Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 681 - Adam was in an Open Relationship with a Self-Described Sl*t and he Trained Himself to NOT be Jealous

Episode Date: August 30, 2023

Adam was in an open relationship with a self-described slut and he trained himself to not be jealous. How did he wind up in a hardcore open relationship? How did he try to control the relationship in the beginning? And, exactly how did he get passed his jealousy and insecurities? Tune in to fond out plus hear all about how how there were threesomes and swaps and how and why wasn’t jealous then, how he met Jane and how and why he realized she was the wildest sexually open women he had ever met, how and why he thought when they started dating that she would calm don and how he reacted when she didn’t,, why he was never jealous in the past but was when he was with her, how and why being with a woman who had more sexual experience was difficult for him, how he was very into extreme sports and how when she came into the picture he was leaving that world, how he got her to commit even though she wasn't into it, how she put their ‘open relationship’ out there and how he felt about it as well as how his friends felt about it, how they had a don’t ask don't tell policy and why it didn’t work, the rules he gave her to follow and how and why she ultimately couldn’t abide by them, how her telling him stories about being with other guys started to destroy him, how and why their non monogamous relationship was bringing so up so jealousy and insecurity and how and why he wanted so hard to conquer that part of him, how he decided to use the the same techniques he used to train for sports to train himself to get over his jealousy and how and why it worked, how and why they eventually broke up plus a whole lot more. To get a FREEE copy of his book Seek the Risk email him (within one week after this episode airs) at [e-mail]  You can also buy the book here: https://www.seektherisk.net  **To see anonymous pics of ADAM plus anonymous pics of my other female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. The Craigslist is definitely like the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Singapore or Thailand. You can't not do it.

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You get Q&As that I do every now and then. I just posted one where I answer all my Patreon members' questions. They ask me all kinds of things and I answer them, very honestly, in my style, right? I'm always gone honest. You also get anonymous picks of all of my female guests. And some of my male guests send me in anonymous picks too nowadays. So if you want to put a body to an episode, all the bodies, okay? And a lot of them are really effing hot or on my Patreon as,

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over there. People get super naughty on my Discord. I'm not a part of my Discord. I run the Patreon. My Discord is attached to it. If you want to be a part of that community though, you have to sign up through my Patreon. But it's only $5 a month. It's really cheap. It's a really great deal. I'm going to eventually raise it when I get around to it.

So if I re-wit, lock it in out, five bucks a month. Patreon.com slash strictly anonymous podcast. It's patreon.com slash strictly anonymous podcast. Now, my caller today is a guy, and he sent me in a pick of himself, an anonymous pick of himself. It's over on my Patreon. His name is Adam, quote, unquote. Adam did write a book, okay, called seek the risk. He has a great story, a real-life true story, of being involved with a highly,

highly sexualized, open into sex woman. Okay? Like, I have some hardcore girls on my show. She would be one of them if she came on. Her favorite sex act was double penetration. I mean, she would be having it every single time. Like, that's how she rolled.

Three-sons, four, gang bang, Bukakis, never was she interested in having a relationship, let alone a monogamous relationship. She went to fuck whoever she wanted at whenever she wanted. And this guy, Adam, fell for her. Now, Adam also happened to be before he met her in the whole extreme sports world. That's what he did before he took the risk and tried to date her. Okay. He was jumping on a planes, climbing mountains, all that kind of crazy shit, right? Extreme sports. he was doing that and at the same time that he gave up that world he wound up hooking up with her now he had been in non-monogamous relationships before his girl right before her they were open they had

threesomes and stuff and couple swaps but the difference with this one when he met her and he talks about this was that this woman was way more experienced and way more open and way more into crazy things than he was. And that was the first time he ever came across that. And it freaked him out and really, you know, put him face to face with all of his insecurities and his jealousy and his issues with masculinity. Because what happened is he fell for her and he went after her. He got this like non-commitable woman. Is that the right word? To actually commit to him. But she didn't commit to monogamy. Okay, she committed to being with him and she fell for him. But once he was in that relationship, he didn't know what the fuck to do because this bitch wanted to fuck whoever she wanted to, whenever she wanted to.

He wanted some rules and regulations. He didn't want a total free for all. He was really freaked out. For the first time, he did feel jealousy. He didn't want her to fuck his friends. He didn't want her to fuck when he wasn't around. But she was like, why not? You know, she did try to change for him a little bit, but it didn't work out.

he realized he was going to have to change for her. And he actually did just that. He was super jealous, really triggered by how she was and how open she was and all the sex that she was having. So what he decided to do was train himself. The way he trained himself to get into all his extreme sports that he was into, he used that same training experience to deal with his jealousy. Does that make sense? He explains it better, okay? And it worked, okay? He figured out how to conquer his jealousy, like he conquered the side of a fucking mountain, okay?

And he talks about how he did that. It's super interesting. I think it was a really smart thing to do, and it worked. I mean, it's not like it happened overnight. He wrote a whole book about it. It was a whole long journey. But he came out on the other side of this, a changed man. They're not together anymore, but they're great friends.

after he wound up being able to deal with the openness of their crazy sexual relationship, he decided that he wasn't so into other aspects of the relationship and they did part, but he did get himself to a point where he was able to be okay in that relationship. And I think that that's super hard to do. And I think it's super interesting. Right. So many people, you know, on my show are talking about watching their partners with other people. or having a relationship where it went awry because they couldn't deal.

Well, this guy kind of falls in the middle. He's a success story, but it wasn't like success from the start. He was a guy that was like, I can't fucking do this, but then he changed. And that's the interesting thing about this story. You'll hear his whole story. You'll hear how he changed. You'll hear how he went from being super jealous to not. You'll hear the short story here.

You'll hear the hour long story, but he wrote a whole book about it. It's called Seek the Risk. And what Adam is doing for all my listeners is giving. giving you guys a free ebook if you want it. If you send him an email, Adam at seek the risk.net. I'll put that email in the intro. I mean in the description, if you email him, Adam at seekthirsk.net and tell him a little bit about yourself, he's going to send you a free ebook as long as you tell somebody else to go buy

the book. I think you're going to want to buy the book because there's a lot of SCX in it and there's a really good lesson in the story. You want to figure out how to conquer your deepest insecurities. You are going to learn that from his book. Seek the rest. But you're going to get the whole story here, the short story, but it's an hour long story. And it's super interesting.

So I'm going to be right back on with Adam. Hi, Adam. Welcome to the Strictly anonymous podcast. How are you today? I'm great, Kathy. I'm wonderful. I'm happy to be here. Good.

Well, listen, Adam. You have an interesting story. story. I love a story that kind of doesn't go well. Only because I think it's very relatable, and I think it's always people hearing stuff like this. It's like a learning lesson for other people. And I think you think that too, because you actually turned this story that people are going to hear into a book called Seek the Risk, right? You are a guy who fell for a female sexuality empowerment activist. Okay. You had an open relationship. with her. I talked to a lot of people with open relationships. And it was something that you

couldn't handle. And I think it's really interesting that you're open about that. And that's what we're going to talk about, right? Like what it brought up for you as a guy. Absolutely. Yeah. That's, I mean, that's the meat of the book is the experiences I had getting into what I called extreme non-monogamy. I mean, any non-monogyn would have been extreme at that point. But she was over the top. So yeah, that's what we're going to talk about. Oh, my God. I love it. So wait, so how did you meet her? Yeah, so I had previously, I had had flexible relationships with girlfriends where we'd have threesomes.

Oh, okay. We thought we were so risky having threesomes and or swaps. We would do a swap with another couple occasionally, just a couple times a year kind of thing. Oh, okay. We met a couple who we had a couple swaps with their website and then one day we had the couple over for dinner and they had picked up this other woman at a club who had just moved to New York City from Eastern Europe and that was the woman who became the focus of the book. I met her that night at this dinner party at my house and was totally taken with her and and over the next few

years as I got to know her more, I was still with my girlfriend. Eventually my girlfriend and I broke up and I started hooking up with this woman who was named Jane in the book and slowly we, ended up becoming into a relationship, but she was this sexual goddess or monster or depending how you look at it. It depends how you look at it. But yeah, she had an incredible reputation as just being the wildest woman you would ever meet. That couple with the fact that intellectually we just really connected a number of levels, I was basically dedicated my life to trying to be with her.

And as we got closer and started entering into a relationship, I kind of just assumed, oh, this wildness of hers, that's just going to drop away once we start being together. I couldn't have been, could not have been more wrong. Yeah. That's a thing with guys, I think. A lot of guys think it's that kind of a thing is a challenge. I'm going to reel her in, right? This wild woman. And then they realize, oh, no, that's like who she is, which is, it's kind of like, duh.

It's no different than the woman that meets the guy who's like the player. And she's like, yeah, he fucks a lot of people. I see him looking at tons of chicks, but when he falls for me, like, that's all going to go away. That's just not the case. People are who they are. They show you right from the get-go, right? It's not going to change when they fall in love with someone. No, not at all.

And just to be clear, I never thought I was going to change her. I just assumed, oh, when you start getting closer, it changes. There's this one conversation. We're about to move in together. We've been seeing each other about a year and a half. And she casually mentions, oh, she can't wait to be in the air. I live in. There's so many great guys to have sex with. And I was like, wait, you were going to continue this type of flexibility once we're living together. She's like, this is who I am. Did you

think I would change? So yeah, it's, it was a serious wake-up call for me. Yeah, and it's interesting, though, because you did meet her, like at a four-some? I mean, did you guys have sex when she came over that time during that couple swap meeting? No, it was a totally just a very G-rated dinner party. It was pleasant, lots of conversations about interesting things. She was just this, I mean, she was beautiful. She's from Eastern Europe. She was getting a PhD at an Ivy League university. Watch out. She obviously, she obviously was very much into sex. I mean, she studied sexuality. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Her PhD is in psychology. So, yeah, I was just taken, taken with her. But no, I did not meet her in the first time. Yeah. But we did like to say, what we did like to say is we were both

fucking the same couple. That's how we met. kind of like through you were fucking each other through those people right right exactly let me ask you this quickly before we get more into this relationship when you were with that girl before her did any of the stuff that came up hardcore when you were with this woman did any did you have any hints of that when you were with the previous girl because you did see her fuck other people yeah i did but it was different in that in every other relationship i I had ever been in as an adult. I had been the sexually experienced one that was sort of pulling my partner forward, right?

So while my girlfriends were edgy in their own right, I like women like that, they were definitely far lower on the experience ladder, if you will, regarding sex and sexuality. So I was always feeling like I was toning myself down to be with them, and they were sort of pulling themselves up a little bit. So I always felt like I was in control of the situation. When I got together with Jane, I was the absolute sexual neophyte here. And there's a one scene in the book when we're on like our second real date in Mexico. And we have a conversation.

We're sort of divulging to each other about our sexual histories. And I'm thinking, oh, yeah, let me tell you what I've done. And I'm like, what's your craziest? And she's, oh, I once got gang banged in Bukaki by 12 men. And I was like, oh, okay. That sounds interesting. So I was way over my head in terms of, yeah, I was the absolute sexual neophyte here. It's hard, I think.

Sometimes that's just like a guy, girl thing, a gender role thing in that with those other girls, like when you're explaining how those relationships were. It was like you were teaching them. And I think guys love that. Guys love to be in that position in a relationship. And I think they do find it way harder to be in a relationship. to be in a relationship with a woman who they are looking up to and they are teaching them. You know what I mean?

You're not the teacher in that relationship. You're the fucking student. It's kind of like you're the girl. Totally. She's the guy. Right. Yeah. I mean, what's funny is through my previous girlfriends, I was like, oh, I wish I had a girlfriend

who is more wild like I am and then I got one. So be careful what you wish for. Yeah, but you know, everything's kind of a learning lesson and we'll get there, I'm sure. But let's get back to the beginning. So you meet her, she's super hot, she's totally into sex, you and your girl breakup. And she had no other relationships. She was though into having a relationship with you? She did not, as far as I could tell, no, she didn't do relationships.

Oh, okay. She just liked to fuck. Oh, okay. A lot of different people. She was really into sex, threesomes, foursons, moresums, everything. She had quite the reputation in the New York City sort of parties. How do I get her on my show? We can, we absolutely can cross that bridge.

I can't give her real name on the I got it, I got it. But I can totally, I can totally connect you with her. I mean, she's now kind of does what you do. She's somewhat of a celebrity online and in the sexual sex education world. Sex with Emily? You fucked Emily? I mean, now I'm going to, now my mind is like what the, Emily is not having gang bangs. There's no way it's fair.

It's obviously Esther Perel is who it was. Oh, I'm obsessed with her. Oh, yeah. No, this girl is Eastern European. Okay, so that narrows it done. I'm going to be trying to guess. Okay, so you don't out her. And actually, what's interesting is you're anonymous too, right?

I mean, you're Adam, quote, unquote. Even in your book, it's not like you give out who you are. You don't give out who she is, correct? No, yeah, correct. The book is completely anonymous. Yeah, I like that. Okay, but do I have to change your voice? No, you don't have to change my voice.

Okay. No one knows my voice. Oh, okay, cool. So, isn't there a little part of this that we need to talk about as far as what you do for a living that kind of adds to the story? Well, yeah. So I spent the first, I spent my 20s competing and being in the extreme sports world as a professional in the climbing world, skydiving, base jumping, I wouldn't say that was professional.

But extreme snowboarding, that was what my life had been like up until my early 30s when I realized I should probably get a real job. And when did you meet her? I met her at 35, right in the middle of my transition to regular world from my extreme sports world. Because you had no more extremes in your life. That's why you went to her. That makes sense. Exactly. You needed the fucking thrill.

That's the joke. The book is very clear about that. This is when I started thinking about non-monogamy, the same way I thought about all my extreme outdoor activities, it became a lot easier after some initial serious struggles. And that's what the book sort of chronicles is how I slide further and further into desperation, basically. But yes, my extreme sports background was the thing that gave me the hubris to believe I could handle anything she threw at me. Yeah, because that's what you do every time you jump out of a fucking plane and then push yourself to do other crazy things. I mean, that's like in your genetic makeup to take a big fat risk. And I mean, some guy that thinks he's going to go in and conquer that bitch after she's told you,

she fucked with Bukaki gangbings. You got to be a little cray-cray. You know what I mean? You got to be wired a certain way. And you're the, you're the perfect guy. And so, but it is interesting that she decided to kind of hang her hat with you.

I mean, you said she's not the type of girl that likes to settle down and get in a relationship. But you guys were moving in together? Yeah. So initially, we meet. We, I totally am enamored with her.

But she's not so into my girlfriend. and so we weren't going to have a threesome. Initially, I was just trying to get her to join my girlfriend and I have a threesome, but she's, oh, I'm not so, I'm not so into your girlfriend. And my girlfriend and I at the time only played together. We didn't have. And I was like, oh, okay. What was wrong with your girlfriend?

Sorry, I have to cut you on. It's okay. She's one of the, she's one of those women who gets hotter the more you know her. Oh, okay. Incredibly amazing human being. But initially, it might be like, yeah, I don't see it. But what's funny is then Jane, years later, Oh my God. If I had known who she was, I totally would have fucking both that night. She's so

amazing. Right, right, right. Oh, okay. Okay, okay. Okay, cool. But anyway, so we broke up. Jane and I kept crossing. We had a lot of mutual friends in the party scene in New York. We hooked up a couple times. I described this one taxi. I was with a different girlfriend, and we were leaving a party together, and Jane jumped in the taxi with us. And she just asked my girlfriend if Jane, she could suck my cock while we're in the cab. And so I got a double blowjob from the two of them. I was like, oh, yeah, this woman is amazing. And then another, another, we had a couple more hookups. And then we had a weekend away at this, the couple that had originally introduced us, they had a retreat all the way up in the Adirondacks. And they,

once a year, they would invite like adult camp for the weekend, fun swinger, play, lake, all kinds of just fun to get away weekend. And we both went on that together and ended up just fucking the entire weekend away with together. She had not realized that I was this sort of extreme sports person. She didn't know that about me. And on that weekend, she kind of found out about it. And she had recently started getting into climbing. And she had made a skydive. And she was sort of intrigued by that. So that was, I had gotten a hook in a bit that way, which was nice. And we spend this whole weekend just incredible sex. I mean, we were fucking four times a day over these three days out in the woods. And at the end of that weekend, she's

don't fall for me. I'm not the kind of girl who has a boyfriend. And I'm like, oh, yeah, we'll see about that. Yeah, that's the thing you say to a guy if you want them to fall for you. Yeah. But anyway, so I spent the next several months sort of manipulating, conniving, and trying to get myself in a way that made her chase me, not the other way around. And unbelievably, and it worked. I don't know how, even she's, I don't know how you did that, but it was masterful. Oh, my God. That's, you need to put, you need to write that book, okay? Because it's like a pickup artist shit. Oh, it is.

Okay, good. Oh, yeah. I mean, it was, it has to be, it was a long process. It was a good sixth month to a year process of just slight manipulations. Yeah, yeah. And eventually she reached out to me and said, oh, you know what, I need you to take me climbing, by the way. I was like, yeah, we can do that. And then she's, I need you to take me surfing.

I was like, yeah, yeah, we could do that. Sure. And that's how it, that's how I put the hook in. And you got it. It was all her idea. It was all her ideas as far as she was concerned. concerned. Yeah, that's the way that you got to do it. And I want to be clear, that's the only time in my life I have ever been that good at picking someone up. I mean, it was, it was like my master,

my one, my lifetime masterpiece was that, that particular. But maybe that was the only time you had to do that. Maybe the rest of the time the girls were chasing you. I don't know. I mean, I'd sure. I'd love to believe that, but I don't think that's true. I mean, did any girl ever no fucking thank you like this girl? I'm not, don't fall for me. I think it was because she was the one girl that you couldn't get? I mean, I really liked who she was, the conversations we had around things totally non-sexual. We saw, we saw eye to eye on art, on politics, mostly. Theater, we were both total theater junkies.

We both love deep house music and gone dancing all night. We had a lot of symmetry in how we like to live our lives. Her sexuality was so far beyond my experience level that that was the one piece. I was like, oh. So, yeah, I was totally attracted to her on many levels, not just the sex. I also saw on her this opportunity to live out fantasies that I probably couldn't live out with anybody else. So that was very attractive as well?

Okay. So that weekend, was that the first time you had sex? And it was just like all weekend long. That was the first intercourse. We had hooked up blowjubs and taxi cabs, fingers here and there. We had done some fun. But that was the first time we had actually fucked. Yeah.

Okay. So now you wind up getting her to kind of fall for you. Yeah, yeah. So that she leaves that weekend end, then she's, don't fall from me. I'm the kind of girl as a boyfriend. So I'm like, shit, okay. So a couple things then happened for two months. I'm sitting here, trying to figure out how to get her to want to be with me. And again, we would cross paths. We'd see each other here and there. But then out of total randomness, up at her school where she was getting her Ph.D., one of my absolute best friends in the world was getting married in the same town. And so I just randomly called her and said, hey, I'm in town. And it was true. And so I wasn't chasing her. I just happened to be there. She was like, hey, great, let's grab coffee. So we went to have coffee.

And then at the end of the coffee, she said, want to go fuck in the parking lot in my car? Oh, my God. I was like, yeah, let's do that. And again, we said goodbye and that was it. And I was thinking, okay, maybe she'll call. She still didn't call. And then I took a good friend of hers. He was a friend of mine.

I took him rock climbing with me one day because I knew he'd post pictures all over the internet on it and he did and that when she saw those she's oh my god i want you to take me climbing and that's that's how that's how it all started and then once once we started climbing we started fucking regularly and then she wanted me take her on a surfing trip and we started fucking that's that's how we started getting into the relationship and we started again it wasn't an official relationship it was just it was just fucking but we spend time together until one day i i'm at home in my apartment it's now This is like six, seven months of this. And I get an email from a certain social media platform that says Jane has indicated she's in an open relationship with you.

Can you confirm you're in an open relationship with Jane? And that was the moment when I realized, holy shit. This is getting real. You are so the girl in this relationship. I'm just like. But the thing is, I was like, first, I was excited that she was. Of course, that's the girl. But secondly, I was like my sexuality was a private thing.

I didn't, my world, the world, I didn't, I did a little swing here and there with girlfriends. It wasn't a major part of my world. It was an occasional thing. And the world I lived in, the extreme sports world and the business world, that was sort of a no-no, especially the way I grew up, whereas one life, one life. Yeah. So there was this moment. I'm like, if I say yes, if I click yes, not only, first of all, great, we're in this relationship. But then everyone, my entire world is going to know I'm in an open relationship.

And that was incredibly scary to me. And that's sort of where the title of the book comes from about seeking the risk is I'm seeing a presenter with this decision. Here's a woman I want to be with. But if I'm going to be with her, it's going to destroy a lot of ideas I have about myself, my masculinity, my sexuality. I'm going to lose a lot of respect from people in my world. Here I was dating this Eastern European supermodel with a PhD.

And I had all this. So my friends were always saying, man, it looks like you're running around with European supermodels and such. And I knew all of that respect or I should say admiration or second party validation was going to be gone in the instant. I agreed that let Facebook know that I was in an open relationship. And that's exactly what happened. But I said, well, if you're going to say yes to this, then just know you are, you're getting yourself into something and you better be able to handle the fallout. I mean, this is 2010 to you. So it wasn't, we weren't quite in the progressive world we're living in now regarding non-monogamy.

Right. Right. That's true. Right. I clicked the button and I was like, all right, there we go. I've done it. We're together. And the next day I just was getting immediately, I was getting shit from people like, wait, you're in an open relationship?

And my best, my best friend was like, you let other guys fuck your woman? What the fuck? And I was like, oh, Jesus. And so, yeah, it was a real. It was a real eye-opening moment around society and around culture and around masculinity and around where our pop culture puts value on female sexuality. It was a totally eye-opening experience for me, but at no point I'd ever thought, I think I had made a mistake. It was a growing experience.

What I did not realize is that was just the tip of the iceboard, the real growing had yet to come. Oh, my God. So now what starts to go down? I mean, is that when you guys move in together, like after that or that's, we're still. No, she's still up at school for a couple years. She's teaching her PhD. And so what we would do is we would see each other twice a month for a long weekend. I'd go up to her school.

She'd come down to the city. We'd have a four-day weekend of the city partying, fucking, going crazy. Or I'd go up to her school. We'd have a, we'd have a fun weekend up her school. It was great being connected to the academic crowd and such. But in reality, we kind of had to. a don't ask, don't tell arrangement. Because I still, I was not comfortable with her fucking other guys without me present.

I was totally fine when we were having threesomes with men or women. Double penetration is her like. Her thing? That's her thing. Like if she could have only one kind of sex for the rest of our life, would be double penetration. I'm obsessed with Jane. I would have done the same thing with Jane that you did.

I would be chasing her too. She's like that she's fucking hardcore. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I mean, hardcore like you read about, which was another big eye-opening moment for me. Like, I had this idea of what's the appropriate, like, I loved freaky women. I loved it. But what I, a blind spot I had was that I loved freaky women as long as they were freaky up to the point that I thought was acceptable. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Here was a woman whose freakiness was so far beyond where I thought was acceptable that I was just like, oh, my God, I've been, at some level, I was like, you're being sexist. You don't get to decide what's an acceptable level of sexuality for a woman. Right. So I had that first, that was the first come to Jesus that I had in my head. So anyway, we're seeing each other twice a month. We are in a relationship. But I told you, look, I don't really want to know about your one-on-one sex.

I don't want to know about it. You just keep it to you. You do it up at school or whenever I'm not around, that's fine, but I want to know about it. So for those first two years, that's sort of the arrangement we had. maybe about a year and a half. When she's up at school, I'm in the city, we would spend summers together and such. But again, I was lying to myself. I was living a lie. And I actually, let me take that back. I wasn't living a lie. I was living the relationship the best way I could. Right. And I needed that, I needed the training wheels. And that was the training wheels.

But at the end of when she's finishing her degree and she defended her doctorate and we're moving in together. I assumed that that behavior would stop and we would now be together, living together. And that's when that moment in the kitchen, she was like, what, this is who I am. Did you think that would change? And that was just like, holy fuck. Wow, what have I gotten myself into? Because now I'm in love with her and we're having this great connection. And I think I've gotten myself to a stable place and now it's going, it's going the direction I want. But no, it wasn't. Right. And you can't leave, so you're going to like twist yourself into a pretzel and try and make it work. Exactly.

So we have a negotiation and the negotiations in the book. And I travel a lot for my, now I moved away from the extreme sports as a profession. I was just doing it as part time as an activity. And I was in the business world now. And I traveled out west a lot for my job. It was about half the time. And I said, okay, look, how about if we're going to move in together, you only, you keep your extracurriculars, the sex you have outside of our job.

relationship, you keep that up to when I travel, right? Which is a significant portion of half the time. And she was like, she was like, okay, I could do that for a little while, but I don't, that's that's not how I want to live. Yeah, she wants total freedom. It wasn't, you know what, it was less about total freedom and more about wanting to be completely accepted by her partner. Okay.

Yeah, I respect that. Yeah. And I mean, maybe it was probably a little of both. It was a mix. But it really was she wanted to make sure that I was with all of her. And so she was allowing me these steps. So good on her. She was her idea of an open relationship, but she can fuck whoever she wants, whenever she wants, right?

And I was like, okay, I can't do that, but I can do this. And she said, okay, we'll do that. Yeah, because at the same time that you're thinking she's going to change, you think she's not thinking the same thing. Like, yeah, I'll give him that, but eventually I'll get what I want. I mean, you're both thinking the same thing. you're going to change each other. She's going to make you more open. You're going to make her more not open.

Right. Yeah. She won that fight. I'll say that the end result is I became way more like her than she became like me. And so we're having this discussion. And I'm like, well, can you just keep it to when I travel? And she said, yeah, I could do that. And he says, is that it?

Is that all you need? And I was like, actually, no, I need you to not fuck any of my close friends. And she's like, why not? She's like, why not? I was like, because they're, they, that's not a world they understand. And those, my friendships are too important to me. But really, you have to, you have to not fuck my close friends. And she's, well, that's fine.

You can fuck any of my friends. I don't care. I was like, okay, good talk. Was she fucking your friends? No, she, I said you can't. No, but I'm saying, I know how she thinks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, when I'm out of town, you cannot fuck any close friends.

of my close dress. Yeah. It's just, yeah. And she was like, okay, those are the two rules. Those were our two rules. Mm-hmm. So that's what we started with for a while. And I was like, okay, I got this.

All right. Now it was the next level. Okay. I think I'm good. And again, coming from the world, I came from with the fear and anxiety of the exports, I really felt, okay, I can handle whatever she throws at me. The problem is Jane, one of Jane's love language, was this sharing of her sexuality with her partner.

And so for all the don't ask, don't tell that went on, Jane was really missing a big piece of our relationship. When I came back, she desperately wanted to tell me about this crazy gang bang she had, all this threesome she had, all this good sex she had. She really wanted to share these things. And it wasn't, there was no malice. It actually was and is a love language. Yeah, that makes sense.

for her. And so I started acquiescing. I said, okay, because we had conversations about it. And she's, she's, I really want to share this with you. So I started acquiescing. And she would occasionally tell me the stories and they were destroying me. It was really hard. It was just like hard to hear describing deep, getting getting deepied or getting fucked in the ass by some guy or sucking some guy's cock. And it was challenging. And, Furthermore, we would be having an intimate night together, a really lovely time. And that was when she would think it's a perfect time to share something, because in her mind, we're having this intimate night.

And for her to share, she would increase the intimacy towards me, but it would end up just pushing me away, because then I'd go to this place where I had to sort of combat all these feelings. And that, yeah, so there was this really this conflict between us and how she wanted to get closer and how that just didn't work for me. Right, because in that moment, she's giving you more of herself, but it's not what, it's not a part that you want. Yeah, it's just I didn't know how the emotions that it brought up, the incredible jealousy,

the threats to my masculinity, the, the fear of what, what does this mean for the relationship? There's all these, all these emotions that can come up in non-monogamy. Totally. That I was not really, I had never experienced them before. And it was killing me. So after the first year is this slide towards total, the relationship was falling apart. And I couldn't figure out what to do because I couldn't wrap my brain around what was happening. And I couldn't get comfortable with it.

And so that's when there's this point right in the middle of the book. There's this point where I go have this solo adventure with my snowboard in the Rocky Mountains. I go climb this peak. And in it, it's this thought experiment day of just. us, what is going on? Why, why can't I, why can't I figure this out? I, I'm like, in my head, I'm like, I'm so tough. Why am I so weak here? I'm starting going over all the ways on this incredibly tough guy who stares, fear in the face. And yet I'm getting brought down by this. So this thought experiment continues. And that's kind of when I was like, wait a second,

what if I start thinking about this extreme relationship the same way I, thought about my extreme sports in that it's a new environment that I've never been in. I need to train. I need to figure out a way to train to get the skills and to understand the emotions.

And so I start putting, yeah, I was like, okay, I'm going to get fucking calculating about this because I, this relationship is really important to me. And I want to be with third. And I also recognized that the things holding me back were most likely based on things inside me that I hadn't resolved.

Yeah. Some things in my own psyche. I'm like, what is jealousy? What are all these things? What am I afraid of? A lot of this is probably due to insecurities within me. Yeah. And I was like, okay, well, let's figure out how we can train.

Let's figure out how we can get. And let's figure out how we can visualize. Let's, let's turn this into an extreme sport. Love it. And I decided, okay, much the same way in my sports, we have training time. Yeah. We have very specific times. We go out and train in the environment and work on skills.

I'm like, the first skill that I'm having a real problem with is hearing her with other men. And I said, what if I create training times? There's very specific times where she, this is the time we're going to sit down and you're going to tell me everything. So I was like, I got this idea. And I was like, huh, maybe this can, maybe this can work. And Jane knew there was a problem. She saw what was happening. Yeah.

So I'm out, I'm out west in Colorado. I call her up. And I said, look, I'd like to, I'd like to. I'd like us to start having story time together because I want to when I come home from my trip, I want the second night home. I want us to sit down and you tell me all the sex you have in one in one space, one box, one container so I can keep it all there. I know when the work's coming.

I can do the work around it. And I will never be surprised one night when we're out having a romantic dinner or out out of theater or who knows what. And so that was the pivot point for me. We come home, we make dinner, we're sitting home, we get glasses of wine. And she goes, and I describe in detail, her describing in detail the sex she had and the threesome she had and the guy she picked up on a bus or he was a subway. And so it was like three stories, boom, boom, boom, all at once.

And she told me, and I sat there. And what was great about it is it showed her how much I was committed to hear. Like, I'm celebrating her life. So she felt really good about it because she'd never had a partner who was who really was specifically trying to listen and try to get involved in her life and highlights because now it was all contained. And now I knew for the rest of my time home before I had to go out west for work again. I wasn't going to be surprised by anything. And the first thing it did is relieve this incredible pressure valve in our relationship. And slowly over time, and I described, I started using all my mental climbing, all my mental climbing.

tricks that I use when I were free soloing rock climbing. I started using those when I was listening to her stories because to me it was very similar. Being on a free solo rock climbing, you cannot fall, you cannot think negative thoughts. You only can think positive thoughts. You have to reframe every experience. I started doing that same mental process while I was listening to her telling about the smoothness of some guy's cock and just how when he was coming all over her face. how she, and I was just like, it was, it was, it was a moment. And that, that was, that was the pivot point in the book. Did it work? It absolutely worked. That was the first step. Okay. That was, that was, that was, that was, that was, there are, there, there, then, there are, there,

then, there, there are, there, there are a few more situations that, that, that happened in the book that, that, that, that caused some real growth. I mean, what I, what I, what I, what I really understood was how much non-monogamy was, was, was really acting as a mirror into my own soul about how I thought of myself and my self-worth and my security and my masculinity. And going through that process, basically a grand thought experiment, allowed me to elevate myself to a completely different level in my life. My life satisfaction with myself even got better as I started going through these processes. And that was a remarkable transformation.

The masculinity thing was super tough. And mind you, and this is a whole piece. that I haven't even spoken about. She's like you, Kathy. She's a very public, very open. She's out there telling everyone she's blogging. She's just someone who's on social media and who's out there and is sharing things. So one of the hardest things I had to deal with was this hits to my masculinity.

And all these people were judging as, oh, wow, half the Internet read about how Jane got gangbang last night. And now I have possibly even some of my employees were reading it. That was a total mind-funk. Yeah. Right. Because you were out, I mean, because of that posting way back when, everybody knew that this was the person that you were with and she's public. Yeah. She's public. Yeah. She's public. Yeah. She's public and therefore I'm public. Right. But it's interesting though that in the middle of this story maybe like we're kind of like you do start to learn more about yourself. It does help you in certain ways, right? As far as making you see things differently as well as yourself and working on those parts of yourself where you were in secure. cure? I mean, did it help the relationship? Absolutely. Oh, 100%. The relationship just just really started getting better. I mean, so the book chronicles that growth.

There's one chapter where she, this is, there's a chapter, I think it's chapter eight where she actually has a friend who's, who gets, who gets diagnosed with terminal stomach cancer. And this was a friend who had been somewhat much more traditional with her sexuality and her relationships. But one of her dying wishes is a foursome with two guys. So this with with Jane for them. And this becomes a real, a real problem for me because it's it's something in the future. I know it's happening. They're talking about a lot. I was, I was falling apart over it. It's a real, it's one of the more intimate moments in the book in terms of my own psyche where I'm divulging a lot of really negative emotions that I'm horribly

embarrassed about. But I also recognized that what's pushing these things? And I was diving deep into my own child at an understanding imposter syndrome and understanding jealousy. So the work I did on all those emotions had this dramatic effect of pushing my immersion in a relationship much deeper. And by the third act of the book, where it starts out with a chapter called Hitting My Stride, is where I've actually transcended and I've gotten to this point where, oh my God, I'm starting to really enjoy. I'm starting to really enjoy this nominagi. I'm actually starting to understand compersion. I'm starting to enjoy watching my wife get fucked by three men. It was a dramatic transformation. I'm sort of minimizing you here now,

but the story is told over the 250 pages of the book. Yeah. Okay, well, listen, this is where I'm a fucking asshole because I tend to like to go into my calls not really knowing anything because I'm just naturally, like, crazily curious, right? So I know I'm going to get the whole story just because you're going to talk.

I'm going to be interested in to know more. I thought that this ends with you sort of at that place where you realize you can't handle it, right? And I'm like introducing you as a story gone wrong. But what's even more fascinating about your story is you go through all that those parts where it's wrong, but you you come out on the other side. Are you with her now? Is she your wife? Are you currently together with Jane? No. The book ends with us breaking up in the end. So what was interesting, and this from the psychological aspect of, of the journey, was my initial aversion to the relationship, I recognize was primarily due to insecurities or psyche, feelings in my own psyche. Yeah. And I,

part of my MO in my life is I don't ever want to miss out on something because of fear, right, if I'm afraid of doing it. And unless the fear is valid, right. But I don't want to miss out. And I knew that so much of my discomfort in the relationship was due to these insecurities.

Yeah. That I'm like, fuck no. I am not going to miss out on what could potentially be one of the most amazing experiences of my life, which it was. This relationship was fucking unbelievable. And I describe in the book, I'm just in terms of the wild, crazy shit we did and the life I had was amazing.

It was incredible. And so I go into this journey. I figure out what's holding me back and I get through it. And then we get into our life. And around that time is when that's when she started being the social media sensation. So all of a sudden I started dealing with people telling me a cuckled and all kinds of, all kinds of, things that were also seriously emotional hits to me. But in the end, once I removed the things that I knew were holding me back and I could clearly see the relationship for what it was, there were

aspects of it that I didn't like. Oh, interesting. Okay. Yeah. And I wanted, I wanted more, well, Jane was not a very empathetic person at all, especially around feelings of jealousy or insecurity, masculinity, all that stuff. She had no patience for that. And in all fairness to Jane, she's had a, she's very different now. She's, yeah, I can't believe I used to think that way. But she was 13 years younger than me. So we had a, there was a little bit of, I had a little more life experience.

So she's sort of catching up. And so by the end of the book, I'm realizing this isn't, this isn't the intimacy. I love this woman, but I'm not getting what I need from this relationship. Right. And now that I can clearly see, now that. I'm not blinded by my own, my own stuff, my own jealousy, my own fears. Once I got past those and could exist in the place I liked, I started seeing the cracks that I couldn't, that I couldn't previously see. And in the end, we kind of drifted apart,

and I described that. I describe it in the book. But yeah, we're no longer together, but we're the best of friends. And she helped immensely with this book. She was so into it. She was so so involved. So I have nothing but respect for her. She's great. Listen, she came into your life and helped you become a better person. I think, listen, every relationship we have, the hard ones, the great ones, they all teach us something, I think, always about ourselves.

They're always holding a mirror up for better or for worse. And even if it's holding up a terrible mirror and making you face the worst parts of you, you're supposed to learn something from it. And it sounds like you really did. And I think, like I said, she, that relationship was really pivotal for you. Besides all the great sex you had, I mean, you got a lot out of it in that sense. But you, like, it really changed your life for the better. Absolutely.

I mean, changed her life for the better. Yeah. We both grew from it. That's what relationships are about. Absolutely. And the key is when the relationship holds a mirror up, do you then go, wow, and look in or do you blame the other person? Exactly.

And I think our initial response as humans is, oh, it's your fault. Yeah. You're not being like, okay, wait a second. No, that's not right. Think about where all this emotion is coming from. Eventually you have to go there, okay? I believe in being a human being first. Go through all your shit.

Have all those regular human being emotions. I'm a victim. You're the fucking asshole. All that stuff and everything. But eventually, in order to get past that and not wind up. up a bitter person with tons of baggage, you're going to have to take accountability for like, why the fuck were you there? Nobody holds anybody hostage, okay, unless you've been kidnapped. So you got to look at yourself. I did a whole book. I was like, and I wrote it, it was just like

all my relationships gone wrong stories. Everyone ends tragically. Every guy I dated was a fucking asshole. But at the end of each chapter, what I put is like what I learned from it. Because at the end of the day, you know, I learned something from every single person. My worst boyfriend I had After he read the book, he was like, oh my God, I want to apologize to you. I'm like, why would you apologize to me? You were like a fucking angel that came into my life and triggered every horrible, terrible part of myself that came not from you, from my fucking past. And he showed it to me and I worked on it.

And when I told you to fuck off, I was done with that part. So you helped me. And that's what I think is always happening in life. And I just think so many people fucking miss that. You know, those people that are still upset that their ex-boyfriend from 20 years ago, just got married. It's like, obviously, you didn't ever heal from that relationship if you still give a shit so many years later.

And it's sad that most people roll that way. I totally agree. And it's interesting that you had that experience with your boyfriend saying, oh, God, I'm so sorry. Because after this whole, Jay, we kind of exploded apart at one point. And Jane's like, are you sorry you ever met me? Because I was pretty broken up about it. But anyways, I was like, are you kidding?

Miss out on this incredible 10 years we've had together. This is a life people dream about. Right. It was amazing. The experiences we've had together, be them driving around the American West in my pickup truck and climbing and camping or snowboarding or going to crazy sex parties in New York City and having amazing wild nights. I mean, whatever you could imagine, we did it from a sexual perspective.

And there's so many stories. In fact, our sex life became a big part of her blog. And that was interesting in itself. I have a whole chapter on Pride. where I talk about my own pride in being exposed about certain things. And what sense? Well, so she never wrote anything bad about me at all. And quite the contrary, she made me out to be quite a stallion in whether warranted or not.

It was great. But then there were a couple times, I was like, okay, that's kind of harder. And people would comment and call you cuckled, you cuckled, all this stuff. And it's fine. The cuckled comments really kind of, they had a big impact on me. It was, again, ties back to masculinity. And I had my perception of what masculinity was or my masculinity was kept being challenged by this relationship.

But that was even the worst part of that. And then we, she once described on her social media, fucking me in the ass with a strap on. And that when I, when someone called me and said, hey, your wife's, talking about fucking ass with the strap on. I was like, wait, what? That was too far. That went too far from me. I was like, that's something I wasn't prepared to have the entire world know about.

Because stigma, the stigma with that is the opposite of your masculinity. I mean, that's the biggest fucking stupidest shit. But that's the truth. Totally. There you go. It's right. It was absolutely true. And I'm very open in the book about my own failings about the masculinity debate.

and what it meant and having that up there and what did it mean. So I go deep. And even talking about it now with you is difficult for me to say it. Like, yeah, this happened. So I devote a whole chapter to this idea of pride. And where was my pride coming from? Where was my masculinity coming from? And when I destroyed all the pillars that previously had been holding it up,

I was forced to find authentic pillars for my masculinity to stand on about who I was as a man and how I lived my life. And that was an incredible gift. Right. I mean, it just sounds like that was always coming up for you because you needed to work on that within yourself, right? And when that came up,

I feel like what better way for you to get through something than just like shoving your face in the fucking dirt? You know what I mean? It's really, that's like, right? I mean, I don't know. Yeah.

I mean, honestly, I learned to love myself from this in a way I never had. I learned to start looking when something like that would happen. I was forced to go look. at all the amazing things about me, about my life, about who I was, about things I did, about who my friends were. And it was an incredibly enriching, rewarding experience having to go through that exercise. Yeah, of course. Unfortunately, the fact is that in life, some of the best things come from like really difficult times, you know, and a lot of people fail to see that, and that's

the sad thing. But that's the way that it fucking goes. Look at anybody's biography. There's no mountain that you get to that's called happiness and you're just there forever. You know what I mean? No, but exactly. But that's part of the title of the book about Seek the Risk that the happiness is in the journey to get to the top of that man and confronting, in confronting the uncomfortable things and getting through them and learning. Like that's where the happiness is.

It's about achieving getting yourself past things. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And going through the difficult times, going through it as opposed to sweeping it under the table, you know, being in denial. That's the stuff that people never want to deal with. But those times in your life, I feel like, are the times that you could really change and grow. And then you look back so many years later and you're like, wow, that was the greatest thing.

You could look at your girl and be like, thank you so much. Like you changed my life. Even if all the sex and stuff wasn't there, it still was major for you. What did you decide would be if you were to have exactly what you wanted? What was that when you left that relationship? Yeah, well, obviously, the relationship ended literally right before the pandemic. So I was alone for a while. I was pretty broken up. I was trying to figure out myself. I was, I for about a year, I sort of spun, spun out in my home in Colorado. And that's actually when I started writing.

Yeah, that's great. But I haven't really had another long-term relationship since then. I've made a lot of women and I've engaged. I guess what's the world? The singledom is kind of where I am right now. I'm still trying to work it out. I don't, what I do know is the level of non-monogamy that Jane and I achieved, I don't want that again. That was too much when she's fucking three, four guys a week. Yeah, that's just not. That's, at the end, that's what was going on. I was like, yeah, this isn't what I want.

I want somebody who's a little more focused on. Training season 24-7. I mean, that's what it was. Right. I mean, we weren't polyamorous. In all fairness to Jane, I was really loved. But she just needed a lot of novelty. She needed a lot of sex.

And that was too much for me. Now, what I'm also clear about in the book is that it may just be that Jane just didn't have the same intimacy needs I didn't. And if she had, I might not have cared that she was fucking four guys a week. I just didn't get the intimacy that I needed from the relationship in the end. And that's probably why it spun out. So if I meet another Jane like, there's no one else. No, no, no. She's on the end of the spectrum.

I've had some girls. They're my hardcore girls. I've met others like Jane. I'm always super impressed with them because, you know, I like people that live in the extremes because they're not common, right? She's not like most girls. She sounds more like a gay man. She lived that life.

She'd be very, she'd be taken as a compliment. Yeah, it should be. I'd high five her. I like, like I said, I like people that are extreme and unique. And I love that she sort of does what she fucking wants. And I think it's. great that she's somebody out there blogging and being open. That takes balls. I mean, she's really paving the way by talking about that and being free to be that. I mean, so that's,

I think that's great. Yeah, I mean, she's actually toned down now. She's, she's, I mean, she's a professional now. She's got a PhD. She's a professor at a very prestigious university. She's not out there blogging. She's doing more sex education now. And what's interesting is that She's now sort of more, she's like, wow, I think you were right about the intimacy thing. She has sort of come more to my thinking about it now, about where we're four years, five years. Five years had a relationship. But now we're just deep friends. So it's kind of fun to see her journey.

I want her on my show. You can't give out her name, right? Jane, quote, unquote, isn't it right? Jane, I can't give out her name. But I can have her call you someday or something. I can connect you to if you'd like. I mean, does she ever go on podcasts? Oh, well, she does, but not as Jane.

She goes on as a sex educator. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She goes on as herself. Right, but does she ever put herself as the Jane in your book, or does she like to keep that anonymous? Well, the book only came out a month ago. And so we, when I say we, Jane and I, we're not really sure how we're going to navigate that. Interesting. She was actually somewhat okay with me doing it non-anonymously.

We kind of talked about it. And I really wanted it to be anonymous. And she was 50-50 on it. But in the end, she's like, you're right. This does make sense as an anonymous, anonymous book. It takes everything away. It just becomes about the story. Yeah, yeah, yeah, which is great.

I love your story. I'm slightly obsessed with all of it. Now, give out all your information in your book. I feel like there's a lot of sex in that book, too. Do you go see it? Oh, yeah. There's a lot of, I mean, there's some gratuitous sex in the book. It's a little bit erotic novel.

It's a little bit guide book. It's a little bit memoirs, a little bit. Love that. It's got a little bit of everything. Well, that's what my show is. So I think people that tune into my show that like my show are going to like your book. You know, I don't just like to get sex stories on my show. You know, I like the deeper shit too.

So it sounds like your book is like an episode of my show, but a whole story. That's a whole story. Yeah. Can I do a quick plug? Is that okay? Of course. Plug away. I'll give first I want to give slight background that I'd never written a book before that I did this.

And I had wrote an essay about my experience getting through the non-monogamy with Jane. And I wrote that years went right in those out in the middle of the after I came out the other side. And I was starting to hit my stride. And during the pandemic, a friend of mine, who's a writer, read it? And he said, this is an amazing story. You really need to turn this into a book. So that's how the book happened. I just started writing.

But I never written anything. And I got about a year and a half in and I kind of got stuck. Like, I had the story written, but it just wasn't very good, honestly. And a friend of mine had a friend of mine had a friend who was the editor of Outside Magazine. It's named Brad Wetzler for years. And now he runs a writing school. And she hooked us up. And this guy just was unbelievable in coaching me on how to write a story and how to get out there.

And I just kind of want to give him a plug because he's trying to get his writing school going. If you're someone who's out there and likes to write or wants to learn how to write better, check out Bradwetzer. Bradwessler.com you can put in the show notes. He just honestly, I credit him with doing so much for helping me get this out into the world and getting it out into the world in the way that people seem to be really enjoying. Yeah, that's amazing. That's the first. That's the plug I just want to want to give.

But to find me and find the book, it's at seek the risk. Seekthorisk.net. And you can, the link to the Amazon pages on there to buy the book in Kindle or Paperback. And I really like the cover art. So if you get it on paperback, you get that. And you can reach me at Adam at seek the risk.net. And I'm going to add one other thing. I'm not commercially marketing this book.

I don't like commercially. I don't like advertising. I don't like campaigns to get stuff out there. So what I'm trying to do is I'm trying to get people in, in this sex community that we all are in. I'm trying to get people to read the book and to sort of be ambassadors for it. So to all your listeners, anyone listening to this, for a week after this show airs, if you email me at Adam atseektherisk.net, I will send you a free copy of the ebook. Wow.

The ask that if you read it and like it, please convince someone to buy one. Oh, my God, I love that. Or more than one person. So, yeah, so for all your listeners, and I've listened to several of your shows, and I really like the way you interview, and I assume your listeners are pretty cool, too. So, yeah, you guys, whoever wants to email me, Adam at Seektherisk. Tell me a little about your story and yourself because I'm really curious about hearing people. And I'll send you a free copy of the e-book.

Oh my God, I love that. I will put all those links in there. I'll write in the description, the show notes like for a free e-book for one week after this, there's email him. I'll put the link to your website. I love your story. Let me just tell you when I wrote my book, like my, I not only wrote a book, I drew the fucking book.

And I'm not a writer or an artist. I just would do these stick figures. And that's what I did. I saw that. I saw that. I was like, that's, I love your cover. Oh my God. You came up with that.

I looked, I looked that cover and I was like, that's amazing. I fucking loved it. When I was dating that worst boyfriend ever, we went on a long road trip and he was so fucking horrendous that I used to, he gave me this book. He was like an artist and I started doing these weird cartoons and all his artie friends, like loved my cartoons. There's stick figures. I can't fucking draw.

And so that's what I did. Everyone, my whole book is my drawing and my writing and I'm not a writer. or an artist, but I wrote and drew a book, which is hilarious. So I give anyone credit because I think, you know, what people don't understand is writing a book, especially for someone who's not a writer, is a really hard thing. It's a great practice, though. I'm not a writer. I'm a fucking talker.

And writing was the hardest thing I ever had to do and the worst thing I ever did. I hated it. But it really slowed me down and it slowed my brain down and it was such an interesting experiment. And it does help. Writing helps. It probably really helped you get through that time. and it's why you could now be besties with your girl, which is where everyone needs to get.

Absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So thanks so much for coming on. I love this fucking story. I think people should definitely get your book. I think these are the kinds of things people could learn from. I'll put all your links there and it'll be out very soon. Fantastic.

Well, this was so fun. Thank you so much, Kath. Bye. Bye. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers is now available

not only in paperback and e-book but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked

one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang-bang girl story. Like I said, 17 stories, and they're all told in the third person, and they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person, and I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like Penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like

erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. 17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, one or two, and then skis around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format. And finally, the audio book is available coming out August 25th. But you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint. Okay. There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me. Okay. I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other, and that's what you get to do there.

You can post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total, strictly anonymous community, and you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord. It's private, like I said. All you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook,

the ebook, or the paperback. sent it to me at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. That's Strictly Anonymous Podcasts at Gmail.com. And I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in. This is the Strictly Anonymous podcast. Hey, everyone. Thanks so much for tuning in to this week's episode.

If you want to follow the show, follow me at Strict Anonymous on Instagram or Twitter. strict anonymous. If you are on YouTube, make sure to subscribe. I love YouTube as a platform for my show because people comment there and I try to reply back to every single person who post a comment. So even if you're not listening on YouTube and you want to talk about the show, go to my YouTube channel, subscribe and share my videos. It's strictly anonymous podcast. If you want to sign up for my Patreon on my Patreon, you are not only supporting my show, but you will get these episodes early, ad free, and you get to see anonymous picks of my guests.

Most of the girls send in anonymous picks and some of the guys send an anonymous picks. So if you want to see anonymous picks of my guests, as well as support my show and get these episodes early and ad free, sign up for my Patreon. Patreon.com slash strictly anonymous podcast. That's patreon.com slash strictly anonymous podcast. The link is also in the description below. Thanks so much for listening.