Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 587 - Fettish Fridays: "Bethany" aka Jim is a Crossdresser who Hooks Up with Men & Women While Fully Dressed

Episode Date: January 27, 2023

“Bethany” aka Jim is a crossdresser who hooks up with men and women while fully dressed and he called in to talk all about it. When did he start crossdressing? What does he like to wear? And, does anyone know he crossdresses? Tune in for all the details including how his intense interest and attraction to women and what they were wearing early on shaped his interests, how his snooping led to finding and wearing his moms clothing, how and why dressing up helped him be closer to women, how he got caught with his stash and how his parents reacted, the purging he did afterwards and why, how he loved legs and how that was tied to the types of clothing he was attracted to, why he considers himself a sissy, his first hook up with a female while dressed that took place at an S&M bar, his first hook up with a guy fully dressed and exactly what went down, how he would find the guys he hooked up with, how and why he was able to be open about his crossdressing to all the women he has been with, how he met his current very open minded female partner, the domintrix he hired and what exactly what went down between them, guy he found on Grindr that he bottomed for, the night he hooked up with two guys in one night, why he only can be with a guy when he is dressed, how he labels himself, how his crossdressing fantasies have changed over time and what he’s currently fantasizing about, how he has been able to eroticize his fears and how it ties into his childhood and a whole lot more. FREE 7 day trial **For extra exclusive crossdresser episodes/content plus all pantyhose exclusive content + see anonymous pics of my guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. The Craigslist is definitely like the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Singapore or Thailand. You can't not do it.

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This is the first. Patreon never allowed this before. Patreon is allowing me to do like a free trial period for any of my tears on Patreon. and I picked my cross-dressing tier to give that free trial period out for. So if you are tuning into this episode because you're a cross-dresser and you love this kind of content and you want to hear other like-minded people's stories, then you need to join my cross-dressing tier over on Patreon because there is so much extra content over there already.

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Just go to patreon.com slash strictly anonymous podcast. That's patreon.com. strictly anonymous podcast. Now today, I'm doing a quick intro here because I wanted to really just talk about the Patreon thing. But today I have on Bethany, aka Jim or Jim, aka Bethany. But really we're talking about Bethany. Jim is Bethany. He's a cross-dresser who started cross-dressing when he was young.

Like most cross-dressers, we go all the way back to when he was younger and talk. about when he realized he was into dressing up and why I mean it was interesting the his story because he really talks about how his fascination with females and his attraction to them led into and played into his desire to cross-dress he had some you know he was into legs he was into clogs it was a weird thing he was into you know and then like a lot of other cross-dressers he was looking through his mom's stuff, started trying things on. We talk about all that history when he was younger,

and then we get into when he got older, and he started to hook up, not only with men while he was dressed up, but also women. He has a first experience dressed up as a woman, and he hooked up with a woman in an Asadam bar. He talks about that and exactly what went down, and then he talks about the first time he was with a guy fully dressed up and exactly what went down there.

He's definitely into being with. guys, but only when he's dressed up and he explains that. He's very into being a sissy. He talks about that transformation. He talks about how the types of clothes that he's attracted to go with being a sissy or like made him realize he was because everything needs to be like pink and the vibe is very sissy. He'll explain. He talks about how his partner now, he's with a woman who knows all of his partners have always known. She does makeup on him. But what she doesn't know is that he still hooks up with guys. And he also hooked up behind her back with the dominatrix. He talks about that experience. He hooked up with a dominatrix two times. Talks about what exactly he did with

her. Then he talks about all these hookups that he's had while dressed up with men while he's been in this relationship. He uses Grindr, I think he was saying. And, He had like one slutty week, okay, that he talks about where he did like one guy one night and then two guys the next night. All dressed up as Bethany. Bethany's a little slutty. He likes guys, like I said, only when he's dressing up. He has no desire to be with a man when he's not dressed up. That's pretty common.

We talk about that. We break everything down. It's super interesting. There's a lot of stories in here. So anyway, I'm going to be right back on with Bethany. Hi, Jim, aka Bethany. Hi, Kathy. Hi, welcome to the Strictly anonymous podcast.

How are you today? Doing great. How are you? I'm good. So listen, Jim, I'm going to be making your voice higher because it's funny when you first called in before I started taping. You were like, I'm not really in that much of a Bethany mood right now, so my voice isn't going to be higher.

I'm like, don't worry. I'm going to change your voice. So I'm going to make you really sound like your alter ego or I don't know. know, who is Bethany to you? Is that just some part of you? I feel like Bethany is the other side of me who is a sexy, prissy, slutty girl who likes to dress up and be with men, sometimes women, and yeah, and be promiscuous and kind of live out all my fantasies of the feminine side of sexuality. Yeah, I love when I get the lacrosstressers who love to be slutty. And it's, I feel like it's the majority, but every now and then I

at one who's like, no, I'm not into the slutty thing at all. But I hear a lot of cross-dusts the shoe when they do become, like their female side is very, besides being very feminine is very quote-unquote slutty. And I always love that because the female part of me is into slutty too, you know. I like slutty dress. I like, you know, I don't know. I had to talk with someone about it. I was like, I think it's from Barbie dolls when I was younger.

They had really slutty outfits, you know? I mean, all. Right. Yeah, completely. And I love that stuff. So you're a slutty. When you're Bethany, you're a little slutty and you like to be used and abused. But let's get into your whole story.

I mean, are you married? Is this a whole secret life? Like, let's start there, but then go back. I am not married. I was for a brief amount of time, but I am in a long-term partnership with someone who knows that I like to dress and knows that and has played with me, knows that I have in the past been with men, but does not know that I still occasionally meet up with. men for little hookups. Interesting. So you do behind her back. Yeah, so it's not completely hidden. She knows about the Bethany side of me, but just not all of

the activities that Bethany does from time to time. Right. And we'll get into those activities, but let's go all the way back. Like, when did you, when did, you know, Bethany start to rear her slutty head? Well, I was a very horny child. Like I was always, I was really attracted to girls from a very young age. I was fascinated with them, the things that they wore, things that my mother wore. I was masturbating when I was really young. Even before I could have ejaculation, I was still having orgasms at a very young age. So I was always very turned on.

And I remember looking at, you know, Playboy magazines. You know, I would occasionally find a Playboy magazine in my dad's and look at it and get excited by the things that the women were wearing or not wearing. You know, they seemed to always have high heels. on. So that formed the fixation in my mind. You know, girls at school and the things that they wore, I remember there was a year where every girl was wearing clogs and I had a fetish, I guess. I wouldn't have known that word then, but I had a fetish about those clogs. And I remember early on, you know, at a time when I was old enough to not have a babysitter, my parents were away, going and looking

to their drawers, I think really hoping to find another playboy to look at. But then also finding my mom's panty hose and underwear and going in the closet. And, you know, and going in the closet. it and looking at her shoes. I didn't have any attraction to my mother, but, you know, those clothes reminded me of the things that I had seen in Playboy, and so I would try them on and get turned on and probably jerk off and kind of want to be that. And I think of it almost like if I was a kid and I would go see a movie and want to come home and play that movie out somehow.

It wasn't too much different than they. Like I'd seen these women in the magazines, and I wanted to be them as a way of experiencing something that I couldn't get with 20-some-year-old. Playboy model when I'm when I'm 12 years old. So, you know, I wanted to try to become that. Oh, and that's interesting. You felt like by becoming that you could then experience or be closer to that experience because you could not possibly get with her, like you said, as a male. I could look at my own legs and touch my own legs and look at my feet in those high heels, even though I couldn't be with someone who actually had those things. Oh, wow. So it was like you were the woman.

you couldn't hook up with a woman because you were too young. So you were the woman that you would hook up with. Like I don't know why I can't explain it properly, but I totally get it. I feel like I've never heard that before, but that totally makes sense. Yeah, I was trying to sort of becoming as close to as I could to get as close to that thing that I wanted to be with as I could by sort of being it.

I mean, I was also turned on by wearing those things and how they felt on me. Little by little, I would collect things that I would find. I remember finding, you know, the panty hose or brawere. in the waistbasket that I had to empty as a chore and I would sneak that away. I remember finding a single high-heel shoe at my friend's garage is probably his mom was throwing out or snuck that away so I would have it in my little collection. Wow. That's so interesting.

Did you ever get caught when you were younger with any of this stuff? I did. My mother, I think, cleaning my room one time, opened up a drawer. It was stupid of me to think that just because I hide it in the bottom farthest drawer, she'll never see it. She did. She would in front of me about it and said, hey, what is this and I want you to throw this away before your dad finds out and I was so embarrassed that I just closed that drawer and I never looked at it and I just it didn't get thrown out for a long time.

I just pretended it didn't exist and then my dad did say something and I remember he asked me like do you wear these things? I said oh no no I just like to look at them and then I you know then they had to be thrown away because now he was on me so yeah that was the one I never got caught actually wearing anything right right I was found out that I had a collection of these things but you felt a little shameful about it when you were caught. So for a little while, you stayed away from it. Yes. In a way, you may have heard like crossdressers purge from time in their collection.

And I think that was in a way the first purge was just being told, hey, you got to throw all this stuff away. Yeah, that is something that I've heard. Is that like a typical thing with all cross dressers, the purging? I've heard it many times read accounts of it that it's kind of a post nut clarity in a way. Yeah. It's a point where, and this happens many times with me, too, but you get, you have to get the urge out of your system and maybe feel like, you know what,

I'm not going to do this anymore. I'm just going cold turkey. I'm going to throw everything away. And I think I did two or three purges even as a young adult before I realized this is silly. I know it's going to come back. I'm going to hold on to everything. There aren't many decisions bigger than having a kid. But for many women, their fertility is a big question mark.

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Now what happens when you actually start hooking up with women? Because it starts out kind of like it's your way of being with a woman, even though you can't be with me. So once you start, did you think, okay, when I start actually being with women, this will go away and then, and did it for a little while? I don't know. I think it did. I mean, there was a period where I just didn't have any of those things.

You know, my earliest girlfriends, I remember being very attracted legs where it was a big on a leg guy. And I loved legs and I loved looking at the things that they would wear. Sometimes I would encourage girlfriends, ooh, you look really good in that. Or I wish you would wear that. I remember one girlfriend in college put on kind of a school girl. skirt or was it even kind of a jumper for a day out and boy was I just turned on by that because I had gone to a private school where they all had to wear these you know plaid skirts and I was just so turned on by a woman who is now like a young adult dressing in that slightly

girly younger way yeah that was really a big turn on and I think that actually became one of my early cross-dressing fetishes was a school girl look which I think is a it's very common especially for the sissy side of cross-dressing why is that because it's such a like the naughty school girl vibe. I don't know. You explain. Yeah, I don't even know if there's so much a naughty part of it. I know, I mean, just, you know, knee-high socks.

Yeah. The plaid skirts. The way that shows off legs, Mary Jane shoes. Yeah. There's something just sexually arousing to me aesthetically about those. But also, I think putting them on, there's something about being maybe a little younger and sissy, sexy, submissive that turns me. on even more somehow.

Yeah, totally. I could see that. So for a long time, I was trying to find and collect and even buy plaid skirts and knee-high socks and Mary Jane shoes and what that's called a Peter Pan collar tops to be that schoolgirl type. And I realized that I was very attracted. Within cross-dressing, I was very attracted to things that were young, pink, lacy, prissy. And that's when I first discovered this term sissy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I think for a long time, like, that's what sissy. really meant was cross-dressing, but with this very young, prissy, lacy, pink frock kind of cross-dressing, pinafores or petticoats or things like that. Right. Now, you were obviously, because you sound like you're probably around my age if you were talking about clogs. There was a time when everyone were clogs, so I know you're older. So you couldn't have been buying this stuff from Amazon. I mean, where back in the day did you get this stuff? Did you walk into like clothing stores and buy it for yourself? Very early on, it was only things that I could find or maybe if a girlfriend had left

something behind. Right. Okay. Later on, it was thrift stores were a good option, particularly when I lived in a city that was rather large and I felt more anonymous and I got a little bit more courage. I would go into thrift stores and kind of very quickly find a few things and just take them to the counter and pay without looking somebody in the eye, perhaps. That was one way. And then Yeah, then eventually, oh, you know what, Victoria's Secret mail order. Oh, so they were early on had that. Uh-huh. Yeah.

I would get lingerie, some shoes, but the shoes only went up to 11. They didn't always fit me very well. So, yeah, Victoria's Secret was another way for mail order. And then, sure, eventually Amazon and other things. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And what about makeup and hair? Did you go that far? Were you just wearing the clothes?

For a long time, it was. just the clothes. Then I bought one wig, a little red, strawberry red bob wig, and maybe lipstick or something very simple. And little by little, that was another thing that I would pick up little things, maybe stuff that girlfriend was throwing away. The makeup is a little bit more, like now I, now I do full makeup if I get really dressed up. And that's something I've learned just maybe in the last 10 years from a partner that I have now. Yeah. Oh, wow. Right, because she knows. Well, I know that there's other... Yeah, I really like it. I love it. I love that. doing it. Yeah, I know that's... Especially the lipstick. Oh, really? Yeah, I mean, I think just the feeling

of that on my lips is a real turn-on and knowing that it's a highly visible thing. Yeah. If someone knows to see me, it would be very obvious. But also just, I think part of the turn-on is the anticipation and putting the makeup on, which takes quite some time, sometimes is very frustrating, but sometimes it's also just a long version of the foreplay of knowing that I'm getting ready. Yeah, I had someone on a... Crosschester on recently that talked all about that foreplay of getting ready and how he just love to lay out the clothes and all everything he was going to wear and the whole experience. He just loved to drag it on and how hot it was to him.

And I had never heard that before. It was very interesting. I'm sure. And other people, though, related to that aspect, but just no one ever brought it up before. But now you're bringing it up too. Same thing. When I did women, I liked what they wore. And I didn't tell them about my side until one time.

Yeah. I was with a woman. It was a town I was passing through seeing some friends. She was a friend of theirs. We ended up out one night and she said, hey, I don't want to go home. Do you want to go to another bar? I said, sure. How about we go to the chamber? She says, oh, the chamber. That sounds interesting. And it turns out it's kind of this S&M fetishy kind of bar. We went there and there were some cross-dressers there. And she remarked about how sexy she thought they were. And I thought, oh, here's my entry point. And I said to her later as we're kind of starting to kiss. And I said, why don't you take me? me home and you can dress me up. And so we did. We went home and she put me in a dress and I don't think it was much more than that, but a dress, maybe some underwear. And she spanked me and told me how pretty I was. And I just, I don't think I've ever had a moment that was as erotic as that moment. Wow. She called me pretty. Right, right, right. Because it was the first time. That was the first time you were really out and proud and actually also able to make that connection and have sex with a real woman. I mean, it was kind of like type of the mountain for you. Yeah, it was incredible.

I wish that had to be able to turn into a longer relationship. It didn't, but that definitely was eye-opening as to the erotic power of not only doing this on my own, but doing this with someone else. Right. And with women, because I've always been absolutely in love with women and to the point where I basically want to be one. And then that sort of extends into, well, wanting to have the sexual experiences of a woman with a man, which might be with a man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When did, you know, how did that journey go? I think I'd been fantasizing about that from pretty early on in some little way, but never wanted for sure act on it, but had a little fantasy about it. And then I was engaged at one point, we'll just say in my mid-30s, and thinking, you know, you only live once.

Here's this thing that I've always wanted to do. I think I got to just do it once. So when that partner was out of town, and Craigslist was a thing, I put an ad in Craigslist. I think the first time I tried it, I was actually on the road and had a few guys think they were going to do it, and then they bailed. But this particular time, I had a number of offers, and one of them was someone staying in a hotel nearby. And so I gathered up some things. I think I did my makeup before I went over there, but put on some sunglasses or something. and went over there. He knocked me downstairs, took me up in the elevator.

I'm still in boy clothes, which feels a little awkward. Went to his hotel, went into the bathroom, dressed up, make sure everything is okay. And then came out and he was lying in the bed and kind of in the half light, half dark. He said, what do you call yourself? I said, Bethany, he looked so beautiful. And that just gave me a real thrill. Yeah. And then I'm like, you know, crawled into bed and didn't quite know what to do because I've always been the guy.

in that situation. Yeah. I didn't really want to kiss. I wasn't interested in kissing a man at that point, but we just sort of nuzzled up against each other. And I think I'd been slowly, I remember reaching down and feeling his hard erect cock and being like, oh, my God, that's a real cock in my hand. And then sliding down and undoing his belt, you know, pulling down as whatever it was,

and then going down on him and just thinking, I can't believe it. There's a real man's cock in my mouth right now. And did that for a while and then said, I think I need you to fuck me now. And so we kind of switched in different position. Doggy style kind of didn't work at first very well. And I turned on my back. And he entered me kind of a little bit more missionary with my legs up over his shoulders, which looked really hot from my angle.

And he fucked me and came. And it was awesome. And the nice thing is I didn't come. So I didn't lose the mood at all. Right. And he was very nice. I was expecting him to be done. And he's like, all right, get out of here.

Yeah. But he was very nice, and we had a conversation afterwards, and I was still very turned on. And I left. And so that was my very first time. But I didn't know if I would ever do it again. You know, I think a lot of cross-stuffs is if they try it at all, it's like, okay, well, okay, I did it once. Right. And maybe that's it.

But it wasn't it for you. It wasn't it for you, though, because I know you had just recently had a slut week that you talked about. Oh, yeah. But this was a long time ago. I mean, how old were you at that for that first hookup? Do you remember? I think 36. Right.

And now that was right before you got married to your first wife? Yes. And now did you, because it was so great and you enjoyed it, did you continue to see guys throughout that marriage? Or did you just do it that one time and wait a long time again? No, I mean, I did wait a little while, but I think I maybe saw two more during that marriage. The marriage didn't last very long and it wasn't because of the cross-dressing.

Right. That was never, you know, I mean, she knew. that I like to dress up and that's it. But it wasn't because I got caught or something like that. It was other reasons that we separated. But I think I'd met up twice more during that relatively short marriage. And back then it was Craigslist and that life were the ways that I would find people. Sometimes I knew if I had an opportunity coming up because someone was out of town or I was going to be able to be away or something. You know, then I put up an ad and see what kind of responses I would get. You know, a lot of them are flakes and a lot of them, they write like two words and I don't

care about that. Like, I want to know someone. I want you to write something. I want you to be able to communicate and I want to feel good. I think there's probably people out there. It's just hook up. Just great. When can you be good? And I am not that way. I might want to talk to someone for a week. Right. To kind of see like, are we going to gel okay? You know, are you really who you say you are because I think a lot of men are liars. And I think a lot of men just want to put something out there and flirt and not really commit to it and maybe just jerk off and not show up. And I've had a few of those experiences. So I try very carefully to vet through, you know, at least an hour or two of back and forth, if not maybe even several days to talk to someone.

Right. How will you, where do you get the balls to tell all the women you were with about your cross-trussing? I mean, a lot of, you know, men don't put that on the table. It sounds like you put it on the table with all of your relationships. I mean, your first wife knew, your current partner knows. Were you always up front and honest? Pretty much. I mean, partly, I am dating someone.

I want to suss out how open-minded they are to things like that. I might drop little hints along the way. But, you know, it's not something. I decided at a certain point in my life and I couldn't pinpoint when, but I decided I didn't want to try to live that lie. I didn't want to try to bury that part of myself hidden away in some secret safe. Right. I wanted, I just couldn't do it.

And I would rather that the relationship just blow up very early on than get years into it and be hiding this thing constantly. So luckily, I think the type of people that I have dated over the years just because of whatever, the music that I'm into or the kind of scene that I'm into, tend to be more open-minded. I'm not dating in, you know, a lot of very conservative, religious kind of people. But how come have you ever told any of them about the hooking up with men? Well, you did tell this one.

She knows, but she does it. Just one. Yep. Just this one. Yep. Just the only one that I've told back to. Right. But no one, like, you've never asked or had a very open relationship with anyone in that you

play and dress with them and with others. No, I have several girlfriends who I have dressed with them, but just with them by themselves. And never, you know, I mean, I had a very brief little threesome one time, but it wasn't in a cross-dressing context. It wasn't in a relationship context. So, no, several have seen me dressed up. And the most recent one, just kind of the way we met, was a very sexual online meeting. And so I was very open right from the beginning about everything. How did that go?

What do you mean? Where do you meet her on fat life or something? It was through an internet. So it wasn't fat life, but it was very, my profile and what I wrote was directly sexual. So we met with very sexual context. So in that sense, I didn't really think I was going to be involved with this person for any long time or that there was anything to hide. And I just came right out with everything. And I think that's really the best way to do it if you can.

Totally. It was just to be right up front and own it. Yeah. I'm surprised, though, that you haven't eventually owned the part of you hooking up with guys. I know that it's a hard thing to put out there for sure. Like, I understand why you've kept it secret, even though you haven't everything else. But I would think at some point, someone like you, considering you've been able to be honest about everything else, would eventually want to be honest about that too, no? Well, I have been honest with my current partner that I...

No, but I'm saying that you still do it, though. I mean, in that you know, do you know what I mean? Well, I was hoping that would evolve. And I did express to her at some point that I would like to do more of this. Oh, okay. And what I read in her response, reading between the lines here and there was, yeah, maybe, but not sure. And I thought, uh-oh, reluctance, I don't want to push this. Yeah, that's, I would tell my sudden you're looking at the cup half empty.

What I see in that is a window of opportunity. It wasn't a no. Yeah, maybe. Okay. that's something like for me I'm like an opportunist and like I said I'm kapaf full like I see opportunity in there to change someone's mind I'm going to go in there and do it you know so I think that you probably can get her to be open minded to it on some level where it's consensual that you're not forcing her to do anything but that she would eventually come around to it considering she's very open to everything else maybe

I don't know. I know that you did mention something in your email about being into cuckolding. I don't know. I mean, do you guys talk about stuff like that too? Do you ever talk about opening up your relationships even with in a way that has nothing to do with you hooking up with guys? Not much these days. Early on, there was some discussion about being open to outside partners or threesomes. And just little by little, that seems to have left her interests. And it's hard for me to pinpoint and tell you exactly where I knew that. But through lots of little conversation that seemed like as we got more committed into a more committed relationship, that she was less and less interested and inclined. But I might be reading too much into certain things. And I think you're right that it wasn't a no. And I think it might be worse bringing up again in the future. I just worry that to bring it up might arouse more suspicion.

And if it doesn't turn into a thing that I want, am I now not going to be able to do the things that I do on the side? discreetly and safely. How long you've been with her for? Been about eight years. Well, listen, you've got away with it for all this time. Have you been seeing guys? Do you see women behind her back to her, or just men? No.

Only men, with one exception, which is I went and paid to see a dominatrix. Uh-huh. That's always a part of the sissy experience, isn't it? Yeah, that's a lot of fun. What goes down there? Like, how come we only did it once in eight years? You've been able to curtail it? I did it once.

I did it twice in one week with the same dominatrix. and it was an opportunistic situation to you. My partner was away. And it's also expensive. Like, I'm not going to lie. That's a limiting factor. If it was a $50 experience, I'd probably do it much more often. But, you know, it's like $300 and I don't have that much spendable income.

But it was terrific. She knew what I was into. I brought clothes. She had some things for me to dress up in. There was spanking and nipple play and dirty talk and, you know, her making me worship her feet, which I'm really into. and then she strapped on a dildo and it fucked me. And I can't verify for sure that she had an orgasm,

but she claims that like she can have an orgasm from doing that. And it really felt that that's what she was doing. That was pretty neat. Yeah, worth the 300. So was that your slut week or you've had other slut weeks? No. Well, that was kind of, that was a little bit of a slot week. Yeah.

The thing that you're referring to happened very recently where, again, it's for various reasons I felt like I kind of had an opportunity. for a short period of time to get like for like I my butt waxed so it was nice and smooth shaved everything which is quite an ordeal and I thought this week I'm going to get down to it and see what I can make happen now I can tell you a whole long history of some dates that led up to this over the years but do that we have time okay well in this case through grinder yeah which is really the only option I have now Craigslist is kind of gone yeah I don't like this okay but it's slow but grind through grinds

I had a number of prospects, and so decided on one, got all dressed up. He came over. He was great. We hooked up. I went down on him. He fucked me. He came. He was so excited.

He fucked me again, which almost never happens and was just really exciting. So that was one night. It was just terrific. And he was just a really nice guy. And I was hoping we were going to be a little bit longer-term thing. He seems to have gotten back together with his ex, unfortunately. But the next night, I had another guy that was going to come over. His nickname was King.

He was a black guy. First time I'd ever maybe going to be with a black guy. I don't really have a, by the way, I don't really have like a black guy fetish exactly, but you always hear about the big cock, right? Yeah, BBC. So I was so excited. He says, oh, you know, I've got seven inches or eight inches or whatever. They all say that, by the way.

So he was going to come over, but then he suddenly flaked, like he was going to be a certain time and that time came and went, no text from him, no nothing. I thought, okay, it's just another guy that's like, so I'm going to go to guy number two. And guy number two is like, okay, yeah, I'll be over. So as soon as guy number two is about to arrive, I start getting text from this first guy, King, who's like, oh, I just feel asleep. I'm like, dude, you fell asleep? Like, we had a date for this particular time.

It's an hour later. You tell me to sleep. Like, sorry, you just lost your spot. Yeah. And so guy number two came over. We had a great time. same kind of thing, went down on him. He came.

Okay, I've now made two guys come three times total. It's already I've accomplished my goal for the week. And then he left. And then the first guy, King is texting me more and more like, come on, come on. You know, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. And so I'm like, what the hell? I've never had two guys in one night.

Three guys. Or the other guy was a different night. Okay, right. Right. So it's one night and then this is now the second night. You're double dipping. Every next night. Yeah.

very next night. I'm like, whoa, when do I have this opportunity again? I'm already made up. I already have all the clothes. Everything is ready to go. How fun would it be like two guys in one night? How slutty is that? So I said, okay, tell you what, you're forgiven. Come on over here. Be here in 10 minutes or whatever it was. He showed up. I will say so disappointing. I think I found a little of few small black guys. No BBC, but he said he was. No, it was a small BC. Oh my God, hilarious. Like, I think it was about, well, it seemed like it was about three or four inches to start with. Once he got hard, it was a little better.

And I will say, he really fucked good. Right, right. He was really good. Uh-huh. Yeah, it just felt good. Like, he really went at it and came. And so that was my third in two nights. Oh, and then that guy, I'll call him guy number two that was there earlier that night.

Yeah. I hooked up with him two nights later again. Oh, wow. And your wife, your girl. or is she your wife or your girlfriend who was out of town that week? Well, at the moment, we don't live together. We live a couple hours apart. Okay, so you have opportunities like this if you want them.

Yes, and so I'm because of this situation currently where we're living apart, we're still together and visit a lot, but there are times where we won't visit maybe a few weeks, and that maybe is an opportunity then. Now, have you ever hooked up with guys while dressed as a guy, or is it always as Bethany? Always dressed up. And you've heard this on your show. I've heard people see this on your show. When I'm in male mode, I have almost no interest in being with a guy.

I can think about it. I can think mentally about what it's like and sort of in my mind be Bethany a little bit. But to actually just be gay and be a guy with a guy is a turnoff to me. Right. And I've heard a lot of guys, a crossfussers on your show and in other places talk about this. And the best way I can describe it for me is it's not about him. It's about me as a woman having that experience. Yeah, totally.

That's what I always get from it, but people don't understand that that are listening. Yeah, in a way, he's just, the man is sort of just like a big, well-made sex toy that's allowing me to have this experience. I don't want to date him. I don't want to have a romantic relationship. In fact, it's even a turn off for me sometimes if the guy wants to go down on me, which a lot of them do. It certainly feels good, but then it also feels like, wait a second, now I'm top and you're the bottom in a way, or I'm the dominant and you're the submissive.

And I don't like that. I want to feel like I'm being submissive and I'm being that. Right. Right. Yeah, that makes sense. So you're always, when you're on Grindr looking for guys, they're seeing Bethany. They're not seeing you as a guy. they know these are guys that are into, you know, hooking up with girls that are,

guys that are dressed like girls. Yes. Kind of, right? Now, do you feel like if you had to give yourself percentage, like how much is Bethany and how much is whatever the fuck your guy name is Jim? Is that what we call you? Jim. Jim.

Jim. You know, it's a percentage. Jim to Bethany. Oh, I'd say, you know, Jim is 70%. Bethany's 30%. Yeah. Now, has, because I've heard from different people that sometimes like that, The female part has grown or gotten smaller.

Like, do you feel like Bethany has become more prominent, always remained the same? Any kind of changes there? I'd say more prominent. It's like I have a bigger wardrobe of stuff and I think about it more. But I also know, like, I know that I'm not trans. Yeah. I'm not, I don't feel like I was meant to be female and that I will go to an operation or anything like that.

I know that I'm sissy, which I think is kind of a subset of cost. and I'm fine with that. And I, you know, I wouldn't push the button to become a woman permanently. I'm fine and I'm very good at being the guy that I am when I'm a guy. So would you call that like being gender fluid? Because like, right? Maybe that's what it is. Or do you say you're a cis male?

Like you're totally 100% male, but you just like to dress up. Or do you say maybe you're gender fluid where sometimes you like to be female when you won't, like every now and then? That's an excellent question. and I guess I would say I'm sort of in the middle of that, those two choices. You know, I know that as a cross-stressor, and I don't want to offend anybody who's trans, I know that I'm not trans. I think cross-dressing sometimes for people who are trans is the first thing that they experience

on their way to realizing who they are. For sure. And I definitely feel that I'm, you know, an ally to the trans community. I want to feel that I understand a little bit of their experience through what I've done. Right. But I'm not that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, I think in a way I've got this feminine spirit.

There's a side of me that's always been more feminine. I have a lot of female friends, and I think in feminine ways in many cases. Aesthetics that I have might be more feminine at times, but I don't feel like I'm in the wrong body. There's times that I wish I was in the other body for a while. And I've certainly had the fantasy of like, what would it be like if I could wave the magic wand and be a woman for a day, a week, a month. Right, but it would never be forever. It's not like you would want to do that.

Right. It's even evident in your early experiences that it really was about sort of your interest or curiosity in it and your attraction to it. But like sort of as a man to a woman and wanting to experience what she does, but not necessarily you and her combined. Do you know what I mean? Like it's a little bit separate from, right? Does that make sense? I don't know. Yes.

Totally. Now, you said that you sometimes hook up with women. Like you're like, oh, sometimes, you know, it's being dressed and being with a man, sometimes being dressed and being with a woman. Now, what is that experience like? Do you, can you, like, when you're with a woman, you're still want to be submissive to that woman, right? Like you were with the Dom or you are with your partners? I mean, are you still sissy, slutty, Bethany when you're with a woman or is it somehow different?

It's evolved. I think when I, very early on, when I, I would cross-dress, my fantasy was to be with another woman as a woman, to be sort of lesbians in an equal where there wasn't a dominant submissive kind of thing. And little by little over time, I've grown to much more fantasize about being a submissive, not an actual woman with a woman, but a cross-dressed sissy submissive with a dominant woman who wants to punish me or humiliate me, make me do things, worship her body. and so, you know, when I've been with a girlfriend in dressed up, you know, I've tried to kind of encourage those situations and give them some idea about how I would like to get to go.

I will tell you that it's rarely gone very well. And I wish I had more patience to nurture those encounters along. The best encounter was with that dominatrix who knew very much how to be and what to do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But also, you know, you got to go back to that first. experience with a woman dressed up was exactly that. Weren't you at like an S&M party? Wasn't there some of that included?

So I think a lot of times... That was much more in line. Yeah, I feel like a lot of times our early experiences, wire us in certain ways. And I think because that was such a highly charged sexual experience for you. And like you said, one of the best, I would assume that that's something that would be, you know, you would file that under hot and then so you would want, of course, that kind of

vibe would be what you would seek out later on. Does that make sense? Yeah, very much so. Very much so. I mean, the spanking, the feeling like I was also even just the thrill of being seen by another person, whether it's a woman or a man, as like dressed up in this way, is what, how do I start? It says it's something that would have been humiliating in any other context. And so in a way, that humiliation now becomes a thrill in that erotic context. And this is a kind of an idea I've had for a long time that I think the things that we fear, if we indulge in them in some little way, can be a thrill. And in sexual situations, maybe a very erotic thrill.

When I was maybe a 12 years old, 10 years old, I remember there was this girl in the neighborhood, the older sister of a friend of mine who was very mean and teasing. And I hated her. I just couldn't. I never wanted to be over there when she was around. and she would make fun of me and what do I look for now? I look, you know, I want to be teased and humiliated and played with in those ways by this kind of dominant, maybe older.

I've always had a fantasy about older women too. And if it all matter, older men. I think when I was a kid, I used to be very afraid of being kidnapped or molested by an older, you know, creepy old man. And that's kind of the type that I seek out now. And I've read this theory about sometimes we eroticize the things that we fear. I think sometimes that that's why cuckolding is such. a thrill or fetish for some men because what's their deepest, darkest fear, if not, you know,

their wife or girlfriend fucking some other guy and him being better or him being more endowed or being a black guy if they fear black guys. And I think in a way, it's like it's like skydivers who, you know, jump out in the midair for the thrill of doing that. Like they're taking on in a somewhat controlled way this worst case scenario. Now, I can't say that that's really the case for all people who are in the cuck holding or a humiliation or cross-dressing. But I think there is something to that for a lot of people. I think if people really thought about it, that's exactly what's going on. And until it was broken down like that to me, I never thought of it that way.

But once it was broken down that way for me, it totally made sense. And that's when I started to think like, oh, as a person who was very jealous and had a lot of boyfriends that cheated on me, I was like, why wasn't I smart enough to figure out how to turn that jealousy into like a fucking turn on and how brilliant really is to do that instead of fucking suffering. Do you know what I mean? I had a guy on recently. I haven't aired his episode yet. He's got a small dick humiliation thing going on and this is a guy that has a super small dick and I was like how smart to turn that into something erotic and something that turns you on because what's the opposite of that? Being afraid to pull your pants down for the rest of

your fucking life and probably so many people, guys who aren't well endowed and have a very small penis size feel that way. But here's a guy who's been able to turn it into a turn on. And I feel like that is no different than the person who's highly jealous, but has been, is smart enough to know that you could take, it's just energy, you know, and it's, it's a thought and you turn that into attraction or eroticize it. And I was like, oh my God, duh, that makes sense. And they may not even realize that they're turning it into that. They may just have somehow in their mind slowly transformed. I mean, when I first heard this theory, it was from Dan Savage, who was talking to a woman

about how she had rape fantasies and how she felt awful for having them because what a terrible experience and awful, but nevertheless, she had them. And that's what he suggested. It's like, you know, sometimes we make erotic the things that were the most afraid of. Yes. And when we heard that, I thought, oh, brilliant. That's so, that makes so much sense as to why I'm. turned on like a creepy old man now or why I'm turned on by mean you know dominant woman type no seriously

I'm a fucking cuck queen that's what I would be in my next relationship I'm done super jealous of my biggest fear go fuck someone else and then come home and tell me about it like that might be hot I'm gonna make that hot I'm not gonna make it a thing where it just like tortures my life you know what I mean seriously I learn that through talking to people now so with your girl now that your partner do you play a lot with Trossop? Do you feel like she tends to that part of you and you can be Bethany with her a lot or because you're doing the secret stuff? Is that how you release it? Yeah, you know, honestly, over the last few years, that's really decreased. I've kind of given up. She's not a natural at being in that way and I've gotten a little bit tired or impatient of trying to coax her

into being a role that she's not very much, that's just not a natural thing. Yeah. So it's been a long time, but I imagine at some point I will say, hey, this weekend, how about we, you know, play with me and dress me up? I will say, you know, she really enjoys doing makeup on me, which is a nice little way to get into that and focus on a part that she does enjoy. And she enjoys having her feet kissed and worshipped and all of that kind of stuff. There's a lot of that that she likes, but much more of a naturally submissive sexual person. Right. Yeah. No, I know. lot of times a lot of guys that are hiding these kind of fetishes that are more submissive in nature, their biggest fear or what they say they always know, they haven't brought it up, is that they don't feel like their girl would be into it because she wants to be submissive. She's not going to be a dom. She's not going to be turned on by that.

You know, that's the biggest fear. And I think most women are like, you're a girl, you know, they want to be a caveman to throw them over the shoulder and, you know, whatever. Yeah. So I get that it's hard sell sometimes, but it's, you know, I've had people on where a lot of times if a woman wires herself the properly or she, that she would be turned on because you're turned on. You know what I mean? Right. Right.

There's something to that, too, that you would hope. I mean, it just sounds like you guys, because you started out very sexual with each other and then because you got into a full-fledged relationship, you just have so many other things. going on now because you're in a real relationship. It's not just all sex and you probably just don't tend to that side of things, especially because you do get your needs met elsewhere. She doesn't know that, but you are. So you don't have, you don't, you're not forced to bring it into that relationship. Whereas if you were like, I can't go do this with anyone else because I don't want to cheat,

you would be more inclined, I think, to try to make it happen in your relationship. Don't you think? Yes, I think so. Now, if I knew you in your regular life as Jim, would I have any idea that this is what you effing do behind closed doors or are you to you just like no one would ever know? I highly doubt it, but I often amuse myself little, very subtle ways, drop hints in jokes in different ways that I think, you know, if someone was sharp enough, they might get it and know. It's like if you know, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What kind of things?

I can explain. I don't know if I can pull up an example in my mind right now, but, you know, it's just like, okay, let's say like a woman's wearing heels and talks about how much they hurt her feet. And I say, you know, jokingly like, oh, girl, me too. You know, like you should see my pair. You know, and it comes off just as a joke. Yeah. But, you know, maybe if they're so inclined, they play back and say, you know, oh, yeah, like what size?

I'm just making this up. Yeah. You know, there's little ways, you know, just to amuse myself, just occasionally in a moment of confidence, drop a little joke or a hint or something to see what happens. Does anyone besides the partners that you've told about it? Does anyone else know about Bethany or what you're into? No. No, right?

I really don't think so. Now, I mean, who knows something that I don't realize they know? You never know yet. But I will tell you that a very early girlfriend in college who was very, very successful, sexual but did not know about me and went on to be very sexual and involved in the BDSM scene, but I've stayed in touch with her over the years. I finally did just write her an email one time and say, hey, you never knew this about me, but I just want to share this with me. You're on Fat Life. I'm on Fat Life as Bethany. Here's the link. You can go take a look. And I had written out a long history

of how I got to be Bethany. Oh, wow. And so I just said, you know, I know in telling you this, like any hope of ever getting with you again, not that there was really any anyway, it would be totally gone because she only wants to be submissive with dominant men, but I'm like, I still just want you to know this part about me. So, and she wrote back, he's like, oh my God, I can't believe it. This is incredible and good for you. And I wish I had your legs. And it was a nice thing to share and to kind of just get past that. Other than that, I mean, as far as I know, no. Now, do you ever like when you're by yourself, like, go out dressed or Is it only when you hook up with guys and you have these hookups that you do that?

I really would love to go out dressed more. I've been outdressed. I've been dressed in outside, I think three times. One time, again, partner was away. I decided to get dressed up and go to kind of a LGBT-friendly dance club and just a dance. And I got hit on a little bit and that was fun. another time I went to a different LGBT-friendly bar to meet out a new gentleman. This is kind of an interesting story I'll get to.

Met him out. I was fully dressed up, you know, walked into the bar, dressed, boots, wig, the whole works looked really great. We had a nice little date. We had drinks and talked. And what was interesting about this is he did not know at the beginning of this date that I knew who he was because through other context, we were Facebook friends. Oh, wow. So I guess this is a person that does know in a weird way.

So I said to him at some point, I'm like, hey, by the way, I'm so-and-so who you know through this thing in another context. And he's like, oh, wow, really cool. The neat thing about this guy was he wasn't under any alias. I knew his real name. He never pretended to be anything other than who he was. Yeah. He was in a marriage, you know, no sex life for years, that kind of thing.

But it was kind of neat. And since then, we had that one date, which went pretty well. we kind of made out in the car, went home and did a few things. He couldn't really keep it up, unfortunately, downside of being attracted to really older men. But we then later hung out again as me and my boy self in him just as him. And this is other kind of context. And that was kind of neat thinking like, he knows. He knows my secret.

And I'm out with him and I'm around other people that know me as me, as Jim. Now, the weird thing was there were a couple of times where he wanted to like grab my ass. or, you know, whisper something in my ear about something sexy. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not. You're not with Bethany right now. Yeah, Jim doesn't want to fucking hear it. Yeah.

I have the fantasy in that situation. Like, if I had the right guy where we could be friends in normal life that maybe like we would be out hanging out as dudes and underneath my clothes, I would maybe have stockings on and know that like after this hangout at the bar, we're going to go back to somewhere else and I'm going to transform into Bethany. Yeah, yeah. And I might be kind of hot to think about all night, like nobody around us knows, but I'm actually this cissy slut who's going to be sucking this guy's cock later. Yeah, for sure.

The four flavor of that would be off the chart. But I've never quite had that situation work out. I've had a couple of regulars over years, you know, when I say regular, at least twice, but some of these were like three or four or five different times. Once I finally kind of got over not wanting to kiss, there was this guy, I'll call him Tim. And we had a couple of dates that were pretty good. And the third date, as a fun little twist, I said, okay, and this is at a house that I was living at, I'm going to say, I said, I'm going to be dressed up, the door is going to be unlocked, I'm going to be in the room blindfolded.

So at a certain time, I went to unlock the front door. I was all dressed up. I was kind of dressed up as a bride in this case, and blindfolded. And so I heard the door open, you know, 99% chance it's the guy that. I think it is, but who knows? I hear someone coming up the stairs, step in front of me. My breath just got like super, like my heartworms bracing, almost hyperventilating. You know, I hear him unzip his fly, and then, you know, I hear, I feel actually his cock hit my face.

And that was a really hot one. And in that case, this was one of the best dates ever because we had both just gotten tested. And so we knew that we were clean and no disease, no chance of transmission of anything. And so that was one of the very few times that I've been unsafe with sex because it was safe in this other way. So, you know, he fucked me without a condom. And we actually, he was getting close to coming. And so I jerked off. And we came right at the same time.

And it was just amazing. It was like his cactus felt so good in me and just thinking about that knowing that at that moment he was coming inside me was really hot. So that was one of my favorite encounters. So you do typically. and it was so hot because it's not something you typically do because you're not testing and everything. With these other people, you're always protecting yourself so you're protecting your girl, right? Because. Yes, absolutely. Yeah.

That's so interesting. Now, do you have all, like, where's your stuff hidden when she comes over for like a long weekend? Or she knows, she knows, so it doesn't matter. She knows. Yeah. She knows. I still keep it hidden a little bit because I don't know who else I might have over. Right.

So there's times when I have it in, it's a little bit more visible in my closet, but, you know, it's usually kind of in drawers of a dresser that most people don't see. Right. And now what's your favorite kind of slutty outfit to wear? Like, what do you love to lay out and put on? Like, why don't you explain that before we go? I love pink. I love lacy things.

I love short skirts. It depends kind of on my mood. Sometimes I want to be much more sissy prissy, where it's like white and pink and ankle ruffle socks and much more young little sweetness, kind of look. Yeah. And other times it's more

sexy, slutty, even kind of a punky look. So, like, I have this really short plaid skirt, scrappy heels. I love high heels. I love them scrappy. Black patent. Sometimes knee-high boots. Braws, corsets. But a lot of pink and black

or pink and white together. Sometimes fishnet, but usually more like sheer, very slippery, slidy hose, not panty hose so much, but stockings, garter belts. You know, it's like all the things that I would see the women wear in the magazines, the porn magazines, you know, that I would maybe luckily find one as a boy. Right, all that stuff that you were.

Right, all that stuff that you were really looking at when you were little. And I think, and it was interesting because I had someone that was breaking down the panty hose fetish recently. And he was a leg guy and he was saying he felt like a part of what he, why he liked pantyhose is because of the time he grew up in and women were wearing them a lot and it was what he saw whereas and he felt like if you know somebody grew up in a different time they might wind up being into different things because of what they're seeing you know it starts with those early experiences you grew up when women were wearing panty hose yeah and they were wearing them when i grew up

certainly that was an early thing and one of my very earliest encounters that was kind of landmark for me was putting on my mom's panty hose and jerking off. And then this one particular time I remember getting myself into a position where when I jerked off the cum went right into my mouth. Oh my goodness. I never tasted that. Oh, my God. Had you managed to do that?

Did you practice a lot or went in by accident or you were able to do that all the time? I certainly couldn't do it now at my age, but I managed to kind of bend myself over. So like my, I don't know how I did it, Kathy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My knees were about where my ears are. I just bent over myself so my top was right above my mouth and I knew what was going to happen and my mouth was open. Now I will tell you that in the instant that it hit my mouth in orgasming, I was already

out of the mood. It happens that quickly. Wow. So it was a little weird, but. Yeah, were you horrified? Yeah. I mean, if I haven't, I don't know. It was okay with it.

It just, you know, I was just like, oh, somehow I'm not now in the mood to enjoy that as much as I thought I would be. Right. Because you're coming and then you have to experience it and you're, already like done being horny because you just came. Yeah. Well, you know, you've probably heard this, but there's this refractory period in these hormones that kick in.

Yeah. When you come, and I think when you come a certain way, but happens really fast that takes you out of the mood. Yeah. As a man. I don't think it happens with women nearly as much, but no. What I've learned to do is sometimes just to edge and to be able to ejaculate a little bit without having a full orgasm.

And then I love eating my own come. Right. That makes sense. because it's my own, but because it's semen and I want to have, you know, taste that and feel slutty. Because that's a hot experience, too. Yes, yes. Right.

But you can't, but it's not hot when you totally come and you're done. Right. Interesting. So you just allow yourself to come a little bit. Yeah, I've been with men a couple of times and I'll tell them like, hey, I don't want to come. Don't make me come because I'll be out of it. But it's happened and still.

And I remember with one guy, like, I just two turned on and he was doing a thing and I came. and all of a sudden here's all of this come everywhere. And now he wants to go down on me and swallow it and do all these things. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, nope, nope. Like I don't want, I'm done. I can't do it anymore. Oh, my God. It's funny because you did mention one experience that you're like, oh, and he didn't get me off.

So I was still like in that hot sort of vibe or scenario. And I remember early on when I was doing my show and people would tell me, especially guys in these kinds of situations where they would go to maybe a dumb. or, you know, a dungeon and they would leave with their heart on. And I'd be like, what's the fucking point? It's like going to a restaurant, not eating your meal and ordering the most delicious. I didn't understand if that orgasm wasn't there. But then I remember the one guy that explained it, he just like, because like the

minute I would come, it would be, it's over, you know, whereas because he wouldn't come, he would stay in that heightened state for so long. And then he'd go home and it would last so much longer. I was like, oh, duh, that makes a lot of sense. And then I finally realized. The spell is broken at that point. Yeah. I mean, yeah, because like being horny and is like being drunk.

And the minute you come, you do get snapped out of it. It's like you go from being drunk to being completely sober. Like, what the fuck? That's a perfect metaphor. Imagine, yeah. Imagine, okay, we're going to do one shot. But that shot means you're going to be completely back to being sober and the night's over. Yeah.

And God does what you're doing when you're drunk. And then you sober up and you're like, what the fuck am I doing? It's the same experience. And so I finally understood when that. one guy explained it. I was like, oh yeah, that makes sense. Now I get why so many people they would talk about how they wouldn't come and how hot that was because it makes it last longer. And like you just mentioned that about one of your experiences, how that. And especially with that slut week that I had. Yes. I knew really on like, okay, I'm going to try to hook up

with multiple guys in this period. If I come with the first guy, that's going to be it. I'm not going to want to be with any other guy. Right. The whole weekend or whatever it was is going to be, that's wiped out. I told each one of them, like, don't let me come. In fact, I wore a chastity cage for a couple of them and I just said, like, don't let me come. Even if I seem like I want to or whatever, just don't let that happen. Yeah, because you know, it's true. It makes sense. Like I said, I never understood that. And I've had to talk to 562 people to understand certain things. Eventually, like the light bulb goes off, but I remember specifically figuring that out and being like, oh, yeah, that totally makes sense. and now I hear it all the time.

But anyway, thank you so much for calling in and sharing your story. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available not only in paperback and e-book, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it.

The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang being girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person. And they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person. And I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like Penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. 17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, one or two and then skip around.

You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format, and finally, the audiobook is available coming out August 25th. But you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link. to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint. Okay. There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me. Okay. I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other. And that's what you get to do there. You can post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total strictly anonymous community and you will love it.

I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord. It's private, like I said. All you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook or the paperback. Send it to me at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. That's strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. And I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in.

It's the strictly anonymous podcast.