, well, listen, I really love this conversation. I think you're super interesting and very smart. I really highly suggest your web, website for people. I can't wait to see the comments and I like to get conversations like I said going and I think that this brings up one. I love, you know, what I always say that to me conviction trumps anything. To me, conviction and clearness of what you're doing and no fucking guilt and this is what I do and this is who I am and this is why I do it. Like I like that above everything. Do you know what I mean? More so than the opposite. So I like your, I don't know,

that I explain myself properly, but I like your... No, you like congruent people. I completely get that. Yeah, I like that. I like your conviction. I like how clear you are. I like how you fucking know yourself. I like how you put it all on the table. I like how everything

has its place and you're completely transparent and honest. And who better to help other people than somebody like you? I think it's great what you're doing for people. You laugh. But you know, and thank you so much for calling into

my show. I didn't really know what to expect. Like I said, sometimes when I have people that, like, I feel like are coming on because they're experts. I don't tend to get excited about it because I feel like it's going to be a very dull conversation because I'm not going to be talking to a person. I like to just have conversations on my show. That's how it's different than other shows. I don't really interview people. I just like to have a conversation and people could listen into it. And this was more of a conversation than most experts that I've ever had. So I appreciate that. And I think it's great what you're doing. It don't ever change. Don't become like those other Thank you. And hopefully maybe in a year from now you can have me back and I can tell you how the world has changed or not changed since then.

For sure. You'll be my cheating expert. Yes, for sure. Absolutely. Fantastic. Listen, thank you so much for having me. I really appreciate you. All right. Thanks so much. Thank you. Bye. Bye. Hey, everyone. Thanks so much for tuning in to this week's episode. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now, available not only in paperback and e-book, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story.

There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang-bang girl story. Like I said, 17 stories and they're all told in the third person and they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person and I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like Penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. 17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format, and finally, the audio book is available coming out August 25th, but you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any

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send it to me at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. That's Strictly Anonymous Podcasts at Gmail.com. And I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in. This is the street episode. If you want to follow the show, follow me at Strict Anonymous on Instagram or Twitter. That's at Strict Anonymous. If you are on YouTube, make sure to subscribe.

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