Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 574 - Jayden Feels Guilty About Cheating but he Can't Stop

Episode Date: December 28, 2022

Jayden feels guilty about cheating but he can't stop and he called in to talk all about it. When did he start cheating? Why does he cheat? And, who does he cheat on his partner with?? Tune in for all the details which include, how his girlfriend is super vanilla and why he hasn’t told her about any of his kinks, how and why he was into hiring escorts and why the transactional sex was so good for him, how he grew up without any positive relationships around him and how that effected his relationships, how he sees a therapist and why he believes he is an addict, his hook ups with trans women and why he’s into them, his interest in pee play, his first time bottoming and why he wasn’t into it, the poly woman he met on reddit, why her primary poly relationship died and why their “relationship” died as well, his fear of commitment and how and why all his cheating might be related, why he needs to be more open about who he really is to his girlfriend and why he hasn’t been able to do that so far, how feeling bad about seeing escorts and cheating makes him feel about himself, how that effects how his relationship and a whole lot more. **To see anonymous pics of most of my other female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. The Craigslist is definitely like the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Singapore or Thailand. You can't not do it.

The temptation is just too much. It's real problem. Do your friend know that you're banging her or no? No, he has no idea. And anything goes. The motto of the show, let your freak flag fly. Probably the only good advice I'll ever give you is to rehire. your whips and chain. Here is your host, Kathy.

Hey, welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast with Kathy. If you want to follow the Strictly anonymous podcast on Instagram or Twitter, follow the show at Strict Anonymous. If you want to be on the show, it's called Strictly Anonymous because everybody's voices are changed. So if you have an interesting life that you want to talk about while remaining anonymous and it's super naughty or really interesting. I don't know. You could be on the show. Just send me an email, Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. Go to my website, strictly anonymous podcast.com and click on be on the show or go to Instagram or Twitter at strict anonymous. DM me there. If you want to call into my advice hotline, it's kind of like a

confessions hotline. You could do that 24-7. The guy who's on today, Jada, and he left a message on there about all of his fucking cheating. And I was like, oh my God, you need to come on the show. And that's how I found him. If you want to call into that Confessions Hotline, you could call that 24-7. The voices are changed there as well. I air those confessions on my Patreon. The number is 347-4-4-203579. That's 347-4-2-0-3579. If you want to talk to me on the DL, right, like you want to talk to me, but you don't want me to air. your episode. I offer that.

Also, I love those conversations. Most of the time people are calling me on that in that way because they have an issue or a problem they want to advice on and they have no one to talk to and they want to keep it on the deal. I, like I said, offer that. You can send me an email if you're interested. Strictly not on this podcast at gmail.com. All of the information that I just gave you, blah, blah, blah is in my description.

I got to give it on every intro. That's my thing. And if you want to be on the show to do that. I say that already? Yes, I mean email. So today I have on Jaden. Now Jaden did call the Confessions Hotline and talked about all of his cheating. And people on my page chat, I remember we're saying like, oh my God, you're going to have a field day with this guy because he was like cheating on his girlfriend with everybody. Escorts, Camgirls, adult only fans, shit. And he was with a very, he's very vanilla girl who knows nothing about not only what he's doing behind her back, but knows nothing

about what he's like really into. He's a young guy. He's 26. He has not put it on the table what he's into instead he lives like a double life he believes he's addicted to the stuff that he's doing and when i'm talking to someone that thinks that they're an addict there has an addiction sort of an issue i talk a lot okay so this is your warning warning warning warning i do a lot of fucking talking on this episode because i'm an addict and i quit things and so whenever i'm talking to somebody that has the same thing i just feel like they're my people and i have a lot to fucking say and i get really excited because I love to go really deep on things and I go really deep with him. This is a very interesting episode.

I feel like because you see the insides of a cheater, a really horrible cheater if you heard his initial confession, which I'm going to try to find an air on here for you guys. I mean, if you heard just that, you'd be like, oh, what a scumbag. But instead, I don't think you're going to think he's a scumbag after you listen, after you listen to this. because this is a guy, Jaden, who cheats, but he feels bad about it. He's looking for his way out.

He called in for like some therapy, quote, unquote. You know, he's seeing a therapist. He puts it all out. He talks about why he hasn't told her what he's into because she's vanilla, you know, the escorts that he has seen in the past. You know, what he likes about transactional sex. He talks about the trans women that he's seen.

He talks about his backstory. He talks about his first time being bottomed, his interest in B-play. He then talks about like this Polly girl that he met on Reddit that he had a quote-unquote relationship with. I get into that. And we go very deep. I love conversations like this. I feel like they're really important because like I said, I think a lot of people want

judge cheaters and say, oh, they're all like bad. And I'm not saying that he's not bad. And I'm not saying what he does is right. But I feel like you get a lot of insight into maybe why someone's cheating, why he's creating all of this stuff and doing all of this stuff behind his girls back. I personally think it's a fear of commitment. And we go deep into that. Like I said, I already warned you. I talk a lot. Some people are going to be like, oh, you're not a professional. I give unprofessional, non-professional advice. I loved talking to him and giving my advice to him. So I think that, you know, if you're here because you're also cheating and think maybe you're having addiction or you know someone that cheated on you and maybe you're looking for closure, it's, I think it's interesting to hear

from the cheater themselves. He puts it all out on the table. He's very open and honest about all of his shit. And I, like I said, gave him a lot of advice. And I think it's good advice. I think it's super interesting so I'm going to be right back on with Jaden. Hi Jaden. Welcome to the strictly anonymous podcast. How are you tonight? Doing all right. How are you? I'm good. I couldn't wait to get on the phone with you, Jaden. I don't know because you called into my confessional line and you left a message about all the cheating you were doing on your girl and some of the stuff besides the stuff that you did. There was so much stuff that you said on there that I just wanted to have a conversation with you.

A lot of my Patreon members, because I air the confessions there first, you know, they were like, you have to get this guy on. You're going to have a field day with them. They know I'm going to fucking rip your distress. Or just, I don't know, because you are like what I would probably call, like the worst kind of cheater out there.

I mean, and you are massively cheating. So why don't you just tell your story and I'll just interject where I want to interject. So just to kind of preface this, none of this story is going to make me look like a good person at all. I thought, okay, thank God you went there. I was like, where is he going with? I want to preface this. I thought you were going to be like, I want to preface this with him like a really good guy or some shit like that.

I was like, please. No, I mean, I try my best to be, but I'm not going to sit here and pretend like this is not a, you know, obviously a positive action or anything like that. I'm not going to pretend that because it's not. It's not something that anybody should do. I want to be clear on that. I think people will be clear on that. Don't worry about it. I think it's kind of like a given.

But anyway, so first of all, let me ask you this because you're cheating on your girlfriend. How long have you been with your girlfriend? So we have been together for almost two years. So I think we are three months away from a two-year anniversary, something like that. Okay. How old are you, Jaden? 26. Now, before her, I'm assuming you had other relationships.

Have you always been a cheater? No. Actually, no, I have not. Oh, that's interesting. You just started? Within the last year, yes. Oh, did anyone cheat on you before? Not that I was aware of.

Okay, I wonder why that's such a change and then, like, a massive craziness. Because you cheat with fucking everybody. I mean, it's escorts, trans, escorts, the massage parlors, a girl that you might have a relationship with, like, you just so much stuff. You know, and so you go your whole life being monogamous and then one year into this relationship at 26, you completely flip? Kind of. So it's a complex type of thing. My favorite type of thing. So before I get into this relationship with her, so I'm sorry.

somebody that I have dating before, yes, but I'm not like, you know, like dated a lot, if that makes sense. Yeah. Oh, okay. So maybe this is your first real relationship. I would say to this level of seriousness, yes. Oh, okay. So, yeah.

I've had some longer relationships before, but not to this level of seriousness, where it's like this type of length of relationship. I got it. And things of that matter. So how it kind of starts. is so because I've not been in a lot of relationships, I am still a sexually active person, you know, just like most of the population is. And so, you know, we start dating.

She comes from this world that is very sheltered and closed off. And her upbringing was that of like a very religious type of family. So for her, like, sexuality is not really a thing in her world. for me, by the time that we get together, I've experienced a lot. So, you know, I've done a lot. I've been around a lot. I very much know what I like, what I don't like. She's still really learning that.

And so we have this kind of communication barrier issue where she is very self-conscious and lacking in confidence type of person. I love her personality. I love everything about her, except this one area we really struggle with. And I want to be clear I'm not making this as an excuse to be a shitty person. I'm not there. No, I mean, listen, it's not like the sex is great. The sex is bad and that's why you're getting it someplace else.

Correct. Yeah. So it's one of these things where, like, you know, we've talked about it a lot before in the sense of, you know, this is a part of the relationship that is important to me. I feel like it would be a part of the relationship that's important to you as well, but we have to get you to this point of comfort and stuff, you know, in that type of world, right? And so as we're kind of going through this type of conversation, it's really hard to, like, get this information out of her on what she would like to try,

to explore, to, you know, even be interested in because she's not had that. experience before. Yeah. Even like in looking at porn, for example, she's not done that. And so for me, it's hard to have that conversation because I can't really, or at least I don't feel like I can kind of say like, hey, do you want to try this without with this, out this worry of like scaring her. But you said you have been having conversations with her, correct?

Yes. But like, not to the level of like, hey, do you want to try this type of thing? because my taste is, you know, is very set in stone and advanced and hers is not. So, you know, I don't know what's going to scare her and what's not. So really I need to just be like, hey, do you want to try this and then see what happens? Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. Of course, you know. But I just have not got to that point.

But you've gone to the point where you have put it on the table that you're not happy and that it's very important to you and that she's not. not meeting your needs? Is that right or no? To an extent, yes. I wouldn't say like not meeting needs. I've not said that as much as I've said like, hey, this is an area of the relationship that's important to me.

And this is an area that I feel like we need to explore more moving forward. But I'm not like explicitly said like you're not meeting my needs on this. Right, right. But when you say that, that's just the end of the conversation or does she say like, oh, okay. you know, what do you want me to work on? Or that night, does she, you know, let you fuck her from behind or something interesting? I don't know.

Like, I mean, where did that conversation go to after that? It usually doesn't go very, very much further than that. Okay. For her and I, like, the way that we communicate is we're never, so, like, we're never a couple of fights or anything like that. We are pretty aware of, like, what our emotions are and if something is escalating. and we're very good about stopping it, sitting there, having the conversation, talking it out, and moving it on.

Now, where we're not good at is obviously finishing the conversation. Ironically, yes. I mean, please, any couple that's, like, bragging, I'm sorry, but any couple that's bragging about never fighting is, like, has a fake relationship. What you should brag about is that when we do fight, you know, we fight well together

and we know how to resolve our arguments and stuff, but any relationship that's not fighting is a bullshit relationship. Like there's something that's like everyone's being a phony. And you are being a phony in your relationship. So I already know that that's true. So I mean, you know, that's your, that's red flag number one. You never fight. This is that normal.

It's fair assessment. Yeah, it's not normal. My brother had a marriage that he never fought either. And she was like, the girl was fucking her boss and left him for him. And he used to brag, we never fight. I was like, yeah. that's not normal that's not like

that's not a good relationship you know that's like that's not real life it's not realistic yeah you know I mean I definitely understand Atlanta arguing is a part

of a relationship fighting as a part of relationship because you know love is one of those things that it brings out the best than people but it also brings out the worst of people at the same time and people and it's two people

you're not you're different people you're your own person. Like if people are really being themselves and coming to a relationship to really become one, you're going to have fucking fights because you're different people. That's just, that's why it happens. There's no way that any two people come together and every single thing fucking meshes. That's like la la land fairy tale shit. Sure. Yeah. I mean, that's, you know, what you're reading about in magazines and movies and stuff, of course. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, try fighting a little bit. Maybe you'll have hot makeup sex

I think that's what you guys don't understand After you fight you have the best sex ever Definitely could Potentially head down that Yeah start a fucking fight with her Maybe she'll be the best sex you guys ever had Sure Anyway go on sorry

I know you're fine So kind of how this started is So before we had gotten together I had kind of gotten into this world of like you know, getting escorts and stuff like that in the past. Okay. Something that I had, that I had been familiar with before we had gotten together. Uh-huh.

And, you know, like I'm going to be straight up honest here, like, it is something that can be very addictive. It just can't because, you know, there's no strings attached other than the monetary aspect of it. Yeah. It's, you know, whenever you're, you know, you're getting to experience things the way that you want them. and then once this interaction is done, that's the end. It's done. Yeah, I'm sorry, I'm starting to see a pattern. That exact part of you is the same part of you that thinks it's great that you guys haven't fought.

You know, you have a very unrealistic, like, you know, you want your world to be very not realistic. You know, another non-realistic thing. It's fine because, and that's exactly what, that is and you're very self-aware to know that that's what it is about it, you know, but therein lies a problem that isn't, that it is a, it's like, it's not a problem with the escorts, right? Because it's a completely transactional, you're actually getting what you want. But that same part of you that likes it and is attracted to it for that reason is the same part of you that is having, you know, issues in relationship and isn't really showing up to a relationship

and being fucking real and isn't in a very real relationship. Sure, yeah. And, you know, I think part of the issue for me of why this specific relationship is, I would say that I'm almost scared at the same time in it. Yeah. Because for me, growing up, like, I've never had a sense of what, like, a positive relationship looks like. So, like, my grandparents are married for, like, 50 years. They're both really influential people for me and my life. And then right as my grandfather is about to. past my grandmother just completely abandons him and it's just like kind of like you're a terrible person and then just kind of moved on oh wow and so like all the while like you know I'm growing up with my parents who've been married this entire time and then the entire time that I have been growing up they've basically hated each other but the only reason that they stayed together is because

of us kids yeah I understand uh-huh the positive relationship that I've then had was my brother and sister-in-law and it completely fell in the shambles and they got divorce as well. So there's just no positive relationship. Yeah, you're like, why would we bother? Yeah, so it's

to learn you know, like relationship values and things of that sort, I just don't have that. Yeah, I understand. I've been the same, but I had the same kind of sort of upbringing. So I understand that more than I understand the person that's, you know, been married and

good, stable relationship their whole life, you know? Yeah. So, I mean, for me, it's just been chaos every which way. Yeah. You know, and so one of these things, like, as I've gotten into this relationship world and things have become more serious, you know, with this girlfriend, there's this sense in the back of my head of, like, like you've kind of said, like, this doesn't seem real at all. Yeah.

And it can kind of become terrifying. over time, it just can't. Yeah, and I could see also why you wouldn't want to have a fight or you might think that ruins things because you, because you don't need, like, because you don't know what a real relationship looks like. And because there was so much strife and the ones that you saw and you thought that was bad, you think like a good relationship has none of that. You know, it's like very, it becomes very black and white.

Exactly. But it's not black and white, you know, but I could totally understand why you would get triggered and you would believe that. of what you saw it makes total sense yeah exactly so like you know for me as i'm watching these things unfold like i'm very much trying to you know care about the type of person that i am and i do feel really guilty about all the things that i've done on this like like yeah i got it i know i know that that doesn't make any sense especially because of the of the actions that are occurring. Like I realize it doesn't make sense.

No, I think it does make sense. I think it makes sense. I think both things can exist. I think people don't want it to make sense. Like just as much as I say, you're thinking and you're doing black and white thinking, most people want things to be black and white. Most people want things to be easy and, you know, easy to understand. Oh, yeah, he does it. So he obviously doesn't feel guilty. No, what if he does it and he keeps doing it, but he feels guilty and he does both at the same time, you know, wrap your head around that because that's the fucking truth.

Yeah, and that's like one of the reasons that I've, that I wanted to do this podcast specifically is because this is not something that like I can just tell somebody in normal life, right? Because a lot of people have this stance of especially right now that two things cannot be true at the same time. Right, that right. I think that a lot of people have this belief now. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Especially now. You see it all the time.

Cancel culture is what it's all about. For that. Yeah. No, and a lot of it is what's going on in society. stuff. A lot of it is just like, you know, they're just trying to define people as one thing, you know, and I just think there's just so much more like when you said, oh, this is just very complex. Of course it is.

Like, I see things like that. I see all these things that you're bringing up and all these layers that exist. And, you know, I totally believe that that stuff is always there, you know, but nobody ever wants to fucking talk about it. They just want to, you know, something good or bad, black or white. It's such bullshit. And move on. Yeah. And it's bullshit. But it doesn't, doesn't tell the real story and people things are complex and maybe somebody that's doing what you're doing isn't a terrible person they're fucking damaged you know and you have to get the whole story to understand it it doesn't mean what you're doing is right it's not saying oh he gets a fucking pass but it's like you could you need to know that these things aren't maybe sometimes coming from somewhere yeah and i mean you know like if if i were to look at myself in the mirror in this situation and talk to myself and be like or look back on my life and be like, are you proud of your actions? The answer is absolutely no. Yeah. Like without, without question, I'm not proud of them at all. I think that they're really

terrible. They're irreprehensible. I think that these are, you know, if I were to tell somebody, like, should you do this or not, the answer is absolutely no. Do not do this. Right, but you can't stop. Yeah. Right. Right. Right. Unfortunately. Right. Yeah, there lies the problem. You know, listen, I will say something. to you because I know guys like you. People listening are either a guy like you or they know guys like you or they're friends with guys like you or they're dating a guy like you or it's a girl like you. You know, one thing I will say for you that you have going for you that a lot of other

guys that I know don't have is that you are, you do, the part of you that feels bad about it is going to be your, that's the part of you that's going to save you from this. A lot of guys that I know don't even have that. Do you know what I mean? They're just so, even that is unplugged in them. So that one day will not only wind up getting you busted, sorry to say, that most likely you will wind up getting busted. That's the kind of guy that does get busted, the one that kind of does feel bad.

But that will also be, like I said, the part of you that saves you. You do have a part of you that is seeing the truth. it's not most of you right now it's a little tiny part of you the part of you that's ruling you right now is the rest of this nonsense you know and you can stop and I understand that but that little

part of you that feels guilty is great that you have that because eventually that will save you but it will also probably get you busted sorry to say yeah I mean and I understand that it likely will and you know if I may

say this like one thing that I would recommend to people as well that are kind of experiencing the same type of thing. And this is something that I personally am doing. Go see a therapist about it too. Yeah, that is not something that is, that's not something that is you admitting defeat at all or that you're weak or anything like that. I mean, I'm someone that's a super advocate for mental health. That's just something that I think that, you know, that while I think society has changed in an interesting. way that I've also been very proud to see at the same time is that this emphasis on mental health

is coming up because like in that situation like I have an addiction that is a problem that is a real mental health thing addiction is not just drugs it's not just alcohol like porn can be addicting sex can be addicting you think that the person that fucking praise to jesus every time they have a problem they're no different than the person going to the fucking bar okay please It's anything, you could use anything as an addiction. Well, people don't understand when you're a fucking addict because I am and I'm clean for a very long time and I totally fucking get it.

Is that addiction is not, yeah, but addiction is not like, oh, you have a problem with alcohol. Like, you're just using alcohol because you have a fucking problem with dealing with feelings. Okay, so you take away whatever that is and you have the same person left there, just a damaged person that needs fucking to, work on themselves and figure out how to deal with their feelings and deal with stuff instead of

run for it. And everyone uses different things, but that thing is not the problem. And I sometimes think people think when they're dealing with addicts that, oh, I'm going to take away the thing from them. And then they expect the person to be perfect because they thought the alcohol was the problem or they were doing meth. Like take away the meth. Now I should have a perfect person.

And now that they're acting like fucking crazy people, they think something. thing went wrong. It's like, no. I mean, that's the easy part is taking away the drug, the alcohol, the sex, Jesus. The real work starts then, and then it takes years. And that's what people don't fucking get. They don't understand it. Yeah, wait, this is, I love fucking episodes like this. We're just going to get, I want to get into some of your, like, crazy stories first, and then we're going to get back to this deep shit because I love it. But I want to just like, I want, like, you're in therapy, but like, let's just talk about your fucking cheating, okay? And now, first of all, let me just ask you a quick question.

Has she caught you yet at all? No. Okay, is she, like, very distrustful, like she thinks maybe you're cheating in her, or is she completely oblivious? It seems that she's completely oblivious. If she has any in clean hall, she's at least not shown her or brought it up to me. Okay, interesting. Okay.

So now, so you were seeing escorts before. for her. That was always a thing for you. Now, were you seeing the trans escorts too? Or is that something that you rammed up recently? So as far as actual escorts that are trans, no. I had been with trans women before. Okay.

But not as an escort. Oh, okay. Sorry, I thought that was right. So after we got together, that had the escort portion of that had become a thing. Yes. Oh, okay. Mm-hmm. So that is an interesting world, too, just because, so for me, like, I would consider myself to be, to be straight.

Like, I would not date a male. I'm not interested in males. but there is something that's interesting about this person that looks feminine, acts feminine, sounds feminine, identifies as feminine, who also has the same parts than I do as well. Yeah. So it's, it is an interesting world and it has been a fun world at the same time. So like, you know, like I had mentioned earlier, one thing about meeting with escorts that's interesting is that you get to try a lot of things, right?

because you're paying for time and then whatever, you know, occurs in this in this world, right, is what you paid for. So, like, there was one trans escort that I had met one time. So we had gotten together and a couple of things that I had told her is I was like, I would like to try to bottom one time. And then I had also taken this interest in, in this play as well. I've never done it before. I am in this camp

Like, you should at least be open To trying anything sexually at least once You don't necessarily have to do everything once But I feel like you should at least be semi Open so that way You can allow yourself to explore Because you don't know what you like until you try At least that's my opinion

So this was one of those things of where it's like I never bottomed before I've never done piss play before that's not something I'd ever really even been interested in so I meet with her I get to this hotel and you know we talk a little bit um she allows me to kind of to kind of stroke her off we go into the shower we do we do the piss play portion of it shower off we come back and then I bottom to her which I personally am not really interested in doing again because speaking from an male perspective here, I don't know how youth females deal with this at all

because it's uncomfortable. I got to say. So more power to all of you. All of you, this is why you all are queens here. Oh my God, that's hilarious. But let me ask you this, were you turned on by, like, were you nervous? Were you really in your head about it? Because I was always a three-in-put girl and I love anal. And I've always used to give advice to people about, you know, like you have to be very turned on.

The more turned on you are, the more you relax and open up. And it doesn't hurt at all. So maybe that time that you did it, like I said, were you very in your head or nervous? Or were you very horny and turned on? Because I would assume if you were very horny and turned on that, like it wouldn't hurt. So I have liked anal play in the past. I never, you know, tried anything like this. Of course, you know, like going through puberty and like discovering yourself, right?

Like you shoved some things inside, you yourself and your room by yourself. I've heard it all. You know, you try different things, you know, that type of stuff. And so, you know, but I'd never taken like an actual physical dick before. That's just nothing that I'd ever done. So, you know, a lot of it was this feeling of like telling myself, I can do this, I can do this, I can do this. But at the same time, it was very nerve-wracking because, you know, this is a step that I've never gone to before. Yeah.

I had. It's like crossing a line. But you're right. Yes, it is like crossing a line. So, you know, I mean, I would say. say that now that I know what I'm getting into if I were ever to do it again, I would

be much more comfortable with it this time because, you know, I know how to prepare now. I know how to you know, kind of get myself to relax those types of things. And in the moment, no, I was not relaxed at all. That's what I mean. Like, you know,

when you were playing with yourself and experimenting with anal play when you were younger, you enjoyed it? Correct, yeah. That's what I mean. So you're just knocking it and saying, oh, girls are so great, like, because I can't believe it was, like, terrible. But it was only because you weren't, like, in the right headspace or whatever, because if done right or at the right time. And I think a lot of people, you know, don't give it a try because of that because of this experience like that. But I just think it was that actual experience because, look, you liked it before when you were home alone.

Just at that time, you probably were too shy. It was like a weird vibe to really. control the situation and let yourself ease into it properly. But given all of that, those circumstances, you probably would enjoy it. I think a lot of it had to do with that, too, where it was, you know, whenever I'm doing this type of play by myself, it's just me. There's no one that's, you know, here I'm not feeling like I'm going to be judged at all. I'm not feeling like there's anything that, you know, is going to, could be said negatively.

there's this feeling of just safeness, comfort. Yeah. I can go at my own pace type of thing. And not that I can't in this realm too, but there is this other person that I'm also trying to pleasure at the same time. Yeah, and when you're with that guy,

when you're with the trans woman, maybe, you know, they just, first of all, they can't. I just had a whole conversation about, you know, with somebody. And we were talking about how, like, you know, a partner doesn't understand how it feels for you.

So they just might just put it in and just start fucking you really hard. And if you're not at that place yet, if you don't speak up for yourself and you're not communicating, then it might be very uncomfortable because you're not ready for that. You have to take control of the situation.

So maybe, you know, this is the first time you're with someone, you're not comfortable enough to take control of that. You don't have communication. This is like a one-off transactional thing. So that could come into play too. You know, you might have been like, wait, go a little slower, don't put it in yet. But maybe you wouldn't feel comfortable doing that because it's just, you know, time's ticking. You know, you're on the clock.

Yeah, I mean, that's definitely something that if I were to go back, I would definitely change a little bit. I mean, I will say like, like, the longer it went on, the calmer I did get and the more, you know, relaxed I was able to be because at that point it was like, being. initial shock of it happened and then it was like okay this is a lot and then it was after a little bit it was this just feeling and kind of like okay this is not as bad as I thought it was going to be right okay kind of a thing right but you yeah let's get back to your cheating there's so many things here I just feel like we have to like cover I want to get the whole full picture you cheat with escorts you also cheat with regular girls correct like

not cis girls because I mean the trans you don't cheat with trans women you cheat with escorts you see escorts you've seen some trans escorts you also because I know that you did say

you had one girl you were thinking of having like a full-fledged relationship with on the side while you're in this relationship with this girl yeah so so let's kind of talk about her yeah so

for those of you that are not familiar there is this whole world of red that is out there. So previously, Tumblr was kind of this world for like, you know, you'd have like Craigslist, but you would also have Tumblr for more of the kind of younger generation as far as like being able to reach out and, you know, meet someone that will have similar interests as you. Uh-huh. As far as like sexually concerned.

Yeah. Well, Tumblr randomly decided like, I think it was maybe five or six years ago, that could be longer than that. now, but that they were no longer going to add any adult content at all on their website. Yeah, I remember when that happened. And as a result, your website has now tanked. Yeah, of course. That's because they, yeah.

So kind of all of that had moved sort of to Reddit after this. And so Reddit allows you to create different subreddits, right? And there's a gazillion of them out there that are under a gazillion different types of topics. But some of them are kind of like that Craigslist personal type of thing. Right. So there's this girl that I met. We'll call her Lucy. That's not a real name, but we'll just call her that as to kind of build the character here.

Yeah. So she happened to actually be in the same state as me. And so we get to talk in a little bit. She is, I believe the subreddit that she had posted, and I think was like a phone sex one, if I remember correctly. I can't remember if it was that or if it was a like, like looking for a hookup thing. I can't remember exactly.

But anyway, so we talk a little bit. We hit it off. We exchange numbers. And we exchange Snapchats as well. So we're talking back and forth and she is married and is in a polyamorous relationship. Oh, interesting. Uh-huh. That is something that I had never really experienced before, you know,

is talking to someone that's in a polyamorous relationship. I come from a very small, you know, white bread Christian town, true values kind of thing, right? And so I'd never talk to someone like this before. So I'm talking to her. And, of course, you know, when you find something interesting, you're going to ask what if this is a little questions about it and try to learn as much as you can about it. because it's interesting.

Yeah. And so, so, you know, her and I are talking about this all the while, you know, we're also entering this path where she's very interested in, like,

a sexual relationship. I'm interested in this actual relationship. Mm-hmm. And, you know, we just kind of hit it off. So, like, this world kind of kind of interested me, the more I was talking to her about it.

And so she had kind of expressed some interest in this potentially turning into a kind of relationship. So she had come over to my apartment one time and her and I are kind of talking. And what this was supposed to end up being was she was coming over. We were going to have sex. She was going to stay the night and then go home the next day. She was like an hour away.

None of that ended up happened. So she comes over. she ends up like being like way more nervous than she had let on. Uh-huh. And so, you know, we're just kind of like sitting here kind of watching TV or whatever. Like we kind of talk about it a little bit. And this is after we had talked like a good amount about a relationship potentially happening. Did she know you were in a relationship?

She does, yes. Okay. And so, you know, she gives me this, this like, clear. not real story about how she's you know got to run home or whatever i can tell that she just wasn't like like this just wasn't i guess what she thought it was or she just wasn't comfortable she just wasn't comfortable yeah i mean we didn't really do anything at all but just sit and watch tv but you know i mean i understand like if you're not if you're not comfortable and not can make you do anything fine carry on so i noticed that the conversations with her like drastically

change and so she's kind of not really showing interest anymore in addition to her marriage she also has this this girlfriend that she has on the side too and you know we had planned to hang out a couple times she decides that she's going to hang out with the girlfriend instead i'm like okay fine you know you're actually dating this person. Cool. So how this kind of ends is she allows her husband and her best friend to sleep together. Over time, this turns into a relationship between the two and the husband just straight up leaves her.

Oh, but weren't they allowed to have relationships with other people? Yeah, but it was always that sense of like you can go have relationships with other people, but this is home. Right, I'm your primary. Okay. Correct. Yeah, that's hard. Yeah. Okay. That became very clear that that was not the case anymore. So he leaves and he goes to be with her friend and now she's solo. Correct. Okay.

She's totally by herself. She doesn't have this friend anymore. She doesn't have this husband anymore. She's also, she's now a single mom. Oh, God. Too. And so like, she starts dating this other guy and we're still kind of talking back and forth, things have slowed down at this point. But, you know, like, it's still kind of there. So she's dating this other person who just makes it clear. He's just like, look, I am a total monogamous person. I'm not interested at all in this polyamorous thing.

And she's just like, okay. And then that was it. You know, that was totally the end of it. But what about with you? Who cares about what happened with them? What's going on with you? her nothing? So we actually do not talk anymore.

So, I mean, it's kind of odd because for me... No, what's odd, this is what I'm going to tell you is odd, because I'm going to move on for Lucy. She's boring. It was a nothing. It was a big nothing burger. This is what I'm going to tell you is interesting, though. It's interesting that when you tell the actual details of the story,

it really wasn't what you're labeling it. Like, you were like, oh, and there was this girl I was going to have a relationship with. I mean, You didn't even get to first base. So you were never even close to having a relationship with her. It's another kind of like fake thing. You know, it was like, nothing happened.

You were like friends and you met and it didn't really work out. And so then you stayed friends, but she had all these other relationships with all these people. But like it wasn't really that you were having an affair and having feelings. You might have been having feelings for her, but it was only because she wasn't available. But nothing really happened between you two. Correct? I mean, am I missing something? I mean, we have things like phone sex and exchanging of photos and things like that, yeah.

Before you met, but then you meet in person. She's uncomfortable. She splits. Yeah. Yeah. So that's like you get to the, like, you know, that's like happens a lot. But nobody, what I'm saying is that it's interesting. It's another one of these things that I think makes sense with you.

and it's like a it's unrealistic it doesn't it's not even it wasn't even it wasn't really real nothing was there it wasn't a girl that you were about you were having to have a relationship with you never even met her once what the first time you met her it didn't work out so to me that's like nothing but it's interesting that it is a something to you it is interesting that you do file it and label it and have it as a story that seems very different. And I understand with your issues why you would do that. So, yeah. So, like, to me, it just kind of factors back to this guilt thing, right?

Where it's like, you know, to me, the way that the relationship works, right, is you have these set of boundaries between each other. And once you step over that boundary, then to me it is cheating at that point. So like for me to have phone sex with this girl to exchange photos, to have these types of conversations with her. And we're talking like hours upon hours a day, like hundreds of messages that are exchanged between each other. to me it felt very real because it felt like it was going that direction and then it yeah i got it

no i get it but listen i've had a lot of fake relationships like that too that's just like all fake nonsense that people are like that are unavailable or doing with each other i've done it before trust me i understand the but it's it's it was nothing you didn't even met each other in real life How long did the emailing and the stuff go on for? Like six, seven months. Right. But, you know, to put in all that effort and work with never, ever meeting somebody, and then the minute you meet, neither one of you even could make it past the first date, the first hour.

Neither one of you was able to make it laugh. It just shows that something. There was nothing. There was, it was two people that maybe were, you were. using each other as like a distraction. You know, she's a distraction. She was unavailable. You were unavailable.

She was unavailable. It was a lot of smoke and mirrors. But I understand that. That's common. And it's interesting that you were doing all of that while you're in this relationship with this girl. All that was doing was making you not really available for your real relationship. It was just another distraction to get you out of that

because maybe your biggest fear is to actually get close to that girlfriend. and so this was just something to help you not do what is your biggest fear. Do you understand? Like that other relationship wasn't really. You had no relationship with her. The minute, like I said, you guys saw each other. She couldn't deal and she ran. It was the end.

Obviously, she wasn't capable of having a relationship. Relationship is not text messages. It's real life shit. Show up. Your relationship is what you have with your girlfriend, who you see in real life. Yeah, certainly. I mean, you know, one thing that I was going to say was interesting was like, for me, as soon as she said that she was in a monogamous relationship, that was the end. So for me, it's like, I cared about this other person's relationship, but mine is clearly fractured to the point where I'm willing to put this at risk or put hurting another person a risk for self-gain.

At the same time. I wouldn't say you cared about that relationship. Not that relationship. I know that you see it as you caring, but it was just a way. way for you to be not getting close and keeping a distance because you probably have a really deep-seated fear, which I understand, of getting really close and being really truly intimate with somebody. So, you know, anything that could take you out of that is great. I don't see any difference between your escort transactional relationships and that girl that you had seven months of texting.

It says nothing as the escort. It says that's all it is. You know, just sex or whatever. You know, it's a distraction. Why, the girl that you're with now, you're dating about two years. Does she ever bring up marriage? Does she ever bring up anything like that with you?

Are you guys, like, close to that kind of stuff? I wouldn't say that we are. I mean, it's been, like, you know, floated out, couple of times as far as like what the long term kind of looks like but never like it's like a serious conversation about it. Can I ask you this? How many times a week do you and your girlfriend see each other? Usually it's three or four times a week. Okay. So we don't live together currently. Yeah, that's okay. But you are really in it. I mean, this is the first person that you're really in it. You're having a real relationship. Probably first time in your life, four times a week you're seeing.

her and I think that all this other nonsense is just a way it's just keeping you from like I said your your biggest fear which is to just be who you really are with her and maybe we get really real in a real relationship and that's probably like scares the shit out of you like you said for all the reasons that you have before so it's all serving a purpose but what's the the most real thing you have in your life right now, I would say is this girlfriend. Yeah, I would say that's right. You know, so you might want to try to kick your addiction, like try to stop doing all that other stuff and creating all this other distraction and keep turning towards your partner and your

relationship and see if you can make that work. One thing that stood out to me in your confession when you called is you said, you know, sex is very important to me. It is a very important thing. But yet you wound up picking a partner that is so unsexual that I'm like, that doesn't make sense. You know, why then maybe she's not the right partner for you. I don't know. Or do you pick somebody that maybe is an ideal so that you could always use that as a reason to not get close? Because it doesn't make sense to the guy that is very interested in sex. You sound very curious.

You're open-minded. You want to try it all. Yet you wind up with a girl who's on the opposite end of the spectrum. Yeah. So, I mean, what attracts me to her as her personality is just, there's just no one

that's like her in my opinion. She's somebody that's unbelievably caring and giving and just gives every balance of herself to you. So I mean, you know, earlier this year, my father had passed. And so one thing that that she had done is just, was just so selfless about it. I mean, she drove like an hour and a half every single day just to come be with myself and my family and didn't ask any questions about it, didn't, you know, just was there. Right. She's really, she really

cares about you and she gives, she really loves you. You're, you have a real relationship. with her. So listen, you haven't given her any kind of time yet to see really where she is on that spectrum. Like right now, yeah, she's on the other end of the spectrum because you have never really gone there and pushed her to say like, hey, can we maybe try this or can we maybe do that? You don't do that you haven't done that so you're not at the place where I would be like oh you should leave her she's not right you don't even know because you've never gone there a lot of times women are very you know if a woman finds a guy that she really likes it's very hard for all the stars to align and find that like when a girl finds a guy and she hangs her hat there she's willing to do a lot to make that fucking

guy happy I mean that's just women we have hope we want to make things work and we'll do a lot for our guys so I would say chances are if you had some real conversations, open conversations with her just to try different things for fun sexually. And if you said it the right way, she'd probably try things for you if she knew that it was very important to you, but you have to give her that chance. You have never given her that chance. That's the one thing you're holding out on. And it might be because you're so afraid that if you got everything from this person and she became like a fucking sexual dynamo, then what happens? Then you're really fucking in love. and that, I think, is what scares you.

It is completely terrifying, yeah. Of course. I mean, you know, like I said earlier, like love is one of these things that it brings out the best than people or brings out the worst than people, but also it's the, you know, most joyous thing on the planet. Well, also is the most absolutely terrifying thing. Right, but there's the black and white thinking, but what's, that's the black and white thinking, but what are people that have real relationships have?

They have both of that on different days. you know, that's what anybody in a long-term relationship is going to say to you. Like, yeah, it's the best thing and the worst thing. Some days, five days best thing. One day worst thing. A little bit bad. Sometimes good. Sometimes you go through a year that's really fucking hard.

But then, you know, it's smooth sailing other times. I mean, that's, you know, in between those two things is what a real relationship is. It's, it's, it abs and flows and it changes. But it's both things. It's not just one or the other. just like what we were talking about in the beginning. It's not the black and white. Everything is in between.

Most things are gray. And I do think that it is really amazing that you have met a girl that gives you all that stuff. Like I said, I believe you. You have no idea what's in her little head of hers and what she has fantasized about. I think everybody has these kinds of secrets. Or you don't know that what you could turn her onto or what. what she could wind up liking or realize would float her boat because she doesn't have a lot of experience. But you, the person that's super experienced, if you stopped, you know, paying attention

to all this other stuff and took all that sexual energy and focused it back with your girl and started to have real, like give her a chance to grow into being more of a sexual person and help her along that journey. Like you could really change your sex life. You don't know. You haven't given her that chance because you don't communicate with her. You're, communicating really well with me. You're a fucking communicator, okay? You're just not doing it there because it's, you know, because of your issues. But it's not that you have a problem of fucking communicating. You're very self-aware. You're really fucking smart. You're super curious. I think you just don't bring that voice over there in that part of your relationship because I believe

you're afraid for her to be your end-all be-all. Because then what happens to all this other stuff? what happens to the escorts and all that other stuff if you could, you know, it's like it's a fear. Yeah. You know, one thing I have thought about a lot and this is, you know, not to bring it back necessarily to the therapy thing here, but. I love therapy and believe in it. I love you should bring it back to therapy because we're going to be wrapping up in like 15 minutes. But I do want to go in there. Yeah, absolutely.

Bring it back to your fucking therapist. So, you know, one thing that, you know, you know, one thing that, you know, you know, You know, you can probably relate to this as well. That is really hard when you're talking to therapist is being honest with yourself. Yeah. That's the thing that everybody most struggles with when they first start talking to them. Yes. Because they're talking to this person that is not going to judge you, right?

They're there to help you. There's still this thought in the back of your mind that, well, you know, this person's some random person. Like, you know, they're going to judge me. They're going to see whatever. and, you know, there's still that thought in the back of your head. So, like, you know, one thing that has been a difficulty for it is, is telling the story to the therapist that I have because there's this feeling of judgment for it. But at the same time, you know, it's become easier over time to do that.

And it's just one of these things of just the more that I've talked to her about it is the more of this notion of, I don't really need these us. sports at all. Yeah. You know, I just don't like I don't need these external things. I really don't. And so it's just, you know, the thing that we're currently working on is just trying to figure out, you know, what this stem is back to. And it might very well be like you had mentioned this notion of fear. And, you know, this fear of commitment, this fear of longevity, this fear of taking its next step. this fear of like there's no way this is going to work out because all I've seen is horrible relationships it's a fear of failure too because you're like you don't believe that relationships could be good and you think it'll end and then you're not you don't want that to happen so then you just avoid the whole thing like I understand it more than you can ever fucking imagine it's also a self-reflection thing too right like like before I had gotten into this relationship too. Like, you know, I'm meeting with these escorts.

I'm meeting with these people. And I don't necessarily know why I felt like bad about it, I would say. But there's still this feeling of like guilt that comes with it. Even though you're not cheating on somebody or you're not really hurting anybody, it's just this feeling of guilt comes out of it. So because there's this feeling of guilt, you know, once I get into this relationship, this person who, like, really, truly genuinely cares, there's also this feeling of, well, how can they care about me?

Yeah. And I started out talking about this in the beginning. Like, it's great that you're self-aware. It's great that you're in therapy. And it's great that you feel bad. That's what's going to make you have that moment in your life where you really change. You're not going to be this person 20 years from now. I, I, I'm going to tell you this, though, the change might come about in a harsh way. I, you know, I don't know that two years from now your girlfriend catches you and that, being faced with that and losing her is the thing that changes. Like sometimes, and someone like in your position winds up hitting what people would call a bottom, you know, and that's what ultimately helps. them change and it's a harsh time and it's a real fucking fall and it hurts but it's you look back as a

sober person or a person completely changed you realize that those are the kinds of moments that really changed your life and that it was like the best thing that ever happened to you now i personally think that sometimes there's a choice to walk away from all your problems with your head up high but a lot of times that's not how it happens so you know you might this this little part of you like i said that's going to help you. It might get you busted. You might have some harsh stuff coming your way. So be careful. Because when you were doing something that you know isn't right, a lot of times you wind up sabotaging by getting caught. That part of you will get you caught. So I always worry for the cheater that feels very bad. I always warn them like you're

probably going to get fucking busted. The cheater that could care fucking less and thinks what he's doing is fucking fine doesn't get caught. The cheater that feels bad is the one who's sloppy and gets fucking busted because some part of him wants it to be over. The part of you that is on a quest

to make yourself a better person, which is fucking great, is the part of you that will make you get busted. So in a weird way, it'll be, if you were my best friend and you were living this life and one day, six months from now, you came to me and said, oh, my God, my girl found out everything and she threw me. I'd be like, finally, I'm so happy for you. Like, welcome to the beginning of your good life and now your fucking bad life is over. Like that moment would be a very life-changing moment for you.

And in a weird way, it will be a good time for you because something needs to change for you to get out of this. this cycle that you're in, this cheating, this double life, all this sex, all this chasing the fucking dragon and never getting what you really want and avoiding a real relationship in your life that's right in front of you. And, you know, so I do think that you have to be very careful. Go to fucking therapy. Work as hard as you can to fix yourself and fix this issue and stop seeing all this stuff before you lose this girl because you do really care. care about her and it seems like she really cares about you. What I would say to you is start trying to have more open conversations with her about SCX, try to get her to do some fun stuff. It's pretty

easy to ask. Don't ask her about peeing on you. Okay, don't ask her to fuck you in the ass with a dildo. Okay, don't go there yet. Down the line. Yeah, but try some just regular stuff because it sounds like she, you know, you don't even go there with her. Have those kinds of conversations. Listen, I love conversations like this. I love this episode. I thought it was going to go a little bit different because of all your cheating stuff. But you're so much more interesting than I would have thought than that confession.

I'm going to play your confession in the beginning of this episode so people could listen to it. But I love that you are self-aware. I love that as curious as you are about piss play and anal play, you are about working on yourself and figuring out who you are and fixing your problems and going to therapy. And I've said it a million times in this episode, that is a great part of you. And you're lucky because I know people like you that don't have that part of you. So you're going to be okay and you're eventually going to fix all those things that were put on you and stuff. And it's going to be hard work.

But the fact that you're doing it is amazing. and give yourself credit for that, but keep fucking working on it. Quitting all that fucking sex and quitting cheating is the first thing you need to do. Just stop it all and then see what comes up. Therein lies the problem. That's where you need to get to so that you could start fixing it.

All this stuff is just prolonging that. I got sober by quitting drinking because I thought drinking was my problem. and then I remember exactly where I was when I realized like drinking's not my problem I can't handle anything and now that I don't drink what do I fucking do with this feeling of jealousy this feeling of this is you know I can't run away from it

and I didn't know how to fucking feel a thing and that's when I realized like and if I didn't have alcohol to drink to go fuck somebody then how am I going to get away from this because I got away from things through sex no drinking was just a means to an end. I had a pain in my knee, which was like jealousy. I felt jealous about a situation. And then I'd go bang my arm by fucking a guy I didn't like. And that took me away from like the real thing, you know,

and without alcohol, I couldn't. I remember exactly where it was. What happened was I was like in love with like one of my best friends. And I quit drinking. And it's like one month into my sobriety. And I get a call and someone says, oh, did you hear that like your friend like met a girl? And she's like really hot and he's dating or and he really likes her and I just like immediately felt jealous and all the stuff that you would feel if you know somebody that you really like just met the girl of his dreams you know and I started to without even thinking I'm looking through my phone for a guy to like have sex with and then I'm like looking at all these people and I'm realizing like I can't fuck this guy if I'm straight like none of these people could I fuck them straight you know what I mean I didn't like any of

them like none of them were appealing and that's when I realized like I can't go fuck someone because I can't get your. What am I going to do? I just have to sit here and be fucking jealous and feel terrible and feel abandonment and feel devastated and all that stuff. And how do I get away from that if I can't fuck somebody? And that's when I realize it doesn't matter that I was, alcohol wasn't my problem. This is my fucking problem. And alcohol was making me avoided at all times. I was never dealing with my feelings. So to me, what happens with addicts is the minute you take away that stuff, you revert back to whatever age you were when you fucking checked out. So I was like a 15 year old, but yet I was 34, you know, and that's why I'm still immature.

I'm 53, but I'm like 30 something because I'm just been, I've been evolving from 15 since I'm 34. So do the math. How old am I really emotionally? Not that old, you know. 53 going on 20. Yeah, yeah, like 15. How many years would that be if it's like 15 and 34, you know, 15.

I don't know, but whatever. It's like, that's what happens. So quit having sex with anybody else. Quit doing all of that stuff. Just sit there standing on your hand, like sitting on your hands. Don't do anything. Just have your relationship. And then whatever comes up is like that, then you'll see what you're running from.

You'll probably the feelings of insecurity, the feelings of vulnerability, the feelings of fear, the feelings of petra being petrified to fall for this person. Maybe they'll leave you. all the stuff, it's all going to come up, and that's what you can't deal with. But the more you just stay sober and clean and just focus on that and you work on it, like, I could handle anything, okay? If I told you the shit I've been through in my being sober and I don't check out or do anything, I could, I am like so fucking solid with my feet on the ground and so strong.

Like that's real strength, and that's where you will get to once you put all that shit down. It takes time, but it's totally doable. totally doable and you are the type of person that could do it certainly do appreciate the kind words I mean I don't you know necessarily feel like I deserve it no I believe it no I know I know I know you are I know I know I could tell by things that you say and the fact that you're already doing the work and that you're curious open-minded you're gonna you're gonna get there too

it's just a long winding road and I'd love to talk to you six months from now when you get busted or whatever happens next let me know I got you But good luck Jane and I love this You didn't sniff once I don't know why you think you have a fucking sniffing problem You didn't sniff once on this whole fucking conversation

I did a few times It blended a little bit I don't hear it anyway Thank you so much I love these kinds of conversations Especially because I'm an addict Especially because I'm like you're I'm like have these issues myself

And have had them And I could totally relate You know this is the kind of stuff That's like my fave so thank you so much for calling in and being, you know, giving me your complex story and being smart enough to be able to lay it all out there. I certainly appreciate you having me on and giving me the platform to be able to do so. Yeah.

I hope that this, you know, inspires someone else to not make the same mistakes that I have made here. Yes, totally. I can't wait for it to inspire the comments you're going to get on YouTube. Probably. Go there. I don't think so bad because we focused more on like, deep stuff that all your shenanigans, but I'm going to play your confessions in the beginning so they hear all that too.

But anyway, I love this conversation. I really wish you the best of luck and keep me posted on your journey. Certainly appreciate your time. Thank you. Thanks, Jaden. Bye. Hey, everyone. Thanks so much for tuning in to this week's episode.

If you want to follow the show, follow me at Strict Anonymous on Instagram or Twitter. That's at Strict Anonymous. If you are on YouTube, make sure to subscribe. I love YouTube as a platform for my show because people comment there. And I try to reply back to every single person who post a comment. So even if you're not listening on YouTube and you want to talk about the show, go to my YouTube channel, subscribe, like, and share my videos. It's strictly anonymous podcast. If you want to sign up for my Patreon on my Patreon, you are not only supporting my show, but you will get these episodes early, ad free.

And you get to see anonymous picks. of my guests. Most of the girls send in anonymous picks and some of the guys send an anonymous picks. So if you want to see anonymous picks of my guests, as well as support my show and get these episodes early and ad free, sign up for my Patreon. Patreon.com slash strictly anonymous podcast. That's patreon.com slash strictly anonymous podcast. The link is also in the description below. Thanks so much for listening. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, It's called Strictly Anonymous Confession. Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers is now available not only in paperback and e-book,

but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang being girl story.

Like I said, 17 stories, and they're all told in the third person, and they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person, and I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like Penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories, 17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read.

You could read, you know, one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format. And finally, the audio book is available coming out August 25th. But you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint, okay?

There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me. Okay, I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other, and that's what you get to do there. You could post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be.

It's a total strictly anonymous community, and you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord. It's private, like I said. All you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook, or the paperback. Send it to me at Strictly Anonymous Podcasts at gmail.com. That's Strictly Anonymous Podcasts at gmail.com. And I will send you the link to Discord.

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