Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 630 - Sienna FullyTransitioned and She Couldn't be Happier

Episode Date: May 5, 2023

Sienna fully transitioned at seventeen and she couldn't be happier and she called in to talk all about it. When did she realize she wanted to transition? When did she tell her parents about it? And, how did they react? Tune in to hear all the details including the gender dysphoria she experienced at a very young age, the revulsion she felt towards anything male, including her genitalia and how that a made her feel, the trauma she encountered around the clothing and haircuts she was forced into as a child, how she she only liked girl stuff and the gender envy she had from a very young age, how the religious beliefs she was raised with made her afraid of who she was and how she felt, how she knew she liked boys early on, how she became suicidal and how social media helped her come out, how her parents reacted when she told them she was transitioning, how she tried to help her parents transition with her but why they wouldn’t, the abuse she took from them but why and how she still moved forward with her transition, the process she had to go through to gain access to hormone therapy, how and why her physical transition was fast and easy, how she feels about other children feeling trans early on, how and why she documenting everything on Tik Tok, her bottom surgery and how that whole process went, her sex life now and how her she experiences orgasms since her surgery, how she likes to label herself now, how and why she used to keep being trans a secret but why she doesn’t anymore, how and why she kept being a trans a secret when she first started stripping and dating guys, how guys reacted when they would find out she is trans, how and why she is now is always honest about it plus a whole lot more. You can find her Onlyfans here: https://linktr.ee/siennakatharios **To see anonymous pics of my other female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the strictly anonymous podcast. Strictly anonymous podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. The Craigslist is definitely like the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Sanoport or Thailand. You can't not do it.

The temptation is just too much. It's real problems. Your friend know that you're banging her or no. No, he has no idea. And anything goes. The motto of the show, let your freak flag fly. Probably the only good advice I'll ever give you is to rehire. your whips and chain. Here is your host, Kathy.

Hey, welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast with Kathy. If you want to follow the strictly anonymous podcast on Instagram or Twitter, follow the show at Strict Anonymous. If you want to be on the show, this is called strictly anonymous because people remain anonymous because I change everybody's voices. I change everybody's names. You could call me from a phony number and phony email. I just want to hear your true story. If you want to be on the show, go to to Strictly Anonymous Podcast.com and click on Beyond the Show. If you want to call in and just leave like a naughty confession, I have a confessions hotline.

That number is 347, 4203579. It's 347, 4203579. Now, if you want to see anonymous picks of all of my guests, plus naughty picks of my guests, I have a Discord channel now on my Patreon. You should sign up for my Patreon because, There's a lot of stuff going on there. You see anonymous picks of mostly all of my guests are rated, sexy stuff.

All the girls send in picks. And then I have a Discord channel attached that people are going on and posting stuff themselves. And it's a little bit more X rated on there. So if you're interested in joining my Patreon, there's a lot of extra stuff over there going down. It's only $5 a month you could cancel at any time. It's patreon.com slash strictly anonymous podcast. The links to everything and all the information I just gave you. also in the description. Now, today I have on Sienna. Now, when Sienna DM'd me on

Instagram, she, like, loved me a voice message and was like, my friend's telling me I should be on your show that I'll give you a crazy, you know, story. My life's so crazy. And I looked at her pictures, and I'm like, okay, she looks like she's a stripper. She's very crevacious. She's hot. She looks super young. I'm like, okay, do you think you could fill up an hour? She's like, yeah. And then, you know, when it came close to the time that we're going to talk, I was like, oh, no, like, what if this girl does nothing to talk about? Like I should make sure, you know? And I'm like, can you just give me like some bullets?

And she's like, oh, yeah, I happen to be trans and I transitioned and I have surgery. And I'm like, what the fuck? Like, because listen, when you see Sienna's Instagram and see the pictures that I saw, I mean, and she's fully transitioned. She had bottom surgery. But you cannot tell that she's trans. I can. And I guess it's because she is fully transitioned.

But I had no clue. And she was like, oh, yeah, not only in my trans, I fucked a lot of guys and didn't tell them and I'm like, oh my God, this is going to be a crazy story. But it's actually, and it is kind of crazy, but it's super interesting as well, because Sienna is here to tell her transition story. She was born a male. She never felt like a guy. One of her earliest memories was of trying to cut her penis off. Like as a very young kid, she didn't understand what that was there for. She always wanted to be a female. She knew who she was going to be when she was a grown up. And it wasn't. a dude. It was like a woman with a baby. Her parents were very against her wanting to be a female

early on when she expressed herself and her feminine side. They were very against it, especially her mother. She dealt with a lot of trauma in her family. Eventually, I think she was around 17. She started to go on hormone. She did all of this, even though she was facing losing her family and stuff. Her mother was very abusive. They're not accepting of her lifestyle. Also her religion. She's Greek Orthodox. They were very against it. So she was up against a lot. But she never diverted from her plan, even though, you know, it was very difficult for her. She did eventually at 17 go on hormones. She changed and transitioned very fast. She said like literally like in a week of taking her estrogen, She was growing boobs, you know.

So the hormones worked. And then she got bottom surgery. And she talks all about that, about her orgasms and how it all works now. And then she eventually did start dancing. And, you know, she has gone through phases where she hasn't told partners that she is a trans woman. So she's fucked some guys and told them after her. She talks about how they reacted. She talks about why she doesn't do that anymore.

And she does put it out there now. from day one. She did start in OnlyFans. She has that. She gives that out at the end. I will put the link, her link tree, in the description. She's also documented her whole transition over on TikTok. That was like her savior at a certain time because she had no one else to talk to.

She was very alone. So you're going to want to see her. I get her to give out her Instagram early on because I think you want to see how she looks while she's talking right off the bat. So her Instagram is Sienna Cotharius. S-I-E-N-N-A-K-A-T-H-A-R-I-O-S. The link is in the description.

Click on it, look her up. You're going to want to see her. She looks fucking good. She sounds like Kim Kardashian, okay, like all the other young girls. But anyway, you're going to find her story super interesting. I'm going to be right back on with Sienna.

Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast. How are you, Sienna? I'm good. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. I am so excited to talk to you. Honestly, I wanted to come here and I was like, oh my God, my friend told me about it and I was like, it's going to be interesting. Oh, it's going to be fucking interesting because A, I was telling you while we were like trying to get the sound right. I'm like you said exactly like Kim Kardashian. It is this really interesting thing that all you young people in this generation that watch the Kardashians, you all talk exactly like her.

but I have to say, I like dig it. Anyway, this is what's fascinating about you. The fact that, not the fact that you sound exactly like Kim Kardashian, because everybody in your age range does. It's the fact that you found me on Instagram, right? And you just text me like, oh, my God, my friend's like, no, you didn't even text me. You, like, send me voice messages. Like, oh, my God, my friend telling me I got to come on your show, like, hilarious.

I'm going to be like, I have a crazy life. And I'm like, what's so crazy? Like, you look like, you know, maybe you're a stripper, you're a dancer. You know, I saw your picture straight up. You got the big booty like Kim Kardashian. You got all that shit going down. And then you're like, oh, don't worry. I could fill it up.

And then I'm like, give me some details. And you were like, oh, yeah, I happen to be transgender. And most of these guys don't fucking know. And you have a whole story. And let me tell you, I would have never guessed that or knew that you were trans from seeing your pictures on Instagram. no fucking way. So I get how you are pulling the wool off over so many people's eyes, right?

I mean, you don't have to tell people. No, exactly. That's the thing what people don't understand. I think it's just like they don't get that like at the end of the girl. Yes, I had a more complicated story, but it is very controversial, especially in the U.S. right now. I'm Canadian, so at least we have that going on. But in the U.S., that's all people seem to talk about in politics.

And it's literally hurting my brain. I had a phase in my life where I was like, I'm not going to tell anybody. But the thing is from the beginning of my transition, I started documenting it on TikTok. Oh, you did? Did you get a big following? Yeah. It's like, I live in Montreal and it's kind of like people kind of know me. Like I walked on the street.

They're like, are you seen her from TikTok? That's the funniest thing ever. Oh, I love that. You know who I was supposed to have on is Buck Angel. You know Buck Angel, right? Oh, my God. Jesus Christ. Yeah.

Yeah. Not the most positive voice, but like. Yeah, it's controversial, right? I thought it's like a very extreme side of things. But what I love about you is like you are, I'm going to give out your Instagram right now because I want people to fucking see you while you're talking and get the picture now, right? Because they really have to see. Like you really just, you look like a female. I though really want to.

You are a female, right? You transition fully, correct? Fully. Custom Funani and everything. Oh my God. I love it. All right. So you are Siena.

Catharius. You're Greek? There we go. I'm Greek 100% from what I'm aware of. Okay, good. All right. So Sienna, C-S-I-E-N-N-A-K-H-A-R-I-O-S. So I want your whole fucking story, Sienna. I want it from, you know, when you were really younger and felt like you were a woman and then, you know, how you came out to your parents, how you transitioned, all of it. You're going to, like, be mind-blown.

No, I know. And then I want the story of you like stripping now and like being with these guys and they have no idea. Like that's a whole other story. So tell the whole other story. Yeah, but I need to get it all. So tell me the beginning. Exactly. You need the context first. Yeah. The thing is I growing up, I, well, being Greek, it's very conservative usually in the community. Plus in Montreal, the Greek community is very once again, traditional conservative. Basically, my parents, they, they, brought me up extremely, extremely traditionally. Right. So the Greek presence was heavy in my life. And growing up, I was, I have two brothers. I have a twin brother. We're fraternal twins. But it's kind of crazy because people were always like, oh, you guys look nothing alike.

You sound nothing alike. You're just nothing alike. You're completely two different people. How are you twins? And it was the funniest thing ever. And we were already so different now. It's like you look at us. And it's like a whole 180, no doubt.

Like he has a beard. it's like six feet. Like it's completely different for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We did take those jeans. But at the end of the day, like growing up in the Greek community, I didn't know how to navigate who I was. I felt gender dysphoria from a really young age. I didn't know how to like feel about myself.

I felt weird. And I had no, like, let's say there wasn't any visibility of trans people. And so I didn't even know trans people exist. I just knew that my parents sometimes they would say like, oh, these people dressing up. And in my head, it was already like a very shunned upon topic because the way it was described, it was very negative, very. And I was like, what the hell? Like, these people are weird. But then at the same time, even before I knew what trans meant, I didn't know I was trans.

I just knew I was a girl because all I felt inside of me was like anything in regards to masculinity, anything that even remotely associated to manhood or. or what we would, I was completely not just, you know, unfamiliar or like uncomfortable. It was like a complete discuss. Like it was like a whole other side of the spectrum. I was like,

I felt like repulsed by it just like I. Oh, interesting. I felt like it didn't represent me in any sort of way. And then the moment for societal acceptance where my parents would dress me and my brother up and everything. And they pushed us into this circle. I was very uncomfortable every time they would put on like a dress to go to church, I would rip it off.

Like, I would throw tantrums. Did you have sisters? I don't. That's the thing. So you didn't have any like sister clothes to go and like try anything on or anything. What's like your earliest memory of knowing all of this? Like, do you remember? My earliest memory, I think, is at four where I remember I was in the washroom.

I had purple, you know, like this scissors, the arts and crafts ones. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And I placed him around. Yeah. You what? I placed the scissors around something very, yeah, which could have been very detrimental. Oh, you were like trying to cut your dick off.

There we go. Yeah, she was about to like let the princess want like slab onto the floor. Oh my God. This was when you were four. Like you were like, get this. What is this thing hanging off of me? It doesn't belong. Exactly.

And it wasn't even like it wasn't even like a sort of like thought to like hurt myself. It was literally just I don't want this on me. Like this isn't supposed to. to be here. Wow. Before I even knew that, like, I remember like around that age, I asked my mom, I'm like, oh, do girls have penises too? She was like, she was like, yeah. And then I was like, oh, well, whatever. So I grew up and then she said yes. She told you that girls had penises too. She didn't want to like break it to me or like have to explain the whole like anatomy. Parents are so ridiculous with their children. Okay, go on. Literally. And then I think a year later,

They're like, no, they have holes. I was like, okay, holes. So why don't I have one like in my head? Yeah. And I was like, I was just going crazy. So then it got even worse and worse with time. Then I started having like being forced to be taken to the barbershops and everything. That was a whole other trauma.

Why? Because you wanted your hair long? Yeah. Now it's like almost like to my hips. It's like long, black, like thick, full, like super happy with my genetics. But at the same time growing up, like I didn't have that opportunity. And I was like so envied. like I would literally tug on other girls' hair.

I would like chase them around like because I like I would walk behind them. I wanted to be a girl so badly physically that I literally would only hang out with girls. Any girl toys like Barbies I would always like play with their hair and I would be so jealous. And it was like such a gender envy that my parents, the way they wanted to like reconstruct that image because look they didn't have a choice. They're like, oh, she loves girls. She's addicted to them. She chases them around everywhere. They're thinking you're like a future womanizer.

There we go. They were like literally completely, they were completely reversing the image in people's eyes. They're like, he's going to be such a heartbreaker. In my head, I'm like, what the hell? Like, I just want to be like this, you know? And but it was very shunned upon like very like early. Like it was just very negative that whole idea. Even when I would do the slightest remarks of femininity or like feminine desires

to like my family, it was like side eye. Like I would be like, oh, I want to grow my hair. They're like, like, like, what? And like, in my head, I'm like out here trying to pull a picture of Winks Club and and back on like all these like little things. And I show them like the girl character. I'm like, yeah, like that. But like, on a boy, they're looking at me like, hmm.

And then you did say that you weren't into any kind of boy things. Honestly, on my end, like sometimes sometimes the thing is like girls can be interested in like of soccer. and hockey and like obviously. But the thing is on my end, it was disgustingly obvious because it was like so stereotypical to the bone from my favorite color. It started off as lilac. Oh, right.

Like literally lilac, like pink, like all princess colors. And then it just went off directly from how long I want my hair. The toys I would play with, I would always gravitate towards like the little toy animals, the little Barbies, like whenever I would go to my friend's house, it would always be like, let's play Barbie's dream house. let's play mommy family. Yeah, you never wanted to like wrestle with your friends, right? Well, I like remember in primary, like people would bully me.

So I wasn't afraid to kick their ass, like literally. But besides that, wrestling never had a calling for me. Me was always like I was at my grandparents' house and my brothers. And I was like, we're going to play family. Yeah, see, that's so telling though, because I got to tell you as a mom, I have a young son. He's seven. And, you know, you see things in your children very, very, very. early on and it's always crazy to me because I see in my boy and the other boys most of the boys at the park you know you could tell that they're boys because they love to fucking wrestle they're doing all these things that are just natural in them you know there's no one's telling them what to do you know they're expressing themselves naturally and it's always like it's very stereotypical so if your kid is like doing the opposite it's saying something you see these things very early the thing is though like I think

feel like it's selective and you choose what to see specifically because with my family with my mom, it's like the moment she had me and my brother when she had us. I remember this is like the story she would tell everybody when she first met them. She was like, oh yeah, I have twins. And when they came out of the womb, they told me I have two boys and I corrected them. And I said, no, not boys, men. Like so imagine this kind of person growing up. How are you going to tell this woman that you want to be a girl?

Like when does that conversation happen? How are you to tell this woman who in her head here like the male, the like dominant, the womanizer? How are you going to be like, oh, by the way, my name is Sienna and I am going to be a little princess. Like, how do you tell her that? Okay. So wait. So now you're, you become Sienna and you pick that name and everything before you even have that conversation with your parents. Like, how does that come about?

So my story is interesting because growing up I wanted to really please them. It was a lot of struggle for me internally, and there was a lot of religious indoctrination. The amount of times I heard, oh, like, people like this go to hell, and I was scared. Like, I was scared, and I'm going to be 100% honest with you. It wasn't even, like, scared of, like, the church. It was literally just scared of hell, like, scared of the afterlife. I was like, because the way they were describing it was, like, mean. And I was like, I didn't want to be, like, associated to that in any way, shape or form.

Yeah, that's scary. You're little. You don't understand that stuff. And being surrounded in the Greek community. Like, that's the narrative you're being told everywhere because in, and whether it's school, whether it's church, whether it's at home, whether it's with your grandparents, everyone is preaching the same kind of religious indoctrination. And it's making you like fully buy into it. So with the moment you hear hell, you're like, anything but hell. You know what I mean? Yeah. I mean, they're burden in eternity. Listen, I think unfortunately most religions have some form of. of this, you know? And if your parents happen to be religious, people grow up in this kind of environment, it's really hard because, listen, at that point that this is all happening and you're so confused and your parents are telling you these things, you're not an, you don't have an adult brain. Like, you can make your own decisions, you know? They're sort of telling you the way things go and you believe it because you're a child. Like, how does it feel to you like when you're younger? Like, do you feel like, oh, this is not right? I felt completely like foreign. My body felt foreign. Even though, like, before, you.

puberty. I had less distress because I'm like, look, I'm a child. Like, I'm going to grow up. Like in my head though, my growing up was, I never had the picture of I'm going to grow up, be a man, have a beard. Like in my head, I'm like, I'm going to grow up to be a mom. I'm going to up and I'm going to like have these like killer hips with his like jumbo ass and super long hair. Like we made it happen for ourselves. But I mean, before that, my genitalia felt completely foreign to me. And then I would start going into my mom since I didn't have a sister. I went my mom's closet when she wasn't there. And I would just try on her heels, walk around, go into her makeup.

I would literally just look at it and try and understand what's for what. Because I never even knew when she was going to open the door and come in. So I was like ready to sprint to the other room. You know? Yeah. Yeah. Did you ever get caught? I never got caught trying on makeup at our early age.

It was mainly just like playing with my hair and like what I watch on TV and like that kind of things at school or at birthday parties. I would always be with the girls. and it was like, but like at home, I was really, really good at like hiding it because I wanted to be praised and I wanted to be like loves and I was a very attention seeking child. But at the same time, it was hard at home because like whenever we would have friends and family over like, I had to like play into this image for my mom because she would literally tell everyone like my three boys.

And on top of it, me being like the little smart student, I would have also the reputation of having a hundreds all the time. So it's like when I bring home the hundreds and I like how like like like in terms of grades. Oh, okay. Like like I ate my exams. I get them. I ain't my exams. I come home. So for my mom like this golden child. So for this woman, why would I want to like disappoint her? So then growing up, I like kept this narrative of like, oh, I'm her little golden child. Like I need to keep this up. And I tried to suppress the femininity more and more growing up. up because it started off with like haircuts and what I wear and then like when girls wanted to wear tight things I wanted to wear tight things but then when I started kind of growing up I was like no

baggy I hate my body I want to hide it completely from my eyes like I don't want to see it yeah but at the same time like growing up I tried to like really really suppress that and then starting in primary I was I was able to like I mean balance it out with like who I would hang out with how I would present that's cool how I would talk how I would walk like who I would play with the recess there was never any soccer involved you know it was always like we're gonna play mommy and gossip and like which boys are cute you know and that also with my sexuality I was always into like mainly boys and it was like really hard for me to like hide that also because it's like when when a guy complimented me in class or like said something like a joke like I would always like blush like but then the thing is

they would bully me and they would be like, oh, like, you know, and they would use slurs, like, fag really, really. Like, it was insane. And the thing is, I was like, no, no, never, not me. Anyone but me. Like, literally, I would defend myself, like, as if they literally just, I don't know, killed my mom. Like, I was to that point.

Like, I will make sure nobody, nobody, like, finds out about me being feminine and a girl and and even liking boys. So I completely, uh, one age. like I was like no no no no but it was fucking obvious like um well does your parent like so how does that conversation go my parents were like denial as hell my mom worked crazy shifts like she would never be home almost I would see my grandparents more than my parents because they were the people we would go to after school usually what about your twin brother did he have any clue not growing up because I wouldn't hang out with him at school we were always in different classes so at school would be

like where I would express myself and at home would be like where I would be like where I press myself. Okay, so get me to that conversation with your mother or your parents. So basically, everything started mid high school. I tried to convince everyone, including myself, that I wasn't a girl. I even had girlfriends that I would do nothing with. Like, I would just text them and gossip. Like, it was the funniest thing ever. But then after, at mid high school and high school, I was suicidal. Like, it was like really, really bad. Wow. And it's social media became my outlet. It became my, like almost therapies I would tell everybody

everything that was going on in my life and also with religion I was like oh like it was that point in my life where I was like look God I'm like I'm not going to ask you to make me feel normal anymore because that was like the narrative that was going on every night I was crying myself to sleep

I was trying to put away scissors so I don't touch anything down there and then it was basically just like please God make you feel like a boy and the one night I was like God just do your thing because I don't know if there's going to be a tomorrow if you don't fix me

I remember the night after, I don't know what the fuck happened. And I, like, went to Sephora and I spent, like, $750. But, and I put on social media. And I was like, you know what? I was like, my name is Siana. I go by. And that was like in the beginning. I didn't know how to, like, navigate it.

So I was like, oh, yeah, my pronouns are they them. Ha, ha, ha. Like, and my parents, they were like, what the fuck? And I was like, and I like boys. Like, that was like a one shot thing. That's why you brought it up just the next day? Yeah, it was like on social media. I was like that bitch, there was no conversation with my parents.

It was like on social media, this is happening. And then my dad, he came home. He was like, what the fuck? He was like, this doesn't make sense. And even if you were gay, at least don't be feminine. In my head, I'm like, imagine. I'm like, not only that I'm not gay, but I am a woman. It's like, how do I break to my dad that not only I'm not going to be this masculine gay boy?

I'm going to be like this like hyperfeminine like transsexual girl. Like, how do I tell him this? Yeah, it's hardcore. I once had the parent of somebody who transitioned. And I thought it was such an interesting angle because I think for the parent, it's hard as well because in a way, they're like losing something. And I think it's hard, you know, for anyone because they are losing. I completely understand that. Yeah.

I was never like oblivious to that. Yeah. And that's the thing is like I was actually an understanding child. I was blamed growing up for being anarchistic and all this stuff. but I wasn't like even an anarchist. It's just like take me to the barbershop and of course I'm going to have a breakdown. I'm fucking trans. Like put on a dress shirt.

Of course I'm going to have a breakdown. I'm trans. Not because I want to create issues and arguments. No, you can't help it. Exactly. And I was like villainized. It was like you were that problematic child who wanted the attention and just backfired on us and told us. You were acting out.

You were acting out. But this was all like happening before you were able to just really be honest with what you a feeling in who you wanted to be. Yeah. And that happens to a lot of people that are confused about who they are. A hundred percent, not just trans people. Totally. Yeah.

But then when you bring a trans person and you put them in these like a trans woman and you put a trans girl like a child and you put her in all of these typically masculine environments and you don't expect her to have a breakdown like be fucking for real. You know what I mean? But they didn't have a hint. And I understand what you mean when you say like for the parents it was hard too. Yeah, of course. But not as hard as you.

I mean, like, I don't think it's a comparison thing. That's how it was in my head. I, like, wasn't even able to do what you're doing and justify it. Like, I always understood it. Yeah. And I was always, like, comprehensive of their struggle. But at the same time, I was like, I'm the child. Like, I'm the one suffering through all of this.

Like, don't take this and, like, reverse it on to you. Like, you know, I'm going through this. I'm a kid and I need support. But at the same time, my mom, she was, like, never home. And my dad, he would never talk to us about himself. So how the fuck? am I like supposed to find the courage to open up to my mom who is barely ever home well obviously she was trying to make it happen for us which I understood like financially

but at the same time like how am I supposed to feel comfortable to open up to you right but you do wind up throwing it out on social media word gets back to your parents correct oh yeah like the green community is closed exactly everyone talks to everyone yeah so then what the fuck happens So basically they were like, what the hell? Like the next few days, like they were trying to process it. We had conversations. They were like, they were like, I don't get it. Why don't you just like, we can bring you to church?

And there were so many times I had like almost conversion therapy. Like I was literally brought to priests and they were like, they were like, oh, do you like anal? I was like, what the fuck? So it was scary for me. And it was like very critical for me because the moment I like came to terms with it and fully accepted it. And that's like the moment I started having like a little bit of representation like Gigi gorgeous and like Nikita Dragon. I was like that's when I was like, okay, this is me.

Like so I literally harassed every fucking clinic and all of Montreal so I can have meetings with psychotherapist. Like, how old were you at the time? I was 17. Okay. And so this is your parents already know. Do they know that you wanted to transition? Were they forward against it? That's right before I told people that, no, I'm not non-minary.

I'm a girl. That's like me like fully coming to realization. I like was harassing every clinic, my GP, my general practitioner, like everyone, everyone, everyone. And within a month, I don't know how, but I managed to have like meetings with all of these different doctors, all of these psychiatrists. And I was like having hardcore meetings like time after time after time after. Like in a month, I think I had minimum like 15 meetings with like different professionals. And I was able to have access to hormones relatively fast because it was like an urgent thing. I was like like borderline like about to take my life.

So it was it was I made sure I had my meetings. So they like fast tracked you? They fast tracked me. But at the same time it was very like it wasn't just like, oh, you think you're transhears hormones. No, I had my, I had my meetings. I had my therapy. I had my, like, everything, everything, everything. Then that day where I had my appointment for my hormones, I go on social media and I'm like, oh, by the way, like, I'm a girl.

I'm sorry, I didn't tell you guys earlier, but I didn't feel like it was a safe space for me. I am trans. My pronouns are she, her. And my name is Sianna. I'm a female. How do you pick your name? I'm on my road too. Why Sian?

So my dad name started with an S and I'm a Scorpio. So I was like, there is no way we're going to leave the realm of us. I'm like, the S has to stay. Yeah. I went online. I was like, okay, let's find names. It was between that, Serenity and Nela. And I was like, serenity is too shribry.

Yeah. I was like, Nela, that's cute, but like doesn't feel right. And I'm like, Sienna, double N. I'm like 100%. I put on my social media. I'm like one N or two N. Before like two obviously. I'm like, exactly.

I was like, this is a confirmation. I'm like, Sienna it is. Okay. So you, but so you go to these warmer and doctors, he's doing all this. Now, does your parents, do your parents know about all this at this time? So my dad, he's like, oh, the general practitioner called us and told that he referred to an endocrinologist. Like, that was one of the doctors that I had seen. And then he's like, my dad is like, why the fuck do you want to start hormones? I was like, well, isn't obvious? Like, I'm like, I'm a girl. Like, my mental health is outstakes. Like, I want to take my life. Like, I can't do this anymore. And I told him, I'm like, look, I, I, want you to be part of my life and I am willing to help you through the like transition period so

you transition with me socially because like you said it's like for the parents too yeah but but his definition of me taking him along the way is me stalling my transition and I which wasn't an option which wasn't an option because it was that or like and I don't want to be a drama queen but it was that or death yeah and people don't fully understand that but it was like such a struggle for me. And like, I was lucky. My male puberty was very, very slow. I started male puberty. I think I was like 16. And it was like super slow. I never had facial hair. Thank God. All I remember is like these erections that made me want to like jump off a cliff. Oh, that's so interesting because you are a girl, but you know what it feels like to have a dick and have an erection. Yeah, it was like the weirdest thing ever.

And I was like, what the hell? But like, unlike my brother, like, everything came super late for me. And I thank God to this day, I never suffered from facial hair. Like, none of that, none of that, none of that at all. So I'm like, super grateful for that. But I was like, look, I know that if I stole my transition, these effects might probably come pretty soon. So let's completely shut this down. And I told my dad, I'm like, I'm so sorry.

It's not because I don't love you, but I need to prioritize myself. And I'm going to start hormones, whether you like it or not. I just, if you want to be part of my life, I'm willing to take you with me. But my mom, what she offered, she's like, no, you should start testosterone so we can see whether you're actually a boy, maybe you have hormonal defects, which I did. Oh, interesting. She's thinking you don't have enough testosterone and that's why you're acting this way. I had issues with my testosterone naturally, but that's not why I felt female because I felt female even before puberty. Right.

Like, this is something I always knew. Like I was just lucky to naturally have low testosterone. And that's why when you said you didn't know I was trans, like that played a big role in it. Like, considering the fact that I transitioned at 17, but I never went through proper male puberty. Thanks the Lord. Let me ask you this because, you know, I think it's, I'm curious, like in your world. Because listen, Buck Angel is very anti-like, isn't his voice kind of like, oh, don't let children or young people transition because you don't really understand. You know, 100%.

Right. 100%. So as someone who transitioned at 17, is there a benefit to, you? doing it at that age because you're you haven't fully gone through the uh like yeah the male puberty is that is that a reason why some people want to do it earlier i think 100% who are 100% know that they are trans and like not non-minary because that's like you know very like fluid in regards to identity and i think it's very like not invalid but i will say like identity based like trans is more like medical. You know for sure.

Exactly. You're like other side of the spectrum completely. Like it's like a binary. And I feel like trans kids who know for sure and who go through the therapy, the moment they have like let's say their first signs of sexual function, I feel like they can start like at least hormone blockers. Because yes, there are cases where like Josh Jennings, like she went through it before she had any signs of like um sexual development which stunted any form of like potential orgasms but for me like the moment i got my sexual like um development even started like like like i mean now

like i have a vagina and it's like fully functional in terms of orgasms in terms of self-lubrication really everything so i'm like really grateful for that and i feel like kids the moment they have like their first signs of like sexual function and they're able to have like one orgasms then I'm like, go for it. Like, you know, now you're going to be on a good track. Right. And for somebody like you who felt this way when you were little, like you never wavered on it. It wasn't like a face.

It was never like, exactly. It was never a phase. It was like, I mean, there was a lot of concealing and a lot of time trying to convince not only society, especially myself that it was like, oh, it's a face to face. But that was only so temporary. But yeah, so when I came out like my parents, I told them I'm starting like hormones. And that was the time where like all. already due to me ordering like like packages and packages of like girl clothes and wigs on

she and like it was like so funny but it was like it was excessive and my parents like they had already seen me sort of like go through the process of exploring my social femininity like the way I dress the way I look me growing on my hair makeup all that like I would walk walk down the stars with mascara they were like oh who does this bitch thing she is you know and um it was like it was violent at home there was police at our place every like two days. Why? And it was really sad because my mom like, um, didn't react well to it. So she would literally like throw my shit, break my shit.

Hit me. Oh, violence against you. Against me. And it was also just like three, four hours of yelling a day. Like it was not like 20 minutes. No, it was like hours on the end. But the thing is I wanted my parents. No. And I wanted my parents to understand. Like I really did. So I wasn't just like type to say, fuck you. I went in my room. Yeah. I was the type to. to sit there and argue until my throat, literally, I scratched my vocal cords and I used to bleed from them every night. I used to go to the sink and throw up blood.

Wow. They were like completely scratched. Like they were like, like, I was feral. Like I did, there was no, I'd even take breaks to go get water. I was like, please, I want you to love me. I want to like fix this relationship. I was crying and it was like really sad. But I just wanted things to be good with my parents.

So I like didn't give up at all. Obviously that was like pointless. because from like the police like I remember one time my mom she hit me and then I literally pushed her and I'm like I'm like look leave me the fuck alone like I don't want to hurt you but but bitch test my limits and I'll put you six feet on their ground but I didn't mean I was going to kill this bitch I just meant don't touch me yeah yeah so then she literally hits herself she calls the police and tells them they're like she's like oh yeah my daughter I'm scared of her she's gonna kill me so then the police obviously what did they do they come to the door they come talk to me

They're like, okay, but did you say the statement? I'm like, well, I'm a child being abused. The fuck do you think I'm going to say? So then they're like, they're like, well, regardless, like this is something, you know, we have to test it. Your mom is saying she's scared. So we have, they dragged me in booty shorts in the winter, in their car, which I'm clausrophobic. I was having a full on, that was my first panic attack, which now I have pretty regularly

because of trauma, which is really sad. But, and I was dragged to a psych ward where I sat seven hours there for them to tell me why the fuck are you here, princess, you're doing great. And I was like, ask God, you know, like, you know, I've been going through this for the past five months of like consistent, like violence and mental abuse and verbal. And it was insane. And it was after they had found out that you're going on the hormones and everything, right? That's when everything took it up a notch.

Could I just ask you real quick? At this point, though, do your parents accept you and do you talk to them and do you have a close relationship with them now? No. Oh, sad. How old are you now? I'm 20. Oh, so it's only been three years.

It's only been three years of medication. Okay. Surgery? I've had two surgeries. I've had my bottom surgery, my vaginal palsy, and I've had a nose job very recently, and that's all. The rest is all natural. The rest is hormonal.

Wow. So you grow breasts from the hormones. Yeah, like there's sea cups and they're very like pretty and purgeys. I'm really grateful, but hormones really did work on me. and my body was very receptive to female puberty. So I feel like that was always like a given tell like that my body, it was like what was meant for it to happen. Oh, interesting because it just accepted it and did what it needed to do naturally.

Like within the first week I had breast development, which usually takes, usually takes minimum like two months. And me, it was like the first like week. I already had like breast development. I was like, there is no way. Wow, that's crazy. So walk me through all that. It's like fascinating.

to me. Like, you know, literally, I started hormones two months after, well, the first month, I came home the first down hormones. I take them. I hide them because I'm like, who knows, maybe my mom's, I throw another fit in Britain and, like, throw them out the window. Yeah. So I, like, hide them. And I'm like, I record on TikTok. And that was like my little TikTok, like, where I started, um, really documenting my transition. I was like, hi, my name is Santa Catarius. And today is my first day on estrogen. And that was like, that was me like going through basically hormone replacement therapy and just like starting to navigate my transition through social media. But let me ask you about your voice because your voice is so like you sound like a, you know, a woman.

You are a woman now. But like back then was it, hi. It was it hi. My name is Sienna. I'm taking my first thing of estrogen. Or did you, did you create this voice beforehand? Because I feel like that is something you could do. hormone therapy.

Like let's say Buck Angel. Like he used to sound more like coming in and everything. And like the testosterone is basically the reason he sounds like so masculine. But the thing is for estrogen, like one of the like downsides is that estrogen is not as powerful testosterone. And the moment you have had exposure to testosterone, estrogen cannot like really alter your voice. Like it can suppress any further changes. But the rest of like vocal training personally because of the fact that I had barely any testosterone in me.

Yeah. My voice was always like relatively female range. Like oh, interesting. Within the female range. Maybe a little bit deeper than that. But the thing with me, and that's what I was telling, like what I was going to say earlier is that I, to basically convince people into not bullying me because I was bullied so much, even before I told anyone, even before I told people that I like boys or that I was, this was like really early. People always like clocked my voice and they were like, why do you sound like a girl? Why do you walk like a girl? Oh, interesting. So I would literally force my voice. I would go home and do like, even though I would cry through it because I hated it.

Like I would train my voice to become masculine, which is like crazy just so I don't get bullied. Oh, right. You were trying to hide it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. So you always had, but you did find out later on that you did have low testosterone to begin with. So maybe that was in play, correct? Thank God.

So yeah. This is my natural voice right now. But I also like I can, let's say, deepen it if I really try it, which is like plenty. So, but going through that process, it's. like it was crazy like with um the hormonal changes but within a month of hormones my parents it was getting really really violent and my mom paid a lawyer like i think i think it was like 10k like it was like a ridiculous amount so we could like fast track this letter and like basically write that i was abusive but what was the point of that letter to get you out of the house or to literally because

she didn't have the right to legally take me out of the house because i was done studies okay and they were they have to like provide a roof over my head and food legally well i'm in studies under the age of 24, I think. So I was like, I was like, look, bitch, you can't get me out. So she was like, look, I'm going to write this letter and blah, blah. So she literally went out of her way like crazy and like had this lawyer basically bullshit this letter that the moment I opened it, the PDF file that she sent me through email, I was like, there is no fucking way this bitch is serious.

Because on the letter it said, oh yeah, I was informed that you have been abusive and violent. I was like, there is no way that this bitch is literally putting on, like, everything that I went through onto her, literally appropriating my story and then using it to get me out of the house. I was like, there is no way. She couldn't watch it. Yeah, that's terrible. How did your dad feel? My dad was more accepting, honestly, but he didn't want to go through me and my mom. It was like, it was like having to choose between like a rock and a hard place.

It was like, how do you choose? So he kind of stayed neutral. he stayed out of it because he didn't want he couldn't stick up for you and he didn't want to go against her. And so did my brothers and I resented them complaining for it for the longest time because I was like, how the fuck do you see your sister get hurt every single day and have to fight alone? I guess it's like and you do nothing. And yeah, obviously like when you see your mom like like tormenting herself mentally and telling and like basically brainwashing your brothers into oh your sister look what she's doing.

She's killing the family. She's killing the values. She has no values. So like obviously they're going to be brainwashed. Yeah. But at the same time like I resented them because I'm like who's on my side? Like what the fuck? Yeah.

Nobody's there for you. And are you close with your brothers now? I'm close with my twin. Okay. That's good. But what about your father? No. It was like there was so many on and off periods with my dad.

Like he was trying to like be there. But like his definition of trying was like not even the bare minimum. It was like and I'll get into that. It's like when I moved out, like I actually ended up moving out a month after. And I moved out. I was going from like place to place. I was, I think I moved out like over three times in a year, which is insane. Like especially I was a full-time student.

So it was like mentally draining like as fuck. Plus you're also transitioning at this time. Plus I was transitioning. So imagine. Imagine pregnancy level hormones every single day of your life when you're going to full-time student double majoring. in psychology and women and gender studies. And dealing with the whole thing that's going on with your family.

And now you're moving out. And I don't know how I didn't kill myself, girl, honestly. But I managed. And my dad at the beginning helped me move out. And then he tried to be there. Then he was like seeing it. He was saying the woman had in me. He was like, okay, like this is happening.

And he like accepted it. But he didn't want to fully like show that he accepted it. So he was always doing this bare minimum shit. He was like, oh, I'll help you. I love you. you and it was like gas light because I'm like if you love me do more bitch like you know like how are my brothers still living at home and you love them but me you love me and you can only get me like a hundred fifty dollars of groceries a month like be fucking for real like what am i

going to do without shove it off my ass like anyways so is that when you started like dancing for money because no no not even i try to be a good girl at the beginning okay but how were you living at that time being so young and going to school like how are you supporting yourself to live outside of the house who's supported your operations? So that's where we're getting to. The thing is, then I was like basically like half-hassing my life.

Like I was like super suicidal, financial stress, like everything, everything, everything. In that year, I got sexually assaulted two times because I was going out and like I was literally raped. And like I also went through that mentally.

Is that when you were dressed as a woman out of the house? Like outside? Yeah. And I, the thing is with me, I passed really quickly. I started hormones. And within the second month, like, I walked down the street and I looked like a little girl.

Like, I did look young. Yeah. I did look like little titties, but it was giving girls pretty early. So I was lucky, but the thing is people fetishize trans girls a lot, especially, like, these older men. And, like, when they see a vulnerable trans girl who just left the house and who's mentally unstable and who's out with their friends, what are they going to do? So I was like, like, I had my drink, like, all, like, messed with and, like, every single. since that day I don't drink and I have still like I had flashbacks of like that rape scene like so many times and it's like it completely fucked me. They roofied you?

Yeah. That's scary shit. That didn't go down in my age, but my time. But that's like a real thing that happens and anyone could do it. I mean, that's a dangerous thing. Exactly. And then I told my parents and they were like, well, we knew it was going to happen. I'm like, there is no way this is their response.

Like my mom was like, well, it was about to happen. Oh, God. They're trying to make you feel like you're getting punished for being a female. I mean, please. Yeah, exactly. That's sick. That's a sick shit. Yeah, your mother has like what problems. I mean, those are, that's all that stuff says something about her. I know my mom is narcissistic because she was growing up to like help my. She really wanted to like make her parents proud. So she lived a life for them. And I when I was growing up, I was always surrounded with a mentality. Like she would always tell me if I wanted to like girls, I could. If I wanted to be a man and cut my hair short, I can. It's. It's. all about a choice and I'm like, hmm, I'm asking myself questions. And I'm like, maybe it's down the bloodline. There is some denial. Yeah, maybe that's why she, you know, listen, I mean, she might have been, you might have been a really tough mirror for her to look at. Like, you were everything that she ever wanted to be that she could never be. You know, I mean, like that sometimes happens. Sometimes that parent that hates that kid. They hate that kid the most because it reminds them of themselves, you know. She literally, she literally would tell people, she's like,

fell in love with who she was before now. I literally like can't look at her. I'm like, but in my head I was like, there is no my bitch. So then it was like I was trying to better my relationship with my parents. I was trying to like still. And even when I was hearing these hurtful statements, I love them more than I hated what they were saying. So I was like, you know, I'm still going to work for the relationship. They were like kind of coming over doing some little things here and there.

Like we were going for food every six months. So we can say hi. And I felt really like under sustained. It was like, what the. fuck like how are you gonna like barely do anything for me and expect me to like be there for you but i was like settling for this behavior i was like there i'm gonna be okay with it and they were barely giving me anything else in return i was able that like that was like after like one and a half years one and one whole year of putting up with that shit i was like look no more um that i like

from the beginning of my transition i was like starting with paperwork for like vaginalplasties Like here in Montreal, we have the best clinic in all of Canada, which was literally a minute away from where I used to live, which is insane. What's the name of it? It's called GRS, Montreal, gender reassignment surgery in Montreal. And I think it's metropolitan, like surgery, like whatever. The address is 999, like Salibary Street. I remember by heart. And I, that year, like here in Montreal, since I was diagnosed with gender dysphoria and followed up with therapists, like through that.

whole year of transitioning. It was fast-tracked, but it was very well-supervised. And I was able to have my bottom surgery covered by insurance, which was $30,000. Wow. Tell me about the surgery. Were you nervous or just like, I mean, you must have been excited because like- I went in there. I went in there.

I signed the paperwork. I was like, just do it. The doctor was like, do you have anything? Like, are you scared? I was like, make her look like Barbie and just do it. And now what do they tell you about orgasms? Is there a big risk that you could never have an orgasm again? Like, how does that work?

If you did have orgasms in the past, if you were able to at least have one orgasm in the past, usually your sexual function is kept. Oh, that's cool. Considering the fact that the surgeon who performed on me, which is Dr. Brasar, Pia Brasar, he did kill the surgery. It went amazing. I did have complications because they forgot that I was anemic after I lost all that blood, which basically almost had me dead in the ER a month later.

Yeah. Which I was crying for my life. Oh, yeah. Like in the bathtub of my best friend's place, recovering. Oh, my God. The scariest thing ever. And thank you to her,

Cecilia. Like, that's her name. And she was like the sweetest person ever. Her mom, too. Like, they did sacrifice, like,

like the place I could be able to heal, which is amazing. I'm like super great. How long is that surgery? The surgery? Yeah. I think it was like a three-hour surgery. Three hours.

So they, they create what, I mean, did you come out? Oh, shit. I don't know that's that. Did you come out with a Barbie pussy? I mean, you're like, it'll make me look like Barbie.

Oh, no. It looked like, it looked like a shi-h-h-h-hook. Like, it looked completely like, like, like, like it was crazy. I looked at it and I was like, I was super happy. I was crying. I'm like, thank God. The other thing isn't there. But like, yeah, yeah.

I was still like, what the fuck is this? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. What does it look like when you first come out? It's like, super stuffed with like a bunch of tissues for the to stop the bleeding. Oh, yeah. It looks literally like a swollen. like in like bruised bloody um croissant

wow and how long before you really get to see exactly what you have going down honestly after a month two months and I was taking care of it properly with like the everything like the sits baths and everything and like uh after a month two months well I had my little hemorrhage you know like almost died but whatever because you have it and where was it coming out. It was like because they put like an inside vaginal canal in you, right? You have the same thing that I have going down. Exactly.

But it was coming out through my urethra of the blood. It was like so bad. Yeah, through there and through the bottom incisions. Like it was just the blood was super like bad. And and my punani issue was like my pussy was swollen. So it's like on top of that it's like I had to keep the catheter for an extra like week which can create more risk of urinary tract infections. But thank God I was like I was going.

crazy on that cranberry juice. I think she like she did her dog. Wait, so wait. So two months later you look down and you have like a real looking pussy. Like it's all the whole thing. Real looking. But the part where they like stitch and like did the incisions. You can still see like that there was like incisions and stuff. But it's funny because like I started hooking up with guys like after like three months and I still could tell but like they didn't even notice. And I was like, okay. And you could orgasm. right away? The orgasms came like out at four months in. I could orgasm and I was like, oh my God, this feels insane. What's the difference between like, I'm assuming you had orgasms when you

had your penis. Yeah. I love, I love anal. Like, I mean, I'm still an anal queen. And that hits so hard. Like I do anal. My pussy like gets wet as hell. So I'm like really like crazy on that. but at the same time it's it's it's the same intensity it's a different like kind of feeling though it's like it's like I don't know how to explain it but I never did have like

an orgasm through my penis because I would never touch that never ever ever touch that it was it was anal and vaginal and I'm very clitoral through vaginal and it works like insanely good vibrator is always fully charged she's my best friend right but your pussy gets wet you have like you know you get fucked in the vagina like you like you have a clit like you have

everything you don't get did you get periods i know that sounds like a very dumb question no i don't i've already had like i already i do get periods sometimes meaning like the pms kind of like yeah yeah yeah yeah like the hormones like the but the the blood no because you don't have ovaries and eggs right there we know none of that and the moment i got my surgery that was like completely like done done and my testosterone is like lower than cis females just because of the fact that I not like because of my hormones that I was on for so long and because of the surgery like my testosterone suppression is like at a max plus my estrogen levels are skyrocketing like normal female like ranges between 300 and 900 and I'm at like 3,900 which is insane wow is that why

you have that big ass I mean when did you get the did you you said you had two surgeries like what was the second surgery? Like you had bottom surgery? The second surgery was my nose. Oh yeah, your nose job, right. I recently had it just because I couldn't like really look at my face anymore.

Not that I felt ugly, but I was just like I had too many associations with my past and too many like trauma flashbacks. And I was like, no, we're not doing this. I went to Turkey and I came back two weeks ago and I had my nose job. Oh wow.

And I was able to finally cover that. And that's like basically the last part of the story of the like is basically, where I was like, fuck lifeguarding. I was like, I am not going to settle for being the daddy's little good girl when daddy is giving me not even the bare fucking minimum of parenthood. So I was like, you know what? I'm sexy as fuck.

I am going to sell the fantasy. And like, you know, like, why do I have all this attitude? Why am I singing Nikki and Cardi but not like making it happen for myself? And I thought of myself, like, am I really going to be able to have the body of my dreams, the lifestyle of my dreams? No, I'm going to be this like ratchetly. little bitch begging for rights like I'm like absolutely not so I became a stripper wait could I just ask you how did you get your stripper curves I mean because you know

how that's like your real ass honestly the gym and um an estrogen it as I said like female puberty hit me like a bus like the stretch marks at the beginning were insane because of the how fast my body stretched in terms of my hips and my ass um and um the thighs too like covered in Trash marks. Everything happens so fast. Yeah. My ass is natural. My hips are natural. My thighs are natural. My boobs are natural. Everything's natural. Wow. And so you go to, when you go to like strip, right? And that first time you go in and you got to dance for them. Do you explain to them that you're trans? Never. And there were issues regarding some places because I was big on TikTok at that point. And people told like would see me and they were like, oh my God, that's Santa from TikTok. And they would literally tell my boss is. They're like, Oh, you know, she's trans, right? And, like, there were a few places that had issues with it. And it doesn't even make sense because I'm post-off. I'm, like, fully female, like, transition.

So I'm like, what's your problem? But some people still had issues and gave me a hard time. But I ended up finding places that were accepting of me. And now I can not only make my money, but I can make my money feeling safe and, like, loved and, like, well-surrounded, which is, like, fundamental in terms of, like, you need that for a workplace. Like, if your workplace doesn't make you feel sick. security and like safety, then I feel like it's like a shit workplace, you know? Yeah. How long you've been dancing for?

I've been dancing for like around like seven months. I started in end of November. And it's been going like great, honestly. Like I've, I had a lot of like issues at the beginning. Like I got robbed and like like there was a guy who attempted to pimp me and like it was like crazy. Yeah, don't even get me started with that. Well, yeah.

Now you live in the girls world. I mean, you know, it's a little bit. Yeah. Hi. No, literally. But the thing is now I'm, I've, I've become like my own mom kind of. I've taken care of myself. I make my bread.

I am not complaining. I'm a really good hustler in my opinion. But wait, you're completely passable, right? As a trans woman, like, do you like to be called a trans woman or do you feel like you're just a woman? Like, what is the? I feel like I'm both. And there was a face where I was like telling people, oh, yeah, I'm a girl. And I didn't even disclose the trans aspect of it.

I literally took out all my TikToks. I took them down about being trans. And I was like, look, I'm going to pretend to be this Sienna that was like born like fully female and not trans because the discrimination that you get when people do when you tell people your trans is not fun in like 50% of the time. And especially in the world of stripping. And that was before I found places that accepted me. So I'm like, look, since some places they're not accepting, they're just not going to know. Yeah. And then same thing happened with like having sex.

Like I wouldn't tell men. I would like and my type is like big strong over six feet like Arab men who have like these beards and bus cuts and like look super like macho and like like that's my type. And like a lot of the time they're Muslim too. So it's like even more like oopsies. Like if you don't tell them you're trans like it ends like very pretty. Oh my God. How many times have you?

you told the guy and like what were the responses if you told them after the fact? I literally would never tell them. And I, I told them I, there was some where like they showed their friends. They're like, look, I hooked up with this girl. Or like I started dating this girl. She's so pretty. Like she like her and my pussy looks fat. Like she looks fat, but super pretty, super and symmetrical, but she's fat. What do you mean fat? Like like plump? Like what do you mean? Like pump, like lip fillers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, my God.

And that's the thing. And then they were like, oh, my God, she's perfect. The friends were like, I accused to see her on TikTok, she's trans. And when an Arab guy who grew up his whole life being told that like trans is bad and that it's men in wigs, and they don't know the full story behind it. Yeah. Obviously they have like a preconceived notion, which is false, but still like there. So a lot of them did like call me at like 3 a.m.

be like, what the fuck? You didn't tell me your trans? And it was the funniest thing ever. I was like, bitch, be fucking for real. It did suck to like have some guys that I did actually fall in love with. Yeah. Like have issues with it. Or at least that I was catching feelings for.

But I mean, look, it was also kind of fun. Like, it felt validating at first to like be able to like have sex with men, like my type 100%. I'm the one being chased. I don't even have to do any work. I'm just sitting there being a little princess, little passenger. little passenger princess everything so you your gender identity is you know you're female what about your sexual identity are you strictly into men are you into men and women like what do you so i think before hormones i was like i'm i'm into men like men men men yeah i was boy crazy and then the thing is

now i'm like definitely bisexual i do mainly go for men sadly but um that's just how life has been so far to me but I'm very open to finding the girl that, like, is able to compliment me. Plus, there's so many, like, I think issues regarding, like, me with men, like, sex could be really cool. Like, I love being, like, daddy's little bitch. But at the same time, like, it's hard for me to, like, especially after the trauma I've been through to just get sexual really fast. So now I've, like, kind of closed up on that until I find the right guy. Like, Daddy's little cum slide is not coming out. You're not going to see her until I feel safe.

Yeah. And now, do you feel like now? Like, where are you at right now? Girls get me more. Girls just understand. Like, they understand the need for emotional connection before sexual intimacy in many cases. And that feels comforting. But right now I'm at the point where I'm, like, thinking of my money.

I'm thinking of my future that I'm going to, like, start investing in real estate. I'm thinking of my reputation. I'm thinking of the image I'm creating for myself. And I'm making it happen for myself. Like, I'm going to invest at the end of the year, hopefully in real estate. I'm traveling. I'm open to potentially getting other surgeries, even though I don't think I need any.

No, you don't. Don't start going to the place where then you start to look bizarre and that you had surgery. You're right. Now you just look very natural. Let me ask you this. So when I said like, where are you now? Like I mean like now do you feel like when you meet someone

if you're looking for a relationship or something that you're straight up about, you know, the fact that you're trans so that you don't have to deal with them finding out afterwards and then maybe them having a problem like you know weed out the trash in the beginning you're so right the thing is i for the longest time i was like i'm not going to tell them i'm chance it was more like because i want to date like straight men who don't fetishize me even and now i'm post off they don't really fetishize me as much even though i'm still like very oh like taboo for some people and they find that sexy or whatever i find i'm like you're working on that because you do have an only fan and i'm assuming i am monetizing

off of it, but at the same time, like, I'm monetizing off of the- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I will disclose, but, and it's kind of like the moment I found an accepting workplace, I was like, look, there is a possibility for me to be accepted fully as, like, who I am and not just partially, because even though I am female, I do also happen to be trans. So, and I did want to live my life fully as both female and as trans, because I can just, like, pretend the first like 18 years of my life, 17 years, 16 years of my life didn't happen. So I'm like, I will still be trapped.

And also with all the stupid laws being passed in the U.S., I was like, this bitch needs to advocate for her community. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. I mean, you're like a great voice for people like you. I mean, who else that could understand, you know, people going through that and experiencing what you experienced. And I'm trying to show people about like ethnic, ethnic, ethnic people. who are trans and who do go through discrimination, loss of family, sexual abuse can become

these like girl bosses who basically like latch on latch from the patriarchy. Like we literally use the patriarchy to our advantage and we basically girl boss our way into success. And I'm like, I want to be a role model to show these young trans kids that it will happen for them. They just need to keep fighting even when they feel like the last thing they want to do get up in the morning. Like, I want to show them that it has a possibility. So now I do tell man. You're somebody who went through, I mean, listen, some people have it easier. They have parents that do accept it and are very helpful. And it's still hard for them. I mean, you had it the worst. I mean, your parents were not only not into it. I mean, they were physically abusive. I mean,

you were really facing a brick wall and you still were able to overcome it and move forward and do what you wanted to do for yourself. So you kind of like beat all the odds. So I think it's like your story's really important. A good example. Yeah, for sure. And now I hear like Blair White and like all these trans like instance where I'm like, I'm like, you are half asking this shit. Like be fucking for real. Like be successful. Be pretty. Make sense. But still support your community. Like why the fuck are y'all here trying to backstop us to get like minimal like minimal respect from the conservatives like very like momentary respect just to put your community down. Like, y'all bitches are losing your rights.

Like, and I'm here having to fight for them while still looking after myself. And something I, like, learned is that sometimes, um, you want to fight for survival. Sometimes the survival of your community, all you can do is, like, fight for your own survival. And that does count in your, the survival of your community. But I feel like the moment you can advocate for more people, it is your duty and your responsibility. And as a trans person now, who is open.

And I do tell men pretty much. it off the bat unless it's a hookup. Now you do. I honestly don't give a shit because I'm not going to see those people again. But not that I have many of those due to trauma. But yeah, now I tell people off the bat and I'm very open about being trans. I put it on TikTok again. I'm starting to become, again, that voice that I used to be just even louder and even more, in my opinion, powerful.

Because I'm in a more, I'm in a better position. I'm post-off, fully transition, making my bank, saving, trust. traveling like I am becoming that person that I you know used to cry at night hoping that one day I could see so that's why my my bio on Instagram is like became the doll I wish I could play with as a little girl and I feel like that's kind of powerful yeah that is amazing I'm so glad your friend told you to call in because like I said I really you know somehow someone alerted me to buck angel I'm like oh I'd love to have one you know this side of the story because it's very extreme you know I I like to show all sides of things like I said I was very very

I've had once a parent on. You know, that parent was much more, it was very different than your parent. They were just upset about it, but accepting, you know, I think there's so many different views of this. But what a great view you have as somebody who fully transitioned, who. I think it's super important to tell people that, like,

gender dysphoria is something serious. It's a condition we do suffer from. Being trans is not a mental illness, but suffering from gender dysphoria, is a condition that we do, and in my opinion, someone who does not have gender dysphoria cannot be trans. Like that's why we do go through the medical process, the like psychological process of being assessed, of being diagnosed, of being followed up.

And it is super important. But at the same time, the moment that is assessed and fully like done, like a transition shouldn't be compromised. And whether the person is a kid and they're 15 or whether they're 18, they should have the right to like be who they are. because in most cases it is life-saving and for people who are watching or hearing in the U.S. and have

trans friends or like people in their family. Like I think what we need the most honestly is social support but we also do need to be advocated for so that we have the right to just like medically be assisted into surviving and that's what people don't understand is

being trans is not a choice. Being trans is who we are and in a lot of cases like we do this only to survive and sometimes at the cost of more than just comfort zone but like family like safety and we compromise all that so imagine like how hard how like necessary it is if we're willing to compromise our safety and our family which in most cases are things that nobody should ever even have to choose between you wouldn't be doing that if it was a phase i mean like that you know what you have to go through right i was like serious business well like it's not it's not just hair

extensions and makeup. It's surgery. It's, it's everything. It's it's it's it's it's leaving behind a whole life to start a new one so you can be happy and authentic like and one day hopefully I do become a mom and and and but until then we're going to hustle and make it happen because I'm going to be that bitch like a passive income is going to be my middle name and I'm going to make sure. Speaking of your income, why don't you give out your only fan so people could go and sign up my only fans is literally siana catharius. I spell that again. consistently. It's the same thing as my Instagram. So as I-E-N-N-A-K-A-T-H-A-R-I-O-S. I pose very consistently and you guys can go check out my custom little Kuchi and my All-Matural little self-made body that I'm good at moving around. So that's what they'll get if they go on your OnlyFans. They'll see all that kind of stuff, correct?

Yeah. And I can get, I can definitely get more private requests in my DM. Yeah. Well, listen, like I wanted to give out. your Instagram early on in the call so people could just check you out and see what I saw when I first called in and I'm like oh I don't know what this little girl you know you look young of course right and I'm like oh she's maybe she's a stripper or something I don't know

and she's gonna talk about all the guys she fucks I didn't know what you were calling in for I had no idea because I don't think I read your bio and I feel like it would be another like whole thing like to talk about what I'm into sexually like due to trauma I also do fetish eyes like being degraded and stuff and like well we could do a part two

why don't we do a part two and you know we'll air like one after the other. We could do you. I think we could definitely do that. But this is your part one, which is your whole backstory. It's super interesting. I'm going to put your link tree in my description. You know, I love that, you know, you're just a regular girl who transitioned and went

through like a very typical, you know, it's a typical story, you know. And I think that other people that feel like you could really. But like overall, like it is like a narrative. that many people can relate to this large. So anyway, Sienna, thanks so much for calling in. We're going to talk again, okay? You're going to call up for part two. Let me know when you're going to air it.

I'll send you my letter to. All right, awesome. And I'm going to DM you on Instagram to set up the part two, okay? Perfect. Okay. Bye. Okay, bye. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book,

it's called Strictly anonymous confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available, not only in paperback and ebook, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category

that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang being girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person, and they're all true.

I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person. And I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like Penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. 17 of them.

They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format. back format. And finally, the audio book is available coming out August 25th, but you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint. Okay. There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me. Okay. I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people

in there. Everybody shares content with each other. And that's what you get to do there. You could post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total strictly anonymous community and you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord. It's private, like I said. All you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook, the ebook, or the paperback. Send it to me at strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. That's strictly Anonymous podcast at gmail.com and I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in. This is the Strickly Anonymous podcast. Hey, everyone. Thanks so much for tuning in to this

week's episode. If you want to follow the show, follow me at Strict Anonymous on Instagram or Twitter. That's at Strict Anonymous. If you are on YouTube, make sure to subscribe. I love YouTube. as a platform for my show because people comment there and I try to reply back to every single person who post a comment. So even if you're not listening

on YouTube and you want to talk about the show, go to my YouTube channel, subscribe, like, and share my videos and strictly anonymous podcast. If you want to sign up for my Patreon, on my Patreon, you are not only supporting my show, but you will get these episodes early, ad free, and

you get to see anonymous picks of my guests. Most of the girls send in anonymous picks and some of the guys, send an anonymous pick. So if you want to see anonymous picks of my guests as well as support my show and get these episodes early and ad free, sign up for my Patreon. Patreon.com slash strictly anonymous podcast. That's patreon.com slash strictly anonymous podcast. The link is also in the description below. Thanks so much for listening.