Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 639 - Fetish Friday: Bash is Into Financial Domination

Episode Date: May 26, 2023

Bash is into financial domination and he called in to talk all about it. When did he realize he was into findom? What about it is so appealing to him? And, how does he keep from going broke? Tune in to hear all the details including how he didn’t want to be a submissive spending his money at first, how and why he eventually started embracing the idea he was submissive, the first time he experienced foot worship and humiliation and how he felt about it, his first post clarification clarity and how he felt, his first pro dom hourly tribute experience and what went down, how he didn’t pay to play but instead played with money and why that distinction was important to him, how and why he started paying for his friends pedicures and how and why paying turns him on, how and when he moved to Europe and he didn’t have enough money to engage at first, how he managed to play even when he couldn’t afford it, his public cash meets he set up and what exactly goes down at them, how much they cost and how and why here isn’t any sex going down, the different types of financial doms you can hire and how they differ, where he finds his doms, how and why he has learned a lot from twitter, how and why this fetish can be abusive, the financial “draining” agreements he has set up and what exactly goes down, fast drains vs slow drains and which he prefers and why, the findom party he attended and exactly what went down there including trampoling plus a whole lot more. **To see anonymous pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Strictly anonymous podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. The Craigslist is definitely like the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Santa Port or Thailand. You can't not do it.

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anonymous podcast. The link is in the description. Now, listen, today is a Fetish Friday episode. We are talking about Fendom. I've been excited or I've been looking actually. I was excited to have, when I got this guy's email, Bash, because I have been waiting and wanting to have this fetish on my show because it's out there and it's a big thing. It's called Fendom and it's financial domination and it's fascinating to me and I wanted to know all the details about it. I've never had somebody on really just talking about it. So when he did email me, Bash, and said he was really into it, I was excited to have him on. And he wasn't always into it.

It was interesting because this was a guy who was into BDSM and he had some kings and some fetishes. It all started with a little bit of foot worship for him, but he was into a lot of other kind of humiliation things. He actually rejected Findom at first. And he explains that whole journey, how and why he rejected it at first. and then how and why he changed his mind on it and then became really into it. Of course I asked specifics like how much you pay, what do you give and all that kind of stuff, but he really talks about his journey, like where he found his girls that were into Fendom, Twitter is a big place, then camming.

And he grew up in a country where things were not really out in the open. So he couldn't do much when he was younger. And he talks about the stuff that he was. He did when he was younger and lived in his country. There were some pro doms that were included then, as well as a friend that he could always go to and that hooked him up and gave him his humiliation, Fendom experiences. But then he moved to Europe and he was able to explore more. He got into FetLife and he went to munches and he went to parties and he met people. And then he, you know, started to really get into Fendom and have relationships with people.

he ends on a story where he had like three pro doms, not pro doms, three girls all humiliating him at one time. He talks about, you know, the specifics of that. But he just gets into the details about how it works, where he found the girls, how much he pays, what goes down, why he has control over this fetish and why that's important. Because listen, you know, if you're into a... Vindom, it could ruin you if you don't have control over it. And a lot of times a fetish is very powerful. He happens to have control over it. He also happens to be a very good speaker on the topic. So I just had to like sit there and let him do his thing. And he just talked and explained it all.

His story is super fascinating. You learn all about Findom and everything that's included as well as other kinks. I mean, he talks about trampling. He's very into trampling. I'm like, what the fuck is that? He explains it. So anyway, I'm just going to be a... right back on with Bash. Hi, Bash. Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast. How are you today? I'm all right. Thank you. Thank you for having me. No, thank you for writing in because you want to talk about something that I've been dying to have on my show. I have talked a teeny bit about fin dom here and there. Finn Dom is like financial domination. I mean, you do a lot of other things and we're going to talk about all that too, but a big part of what you

have done and been into is Fendom. And for people that don't know what that is, why don't you explain? Because it is something that I've heard from other people on private calls that I've had with them. It's like so fascinating to me. It's basically, I'm just going to explain it. It's basically like you become like turned on by giving women or maybe, I mean, it could be a guy, somebody else like all your money. Right? I mean, is that the best way to explain it? Roughly speaking, all the money I would have reservations on that. But yeah, let's go ahead and unpack it a bit. Yeah, so basically it's just another form of a BDSM relationship,

a submissive and the DOM relationship whereby the core of the dynamic is managed by the fact that the submissive is giving up a portion of his finances for the dominant. And so in this sense, the words and the definitions could be, or the terminology's used could be alluding to something different. In this sense, of course, it can take into an extreme whereby it's completely controlled.

It is dominated entirely by the dom and the relationship, though I would say this represents a very tiny, bit of the population in this and more or less it is dominating a certain amount of money that the submissive is willing to use in this dynamic right so now when did you realize that you were into that part of it that part of BDSM because I've heard I never really heard that it was connected to BDSM but it makes sense yeah so well so everyone has this different story, right? Yeah.

I want your story. Yeah. I'll certainly speak at length at that. So how mine started and how it could be different than other elements of Findon is that Fintom alone can be a fetish or a king in itself. So it would be turned on by the fact that they're sending their money and they're giving up their money without other overlap. not being kings and fetishes attached to it. So that would be it, you know? Yeah.

But there are nuances of that, of course, whereby it includes other fetishes such as humiliation or a typical dump-sub relationship. So my story is that actually on the get-go on the onset, I refused it. I hated it so much. I had rejected it. I didn't want to take part of it. And part of me was really kind of enraged or a bit angry at the fact that if someone is submissive, I felt like Fendom is abusing this kind of sexual orientation or preference for the pleasure, it's being abused, basically, by attaching some financial reward or incentive in order to, experience your submission, which is, it sounds unfair because in most cases you haven't

chosen this, but it has chose you in a sense. Your fetishes and your likes are, of course, constructed socially, but it's very difficult to say, oh, now I will stop enjoying humiliation or being submissive just because there is a financial attachment to it. So I was a avid rejection of this fact saying, no, I would never do that. I would never pay money or spend my money to experience being submissive. Right. And so, and even I went on writing about it in whatever, you know, anonymous blogs or websites existed back then. I think the most recent one, and I say recent seven years ago was on Fat Life, where I had this long post of how I viewed Fyndom as an abusive,

inherently abusive fetish or kink. But then I think this was due to the fact that I was only learning about it through perhaps what I was reading, what I was researching, and pornography, which is not ideal to make a judgment of, of course. So what happened is I, where I come from originally, it's a slightly conservative country, right? And so I noticed or I started to embrace the idea that I'm submissive, and I had those typical, so to speak, kings and fetishes from foot worship to humiliation, verbal humiliation, trampling and these kind of things. but given the setting of where I was born and raised, this was, I wasn't out open about it

and there was not much avenues to explore. So what I ended up doing is speaking, I had perhaps the first experience was with a friend of mine, a female friend of mine, and one time I did confess to her kind of this side of me. and she was willing to try it. So there at this point there was no fendom, right? So it was the first time I experienced foot worship, humiliation, being the submissive.

What kind of humiliation stuff were you into? It was verbal mostly. Verbal, yeah, yeah. So being called all various names and stuff. And so that was pretty nice and pretty perfect. And of course, being scarce for what it is in my hometown, I clinked a bit too much on it because that was the only source to experience this, right? And that certainly didn't bode well with her at all after a period of time. And understandably so.

So then, a desperation cold. And I really needed to experience this again. It gave me such a euphoria. I really enjoyed it and I want more of it. And I have to say that along the line with this, the issue is I never struggled socially in terms of speaking out, making friends or even asking girls out. That was always okay with me. That was always, it's not always not challenging, but I wouldn't say I had more difficulties

in doing so. I could really get girlfriends and I was dating a lot and everything, but the social setting of my hometown is very conservative on that end and I wasn't always comfortable in speaking out as that I am a guy who doesn't want to perform the traditional masculine kind of expectations that they have yeah so out of this desperation we had so I was like okay that's it so I'll have to go for a pro dom and have a session and this is how I would experience it again And then, of course, this is versus money, right? It's against money.

You just don't get a session without paying for it. Yeah. So I had to do it. And I didn't feel great. I was a bit annoyed about it, but I went and I did it. And of course, maybe, I mean, on your show, this has been discussed before, but after it finished, and of course there is some gratification, I'm not in some entire gratification that comes out of that session.

There is this, the post, what it's called referred to as the post-gratification clarity, right? Uh-huh. Whereby you go like, what the fuck did I do, right? If I'm using the wrong word. And so that made it a bit feel a bit worse. It's like, okay, not only did I, you know, it only lasted an hour. I relatively paid what I would spend a week. And that's it.

And okay, it was nice, but that's it. That is not, it's not a lifestyle kind of thing. It's a one-time, one-hour thing that I can only do one-month. So is that what I want? Is that how I want to live this desire of a one-month, one-time session? Because certainly I could not afford going more. It's not that cheap. And so there was one foreign dom visiting my hometown.

And I reached out to her and I told her, okay, listen, I've read and I've watched in porn this fin-dom thing. And this happens not to be on the pornography side. It doesn't happen, of course, like reality, surprise. But it does happen in a way that so the dominant is kind of seducing her. submissive into signing off his assets and whatnot. So I asked her like, okay, so how about, because I'm not very comfortable with this, how about the hourly tribute, can it also come into play? Can it also be part of this?

Can it be part of financial domination? And then instead of walking in paying the money up for, and then resuming whatever the session is going to be, then we integrated. And luckily, I asked the right person in a sense that she was very experienced in that, and she said absolutely. And this is the turning point.

This was the experience where how she did it, how she went about it, made entire difference. And what she did is did not make. make it about the money. She made it about the submission, the dynamic. And she used the money as part of the play. So we technically not, I didn't pay to play. I played with money, technically. So she would, she, she texted me before the session and she requested that I send a photo of the, of the stashed cash. How much was it? discussion.

If I remember correctly, it was around $300 to $350. Okay. Dollars, yeah. So, yeah, so she asked for the photo, and of course, this followed up with statements, like, that's very good that you've prepared my money that I own, blah, blah, blah. So she already put it in the game. She already asked for it to be that I, it's not that I am paying for a recession, but what I am doing is I am having to sacrifice this money for having the pleasure of submitting to her.

Yeah. And that kicked differently. That had an entire different sensation to me than what I thought it plays out to be. So I think this was a major turning point. I enjoyed it a lot. And even after it was done, this post-clarity, post-calification clarity that we called, didn't exist in that time. It was like, okay, no, like this was all part of the play. I didn't just pay to get this.

I used money as a toy within this play. Right. See the difference. It's interesting that you didn't get that was the difference before, you know, that you had to actually experience it. Like I would think that's the way it's always set up, you know, that they would use it as a part. It's not transactional sex. It's not like if you go to an escort and you pay them, you know, it's pay for play. It's not like that.

I would assume it's like this. But it's interesting that looking out for you, you never realize that it would be this way. Do you know what I mean? Exactly. Absolutely. I mean, there is a good, I would say it's a minority, but there's a good chunk where it is transaction. And that transactional aspect is what turns them on. Oh, right.

Yeah, because I could see how that could be very humiliating. Like, someone could have that as their kink, right? Like, that humiliating aspect of, like, you just have to fucking pay or you're not getting anything kind of thing. But this is a little bit more nuanced. It's kind of still the same thing if you really think about it, but it's more nuanced and there's more, like, role playing going on. Exactly, exactly.

Yeah. So then I started to embrace it. I was like, okay, now I see how it can be... A turn-up. Yeah, and how it can feed into my likes without rejecting that entirely. But then, of course, so part of me was like, okay, but then, of course, if I go to protons, that will always be the case, because anyway, they're doing it for money, right? Yeah.

So there's me being me, is just that doesn't... doesn't add too much to the sacrifice. It doesn't add too much to the humiliation, because anyway, this is what they want to do. This is their job, and that's perfect. But I then thought, actually, if someone is not a pro-dom, this is exactly when it becomes extremely or a bit more humiliating, not to say the word extremely. That would be an overstatement. So then, so that period, I remember the initial friend who I first experienced this with. We just like, okay, I cling too much. We ended things again on a good term.

We had very good communication since we were dating anyway. So it was like, I'm being too clingy, we'll stop that. And then I went, I reached out to her and then I said, listen, I think I grew up a bit on this and I had several other experiences. So if you want to experience it again, I would not be as clingy as I was. because now I know my outlets for it. So she was a bit hesitant at first, but of course her hesitation was basically based on how this experience could go like again.

And so we kept speaking, thinking of whether this could be viable option. So I was like, okay, how about since I have this food fetish and food worship king, I offered that I pay for her pedicure. Oh, okay. Interesting. Yeah. So I was like, listen, why don't we do that? Why don't you, if you feel hesitant, if you feel like what's in it is not entirely satisfactory. Why don't we do that? Why don't I offer to do this? And then this way we can play afterwards. and suddenly this reluctance and hesitation to play again disappeared and it's just like, yeah, okay, I make, let's do that.

And of course, maybe now I label it a bit harshly. She's a very nice girl, but I mean, that was certainly an excellent incentive that she went for. And that was, again, a great experience. I've known her, I've played with her, I know her type, what she does and what she likes and what she doesn't like. She knows what I like, what I don't like. And then I did tell her about this whole Fendom thing. And I told her, you know, this, I didn't offer it as something to entice you.

Only I really offered it because it does turn me on this way. I do feel like this could be something I have to pay or I have to contribute to, at least, because this gives you this pampering, this, you. get yourself, you know, you take care of yourself for being you as a dominant. And she liked that. We continued doing that for a while. And it was not much more than, you know, a few dinners here and there integrated within the play or if you spas and pedicures and manicures here and there. So it wasn't something more than that. So yeah, but that was all back when I was in my hometown, right? But then I eventually left because I knew this is not

where I wanted to live. This is not what I wanted to be. So I did eventually get out. And I moved to Europe and the entire scene is different. It's more open. There's parties. Suddenly, Fat Life and all other platforms became even more busy and there's much more access, much more knowledgeable people about this. But of course, this also meant that there's just so much more fendom out there than I initially had brought. Actually, like on Twitter, it's all over. It's a massive amount. And so it became extremely excessive, right?

So, of course, as a student who had left his home town, I was on a pretty, pretty tight budget. So a couple of years went by where it was not even possible unless I want to starve myself. And I'm really happy that I had some control. And I mean, this we can get to, after my stories this kink this fetish

is pretty scary if someone obsesses and loses control it can be home wrecking of course yeah so but somehow there was this fear inside of me saying if you start doing this

at this very tight budget you get yourself in so much trouble so don't and that isn't nice this strong of course, but money is scarce anyway for everyone. So it wasn't, it was hurtful. I mean, not hurtful, frustrating because you know you like it, you know you want to do it,

but at the same time, you know you can't. But anyway, it had to be stopped because otherwise it would have been problematic. So I managed to hold it and then I tried to, and then I looked for some part-time jobs when I settled in and I had the right to work actually because it was, for the first. the years as a foreigner I didn't have the right to work. I started to explore a bit of it. And it was mostly, actually, I would not call them friends. That would be, it was more of an acquaintance, or maybe oftentimes they started off as strangers entirely. And I would, if I reflect on it, they would still be strangers because I would have only met them once or twice

for the particular purpose of friend. So it would be either through Twitter or through Fat Life, where this is explicitly what we're doing. I don't know much about them. I don't know a lot about them, but I know that they're into this and they can give me that experience and then we just go for it. So what it ended up being

is what is currently referred to as cash meets. So we would meet for the purpose of giving cash, right? And it will of course happen in a humiliating way while kneeling or something like that. Mostly in a public place, but kind of discrete public place. And then that's it. And then, of course, there's exchange of texts or whatnot that are, in all essence, sexual, of course. How much money?

What does the cash mean? How much were you giving for those meetups? So these were much less. So it varies between 50 to 100. Right. It's all dependent on. And how much sex do you get for 50 or 100? Like full on sex?

Is there any sex? Is it just foot worship? I mean, you know, what's going down? Yeah. So actually nothing's going down, right? So it is a bit of, there could be a bit of foot worship. But again, we're in a discreet public place. So not much can go.

Oh, okay. So it really, so this is just like for play for you. I mean, I wonder, is that what the sub gets out of it? It's the kind of tease and denial, because you're not really getting your pleasure, but maybe that's a part of it, right? That's what you would find. Precisely.

Right, exactly. That's what I always forget. That's what the person like you wants, not to get off, right? The torture of it all. Precisely, yeah, it does not. And then whatever happens is controlled by that person later or via communication.

text messages or calls, whatever it is. Yeah. But it's never physical. And of course, I'll be very honest, this is not my ideal scenario. Okay. Not to get anything out of it. If the entire relationship is based on that, then, of course, after three, four times of just doing this, it would get a bit too much for me personally.

Again, others will have it the other way. Yeah, totally. So then I was like, okay, I need to. have a more, a better connection with these domes or whoever is playing that role of a dominant. So I was like, okay, I got, but again, I'm back. I moved to Europe, so this was more understood. I could speak about it openly. And I had one experience where it was much more than just the Fendom kind of thing.

It was part of it. It started this way, and then it moved on to be a full. on domination and submission kind of relationship and giving that money was not limited to just when we meet. We could meet and not have to play with money. Most of the cases it did, but there was just a normal dominant and submissive relationship with FNOM included in it.

And a lot of times it was just sending the money via whatever, all the platforms that you can instantly send money now. So it's just like we didn't have to meet sometimes if she requested something or if she wanted to, she felt like playing with it. And of course, I would say she, but also me, you know, sometimes I would ask, do you have any, you know, expense that you'd like to cover, to be covered or something like that? And then without necessarily having to meet, it's just send that whatever that expense was, whether it was dinner with her friends or drinks or whatever. and then when we both have time we would meet and then we could either bring up Findom again or we just play our do our thing and but she would always remind me of that time or that previous experience where I sent she would bring it up she would say you know when you paid for the drinks with my friends

that felt really good and that I felt that you should do that and it is your duty to do that and all that humiliation that comes with it. You also did talk about that you get, we're into cuckolding. Do you did, is this where that started with this person? Because you had a long-term relationship with her.

Yeah. So yes, this is, it didn't start exactly there, but this is where the liking started. So yeah. So at this wonderful time, we got,

we matched on it, communication was perfect. She understood me entirely. I understood her. and we were able to integrate that into the prey. I got more than just the financial aspect of it, and then I wanted more. I told her I wanted more,

and we then thought about, okay, she's bisexual. So back then, she was absolutely not interested in guys, so that's why we didn't really date. I was just her submissive. And then she said, okay, I want to date this. girl who I really like. And then this is where it started to become a bit of co-holding because she said, okay, you know, this I'm really not interested in guys, let alone guys like you who enjoy this and are

willing to pay money for it. I really just enjoy the superior gender of the female. And, you know, this dynamic started to be created whereby I'm kind of cock-holded. by her girlfriend kind of thing so I then was like okay this is interesting and even it is even more humiliating and then

I was yeah that level of humiliation that I was so desiring and craving was beginning to be met so then of course me being the geek I am I went back and he said what the hell is happening to me and explored all this world of God called in

and so then yes this is where it's And so how did that start? I mean, is it her being with women or her being with men? So she only stayed with this one woman. And again, 21st century, everyone is on the move, right? So again, I have to move cities. It was made no sense to continue this. So in the next city, now I'm a new resident in a new city, but with a much bigger baggage of experience, and I know more what I want and what I'm looking for. But of course, there's this period where before you start going to munches and parties, get to me, so that I would just reach out to those financial doms. and there is, I mean, initially to speak, you would need to pay a certain amount of a small tribute.

And that would usually range between 20 to 30 dollars, pounds, euros, whatever your currency is. And then you get to speak. And then in most cases, they would ask you, okay, so what are your kings, right? So are you into feet, into humiliation, cuck holding, what is it? so that moving on, they can integrate it within the play. And sometimes the responses, of course, is just, you know, phantom is my thing. And that's it. That's the only fetish one has.

And so there's all sorts of experiences there. There is the very, you know, very new college girls who are doing it to help themselves out. I ain't fair enough. There's no judgment there, of course. But of course, their experience is entirely different. And there is the extremely luxurious. financial domes. Those that are you're speaking about tributes in the thousands. Yeah, I had a guy that called in on the DL and he told me about his story and he sent me a link to the girl that was taking

his cash and he was sent in her a lot of cash, okay, like a lot. And she was like, on a scale of 10, she was like 100. I mean, she was like, oh my God. And I was like, oh, she got into the right business. I mean, you. Yeah. You know? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, there's a large spectrum out there. And, of course, couldn't afford these ones. No, see, even if I could, I think there is a point where I would say, no, this is far too much. You know, I just keep thinking that what this could be instead used for. I understand.

I understand it as a fetish. I'm not only understanding it. I've embraced it. I will keep doing it. Right. But you have your grip on it. And I think that's good. I think it's really good that you're able to, at times, when necessary, stand outside of yourself and know that this is something that you need to be in control of because it can lead to something bad. And that's great for you because other people who don't do that are the ones who wind up in trouble because sometimes a fetish can really control you if you're not aware of the control that it has over you. But you are aware of it. And I think that is to your benefit for sure. Absolutely, absolutely. And I can't thank, I can't thank Twitter enough.

I hope you know, being on Mosler, not listen to this. I can't thank Luther enough for getting this experience of understanding my limits. Because if there is at any point a situation where this would be abusive, it would be on Twitter or, for that matter, any other platform that you will never really interact physically with the DOM. Because there you can see whether there is a communication, there is interaction, or is it, you know, pay to play or action. Or if they're abusing it. So you're saying it's just more the transparency there is helpful. Is that what you're saying? Exactly. Yeah, that's interesting.

There's no way you would not spot it. If she doesn't tell you at all until she wants something and she texts, say, send me $40 now. and then you might do it the first time, and you might get a rush from it. And then by the second, third time, you would notice, is, okay, there's absolutely no connection being built there. It's just give her the money. Right, right. And if this is not what you're into, then you'd say, okay, you'd push the brakes.

And then other ones that I would say, there was plenty of very good experiences as well on Twitter, whereby they are really engaged, they really want to get to know the person build that relationship and the amounts of money doesn't matter to them. How do you find those people on Twitter? I mean, are you putting in Findom? I mean, like, what is the code words

on there to find those girls that offer those services in case somebody has found this episode and they're like you and they're into it? Like, how do they find those people? Because I would never even know that exists on Twitter. Yeah. Well, yeah, if they search the hashtag Findom

or not without the hashtag, they would find plenty. Sometimes they could find it under Findom with a like dom D-O-M-E like a dumb. Yeah. And they could find it under pay pigs, cash slaves. Pay pigs, right. I remember they're hearing that term once.

Uh-huh. Yeah, cash slaves as well. So if they just search them, there would be plenty. Now I know that you... Yeah, I know that you also, though, got into... You had somebody in the camming world, too, correct? Yeah. So, I mean, a lot, a significant amount of those on Twitter are also on the camming.

Right. So on the now famous websites without doing any advertisement. And so then you would just move it there oftentimes because they would just, you can see some coming, some video, some more. You can hear, you can feel the person more, right? Yeah. without the actual touching sense but other senses. And there, so again, so there, when you do it with calming, it mostly entails the idea that,

so for listeners who are just getting to know this for the first time, this is where the idea of draining comes. And so I'll tell you what that means. It's basically draining, it's basically draining the wallet or the bank account. Now, this sounds extremely harsh, but it's not draining it entirely for it to be zero. It's an agreement whereby, okay, it's like, let's go for the, I don't know, 100, 200, whatever it is that the agreement is, but we do it in increments in a form of a session

whereby it's being drained from the tub. Yeah. Yeah. So they would start with, let's say, a tenor, and this would just be like the open. and then she would tease him, deny him, humiliate him. And then he, ideally, right, the sub would want more and then say, okay, now you give, you send another 10. And it keeps going on that until they've reached the amount, which was set as the limit.

So it's the 100, 200, 500, $500,000, whatever it is. What have you, but like you're saying him, like for, in your experience, when you've done this draining the, draining the bank account, what have you set up as your limit? once I had it up to 400 in one go okay in one go so

yeah but again so then that yeah that was my extreme case I would say but that was two tons at the same time oh wow that's not bad to get two for 400

yeah it's not I mean yeah it's yeah it's I mean, I hate to give that connotation of whether it's a good deal. I'll make the connotation. I'm looking from the outside in. I'm just talking about how other people who are just like me are like seeing the situation. But I get for you, it's a totally, you're living in a very different world where this whole experience.

Like I said, it's like role playing. You know, you're seeing it in a very different way, like I said, because that's the way you have to see it. I'm just looking at it, you know, as the outsider. So a lot of people that are listening to this episode are, you know, there's two people that are going to be listening to this episode. People who are into this like you and see it from your side, you know, and then people who are just curious about it like me and who see it in a different way and, you know, appreciate my ridiculous questions about like how much and stuff. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. No, it's a very good question.

Yeah. But I mean, it is just like, I think for it to be also healthy and understood properly, the move up. away from thinking of it as a deal or as, because then it makes it very transactional or consumerist. Of course. Yeah. That's the antithesis. And you've been, I mean, you're a very good talker.

I'm assuming that's why you wrote a lot of stuff on those blogs and stuff that you said, because you have been explaining and painting the picture very well. I just always like to also take it back to you instead of talking so much a big picture to be like, what is your experience? You know, how much have you done? Because I'm assuming, and let me just ask you this real quick. get back to you just doing your thing and talking. I'm assuming that you're single all this time. You're not doing this behind anyone's back. You still sound young to me. Like you're not in any

kind of marriage or anything. This isn't something that you're doing behind anyone's back, right? Yeah. I mean, yes, generally I have not. I had instances where I have. Yes, I did. But I mean, you wouldn't, I mean, these weren't serious relationships. Right, right. You're just still not married or anything like that. Like you're not in that phase of your life yet, right? So you're just doing this as a single person, this is what you're into and you're having these experiences. Okay, sorry, go on now. You're talking, you were talking about draining the bank account stuff and the cam girls. Yeah. Yeah, so that was, so again, you know, again, we go back to my notion of what is humiliating sometimes at certain point when I've experienced it enough is it becomes, doesn't become.

So I was like, okay, how about I go for two? Because a dynamic of two doms humiliating you is different than one. They get more creative because just just two voices. is two brains, two thoughts. And there's also the dynamic between them that they can build. Whereas one-on-one, she can just build it with me and she ran out of ideas eventually, perhaps. So I went for two. And I said they were not friends as well, right?

They were just on, I mean, they called themselves friends, but they've never met two different places in the world. But they just happened to be on Twitter and those coming websites. So this is when I had this 400. drain, quote unquote, for both of them. So I think that was 200 each, right? And yeah, this, yeah, this is how, I think it was around an hour maybe, actually, over an hour. So of course, so then there's another terminology.

There's the fast drain, which goes like in two, three minutes, four minutes, five minutes. And I, and there's the slow drain whereby it's. Yeah. Yeah. And I think this is what interested me because what I do is that I don't have it. I don't say, okay, I'm going to go for some fin-on now between eight and nine. So we set up an appointment. No, I think the idea of it is that it can creep in to whatever you're doing at any point in your day.

And it gives you such a rush and gives you such a – it gives me particularly something to look forward to every hour of the day. And so then it would be, you know, I'm at work and you send something, you get some whatever it is, mostly, you know, it could be just being a good pay big response or being given something more humiliating, whatever it is. And then the interaction would stop. And then like in an hour or two, I don't know, she would buy a cup of coffee and then she would send. a photo of that coffee and asked me to reimburse it and then I'd send again. And so this would go on, this is just a $5 thing or a $10 thing, right? And it's like as if you invited there for a cup of coffee, as if I invited there for a cup of coffee.

And so this would go on the entire day. It's not like I'm sitting at a particular hour engaging in this. And of course, if it's coming, then of course that has to happen because they also have to be sitting. But otherwise, it would be across the day. And that would be more of the slow drain, right? Because it's throughout the day when you least expect it or you just don't know when it's coming and it's divvied out slowly as opposed to the fast drain where it happens at one time really quick. 100%.

Yeah. And to me, this is what I loved about it. Yeah. Because I don't know during the day when I'm going to experience something that will satisfy me, So it is at least, and denial, I'm not getting, you know, the gratification physically. Yeah. But it is certainly a mental orgasm. I would certainly label it as a mental orgasm.

So, yeah, I mean, but I stopped doing Twitter. I mean, I do sometimes, I admit, but not much because now I got more integrated into the city that I live in. and I met other kinky people at munches and parties and I came about after I trusted them because again, if there is one thing I would tell anyone who's interested in this, make sure you trust the person make sure that they are not into this to take your money even if you can afford it.

It doesn't fit the same. So yeah, so I spoke about it to one of the someone I met in a Femdom party that I attended. And after we actually met several times, it was just only play. It was foot worship, humiliation, ball busting, trampling, these kind of things. And then I opened up.

I built that trust with her. And I opened up and I told her, you know, this is what I like. This is my experience in Fendom. I want to explore it with you. I think you're a good person to do that with. But I also told her about talk holding. And it also told her about the fact that I did it with two doms at the same time.

And the fact that makes me a bit of a community kind of submissed. It is enough, but it's not always enough to just have one. So it's like, I want to do it with you and I want you to be core. but I also want you to think about times where you would have me used with others. With others. Whether it's a situation or another dom. And so, well, we already did.

She arranged a party several months ago with two other friends of hers, but also were in the scene. So I've also met them at parties and munches. they weren't entirely not there. And we had an entire personalized play party where it also involved Fendom in it. So we had from the traditional things we do, from me serving them, being at their feet,

all the foot massages, the foot stoves, the foot worship, the humiliation, the trampling, the ballbusting, but also all along getting them, getting to give them cash physically. But wait, could I just paint the picture for this party? Because we have like another 10 minutes

and I want to hear the details of this party because it sounds interesting. But like at first I was thinking, oh, it's two other men and she's going to dom you all because it's a cuckolding situation. Or are you saying that this party, the two other people that were there were other women and they were all doms and doming you?

Yes. Solo. Oh, okay. Okay. Three women, three moms. Three. I was the only submissive there. Okay.

And I was supposed to, you know, do all the things that they kind of request on command. But also we had agreed that it would also be fined on. And I had this small fanny pack around my hips. I don't think I'm a cash. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

And then they played with cash, basically. Yes, exactly. And then they played with it. They made sure that it's not something that I had to kind of put out there before I get anything. Of course, yeah. As they're seducing me and as they're getting me into the sub-space, we were doing it. And the limit was already preset, right? So all what's in the Fannie Pack can go because anyway, this is the budget that we've assigned.

Yeah. What was it? You know what I mean. I like those facts. How many? Yeah. And I like to give those facts, too. Okay, good.

It was 600. Okay. Again, for the age. Uh-huh. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. So what goes down at that party?

Okay, like there's a lot of, you said that there was foot worship. And you keep saying trampling. Okay. Can you just explain that a little bit? Because, you know, we probably do a whole episode on trampling and all the stuff that you're into. But could you just explain what that means? Yeah, sure.

So trampling is when the submissive lays down flat on the back and basically you're stepped on by the doms. And of course not just stepped on, like step on and off. It's a longer period of time where they're stepping on your chest, your face or other parts if one is willing. And it's done also in a dominant and humiliating way whereby, you know, you're technically. a carpet or a door mat for them to feel their power over you. Interesting. Do they have high heels on or barefoot? Both. Both. Aye, aye. Yeah, go on.

Yeah, I go for both. You go for both. Let me ask you, because you seem so thoughtful and you've probably done a lot of research into all of this. And, you know, you seem very self-aware. I'm wondering if you've ever thought back in your life, like to your childhood or what, like, do you, have you ever made any kind of connections of where you think this part of you comes from? Yeah, of course, I'm actually doing my graduate studies and I'm doing a PhD and I just love to research those stuff. Yeah, I could tell.

Yeah, I can tell by the way you talk. Uh-huh. So tell me, what do you think? What have you come up with? Let's leave our last five minutes with your analysis of yourself. Yeah, so no, I would not say anything. in my childhood and anything to do with all. In fact, it's the entirely opposite. I grew up in a patriarchal society. You particularly may understand, because I know half of your side of origins. Yeah. And I come from the same place.

Yeah. It's very patriarchal. The woman were subjected to it. Whether this could have meant that, oh, I want to see it flipped. Yeah, yeah. Maybe. Maybe I cannot test this hypothesis, right? But to say that I had any particular childhood, relatively to that environment, my core family was open.

So I wasn't, you know, subjected to any form of violence or molestation or oppression or women or something. No kind of humiliation or anything like that that you could go back to me. No. No. No. So I am actually, I, as a scientist, every time I read this or I hear this, is like, oh, try to. tracing back how submissive men became submissive. I go, there isn't enough evidence to suggest either of these hypotheses, you know, put everyone out there. You want to think about it. You want to put it as a possibility.

Fair enough, it could be a possibility. But the evidence does not suggest that those who had particular childhood experiences turn out to be this or the other. No, and I actually, no, but I also, because a lot of times when I get people on who are into degradation or humiliation, stuff like that. People will make comments, especially over on YouTube. I love YouTube as a platform because people do get in conversations about the episodes, but people will come on there and bring up things like, oh, you know,

this person must have had a terrible childhood if they're into that. And, you know, I've had a lot of people come on to speak of BDSM in the proper terms to really explain it to people. But I think just people still, like, listen with blinders on, you know, and they just want to believe, like if someone is into pain or, you know, or whatever, that there's something fucked up about them. But I remember, and I don't remember exactly what it was that I found, but I remember sending an article to someone like,

look, this is where it could come from. It's not necessarily some sort of dysfunctional thing that shows up. You know, and it was something that Esther Peril, who's like so brilliant, you know, I'm sure you know of her. She's like that very famous sex therapist. She was talking about where it comes from and the roots of it. And it's not so much, if it's not for, your childhood. It could be from, you know, it's like the caveman times. I forget what it was,

the actual analysis of it, but it doesn't always have to be that is the case. So I was hoping you had that answer. So if it wasn't from your childhood, like where does that come from, that interest and pain, being pleasurable and humiliation? Yeah, no, childhood. I personally, I think it traces back to the mere fact that I just, you know, initially growing up, I watched all these superheroes, you know, like the Xena, the Xenas, Zena, whatever name. Yeah, yeah, the warrior princess. Yeah. Yeah.

Even Mortal Kombat, for that matter, you know, there's this strong female figure in Mortal Kombat going around, kicking male men's asses. And so maybe that while I was, you know, I do think fondly of these moments while I watched them. I do remember I found it extremely nice. And there was the thing I go to most when I was watching those kind of things and growing up. But I think this is as much as I can trace it back, to be honest. I had thought about Xena and all these women as potentially, you know, the woman I would like to end up with. Perhaps, yeah, I would, I certainly go for the strong woman.

I certainly am attracted to the strong woman. absolutely not attracted to the non-strong or the non-independent or the ones with submissive tendencies, so to speak. Yeah, you should look into Esther Pearl because she has a lot, she writes a lot on BDSM and stuff. And like I said, I always try to explain it to people because they always sort of make those references back. And I think even I, before I did my show, would have always assumed that, oh, there must have been something in your childhood that made you into being humiliating. maybe you were humiliated at a young age, something like that, you know, and I'm sure that's a case some of the time. But I forget what she said, but she does talk a lot about it and explains that dynamic and why people are some people are wired to be interested in pain and where that sort of concept and role playing comes from, the deeper need for it and the desire for it. And it's super interesting.

And I wish I had done research before I got on this call with you, so I would have had the answer to it. maybe I'll do it and then come back on after we hang up and explain it to my listeners because it'll be terrible if I don't. I'm going to do it. That's what I'm going to do. And then I'm going to cut right into this and I'm going to explain to people. So give me two minutes. We're going to say goodbye and then I'm going to explain.

But look into what she says about it because I think you'll find answers to, you know, to why you're into it since it's not traceable back to anything that happened to you. And what I'm going to do is go back and read the stuff that I've read and give my little synopsis of what she talks about and she's a smart bitch. I love her and I think it is important to explain that aspect of it as well because so that the people on YouTube are not going after you saying all this kind of stuff, you know. Because people do make like judgments. What? I'm used to it by now though so they can have their time. Yeah, but I'll shut it down with my analysis of what I take from what she says and where she says it comes from because it's super

interesting. I will come back on and talk about it. But listen, what the fuck did we call you? I forget your made-up name. Oh, Bash. Listen, Bash. Thank you so much for calling in and talking all about Findom. I've been dying to have this on as an episode. It will be on a fetish Friday coming up, either this Friday or two Fridays from now, because I do every other Friday a fetish Friday. I might have to do this Panios one for the CEO this Friday. So if not, it'll be the next Friday. But thank you so much for calling in and explaining your whole story. It was super interesting. And you were like so great at telling the story. I didn't really have to talk much. So you made my job easy. Yeah. I'm glad. Thanks so much for having me. And I hope it was good for

everyone to listen. It was. People will find it fascinating. Like I said, there'll be two people listening. People like me who are just curious about it. And you gave really interesting stats on for the person that's curious, but also I think that there'll be a lot of guys that are listening to us because they have this as their king too. And I think you really spoke to those people as well. So it was like a great episode. Thanks so much for calling in. Thanks, Katie. Thank you. Bye. Bye. So this is what I found about BDSM. It was on Esther Peril's website. It was actually a quote from Dr. Margaret Nichols. She explains this and this makes sense. So listen, BDSM,

sexual activities seem unusual to those who do not share BDSM proclivities. However, these sexual activities share much in common with activities like Ironman competitions, a penchant for skydiving, and a love of horror movies. The combination of pleasure with negative sensations is the hallmark of BDSM. It is a source of what is often called a peak experience, which many believe are an essential quest of humans once basic needs have been met. So peak experiences can be experienced as spiritual, revelatory, and healing. So, you know, it's just that these people, if not wired dysfunctionally from something that happened in their past, are wired to be into having this peak kind of experience. No different than the person who wants to jump out of the plane all the time, the

person that's into those Ironman competitions, or someone that loves to be fucking scared, okay? I have a son that has loved that since day one. Okay? It's like you were just wired for that. And that's where this comes from. And I think it is important. And I just wanted to add it in because I, like I said, I always get comments on people who don't understand the whole BDSM thing

and think it's so dark and it has to come from some sort of bad place where it's just could be that somebody is interested and wired to be into that combination of pleasure with a negative sensation and that fucking turns them on. So anyway, I hope that explains a little bit. I'm sure I'll still get comments. I hope you enjoyed my episode with Bash. I thought it was super interesting and he was a great guest. Anyway, thanks so much for tuning in. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available not only in paperback and ebook, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can

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