Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 595 - GIRL TALK: Kathy on the Gift of a Good BJ

Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. The Craigslist is definitely like the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Santa Port or Thailand. You can't not do it.

Starting point is 00:00:17 The temptation is just too much. It's real problems. Do your friend know that you're banging her or no? No, he has no idea. And anything goes. The motto of the show, let your freak flag fly. Probably the only good advice I'll ever give you is to rehire. your wits and chain. Here is your host, Kathy.

Starting point is 00:00:34 Hey, welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast with Kathy. If you want to follow the Strictly Anonymous podcast on Instagram or Twitter, follow the show at Strict Anonymous. If you want to be on the show, normally I'm not ranting about anything. I'm talking to people about their naughty secret lives. It's called Strictly Anonymous because people remain anonymous on my show. I change everybody's voices. I don't change mine. I don't know why, but I never did. and this is my real voice. If I would have changed it, I would have changed it to be higher

Starting point is 00:01:05 because what I have noticed is that guys go mental for high-pitched voices, like female voices. I change all my girls higher. I change them, my guys lower. Everybody's voices are totally changed if you want to come on the show while remaining anonymous

Starting point is 00:01:20 because you have an interesting secret, naughty life that you want to talk about it, even if it's not private. You can still come on and talk about it. I'm always looking for people to call into my show. go to my website strictly anonymous podcast.com and click on beyond the show or email me strictly Anonymous podcast at jemil.com. You could also leave a confession on my confessions hotline. The number is 347, 4203579. That's 347. 4203579. I air all of those anonymous confessions,

Starting point is 00:01:48 as well as post all the anonymous picks of all of my guests. There's anonymous videos of me, my 500th episode. If you want to know about me, go listen to my 500th, episode or you could go onto my Patreon and I have a video of that whole episode of me. You just see my torso and my hair but you don't see my face. But everyone remains anonymous. I have a lot of hot picks of all of my guests, anonymous picks as well as anonymous confessions, as well as all of these episodes early and ad free on my Patreon. Patreon.com slash strictly anonymous podcast.

Starting point is 00:02:22 That's it. So like I said, this is just a little bonus episode for you guys for Valentine's Day. I decide to put it out there. It's only 15 minutes. I think you're going to enjoy it. Like I said, listen to the whole thing. Let me know what you think of my rant. It's only 15 minutes. It's really short. And it's my PSA on Valentine's Day. So anyway, I'm going to be right back on with me. I'm not going to say happy Valentine's Day, even though it is Valentine's Day. Because for people who don't have a partner, it's not Valentine's Day. Okay. I am a person that it's not like a bit of a bit of a partner. I'm a bit of a partner. I'm a partner. I'm a bit of a partner. I'm a with someone for 20 years. I've never been with anyone longer than like two and a half years, I think, with my longest relationship. So, you know, the way I always felt about Valentine's Day is that, you know what? Why would I celebrate it if I'm not with someone? It's kind of like celebrating your birthday when it's not your fucking birthday. Do you know what I mean? Like, if you don't have a partner, Valentine's Day doesn't exist for you. And who the fuck cares? Okay.

Starting point is 00:03:24 I used to love going out on Valentine's Day solo because that was the only time you could go to an effing bar and know exactly who is available and who you could hit on without being disappointed that they're taken. Seriously, I just always thought it was like the best night to go out. So I'm going to give you a little public service announcement for Valentine's Day. A, one of the things I want to say is if you don't have somebody, it's not your day and who the fuck cares. Seriously. If you do have somebody, okay, and you're a girl, don't get your guy balloons or stuffed animals or anything like that. Just give them a fucking blowjob. You know, no questions asked blow job. Like just a blow job. You don't have to do anything from me. You just sit down. I'm going to blow you and swallow. Make sure you swallow. Even if you don't ever swallow, even if you hate

Starting point is 00:04:18 swallowing, even if you never have in your whole life, swallow. That would be like the nicest thing you could do and it's really not that bad. I swallow. I always have. Just fucking swallow your guys jizz for Valentine's Day. He would like love you. I swear. Seriously, it's that easy. And a blowjob I'm telling you, if you do it the right way, it's not going to take that long. All right? Make sure you lube up your hand with your spit. Okay. Use your hand and your mouth at the same time. You don't have to deep throat when you're giving a blowjob to make it good. I've heard that. I give great head, okay? I swear to you, I do, and I don't know how to deep throat.

Starting point is 00:04:56 You don't have to. I've asked guys, like, how can I give such a good head if I don't know how to deep throat? They're like, deep throating isn't even that great. Like, it doesn't even feel that good. It's kind of like squirting. Everyone thinks, I always think, oh, I want to swear because it's going to be like the best orgasm. No, not really. It's just like a trick.

Starting point is 00:05:12 Just like swallow. Not swallowing. Swallowing isn't a trick. It's just like deepthroating. It's just like a circus trick you could do that I'm very impressed with girls that could deep throat, okay? But I can't. I want to, but I don't think I'll ever be able to do that.

Starting point is 00:05:27 But it's not that great. You don't have to deep throat to give your guy a great blow job. Like I said, use your hand and your mouth at the same time. Make sure your hand is wet. Spit on it. Make it fucking wet, okay? And then jerk him off and blow him at the same time. You could grab his balls.

Starting point is 00:05:48 Every guy likes their balls touched a different way. if you're with the same guy, you know how he likes his balls touch. Some guys really like them touched a little bit. Some guys like them touched hard. Some guys don't really fucking like him touched at all. So if he likes his balls touch, touch it at that at the same time. But what's the most important thing I think you should do is like fucking swallow, especially if you've never swallowed before.

Starting point is 00:06:11 You know how happy your guy will be and how impressed he will be? And I don't know if you're like me, but I have an ego. Okay. So if I do something, I want to do it the best. And if I give someone a present, I want it to be the best fucking present. So if you have an ego, then make sure you give the best blowjob. And to give the best blow job, you should swallow. And if you're not going to swallow, then take up your bra and let them come on your tits or do something hot with it afterwards.

Starting point is 00:06:41 I don't know what people do. Maybe that's what people. See, I've always swallowed. I've never not swallowed. So I don't really know. I'm always assuming that people that aren't swallowing or like pulling their mouth away and just letting it go and you know what I mean and looking horrified.

Starting point is 00:06:56 What do girls do that don't swallow? What I would say, if you can't swallow, if you can't take one for the team, even on Valentine's Day, to prove your love, then, you know, make sure you let them come on your tits or something. Make it hot, okay? And then for guys, do the opposite for your girls. Send her flowers.

Starting point is 00:07:17 at her work. Now, if you're listening to this, I'm probably airing this on Valentine's Day. It's probably too late to do that. But I would say that that is a really good thing to do for a female on Valentine's Day. Okay? The times that I have had guys of my life, anyone that sent me flowers at work, cha-ching, they always got massive points for that because, you know, it's like everybody looks at you and they're like super impressed and they're like your guy looks really effing good okay and especially on valentine's day let me tell you there are a lot of girls with guys that send them flowers on valentine's day so you know if she's looking around your girl and there's another girl in the office that's getting them and she doesn't she's not going to probably swallow when she gets home

Starting point is 00:08:07 do you know what i mean so why don't you make sure i should air this the day before things for the day before Valentine's Day. Or no, this is going to actually air very early in the morning. So it's still time, okay? All you guys that really want to impress your girl, send her flowers to her work. Now, you know it's post-COVID and nobody's fucking working. So then I don't know. If she's not working and she's working for home, do something that she loves.

Starting point is 00:08:38 Like as much as you love a blowjob, what does your girl love? Does she love to watch the real housewives and begs you to watch it and you never do? and watch it with her. The whole point is do something for her that is what she absolutely loves that you don't. Like that blowjob. A lot of women don't like giving head, but she's going to give you the best blowjob. If that's what you want to do for you and you want her to swallow, even though she's never swallowed before or fucking hates jizz, but she's going to do it for you, then do the same for her, okay? Whatever it is she likes that you are not. into. That's the thought that counts. Like when they say the thought that counts, that's what it's

Starting point is 00:09:19 about. So like with the swallowing for the girls, it's like the thought. It's actually the action too. You're going to love it. But it's the thought that you're doing that for him. Do not. I told you ready, right? No balloons. I remember having a friend who had a guy who worked for him. And his girl was very vanilla. And he loved her. Okay. Totally loved her. Was, you know, in it for the long haul. this was his girl, but he wasn't satisfied in bed. And guys talk, you know, so we would all talk when we would go out to dinner and he'd talk about how his girl never let him, like, she was very health conscious and she was very uptight about food for herself as well as for him.

Starting point is 00:09:56 She had, like, food issues. And she definitely projected them onto him. So he wasn't allowed to eat anything ever. She was always watching their meals, you know, they were married and the kids' meals and stuff. So he said, on Valentine's Day, I remember one day him saying that, like, he came home. And you know what his girl had for him? His wife, the girl with the eating issues that never let him eat anything, she had a burrito at a table, a burrito on the table and a balloon tied to the chair.

Starting point is 00:10:27 Oh, my God. And he was like, I would have rather had a blowjob. And I'm like, you know, right there. Duh. Like, of course. And this is where there sometimes is a disconnect. Probably for that girl. she would love to eat a fucking burrito, okay?

Starting point is 00:10:43 Like she was projecting onto him what she would want. You know, this poor girl was starving herself. She had eating issues. So probably for her, the best thing in the world on a holiday would be to eat something really unhealthy. But that's not her guy. This is not what he wants. Okay?

Starting point is 00:10:59 You got to think about somebody else when it comes to presence. Don't think about yourself, especially when it comes to the opposite sex. Now, personally for me, if I was dating someone and they put rose petals, like from the door to the bathtub, I would get dried up from that scenario. I would actually laugh. It would be so stupid to me, but I am not normal. Okay. I am not the normal girl. 99 women out of 100, and I would be a part of that. Would love that scenario, I think, because I see it all the time. I love reality TV. I watch it all the time. Okay, and I see this scenario where the roses on the bed

Starting point is 00:11:39 and they do it in these hotels and on the honeymoon and then to the bathtub and the girls go mental for it. So I suggest that too. If she doesn't work in an office and you can't send her flowers, do that flower thing that all girls seem to

Starting point is 00:11:55 like. And girls no balloons, no cutesy things for guys. I don't know. I live in New York. And I don't think younger girls do this anymore. Younger girls are way different. But I remember when I was younger and I'd be walking around on Valentine's Day and I'd see these poor couples walking around. It wasn't poor couples. It was the poor guys. Like they'd be walking

Starting point is 00:12:18 candid hand with a girl and they'd be holding on to like a bunch of balloons. And you'd see in their face like how embarrassing. But like what are they supposed to do because their girl got it for them or like a fucking stuffed animal or a big heart box of chocolates? And I'm just going to tell you straight up why I'm so harping on the balloon situation. is because I learned the balloon thing the hard way. When I was really young, okay, if you listen to my 500th episode, you know that one of my first boyfriends I dated,

Starting point is 00:12:46 I was very young, like 15 or 16, and he was 21. I think it was probably in a legal relationship. But I was dating him. He was the bartender. He drove in a car, you know, I didn't even have my license yet. And it was his birthday, and we were dating,

Starting point is 00:12:58 and I really looked up to him and was really into him. And for his birthday, I was always into giving presents. So I went all out and bought him like a dozen balloons. You know, I'm fucking 16 years old. I don't know what to buy a guy. It's my first boyfriend.

Starting point is 00:13:15 So I got him this. This is so hilarious. So I give him those. He goes home. Thank you so much. I think I brought him into work or something. I don't know how I gave it to him. But he lived close to me.

Starting point is 00:13:27 And maybe like two days later, I went over to his house to meet up with him. Oh, my God. I walk up to his house and what do I see stuck in the tree in front of his house? Is all the balloons I gave him. Of course, he was so embarrassed and hated the balloons that he let go of them when he got home. They got stuck in his tree. And I never forgot that lesson. Don't ever buy a guy balloons.

Starting point is 00:13:58 I mean, come on. What was I thinking? I was 16, okay? But learn from that 16-year-old. If you're 25, if you're 45. whatever, don't buy guys balloons, don't give them a burrito for Valentine's Day or for any

Starting point is 00:14:13 day. Don't project what you want onto someone else. Give them like the basic things that men and women want. Men want blow jobs. Women, you know, they want flowers. They want romance. You know, if I worked in an office, I work from home, but

Starting point is 00:14:30 I would like, I am the girl that wants. If I'm in an office, you know, I want to be one of the girls that's getting fucking flower sent to me. And not deli flowers. Okay. Well, you can't send deli flowers, but that's another thing. Like, I don't know. And most people don't have deli flowers in the suburbs, but in the city. If you're going to give a girl flowers, don't give her deli flowers. I think that doesn't even count in my book. I'm snobby when it comes to flowers. Getting a nice arrangement of flowers. And if you're getting her roses, you really want to make her happy. This would make me happy. Buy her double.

Starting point is 00:15:05 Not just one dozen, two dozen, three dozen, like go all out. If you're going to send him to her work, make it better than any of the other roses that were sent to the office. Do you know what I'm saying? Do you get where I'm going? Girls are competitive. Make her have the best. She'll be happy. I don't know.

Starting point is 00:15:26 This is where I'm projecting how I feel what I would want. But I think that girls are like that. When they do like those rose pedal things, you know, put some rose petal things. you know, put some rose petals in the bathtub maybe? I don't know. But anyway, I just wanted to send out a quick Valentine's PSA, like I said. I was trying to think, oh, what episode could I put out? And I was going to put out a bonus episode. But I'm like, I'm just going to talk about Valentine's Day from my perspective. If you are single, like I said, I've been single many Valentine's Days in my life. And who cares? I never cared. You should not care.

Starting point is 00:16:04 It's a great night to go out and meet somebody because you know for a fact they are available if they're out by themselves. Even guys that are unhappy with their wives and girls that hate their fucking guys. Everyone's with each other if they're partnered up on Valentine's Day. So if you go out, it's the best night to go out because you can meet tons of people because everybody that's taken is out. It's like weeds out all the unavailable people for you. So be smart about it. Don't give a shit that you don't have anybody. Who cares?

Starting point is 00:16:39 It's like I said, it's like it's not your birthday today. Big deal. If you're alone and you are lonely and you want to meet someone, go out. If you're like me, you don't even care that it's Valentine's Day. Stay home. Definitely write in and let me know if you're a girl and you swallowed for the first time. I would like an email telling me how it went and maybe like a thank you note from your guy

Starting point is 00:17:06 Just do it If I could get one girl to just swallow I mean just swallow Don't taste it while you're swallowing it Don't smell it. Did you ever like do an oyster? I do it the same way Just like fucking open your mouth

Starting point is 00:17:21 And let it go down and don't think about it Oysters are fucking gross If there's anyone out there that eats oysters but doesn't swallow jizz, let me tell you, jizz is a lot easier and better. I would rather swallow jizz all day than eat one oyster, okay?

Starting point is 00:17:39 So I'm sorry, girls, if you are out there or guys and you love oysters, swallowing cum is so much easier and less gross and tastes better, if you ask me, unless your guy does drugs, you will taste it in his cum,

Starting point is 00:17:56 but you don't have to taste it, just like fucking swallow. Let me know how it goes. If you're a guy and you, for the first time of your life, you set your girl flowers at work. I want to high five, you let me know. But anyway, anyone who's coupled up, have a great Valentine's Day.

Starting point is 00:18:14 And anyone that's not, have fun tonight. Go fuck a stranger. Go pick someone up. Go give your number to somebody. Go out and have fun. Or stay home and don't give a shit that you're alone because it doesn't matter. Anyway, thanks so much for listening.

Starting point is 00:18:31 Hey, everyone. Thanks so much for tuning in to this week's episode. If you want to follow the show, follow me at Strict Anonymous on Instagram or Twitter. That's at Strict Anonymous. If you are on YouTube, make sure to subscribe. I love YouTube as a platform for my show because people comment there. And I try to reply back to every single person who post a comment. So even if you're not listening on YouTube and you want to talk about the show,

Starting point is 00:18:57 go to my YouTube channel, subscribe, like, and share my videos and strictly anonymous podcast. If you want to sign up for my Patreon, on my Patreon, you are not only supporting my show, but you will get these episodes early, ad free, and you get to see anonymous picks

Starting point is 00:19:13 of my guests. Most of the girls send in anonymous picks, and some of the guys send an anonymous picks. So if you want to see anonymous picks of my guests, as well as support my show, and get these episodes early and ad free, sign up for my Patreon. Okay, I just want I'm going to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly anonymous confession,

Starting point is 00:19:32 Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available not only in paperback and e-book, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck-wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang being girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person. And they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person. And I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. 17 of them.

Starting point is 00:20:25 They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format. And finally, the audio book is available coming out August 25th. But you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord.

Starting point is 00:20:50 My Discord does not disappoint. Okay. There's no way you get into my Discord any other. way than getting the link from me. Okay, I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other and that's what you get to do there. You could post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total strictly anonymous community and you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord. It's private, like I said.

Starting point is 00:21:22 All you got to do is email me a screen. screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the e-book, or the paperback. Send it to me at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. That's Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. And I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in. This is the Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Patreon.com slash strictly anonymous podcast.

Starting point is 00:22:01 That's patreon.com slash strictly anonymous podcast. The link is also in the description below. Thanks so much for listening.

Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 595 - GIRL TALK: Kathy on the Gift of a Good BJ

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.