Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 602 - Steve was in a Sexless Marriage, Got a Hall Pass and Used it to Live Out his Fantasies

Episode Date: March 1, 2023

Steve was in a sexless marriage, got a hall pass and used is to live out his fantasies and he called in to talk all about it. How and why did the sex in his marriage go south? How how many times were they having sex before they hit rock bottom? And, how did he wind up with a hall pass in a swingers club? Tune in to hear all the details including the power struggle in the bedroom between him and his wife and how that effected their marriage, how and when things hit bottom, how they both thought the other one was having an affair and what he suspected his wife was doing, what they did to get themselves back on track including couples therapy and coming clean about all their gripes, how they also came clean on all their secret fantasies and how that changed the game, the specific fantasies they shared, how and why the fantasy talked made their sex so much better, how she reacted when he told her he was into guys, his one time experience with a trans women when he was younger, how and why his wife gave him a hall pass and the specific details about it, how he recently attended a swingers club in Miami while while his wife was out of town, the couple he met and hooked up with there and exactly what he did with both the husband and the wife,how the wife was squirter and he much he loved that, how and why he hasn’t told his wife yet and what he plans to do about that plus a whole to more. **To see anonymous pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. The Craigslist is definitely like the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Singapore or Thailand. You can't not do it.

The temptation is just too much. Is your real problem? Do your friend know that you're banging her or no? No, he has no idea. And anything goes. The motto of the show, let your freak flag fly. Probably the only good advice I'll ever give you is to rehire. your wips and chain. Here is your host, Kathy.

Hey, welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast with Kathy. If you want to follow the Strictly Anonymous podcast on Instagram or Twitter, follow the show at Strict Anonymous. I'm looking for people with interesting, naughty stories. If you have one, and you want to call in and share it while remaining anonymous, you could go to my website, Strictly Anonymouspodcast.com and click on Be on the Show, or you could send me an email, Strictly Anonymous Podcasts, and at gmail.com or you could go to instagram or twitter you could follow me over there i'm at strict anonymous at strict anonymous over on instagram or twitter if you want to comment on any of these episodes you could go over to my youtube i'm at strict anonymous over there as well you could also

dm me on instagram if you want to be on the show it's at strict anonymous if you're listening on a podcast app make sure to follow my show so you get the episodes just directly in your phone If you have like a naughty confession, you want to just get off your chest, you could call my Confessions Hotline. I changed the voices of the confessions as well. The number is 347, 4203579. That's 347, 4203579. You could call that number 247.

Oh, if you also want to talk to me on the DL, because you have like a problem that you can't talk to anyone else about. But you don't want to be on the show. You don't want to air it out. I offer that. I charge for that, but I do offer that. The link is in the description and all the things I just talked about, like my Instagram, my email, my website is in the description.

Now, today I have on Steve. Now, Steve has an interesting story because I think it's very relatable, married forever, eventually sex went out the window, about to get divorced because of it. Like, things were not good. They like hit rock bottom in their marriage and then decided to work on it. And he talks about what they did and the things that work for them and why it worked. And he gives some really great tips on things that they did to get themselves out of that rut and onto the other side.

It didn't happen overnight. But they did start like fantasy talk with each other. Pillow talk about the hot things that they were into. And eventually after doing that kind of talk with his wife, she kind of gave him like a pass. He's got like a don't ask, don't tell, do whatever the fuck you want. Pass. And he had these fantasies about being with not just other women, but men. And he put that out on the table with her.

She was like, go do your thing, explore, just don't put it in my face. And he did, okay? He recently went to a swingers club in Miami. I called Trapeze and he explains exactly what went down. And let me tell you, he had a lot of effing fun. his wife doesn't know should he tell her like do you tell somebody that says like don't ask don't tell like

just do it but just have fun whatever I don't know it was a little confusing to me at the end because he hasn't told her yet she's traveling she doesn't know he plans on telling her is that the right thing I don't know take it like let me know what you think go over to YouTube and make a comment because I think

people will be talking about this one but he's very relatable I think he's also inspirational because he's was able to work through that very typical hard, bad time place that he was in his marriage. And I think a lot of people either have been there or are there now. So listen to what happened to Steve and how we got out of it. Maybe learn something from him.

So anyway, I'm going to be right back on with Steve. Hi, Steve. Welcome to the strictly anonymous podcast. How are you today? Oh, I'm great. Thank you for having me. No, thank you for coming on. I discovered your podcast, actually just last December.

I was painting a vacation condo, one of the ones we own. And I was like having something in the background. Yeah. And I would Google like relationships. And somehow, through the magic of the internet, you came up. And I just love your insights. Oh, I love that. You also have a real bullshit detection sense.

Yeah. Sometimes it's like too good. I'm sorry, but like I don't like knowing as much as I know, unfortunately. Yeah. No, I've got to ask you something. Yeah. Sounds to me listening to you. I'm in recovery.

Yeah. And I got a hunch you are too, just listening to some of the words. Oh, of course. Absolutely. But did you, I mean, have you never heard me talk about that on my podcast? You probably listen. Well, I've heard you say generically, I don't drink anymore. Oh, no, but I have talked about how, like, I did A for some time and then I stopped.

And then I, and honestly, I have to tell you. after I did my little, I did a PSA rant the other day recently, did like a bonus episode, just me talking. I'm going to start doing more of that kind of stuff on my show besides talking to the people. And one of the first episodes I'm going to post is going to be, I already have the name. It's sex, sabotage, and sobriety. It's going to be my whole quitting drinking story because it's fascinating. It's one of my addiction and getting sober is one of my favorite things to talk about.

So you're going to hear my whole story coming up soon. So yes, you're right, though, to have picked up. All right, yeah. I've been in the club for 38 years. Well, I'm not even, but I'll tell you this, and I will explain it on my episode, what a lot of my friends said to me, because I've been very successful. I've been like 20-something years not trying to being sober. They said, Kathy, the reason why you don't need AA's because you kind of do everything that they teach you to do just like regularly. So I guess it works, whatever they tell you, because my friends that are in there are like, you just do that.

shit all the time. So let's get to you though. Now, you were married for a long time. Still am. You still are. You eventually hit some problems and issues in your relationship. And at some point, you guys, I think, decided to open it. And you've recently been to a swingers club and had some big things and experiences, right? But let me ask you this. Your whole marriage, like, was it pretty vanilla? Were you guys faithful to each other? Because I know that what happened was when things started to kind of go south, you did think she was having a fair. She thought you were having a fair. But what was really going on in your marriage before that?

Okay. When we were dating in the first couple of years of our marriage, sex was powerful. Right. Hell, my wife and I got it on on a picnic table in Bali right at the beach. Everybody's walking there. We were getting ready to go to a party. We were literally walking up the driveway. And I just put her on the hood of the car.

Yeah, the good all days. When the sex is hot in the beginning. And yeah, yeah, we've all been there, done that. Yeah, and after a while, three children came, golds. We're both really driven people. Mm-hmm. And things just simply got, like, check the blocks. We're going to have sex on Wednesday night and Saturday night.

And it just got very predictable. And that was okay for the longest time. because it was good. You know, we were, as far as I know, both monogamous. And it went on for many, many years. I mean, and probably, I guess we're getting into our mid-50s. I'm three years older than her. And things are really starting to just go south.

You know, twice a week was becoming once a month. Yeah. And it became a real power stroke. And, you know, I've come to realize I own at least half of this. Yeah, I love that. I like that. I prefer to talk to people when they're on the other side and they could really see their part in it and the big picture because then it maybe will help someone who's in the middle of it.

Because it's hard to see those kind of things when you're in it, right? I'm sure at that time you were just looking at it's like, what the fuck is wrong with her? But now upon reflection, you could see it in a totally different way. so it's great when I'm talking to somebody at that place because exactly yeah there were a couple of things going on one one of the things so you know you got two of us who who want to excel at what we do yeah we're just driven and when you have people that competitive in the same marriage is going to be clashes yeah I'm so I am very competitive I understand the guys can't fucking stand my comp like how competitive I am so you got that going on and

she was she really at that point started being haunted by demons of her youth she had uh now this i i won't tell much of her story but she'd been sexually abused and honestly i didn't know what she'd you know i mean she had disclosed it to me long before we were married and it's one of those things that can surface in later life yeah i think that sometimes that's when it does it's it's more likely to happen then than in the middle of things absolutely absolutely i think that's common and unfortunate. And the unfortunate thing, too, is I think the statistic, and I'm sure it's even more than this, it's like one in every four women or men, like, have been sexually assaulted.

It's not that uncommon, unfortunately. It's horrible. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. So we were really starting to go downhill and disconnect. And, you know, by this time, the children are out of the house. And now it's like, holy crap. you know one time a month that's probably become now two times a year i don't know

well it was i think she kept it just above 12 times a year because that was the bench line for sexless but it became also became duty sex and and to me talk about like that was just getting me pissed off but to me that was just malicious so we we really hit bottom about five or six years ago and she was at a conference and she would it seemed whenever she had to go away she would take the last possible flight home so that's either one or two things she's having an affair or it's avoidance or both right or both so this time we'd been apart for a couple of weeks i had i had bought her this unique necklace. And I put it on the night table. So I pick her up at the airport and I can see she is just spoiling for a fight. Like the embrace is like nothing. And, uh, and, you know, I'm convinced

she, she was having an emotional affair. Uh-huh. Because she did have a colleague who was always at these things and and she would always mention him you know and of course i'm sure it was all in my mind because you know i'm probably half a nut job anyway but it was just bothering me so we get home and i'm thinking okay she's going to see the necklace that she left and she said what is this a quid pro quo oh like you might as well just say fuck you I would be able to handle that better. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like, you've got to be shitting.

So, I mean, we had quite a firefight that night. And a couple of weeks later, it's like, okay, I remember I had written down a whole bunch of things I wanted to talk to her about. And unbeknown to me, she had a bunch of things she wanted to talk to me about. and a lot of them were the same thing. The first one, it was for both of us, was, are you having an affair? Wow. She was even thinking the same of you.

Right. Were you? No, although I will say, I did hook up with a former love at one time a couple of weeks before then. What do you mean no? The answer then would be, yeah. Okay, but all right, it was a one and out.

Okay, but that fucking counts. Oh, my God. Okay, all right. Oh, my God. Everybody's the way that everyone thinks things in their brain is so interesting to me. That doesn't count. I mean, did you fuck the lady? Yes. Okay.

Yes. Okay. So the answer is yes. I'm going to ask the question again. Let's try this again. So had you cheated on her? Yes. Okay.

Yes, that one and out. Okay. Just one time. One time thing. So there was that. You know, just this estrangement we were having. But you were talking about like you guys both had all these things on a list that you wanted to talk about. And the first thing was that you cheat.

And then most of the things though, you guys were both like feeling were the same things is what you were saying? Yes, it was incredible. Yeah. I was feeling like she just didn't give a shit about me. And she was feeling really ignored. Yeah. And isn't that interesting? Yeah.

And the fallout of all this, that was a couple of them. You know, the fallout, some of them had obvious solutions. We were both working about 70 hours a week. And in about a two-year period after that, we broke it down. So we're both working about 35 hours a week. Oh, wow. Okay. Was that one of the solutions, like they spend more time together?

Yes. And that was an easy one. But the other disconnects became, you know, whatever you touch me, I take it that you want sex. And, you know, that's a yes and no answer. Oh, my God, I just wanted, could I just interject one time? I know exactly where we are, but it was, I was just having this conversation with a girlfriend of mine before because she was thinking of me going on hormone pellets. And she says she never, she's fine when her husband initiates and she's cool to have sex. but she never initiates.

And I'm like, but that's what I hear all the time. And like what's so important for women to know, because I think a lot of times women think, like the guy always initiating, he's just seeing her as a sex object. But what they don't understand is that it's so much more than sex for a man. It's being wanted and it's being desired. And it's being in,

and it's the intimacy in a relationship. And if you never ever give him the feeling that you want to fucking bone him or you want him back. I mean, that starts to feel like he's not wanted. It's not just about the sex. I feel like I'm the guy who's, you know, bringing home the paycheck, throwing it on a table, and that's all. Well, that's, well, and that's the problem. Like, that's what me and my girlfriend were talking about because she was saying,

if I went this way for 10 more years and my husband had an affair, I would understand. I said, but that's what, and that's how it happens. It's a lot of times even the most, you know, monogamous person. might cheat after all of that. And because if there's a woman in the office that is giving him that attention and that validation and making him feel wanted, and you haven't for the past 10 years, and vice versa. You know what I mean? I'm sure you could see what she was complaining about that you weren't doing because it happens

right, both ways. Oh, yeah, it was a mirror held in front of me too. Yeah, right? The woman is not being heard either. She's coming home from work and you're not talking to her. You're not listening to what happened during her day. Maybe that coworker was. And that's...

You know, getting into, that becomes like in the Susan Bratton thing for the small offers type of thing. Anyway, so, you know, we got through that conversation. So, you know, the easy part was, although it takes a while, it just can't, like, drop commitments and work. But over a two-year period, I mean, we cut it in half. I thought that was pretty good. And we agreed on marriage counseling. Okay. And we were really lucky.

because honestly we got the most shit-hot therapist I could imagine. And she, you know, so you figure by this time we're both in our late, in our 50s. And she was about the same age. And she saw us as couples, as a couple, and then both of us as individuals. Oh, interesting. You know, had a really good rapport with her. And I think we both made some really positive movement there, you know. working things out. The other thing was we started talking about fantasies more.

And it was it was pillow talk after sex. And that was really neat. And we had had some really cool sex. We had never really opened it up. There were a couple opportunities when we were. younger and they just didn't pan out. But as we were starting to talk about fantasies, the sex was getting better. And by better, I really mean just more involved. It was like, oh, cool, she's there. It's not just like some duty thing. I've got to check the block for once a month. Yeah. And I'll play along. And we started to explore some fantasies. And obviously, the exhibitionist one, I've got a longstanding history of that. that believe me every girlfriend i ever had we got it on somewhere outside so we you know we started getting there and uh you know i have a fantasy about sucking a dick i mean i don't you know i can't

say i'm by it's not really about the guy yeah interesting yeah i do remember vaguely in new York. And again, alcohol plays a story in this one. It was about six in the morning and I was blasted. And I was coming out of some apartment and somebody asked me what I was doing. Wound up, it was a trans person. And, you know, I tried it. It was kind of cool. But I was honestly, I was too drunk to really know what was going on. But you did blow. You did blow. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And I didn't die. I didn't turn trans. I didn't turn gay. So, you know, But did you remember, did you ever reflect back on that? Is that how you knew that you kind of had that fantasy?

Because maybe sometimes you think about that and like jerk off to it or something. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah. Yeah, exactly. Okay. So, you know, that was one. And you would share that with her? Yeah.

Yeah, that's great. Yeah. So it was cool. But she would share a partner she had. You know, another one, another fantasy, there's a couple of them that we shared. One is that one of the things she really likes about me is that she said we can go to a party and you and we don't have to be next to each other. Some couples are like glued to each other.

Totally. She said, I can talk to people and not have to worry about you. And I can see you talking to people and not have to worry. And she said, I've always really loved that about you. One of the fantasies that I shared with her is that I'd love. love to have lost track with you at a party and then find you upstairs or something getting fucked and we just have some great sex after that. Another one, and this is kind of cool, it's like, you know, her and her girlfriend go out on

a girl's night out and they've had a little too much to drink so they don't want to get a DUI so these three or four guys take them home and while myself and one of the other guys leaves to get the car, they're getting it on with these guys. And then, of course, we get back and join in. And it's, it's kind of cool. And there's, there's cream pies in it. And I get to check it out and all of that. And it's, it's just really hot. My favorite one is, is her and myself in a trans person in a hot tub. Oh, okay. And that is just like, we, we both get it on with her and then her and I with each other. So, uh, so as, you know, so as we're moving. along this journey. Let me ask you a quick question because I think the biggest fear of other couples

who are listening or guys listening and thinking, oh, I would love to go take my hot fantasies, all these dark kinks that I have and tell my wife, is that she would be like, ew, that's gross or what the fuck? I mean, was your wife really open to everything that you were saying? Were you afraid at first of how she would react and were you surprised by how she did react or was she always just super open-minded? She's always been open-minded, but my own fears and misgivings kept me from doing that for a while. Right. So this is on me, not on her.

No, so other guys listening, if they have that fear, I mean, you had that too going in. But you were just, if things were so bad that it was like, it just, it's like if the. It's the gift of desperation, Kathy. That's what I mean. Like, it's, why not try it? Because if not, we're ending anyway kind of thing, right? Absolutely. Yeah.

Absolutely. This is the gift of desperation. Yeah. And other other things came into that. I'll mention it in a little bit. But initially bringing up the fantasies, it's like, why not? What am I waiting for? Yeah. And she was cool about them. She didn't want to, you know, open anything up yet, nor did I. But, you know, we would play around and she would definitely, she'd have a toy and she'd play with it. And she'd say, get down here and suck this off. So it was really hot. Yeah. I mean, it was absolutely hot. And as we're getting into, actually relatively recently, I lost two friends in the past 18 months. So it's starting to get that idea I'm not around, going to be around forever.

Now, I'm a marathon runner, so I can still bring it. I'm physically in condition. But, you know, it's like, God, these guys are dead. And I'm in the fourth quarter, no timeouts, right? Yeah, totally. So we got to keep moving on this. The other thing, and this is such a positive thing, is a month ago, we became grandparents.

Oh, for the first time. First time. It's like, I am so stoked. In fact, I haven't seen my wife since New Year's Day because she's, in her world, what's called Residencies or Big Deals. Uh-huh. And she's been a bit of. away for three months on one. I'm not going to see her until mid-March when I'm going to pick her up

and we're going to go see the baby. So I mean, I'm stoked for two reasons. I get to see her. They get to see a grandchild. Yeah. But, you know, that's another thing. It's like old people have grandchildren. I know it's not true. But it really started changing my thinking that the deaths really started that. And over the last year, she's became pretty tolerant that she more or less has said, I don't mind what you do as long as it's not in my face or at home. Feel free to explore yourself. Oh, wow. So I was just a couple of weeks ago.

I was in Miami. me, I had to go to a conference. And I said, what the hell? Go, you know, one of the things, in fact, it was one of the talks we were having. And it was about doing nothing in our lives is no longer an option. Yeah. Lose the fear. So, and that had to do with embracing life, in my opinion, not fear of death.

I think people have fear of living more than anything else. So I'm down there in Miami, no adult supervision. And I don't know, am I allowed to mention the club? For sure, yeah, why not? Okay. So there's this club in Fort Lauderdale called Trapeze. Everything is on the website. So it was a Thursday night and it was so single men were allowed Thursday, Thursday, and Sunday.

Uh-huh. Or something like that, at least three or four days. and Thursday night was the theme was wear your man's shirt and the women if they wanted could dress up in like a guy's shirt and so what the hell let me go so I get there and and the place opened at eight I figured let me get there a little later it's probably around 930 was still kind of empty but it started fill it started filling up and I was just walking around getting the lay of the land and To go in the back, you had to strip down and either be naked or in a towel. So, okay, I put my clothes in. I had my little towel on, being kind of modest. And I go in the back. And I'm just sort of walking around there.

There's this guy in his, I later found his wife, you know, getting it on. And I just kind of sat down and was just sitting there. And the guy waved me over. I go, this is too good to be true. So I went over there and she was sucking them off. And I was just sort of caressing her shoulders, really. And he said, do you want to help her? And sure.

So she just sort of put his dick right in my mouth. And we were sucking them together. And I guess she wanted to see what I was made of. So she slid down. and started sucking me off. And at that point, I just started going down on him. And the guy was great. He said, honey, he's sucking my dick.

And he's like moving his hips up and down. It was really, it was really funny, actually. We all started laughing, which in my opinion is when you know you're having good sex, when you can take a break to laugh. Yeah. And I started fucking. her and she was a squirder. Oh, my God, I'd never been with a squirder.

And we were straight missionary. And all of a sudden, I swear, I felt like I was in this puddle of water. It was incredible. Holy shit. And she's going, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Is that okay? It's wonderful.

Please, don't be sorry. I'm really happy that you're feeling this. Yeah. And one of the coolest things I ever saw was he was holding her hand and kissing her, asking her, is this all good, are you enjoying it? And it wasn't from like an exhibitionist type of thing. I'm sure he was getting off on it. I mean, I was. But it was really like a very loving gesture.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that was just awesome. Yeah. And I'm not kidding you. We just seem to do it forever. And I'll bet you she squirted at least six times. We actually took a break, went out to get a drink, and then went back in there. And then she got it on with one other guy.

We each held one of her hands. And another guy did her. And that was kind of cool. And then like her husband went off. and her and I got on a little more. And eventually, I made my way back out to the front. And by that time, the place was really filling up. Actually, at one point, when we took a break to get a drink of water,

we did all get out to the front. And at this point, the exhibitionist in me is really in full gear. And I said, we are going to fuck on the dance floor, which we did. And it was great. I mean, we didn't dance much yet. had to hold on to the railings. But, you know, so after we had finished by that time, I'm out there. And I went to the bar to get another drink of water.

And there was a woman sitting there. And she was wearing like the guy's shirt, but not really. It was a white shirt. It was hers. And I just said, you're gorgeous. And she said, do you like my breast? I said, yeah. So she said, she said, she said,

she unbuttoned her shirt and she said well why don't you caressed them and she was really getting off on me caressing her breasts while she was talking to other people oh interesting so she's not even looking at you she's not even looking at me i'm literally in back of her now being that me being who i am i did take an ice cube out of my drink and kind of put it between her breasts on her nipples, but she really maintained herself and kept a straight face. But I'm sure she was getting off on it because, I mean, she was literally just talking to a different guy and a woman. Yeah. And while I was doing that, and it was really a blast. I mean, and she said, I want to enjoy my drinks for a little while, but maybe we can meet up in the back later. You know, by this time it's like two in the

morning. I'm shot and I need to get out of there. And I just finished showering. And this young woman is walking in there into the shower. It's like a communal shower. So there were about five showers, but, you know, all in one area, not partitioned. And she's kind of like five-inch heels. And she said, do you think I should wear my heels in here? Gap's just going to ask if she was. I said, are you insane? You've got to kill yourself. So she said, do you mind holding on to me while I take these heels off? You know, like my sense of the absurd was just kicking it. I said, this is just wonderful. I'm holding on to this. Naked. Yeah, naked chick while she's taking her heels off so she can shower. And of course, neither of us know each other. Yeah. It was really just a neat thing. We talked a little while.

while and then we went our ways one of the things this comes to my sense of the absurd you know they have a dress code for this place what do you mean you had to wear a shirt with a collar i mean the shirt that you're barely going to wear you had to wear it just to walk in yeah the gentlemen are expected to be in a shirt and a cop with a collar hilarious yeah exactly i mean okay so you find it absurd too it's not stupid too i don't know i mean that i don't understand what's the point yeah but anyway You talk about the peak experiences. I mean, the sex was over the mountain. It was great.

But I'll tell you what was really cool, in my opinion, was the guy holding his wife's hand. It was like a beautiful sense of innocence. Let me ask you a question. Because you just had that one experience, correct? I mean, it sounds like a hot experience. I'm not taking that way. Oh, yeah, I hit the jackpot there, yeah.

Yeah, but let me ask you this. Did your wife know that you went to the Swingers Club? No, because we haven't gotten back together yet. Right, but I'm assuming you talked to her. What I was wondering... I talked to her a lot, yeah. Yeah, yeah. What I was wondering, like, when you were about to go there,

did you tell her, oh, I just want to let you know I'm going? She just said, do what you want. Right. It's like a don't ask, don't tell, but I intend to tell her face to face. That's not a conversation for the phone, in my opinion. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But no, I was just curious because I knew when you were saying, oh, I went to a swinger's scuba, I wanted to, I didn't want to interrupt you, but I was wondering, did you tell your wife? I know that she had said, like, listen, you could go explore and do your thing.

Just don't put it in my face. So are you, that's my question. So then since she doesn't know and you haven't seen her yet, do you plan to tell her or do you don't? Yes. What do you do in that kind of situation? Oh, I plan to tell her. Okay. Yes.

Are you hoping that telling her, like maybe she would join you in that. lifestyle with you? What do you think? Goddammy, Kathy, you read my mind. Okay. Because that's where I am now. Yeah. The, this is going to sound a little bit off the track, but it's important. About a month ago, my goddaughter came to visit me, and she's going to be 35, and she just broke up with a guy she thought she was going to marry. And she was really bummed. And I have a daughter and two goddaughters who i assure you keep my life busy because they are always calling with some sort of shit show they get involved in especially my daughter and the younger goddaughter

this one's the older one she's she's really got her feet on the ground she's got a great career she's good looking wonderful personality and i was talking to her about what happened and she said they were going to get engaged but he said you have to leave your job because her job takes her different places, so I need you home. And so I started talking to her and I said, here's the situation with you. You're what I would call a high value woman. You've got a career.

You've got a great personality. You've got looks. You know how to treat people. You've got opinions and you're good at stuff. Yeah. And I said, a guy who's going to be in a long-term relationship with you needs to be really secure about who he is. He's got to know himself and he's got to be good with it because you're going to do some stuff better than him. Right. And then I said, holy fuck, I have just been talking

about my wife. Wow. Yeah, that is interesting. So, you know, a couple of months ago, in fact, of your podcast, I really enjoyed Susan Bratton's interview. Yeah, she's great, right? Oh, my God. Yeah, and I had gotten one of her books, I think it's a sexual soulmates one. And I've been really going through that because this is what I call the way ahead. And the way ahead is we both agree that we want to grow older together. We both are lucky enough. We have the financial wherewithal to not work and travel. I work because I want to work right now.

So that's what we want. We want a sex life. At this point, still the different degrees. We're not really in sync with that yet, but we're certainly a lot closer than we have been. And Susan's book is outstanding about this notion. She said, intimacy is what keeps a marriage alive. And, oh, my God, it's like that blinding flash of the obvious. And she talks about verbal appreciation.

My wife is very verbal. That's the way to her heart. If you write her a card, you've won her heart. And she talks about small offers. And that's where a guy like me has got to channel it back. It's like small offers. Okay, can I fuck you on this bench in the park so everybody looks? Okay.

So I got to meet her where she is. And the cool part is when I do that, she meets me where I am. And you know, the day before she left, of course, we had. sex. And, you know, Bradenheim makes a point in one of the books. She talks about being there, not necessarily performing. And I put my dick about halfway in her and just stopped. And so I've been doing my yoga plank so I can be in shape to do that. And I just stopped. And I placed myself so I could put my chest on hers and we could actually feel each other's heartbeats and you want to talk about an erotic moment it was she literally was just lifting her pussy up to get me all in and it sounds like nothing but it was absolutely

mind-blowing just to be in that physical synchronization of your hearts beating together it was just awesome and it's like, holy shit, if this is a taste of the reality, keep going. So that's really kind of what we're looking at there. I had asked you, okay, like, do you want to bring her into the lifestyle? And you said that's where you want to go. I mean, how do you go to a swingers club and have that whole experience and then that's a one and done? Or like, what do you see for your future?

What I see for my future in the immediate is to meet her where she is. and continue along the path. I think if she's going to do something like that, it's going to be, it's going to play out one or two ways. If it's going to be to swap with somebody, and I think she's always been interested in a woman, so it'd be neat if she got to try that. It will definitely have to be in a small setting. So I'm not sure a swingers club would be the appropriate venue for that.

Now, if she wanted to indulge me in my exhibitionism, she would go to a swingers club and it'd probably just be with me or maybe two couples in the same area. That's what I see in the short term. But I also see a resurgence of her sexuality. And that, to me, is going to be honestly a play-by-year thing. I mean, what I would dearly like for Christmas is for her to say, hey, this is what I want to do and take it from there. Well, did you, like, she gave you kind of a free pass.

did you give her one? Yes, but I'm going to mention that again, too. And we're going to flesh that out and talk more about that. Yeah. Well, I think maybe, you know, the conversation will probably open up into new uncharted territory when you tell her that you did go to that swingers club and you did have sex with a couple. Well, exactly. That's why I want to pick your brain at this point.

Yeah. What are you going to say? I want to pick your brain at this point. Yeah. Because I think, I think really, because we had been in a power struggle so long about sex, I've really learned that, and I know that our program's going to come up, give it away to keep it, surrender to win, those type of things. But that type of philosophy where where do you want to be, what are you comfortable with today,

and then just take it one event or step at a time. I do believe she would be willing to walk down that path. You know, one of the cool things about her is she's comfortable with her body. And she's not the 120 pounds when I met like when I met her, but she's attractive. Yeah. And, and, but women, unfortunately, get a lot of baggage, right? The media bombards them, right? If you're not 26 years old with stand-up tits and whatever, you've missed the boat.

And that's changing. I think there's a greater appreciation that we have about that. But she's comfortable with her body. I mean, hell, we used to go to the spas in Germany. All the beaches there, of course, are topless or nude. So she would never have a problem with that. So I don't necessarily see this as a problem. I think it's just getting her there on her pace.

Right. But do you think that she will have any kind of, because like I wonder when a woman says, you're free to explore, go do your thing, I just don't want it in my face. Does she want to know that you had sex with another couple and blew a guy and fucked his wife? Or does she not want to know?

Well, that's what I'm trying to figure out too. And that's where I think that's a little like the last thing you want is for her to be like, I don't know, like maybe she doesn't want to know. Yeah, yeah, that's a good point. And that's something I think I need to really mull over a little more. And I think I can get a feel for that by just talking about that under the umbrella of fantasy for a while. Yeah, because I don't know. It might be dropping a bit too much on her. Well, yeah, because now she knows you had this experience and she can't get out of her head.

for if somebody that says you could explore do what you want, but don't do it in my face. And did she say, I don't want to know about it? No. She just said, you know, she said, go ahead and explore what you want to do. I have no problem with that. I think we're exact words. And it wasn't even in regard to this trip. No, of course.

It was just like in your life, wherever, right. But I mean, did she say, but don't, what was that little part where she said something like, but don't do it in my face or something? Yeah, don't, like, don't put it in. my face and I'm not sure if those were exact words I think really the the intent of what she was saying is I I don't need to know every detail type of thing right and I just think sometimes with someone that if they say that maybe they it's because knowing the details would make them maybe feel not okay with it so I don't know it's like a slippery slope with whether you I really want to know

what happens when you tell her when is she coming back from her thing wherever Well, I'll see her in two weeks. Oh, two weeks. Actually, yeah, because I got to pick her up in Cincinnati. Yeah. I don't need the details, but wait a second. So two weeks you're going to see her. Maybe I'm going to hold on to this episode.

I want to see what you say to her and how she reacts. I don't know. It's interesting. Yeah, like I said, we're going to have about, it looks like we're going to have about eight days together. So this might be like a quick visit. days, but are you planning, though, to tell her for sure, right? You are planning to tell her. I am planning eventually to tell her.

I am going to bring it up, though, first as the fantasy and take it the next step. Like, what would you think if I did that? Right. Treat it as a hypothetical first. Yeah, yeah. What I like about your story, Steve, is I think a lot of people will be able to relate to all the issues you are having with your wife. I think it's interesting how you work through them.

I think you gave some interesting tips that helped you guys get over that pomp and in a good place. And I think you told a really hot story about what happened at the Swingers Club. And it's, you know, it's an interesting journey that you've been on. And thanks so much for calling it and sharing it. Oh, thank you. At the end of the day, my own fears were my enemy. Right. And that was really it.

And really come to realize the fear was about living more than anything. anything else. And you really fucking lived your life that night in that Trapeze, Club Trapeze. Well, I've had a pretty good life before then, too. Yeah, but I mean, you know, I mean, what you're talking about is, like, you had a fear of really putting out

all your fantasies and all the stuff that you wanted to do sexually on the table. And you did do that after you were faced with the fact of, like, you're not going to be around forever. You might as little live life, right? Carpe DM, whatever. So, anyway, thank you, Steve.

Thank you so much for calling in and sharing your story. I think it's inspirational. All right. Thank you for your time, Kathy. I really appreciate it. All right. Thanks, Steve. Bye.

Bye. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly anonymous confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available not only in paperback and ebook, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order.

it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang being girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person. And they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person. And I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like Penthouse. letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. 17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book.

It's available in eback format, paperback format, and finally, the audiobook is available coming out August 25th. But you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it. order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint. Okay. There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me. Okay. I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other. And that's what you get to do there. You can post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total, strictly anonymous community and you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my

Discord. It's private, like I said. All you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook or the paperback. Send it to me at strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. That's strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. And I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in. This is the Strickley Anonymous podcast. Hey, everyone. Thanks so much for tuning in to this week's episode. If you want to follow the show, follow me at Strict Anonymous on Instagram or Twitter.

That's at Strict Anonymous. If you are on YouTube, make sure to subscribe. I love YouTube as a platform for my show because people comment there. And I try to reply back to every single person who post. to comment. So even if you're not listening on YouTube and you want to talk about the show, go to my YouTube channel, subscribe, like, and share my videos. It's strictly anonymous podcast. If you want to sign up for my Patreon, on my Patreon, you are not only supporting my show, but you will get these episodes early, ad free, and you get to see anonymous picks of my guests.

Most of the girls send in anonymous picks, and some of the guys send an anonymous picks. So if you want to see anonymous picks of my guests, as well as support my show and get these episodes early and ad free, sign up for my Patreon. Patreon.com slash strictly anonymous podcast. That's patreon.com slash strictly anonymous podcast. The link is also in the description below. Thanks so much for listening.