Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 600 - Fetish Friday - Brenda is a Gender Fluid, Cuck Crossdresser who Recently Came out to Everyone

Episode Date: February 24, 2023

Brenda is a gender fluid cuck crossdresser who recently came out to everyone and they called in to talk all about it. When did they start cross dressing? When did they realize they were bisexual and gender fluid? And when did they come out to everyone? Tune in for all the details including how they got the name Brenda, their first sexual experiences with other guys when they was younger, how their sexuality has fluctuated over time, how and when they started getting into trans women, their early memories of being jealous of goth girls when they were younger, their first articles of feminine clothing they owned when they were younger, how they told their wife when they first met her and how she encouraged them dressing as well as hooking up with guys, the first couple cuckolding situations they set up and exactly what went down, why being poly didn’t work for them, how they had a heart attack and how that effected their life, how their mother feels about their dressing up and how they came out to her, how and why they identifies as gender fluid, how and why they decided to out themselves to everyone via Facebook and the surprising response and a whole lot more. FREE 7 day trial **For extra exclusive crossdresser episodes/content plus all pantyhose exclusive content + see anonymous pics of my guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. The Craigslist is definitely like the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Santa Port or Thailand. You can't not do it.

The temptation is just too much. It's real problem. Do your friend know that you're banging her or no? No, he has no idea. And anything goes. The motto of the show, let your freak flag fly. Probably the only good advice I'll ever give you is to rehire. your whips and chain. Here is your host, Kathy.

Hey, welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast with Kathy. If you want to follow the Strictly Anonymous podcast on Instagram or Twitter, follow the show at Strict Anonymous. If you want to be on the show and tell your naughty secret story or life story, while remaining anonymous, you could be on the show. Either go to my website, Strictly Anonymous Podcast.com, and click on Be on the Show, or go and email me at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. Or you could also go over to Instagram or Twitter, follow me there. I'm at Strict Anonymous and click on the DM button, just DM me over there. Make sure to give me a little information about what you want to talk about.

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because there's a ton of extra content there, including picks of today's guests. Brenda. Brenda called in to talk all about cross-dressing. Brenda's also a cuckold. She loves to see her partner. Fuck another guy. And her partner, her wife, knows that she's a cross-dresser. Brenda, there's been out with her since the get-go.

And recently she came out to everybody. Did like a mic drop on Facebook. Like, boom, I'm about to go off Facebook. and I'm just going to tell everybody who the fuck I am and here it is. And that's how she did it. She like added herself on Facebook right before she canceled it. And she talks all about that. That's more towards the end.

And I have to say it's like a very inspiring episode I feel like because of all of that. There's so much to this one. We first start off talking about her cross-dressing, how she got into it, how she knew she was bisexual very early on. She was having experiences with guys very early on and she was into it. and then she got into trans women. And then when she realized that she was into dressing up and how that progressed, her sexuality has fluctuated over time.

She considers herself bisexual, but like I said, it fluctuates as well as her gender. She feels like she's gender fluid. She talks about that. She had told her girlfriend right from the get-go, she became her wife, and then they started to hook up with other people. She cuggled him a couple times,

and he talked specifically about those times. And in the middle of all of that, Brenda had a fucking heart attack, okay? We talk all about that. That was hardcore. It very much knocked him off his game. He talks about that whole experience. I think I'm saying him and she, and I have to make sure with Brenda that that's okay. Because it does get confusing because, like I said, Brenda's gender fluid.

Sometimes she's Brenda. Sometimes she's him. She's not looking to fully transition. And then towards the end, after talking about like what she went through with the heart attack and everything and how it knocked her off her game, she does talk about all about coming out and how everybody felt when she came out on Facebook and what a positive experience it was. And I do believe that that part of the story is very inspiring. I think the whole story is super interesting because there's a lot to it. It's not just the cross-chressing. It's cuckolding.

It's bisexuality. It's the heart attack. It's coming out. It's all of the above. So it's really interesting. I do have pictures of Brenda over on my Patreon. And you can sign up for free just to check it out. It's patreon.com slash strictly anonymous podcast.

I'll put the links over there. But I'm going to be right back on with Brenda. Hi, Brenda. Welcome to the strictly anonymous podcast. How are you today? I'm very well, Kathy. So listen, I could, you know, I change everybody's voices. I can make you really sound like Brenda if you want.

Yeah. Brenda is your cross-dressing name? What do cross-dresses call that part of themselves or that name? Or is there a term for it? Or like, I don't know. You tell me. I actually don't know. So I assume it's different for everyone, right?

For me, it was just the name my wife actually picked the first time she saw me dress. It made it a lot easier. And then for me, it helps me to sort of separate anything I want to do with Brenda, with anything that I want to do with more the male side of my life and stuff like that. Right. So it's like a great way to compartmentalize. Like it has a name. So you're like, that's over there.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because, I mean, me personally, I'm out to pretty much everyone. So it has nothing really to do with hiding anything anymore. It's just, I don't know, it puts me in a definite frame of mind. depending on what I'm doing. Right. Well, you did mention, you just threw in there, like, when I told my wife about it, like, why don't we go back in time and start with, like, when you realize you were into

cross-dressing, when you started to do it, and then how you wound up telling your wife and how she felt about it. Tell me your whole story. Oh, well, okay. So how far back can I go? Go all the way back. Okay. So I definitely found out that I was at the very very.

these bisexual quite early on. Because of my first sexual experience, being with a friend of mine, it was me and him were walking. I lived in the countryside in the middle of nowhere, kind of very natural environment. And the nearest shop was, let's say, just over an hour now walk away. So, you know, you could kill a day by walking to the shop and that.

So that's what we're doing. And it was boiling hot at the time. It was at, you know, the height of summer. and we were just chatting shit really and he goes oh have you and we must have been 15 16 roughly and you know height of hormones you know looking at all the girls in school all that stuff and he asked me have you slept with anyone in school yet and I go no not yet you know at that point I was still a virgin and he goes have you thought and he was like have you thought about it I was like well of course I have you know like it it occurs me and he sort of gets a bit closer to me and he sort of gets a bit closer to me

and puts his arm on me and he goes, well, I like you. I'm like, oh, okay. I had moves down and he starts touching my bum, like touching my ass and stuff. And, you know, I get a little bit turned on by it. And it was then he kind of, we found a field behind some bushes, very romantic. And he took me behind there. And we didn't do anal sex. I only did oral on him.

It was a while before I did anal sex. And then, yeah, I ended up blowing him behind the bushes. And what I quite liked at the time was the fact that he kind of put the lead a little bit. And I remember that appealing to me even then, but I didn't quite know why. And then I actually, I ended up actually sucking off about three or four guys in school over the course of my time there. Did word get out? Not that I was aware of. I mean, they all knew each other.

And it was on, it was only when it was on one and one that they ever came up, of course. Two of them hung out with me. So whether or not they spoke about it, I don't know. Like as far as I'm aware, it didn't. It was just circumstance. I think I don't know. Right. Now, did you, was it confusing to you?

Because you wind up marrying a woman. So were you like new for sure at that point that you were also into girls? Oh, absolutely, absolutely. At that point, I was, because now I'm very comfortable to say that I'm by, but then like anything else, there's a spectrum to that, of course. Yeah. What would you give 20, 30, 20 and 80? I would say, let's say, 65, 35, roughly straight by. Okay. Great gay, sorry. Just because the men that I think. fancy the men that I go for unless they are a man that's like really like I look at them and I go whoa like it tends to be the more feminine men transvestize transsexuals cross dresses twigs

stuff like you know that I'm attract I'm in fact I'm attracted to femininity myself in people more than their masculinity yeah but then there is the odd guy I mean who doesn't look at Jason Memo and go fuck me you know yeah my god right yeah so it's it's that thing of of, it was very confusing to me in the sense that in school, it's very binary. When you're all kids, it's very binary. Are you gay, you're gay? You're gay. In my school, it was like, oh, no.

You know, like, it was like people gave shit for it all the time. Yeah. Like, of course. And because you're kids and you don't know any better. And so that it wasn't like I was trying to fight against it. It was like, it was like almost. trying to work it out as I went along. Yeah.

And then, like, I maybe wore panties out. I was never one to go through my mum's dressing drawer and stuff like that. Like, even now, I don't wear my wife's clothes or wear my own clothes. Like, back then, I would buy the odd pair of panties and stuff like that and put them on. But I would never go into my mum's wardrobe because it just didn't appeal to me. I know it does to others out there. And that's how they start early on. Yeah, yeah.

But what did appeal to? to you. Sorry? What did appeal to you? Well, at the time, definitely I found she-mail porn quite early on. Okay. Because obviously, going back 20 years ago, the inset wasn't, we didn't have porn hub and stuff like that. So you were lucky to see a few pictures.

And now, obviously, I and everyone else can be very specific in what they watch when it comes to porn and stuff like that. Yeah. Back then, I kind of. happened on a video and it was a very attractive looking trans girl and it turned up she had a penis and I was sat there masturbating and before I know it she takes down a trousers she has a penis and I didn't mind and I didn't stop. I was like oh okay like cool I just I didn't even know it was an option I didn't even know what's the thing and then that's how I kind of got into that side of it and then it was that thing of well I definitely knew that genetic females and trans females

pretty early on both appealed to me. Like if later on in life, because the woman that I'm with now, she's genetic female. But if I did happen to ends up with a trans girl, it would have been just as likely with me, I think. Like, but wait, she's genetically a male or genetically a female?

Genetically a female, sorry. Yeah, yeah, okay, you said male. I was like, what, confused. So she's not a trans woman. She's a, she's a cis woman, they would say, right? This woman, sorry, that's it, yeah, yeah. Let me ask you this, sorry, because I'm just going in, I like to go in order.

I try to, but I take people off fast. Yeah, go great. You're talking about the hooking up with the guys and stuff. There was no dressing or anything like that before that. No, because most of the time would be during our lunch break at school. No, but I mean, I would see them as two separate things. Like the hooking up with guys, I know that they're all one of part of Brenda, but a lot of times there's separate things, you know, so I'm wondering if before those hookups,

Was there any part of you that was thinking about wearing women's clothing at all or that came after that? I'm trying to think. I think I was, I think I would definitely considering it before just because I remember at the time. So the aesthetic that still like appeals a lot to me today is like the punk, the goth aesthetic. So the corsets, the lace, the black. And I remember seeing the girls in school that because we have to wear uniform and the UK so we would have like days where you didn't have to wear the suit the tie you know and people would come in and what I remember it was one of the guys that I blew his sister came in one day

dressing this beautiful goth outfit and I just remember looking at her being absolutely flawed by it and just thinking I wonder what I'd look like in something like that just kind of as a passing thought and then I I mainly up until I left home it was mainly just panties and I had like one black dress that I would put on every now and then. But there was no way to sort of meet anyone or really build upon it. And plus I was, you know, before the age of 18. So I couldn't anyway, but I definitely wanted to. Right, right. And there was no Amazon because so you couldn't stock up on all the stuff that you wanted. So maybe panties and one, that one black dress was the only thing that was available to you because you said you weren't into going into your mom's clothing, right? And

getting stuff from her. Yeah. No, no, it didn't appeal to me. It was just, it was a line I was just in my mind because when it came to my household there was just me and my mother and in my mind it was a line I wasn't willing to cross was to wear any of her clothing I totally understand that in a weird way I don't know if you could even put it together properly and say it in words why there's a difference with that then the guy who's in a family with three other siblings and a mother and a father and he takes like his sisters or his mothers but I feel like when you're just the mom and a son. Maybe it's just too close to home or something. I don't know. I get I, but I could understand that why that would be different. Yeah. And on top of that, if something goes missing or if it isn't quite where she thought she thought she's, yeah. Who else is it? And then what tended to happen was I sort of ended up on a few chat rooms and websites and stuff like that. Because I blew those guys at school, one guy did the first guy that I was with.

We did stuff together a few times. And I think for both of us at the time, it was just more curiosity than anything else. It was, you know, he definitely isn't the sort of guy that I would go after now. And I'm not sure he's even gay or by it. We've not spoken for a good while now. Right.

But, you know, we did a few things. And then after school finished, I was only actually in the town that I'm from for about, another 18 months afterwards. So then it's hard to keep tracking your school friends. And then after school, I sort of started to actually go out and hang around with different people and stuff like that.

So I lost touch with a lot of people from school in general. So then after that, I sort of spent some time on some chat rooms and websites for trans people talking to them. I'm more displayed myself as an admirer at the time, rather than identifying as trans as any way. So I didn't really end up meeting anyone during that time. It was, yeah, and at the time as well,

I was dating more girls and stuff because that kind of took over, I think, at the time that, like, in terms of my hormones, because this is between the ages of 16, 19 now. Yeah, how old are you now? I'm 35, 36 this year. So, so, so, and I was still trying to figure stuff out back then. Honestly, I think this idea that we figure out our sexuality really early on is silly.

Like it's, it's not been a short journey for me to kind of figure it all out. And even then, occasionally I still get the odd thing that I'm like, I don't know, I'm into or something that I was into that I'm not as into. You know, it fluctuates. Yeah, I think that's interesting. That's a good point. Yeah, it was very much focused back then on finding a woman, like trans woman. cis one. And then eventually

I found, how old was I? I was 19 and she was 20. I found the woman that I'm, my wife today. And we've been together now 16 years. And from the offset, we were both extremely honest with each other. We were both very honest with each other. So it was like

it took me a few months to tell her, I also like trans women. I like cross-dressing, you know, stuff like that. And then her eyes lit up. Right. And she was like, oh, we should try it. I was like, okay. So then before I knew it, she had me in a maid's outfit. She had me in makeup, heels, doing a bit housework, stuff like that.

So she encouraged it and she helped me with it. So that was definitely an ease off my mind. And I feel for any couple out there where their partner is someone like me and they're having to hide it from their wife. like I honestly feel for those people. I really do. Because you can't imagine any different because this is like right from the get-go, you wind up having a partner that's okay.

Exactly. And that's the thing. So all the time because my partner not only to do with this sort of stuff, she's super cool, super chilled out with everything, you know. Oh yeah, because there's other, isn't there some cucking going on? There was. There was. Well, yeah.

We'll get to that. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. But like, yeah, like she's super chill, super relaxed about everything. But then like any other relationship, we have our rules. We have our boundaries. We still check, is this okay?

Is that okay? We still have us time. We still have, you know, there are certain people that we both have a list of that we definitely can't sleep with no matter what. Like, that there's specific people that we both said never sleep with that person. Like, and so, you know, it's like any other relationship. to be honest, Kathy. It has its rules. It has its boundaries. But we've both been quite relaxed and honest from day one. That's what I'll say to anyone out there. It's just be honest with your partner. It's going to suck. It is going to suck, especially if you've maybe thought, if you've ever thought about telling them, tell them. If you've kind of maybe hinted at things and they've shown resistance against it, maybe think again about telling them. But I would say, try it because you never know. that's just something I would say but it's not for everyone right right well so now wait just now

tell me about your history with your girl because at some point there is like that cucking thing that's going on so what how does that all evolve in your guy's relationship okay so we when she from the offset she found out that I dressed um we were already getting fairly experimental on the bedroom anyway with bondage and spanking and, you know, stuff like that. We sort of did the sub-dom thing both ways round. And we're still quite switchy with each other. I can be dominant.

I prefer being submissive, but I can be dominant. And we sort of realized that I preferred being submissive and that, you know, that I kind of like started liking the idea of seeing all other guys and stuff like that. what kind of happened was I went to university. That was a very busy time. So we didn't do much time that. But after I came out at university,

I kind of got work. And we were both in a good financial position at the time. So we were like, let's start thinking about doing stuff, actually going to fetish events or meeting couples or whatever it is. Because at that point, it's not that we've done everything that we can do in the bedroom together because that's still definitely not the case. We still find plenty of times where we find some. something new together. But it was that thing of like we sort of, we'd thought about it before and we

definitely discussed it before. And at that point, during the entire time of our relationship with the open relationship thing, I was meeting the occasional guy when I could, but once again, due to time commitments, I couldn't. And she was fine with that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, what happens is she, she knows every time I've met someone. I've never kept it from her. You didn't have to. No, no. All that she asks is that, all that she asks is that she knows where I am, and that I wrapped my dick up. Yeah. Simple as that.

Yeah. And it's like, cool. And it's a safety thing, you know, and it makes me feel. And, you know, so she's been fine with all of that. So then what happened was when we had the time to meet another couple, I found a guy that's about half an hour on the train from us because neither road, which makes it a bit more difficult as well. So I found this guy, me and him got along really well

because we had similar interests and similar hobbies. and we had quite good sex, you know, and he was single and he had a studio apartment on his own. And I sort of, he sort of saw, I showed him a few pictures of my partner and he found her attractive. I was like, oh, cool. Like, what would you think about if I asked her to, for a free someone?

He was like, ask her and see what happens. So I was like, cool. And I asked her, and then she had to think, because that's the thing as well. Like, as you can imagine, some things that I've bought up to, even before this she had to think about for a bit before a definite answer. You know, I'm not asking her what's for dinner tonight.

Yeah, exactly. It's that sort of thing of like, you know, I'm asking to come, we sleep with people. Am I okay to wear a dress? So then when she thought about it and eventually said, yes, it was just a case of arranging it. And I kind of beforehand, I kind of, because now, because I live in Manchester now, with a huge city so you can be very anonymous here so now I go out dressed all the time

in my makeup whatever but the town where I'm from is very small everyone knows each other so if the wrong people know it can it can end badly you know it's it wasn't a great town to begin with and it's definitely not the

most open minded shall we say so what I had to do was I had to get changed at his place in his bathroom. So then what I told him what she liked and then I told her how hot it would be

if I walked in and she was already sucking him. And then once I finished changing and I open the door, that's why I walked in on. And then during that session because I made it clear that kind of

I had cook old thoughts and stuff like that, you know, during that session it was very much me watching them two together and stuff like that and I've really ended up enjoying it. And how was she? Did she dig it?

She loved, I could tell she was enjoying herself. What's quite interesting is actually from an outside perspective, it's because you're watching your partner in ecstasy and you can watch their curves move, you can watch them enjoying themselves, you can, you know, you can watch the guy's dick going in. you know, it's a very hot experience because you're watching your partner in ecstasy

and you're not having to focus on doing it yourself so you can just kind of enjoy the moment. Yeah. Which I really honestly, to this day that I can say that I really enjoyed. We then had a few. I can't remember how many sessions we had with him. But he got a bit clingy. To who your girl? Oh, towards you.

No, to me. Because he still liked me. As Brenda, he still found me. We met a few times separate from my partner as well, just because he found me attractive, I found it. And like I said, the common interests that me and him shared, my partner didn't. So we could generally, me and him could talk about stuff

when we, you know, between us having sex. So we got on really well, but then he started messaging me too much. And for me, because I'm a busy guy. So when I do the Brenda stuff, it's as and when I kind of want to do it. Side of that, I'm quite a busy person. So I don't need someone who's needing me to message them every day kind of thing. Right. You're not Brenda 24-7.

I mean, you have that in its proper place and it fits into your life, but you have a lot of other things going on too. We all, especially when you're younger, it's different. No one has a life. But the older you get, the more things you have going on, you know, you can't be blowing someone's phone up like that unless it's like someone you're dating or it's your intimate partner right i mean it just doesn't happen yeah so i just said to him in the end look i'm sorry it's not going to work and then he still tried it so i ended up having to block him

stuff like that and which was a shame because as i said i was starting to consider him a friend like yeah but i think he was copping feelings because listen the only reason why he was hitting you up like that. Like I said, it's only acceptable if it's two people that like like like each other. Like when you're older like that, you blow up phones like that. You know what I mean? Or it's like your partner. He was definitely feeling that way about you probably. Yeah. Yeah. And I don't get me wrong. Nice guy. And I wish him all the best. But you have a primary relationship with your partner. You're not, you're not, you're not looking to fall for somebody else. We actually did try that with another female. With another female. She was a friend that I met through.

our friends and I really liked her and then we once again discussed it with my partner etc we then tried the poly relationship thing me and this girl but it didn't work out because she wanted someone exclusive to her and I worked out I definitely don't need two people to to look after so I'm glad I tried it but at the same time I wouldn't do it again like definitely not again like it's so but we're definitely not polly we're definitely of the realms of, if we have got someone else that is part of the bedroom,

we then would sort of not keeping them completely at arm's length, but definitely sort of in and out sort of thing, you know? You're not going to be able to develop. You don't go there as far as past the sexual stuff that you do is what you're saying. And friendship. Yeah. Right.

Yeah. And then what happened was so this is in about, this will be 2019, about April May time, because this during 2019 is definitely when we were at the height of doing the cook-hold stuff and other people in the bedroom, stuff like that. And she found another bull on FetLife, and he is someone who's in a relationship,

but his wife is completely vanilla. But then she was okay with him meeting other couples to do that sort of stuff, to play and stuff like that. And so what happened was we met with him a few times. We got along really well. You know, we were both submissive to her. You know, she would then do things to both of us. Cuckhole play, she would tie me up and make me watch them and stuff like that.

It was good fun. And once again, he seemed all right. She liked him more than I did, but he seemed okay. I was definitely kind of not against him. And then eventually we were in another city at a gig and he said, oh, I'm there as well, like that night. And we're like, oh, cool. okay here's what bands we're going to see

he's like I'm not seeing them I'm working I was like and we had an Airbnb so we had an apartment we rented out for like three or four days so then he came over to there and we had fun the night before and then because we were sleeping on a different bed I sort of woke up and I felt a pain in my left arm

and I was like oh and this is the depressing part but I'm going to bang through it as quickly as possible I don't mind depressing parts. Fuck anyone that does. Like, I like real life. I'm a realist. So, you know, if this comes involved in your story, bring it up. And that's why I love about your podcast.

Honestly, like, because to me, like, long time listener. So yeah, I love that. You seem to appreciate people's stories instead of just get to the sexy bits, you know. Yeah, yeah. I like real life stories. Like, you know what I mean? Your biography. No, nothing that I watch on. Nobody's

biography is just filled with a happy shit, okay? Like, I like the real life. stuff I think that's important. And like I said, if it comes up in this story, it comes up, you got to tell it. I think that makes it more real. Yeah. And, you know, so I kind of, I sort of feel the pain, but because I've slept in a different bed, you kind of, you don't think too much of it. Okay. If it's your own bed, if it was my own bed, I'd be a bit more concerned. But because it wasn't severe at this point, I sort of shook it off. Okay. Thankfully, the gig we were going to was like I had sat down an acoustic gig, so I wasn't being very active.

I was in pain and a bit of discomfort, but I had a good time. Then we went home again, back to the room. Then I got the next day, and it felt even worse. So I was like, oh, okay. And then after a few doctor visits, and because God, like, between that and me actually finding out what it is, which ended up being a heart problem, and there were several misdiagnoses and stuff like that. Oh, once the pain started and it was in your left arm.

Were you having heart attacks or no? I was having heart attacks, yeah. It was literally going from the center of my chair. And I was, I was sat there saying to my doctor, I know what this is and I'm not medically trained. Yeah. It was definitely a very scary part of my life. Yeah, I can imagine.

And people, and they're not even figuring it out in the beginning. getting. Yeah. Yeah. What happened was I ended up in the local hospital because of course the medical system works a bit different here than it does there. We have the free healthcare, but I believe that sometimes it's not as good based on this story. Yeah. Because we went to because my doctor was very kind of chilled out about it. It was like we don't think it's a heart issue, but just in case it is, we'll book you in for an ultrasound at the local hospital. You can go there. that'll put your mind at ease. I was like, cool.

Okay. What happened was they took an ultrasound of my heart, looked me dead in the eyes and went, we need to take you in for surgery now. Wow. Imagine you didn't push for it. Sorry? Like imagine you didn't push for it.

It almost sounds like you did. And that's why your doctor was like almost appeasing you by giving you, oh, we'll just give it to you just so that I could prove I'm right and you're wrong. You know, that's kind of like where he was coming from. but you knew and you were right. Yeah, like what the worst part about it was, the suddenness of all, because I was, I was not in a good place mentally because I was losing. The worst part was, what was happening was, going to sleep and then waking up in the

night screaming and crying and pain because of the heart attacks. Wow. Wow. It was literally, this went on for about a month before I got seen properly. Oh, and that's the bad thing about having free health care. when you pay for it, they're going to want to do all kinds of testing on you.

You know what I mean? Like it's a very different thing. Yeah. Like, and don't get me wrong, though, once I was in the hospital, I mean, the actual over here,

yeah. The one thing that people get right is the nurses are fucking excellent. Every single nurse was treating me with dignity and respect all the time that I was there. And that's what I appreciate was that, even though I had tubes coming in out of me and,

you know, I felt like shit all my time there. The respect that they showed me was very nice. It was nice to still kind of feel human. Right. Yeah, it was. But we went through that. And since then, we haven't.

Because obviously, what I recovered from that, I had the surgery about, that would have been end of May, start of June. I then recovered from that around the start to the end of August. That was for recovery. I then, because my job is, I'm a musician and we have a union over here that you can join. So because I'm part of that union and because these health problems essentially

destroyed my career because I then wasn't able to work for six months. I then was fortunate to get a bit of money throwing at me. You're the union, right. Okay. Yeah, yeah. So I was going to be okay for at least a little while. So then I decided just to go to gigs, just to go and see every band that I wanted to see during that time just blow up and I'm glad I did because then of course in January 2020

COVID yeah yeah yeah and and so things like you know because my mental health wasn't great during that time as you can imagine because I'm faced with death at the age of 32 yeah you know and because I I thrive on going to see live music that's a huge part of my life so COVID happens and I can't do that anymore so from April 2019 to let's say round about the end of 2021, my mental health is in the toilet. Like I was not, you know, thankfully I've had therapy and stuff like that since that I'm good now. But at the time I was very myelistic.

I was very, what's the point in life? I was very kind of not really doing anything. Listen, I think a lot of people that went into that healthy felt got to that low point. I saw a guy kill himself jump off a roof right in front of my face. like in June of 2020. Like I said, I think people who went in healthy without anything else going on, you know, fell into that place because of other kinds of circumstances,

losing their job and everything. But you went in with that already. And then to be fucking locked down, which we all understand the depression that came, you know, that threw us into. I mean, I'm surprised he didn't do anything terrible. You know, I mean, that's a tough thing. place to be. Yeah. Yeah. It's, it definitely had its interesting moment, shall I say. Darkest time

of a dark time for you. Yeah. But, but for me, because I kind of, because at the time when I was going to all these gigs, I was like, oh, I'm spending my money wisely. I'm doing the right thing with it. And then COVID hit and I was like, I did the right thing. Don't care. Yeah. Like, literally. Because then I couldn't see like bounce for at least two years. I think it was. was something like that over that. It must have been. It was insane. You were kind of like living your life as if that was going to happen. You don't know what I mean in a weird way. Yeah. Yeah. It was, you know, it might have been intuition. Yeah. And so that's why, you know, because of my health condition and then because of COVID, we haven't met anyone. It's been talked about now more recently,

especially now we're in a bigger city and we can actually meet people again because we kind of we ran our well a bit dry where we were. Yeah. So it's being discussed again, but I think this time we maybe want to take our time with it a bit more.

Plus she's a lot more picky than me when it comes to who she'll sleep with. Women, I think in general, are. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It doesn't surprise me. And the thing is, this time I think we want to get it right because I'd rather, we'd rather, we said the ideal thing would be another couple that are

open to playing with another couple. Like, yeah. That would be the ideal where the, because I've never had a male, female, female free someone with her. I'd love to. Like, she would want to be with a woman? Yes. Well, okay, so before me, her actual last relationship was with another woman.

Okay. So she is by, but I think because it's been so long since she's been down there, like, you know, with another woman. bit under confidence she's you know she's not sure of herself of it which i understand so you know we we were definitely in terms of the female partner need to find someone who is kind of understanding with that and is maybe a bit new to it as well because i think then they can it might make them both feel less awkward but i think it's with her a confidence thing you know of you know it's okay because you haven't done it for a while to kind of not get it wrong but

kind of explore it a little bit. Yeah, yeah. Now, let me ask you this, just back to your heart issue that you had in a weird way, because I just, I try to see couple half full things. Now, in a weird way, did COVID and that long pause help you and your heart like sort of recoup and everything? Or no? I would say yes and no. I would say it was more, but because the recovery, The recovery they recommended was the things like going for a walk outside. Well, I couldn't do that. Oh, so in, no. I felt like maybe the physical side of it, I'm still kind of struggling with a little bit.

I have my good days and I have my bad days. Right. So if anything, it actually was, it actually hurt because you couldn't do that exercise and, and move, move it along and stuff. That's interesting. Yeah. Yeah, that sucks. Bad timing.

Yeah. Like, it definitely sort of. it was all bad timing but but then the mental side of it because it kind of it gave me a chance to think it actually made it as well me and a friend of mine I taught him how to play bass guitar and we started a band together because there was nothing else to do and now it's kind of become one of my main projects this band so oh great so that's a positive yeah yeah and he got me back into music because I just basically gave up on it like I was like

what's the point? Right. And he was constantly like bugging me to teach him how to play. And I was like, okay, eventually I said, and then we've had a blast since. And so that was the mental side of it of actually knowing what I want out of life. Help, right. Because at the time, before my heart condition, I was doing music, but it was mainly teaching. And so I wasn't actually being creative.

I wasn't actually having any music. I wasn't producing. I wasn't using any of my skills that I'd actually learned. For yourself, right? You were helping other people. Yeah, which, don't get me wrong. Teaching has its own rewards. Yeah.

It's an incredible, you know, profession. And especially if you get students that are really engaged and really want to do it, and then you can see their progress. It's fantastic. It's, you know. But I learned that I wasn't incredibly, entirely. fulfilled. And so it helped me learn that and now I balance my time a bit more between, you know, different things in my career and stuff like that. And that has helped me to realize

that, which has then been more beneficial for my mental health, I would say. Definitely. Yeah, that's great. Now, these friends of yours, like the guy who you're in the band with and your other friends, do they know about Brenda or is Brenda and what you do with your girl, like very DL on the DL? Yeah, no, it's all very much in the open. It's, it's he. So the friend I'm in the band with, that's actually a good start because in our household is me, my wife and him. Okay, he lives with you guys.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Because we, but we had the discussion about it and we were like, well, me and him are the main parties in this band. Right. And in the end, we decided, well, instead of having a phone you and ask you to come over to work and someone, why don't we just live together? So when we've got an idea, we can literally knock on the next, the door next to my house in the other room, show you. So it's to help us move forward, essentially. Yeah, that's smart.

And he knows all my friends know because it took a while, but I was like, I have to tell them, because we lived in such a small town. There was a chance that we're going to find out anyway. like because all the time I would see guys on grinder and stuff and see their faces and be like I've seen you at a party right right right and because we're all alternative people you know the people hang around with the fete friendly people the goss the hippies that kind of crowd yeah we're all very open-minded anyway so they were like cool and then like my best friend I took we were at a party

and I sort of took him to one side I said, I have to tell you something. He was like, well, I was like, I'm trans. And he sort of put my head, his mind my shoulder and went, cool, I don't care. Do you want to drink? Yeah, that's awesome. Literally that was an attitude.

But you consider yourself trans? Well, because, okay, so the best way I can describe it is like, when I say trans, I suppose transvestite or gender fluid because I'm not truly trans, I'm not fully trans, but I definitely fluctuate between. the two. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, but like one thing I can confirm, for example, is, like, I don't want to get rid of my penis. Like, for example, like, you don't want to, right, you don't want to get the surgery or anything. You don't feel like you're a woman trapped in a man's body.

Do you feel like you're both? Explain. Yeah, I feel so, for example, right? Like, if I was going for a night out and someone asked me to get dressed up for it, I would lean more towards wanting to look good as female than I would want to as a male. So instead of doing the suit. Sorry. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, what do you do to look good as a guy? That's what I mean. Yeah. It's more fun. There's more involved to be the girl. Yeah. And honestly, I like the process. I like, I like makeup.

I like picking out an outfit, buying an outfit if you've got in the evening. And I don't know why. I don't know where that comes from because when I first saw the first pictures of myself with the done makeup and stuff I sort of looked at them and went oh I look good like just kind of not

you know not getting cocky just kind of oh that looks all right like let's do it again and then yeah like now I wear kind of I'll wear nail varnish or an eye shadow most of the time but if let's say all I'm doing in the day because being a musician I do work sometimes from home

So if all I'm doing is going to the shop and then working from home the rest of the day, I'm generally just going to be in a t-shirt and jogging bottoms because I don't need to be dressed up. I'm not going to, because as most transvestics, transsexuals will tell you, we don't wake up like that. And it takes a lot of time to look like that. So it depends on what I'm doing is kind of which direction I go in for the day. If I'm going out to a gig or something, excuse me, I will put makeup, on I will put a dress on, you know, it'll be definitely more the direction that I go, just because it feels more natural to me. Yeah, that's so interesting.

I mean, I was like thinking, oh, you know, cross-dresser episode maybe for my Patreon, but this is definitely going to have to go on my regular podcast on a fetish Friday because, I mean, you are in a much better generation than these guys in their 50s and, you know, that had to really keep everything on the DL. I mean, you've been pretty open. It's pretty ballsy of you, but maybe it's because you're a musician. and you live in that creative world and like you said, most of your friends are open-minded anyway. I don't know, but you've always been so upfront about it

and open. Yeah, I think honestly, right, so you said about the musician and being that sphere, well, yeah, absolutely that helps because I'm like, because if any of them would have been to say anything to me,

my first reaction would be like, well, you like Alice Cooper, right? Exactly. It's that thing of, I think in the alternative, and it is spheres anyway. It's a lot more, you know, there's a lot more accepted stuff. Yeah, look at Marilyn Manson, even back of my day.

There was David Bowie. And for me, what kind of helped as well, they understand for me, because sometimes I'll get dressed up and all I'll do is watch TV, game, you know, it's nothing sexual at all. So I've been to parties dressed up and been around them as Brenda, and it's not an issue. It's almost a non-issue. Like what what makes me laugh is if we're at a party in an equator's comes that hasn't seen me for a while

and they have to look twice and I go how but the thing that helped encourage me was the part not because normally the person that was hosting the house party was a close friend because I actually you know I actually only have a handful of friends because as we were saying earlier as adults it's hard to keep track of all your friends so yeah I've been a little built down to let's say no more than about eight people and so it's normally one of those hosting the house party and they always said the same thing to me if anyone here has a problem with it come and tell me I'll tell them to fuck off

I'll tell them and go because that's not the sort of environment that I want in my house I want people to feel safe here I want people to feel like they can be themselves and we very much have that vibe around each other it's yeah it's like kind of

give and take it's you know we allow each other to express ourselves and to be ourselves for you know for whatever reason Right. Yeah, that's amazing. And now, what about your family members? Do they know this kind of all of this stuff? Do they know Brenda?

Yeah, so for a start for various other reasons, like, I only really talk to my mum now because my dad's family, I've not known since the age of four. And my mom's side for various reasons. We don't. My grandmother's passed on that side and my grandfather's passed on the side and the rest of the family. We don't get on with. But she knows. but not

that's all she knows like I wouldn't go into detail about it but she knows like because she was the last person to know because I was like well I need to be out to my friends first because that's a softer bloke than my mum if she if she doesn't accept me

and she accepts it but at the same time like I'm now it's still in no rush to just you know be dressed up rounder it's definitely something that I want to ease into and that it would be great to me maybe go out for a meal in a dress and sit with that kind of thing. That would be nice, you know.

Yeah. So because it's, but it's that thing of like, who you tell or when you tell them, that's completely based on you and that's completely based on the people. And what sort of circles you're running and how old you are. And there's a lot of factors that play there. And that's why, as you said earlier about your older guests and stuff like that, it's so easy to feel for those people because there's social pressures back then and now from that age group that I just don't understand, you know.

Yeah. What about your girl, like your in-laws? Do they know? Oh, yeah. Actually, yeah, they do. Sorry, like, because they moved out the country about two years ago. So, and we're planning on seeing them this year. They found out, but after.

they moved away because I kind of, because about 18 months ago, I quit Facebook because outside of my band, I don't really like social media. Like, I think it's a waste of time, to be honest with you. Yeah, it's a time to suck. Yeah. I realized that it wasn't doing my mental health any good. So I was like, I'm going to quit Facebook. I'm done with it. And as my mic drop on Facebook, I kind of came out of everything because I was just like, you know what? I'm going to leave this up for a week, see what happens. And then get rid of my. like wow just just and then do you know what was surprising the people that message me saying it's cool

like just it's like that like I had guys from uni being like I would never have suspected like but well done for coming now I don't and the best thing that someone can say is if they don't understand is simple I don't understand but good for you right like just leave it at that And at that same time, I'm not one of these transvestite trans people that if you say the wrong pronoun or you, you know, use an outdated term. I don't jump on it because I don't care. There's more important stuff for people to worry about than that to me. It's that thing of, you know, I prefer they, them or she, her, but if someone calls me he, him, especially my friends that I've never.

known for a long time, I don't sweat it. I don't think about it too much. You know, it's, it's, yeah, there's, there's more important shit to worry about. Yeah, well, you, I mean, you, considering what you went through that health thing that you went through would probably put something like that into perspective and you have that perspective more so, right? Yeah, that actually gave me a bit of an interesting perspective on it because it gave me the, the perspective of, that's, that's when I did my mask cover. coming out actually was after that. Yeah.

Before I was out to more friends, but after that, just completely. And the thing is, the only reason I was a bit concerned was because I was a teacher as well, whereas now my attitude is completely different because I still do teach, but I keep the two things completely separate. Yeah. Like, because when I'm teaching, I'm not thinking about any of that at all. I'm thinking about the lesson and I'm thinking about, you know, the money that I'm earning. Yeah.

Like it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's the thing of, and, and that's what I think a lot of people forget. Every single person on your podcast, of course, we have a life outside of all of this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And there used to be that concern, but after I had the operation, after I had the health care and I could have died for God's sake, it was that thing of like, I don't care anymore.

Like, either people are going to accept me or they're not. So. And that's just. the way it's going to be. Like, it's, it was, as I said, more, I was surprised by people's reactions, not because they were negative, but because they were overwhelmingly positive. People that, as I said, were just acquaintances were messaging me saying, that's really cool, well done. Good on you. Like, that's amazing. I think that you, but you created that opportunity for people to show you how accepting they would be by putting that out there. And I think sometimes we don't allow

for that. No. And once again, it's a risk. Like any of what I did, any of what I'm telling you about now, could have easily just gone wrong. Like,

and I've had people before. And another thing that made me do it was occasionally when I was on Grindr, like I would have people messaging me going, I know you, you do this, you do that. Like, you hang around with these people.

And it used to scare me. And so I was like, well, I don't want that anymore. people are going to threaten me. I want to turn around and just go to them. Cool. They know already.

Yeah, you take your power back that way. Then they don't have power over you. I would do the same way. I'm rebellious like that. Like, fuck you. You're not going to put that on me. I'll fix that. By exactly what you do, that does fix that.

That takes all their power away. Yeah. And when it comes to this side of my life and who I am now, well, because I've known, about it. As I said, like that first sexual awakening at sort of the age of 15, 16. Yeah. Well, now I've known for well over half my life what I am and who I am and what I'm in the bedroom and that I'm bisexual and that I enjoy wearing female clothing, stuff like that. And I try, I tried to hide it for so long and I tried to kind of sit down and work out who

I should tell for so long and what I should do for so long. And in the end, I just went, ah, screw it. Like, I just, that was my attitude was, let's just, let's. just start telling people if it goes wrong, you'll have the people that will stand by you. You'll, you know, and then you actually might find out more about your friends. Because one quick thing that I've loved is all my female friends have given me stuff since. Oh my God, you're like the go-to, like, oh, I don't want this. Here's a bag of clothes I was going to throw out. I'll just give them to Brenda.

Honestly, honestly, right? Like, don't know me wrong. Yeah. It's, and I tell you what, the best thing has been the makeup. because it's, I've ended up actually only maybe buying half the makeup that I am currently just because people will throw eye shadow palettes like you like, they're nothing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have three of them now.

And I have this denim dress I absolutely love. The negative of it has been, though, that my wife has stolen a couple of my things. Hilaria, yeah, yeah. She, I bought this leather jacket that I fell in. love with and I treated myself too and I wore it maybe twice and then she asked to borrow one day and I was like okay and then she came in and she was she looked herself in the mirror she was like I look right don't her I was like yeah it does look good on you not and she was like can I keep it and I sort of yeah because because because I had to agree like it does look good on you like it was that moment

of uh me like and that that that's the thing normally it the way around, but now I refuse to let her try anything of mine on now. We have our separate clothes like, because I don't want to lose any more clothing of her. To be fair, I have got a couple of tops of her since, but like, yeah. I was just going to say

it must even out because you could also do the same with her. Yeah. It's, it's been like more stuff that she hasn't won for a while and it's like, she'll ask me to try, she'll go, you know, she'll go a photo out and I'll try it and be like, I can

do something with this. So it does even now, but like, yeah, it's, it's that a thing of like, if you do come out to your life or your friends or whatever, there might actually be some positives from it. There might actually be your friends want to go out. One of your friends might

have thought about dressing before and need someone to go out with and you might be that person. Or they'll give you clothing or makeup or whatever. Once again, it's a risk you're taking, but you know, I've just, you know, rolled the dice pretty high, I think, John, of my story.

Yeah, but you, right, but I think that you're just, you're just an example of what, like, if you look at, like I said, I'm a cup half full person. So if I was taking from this episode as a person listening, what I would take from it and what the point would be, the positive point is that, like what I said before, like, if you put something out there, you allow for something to happen that would have no other way of happening unless you, you know, you hit that first domino. You know what I mean? It is like a domino effect. If you don't hit that first one, nothing else could happen.

But when you do, you're here to say that other things could, you know, you don't know what's going to come back at you, but it was more positive than negative. And extra positives that you could have never even imagined. And that space and those things would never have been able to come your way. had you not, you know, hit that first domino, created that space, put out, you know, hit the ball the first time, you know, it's like you just, you started a whole new game. And that's what to me, it is a risk, yes, but I think most of the time you're going to wind up with more positives than you could ever imagine. That's what I believe. But you have to be ready. You were. You had

something that happened in your life that sort of got you to the place where you were very ready to just do it. You're like, fuck it and did it. Everyone comes to that place at a certain time. But I think when you're really coming to your own and you're at one with yourself for whatever reason and you put that out, I think what reflects back is where you're at. And so I think you got back that positive because you were positive about who you were.

And then it came back at you. I think sometimes the problems happen when we do things like that before we're ready, before we have it. figured out, you know, when you're still confused about it. And I think it's way better to wait for that moment when you're clear, because then what it comes back is clarity too. Oh, yeah. I mean, the first thing I'll say is coming out to everyone, we're talking about 18 months worth of work there. You know, it wasn't like on a text. It was, but then the other thing that I'll say that as a quick side note is because I got to know the people around me and because we, a lot of the time,

have very personal conversations with one other anyway. That sort of helped me pick up on things like, oh, okay, one of their friends is getting are okay with that. Oh, they know one of their friends' crosses and they're okay with it. It was a realization of getting to know these people after. And at that point, I'd known some of them nearly 10 years. Right. So it was definitely a point where it comes up naturally on top of making sure there's a security there.

And the other thing I said, you hit the nail on the head earlier when you say it gives you the power back. It gives you almost like the balls back in your court kind of thing. And it's not that I like having the power that would be completely the right. It's not as it's not as seedy as that. It's more that thing of having more self-confidence in myself going, yeah, that's me. Well done. Like, cool. Can we move on now?

Like it's because that's my attitude as well if, you know, when. I saw my friend's main reaction was one or two. It was either cool, fine, I'm good with it, can we move on? And just like nothing had happened or the reaction of, oh my God, that's amazing. Have some makeup, have some clothes, you know. And I can definitely tell that there are some of my friends that are more comfortable with it than others. Yeah. But at the same time, even acceptance is a first step, you know.

And you're fine with that because you're comfortable in who you are. and I think that that's what needs to happen first. Yeah. And I think a lot of people coming out with anything like this, they forget that unfortunately, for better or worse, the people that you're telling are entitled to their reaction and their emotions, no matter how positive or negative it is on you.

Right. Yeah, that's important. Yeah. And it's that thing of, you know, because. You don't want them to judge you by, who you are. So then therefore, how do you turn around and judge them for being where they're at? If they're closed-minded and can't, then if you turn around and call them fucking ignorant assholes, whatever, you're doing the same thing that you don't want being done to you. So you could respect that.

And I think that that's a cool way to look at things and the right way. Yeah, exactly. I think as well, conversation is important. Dialogue's important. It's, it's, if any of my friends was ever. And what's been quite nice actually is because now a couple of my friends have started to have children and stuff is that they've introduced me to their kids as they're growing up with, so that their kids are kind of going to be comfortable with it later on in life. And I think that's awesome. I think that their kids are going to grow up, you know, more open-minded and more relaxed to that sort of thing. So it does pass on. It does echo. I do sort of laugh to my friends who go if you want to use me as your transvestite guinea pig

to kind of, you know, help your kids with that side of stuff. Just let me know. Yeah, educate. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. I think that's important because. And let me tell you, I'm going to tell you why it's important, not for those kids. You know who it's more important for?

For the fucking parents. Because I tell my friends, like, listen, if you don't want to accept certain things, your kids are going to look at you like you're a fucking alien by the time they grow up because all of these kids nowadays are going to be completely open and accepting of everything. So you're going to be the asshole in the relationship if you don't jump on board because the kids are living in a very different world right now. They're going to be fine. They're all going to be accepting of a lot of different things that their parents are in. So to me, it's the older people that need the more of the education to get with it because they're going to be left in the dust because that's where we're all moving to.

And the younger kids are going to be way more open and accepting that I personally think if you're the parent and you're not. not your kid is going to look at you like what's fucking wrong with you so get on board yeah and then also there there are kids out there that are going to struggle with coming out to their parents with whatever well if they're that if then the parent exactly yeah because because one thing that helped me was my mom very early on used me to a friend of hers and he was in a gay couple and he was one the coolest people at the time that i've met you know yeah it was that's definitely echoed through me as well is that I was taught, I was taught that this was all okay, that, you know, it was still difficult for me to come, come out to my mum. Because then it's her telling you it's okay, but then realizing it's okay, I think are two complete different things.

Like it's, but then at that same time, I was definitely at ease with it. And that's why I've sort of, I'm not pushing it on my friends because I wouldn't. But like, what I mean is like, because one of them, sort of go to me when my son's a bit older, would you mind coming over, dressed up and just introducing yourself and just spending a bit of time, just chatting and just,

yeah, sure, why not? Because it's that thing of, if I can do something just by being me and just by going having a cup of tea, because I am British after all, around my friend's place, and all we're doing is gaming or chatting or watching TV, then it shows them that,

A, it's not a sexual, just a sexual thing. I think that's important as well. And B, that it's okay. It's perfectly natural. So then later on in life, they might realize they're gay or whatever.

It then makes their life so much easier, which then, you know, I would be super grateful for that kid and the parent. Yeah. No, and now you're doing that on my show. You know,

the same thing that you're doing when you go to your friend's house and meet those kids you're, you know, talking about your story and being open about it. Here on my show is going to get the word out even more

and help a lot of, other people and I always believe that the right people find my episodes I mean tons of people find my episodes but I also always love when I get like emails from people that it really hits home for certain people and those people will find your episode like I said because it's not so much just about cross-dressing it's a trans and there's a cockle there's so much to it it's going to go out of my regular podcast

I have pictures you already sent me pictures for people to see Brenda if they want on my Patreon people have to go there to see that but I I love how out and proud you are. I love your story. It's super interesting. I love stories that read like a good book. You know, there's a lot to it.

What were you going to say? I honestly thought the reason it took me so long to contact you because I've been listening to the show for a year now. Yeah. Was I was like, I'm too boring. Oh my God. You're so funny. Is that interesting?

That's what a lot of people think. But not wait until you hear your story as a third person. It's not boring at all. It's actually very meaty. And I really like it because I do. do believe it will help other people. I'm always, listen, I know a lot of people show up for the sex stuff, but I actually put out an interesting episode about cheating the other day.

And somebody on YouTube is like, oh, I don't know. The psychology ban cheating. Boring. I don't care. I'm like, well, that's fine if you don't care. But I think the right people will find this episode. And those are the kind of episodes I love the most. I love, I do my show because I like to help people by normalizing things, by showing

examples. I like real life stories. Like I said, I love documentaries. I love biographies. So your story is one of those that I love. I prefer episodes like this because I do believe that people, it will help other people. And ultimately, that's why I do my show

and that's what I love the best. So it's not boring. It was full of all the right things to me that an episode should have in it story. So thank you so much for calling it and sharing it because it was, it's great. And it will help people. No, thank you.

No, thank you, Kathy. and, you know, I'll be definitely listening going on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me know what you think because when you hear your story as a third person, it's such an interesting perspective. You'll get a different perspective of things. You'll realize why you're not boring. Well, thank you for everything, you know,

thank you for the podcast in general. Thanks for having me. I really appreciate it. Thanks for calling in finally. Thanks, Brenda. Yeah. Take care. See you later.

Thank you. Bye. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, It's called Strictly anonymous Confession. Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers is now available, not only in paperback and e-book, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show.

I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang being girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person, and they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person.

And I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like Penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. 17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read.

you could read, you know, one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format. And finally, the audio book is available coming out August 25th, but you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint. Okay. There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me. Okay. I guess. give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other, and that's what you get to do there. You can post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total,

strictly anonymous community, and you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord. It's private, like I said. All you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the e-book, or the paperback. Send it to me at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. That's Strictly Anonymous Podcasts at gmail.com. And I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in. This is the Strictly Anonymous podcast.

Hey, everyone. Thanks so much for tuning in to this week's episode. If you want to follow the show, follow me at Strict Anonymous on Instagram or Twitter that's at Strict Anonymous. If you are on YouTube, make sure to subscribe. I love YouTube as a platform for my show because people comment there. And I try to reply back to every single person who post a comment. So even if you're not listening on YouTube and you want to talk about the show, go to my

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as well as support my show and get these episodes early and ad free, sign up for my Patreon. Patreon.com slash strictly anonymous podcast. That's patreon.com slash strictly anonymous podcast. The link is also in the description below. Thanks so much for listening. Thank you.