Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 541 - Girl Talk: A Guide to Sexting with Elizabeth

Episode Date: October 14, 2022

Elizabeth Bell, founder of Amorus sexting app, called in to talk all about sexting. Why does she love sexting so much? What can sexting add to a relationship? And, why did she create a sexting app during the pandemic? Tune in to find out plus hear all about how and why she’s so good at sexting, how couples can use sexting to open up the lines of communication, reveal their secret fantasies and create better intimacy with each other, how intimacy and dirty talk is learned behavior and how you can learn it, the top piece of advice for sexting better, the games you can play on the Amorous app that start sexy convos, the number one fantasy trending while couples sext and a whole lot more. Get Amorus here: https://join.amorus.net/DNT21taOMrb **To see anonymous pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. Craigslist is definitely the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Singapore or Thailand. You can't not do it. The temptation is just too much.

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Girl Talk Fridays. Okay. On Fridays, every other Friday I do a Fetish Friday. And then the other Fridays I do girl talks where I just rap about something that has to do with SEX. I am currently looking to talk to a girl about dick size. I just think it's a hot topic. I don't know why. Because whenever I do have a show on and a guy mentions his dick size or we talk about it,

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So don't worry about remembering any of that shit links to everything. Or in my description. So today we're going to be talking about sexting. And who better to talk about sexting, too, than Elizabeth Dell. She is a girl that was totally into sexting, really good at sexting, actually. And in the pandemic, during the pandemic, she had this great idea to start an app to promote other people to get into sexting with their partners. And her app is great. It's called Amra.

She's going to discuss all that. She's going to talk about why she started the app. But she really gets into like sexting. And the reason why it's great to sexting and how it builds intimacy, she has sexting tips. She's very like good at sexting. Like I said, she talks about how and why she likes it. You're going to be like, oh, why didn't this bitch start a sex talk hotline herself? Is that what it's called?

What is it called now? Phone sex. phone sex, because she's got a great voice and she says delicious a lot in a really hot way on this episode. You'll hear it. You'll know exactly what I mean when you listen. But anyway, she just talks about how she really truly believes that sexting is a language. And it has to be learned. Into misduty talk. It's all learned behavior.

She always was good at it. She wants to teach you how to be good at it. So sit back and relax and I'm going to be right back on with Elizabeth Dell. This is the strictly anonymous podcast. Hi, Elizabeth. Adele, right? I could say your last name because you're not anonymous on my show. You are.

I'm not anonymous. No. Yeah, I am the founder of Amherst, so I am known. Yeah, and Amherst is a sexting app. So I thought, oh, wouldn't it be great to have you on so we could talk about sex and sexting? And, I mean, I wonder, because I looked over your. bio and you were like a film producer and you did some pretty great movies right before you founded this app and started amorous and so i just wonder like where's the effing leap and what

made you decide to create a sexting app were you like obsessed with sexting were you like sexing were you like why sexting well so honestly i'm not bad at sexting i'm actually really good at it I have now amorous t-shirts that say sexting ninja on the back that I wear to events and promote. But I've always loved communication. Like I've always loved storytelling and that's a filmmaker by, you know, previously. And what sexting is is talking to someone about sex. And when you're talking about sex, usually what you're doing is telling stories to each other. You're involving another person in this story of pleasure and intimacy.

And I love that. for me it was really about this was something that was born out of the pandemic so I have always love sexting it's something I've done for years I just love pleasure and I love intimacy and I'm engaged in a lot of worlds around that and then when the pandemic hit and we all were sheltered in place I went into lockdown not with a partner with me okay so I was really using digital tools burning up my thumbs is what I like to call it um so I was burning up my thumbs and at the same time, I was really feeling not my best self in the apocalypse. You know, this was not my most creative self. It was not my most shiny, bubbly, full of ideas, full of everything.

So I really was like, okay, let me see what the, you know, I could use some help here. Yeah. I really, really want this. I want to be talking about sex with my partners. I want to be engaged with them. through my phone, which is like the way I have to do that right now. But I don't want to do all of it myself because it's, I'm getting exhausted. So I went and I asked the internet for help. And I figured that would be easy. And the internet said hard pass. And I was, I, I just was like, wait, no, I don't, I don't think you understand. I asked you for sex. That's why we built you. You're the internet. There should be a million answers. In fact, there should be like,

6.9 million answers in 0.1 seconds, right? That's what the answer should have been. But in fact, I went looking and looking, and there was very little that was there to serve two people. If you are one person on a solo pleasure journey, whether that's you want to learn about an identity, or you want to watch porn of every stripe under the sun, or you want to sort of be anonymous in a forum, there's lots of things for you. But if what you want is a known partner and yourself and you want to make that interaction better, yeah. Basically the two-player game, there really isn't a lot out there that's not 20 years old and kind of cheesy truth or dare game.

Or like stuff that just like doesn't feel, yeah, it just feels outdated. It didn't feel like fun. It didn't feel delicious. It didn't feel engaging. It didn't feel welcoming. And so I started out just being super annoyed because I was like, what the hell internet? Excuse me, French. I just like, like that, you should have this.

And then after a little while, I was like, wait, maybe this is an opportunity. Maybe I can go make something for the world. Maybe I can go fix sexting. I don't know what that even means, but there's something here. And so I started exploring and I started trying and I started thinking about it. what was born out of that was amorous because I was, I knew that what I wanted was a way to be delicious with the person that I want to have sex with or I am having sex with or I'm going to have sex with, but that specific person, but I wanted it to be better without having to do

all the work myself. And so, yeah, that's, but like I love sex stick. I love telling those stories. is I you know that is a thing that helped me survive a lockdown so now when you said you went looking we when so when you said you went looking on Google for information because you needed help like because I know I mean I hope that my guys that I've done this with don't listen to this and I don't know that this is my little secret but like there have been times where someone's like you know wanting to sext or phone sex and I like go looking for scripts like he give me some fucking sentences to just think up just to get me going because, you know, sometimes you're just, is that what you were looking for that kind of information?

Because I wonder, like, what were you Googling and what kind of information were you looking for? I may just be lazy and that's what I was looking for that. So I was starting there, but that, you know, those sorts of suggestions are often, they're not specific to the partners. Yeah. And what I was really looking for was like, help me kickstart us. Help me learn about us. Let me find way. Because for me, the thing that's always the most delicious and the most engaging is when I know that I'm really authentically with my partner, even through a phone.

But the things that they're telling me about what turns them on or the role play we're doing is like really exciting to them. And it's them and not anyone else. Like that specificity, that's the thing that's really exciting to me. And so I was like, are there games where we can explore each other? desires, are there, like, what can we do that will help us discover each other and then maybe give us a starting point to go have another conversation without having to think of all those starting points myself? So what can you do?

If it is so specific, right? And it is about the other person. What are your tips of what people can do to get that conversation going? So it is really about the other person and not sort of. this generic thing that you're just doing it, you know, make it go away or like you get it over with or finish it, you know. Well, when I, I actually give lectures. I just got back from a thing called Exotica, giving a seminar on sexy chat. And I, when I teach, I always say my one top piece of advice, if nobody remembers anything else I say, ask questions. Right. Questions are the secret

ninja silver bullet. And the reason is, is because a question specific, it gets an answer from your partner. It gets their version of the world, not anyone else's. You're not assuming that, you know, you're going to get turned on by touching my boobs or you're going to get turned on by imagining being in voyeuristic experience. Like someone might like that. They might not. But if you ask, you know, would you like to go to a sex club with me and they say,

hell yeah, you're like, oh, great, now let's role play a sex club. But if I'm like, oh, I've never been to one of the others and I'm not really sure I'd like it, okay, great, then let's do something else. But now we're focusing in on what it is that we want to do together. What is it that's truly going to turn us both on? And so I'm all about, from the very first kind of introduction of a sexy idea, like, hey, I had a sexy thought, can I share it with you? You know, just a very simple, would you want to have this conversation style question to a, oh, you said you like to have your neck touched? How do you like to have your neck touched?

Do you want me to blow on it? Do you want me to bite it? Do you want me to scratch it? When you ask questions, that's the way to get your partner really engaged in what their version of hot as hell is. Right. And now are you at, like, is that the beginning of the sexting with your, you're partner, are you asking them questions before or is that how you start your sexting experience with

them? Well, I think questions are great ways to kick it off, especially because I think when you're starting a sexy conversation, the first thing you need to do is make sure that this is the right time and space and place for your partner to have that sexy conversation. So, you know, they might be like, actually, I'm in the grocery store right now. Can we do this in an hour? And so asking even just the, are you feeling sexy? What are you up to? Can I share a sexy story? Like, questions are a great way to start the idea of is now right, is this right?

But I actually think questions are great all the way through. Because a question also says, I am listening to you. I am asking a question based on, especially it's, I mean, the important thing is not that your questions are always changing the subject, in which case, you're pretty clearly communicating that you're not listening to the partner. But if someone, like I said, if someone's saying, oh, I think a hot tub would be really sexy. And you're like, oh, really? Where? Like, is it a hot tub at a hotel or is this a hot tub at like a cabin far out in the woods?

Where would you want that hot tub to be? Yeah, that's smart. You are telling them that you're in it, that you're listening to them, that you want what they want, but also that you want to like learn more and get deeper and imagine more and get sexier. And so, and then you're building something together. And in fact, one of the, you know, Amherst is a, what I built is a sexting platform. So it's messaging, but it's messaging with a bunch of games around it to facilitate sexting. And one of the games is specifically sexy conversation starters exactly for this.

And they're almost all questions. I mean, sometimes there's sort of questions. They're like, share the farthest you've ever traveled for sex. or share the longest you ever had an orgasm. So, you know, describe, but they're all like questions, ways to get that sexy underway. You know, what's a smell that always turns you on? Interesting questions that might spark something in your brain and go, ooh, and then you can talk about it or not. But the app gives you a place to start and gives you a question kickoff.

Right. Now, when you, like, so say I have this app, does my partner have it too? And you talk within the app. Is that how it goes? Yep. Yep. And it's all one to one. So there's no like marketplace.

There's no social profile. You don't have to worry about anyone seeing you. You come on the app. You invite your partner specifically with an invite link or with a QR code. And then the two of you are connected in your own private bubble. Like, you know, what's, you know, what's? app or Facebook Messenger or something. You're just like one to one or texting.

Right. But it's super encrypted, totally private. And then you can have all kinds of conversations that you might want to have and play all the games. And the games are all wrapped into your chat. So you can play chat sparks and it will ask you questions and then you can talk about them. And then you can do another one.

And it all is about how do I help two people get engaged with each other. Right? When I, I believe that when Amherus is working right, we are like little sparks of energy, but mostly it's about two people being sexy and delicious with each other because that's the thing. That's really amazing. But now, listen, I think that a lot of times what men consider hot or want in the moment or what gets them hard could be very different than what a woman does. You know, what do you think is the difference between what men are looking for compared to women? And is there a difference? Maybe I'm wrong. I don't know. Well, I think that everybody is entirely on a spectrum. I think that the, in the porn industry and a lot of others sort of present a very male-driven gaze because that's what we see a lot. And so, and there, you know, I come from production, you know, not the porn industry. I come from just sort of feature films.

Yeah. But, you know, you're about how do you appeal to the widest audience? what are the most people going to like and how do you get sort of deepest into what's going to capture attention. The difficulty there is that what it misses is seduction. And I think that that's a thing that is partially gendered but partially not. That really everybody likes being floored with. Everybody likes being seduced. And it's about finding the topics for that and the rhythm for that. And I think when you

have a place that you're interacting just with another person and you can find that, that's what the app is really there to do. So we have a game called Fantasy Swipe, which has fun pictures and cards with fantasies on them. You tell the app which ones you like and don't.

You get a few every day. Your partner does the same. And your mutual matches are revealed. And what that does is give you a place to start from. Like, oh, we both think librarian student is cool. Oh, okay. So then maybe let's talk about that. Maybe let's get into that. How, what would that look like? What would that feel like? What kind of library is it? Which one of us is the student? What's the overdue book? Is there a penalty? And we help with some prompts around that so that it kind of eases you into those conversations. I think though that when I talk about what sexting is like, I, rather than saying it's one gender or another, I prefer to say everybody is not only unique in what they want, but they're unique on a day-to-day basis. Right. You know, today I might want slow seductive romance. Tomorrow I might want to get thrown

against a wall and I am so on it and I'm already at, you know, 75% of the way there. And please just like, let's do a quickie that takes me the rest of the way. So it's all about that conversation. And I think finding where you are with your other person. And sometimes that's gendered and a lot of times that's not. That's just what's my mood? What am I feeling? What happened in the world around me? And where are we in our conversation and exploration? And so what I want to do is help overcome some of those most common difficulties. Like how do we get started and what do we start talking about and what might we both love so that then people can explore each other and find out what it is, not only what is the thing that turns that person on, what's the way that that

thing turns that person on. You know, I know that between different partners, there are partners where like certain turns of phrase, they just adore. Or there are things for me that Like I don't always even know what they are until my partner writes it to me. And then I'm like, oh, fuck, that. That's amazing. Right. Say that again and again and again because that's like a winning little combination. But that's unique to every person.

Yeah, well, listen, I mean, anybody, any sex therapist is going to say communication, that's what it's all about for, you know, good sex. I am always talking to people about their sex lives. I will be actually telling people about your app in the future because I feel like it doesn't. It's not just to help you learn how to sex. It's going to help you learn about your partner. I can't tell you how many times I'm talking to somebody who has a secret, kinky thing that they're into and they just can't tell their partner, you know, and sometimes it's somebody that's been married to someone for over 40 years. And I think that's even harder at that point. Like,

how do you reveal to them this whole time you've been into this thing, you know, or somebody in the beginning of or the relationship of these things. And, you know, and we're always talking about how that person who's hiding that secret fantasy can get to the place where they see some sort of window of opportunity if they could bring it up so they could tell their partner they love wearing panty hose or they want to wear panties or they want to be tied up or they want to see them

fuck another person. You know, all these kinds of things. This is like a really nice way to then reveal all the little secret things that you were always into to your partner. Well, I really talk about amorous as an intimacy app. We are a romance app. We are a romance app that does a lot of pleasure and sexuality as part of that because that is romance and intimacy. But what I want to do is I want to facilitate delicious conversations between people because the first, when you have a wonderful sexy conversation with someone, chances are there's a lot of pleasure there.

And that pleasure might be the conversation itself. It might be that you understand something about your partner and the next time you have sex. there's a little bit of a change and it's even more delicious. But that's an amazing feedback loop. And the more you do it, the more you do it. And I think there's so many, there's so much of intimacy and communication between couples that is we don't teach it. We don't, and we don't teach it positively.

We don't say, hey, this is like just what you should all be doing or what, what, and I even don't like to use the word should. This is what will make your relationship more fun, more delicious. and it doesn't matter what the level of commitment between you two is. You could be casual once every three months, you know, sex buddies. But if you're able to talk to each other about what kind of sex you want when you're sex buddies, chances are it's going to be so much better. You know, it's just having those communication skills at all levels and depths of a relationship

are so valuable. But they're also, it's like riding a bicycle. We would, or any other skill. nobody would walk around in the world and go you know what I want to do I want to compete in the Tour de France today I don't know how to ride a bicycle but I'm going to go compete in the Tour de France they just wouldn't do that it's like oh I want to ride a bicycle that sounds interesting let me first rent a bicycle and try it a little bit or go to a park or borrow a friend let me and then let me practice and then let me go on longer and longer rides and then maybe eventually I'm going to want to do a triathlon with it but I'm going to run a ramp up to that. Whereas I think porn shows us only the most extreme version. porn shows us the Tour de France. Porn shows us, like I always like to say, we all try and learn sex from porn, but that's like trying to learn how to drive from the fast and the furious. Like you wouldn't do that. Yeah, no one does it in real life. Yeah.

You know, and what we don't get is that on ramp. And I think when people have like a sexy thing that they want to do with their partner, a fetish or a desire or just an act that they've wanted for years, the most powerful thing you can do, and there is research on this, to get your partner to do a sex act that you want, is to tell them that you want it. That's simple. Yeah. But that is both simple. It's, I mean, it's simple like saying, oh, be good at something.

That is a simple sentence, but it is not a simple concept. It's really difficult to tell your. partner that. And so you need to practice. You need to practice with easier stuff. Have a conversation about back massages. Have a conversation about sense that you find delicious. Get comfortable talking about pleasure, about things that you like, about what turns you on or doesn't and in what context. And the more you do that, the more you have the skills and the trust to then have the deeper conversation and the deeper conversation. You know, you shouldn't, it's not, hey, I want to have a threesome is maybe not the first

conversation about sex. Right. You don't start with that. The 100th or the 10,000th of the 10,000. Yeah. But promise you, all the ones in between are going to be delicious too. Right. Build that.

Yeah. Yeah, exactly. And I just think even for partners a lot of times, like I said, in the beginning, a lot of sex therapists would tell people, like, you know, communicate what you're into and how these conversations with your partner, but sometimes it's hard to look, you know, sit across from somebody and tell them, you know, the reason why people tell me their naughtiest things on my podcast is because they're calling me. I don't see, I can't see them. You know, there's something about sexting that's a little safe too, you know, in revealing who you are because like you said,

it is very hard. It sounds really simplistic. Like tell somebody what you fucking want and they'll do it, you know, but these kinds of things because of society and judgment. about, you know, our sexual fantasies. There's just so much out there that it's hard, you know, and scary. So I think that sexting is a great way to do it. And it's a little safe because you're not, you know, you're kind of hiding behind your phone. And that's not bad. I think that that's a great thing.

Well, and I think it's learning a language. Like there's a, it's not learning a language like you have to use words that you don't know the definitions of, but you have to use them in new ways. There is a language of talking about pleasure, of talking about. of talking about, of intimate conversation, of naughty talk and dirty talk that has to be learned just like how to cook a thing has to be learned, just like all of the things we do in our lives, our learned behaviors, we learn how to drive, we learn how to practice. And there is very little opportunity given to us in the world to practice being intimate with a person.

And one of the things that's really nice about, like you say, about a phone, is that when you are doing this conversation digitally. Sometimes you can think, you can rehearse what you want to say. You can look at a question and think about it a bit and you can type a few things and then backspace a bit and then try again. And in the process of that, in the process of all of those conversations, you're learning a language of how to talk about intimacy and pleasure. I mean, personally, I, you know, it was very funny that when I started thinking about making amores, I called all of my girlfriends and I was like, okay, I think I'm doing this crazy thing. I think I'm going to become a sex tech entrepreneur.

And I thought this was insane. And they were all like, oh, yeah, that's totally on brand. Yeah, I was going to say, you kind of sound like you could have been a phone sex operator. The way you talk, the way you say, the way you say, I'll never be able to hear that word again. I mean, you just say, like, you know, you definitely have a flare for it. I mean, it's your thing, you know, you're not like you're not playing a role. It seems like it comes naturally to you. No, I love talking about sexuality.

I love talking about intimacy. But I think this is also learned behavior. If you talked to me, and I don't mean learned like I was forced to. I mean, like, I taught myself. But if you talked to me 10 years ago, I did not, I could not say the things that I say now. This was a process. I actually remember, you know, I, early in the advent of Tinder and of iPhones, I had an iPhone.

I was discovering this thing, Tinder, and I was sort of talking to people on it. And then I had a friend who, honestly, he was an ex-lover, but a barely their ex-lover. You know, we had gone out a couple of times, like eight years prior previously, and then had sort of stayed texting friends, but never really, you know, the dating didn't work out. And he reached out, and we got into this texting relationship, and we would, you know, once or twice a week or, you know, sometimes more, sometimes less, get in these long conversations on text about sex, about sexuality, about what we wanted, about sharing are each other's personal stories. And we're not actually having sex together, but I look back on that as so much learning

for me about just practicing talking about my own sex, talking about my own pleasure, expressing to another person what turned me on. And that was a skill I had to learn. And he was a really, you know, we never had sex again, but he was really important in my journey of discovering my own pleasure because he helped give me space to acquire a language to describe it. Right. Now, are you in a relationship now? Mm-hmm. I am.

Yeah. I am actually in a relationship where I met the person sexting during the pandemic. Oh, really? So, wait, did you meet them on an app and then you started sexting? Because you obviously didn't have your app. You didn't have your amorous app created yet. But I mean, this is somebody that you met online and because you couldn't meet up because of COVID. You just were sexting a lot.

It's just somebody that I met online on a dating app. And we were just having a lot of fun talking to each other. honestly like this previous history partner, you know, it was someone to have remote fun with. And I never expected it to be more than that. And then time went on. And then we actually had an opportunity to meet in person. And we were, I think both of us completely shocked that we actually liked each other a lot in person as well. And that has so much blossomed into an in-person relationship as well.

Now, what about sexy picks? Is that something that you could send through? I'm assuming that's something you could send through the app and are there games to play with that? Or, I mean, how does that play into your amorous app, the pick? Yeah, I am all for sharing pictures. We have, we are big fans of people sharing pictures on the app. You can definitely send back and forth. Everything is totally encrypted.

And we actually built it so that it has, the app has what I call revocable consent, which means basically anything you can send, you can always take back. You don't have to put a timer on it. You don't have to decide today if you want them to see it tomorrow. But if I send you a picture and I decide tomorrow or a month from now that actually I don't really want that picture in the world, I delete it and it deletes automatically on both sides. Oh, that's cool. And same with any message I send. If I send a message or I can delete an entire relationship, that's really built into the core of the app is the idea that everything, you know, if you just consent to something, but then later you, you know, if you just consent to something, but then later you.

you don't want to consent to it anymore, it's gone. That's the nature of it. We also, though, have games around pictures. So right now we have one game called jigsaw, which is exactly like it sounds. You can take a picture and send it to your partner, but they get it as a blurred jigsaw puzzle. And they have to do the work to solve the puzzle before the picture gets revealed. Wow. I like that.

Well, first of all, I love puzzles, so I'm a puzzle person. But I love that it is blurred so they can't. So they're being teased the whole time, like just wondering what that. And they don't get it clear until they put the puzzle together. How many pieces are those puzzles? The puzzles are 16 pieces. Yeah. And then we do give you a little hint.

So like when the piece is in the right place, the piece glows purple. So you can just trial and error get there eventually by just swapping the pieces around until they're all purple. Oh, that's so funny. If you're bad a puzzle. If you're a fucking moron, I mean, it's only 16 pieces. So if you want to go quickly, you could do that if you don't want to actually use your brain. Right. You can always brute force the system if you need to.

Oh my God. That's hilarious. That's a really cool game, though. So, you know, and what else can you do? What other kinds of things are on the app? So you have games with the photos. So we have games. So we have three games right now and another one coming out shortly.

So the three games right now are chat sparks. which is our questions around sexy conversation sort of. So we have over 400 questions in there that you can, you hit the button and you get a question asked to both parties. And so you both get asked something like, what's a smell that always turns you on or the farthest you've traveled for sex or what's the most erotic thing you ever wore? And you can have a whole conversation about it or just hit the button again and try another question. Honestly, you can even just sit on the couch if you are people who live together. and just hit the button again and again and ask each other questions in your life. And we actually even have a physical game that's available on our website that's like a card game,

which again has all of these questions in it so you can play the physical card game or take it to a swinger party or something. And then we also have, we have a game called this game called Fantasy Swipe, which is hundreds of fantasies that you swipe yes and no. Your partner also can get to it to do every day. We sort of keep it tantalizing. Come back and come back. But your partner also swipes and then the mutual matches are revealed. So you get a chance to uncover shared fantasies and sort of say, ooh, okay. Fun fact, as of this week, the most swiped fantasy this month is Cochring.

Oh, really? Yeah, Cochring is currently our number one fantasy. These things move around all the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What else? Tell me more. Yeah. To see what's on the list.

So yes, let me see Have you ever put Gang Bang on there? Because I'll tell you this, when I put out an episode about a fucking gang bang, it's the most downloaded. Or the one where the guys want to see their partners. People want to see their partners get pleasureed by other people. That's another one.

I don't know if you get that hardcore on your app. But these are things that I, like people, you know, I guess it's like, listen, I don't think most people I've had a gang bang, you know. But it's a great fantasy. Totally. It must be because that is like my number one episode that I'll put out as a gang band. Well, and it's funny, you know, one of the, like we've, one of the questions that we put in Shotsparks, both in the game and in, in the app is what's a fantasy that you don't want in

real life? Right. Because I think that there's also a really interesting conversation. Like, that's one of the things that's great about talking about sex in a sexting context. is that it's not necessarily in real life. Like you can engage with fantasy that's maybe not a thing you ever want to do. And if I can give advice to the sexters out there, be cognizant of that. I think sometimes they're, and again, I don't want to be too gendered,

but I think this happens, this is a fear maybe more for women than for men, that if you talk about a thing, you are implicitly giving consent to want to do a thing. Right. Yeah, that makes sense. And so there's a like, I don't want to talk about it if that means that all of a sudden I'm going to be expected to do a threesome next week. And I don't know if I want to ever do a threesome. I just want to talk about the idea of a threesome. And so if you can make sure that your partner knows that you are clear that conversations about fantasy are okay to stay as purely fantasy. That you, like that talking about a fantasy in no way commit someone to actually wanting to. to do that in real life, that's an incredibly powerful tool to sort of build trust and build great sexting is what your partner knows, like, this can be purely fantasy. Yeah, no, that's very important to make that distinction, I think. Like, I did my 500th episode, I interviewed myself because I never are talking about myself. I'm always talking about other people, you know, but I did myself and I like put it out to

my people. Oh, ask me a lot of questions and then everyone, you know, want to know about my sex life. I haven't done half the things my listeners have, but I said, like, Would I ever, it was a question like, would you ever had a male, male you threesome? It's like, no, but I used to like mock that up in fantasy. Like that's a, that's something I like to think about and pretend to do, but nothing I would ever do in real life. And I think a lot of people have that line, you know, and I think like what you just said

is super important. You know, role playing fantasies with each other is, if you have a good enough imagination, it's fucking great. It's amazing. And so if you can, like, in swiping on our fantasy swipe game, be like, okay, we both are into this camper van or, oh, we both like the idea of a nude beach. And maybe you really want to go to a nude beach. Maybe you just want to, like, imagine what your most fabulous nude beach experience would be. But now you know that you both think that would be cool.

So now you can imagine that together. You can have a whole conversation and start from a place of, oh, here's a thing we're opted into. Here's a thing that we both say, hell yes. on. Right. What are your fans? Like, what are your things that you put out there? Can you tell me? Or do you put that out there at all? Being that, you know, do you keep that private? Like I have all my stuff private on my show. Well, I mean, I, I tend to keep my most, like my current history private just because I'm a really big believer that, you know, my partners also have to consent into anything that gets shared. Yeah. But I've certainly had a thing that was years ago, I had a lover, a sort of, of infrequent lover who was a air marshal.

And let me tell you, as far as I could tell it, air marshal's jobs were often very, very boring. Like you just have to sit on really long plane rides all the time. Right. And, you know, punctuate, like you have to have a lot of skills when they're needed, but most of the time you're just sitting on an airplane. And you can't go to sleep because you're the air marshal. Yeah, and you're rarely needed.

Yeah. Yeah. So he would just sit on the airplane with his devices and message me, you know, from the air over an ocean. and we would have all of these really interesting sexy conversations while flying to somewhere or another. And so, you know, I mean, let me tell you, it was, we had so much delicious fun. The one fantasy he did kind of ruin, though, was the Mile High Club. He was like, nah, it's not really as cool as you think it is.

It's mostly, you know, and then he described like six failed Mile High Club experiences. And I was like, oh, oh, okay, I don't want to know that the people around you can hear you. And I was like, damn, why are you ruining my fantasy? Oh, my God, that's hilarious. The air marshal gets busted banging somebody in the thing. I mean, he might lose his job. Or bust someone else. Oh, right.

Oh, duh. I'm so stupid. Yeah, that's so. He's like, there's like, when you're doing that, there's no way that the entire staff of that airplane isn't aware that that's happening. And I'm like, oh, yeah, I don't know if I'm comfortable with this anymore. Man. Yeah, not at all.

I love your app. Now, it's like, do people, is it free on any in the app store? Where can people find it? Yeah. We are currently available for Apple. We're unfortunately not yet available for Android, but please, if you're out there and you're an Android user, sign up on our website. Our website is amores.

net. Amor-U-S-N-N. And we will let you know. We will be on Android in hopefully the next six months. and then I will let everybody know that can come join for that. But yeah, we are free on iOS right now. And listen, being very honest,

I am a big believer that if you are not buying the product, you are the product. And we guarantee to everyone who uses Amherst that they are not the product. We never read, never share, never sell your data. But what that means is we are only free for now. Like we will be a subscription app. It won't be crazy expensive,

but it'll be a few dollars a month to, be part of Amaris. But right now we're just trying to build our footprints. So we're free at the moment. And so if people want to join early, they can get grandfathered in. But we will eventually be charging for the app. That's an incentive. Right now.

So if they sign up now, though, does it stay free? If they get in now, like you say, they're grandfathered in with that and they never get charged or do they have to start paying once it goes to be like a paid app? We'll definitely do something nice. I don't exactly know how it will work. I don't know if it'll be like they're free forever or if it's free for the first year and you always get a VIP discount or like how that's going to work. But we will definitely, we will definitely treat the first arrivers very, very nicely because we're not going to succeed without people coming and using it now. So, you know, our first adopters are who's teaching us like what to build next and what features to add and all of that great stuff.

I love talking to my users and being like, oh, can you do this and can you do that? And what about this? And it would be really cool. You know, we're working on a whole bunch of different features, like being able to opt into sort of a spice level. You know, if you want, do you want all things of all stripes? Or are you someone who's like, you know, I'm cool with two peppers, but not three peppers. Oh, I like that. And how dirty.

Right. How dirty. How dirty. How edge alternative, you know, do you want to see BDSM? Do you want to see food stuff? Do you not? I want to be able to, you know, just like in one-on-one and one-on-on-anything, you know, in sex in the real world. Yeah.

We are all, you know, we want to enforce our boundaries, we want to understand our pleasure, or we want to, like, be able to set that tone. I want you to be able to do that here because this is also intimacy, and it's all about where do you want to be, and that's what's important. And is there an audio component to it if you want to, you know, send a sexy audio thing? Unfortunately, audio and video are still on our dev plan. We do not yet have them. So we can't yet send video or send audio through the app. You would have to find another place for that. Those are both things that are coming as well as the ability to have a group conversation.

Right now it's just one to one. You can have many one-to-one, so you could have six partners on Amaris and have a one-to-one connection with each one of them, but you can't have multiple people in the same conversation yet. Basically, all of our games, you know, the game dynamics change totally if you have a group or if you have one-to-one, and all of our games are really designed for one-to-one, like two people to play. And so introducing group chat requires also introducing games that apply. to groups, which is a whole other dynamic. So there's a whole other build. Oh, but that's super interesting. Now, who do you, like, I'm assuming you're gathering up, like, all kinds of information

on the people who are logging in and, or, you know, downloading your app. What are you finding? Is it typically mostly single people? Because I keep looking at it from, like, the married person's perspective. And I think it's great for that person. It's a no-brainer for the single person, you know, especially if they don't have a partner there or someone in a long-distance relationship. I mean, there's so many different kinds of people and reasons to you.

use your app. What do you find is most of the, you know, the demographics of the people that are they mostly women, mostly men, single, married? So we are, Amaris is really a two-player system. It doesn't really work for one person. Right. You have to invite a partner and connect with them and all the games are about with that partner. So we don't, we see people of all different relationship stripes, everything from very, you know, casual or brand. new relationships, people that are just getting to know each other, casual lovers or BDSM partners, or, you know, it can be, but you have to, you do have to have the other person. Right.

So it's always going to be too. Right. Yeah. So, yeah. Yeah. You got, you got to have some way of like if, you know, but what we find is we find we definitely have a lot of long distance relationships that use the app because it's a great way to have those sexy conversations and feel like they're sort of separate and private and

totally encrypted in kind of a way you're not going to end up accidentally in this text stream with everything else that you know we definitely don't want those pictures accidentally sent on that app to the wrong person and so you know we do that we have a lot of newer relationships where they're you know they're maybe not living together and they want to talk and they want to have sexy conversations but we also have people who are in very long-term relationships and are looking to spice things up and they're looking to find kind of a new way in to start a conversation or a new, you know, a lot of times when you're in a long-term relationship, you get locked into patterns and not intentionally on either side necessarily.

It's just you get in a habit and then their habits are hard to change because they seem, everyone just sort of is fixed in the way it is done. And something like Amaris can be a way to change that up because nobody's ever used this app before. So nobody has a pattern for it. There is no system of how you talk on Amherst. This is a way to change the playing field, right? Yeah, it changes the game. You know, it's kind of like going away to a hotel vacation.

It's like you can do things in a hotel room differently because you're not in your normal world where your normal world rules don't apply. So it's the same sort of idea, getting you digitally into a different place to explore each other. And so we get a lot of long-term relationships. I would say we tend to skew a little older. And I just mean like we don't get a lot of people in their early 20s. We get mostly starting at the late 20s and up.

And I think it's because when you're younger, you're just sort of exploring sex for the first time. You're not yet. I think people are interested in amorous when they want their intimacy to improve. Right. And they're not, you know, it's like how do you ride a bicycle well as opposed to how do you just ride a bicycle at all? Yeah, yeah. You're not how to write at all, right. Yeah, we're how to do it well.

And so it takes, it's a little bit later stage when someone's like, ooh, okay, now I want to, now I want to be getting good at this. Now I want tools to make this better in my life. And then you also learn some really fun things. Like everybody sex on Tuesdays. Really? Tuesday's a hot day? Tuesday's a hot day. Like, there is a very week, the weekly cycle.

is really clear for texting. So it is sexy messages Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday are really big days. Okay. Wednesday through the end of the week sort of falls off. And so we always peak in the first half of the week. And it's usually Tuesdays. Tuesdays are generally our top day. But Sunday and Monday, Tuesday are the big ones.

And then it starts to stay down. And like Fridays and Saturdays are usually the lowest because I think people are out in the world doing things. things with their sexy people. And, you know, Tuesday is when you're sitting at home wishing you were doing something with your sexy person. So let's do it on the phone. Yeah, that is so, yeah, that is interesting. Those kinds of, that kind of information is always interesting to me, you know, and

you get all that data. Yeah, all of our, all of our data is anonymized and sort of, you know, like none of that is attached to people. We don't look at individual people's data. Of course. We just look at patterns overall. Like, you know, who likes which, they. Like how many people like the, like the camper van fantasy, not which people are doing it.

Yeah, no, it's no different than how, well, how I know that everyone loves the gang bang thing. You know, I don't know there, I don't know that the person's name that downloaded it, but I know it was downloaded and it was downloaded a lot. You know how many. Exactly. Yeah, you know, no one has to worry that you're getting that, but you, of course, you get, you get that information. Yeah, listen, I love your app.

You know, I was listening to it a lot from the standpoint of like a person that been in a long-term relationship that maybe has lost its spark or they have these secrets and they still have never shared stuff. I just think it's a great conversation starter and a great way to put stuff on the table without maybe overwhelming someone, without it being so scary for you to do it, without it being scary for your person to, you know, receive that information because you just ease into it and it's a hot way to do it. Delicious, as you would say. And I think that it's great. So I will be recommending it to people.

I will because I see it as a solution to like certain problems besides being just a great tool in an intimate relationship to, you know, make for better sex between two people or even just sex long term, you know, cyber sex. But I think it could really help people more than that and just intimacy in general within a relationship. So yeah, I think it's great. you so much for calling in and explaining your app. Yeah, this is so much fun. Yeah, totally. I'll put links. I'm so glad that I was part of it. Yeah, me too. I will put links, like I said, to the app as well as your

website. People should get in now because it's free. Okay, I love a bargain. And you want to get in now and get grandfathered while you can. And like I said, I will definitely be recommending it in the future for people because I think it's great and I think what you did was great. So, kudos to you, Elizabeth. And thanks so much for calling in and sharing your story. I really, really appreciate it. This was really fun. I'm so glad I was able to be part of it. Yeah, it was fun. Thanks so much. All right. Thank you. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available not only in paperback and ebook, but you can pre-order the audio book. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book,

book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang being girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person. And they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person. And I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like Penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right?

But these are true stories. 17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format, and finally, the audio book is available coming out August 25th. But you could pre-order it now.

And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint, okay? There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me. Okay, I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other, and that's what you get to do there. You could post your own pictures and videos.

There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total, strictly anonymous community, and you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord. It's private, like I said. All you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook, or the paperback.

Send it to me at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. That's strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. And I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in. It's the Strictly Anonymous podcast. Hey, everyone. Thanks so much for tuning in to this week's episode. If you want to follow the show, follow me at Strict Anonymous on Instagram or Twitter.

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