Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 699 - Carter Started Cheating on his Wife after Many Stints of Zero S-e-x

Episode Date: October 4, 2023

Carter started cheating on his wife after many stints of zero sex and he called in to talk all about. When did him and his wife’s sex life go so down hill? How did he start cheating on her? And, who did he cheat on her with? Tune in to hear all the details including how after every time his wife would completely shut down for a certain amount of time after every kid, how and why after their first baby he didn’t cheat, how he expressed his dissatisfaction and even mentioned he would eventually wind up cheating if things didn’t change and how she reacted to his threat, how and why besides sex there was zero intimacy in their marriage, how he then went on to AFF to find women to hook up with, how he attracted mostly married women and how and why they preferred him to be “single,” his first hook up with a much older woman and exactly what went down, how and why that first experience made him realize he prefers older women, how he got caught cheating by his wife, how she reacted and how and why they stayed together, how and why he continued to cheat, how they tried therapy and how and why it didn’t help, how being deployed played into their issues and how it changed him as a person, the thing that civilians say to him as a veteran that really makes him mad, why divorce is not an option for him, the couple he hooked up with and exactly what went down with them, the older MILF he met on the pane that he hooked up with, whats going down between him and his wife currently and what he can do to mend their marriage and why he should try plus a whole lot more. **To see anonymous pics of CARTER plus see anonymous pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. The Craigslist is definitely like the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Singapore or Thailand. You can't not do it.

The temptation is just too much. It's real problems. Your friend know that you're banging her or no. No, he has no idea. And anything goes. The motto of the show, let your freak flag fly. Probably the only good advice I'll ever give you is to rehire. your wits and chain. Here is your host, Kathy.

Hey, welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast with Kathy. If you want to follow the strictly anonymous podcast on Instagram or Twitter, follow the show at Strict Anonymous. If you want to be on the show, it's called Strictly Anonymous because I change everyone's voices. I change everybody's names. You could email me from a phony email or from a phony number. I don't care who the fuck you are. I just want to hear your true story. If you have a true, interesting, naughty, crazy story that you want to talk about while remaining anonymous or not anonymous. You could be yourself if you want. Send me an email, strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com or go to my website, strictly anonymouspodcast.com

and click on be on the show. Now listen, if you have just a confession you want to get off your back, I have a confessions hotline. It's 347, 4203579. That's 347479. You could call that number 247. make sure you're in a quiet place. You have four minutes leave a message. If you need longer, just call back.

I change all the voices on my confessions. And they are all aired on my Patreon. Now, my Patreon's a great place. You can join now. Only $5 a month. You get all the anonymous confessions that have come into my Confessions hotline. There's hundreds of them over there. Plus, you see anonymous picks of all of my guests,

mostly every single girl. You want to put a body to any of my female episodes, as well as a lot of guys are sending in picks too. I have pictures over there on my Patreon. You get all the episodes early and out free. You get Q&A's where I answer all kinds of questions that people have for me, as well as access to my private Discord. Now my Discord is a place where people get to post all their X-rated stuff.

People were always sending me in X-rated stuff and I'm like, I don't touch that shit. It's not for my Patreon. But I was like, where could I put it or what could, you know, people want to post this stuff. People want to connect with people. So that's what they do on my Discord. You get access to that as well. For all just $5 a month, I keep adding things to it. And I haven't raised the price yet, but I eventually am.

So I'd get it now while you can. Because even if I do raise it, just so you know if you're in at five, you don't get raised. There were people that signed up to my Patreon at $3 a month many years ago. And if they're still there, even though I keep adding things and raise the prices, their prices don't change. You get grandfathered in at whatever price you come in on. It's patreon.com slash strictly anonymous podcast. Now, today I have on Carter.

Carter's a fucking cheater. But I think cheater stories are always super interesting because most of the time when you peel back the layers, you just learn so much. And I think the reason why I like to have these kinds of episodes is because they're cautionary tales. I think a woman can listen to this and be like, oh, if this is what's going down in my relationship,

this could kind of happen. I think it's a good story. This one in particular because I think guys a lot of times find themselves in the position that Carter is in and they'll be able to relate. So that's another reason why I like to have cheetah stories. Carter's not a guy who was always cheating. He was very monogamous in his relationship for a long time.

And then kids came. He was in the military. He was deployed. A lot of bad shit happened to him. Came back a different person. His wife, like a lot of women, lost interest in sex for a long period of time after each one of his kids. And eventually, with everything that happened,

he started cheating on her and he got caught very early on right in the beginning and they stayed together but it didn't help anything because the way she handled that and all the lack of sex before and all the stuff that happened to him when he was deployed that changed the way he was just made him like not really a happy person he didn't he wasn't happy in his marriage you could tell he still has resentment for a lot of the things that happened with his wife his way of dealing with it was to eventually cheat and because it worked for him. So even though he got caught, he continued on because it did work for him and still does work for him.

He says at the end, like, cheating is awesome. It's a high. But he's still with his wife. They have like more babies. They just keep having more babies and less sex and he keeps cheating and he talks about all of it. It's super interesting because like I said, this is not a guy that was always a cheater. Things happened and he wound up as one.

I think that journey and his story is interesting when you hear about how and why it all. happens. I think you'll be less judgey and more understanding of a lot of it when you hear his story but it's not like you won't feel for her and not understand her story either. I mean, I understand a woman who just has a baby, he doesn't want to have sex.

This is a common problem and his situation that he was in with his wife, kids sleeping in the bed, him not even in there. No sex for a long time. I mean, this stuff happens all the time so I think you'll be able to relate to Carter's story. Super

interesting. He sent me in Picks for my Patreon. He says he's really hot when we talk because I'm like, how are you getting all these girls? Are you hot? He's like, yes. So anyway, if you want to see hot Carter anonymous picks are over my Patreon. You could go there, patreon.com slash strictly anonymous podcast. I'll put the links in my description. Anyway, I'm going to be right back on with Carter. Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast. How are you today? Good, Kathy. Thank you for having me on. Thanks for calling in, Carter. You are what most people will call a fucking cheater, okay? Yeah.

You have a wife. You cheat on her? I don't know if you're a serial cheater. I like to have cheaters on my show. I know one podcaster that would never have any cheaters on the show. I'm like, I think it's important to tell cheaters stories because I think that you can't put all cheaters in one category. I think it's always super important to hear the whole story. And there are different, like, degrees of cheaters.

There are the worst kind of cheaters, okay? I have friends that are the worst kind of cheaters. And then there's, like, the guy who hasn't been fucked in 15 years because his wife's been in menopause and he cheats and he never cheated the rest of his marriage. And then there's that guy. Those two guys aren't the same, right? So I have a feeling you're on the one end of the spectrum, like the bad kind of cheater. I don't see.

Yeah, I don't know. I need to hear your whole story. Have you always been a cheater? No, no. Okay, good. So let's talk about that. So now, where are you at right now? Like, how old are you and how long have you been married for?

I am 35 and I've been married for 11 years. Okay, so before, and you and your wife, how long you've been together total? 12. Okay. So before your wife, any long-term relationships? No. I was a shy guy. Oh, you were.

Okay, so you meet your girl. She's your first relationship. When did you start cheating on her? How many years in? Five and a half years ago. Okay. So after a very long time? Yes.

So you were... I was faithful for a very long time, yes, man. Okay. So why does a guy who's otherwise able to remain faithful for a very long time suddenly change? I think that that's interesting to hear that story. What happened five years ago? Five and a half years ago, well,

my middle son was born in 2017 and even through her first pregnancy she didn't want sex at all yeah it's unfortunate it happens yeah and then it it was like at least 18 months of abstinence wow so yeah there's only so much a man can take totally so you are that guy that his wife stopped having sex with him. Yeah. Like what is the guy supposed to do? It's a very interesting conversation. You are a guy who was denied sex for a very long time.

So your first kid, it was 18 months that you went without sex. Is that what you were saying? Yes. And then you must have had sex because you had another kid. So 18 months later, you fucking, you probably had so much jizz left inside of you that you're like, they all were like, oh, my God, they're rushing out of you. that you got she got pregnant right away

and now you have your second kid so my first one was born in 2013 second one was born in 2017 it was the same story so okay she got pregnant I knocked her up 18 months later she'd have finally

decides to have sex I'm like you know what fuck this I've had enough so started doing some research on the best apps and Tinder wasn't at its time AFF was definitely the go-to for me during that

time but let me ask you this during those two you had two 18 month periods it's 36 months that's years right of no sex were there conversations ever between you and her where you were like

listen bitch I need a blow job I need sex like or was nobody talking about it. No, I was definitely fucking talking about it. She just wasn't having it. It's either I'm not in the mood. I have a fucking headache. I got a migraine. I don't feel good. Oh, that list goes fucking on with excuses. Well, listen, I'm going to tell you as a single mom, okay, I had a kid on my own. And I can't tell you, I can't count on everything on my body how many times at the end of the night after taking care of a baby all day that I thought to myself, thank God, I don't have a fucking husband that I have to blow now, okay?

Because it is the last thing you want to do when you have a baby. Okay, so I have to tell you from a woman's standpoint, I could understand where she was at and how she was feeling. Does that make it right? No. Does it make it fair? No. Are you, it doesn't make it right that you're feeling that way either?

No. I mean, you're both valid and where you're at. It's just a sad thing that both people want different things. at this specific time. It's a real problem and it happens a lot to a lot of people, especially with kids. And like I said, as a woman who had a baby, my guy didn't go cheat on me because I didn't have a guy,

but he probably would have because I could have wound up in that same way. It's the last thing that's on your mind. So I don't necessarily think it was an excuse. She just didn't want to have sex. So you would get nothing in those 18 months, like not even a blowjob? The first kid or second kid? Which one are you talking about? Let's start with the first one.

No, well, the first one, I was technically deployed. Oh, okay. So you weren't even around. No. And you were able to stay faithful, though. Yeah, there were opportunities, but I did not take them. Okay, so that's faithful. That's major.

Okay. Listen, this is heed the warning, women. You're listening to this. You're a faithful guy that, like, you had opportunities and you didn't even take it because you didn't want to cheat on your girl, right? Well, that and you was, even, UCMJ is no joke. The what?

That's a United States Code of Military Justice is no joke. Adultery is really frowned upon in the military. So you were afraid of the consequences not just from your wife, also from your military? Really, really high consequences. Like rank, pay,

a list goes on and on. Oh, I'm sorry. I've never heard of this. It didn't stop people from doing it though. I'll tell you that. Wait a second. Could I just ask you a quick question about this? Because I've never heard of this. that that is a real thing in the military to this day now that goes down? Yeah.

Any other position besides a missionary position is still a regulation. What do you mean? You can't fuck someone from behind? Nope. Nope. To this fucking day. That was established back in the 1800s, dude, during this little war, I believe. Don't quote me on that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it had to been in some other time period because I mean. Yeah, it was established. definitely another time period absolutely but yeah if you're caught that you can receive an article 15 yes and you can lose rank pay or get dishonorably discharged from the military depending on the severity of the situation that's so interesting and adultery they know who's married and they know who's not so if they catch you oh they know fucking everything about you wow everything about you really it's like scientology they got you they got it sounds like you're in scientology don't they do the same shit

Like they got all the intel on you and they control your life because of it. They do. Yeah. That's the United States government. Wow. That's interesting. But yet it was the best job I ever had. Okay.

Well, that's good. I would never change it for the world. Right, right. And for your wife, good thing they had that in place because when you were there, you couldn't cheat on her. So women feel happy that your guy can cheat her. He's going to get fired from his job. I mean, that helps women if you really think about it. Those rules.

Yeah, but it doesn't stop the spouses for cheating on their husbands when they're deployed. Right. But I mean, you, it stopped you though. So because you were that way means that there's others. Yeah. Some people are still not going to fucking give a shit and do it, of course. But it did deter you, which means that it probably deters a lot of people. Okay. So you don't sound very happy. I'm sure it was very frustrating. So you have 18 months. You come home. You finally have sex. You have another baby. Now the same thing is happening. So during that second 18 months, you come home. You come home. You finally have sex. You have another baby. Now the same thing is happening. So during that second 18 months. Were there ever like blow jobs or any kind of throw you a bone moments? No. None. No. The conversation turned into an argument and the argument basically turned into me saying that, well, I'll get it one way or another. And what did she say?

Go ahead. Oh, she flipped the fuck out. Right. Mm-hmm. Interesting. Well, I mean, listen, I once I know somebody whose partner was begging them for sex and intimacy and she wasn't giving. it and he came to her one day and said, listen, I've been talking to my therapist about this. And I thought this was a great thing. This is why I'm bringing this up. I thought this was like a great solution to this

very common problem when a man is like talking and asking and saying he needs and stuff. What he eventually said to her was like, listen, I have never cheated on you. I'm not a cheater. I don't want to cheat on you. But I'm afraid that if the opportunity came my way because of what has been going down that I would, that's where I'm at. And it scared the fuck out of her and she changed and I was like wow what a brilliant thing to say and it is the truth you know what I mean why not try that out like why not say to your partner I'm worried like this is what I could do because it is a wake up call it was for her you might have said it in anger I don't know but you you basically definitely had anger right so it came out the wrong way right but some version of that said in

the right way could maybe be a turning point in a relationship right because you said it in the wrong she flipped the fuck out and then that probably made you more angry right because you were just like speaking your needs but you didn't say it properly that's one of a common problem with men yeah exactly men are for mars women for venus that book that's very true right and i just have a habit of saying what's on my mind and it gets me in a lot of fucking trouble yeah yeah yeah but i'm sure you didn't say that to her the first time this is after 36 months of not getting fucked yeah this is after my second child, 18 months after my second child was born. Yeah. Listen, if she was my friend and she's, can you believe he said that? I'm like, no,

I would be on your side. I mean, I'm that friend that is very honest with my friends. I don't just side with them. You know what I mean? I'd be like, well, what do you fucking expect? Like you, you haven't given him anything for 18 months. No blow jobs, no nothing. He's asking you, asking you, of course now he's angry and he's going to say he's going to go someplace else. Well, she flips the fuck out on you and then what do you do? Is that when you started cheating? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

What a common probably story you got. I mean, not only that, I mean, not only were we not having sex, we weren't even sleeping together. I was sleeping. I was sleeping in my son's room. And she had all the kids with her. So, I mean, fuck, not only am I not sleeping with this woman that I love. Yeah. I'm also not getting sex, which I want.

Right. But there's no touch, right? I mean, no touch. And I think a lot of women don't understand that. The act of sex isn't just sex for a man. I think a lot of women think, oh, they just want fucking sex, dirty dogs. But I mean, sex is more than sex for everybody. It's intimacy.

It's a part of a relationship. You need that as much as she needs a hug. It's the same shit. It's not just coming from like a sexual place. You don't even have any intimacy with your wife at all at this point. She's giving it all to her children, which I get. The bond with the mother and child is a very strong one. And a lot of times guys get very shafted and left in the dust when that happens,

especially when they're co-sleeping and stuff. Oh, my God. I mean, you can't even sleep with her in the bed. Nope. I mean, this whole thing is a recipe for disaster. So you start to go, is that when you went on adult friend finders? Yes. Okay.

And what were you, what did you put out there? Fuck, I put my pictures out there. Face shots? Pitch, no. Okay. Dick picks. Okay. No, I don't do that shit.

Okay. We don't want that anyway. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Okay. Pictures my face. Pictures about just me interacting with different people or different environments, that type of stuff. Pictures of me in the service.

Because I just, I was only out probably about 18 months at that time anyway. So. Now, did you put out there the truth? Okay, I'm a married guy just looking for some side. No? Nope. Lied my ass off. Oh my yeah.

Okay. What did you write? Like what were you looking for? How did you pitch yourself? You were like, I'm just looking for some fucking naughty hookups. And what did you find? I'm looking. It was more like friends with benefits.

Yeah. Okay, cool. Okay. So you're looking for friends with benefits. Now, did you get a lot of hits from real women? Yes. Interesting. Are you good looking?

Yes. Okay. Okay, good. Because I would think you'd have to be because I think it's a, it's sometimes it's way harder for a man who's just looking for friends with benefits to find someone to fuck than a woman, right? If I put myself on there and said, hey, I'm just looking at fuck. I'd have a hundred guys in my inbox in 10 minutes. So you got women hitting you up just for sex? Yes, mostly, married. Yes. Okay, yeah, that's what I was wondering. What were those demographics of the

women that were like, this is totally up my alley? Okay, so married and that work for you? I mean, when you met the married women and you found out they were honest about being married themselves, did you cop to the fact that you were married married? Nope, because in most men, most, I don't understand this, this whole concept, but no, I did not disclose that information because women do not, women on that site do not, at that time,

do not want married men for some fucking reason. It's like a huge stereotype. It's hypocritical. I mean, I don't, I mean, you're doing it. Why the fuck can't I? How do you know? Did you ever put it out to a married woman? And she was like, oh, fuck you.

You cheated. No, they haven't on their profile. No married men apply. Oh, but they're married. Yeah. Oh, but do there are guys no or are they cheating? No, they're cheating. No, they're cheating.

Oh, that is a fucking doubled standard. That's ridiculous. I did post married first. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got absolutely fucking nothing. But as soon as I put single, it's like, fuck. I'm going to do with all these messages. Yeah, that's the data right there.

You did the experiment. You put married, nobody showed up. And then the minute you put single, even the married woman who were cheating, stop judging you. What a fucking sick people. Like people, human beings are just so twisted. You know what I mean? I don't get it. I really don't understand it.

So now tell me about that first time that you have your first hookup with a woman from there. I mean, you're a guy who had never cheated. You'd been with your wife for a really long time. You love her. Like, how did you feel after that first time? I felt like shit, to be honest with you. Right. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Yeah. I quickly got over it, though, because the sex was fucking phenomenal. Yeah, two things. Isn't it interesting? That both of those things that can exist at the same time. So it was amazing sex. And it turns out that I'm really into older women.

And I was five years ago, I was 29 when I started. I'm 35 now. 29 when I started. And my first hookup was with a 45-year-old woman. Okay. And what did you like about those older women? The fact that they just knew what they were doing. There was no.

Well, they knew what they were doing. They were kinky as shit. Right. Fuck. Just brought out my kinkiness. I mean, fuck. It's just shit that I don't even know about myself. Really?

They got you into doing things that you had never even thought of. Yes. So that's that woman that gave you that best sex that first night. Did you continue to see her? Did you see many different women? Yes. So we met at a bar. I was quote unquote working at the time.

and prior to us linking up, she said, I'm going to run you dry. And that was very intriguing. Oh. Did she? And it sounded like she did. Yeah. She did.

Six orgasms. And I had to fake the last one, which is, I couldn't believe I had to do that. Wow. Yeah, you're like the girl in the situation at that point, that you're faking it. Well, she didn't run me dry. That's for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you felt a little bad, but you continue to see her, right?

Yes, I saw her for probably about six months until we moved. Now around, because listen, you said it 18 months she didn't have sex with you and then sex comes back, right? Yeah, once every fucking month. Oh, okay. That's the type of woman to this fucking day she is, once a month. Okay, it still sounds like you fucking hate her. I can go, apparently I can go six times a fucking day. My high, fuck, I'm 35.

My six drive still high as shit. Yeah, it's not going to go down. I'll tell you, I have a lot of guy friends. And my biggest player friends, I saw them go down until I could only do it like once a night. Late 40s is when it goes down. So you have many years to come. And just so you know, those older women, women in their 40s, it's like the horniest time for women. Yeah, it's very true.

So it is smart for a younger guy. if they want to have a woman whose sex drive matches theirs. I mean, there is that kind of weird connection that a way younger guy in his 20s is going to really connect sexually with a woman in her 40s because their sex drives are very similar at that point. Both of you could go six times a night. This is where you're at.

You're very... She could have gone a lot more than me, that's for sure. Yeah, yeah, that's great. Well, you had two kids and a wife and you're cheating and you're living a double life, so you have a little bit... Well, she was two, though, right? Wasn't she married? Yes, she was married, but a thing is.

is with this one, she caught my attention more because she has a freak of your side. She, so her and her husband know, what is that, like a poly? Yeah. So they're okay with the other person finding another partner, both of them. Right, right, right. Okay. So they're allowed to go out and do whatever they want. Yes. Okay.

Yes. And even with her, though, so she, I guess with her, because she's really looking for another partner, she doesn't want to know you're married. so that's why you never told her. Yeah. Did she ever caught feelings for you? No. I never caught feelings for her.

Okay. So at that time, while you're banging her and you're having all this great sex, do you start seeing other people as well? No. No. Just her. Just her. Okay.

Now are you coming home lighter and happier because you're getting fucked a lot? Does your wife notice anything? So I was pretty. fucking dumb during the initial conversations with this woman. I left, my wife, she did know my password on my phone. Mm-hmm.

And I was using the bathroom, exited the bathroom, and she must have saw the message pop up. And then she clicked on it, and we were both sending fucking news to each other. A big mistake. She saw it, came out of the bathroom, and smacked me right in the fucking face.

I was madder than shit, but I fucking deserved it. Right. She saw it. It was right there. I mean, literally this woman's on your naked pics. Yeah. It didn't stop me, though. But leading up to that, she caught me, slapped me in the face.

She said, you have to choose right now, this woman or us. Yeah. And ultimatum, another one. Mm-hmm. There's been multiple more. There's been more. Ultimatums. Okay, we'll go there in a little bit, but keep going.

And I'm like, you know what? I'm going to go to the bar and get drunk, and I'll get back to you. So I did. So you're like, I do have to think about it, actually. I mean, you didn't say, of course I want you. You said, okay, let me go think about it, which is a little. Yeah, I was, I don't like getting hit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I was pretty fucking mad. I'll never hit a woman, but I was fucking mad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because, listen, just, I mean, to be fair, you shouldn't fucking hit a woman in a woman shouldn't hit you. Sorry. Nobody should put their hands on anybody. I mean?

Yeah. Yeah. So I kind of used the barmaid as a fucking counselor. I could imagine. Yeah. Her words to me is this is why I'm not fucking married. Right. Okay.

So do you, now you have to go home and eventually have a conversation with you. Why? Yeah. Yeah. She was begging me to come home at that point. Okay. You go home and what's the conversation? You tell her, don't worry, baby, I pick you.

Yep Okay Which was a lie Well I mean it was true But it was a lie Because I was still gonna fucking cheat anyway Because I still wanted sex But did you think it was the truth

When you told her Did you think okay You know what I got busted I'm so horrified about myself I'm not gonna do this anymore Nope Or you knew

I'm gonna still do this But I'm just gonna tell her That I'm not gonna Exactly I'm gonna put on a facade Okay Yeah yeah See this is like

Such a toxic This is like such a toxic relationship at this point Because you really don't have any feelings left for this woman on a certain level you know what i mean that you don't even with her catching you and doing it like you don't even come to this place where you feel like oh my god i can't do this i i don't want to lose this woman you're just like you're so detached from this relationship and her and it sounds like you just have a lot of anger for her probably in resentment

i did yeah i really did i mean like you said i mean shit 18 months that's two times two times two times two times and you telling her the whole thing time and asking and stuff I could see where hell to the point where fucking begging comes into play but that shit never works yeah but right but you and you even told her I'm gonna do it and then she catches you and she fucking slaps you I mean and puts her hands on you so I mean this is none of this is making you like her more no I was very bitter yeah that wasn't the only time when that happened so and we'll get into that trustee we'll get into that let's keep going so she catches you you swear off, but you continue to see this woman.

Does she turn into like a crazy, distrustful wife at that point? Yes. I would assume. Yes. But since I'm a blue-collar worker, my work schedule is already fucking chaotic. I can always blame it on that. Ladies, if you have a blue-color worker at home. And they say that they got to go out at 10 o'clock at night. You mean like that kind of shit?

Especially the quote-unquote out-at-town jobs. Oh, interesting. Those are the quote-unquote's. I mean, don't get me wrong. They're all out-of-town jobs, but I'm just saying, quote, unquote, out-of-town jobs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you continue to see and now, but like I said, obviously, she turns into a crazy, distrustful person, which probably makes you even more turned off and pissed off because now she's like a nag.

Yeah, she's definitely solid of change. I mean, I'd be happy as she and I come home and be miserable. Right. Mm-hmm. So now did you guys ever like in the midst of all of this? Because now it just sounds like your whole relationship sounds like it's gone to the shitter. She knows the husband, you cheated. She's got two kids with you.

She's obviously not leaving you because you cheated. She thinks she's going to control you and you're not going to cheat just because she said so. So now she's with you. But on some level she knows you still can cheat. So she's distrustful. I mean, do you guys ever decide to like try and work on this relationship like in therapy or anything? Like, uh,

I did therapy. Well, I should say, I did therapy and we did therapy when I was in the fucking military when I came back from my deployment.

Mm-hmm. I went to war and war changed me. Yeah. Wow. And when we first got together, I was a sweet guy. Mm-hmm. And yeah,

I'm not that guy anymore. That guy fucking died. Oh, oh, wow. Because you were in war. I mean, you like, did you kill people,

saw people killed, like your friends were fucking killed. Yeah, that's hardcore. I could do a whole, episode on that show. Yeah, you could. I've listened to a lot of your episode with vets and none of them actually talked about this kind of stuff. So it's actually good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but I like that kind of stuff. But I know we can't go there because we're talking about all this other stuff,

but somebody who has to, like this sweet guy that has to go and kill people and see other people being killed, you know, like that is fucking heavy. I lost a lot of friends. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I don't even know. I think most people could never really understand and you have this whole whole life that you experience that most people don't understand. It's probably a real weird place to exist. That's why counseling didn't really work because it was always my fucking fault. They never really understood my side of it. Really?

They couldn't because they're fucking civilians. Oh, you mean even just about like how you changed and how it changed you as a person? Or was it just the cheat, like the cheating? No, this was when I was still in, when I was still active. I was active duty. And you were in therapy, but what were they blaming on you? my attitude my lack of empathy really they didn't understand that that's like you had to you had to have a lack of empathy because if you stayed attached to your feelings at this point we've been at we've been in gwatt for 12 fucking years

and people didn't really come to terms of this shit until the war was over in 2021 so yeah but I know people but you think a fucking therapist that's helping people in the military with would have some sort of understanding. No, these were civilian therapists. Oh. Because the therapist in the military were so overbooked. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I had to go off the installation to see a therapist.

Oh, and that, I mean, listen, this is the problem with therapy. I always talk about it. I really believe in it. But most people, and it's like anything. And I say this all the time, it's like anything, whether you're getting your haircut, whether you're going to a doctor, whether you're going to a therapist, whether someone's selling you a car. 90% of people don't do their jobs properly.

They're terrible at it. 10% are great. So there are so many bad therapists that are out there. Hell, I had one hit on me and I had to change my therapist. Can you fucking believe? That's a fucking whack-a-doodle. What the fuck? I mean, this is what goes down.

It's sad. She wasn't bad looking, but. Yeah. You're not there to get fucked. I was still active, and I was not taking that fucking chance. And plus, you're my therapist. I mean, come on. Help me out.

No, and you're there. And you're there because you're seeing death and your friends are dying, and you're like getting fucking detached from a part of yourself and losing a part of your. She's also in changing, not in a good way. And you're like literally reaching out for help and she's like trying to fuck you. I mean, there's nothing more horrifying than that. That's like sexual abuse.

I'm sorry. That's fucked up. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't say nothing. I didn't really fucking care. I just changed my therapist. That's all I did.

Right, right. But nobody really understood what was going on. And so you come back though, like you're saying that the therapy you were having with your wife at that time was because you just came back as a different person like personality wise. You weren't soft anymore. This is the first ultimatum she gave me. Either you seek help or I'm leaving you.

And this is when I just got back from Afghanistan. And I wasn't even on leave yet. I was home for a weekend. And she saw the fucking change. Yeah. See, I'm sorry, but this has to be talked about. This is a big part of your story. And this is why I love to allow a cheater to come on the show.

Because, like, you can't take the fact that. you were in actual combat for many years of your life and it changed who you were out of the story. It's important to it. Yeah. It's a part of it. Yeah, it's definitely a part of me. It's hard to get your humility back after you are in those situations. Yeah, because listen, what was the alternative?

If you stayed plugged in and kept in touch with all of your feelings, you would have crumbled and died. Like you wouldn't have been able to cope. And the thing is, it's funny because you understand this, but my wife that's been with me, for 11, well, 12 years now, married 11 does not fucking get. Yeah, but most people don't. Still to this day. Doesn't fucking get it.

Yeah, most people don't. They don't. You know what I mean? And listen, the problem with you is that because you went through what you did and because you unplugged all your plugs because you had to and it was survival mode, you don't know how to talk to people. She doesn't hear what you're really saying. I do.

It's easy for me. I'm not, I'm not in love with you. You're not triggering me. But it is, it's sad that people don't really understand. things as much. It's sad that she maybe never sought a therapist who would actually give her that kind of information about you to make her more empathetic to you. I see your side because I'm getting your side. Like I said, I see her side too with the sex and stuff. But it is sad that her as

your wife, like she hasn't been able to really see what I see and see those reasons. But like I said, I think unfortunately because of what happened to you don't know how to explain. You probably don't explain well, right? And don't, you're maybe a little harsh in the way you. Yeah, I am. Yeah, because of what you went through. It makes sense. You have to untangle that, but that's an issue with her. And it just sounds like you guys, unfortunately, like a lot of couples wind up, like, against each other instead of on the same side, right? And listen, she, she caught you cheating. How many times? How many times she got you cheated? Just once. I became a fucking pro at it. Oh, really? Okay, let's go back to that. So you get caught and then you tell her,

okay I'm choosing you she's like crazy distrustful but you continue to cheat and you become professional yep and she was still very crazy very distrusting yeah of course I'm like you know what fuck it we're moving so he moved about 1700 miles away didn't really want to but I thought it would help us and it did not because I still I still did it when we got over there anyway that's what's going to say did you think moving like on some In some way was that moving thinking that it was going to change you like you wanted a new start? Probably. Yeah.

Okay. That makes sense. Yeah. People think, listen, you know how many times people move thinking it's going to change them? And what's that saying? Like, wherever you go, there you are. Like, you could move, but you're still new. History has the tendency of repeating itself.

Yeah. Same shit, you know. So you, so on some level maybe at that point you did want to change, but you couldn't, right? Pandora's box was open. Sorry. And you still weren't getting late. Like the problem. the reason why you're cheating, right, is because you're not having any kind of sex at home.

At this point after the cheating, like, does she sort of step up and try to change things because you went outside of the marriage? Or is it still business as usual? Business as usual. I mean, I actually, I got a head start that way I could find work. About a two-month head start to find a place in work. And I did that. And during that time, I was living like a bachelor. It was fucking awesome.

I can imagine after I'm just being honest. It was fucking great. And that's not the first time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That you were living solo, you mean, and loving it? Yep. Yeah. Of course.

I mean, I absolutely love my kids. Yeah, of course. I love my kids to death. Yes. But my wife, eh. I can't put it this way. I can't live without my kids. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I got it. I mean, listen, I think a lot of people are relating to you right now. Listen, with all this stuff between you, Nothing has ever really been resolved. I'm sure she feels the same way about you. I wouldn't know. And honestly, I really don't fucking care. Yeah, right.

But I'm saying she obviously probably feels the same way or else you guys would be talking, trying to work it out. You'd be in therapy. Someone would be trying to fix this relationship. It sounds like you both gave up on each other. The only reason why I didn't get divorced, even to this day, is because I don't want to get financially fucking raped by the divorce court. Yeah, which you will.

I'm the breadwinner of our relationship. She's a stay-at-home mom. So, yeah, fuck that. Yeah, so listen, this is like a, this is like a story that is so relatable on so many different levels. I don't think the fact that you went more is. That's why I wanted to come on your show, Kathy, and explain my story because I'm sure there's people out there living the same thing.

Yeah, and I think your story is important for women to hear too. And like I said, I think you put things out with a lot of anger, and I could see why your wife would be defensive. to it as opposed to open and hearing it, but I'm trying to get your story and explain it where you're coming from. Like you're saying things in anger and it sounds like you really fucking hate your wife. But this was after a lot of things that happened to you, a long time of not having anything, a long time of bad communication, a long time of you and your wife, like issues between you two. You know what I mean? A lot of no sex. And then this is what happens. And you become

professional now are you still on adult friend finders of that where you continue to find people or did you start finding people like in your area so when we move 1700 miles i'm not going to mention this date because yeah yeah yeah of course um i met a few hooked up with a few but this is the kicker i've never been with a couple before and i fucking liked it a woman hit me up she was 45 years old um chatted for a bit, wanted a dick pick. Not really good with taking those things, I'll tell you. No way to make them look good. No, no, no.

I take it from the bottom up. I think it makes it look bigger. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Go on. I've seen a lot of dickpicks of my life. So Friday night, after work, I went, I drove about an hour south to meet up with them. And we both hit it off at the bar.

and we went back to their place and hell I didn't get home until 5 in the fucking morning But wait, what did she say? Hey, I got a husband and he wants to come down and he wants to watch me fuck you What was the setup? She, all right,

this quote unquote, this is what she told me there is nothing like having two hard dicks in your hands. Uh-huh. She wanted to be fucking spit-roasted and she was. Did you even know what that meant? I remember what I learned.

So she wanted like, no fucking idea, but I found out quick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, and now were you nervous? I mean, this was the first time you were going to be with a couple. And did you ask any questions? I was a little nervous. That's why we went up. That's why we went for drinks first. All right, right.

Now, were there any talk about whether there was going to be any, no guy on guy action, no crossing swords? I mean, were you worried? I already told, I already said straight up, no crossing swords. Okay, so that conversation does come up. And now, was he cool with that? Was he interested? Oh, yeah, he was fine. He was a straight man, too.

He was a straight man, too. She was running the show. he was just along for the ride Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay I don't know what kind of relationship you call that But maybe a stag vixen I'm not sure Yeah, yeah, Stag Vixen

Okay, so now Were they in their 40s too? I mean, I know you like the older people He was 48 And she was 44 Okay She was hot She was fucking hot

Very, very hot She definitely married down As women typically do There's not a lot of good-looking guys out there I hate to say it, sorry There's more pretty girls than there are good-looking guys. Because girls could dye their hair, they get lip injections, they wear makeup. Guys, they are what they are.

That's it, end of the story. Most people are born attractive. Girls could change the way they look and make them better looking. So girls don't have more to choose from. And we're not just into looks. We're into the whole thing. So she, but so what went down that time with them? So we left the bar.

She has allergic to latex. So we had to get, they had to get not latex-free condoms for me. And let's see, I'm trying to remember here. I mean, do you go to a hotel room? Do you go to their house? No, no, no. We went to their place. No, we went to their place.

Okay. And their place was absolutely fucking beautiful. Like an old style Spanish home. Absolutely gorgeous. And you were a little nervous? Yeah, I was nervous. We started off on the couch. Well, we sat down on the couch.

He grabbed me a beer. He was a really fucking nice. Really nice guy. If you're listening to this man, dude, fuck you. Props to you, man. You're just a cool dude. You offered me a beer. We sat down on the couch and drank.

She was getting all dressed up. And then she came back out and she looked drop dead fucking gorgeous. And she was wearing like a tight red top with no fucking panties on. Hair done, makeup. Yeah, looking really, really, really good. Yeah. And she started kissing. him that she started kissing me and then she ripped his pants off she took my shorts off

and then she just it just happened from there and that's when she told me there's nothing like having too hard dicks in your hand oh that's when she gave you that line not before i thought it was before no it was right then when she had two hard dicks in her hand right so that's like your first threesome right yeah that was my very first one yeah and did you like having that guy there watching fucking someone's wife. Is all of that the turn on? Yeah, it was fucking hot. Very fucking hot.

Yeah. How long ago was that? August or September of 2018. Okay. Now, did you see them more than once, that couple? No, it was just once. They were going through some stuff. And I wish it was more than once, but it wasn't.

And they had a part ways with me, which was fine. Did you start, though, looking for couples after this because you enjoyed it so much? I did. In that area, it's a small town. I mean, you had to expand your search to 150 fucking miles. And I just was not driving that fucking far. All right. But do you just continue to cheat on her?

The past couple of years was like crazy? So when she, so it was that couple and another woman. And that was it. And then the wife and the kids came down. So I was just doing it while. I was a bachelor for a couple of months. All right. So they come back.

And then for a while, do you take a break? Yeah, it was a long time. It was probably about three years. Right, right, right. Okay. So you, and is it because you're trying to make things like now during that time, is your wife giving you sex? Has anything changed in that area? I think she is, but it's still like once a month. Right. I work a lot. I have at this particular point, I have three kids. I don't have a whole hell a lot of time. Right. My life is pretty damn busy. When COVID happened, I mean, it financially fucked everybody. So I declared Chapter 7 bankruptcy because we had to move back to be closer to my parents and her parents because we were expecting a third kid.

We were struggling for a while. And I'm like, you know what? Fuck this. I have my GI Bill. I'm going to go to fucking school. And in order for me to go to school, because the company I was working for, I was making way too much money to declare bankruptcy. Way too much money. Right.

But if I went to school, I could declare. Oh, interesting. Okay. So I did. I drove south about 1,100 miles along the Atlantic Ocean. And I went to school for about six months. Okay. But prior to that, we were not doing well at all. I mean, it was like the lowest point of our relationship.

I could imagine because now you have the stress of all the financial difficulty. Yeah. And she's pregnant again and a child's on the way. I mean, forget about it. So she told me we're officially fucking done. Yeah. Like we're getting a divorce. We're going to be separated for now, but we're getting a fucking divorce. We're done.

Yeah. And I got to admit, I didn't take that too well. I thought I was going to be happy to ship and no, I was fucking devastated. Right. Because for one, I thought I was going to lose my fucking kids. And that would crush me completely. Yeah. Like when you, when you mentioned to Tommy about being dickless, I was fucking dickless and ballless for sure.

Yeah. Yeah. And it didn't even happen yet. You know how dickless. would have been a year after that divorce. Oh, I know. I know. Yeah.

So. Dickless divorcee. If people don't know what I'm talking about. Go listen to that message. Yeah. Yeah. That was me and we weren't even divorced yet. We're just separated.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, that was her fucking biggest fucking mistake. Why? Because fucking, I'm going to say it. I went to fucking Florida to go to school. Mm-hmm. Her biggest fucking mistake was let me go down there by myself.

A lot of hot girls and bikinis Oh my fucking God, yeah, everywhere Yeah It took a while for me to get my balls back for sure But the school I went to there's a lot of vets there And they know how to fucking They know how to boost your fucking morale, that's for sure That's good, right?

You're around people who understand you Like-minded individuals That's the only person that could ever understand Where you've come from Me? Absolutely. Or people like me Absolutely, 100%. Totally, yeah. That's why I said it must be very lonely unless you have that group of people and you continue to talk to them to because the majority of people will never understand it.

Don't have a clue. Yeah. Civilians try to understand. And I'm going to say this because this shit's fucking annoying. Yeah. If you come to a veteran, you say, I thought about doing it or I was going to do it, but I did this anyway, or I had a medical reason I couldn't get into. We don't want to fucking hear that shit. Right.

Because you didn't fucking do it. We did. Yeah. I know you're trying to relate to us, but we don't want to fucking hear it. Straight up. I'm just being honest. Yeah, I believe. I understand that.

Yeah. Mm-hmm. And I get that a lot. So it's, it's annoying. And I think it's annoying because what you experience is so extreme that it really takes away from that by somebody to act like they could kind of relate because they might have gone. It really dismisses the, the depth. of what you went through and they just have no clue. I mean, cops

and firefighters try to relate to, but maybe a firefighter that was at September 11th that lost his whole place. Maybe that's the only guy or NYPD cop that was there or a New York City firefighter. That is the worst possible moment. Yeah.

I think that was worse than Porte Harbor, be honest with you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In our country and our nation. Yeah. For sure. That, yes. Those dudes can fucking relate. Yeah. Absolutely hands down. That's why I went there in the place. Yeah. I was a kid when that happened.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I still remember. I still remember exactly where the hell I was. That's the whole reason I signed up in the first place. Right. And those people are the only ones because that was, it's that extreme. Yeah, they could relate. So yeah.

So now when you're in Florida and so you're around those veterans, they lift you up. They remind you who the fuck you are. And now you start going to town in Florida and living your best life. Yeah. Yeah. So I had kind of like block leaves like you wouldn't have. military. Nice thing about this school I went to, they run it like the military, which I fucking love. The structure. Yeah, I love structure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I cannot

fucking survive without it. I fucking love it. Yeah, I like structure. So, after Thanksgiving break, I was on the, I was on a plane from where I live now to Florida, and it was about a two-hour of flight. I had the aisle seat and this very attrower. interactive 40-year-old woman was sitting next to me and then next to her towards the window seat was her daughter she could not the mom could not stop staring at me and I'm just trying to fucking sleep so about a half hour I'm like you know what fuck it within a half I'm not going to make this awkward so within probably about a half hour of us landing I'll start a conversation yeah and I did got her number

we hugged and kissed at the terminal and I went about my way with her daughter right next to her turns out her daughter was 18 wait wait what do you mean with her daughter right next door all right so I was in the aisle seat mom was in the middle daughter was in the window seat

all in the same all in the same column or aisle where I'm whatever fuck you want to call that yeah and yeah go on sorry the reason the reason All right. So, yeah, she was eyeing me up. And then she would talk to her daughter, eye me up, talk to her daughter, eye me up.

And they weren't being quiet, but they weren't being loud. I'm fucking deaf as it is. I couldn't really hear what they were talking about. I knew it was about me. Yeah. So she was making a pretty fucking obvious that she wanted to talk to me, but didn't have the courage to talk to me. So I said, fuck it, full send.

I'm talking to you. Yeah, yeah. So you understand that she's letting her daughter in on the fact that she's hot for the guy, right? that's how moms and daughters are nowadays. They're really open with each other. It's very different than when we grow up.

Yeah, okay. So you start talking to her? You're hitting on it? Yeah, yeah. I start, I strike up the conversation. We exchange numbers. We hug, we kiss. I go about my business.

She goes about hers. Turns out she was so fucking out of it. After that, she completely forgot where she parked. Oh, my God. Because she told me that. I didn't know that. She told me that. Yeah, yeah, I got it. She was so into you.

It took an hour just to find her car. Hilarious. So you wind up fucking her? Yes. Mm-hmm. Just once. Okay, but still, that's a hot story. You fuck the mom from the plane.

I was more interested in the daughter, but I want to make sure she was of age. Did you eventually fuck the daughter? No, no, I wish. That would be a hot fucking story. A mother-daughter combo? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude's fucking dream. Yeah.

But wait, because we're almost out. hour and I kind of have to wrap it up. What I want to know is like, where are you right now with your wife? Same place. Like can't fucking stand her. She can't stand you. I mean, our relationship's getting a little bit better now because I had an appointment today to see a urologist to get a phasectomy done for a consultation.

Yeah. Turns out it was about two months too fucking late. She's pregnant again. She's pregnant again with our fourth. Okay. Now with the third? Was there 18 months with the third or no sex or no? Yes. Oh, interesting. Okay, so there's going to be another 18 months. Yep. Okay. And I had flings when I was in Florida, multiple ones. The one kind of hit home because she had kids and I was pretty attached to this woman. It's only ever happened twice to me. Actually, just happened recently too. I was really attached to her kids. And for me, with my kids being 1100 miles away, I felt like I was cheating on my kids. I can't have that shit.

Oh, yeah. I can't see that. Uh-huh. But you guys are doing better is what you said? Because she's having another baby? Not fucking really. I mean, she thinks we are. I mean,

I'm just in the same fucking boat. Can I ask you a question? Yeah, yeah. But can I ask you a question? Because there was a time where she caught you cheating, but it's been a very long time that she hasn't caught you cheating. Does she, is she still distrustful or has she gotten to the point where she trusts you?

She trusts me to a point. Like I said, I'm, I'm a pro at it. I'm a pro at it now, but I'm sure she still has her suspicions. I know for the last three, maybe four years, she'll bring it up in an argument. Mm-hmm. And I just get enraged and then that shit just pisses me the fuck off. Right.

Because I thought you'd get over that shit, even though it's still going on by her back. Yeah, that's the hypocrisy of someone who's cheating. That's, oh, God. You know, I always have, like, guy friends who are just, like, massively cheating on their girlfriend. And I've said this before, and they're like, oh, she's fucking distrustful. She's always asking me questions. It's so ridiculous. She's crazy.

It's like, no, she's not crazy. You are cheating on her. Okay? So just because she doesn't have proof of it doesn't mean that she doesn't know on some level and she's picking up on it. Don't turn it around on her and say she's fucking crazy. You're a cheater. Okay, so she shouldn't trust you.

She just has good instincts. Okay? That's the way it goes. Typically, you're not finding. I'm sorry. There's not one woman out there that's so distrustful for so many years over a totally faithful guy, okay? Like maybe there's five people out there like that.

But most of the time, the women that are very distrust. about a guy. It's because the guy is cheating. Okay. They're not like crazy. Sorry. Well, when I got my balls back in Florida, I just used women for sex. Yeah. Just use them for sex. If they weren't fucking, if I, this was on Tinder too. Tinder really worked out for me really well in Florida. So if they wouldn't put out after that, like after I'd see him, I'd fucking hit block and fucking delete on my phone. Block and delete. If they weren't fucking putting out. Yeah, listen, Newsflash, you just became more professional. Newsflash, you were always using women just for sex since you started cheating, okay?

Because you have a wife at home and kids and you have all that shit going over there. You're going over there to fuck Mills because you want sex, okay? Now you just don't have time for it because you've got four kids on the way. You're a professional. Well, I'm still doing it. No, I'm saying you're only not, I'm saying you're just copping to the fact that you're using women for sexes because you've just honed your skills down. There's no more riffraff. This is what it is.

Yeah, like I said I'm a pro. Yes, it's always been that way. I've always been using these women for sex and they've been using you. They're typically married. You're not like going out with 23 year old girls. I think you're going to date them. Oh, fuck. You're not wooing them with dinners and movie theater dates.

You're fucking them on the first night you meet them. So everyone's using each other. But it's interesting though that you and your wife or just keep having the kids. Keep having the kids. Are the kids all still in the bed? are you guys at least in the same room? No, we're all in the same room. We're all sleeping together.

Our youngest is still co-sleeping with us, but whatever. Okay. So you have a lot of, this is going to be interesting when the baby comes because I think I'm going to be right back to our second child. Yeah, 18 months. Yeah, it's going to be 18 months regardless. Yeah, but you already has the fucking,

the mood swings and can't eat nothing. How old's your wife now? What's that? How old's your wife now? She's 31. Oh, she's still young. She's got 10 years before she turns into a little nympho. I was like, oh, if she was like 39.

I cannot fucking wait. Well, it's just so interesting that you'll still be together then. I mean, listen to your relationship. Try to work on it a little bit. I mean, you got all these kids. I know you got your professional cheater. You still got your own issues. I hope do you have a therapist now that is good that could help you at all?

Like with your past stuff and your deployment and stuff like that. Do you have anyone that you talk to? No. So what I found that works for me is scuba diving. Oh, that's interesting. That takes your mind out of things and stuff. Yeah. Yeah, that's amazing.

Okay. But cheating is also something that's been working for you. And listen, it's just a matter of time maybe that she'll catch you. I don't know. I just wonder, you guys are kind of young. Your wife's only 31. You have four kids. Do you think that for the next 20 years you just want to be,

on this kind of autopilot and you want your relationship to be like this. It just doesn't sound ideal on any level. I know that kids bring so much to the table. I'm a mom. I have a child. I know that love is like so much.

But I mean, you and your wife have, are you still trying to maybe work on that or change the game between you guys? Or do you just plan on cheating and getting your knee and met and keeping her? If she's fucking put out more, I wouldn't have to fucking cheat.

I mean, fuck. But are you, I know, but that just sounds so dumb at this point for you to say that. I mean, do you still have those conversations with her? No. Right.

You don't need to because you don't need to. I did. I did. Okay. About probably about a month and a half ago after I started watching, listening to your show. Yeah, yeah. Okay. And what did she say?

I will try. Okay, but see, that right there, I will try is a window of opportunity that you not only have to hear, you have to take it. that moment right there stay fucking on that keep talking about that turn her on to my show start having more conversations no now after this episode's posting i know i know i know okay then not my show somebody else's or not even a show buy a fucking book like i will work on it what did she say to you i'll try yeah i will try yes yeah i will try go back to that that is a moment you need to build If you're not walking out of this fucking relationship anytime soon, try to make it work. Come on, okay?

And that right there, like I said, is some- I do still love her. I'm just, there's a lot of anger from the past. Of course. Yeah, you need a therapist. Listen, I get that scuba diving is something that takes your mind off of it. But besides scuba diving, you should be in therapy. First of all, unpacking all that loss you went through.

I thought you were my therapist. Yeah, I love being a therapist. Like, I love this kind of conversation, but I can't. But you need this kind, like, you need this kind of talk. once a week, just like you need scuba diving. You need to just go there and bring this stuff out and expunge some of your stuff all the time. That'll help you get rid of the anger and all that stuff. And you do need to work on things with your wife.

The fact that she said, I'll try, I think is a big thing. You need to continue to try to work on it, especially if you're not going to leave her and you love her. You should try to fix this relationship because it's a fucking mess. It really is. and you just keep having more babies and you're just sweeping all your problems under the rug and you're going and getting your needs met and you lost a big part of yourself when you were deployed and everything.

But at some point, I hope for you, because you're still young, that you come full circle and remember maybe who you were and get back to that and could like mend your not only relationship with that part of who you are, but also your relationship with your wife. Yeah, I agree. So work on that.

Try to go listen. Listen, it can take five times. is before you find the right therapist. Don't feel bad to fire every single fucking a whack-a-doodle you meet until you find the right one. That's what I do. I fire them all. Especially the one that's it in on me, right? Yeah, I fucking fire them all.

They're so whacked out of their minds, half of them. But you're going to find a really good one and you need a really good one. And besides that, continue to have conversations with your wife. Try to take that. I'll try and you try too. She's going to try, you try. What trying for you is continuing to talk to her. and bring what you want her to do into your relationship.

Because what happens when you're getting your needs met elsewhere, you're less likely to do the work that you need to do to make what you have right in front of you work because you don't have to. I don't know. Cheating's pretty fucking fun. That's a problem. Yeah. Kind of like a high.

Totally. And you get addicted to that. Yeah. How do you get rid of that? It's very different. But, you know, I think if you could work at the same time on getting that real intimacy back with your wife, and things could change.

You never know. You owe it to her and you to work on that because you, like a lot of other people, like you got this terrible thing happening. You've created ways of coping that aren't right. Cheating's not the answer to your fucking problems, but you did it and it's fine and it's fucking great. And you're just going to live this double life forever. I mean, it's, I don't know, it could be so much better than that.

And so, and you're young, don't be a cliche. At this point, this story is like a little bit of a cliche. It's a lot of people's lives. You don't want to be 50 in this kind of a place. Like I said, I hope for you to come full circle. And yeah, cheating's fun. And it's like I said, the solution to all your problems right now. But if you want to stay with your wife and you love her, start trying to solve that problem in a different way by actually facing it.

Okay. Okay. I love your story, Carter. There's so much there. Maybe around Veterans Day, we do a whole story about your deployment. I don't know if you ever want to talk about that. I've never had a... No.

I like deep shit like that. No, you wouldn't do it? No. Okay. I get it. I respect that. All right, listen, thank you so much, though, for calling in and telling me your whole story. It was super interesting.

And it's got a lot of layers to it. I love it. Good luck with everything, Carter. Send me in some anonymous picks if you want for my Patreon. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Okay.

All right. And I'll give you wait. Listen, Carter, Carter, I'll give you access to my Discord. court. People pay for that to get in. There's over a thousand people on there. People get to do whatever they want on there because you're a guest of my show. You'll get in for free. So after your episode airs, you could go in and say, hey, I'm Carter and start talking to people. It's like a whole community. Thank you, Kathy. I appreciate it. Thank you, Carter. Good luck with everything. Love your story. Thank you. All right. Bye. Bye.

Yeah, bye. Okay. I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available not only in paperback and e-book, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang-bang girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all turrets. told in the third person and they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person and

I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. 17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available. in eback format, paperback format, and finally, the audiobook is available coming out August 25th, but you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint, okay? There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me, okay? I give it to people who buy my book.

There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other, and that's what you get to do there. You could post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total strictly anonymous community and you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my discord. It's private, like I said. All you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook or the paperback. Send it to me at strictly anonymous Podcast at gmail.com. That's Strictly Anonymous Podcasts at Gmail.com. And I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in.

This is the Strickley Anonymous podcast. Hey, everyone. Thanks so much for tuning in to this week's episode. If you want to follow the show, follow me at Strict Anonymous on Instagram or Twitter. That's at Strict Anonymous. If you are on YouTube, make sure to subscribe. I love YouTube as a platform for my show because people comment there and I try to reply back to every single person who post a comment. So even if you're not listening on YouTube and you want to talk about the show, go to my YouTube channel, subscribe, and share my videos, a strictly anonymous podcast. If you want to sign up for my Patreon, on my Patreon, you are not only supporting my show, but you will get these episodes early,

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