Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 572 - Bonus Holiday Episode: Mia on Kidnapping, Murder, Opioid Adiction, Mistaken DNA and More!

Episode Date: December 25, 2022

HAPPY HOLIDAYS! Here's a bonus episode for you. Mia has been through a murder, kidnapping, opioid addiction, mistaken DNA and more and she called in to talk all about it. Tune in for all the details including how her mom got pregnant while married and cheating, the issues she had with her father and how abusive he was, how she witnessed the murder of her grandmother, how her and her mother were then kidnapped by the murderer, who the murderer was and how they got away, how she started drinking, how it became an issue and who got her to stop, how ay years later she got addicted to pain killers and how many she was taking per day, how and why she then started on fentanyl patches only to become massively addicted to them, the intervention her brother forced on her, how she went and how she was able to successfully quit all her drugs, how she found out the dad she was raised by wasn’t really her dad and how that made her feel, how and why her brother died very young and how it effected her, how she has been able to rise above it all and maintain her great relationship with her husband and a whole lot more. **To see anonymous pics of anonymous pics of most of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. The Craigslist is definitely like the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Santa Paul or Thailand. You can't not do it.

The temptation is just too much. It's real problem. Do your friend know that you're banging her or no? No, he has no idea. And anything goes. The motto of the show, let your freak flag fly. Probably the only good advice I'll ever give you is to rehire. your wips and chain. Here is your host, Kathy.

Hey, welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast with Kathy. If you want to follow the strictly anonymous podcast on Instagram or Twitter, follow the show at Strict Anonymous. I'm giving you this episode today as like a little extra added Christmas bonus, holiday bonus, okay, not just for Christmas at Hanukkah. Everyone gets presents around this time, different holiday, same thing, same show. right here's my present to you an extra episode so for the people who have listened to all my episodes or maybe watched all the date lines on tv or like gone through all the great Netflix documentaries that they've had out nowadays and you need something new to listen to and want a

really good story that's different than my typical story that I have on my show this episode has no sex in it but it has everything else in it and it is a great story fascinating on so many levels inspiring, horrifying. There's just a lot to this episode. So I wanted to give it. You know, I've been actually sitting on it for a long time. Wondering when I'm going to air it because it's not typical of what I do on my show.

But so I figured Christmas. So here it is. It's my Christmas present to all my listeners. I do want to say thanks to all my listeners who listen to my show. I love doing what I do. It is now my full-time job. And that is because of you.

And so I just want to give a shout out to everyone who tunes into my show. I love you all. You don't even know. You can't imagine because without you listening, there would be no show. So thank you all for being listeners and for tuning. And if you want to be on the show, this is called strictly anonymous because everyone calls it and they're anonymous. Most of the time people are calling it with their naughty lives.

So if you have a naughty life that you want to talk about while remaining anonymous, you could be on the show. Some email strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com or go to strictly anonymous. is podcast.com and click on B on the Show. Or go to Instagram or Twitter and DM me there at strict anonymous. Now listen, I'm just going to fast forward through this intro

because I give it to all the time and get right to Mia's story. Now, like I said, this episode is full of all with all kinds of things. There's murder. There's kidnapping. There's mistaken DNA testing. There is opioid addiction. Fentanol addiction. And there's also Mia and her strength. You're

going to be impressed with her like I was. Okay. I think she's fucking incredible. I love that she called into my show and told me this story because it's fascinating. Mia is a girl who faced a very tragic event when she was really young. She

actually wound up seeing her father kill her grandmother right in front of her and then kidnapped her and her mother and took them away. He eventually confess, let them go, he wound up in jail, and then what happened after is just as crazy, okay? Poor Mia had like a very troubled relationship with her mother. She started drinking when she was in high school. Thank God she met like a great guy who took her out of that. But then while she was

married, she did have a time where she had an operation, we've heard the story before, and then she was like prescribed opioids. And let me tell you, this bitch was up to like 20 pills a day. I I mean, how do doctors prescribe the amount of pills that these people get? I don't even know. I mean, she was going through 180 pills, like in two weeks. Not even, she says, okay? And then they gave her fentanyl patches, so she had a whole time in her life that she was, like, very addicted to these things. She was emaciated.

She was living a double life. She was taking all this stuff on the deal. But her brother came in and got her clean. There was like a little intervention. She has been clean ever since. It's a fucking major inspirational story what she did because that's not easy to do. And she did it without a program. After that, she talks about how she found out eventually way later that her father,

the one who kidnapped her and killed her grandmother, wasn't really her father. It was a whole other guy. And she talks about that. Imagine finding out in your adulthood that who you always thought was your father. wasn't and how loaded it was for her because of who her father was as well as like who her father, real father wound up being. We talk about that whole situation. Then we talk about the fact that her brother, who was the one who saved her and gave her that information, wound up dying. She talks about that horrific experience, how that affected her. And as well as how she got through that

and didn't fall off the wagon. She is inspirational because here's a girl that went through all of that and then some. I think I'm forgetting about some stuff that she talks about this episode. But, you know, she was able to get through everything and remain sober and clean and be a good mom and have a solid relationship since. And I love talking to her. I love the episode. Like I said, if you look at for something to listen to, it's a great story. It'll keep you interested. It'll keep you inspired. And you're going to love it. So anyway, hope you enjoy my talk with Mia. I'm going to be right back on with her. Hi, Mia, Maya, Mia, Mia, Maya. Welcome to the strictly anonymous podcast. How are you today?

Good. Thank you for having me. Thank you for calling in, Mia. I don't know your whole story, but I know like the bullet points. And they're not even like long bullets. So I kind of don't really have that much info except that you wrote in your email to me. It involves murder, kidnap, DNA, DNA lies complex PTSD and addiction. And I was like, I'm effing sold. I love stories that are full-bodied and have a lot of stuff in them. And I'm a date line watcher, so I'm always in for a good murder mystery. I mean, I don't really know. I know. I've heard your shows, and I know you talk a lot about that.

Yeah. So I apologize to your listeners that these aren't sex stories, which I honestly, I love. Yeah, yeah. Okay, good. So, yeah. Listen, I have to tell you, I'm trying to think of, like, actually adding another day where I just do, like, more regular calls because I love, like, like a salacious story like this. Or I love giving someone just like regular, plain old dating advice or relationship advice. It doesn't have to be about SCX, though my show is mostly about that.

But I love to have on, like I said, a real great story. I told, if you listen to my show, I always said I love to talk shows and things like that. Yeah. I just love, like, you know, real people's story. So I'm dying to hear yours. So take it away, Mia. You do your thing and tell me your story because I don't really know that much. I don't know anything.

Okay. So I'm going to start and it's very relevant to the story. So try to kind of follow if you can. So my mom was pregnant at 15 and she married at 16. And throughout her relationship, she cheated. She worked at like a truck stop, and this was back in, you know, who knows when, but she would pump gas for the truckers. And she met someone, and they were having an affair. So shortly after she divorces the first husband for the man she's having an affair with.

And during the divorce, she's pregnant. And she's pregnant with me. She has me, and she claims allegedly that the trucker is my father. And that's who you wind up growing up with? Yes and no. Okay. When I was four, my mom had troubles with the trucker. She was addicted to cocaine, which was kind of like, you know, the speeder back in the day.

It kept him awake for driving. And he became aggressive. and controlling and violent, and he would time her to go places. Oh, God. So she packed me up and took me to her mom's, which would be my grandmother. Well, he wasn't having that, and so he got a sought-off shotgun, and he came to my grandmother's house. And I don't know what his intent was. I don't know if he wanted to kill my mom, me.

I have no clue. My grandmother fought him at the door and tried to keep him away. And when she picked up a chair to hit him with it, he shot her in the chest. Oh, my goodness. It was your grandmother that was murdered by this trucker guy? Yeah. Were you there watching? Did you see it?

Yes. I would but I was four so it's like I honestly Kathy I don't know how much I even remember if I even remember is it something like a scenario that I played in my head or you know so sometimes I like I hear things and it's just weird the human mind is very protective yes especially something like that yeah so anyway he kidnaps me and my mom by gunpoint. And as they're walking out of the house, my grandmother's still alive. And he's forcing my mom to leave with me and leave her lay there.

Oh, my goodness. And from what I heard was that the fragments exploded in her chest. So she didn't die right away. She basically, like, suffocated type dying. Oh, my God. And so, oh, it's terrible. So he takes us by gunpoint to Iowa to his adopted parents. And I don't know the whole, you know, it's really hard to get honest answers for my mom and especially something so traumatic for her.

Yeah, because maybe the same mind thing that happens to you is going to happen to her too, right? I mean, is it her being honest or she doesn't even know or you're not capable of capturing all of that truth, even herself? Right. Mm-hmm. Right. And honestly, I think for her, it's just so painful. Of course. Oh, my goodness.

Yeah. I couldn't imagine. No, you're four. How old was your mother? She was in her, she was 18, or in her early 20s. Oh, my goodness. Yeah. So he, my mom talks him into letting me go in my aunt.

He also kidnapped my aunt who was 14, my mom's sister. Oh, she was at the house too. Yeah. So he kidnapped us and he talked my mom into letting us go. And I don't know how we got let go, but we did. And then my mom talked him into turning himself over to the police. So he was arrested and he was charged for murder and kidnapped. and I grew up with a mother who was single,

who her family rejected us because it was my mom's boyfriend that killed my grandmother. Oh, right. And so, yeah. And so my mom lived a really lonely, lonely life, trying to come back from something like that by herself. on her own with small children. And now I have two older brothers. Now, they are from her first marriage.

And so they were taken from my mom, actually, by their dad and his parents. And they were, because of everything that had happened, they got custody of my older brothers. Right. So they got custody after. is shooting. Yes. Mm-hmm. Which at that point, honestly, I think my mom was maybe a little relieved because that's really scary to think about having all those little ones and nowhere to go.

Yeah. Mm-hmm. And so I grew up with my mom struggled. She was, you know, she worked her ass off. But she also did a lot of not so good things. You know, she drank a lot. She partied a lot. She just was she was there but she wasn't there you know and we fought and I argued with her a lot and I hated her and I resented her and you know all that 14 year old bullshit yeah yeah totally so uh we we had a troubled troubled teenage years together and so I started to kind of get a little bit closer to her, a little bit older. And it wasn't until I had my first child that I really got close with her. And I realized, and this was years after, that I really put it in her perspective of what

she had went through. Right. Just so much tragedy and addiction and men, abusive men after abusive men, and, you know, just junk. It was absolute junk. So my life was anything but perfect. But, uh, so I, I got a little bit older. And when I turned 21, I started partying a lot. I went to the bar every night.

Mm-hmm. And did what 21 year olds do. But then it became like, it became like an issue. You know, it, it was like I couldn't not be at the bar partying. And I had this really great boyfriend, and he wasn't a drinker, and he wasn't a partier. And I'm surprised that he actually stayed with me, honestly. But so what I ended up happening was I went to rehab. And I don't think it was so much for like, there wasn't a lot like withdrawal or anything like that.

I think it was just, I thought I scared myself. You know, I just thought there's so much addiction in my life, you know, my family's lives that I was just really worried that I had become addicted. But really what it was was addicted. It was more of an addiction to the party life, like the fun, the going out, the getting dressed up. So. Like the rush, you mean, like the high of it all, the, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That felt better than, you know, waking up hungover. And so anyhow, so I quit drinking. And I continued on with my boyfriend, who is now my husband. And we've been together for 15 years. And we just celebrated our 10-year wedding anniversary.

That's pretty amazing that you were able to have such a successful relationship, especially because you mentioned he was like he's a good guy, right? He doesn't drink. He doesn't have any of the issues. I mean, you were really lucky because a lot of times when people have a lot of things put on them. They tend to attract people maybe that aren't so great. You look just like your poor mother, you know, and she was like all these unsavory men around her. I don't know where you saw this positive relationship in your life, but somehow you managed to find one for yourself. I mean, you got to give yourself some credit there. Well, honestly, it didn't end there. Oh, okay. Yeah, no, I, I spent many years, you know, trial and error and doing everything wrong to try to figure out how to do everything right. Yeah. You know, and I'm not perfect by any means. None of us are. You know, and I'm surprised that I am where I am now in a good way. So I had a major operation where I had both of my legs broken.

They hollowed both of my femurs out and put metal rods in. So it was a really painful, painful, painful surgery. And they put me on painkillers, right? So a week out of surgery was kind of rough. And then a couple weeks out, and then like three weeks out, I was still on these painkillers. And they made me feel good. Oh, so good. I know.

Energy and I just felt great. And I was, I had had my daughter then and she was, you know, like a toddler. And I was getting a lot of pain pills. And it's not the fault of the doctors entirely. I mean, I take responsibility for this too. But they were giving me 180 pills a month. Oh, my goodness. How many how long after your operation?

Oh, gosh. I mean, you know, I had started seeing pain management. And when I got up to that point, I had been a year into the pain pills already. And they're still giving you 180. Sorry, you can blame the doctors. There's something wrong. Yeah.

I'm sorry. Okay, that's not fucking normal. Who does that? No, I know. Who's writing that and not thinking about the, if someone needs that much pain medication, they need more than pain medication. If you need 180 pills a day, you're in that much pain.

You need the fucking hospital ASAP, okay? I mean, come on. It's ridiculous. Well, and that didn't even last me a week. What? 180 pills? Maybe it lasted me about a week and a half. I would take 20 pills a day.

Oh, my God. Yeah. I don't know how you survived that. That's tough on your heart. I mean, like that shit. You know what I mean? Well, and that wasn't even the worst of it. So I

So before it became such a huge problem What had happened was I tried to stop because I was a young mom And I, you know And it scared me because I enjoyed it And so I tried to stop And I felt really sick And I couldn't stop

Physically I was so dependent That I couldn't take care of this This infant And go through withdrawals And admit to people that I was going through withdrawals, especially my husband. Right. Who is pretty known in the community for like the fire department and, you know, just so it was

embarrassing. And so, but, you know, a year went on and I know he saw me struggle and I know he knew what I was doing, but I had lied my way through so much. And then so I was, you know, I was lying to the doctors and, you know, 180 pills. They weren't lasting me. And so they thought, this idiot doctor thought, you know what, we'll put this mid-20 year old girl on fentanyl patches. Let's just really fuck up our life, you know. So I was put on fentanyl patches and I was put on the lowest dose and it got to where that wasn't enough. So they upped my dose.

And if people don't know, I mean, explain what fentanyl is. Basically like what people are doing now. instead of heroin. Same shit, right? Cheaper. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So they gave you heroin. Oh, don't take, the opioids are working here, some fucking heroin. Yeah. Yeah. And honestly, Kathy, it made me not off while I was driving. I became skin and bones. I was

so sickly looking. So fucking sickly. And I looked like a crackhead. And the way I acted was that of a crackhead. Right. Right. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. You know, so I mean, you were drug addict. I mean, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's like a Khaa drug addict. You know, that's, it's like a term people just use.

But you don't have to be doing crack to look like a fucking crackhead. It's like a drug addict. You look like a drug addict because you were. It's all poison. Yeah. Really. And it's destructive. And it kills.

I, you know, I can't even believe I'm alive because I would double up on those patches. And not only that, I'm going to tell you what I learned recently from a friend who cop to the fact that he was doing fentanyl and I. I had no idea for years. This is a best friend of mine since, like, high school. And I didn't know this, and it's very true, is that you hear of these people dying from heroin or opioids or anything. It's because they got clean and then they went back. If you're doing it and you're doing it all the time, somehow you could do it.

But it's like if you go clean for a year or six months or something that one time you go back, your body can't handle it. And that's how people get off. That's like the worst thing. He wound up in the hospital. when he went clean for two years and then he fell off the wagon and boom he wakes up to that fucking needle in his jabbing in his chest and being woken up

because you're that's and you always hear that oh they were clean for two years and you just got a drug overdose because that's what happens physically your body forgot how to deal with it. Right. Well and honestly they wouldn't have given me the fentanyl patch if I wasn't already on an opiate

because it will kill you. Right. You're right. That's all it takes. And I would suck on those patches And I would double up on those patches and I would put heat on those patches to intensify my hide. So I was like gone. I was like there wasn't even a person there, honestly. And I don't know how I didn't overdose. I really don't.

And I remember a few times where I was scared because my heart rate was slowing down and my breathing was slowing down. And I was nodding off. And I thought, this is it. Yeah. Like this is how I'm going to die. Yeah. I wanted to die. I really did because I could not live that way anymore.

I just could not. But then I looked at my daughter and I said, you know what? Enough's the fucking enough. And stupid me, okay? Stupid me took the patches off, went and laid in my bed for four days. I don't know how I didn't die from withdrawal. Yeah. It was horrible.

It was, oh, God, it was horrible. And my mom had a, well, let me back up a little bit. Yeah. So my family had all had like an intervention with me. My brother narmed me out. And my mom was like, is she sticking needles in her arm? Is she doing heroin? Is she?

And my brother's like, no, she's not sticking needles in her arm, but she's fucked up on, you know, opiates. So they all had like this intervention with me. and I guess all of that just kind of really, you know, it hit me. And that's when I realized when I took the patches off. And my brother is pissed off as I was at him because I was really pissed. Of course. I am so grateful because he's a part of why I'm still here today. Yes.

Intervention. I used to love that show. I mean, they do work and that is a very smart thing to do if you have a loved one because talking to them and thinking that they're going to be able to do it alone or make that decision is like you're talking fucking Chinese to somebody that doesn't understand it. I mean, it's just it's not going to work. You really need to come together and be there for that person. It's life or death. Yeah.

It really is. And what do you have to lose as a person intervening with your loved one? You can piss them off. So what? At least you could be part of the reason that they could still be alive. Yeah, absolutely. And so anyway, so I stopped. Cold turkey, four days.

I don't know how you got through that. I mean, people get hospitalized to go off of. Because I'm fucking stupid. That's why. No, you're, I think you're hardcore. I think you're a little hardcore. I could have done it a lot better, though. I could have went to rehab and let them medicate me.

But I didn't, and I wished I would have, you know, like most of the way through it. But my mom, my mom had like what we call a witch doctor. She was a cannabis grower and medical whatever. And she made all kinds of stuff, you know, like Jolly Ranger candies. And so she gave me a few joints. And I'm not a pot smoker at all.

I hate smoking pot. Yeah. But I thought, you know, and she's like, if it gets really bad, here's this. And what it was was, was it was like a tincture. And she goes, just drop a few drops under your tongue. Well, like my third day into withdrawal, I like crawl downstairs because I had to hide it for my husband. And I, and he was gone.

And I lit up a joint in my basement because it was like 20 degrees outside with snow. And then I took this tincture and I poured the whole thing under my tongue. Oh, my God. Because I was so desperate. Yeah, yeah. Well, you're saying that's the same girl that's like licking her fat in all patches. Exactly. Exactly.

Desper and stupid. But yeah. No, an addict. That's a fucking addict, okay? Seriously. Whatever we like, we want all more. It's more. And knowing me, you would never think I would be an addict.

Right. You know? I mean, I guess if you know my past, that would be easy to put two and two together. But like the way that I live now, people would never think that I had been an addict unless they saw me skin and bones. And which in that case, I didn't really go anywhere. Right. By that point, you couldn't. No.

I was on my couch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I barely showered. I barely, you know, it became so destructive. So before, okay, so before all that, when I was like, and I left this part out and I forgot, when I was like a mid-teenager and I was, you know, hating on my mom, you know, I found my birth certificate. And on my birth certificate was the name of a father who was my mom's first husband. Oh, wait. So did she?

Oh, I thought she didn't know. So she knew, but didn't tell you. Because I was thinking the whole time that this trucker, she just made a gas and said, okay, and went with it. Maybe she, and you were going to wind up saying later, she wound up being wrong. But she knew that it wasn't him because he wasn't on the birth certificate. Yep, I think so. But it's weird to me because when they were going through the divorce, I, I know that she'd

lied to them about being pregnant because they questioned her about being pregnant. Right. Because she was trying to keep them from, you know, because they had started a custody battle way before the murder, you know, with my brothers. Yeah. So

anyway, so yeah, so I found out that her first husband is my dad. And so I, he's a fucked up person too, really. Well, I was going to ask you because I don't want to keep interrupting you because your story's so great, but I just wanted to know, like, how is, how does that make you feel at that moment?

Because here you were this teenager thinking all this time that your dad was a murderer who did all these awful things. And then all of a sudden that gets lifted and you're not connected to that person. And it's somebody else that what a mind fuck. But maybe in a good way, I don't know. How did you feel? You know what? Probably not even in a good way because I was pissed. I was really fucking pissed. Right. Because my brothers weren't even raised by our dad. They were raised by our grandparents. Mm-hmm.

His parents. Yeah. And they have money. They had a good life. They had new vehicles. They came over every other weekend with brand new Abercrombie and bitch clothes and, you know, all of that stuff. And we were living so, like, we were being evicted. my mom didn't have money to pay the electricity or you know just scared about how we were going to survive you know oh yeah so

that must really be a mind fuck because there you are looking like that's the life you could have had and should have had I mean yeah had it not been a big lie and it really affected you that decision for whoever it benefited it really changed your life yeah did and what really changed my heart life was when I did the DNA test and I found out, you know, for sure. And once I found out for sure, he didn't want anything to do with me. The real father. Is he weak? Is the murderer guy, the guy that murder? Is he still in jail? Or do we get to that? Yeah. Okay. He's still in jail. He's in prison for life. Oh, okay. I mean, sometimes like as I said, I watch a lot of date. Sometimes people get out 10 years. There's no rhyme or reason. And sometimes

I'm like, how was a fucking murderer? Like, I don't know. You'd think you'd kill somebody a couple times. Like, you would be in jail for your whole life. But no, they get out six years later. So he's in for life. Because it was premeditated. Because he knew he was going there to cause bodily harm.

Oh, okay. That's the difference. He went there. No, yeah. So anyway, so my grandma, honestly, Kathy, my grandma is my hero. Right. And I I could have had that relationship with her because she saved my fucking life that day. Yeah.

Yeah. That's the love of a mother and a grandmother to step in front of your kids and grandkids and fight this man with a gun. Yeah, that's the mother instinct, though. I mean, you have a child. Wouldn't you do the same thing for your child? Oh, I would kill for my child. Yeah. We all feel that.

I mean, any mom knows. That's an in-crain thing, you know. Yeah, seriously. Like, we're like the mama bears. Like, we just don't fuck with my cub. Yeah. But, um. Yeah, you were saying before I interrupted you about the DNA, like, how did you feel about

that? That he wanted nothing to do with you. I mean, was that a story or that just like, I mean, how did that, what happened there? You know, I felt like, I felt like I wasn't losing anything because it was never mine at the beginning. Right. You know, so as much as like, yeah, we have the same blood, this and that, where the fuck was he? You know, if they had suspicion that my mom was pregnant during the divorce, couldn't their lawyer have demanded a DNA test when I was born?

Right. Like, go fuck yourselves. You know, that's how I feel about him. Okay. But he's a drunk. He's a total drunk. Yeah, okay. He's just pitiful, absolutely pitiful.

But honestly, it was better than knowing or growing up thinking that the one in prison was my dad. Yeah, I understand that too. Okay. So nothing worse than that. Yeah. But so I guess going into, okay, so my brother, my older brother served two tours in Iraq and Afghanistan in the Marines. And this was right after, like shortly after 9-11 happened, maybe a year or two. And so it was really bad over there, like really, really bad.

And he came home and suffered from severe PTSD, as they all do. Yeah. And he drank and he drank and he drank and he drank and smoke pot and drank some more. And he would drink just liquor, you know. How old was he at the time? late 20s maybe when he served and so he was 30s when he got early 30s when he got out okay yeah or maybe it was even before no he was early 20s when he served and then he was like I don't know late 20s when he was back and then he so late 20s he started drinking really heavy and um he would call me crying and he would say, I need you, and I knew why he,

he needed me. And it was because he was in a drinking fog, and he was just reliving and rehashing all of those memories. Right. He would just cry to me, like, I couldn't, we didn't bring them home and he, you know, because a lot of people, you know, died. And so right before my brother ended up dying. This brother?

Yeah. How did he die? He was the one that narked me out. He's the one that saved your life. Yeah. And so now I just feel like I just couldn't save his. But how did he die? We don't know.

My mom wouldn't let them do a full autopsy. But I mean, nobody. You mean you just came home one day and he was dead? Like, I mean, like, I don't think, you didn't say how he died. I'm not saying like. Well, no, no, no. I didn't live with him. Yeah.

This was recently. This was like four or five years ago, four years ago. Yeah. He was found dead by my older brother at like one o'clock in the morning. He was out at the, with my grandparents have a pole barn out there. And he would spend all the time out there drinking. And so he never came in. So my grandma woke up my brother and said,

can you go check on your brother? Well, he was hunched over and he was lifeless. There was nothing to it. Right. So, but right before he died, two of the guys that he served with committed suicide. So he was really fucked up from that. But Kathy, what I can tell you is before my brother died,

he complained a lot of heartburn. and it would double him over. It would completely for like, 10, 15 minutes and he would pound on his chest. But that's heart. That could be heart related. I know. That's why I think he died. So, but my mom was, my mom was devastated and she was a wreck.

And she just wanted to see his body at the morgue. And they wouldn't let her see him until they did their autopsy. And she didn't want them to do the full autopsy. but they rolled out that it wasn't suicide. And of course his drug and alcohol screening came back with, you know, alcohol and pot. But that doesn't kill you. No, yeah, exactly. But I don't know.

I mean, I think he had a heart attack. Yeah, that heartburn stuff that was happening, doubling him over, that was probably something was going. He was maybe having many strokes. I don't know. But that was obviously something was really going. on and I think you could say you're maybe your brother died of a broken heart. I mean he had a lot of tragedy that he witnessed

and saw. Yeah. You know, the heart could take so much, I think. Yeah. Sad. Yeah. But he was my best friend and he still is. But that out of all the tragedy I've had in my life and all the fucked up

shit, that was the worst. Of course. That was the worst. And I miss him. like no other. But I also know that he was in pain and he was suffering.

But a selfish part of me just wants him back, you know, even though I know he's better where he is. Yeah. But, you know, life is just really fucked up sometimes. But we all have our, we all have our stories. And I'm not the kind of person that wants, like,

the attention or the pity or I don't. No, you tried to back out of this a lot of times. I was like, no, I want your story. Even though I didn't know anything, I just heard the tagline. You know, the bullets. It's a lot because I, and I was diagnosed with complex PTSD, of course, and a bunch of stuff. But I, so it's hard.

It's almost like my brain is guarding me from feeling, those feelings. Isn't that crazy? No, it's normal. And especially, but I'm curious, you know, as somebody, who was an addict and you had those times in your life where you reached for something and it soothed you. Did you ever have the feeling to go back or to check out with some, an opioid or anything? Did you ever fall out the wagon or you've been totally clean? Nope, never.

And I actually broke my foot and had surgery this last year. And they put me on the same paid pills. Yeah. I took one. Yeah. And I told my husband just, I don't need them anymore. I'm good. And I was still in a lot of freaking pain. Right.

But I was like, no, no, no, no. So I took ibuprofen and that's what normal people do. So I know, Kathy, I, no, as hard as it was to pull myself out of death. Yeah. Really? Mm-hmm. And I have two children, small children who need a mother, a present mother, a loving mother, a soft mother. there's no way in hell I'd ever go back to that.

Right. The feeling of that, the everything of that. It makes you feel good at first, but not after a long period of time. Yeah, it's a whole mind fuck because it's like chasing, it becomes chasing the dragon because you can't, like you said, you wanted to get off of it and you tried and then you'd feel so terrible so you'd have to go back

and it's like, what's the end here? The end is either you fucking drop dead one day or you lose everything. You sabotage. Your whole life goes in the shitter. Or you have to go through that time of getting off of it, which is brutal. I mean, there's no positives once you walk into that world. You know, it's... No.

No. It's hard. It was really hard. And so, but I wouldn't take myself back to that place. And as hard as it is to feel my feelings that I feel now, because after I stopped using, like, a flood of light just hit me. Of course. Like all at one time, it was like just bam, you know, and I felt everything.

Well, duh, you know, there was a girl that I was following on Instagram. She saved an addict recently. And she does all like all these, like, Instagram posts about things. And she's super interesting and entertaining. And she met this guy on the street and he was, like, hooked on a lot of really bad drugs. I think maybe it was opioids. I don't know what it was. But she, like, took him in under her wing.

She was like, I'm saving this fucking guy. And it was like really beautiful what she was doing. And she really cleaned him up and got him to quit his drugs. And then, and I really wanted to chime in, but I kept my mouth shut. But I was really bothered by what happened afterwards because what happened was he finally got clean. And then he started acting psychotic. And everybody, including her, thought that she had failed and that he had failed. And everyone was like, oh, there's nothing you could do for him now.

Like he quit and he's not normal. It's like, well, people don't understand with drugs. addicts and drug use. The drugs have nothing fucking to do with it. The minute you take them away, the person doesn't wind up to be a normal person. That's when you start to deal with the reasons and the problems and the issues of why they chose to be so fucking knocked out. That was normal what happened to him. That wasn't a failure. It was like amazing that he was able to kick the actual drug. But the minute you take away the drug or the alcohol or the sex or God, whatever it is, you're fucking checking out with, then the hard work starts.

Because now you have to deal with the fucking reason that you were doing it to begin with. The fact that he wound up to act the way that he was was normal. That's a part of the process. And he needed professional help at that point. But everybody saw it like, oh, this is a failure. Because so many people think that an alcoholic or a sex addict or a drug addict, heroin addict, any kind of addict, it's the actual drug or thing is the problem. and they think we're going to take it away and like the movies, the person's going to be fine.

It's like, no, that thing was not the problem. The problem is underneath that thing. And you only realize it when you quit the fucking drugs or the alcohol, why you were doing it to begin with because all that stuff comes up. And the worse the drug, the more shit that's going to come up. Someone that's doing fentanyl and all this stuff, of course is going to have your backstory. There's so much there that you had to be so fucking numb. And that's what happened. So of course all that came.

up because you finally, you weren't suppressing it. You were looking at it in the mirror when it takes years to unpack stuff, you know? Yeah, I'm still working on it. And I don't even the therapy and I know I should. I know that I should. But I have so much and I shouldn't make excuses. But my son has special needs. So I, you know, I spend so much of my time doing therapies for him that I know that I need to take an hour week to talk to somebody, but I also don't like talking about it. But you do. You have to find that replacement for those drugs and alcohol and sex and all that. You can't just expect that normal life is just going to go back to the way it was because it will never be the same. Never. But you've got to really. Right. But what you're faced with to me when you get off of

that stuff and you're there, you're faced with the real you. This is what you are. This is what you are. is it. This is all of it. Like, you know, this is the fucking shit that was put on you. This is who you are. These are the shitty fucking hand of cards you were dealt with. Now, deal with it and get better and work

at it. And from there you move on. And that's what happens. Because like, we could all sit around crying about our circumstances, but life is short. You can, listen, you could take a fucking year to cry about your circumstances because they're way

worse than most people. You're on the end of the spectrum. Most people fall in the middle. We have hard days. You know, you've had a really bad fucking shit. But at some point, it's like, what can you do if you really want to do the best thing to do is like solve those problems. Try to work at it. Unpack as much as you can. You might never be completely whole because of the stuff that you, but you could be a lot better. And it gets better every year you stay clean and sober. You do. And I get it. Listen, sometimes I'm a mom. I have things as I haven't been in therapy my whole life, but there's been times in my life where I've been therapy two or three years. You'll do it at the right time and you should do it. And sometimes it's not the right time. And you're a

strong bitch because the fact that you have been able to be, to do what you've done and be the person that you are and the mom and kick the stuff and without therapy and without a program and everything is amazing and it's great and it's amazing and I believe that it can be done and your proof but it says something about you and who you are and I think yes therapy could always help I've come to the conclusion as somebody that was an addict and drank and had things to unpack that maybe you're never going to be completely whole like I said but you want to be as good as you can be and sometimes it isn't the right time for therapy because you just got to deal with regular life like you said you have a child and you got to do that, but you'll get into it when you need to.

And it will be amazing for you, but it's great that, I mean, the true test for an addict, I think, is, listen, here you were, your brother died. There's nothing worse than what happened at that moment, right? That was the guy who saved you. It was your brother, your closest relationship. And he was found dead at a very young age. The fact that you didn't go back to your drugs or anything, at that was the truest task like you're pretty fucking solid in your sobriety you know yeah well i never wanted to be i never wanted to be an addict you know i went into this because i had a medical procedure and yes i had back trauma and yes i i drank when i was 21 but i never thought in a million years that i would be an addict right and because of the surgeries

that I had was the reason that I was even introduced to these pills. But yeah. But you also have the genes. You mentioned your father's drinks all the time, your mother. It's in your jeans. It's like it's just sometimes it's like the perfect, it's a concoction. It's like you couldn't help it. You had these jeans and they were activated by that.

That's what, that's sometimes what happens, you know. And because you also had stuff that maybe you were not wanting to come down. I mean, you had a little bit of that when you said you were starting to drink. and you were like addicted to all that stuff, you know? Yeah. And it's in your DNA. Yeah. Well, and if you, and honestly, if I tell you this, so I have four siblings.

Yeah. And so there's five of us and not one of us ever lived a completely sober life. Of course. Every one of them were fucked up. Every fucking one of us. But I, but I'm not anymore. And I'll never. be that again because I have my children and my husband. Honestly, Kathy, my husband,

he could have left me so many times. Oh yeah, your husband was sent from fucking the heavens but like your grandmother sent you your husband. I mean like like I said with your history and your past and all the stuff that you went through daddy issues not knowing who you're fucking baby daddy. I mean you would think you'd be with a guy abusing you. That's what happens typically. You somehow very much were lucky to meet and have a great relationship. Because like I said, you had no role models. You saw no good men in your life. You had a mother.

So where did you learn that? How did you attract that to yourself? It's like a fucking miracle. And it's amazing. And it's a gift. You know, and you're super lucky that you have him. I am. Because honestly, I think you're right.

I think my grandmother sent him to me. Yeah. I think because I could have went down that path so easily, but I didn't want that. I think maybe that's why I kind of clung, like, clinging on to a guy that didn't have a drinking problem. Yeah. He never drank smoke. And I really loved that about him. I loved this stability in that.

And I loved, and he, we were so in love when we met, you know. I mean, I can't say that we're not, I mean, we're not in love in love now. Yeah. Of course it's different all those years. It's not that. But you had that initial feeling. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, you're very lucky. And it's good. I mean, like you were raised around such instability. So here comes a guy that was the total opposite. And you're smart enough to be like, I want fucking, like, save me. Yeah. And I think, you know, what a better sort of thing that you could do to honor your brother who passed, who saved you, you know, is to never go back and to stay clean.

And in that way, you really will always be, you know, honoring him. Yeah. No, I agree completely. And like I said, you know, I couldn't save him. I don't think anybody could save him at that time. Right. But he did save me. And I'm grateful for that too.

So I have a lot of guardian angels. Yeah. And I have a lot of support with my husband. and I've got my kids and those are the things that make me want to be better. So I do better because I need to be better. Yeah, you hold yourself accountable. I mean, I never did AA or anything. And I've always been like super successful at being clean and sober.

You didn't do a program, right? But you're successful at it. And one of the things, though, and like a friend of mine who was big into the program, it was always like, oh, you're successful at it without the program because you like live the program without even realizing it. A big part of the program and what they teach people to do is be accountable. Hold yourself accountable. Talk about it.

Be honest with people about what you're doing. And then that holds you accountable and then you're not going to do it. You know, so I think you're like me in that you live that naturally. You do those things naturally. It's who you are. And that does help. And we all need that. And it is really good.

Yeah. I'm very upfront and very brutally. But when I was addicted, Kathy, it wasn't me. Right. There's no fucking way because I would never lie, steal, or I don't have it in me. But when I was addicted, I did. And that's a terrible, terrible thing. And I will forever be sorry for anyone that I've ever hurt.

But I hate when people say that, you know, that's just them showing their truth. I know. Have you heard me talk about that on my show before? Because that makes me fucking mental. And I always talk about that. That no. Two things I say to that. One, that's why it's so bad to be an addict yourself because what you're doing to yourself is you're not being who you are. And that's so terrible to do to you because then people judge you. And it's not who you are. Right. But the most, the thing about it that bothers me the most like you said is that people say, oh, that's like you're when real you comes out. It's like, no. That's when you're not being yourself at all. And that's the biggest crime. Because you're being the opposite of who you are. So these people that are listening, if you have a partner that's hooked on, like that's not who they really are. And the best thing that someone could do for themselves to get clean is so that they can

show people who they really are. It's not. It's the opposite. Yeah. No, really. I would never have done those. Never have done that. Right.

Totally not who you are. I love that. But I get accountable. And I know that. I did those things. And I, and I, you know, and, you know, it's been, gosh, it's been six years that I haven't been addicted, you know. But I'm going to keep pushing on because I have to. Because I've never been given anything on a silver fucking platter, okay?

And so working, you know, having a good life involves work, involves, you know, I've got to be accountable for my life. Yeah, I think, listen, the positive out of having a very difficult childhood is sometimes the fact that you could be it. you're a tough bitch. You could, you could handle really tough things. I remember I talked about this roommate before, like I had a roommate once who like, she was crying hysterically, like gasping for air crying, like that kind of crying. And I was like, oh my God, what's wrong? And she was like, I lost my paycheck. And I was like, oh, okay. And I'm like, look at it. And she's like literally like gasping for air crying. I'm like, can't they issue you a new one? Yeah, they're going to be able to. And I just remember thinking at that point of my life. I think it was like feeling sorry for

myself about like wow the fact that this girl this is the biggest problem in her life that makes her gasping for air crying how fucking perfect was this bitch's life i know this is a major crying with you know what would have to happen for me to cry gasping i don't even know because i never have in my life i mean you know what i mean so yeah that's really close to you that would make you, but I'm the same way. I'm not a crier. I'm not a pity party or I'm not any of those things. Yeah, it's like that's the thing. You get a certain kind of

strength and a toughness and it gives you sort of a realistic, a more so realistic view of real life because eventually life does become messy and difficult for everybody, you know? Yeah. If you had it really tough and I mean, your story is crazy.

It's like most people would never have it as hard as you. That's a lot of your strength. You get it there. You know, and that's amazing. And that has helped you. That's a pro you could take from having such a piece of garbage upbringing. You know what I mean? Seriously. You want to hear something funny. So like whenever I always watch talk shows to you, like I'm a huge Dr. Phil fan. But before Dr. Phil, it was all the others. And I would be like, oh my God, there's stories so fucked up. You know, there would be murder and and lots. I'm like, oh, four children, and I'm like, oh, wait, that's my life.

I should be on one of these shows. Yeah, well, listen, Maya, okay? Like, you are on one of those shows. It's my show and wait until, I have to tell you, it's going to be pretty amazing for you. I don't know if you, have you ever talked about this on a show before, or is this my first time? Never. I've never. Okay, well, it's going to be really amazing for you to hear your.

your story and you tell it in the third person. Like very healing, I think, for you. You're going to see it. Maybe it'll be the thing that makes you want to go to therapy and do it more because what I always get when I hang up the phone when I have especially intense conversations with people that have problems or something deeper, you know, it's like, oh my God, like that was amazing. Like they just feel so good after just talking about it. But I'm always like, wait until you actually hear it.

That's a whole other kind of experience that is going to be beneficial that you can't understand until you go back and listen. So I can't wait for you to listen to this. I am so glad I never said, fuck off Maya for you canceling your appointment so many times. I was like, no way. Am I going to, I'm just going to go with it. You kept, I felt like you were trying to get an out because there were so many times like, oh, I have to cancel again. And I'm sorry. Maybe I shouldn't do this. And I'm like, I'm not giving her an out. I'm just, whenever you want to call it, I'm going to take your call because I really wanted to hear this story. I am so glad you called. in, I have so much respect for you.

I think you're amazing. What you've been through is horrifying. About who you are today is great. And I love your story because I feel like it gives people hope. And I also think that it will actually help you when you listen to it. I hope I don't sound stupid.

No, you're a smart bitch and a strong one. You're amazing. You don't sound stupid at all. I love this whole story. Thank you so much for calling in. And my audience, I can't, don't care that it has nothing to do with SCX. It's going to be great. I don't know when I'm going to air it, but it'll probably be within the next month. So stay tuned in. Please reach out to me and let me know what you think after you hear it. Yeah, for sure. I will. And thank you for talking with me.

Oh my God. You don't understand. I could have talked to you for like three more hours. I love your show. I'm obsessed. I want to do more stories like this. I love this kind of stuff too. It's such a part of who I am. It's why I started my show, but it just turned into this whole thing about SCX over there. And that's fine. I have a large audience for this. But I love. I love. this kind of stuff too. So thank you for allowing me to have this conversation because I think a lot of people don't think that I would do it, but I do it. And not only do I do it, I love it. Well, I love the advice that you've given me. So thank you so much. Thank you, Maya. Thanks for calling in. Bye.

Bye. Hey, everyone. Okay. I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available, not only in paperback and e-book, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like, there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang-being girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person. and they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person. And I wouldn't really call it like

a total erotica book. Think like penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. 17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback. format. And finally, the audio book is available coming out August 25th, but you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint. Okay. There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me. Okay. I give it to people who buy my book.

There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other. And that's what you get to do there. You could post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total strictly anonymous community and you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord. It's private, like I said. All you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook or the paperback. Send it to me at strictly anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. That's Strictly Anonymous Podcasts at Gmail.com.

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