Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 732 - FETISH FRIDAY Tom is a Wannabe Cuck Into Panties, Pegging, SPH and More

Episode Date: December 15, 2023

Tom is a wanna be cuck into panties, pegging, sph and more and he called in to talk all about it. How did he realize he was into being a cuck? When did he realize he was into wearing panties? And, how did all it all tie into him being into SPH (small penis humiliation? Tune in to hear all the details including the crazy way he told his wife he was into wearing panties and how she reacted, when he first realized he was into touching and smelling women’s panties and how and why he didn’t start putting them on until recently, how and why his fetishes right now hav become his way of getting attention from his wife, how his small penis humiliation fetish stems from his panties fetish, how his ex wife cheating on him made him realize he was drawn to men with big d*** and how that tied into him wanting to be a cuck as well, how he wound up exploring eating his own c**, how he fantasies with his wife about other men coming into their bedroom, how he got his wife into pegging and how she feels about it, how and why his wife’s lack of attention and affection has made him get back in touch with his fetishes, how he has cheated on his wife physically in the past and how and why he now feels like he might emotionally get attached to someone else and why that scares him, how and why his fetishes seem to be his way of checking out of his marital issues, how him and his wife have major communication issues and how both of them would benefit from couple counseling plus a whole lot more. **To see anonymous pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Now, you could only get to my Discord through going through my Patreon, but it's only $5 a month and you get all of that stuff. It's patreon.com slash strictly anonymous podcast. That's Patreon.com slash strictly anonymous podcast. So today I have on Tom. Now Tom called in to talk about his panty fetish and the fact that he was into small penis humiliation. He's also into having his girl peg him and he likes to eat his own calm and all these kinds of things.

But really, this whole conversation turned into a therapy session, which I really loved. It's a really interesting conversation and episode. Tom called in, like I said, to talk about the fact that he's into wearing panties. He was always into panties when he was younger, but he never started wearing. panties until recently actually. And he said in the beginning, it's because I think I want more attention from my wife and because I'm not getting it. I have been figuring out myself and learning more and realizing I have all these fetishes. And one of them, like I said, is wearing panties and he's into cock cages and eating his own calm and he's into the cuckolding thing. He hasn't done stuff in real life.

Though he just like I said started wearing panties. He didn't wear those when he was younger, but we do go back and he remembers certain things, certain of his fetishes like the small penis humiliation one, and wearing panties he does remember some things that he was into when he was younger that tie into those fetishes. He did have an ex-wife that cheated on him. That's what spawned, is that correct, his cuckold fantasies. He got really into that after being not into it and being shafted and cheated on.

Now he finds that to be a big turn on. His current wife knows about some of the. the things that he's into, she's not totally into them, but she's open to role-playing things. She has pegged him. He talks all about that, all the anal play that he's into. But then what we really focuses on is on the issues that he's having in his marriage and the problems they have communicating and how he's like acting out sexually and getting really deeper into his fetishes and doing things by himself that is only creating more issues at home. home. He's doing that to escape. It's like acting out because he's not happy at home. And he talks about

what is missing, what he's done about it, what he could do about it. It turns out to be like a really super interesting episode about all of that. I love this conversation. I think you'll get a lot out of it. It's a common problem that he's having and he's escaping in his fetish. And I'm sure a lot of people who have a fetish use that fetish to escape sometimes and act out when they want to. You because the pull and the draw is there, right? And if you want to escape, you could just get into it. And that's what he's doing. And that's what we get into.

It's super interesting. So I'm going to be right back on with Tom. Hi, Tom. Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast. How are you today? I'm doing great. Thanks. How about yourself?

I'm doing good. I don't think anyone ever asks me how I'm doing when I say that. Anyway, Tom, listen, you are a guy who likes to wear panties. And you also are into, someone would say S-M-H, small, no, SPH, small penis humiliation, too. You have that going on at the same time, correct? Two separate fetishes. Or do they typically, maybe they do go together sometimes. I don't know.

Yeah, I feel like all my fetishes kind of like connect to some degree. Yeah. Well, do you have other ones? I think it's all sort of kind of related to like sissy type stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm a cuck type stuff. Mm-hmm. Are you into cuck stuff as well?

Are you a cuck? No, I'm not an actual cuck. Most of everything that I wanted to talk about today, I feel like mostly exists, like, in my head. I'd love to maybe move on some of this stuff. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Problematic, I think. Yeah, listen, that's not an easy thing to bring up on the first date or the 10th date or, I don't know.

Let's start, though, where you're at. right now. Are you married or are you single? I'm married. Okay. So, and how long have you been married? So my second wife and we've been married 13 years now. Oh, wow. Okay. And you sound young, but how old are you? I just turned 40 last month. Okay, 40. So you've been married twice. Do your wives, ex-wife, this wife know anything about any of your fetishes? My ex-no. I was a lot younger and just not as forthright with her. But my current spouse, she definitely has an idea of a lot of it. I've slowly over the past like few years, been more forward with her.

But to the extent, I don't think she knows the full extent. There definitely is like a secret life going on. And what is that full extent? Are you wearing panties underneath your clothes and she has no ideas about it? That's part of it for sure. I did Most recently I did reveal to her somewhat that it was a fantasy

We've explored Cassidy And like me wearing a cock cage Yeah And she's entertained it We've A little bit because she knows that that's something I'm into I don't think she really like

Gets it per se But she does it for you Yeah Yeah And so I want I keep wanting to push the limits and push the limits to some degree. And so recently, as what I thought would be like kind of like a sexy picture,

I took a picture of me wearing her panties with like with the cock cage underneath. Yeah. And she just, it was, I think it was just a little too much for her. I could imagine. I mean, that is like, guys are kind of dumb. No offense. But, you know, and I'm lumping. I'm not saying you're dumb.

I'm saying all guys are fucking dumb because like only a guy. would think that a girl would want to be told about something in that way. And I think dick picks are delivered in the same way that you delivered that pick. Guys are just kind of clueless on how women's brains work. Yeah. Yeah. I concur. Yeah.

I mean, like, here you are, like, kind of crossing a line. And really, you wanted to be bold and do something that you had never done before. And instead of, like, kind of sitting her. down and talking it over. You just sent her a picture. Yeah. Sexting her. Yeah.

And was it during the day when she's like at fucking work? Oh my gosh. You know it was. This is what I mean. This is where guys are so dumb. They send dickpicks in the middle of the day at 1 p.m. Listen, if you really want to catch me when I may be horny, send it at 11 p.m. Not at 1 p.m. in the daytime.

I mean, here you are. Sending her something so hard. core in the middle of the day when she's like at work. This is funny. I was about to say, I've had a lot better luck with her, as you might expect, like, after we've had some drinks. Yeah, of course. So that's where I've generally introduced new things to her.

Yeah, that's the time to do it. Yeah. Okay, so let's get, let's get to your story. Now, let's go back a little bit now first, though. When was the first time you realized you were to panties and small penis humiliation? Which one came first? I think the panties thing kind of came first just because I wouldn't, you know, and I think some of it, to be honest, when I go back and I, before the call, I thought, maybe I should think where did this come from? Yeah.

I think some of it's just repressed. But I know that, like, it was something I took note of, of, like, my mother's underwear and, like, in the laundry. And it's, I think, kind of, like, festered in the background to some degree where, I think, I think, I think, like, festered in the background to some degree where, I just enjoyed looking at them. I enjoyed the smell of them. And it wasn't something that, like, I entertained putting on until much, much, much later in life, like, much more recently now. Oh, interesting. So you didn't even wear panties until recently, like in your 30s, 40s?

Yeah. I mean, honestly, I feel like my other sort of, like, fetishes of, like, almost, like snowballed and taken up speed lately. Yeah, interesting. That's weird. I wonder why. I don't know. Part of me thinks it's just that I want attention from my wife.

Oh. And I don't, I guess this is probably not the best way to go about it. But I also, I also just, I guess, have allowed myself to really explore my sexuality through porn and, through masturbation and to any, any which way that my mind would take me. And so I think all this stuff, like you said, has kind of always been around. I enjoyed sniffing panties and even with my ex-wife kind of secretly. And then in terms of the, that specific fetish, I've allowed myself, like I said, more recently to put them on, to masturbating them.

I really have get turned on by getting with a cam girl showing her because I can't really show anywhere else. And then that sort of is combined with the small penis humiliation essentially part of it, where they see me in the panties. They comment on the size of my dick. And it, it. can just be such, it can just be so arousing to let myself go in that moment. That's interesting. Now, is your dick really that small?

It's, I mean, it's average. It's five inches. Because it's not like, just because you have a small penis humiliation thing, that means you have a really tiny dick, right? I mean, I've learned that through talking to a lot of guys with this fetish. It's not necessarily every guy that has us has the tiniest little dick. Like, your average size, but for some reason, you like to feel. inadequate. Yeah, I really like the the submissive role of all this stuff to some degree. And that's, and that plays into it for me. Yeah, that's interesting. What are you like in your regular life? Take away all of this stuff. Are you the opposite of submissive in your regular life? Did you have to

take that role as a young child? Like, do you, can you put it, peg why you would love to be submissive over there because maybe you're very alpha in your regular life like a lot of other people talk about? Well, I mean, I'm in the Army. I kind of have that sort of stereotypical like

masculine type job. And that's been since I was 18. And so that's a life that I've been around, been in. And so I don't know if that feeds into it. Yeah, it's just, I just, you never know. I don't know. I just know that sometimes submissive.

people or people who have a lot. They were the opposite. Like maybe as a young child, they had a lot of responsibility and everything. So, you know, releasing all of that and being submissive is like the release and that feels good. But it's interesting that you, that all of this is really coming in now. So you didn't wear the panties until recently. And I can't wait to get into what's going on with you and your wife that this is coming up

because you didn't say, oh, I want to get more attention from her. But I still want to go back to your childhood. Was the small penis humiliation thing there then at all? I think what it was to some degree was I did notice, like, in the locker room that my seemingly, at least then, like, my size seemed much smaller. And I noticed like a lot of the attention that the other boys at the time who had, larger penises would get. And then I sort of like, I feel like I don't know if there's an element of bisexuality involved with it to some degree.

Because I do, I do have throughout my growing up, just have such more vivid memories of these other men or boys with these larger penises. And I even find myself really drawn to that type of pornography. But I think there's another sort of part to it. it that ties into the small penis humiliation. And I think if I'm honest with myself, it probably ties back to my ex-wife cheating on me multiple times. Oh, yeah. And yeah. So I think that's part of it, too. Well, let's go there. So when you're younger, you remember these things about yourself. Like you could point to them, right, in your memory, like looking at guys that had bigger dicks than you and seeing all the attention

they got, you know, so those are like little tells for you, but it wasn't, there wasn't anything more than that going on when you were younger with a small penis humiliation. It went up a notch when you were cheated on. Is that what happened? Yeah. I think that's, I definitely think I, I got married. I didn't have a ton of sexual encounters when I was in high school or as I when I was younger and I got married very young. And so when I happened to be deployed and it's like stereotypical, the wife's back home on MySpace and I find out that she's got, she's traipsing around with whoever. Wow. In my head, I think when I went to the place where this person must be more well endowed than me.

Oh, okay. Mm-hmm. And then we reconciled a little bit, but then she did it again. And so I think that part of it, honestly, it plays into like my cuck fantasy to some degree that I have currently. Mm-hmm. And I don't know not to psychoanalyze myself. Maybe it's like empowering to me to take it back almost. Yeah.

Mm-hmm. It's turning that jealousy into a turn on. I totally get that. I've talked to many people who that's how their cuckled fetish started because of something like that, for sure. Yeah. So I think to that degree, I mean, I feel like that is a similarity to a lot of other people, like you said. Yeah, and it might have touched upon that feeling of how you felt in the locker room when you saw other guys that were bigger than you. That's something that you probably put together just because of what stood out to you and how you saw men.

It's like a woman. Listen, if my guy cheats on me, I'm going to think, oh, it must be because she's prettier than me. And then when she's not, you're like, what the fuck? It doesn't make sense. Because it's really, he's never about those things. But, you know, we do tend to look at things that way. So for you, it was like, oh, she's fucking this guy. He must be bigger than me. And I'm, I'm smaller, right? Yes, absolutely. And then you wind up turning that horrifying feeling into something that turns you on. right yeah is that interesting yeah it is I mean the sexuality in the human mind is just so crazy

yeah yeah and so okay so she cheats on you is that why you guys get divorced or do you stay with her well I stay with her after she cheats on me the first time I forgive her

yeah yeah and but ultimately it just it doesn't end and so a year later it happens again and ultimately that I took that opportunity to say to cut slang at that point. We didn't have any children and it was just better off for us to part ways.

So then when do you start secretly fantasizing about those kinds of scenarios? Like when does it become a turn on for you? Well, to some degree, I think it kind of almost, it's, I think I learned about it because the way you stumble across things with the internet and whatnot. that like with exploring the my panty fetish essentially and it's these I it sort of ties it can tie into that if you're on certain websites and whatnot and then I explored it and I realized that it was very very arousing to me and then it came together with your other stuff I mean it kind of like is the perfect storm exactly and I realized like that as I real and as I got deeper and deeper down this rabbit hole is I realized that I realized that it was okay for me me to be turned on by that. And better.

I think it's like what would you rather feel total jealousy and feel horrible about yourself or feel turned on if you're. Yeah. Do you think? It's like taking, like you said it, it's like taking the power back. Exactly. And it's, I mean, I've, I don't, it feels odd to say out loud that I've enjoyed it, but I have.

Yeah. No, it's so interesting. I have a guy who's been on my show many times this guy Jay and he's like a true cuckled. and he's been, you know, he has a wife who's got boyfriends in fucking forever and he's so in love with her and it's all good. But he remembers a girlfriend cheating on him when he was in high school and making out with the guy right in front of him. And that's like what really triggered it all. And he's been enjoying being turned on by that for the rest of his fucking life. Yeah, it's crazy.

I think I heard that episode actually. Yeah, yeah. He's great. He's been doing it for a really long time. And I think, listen, I've had a lot of cuckold gone wrong stories, but I like to show all sides, not just positive, not just negative, but all different sides. You can be successful at it. He has, but then you also hear of the cuck ones that aren't.

But let's get back to you. So now you know that you're into the whole cheating thing or cuckolding, and that's like a fantasy of yours. When do you eventually meet your new wife? And when do you tell her some things about yourself and what were those things that you told her? Oh, man. I had met her shortly after we divorced.

worst and I mean I did not go into any of it right away we we had great you know still have good chemistry but we were having sex a lot and it just wasn't my fetishes weren't like I feel like at the forefront or something I obviously didn't want to scare her away to some degree as well of course because that's like a weird thing to tell someone like oh yeah but like I really love to you for you to cheat on me yeah I mean like I would never understand if I didn't do my show and I talked to so many people. I think a lot of people don't even understand that these kinds of things exist. Yeah, I mean, I definitely think that's true.

Yeah, it's very counterintuitive that somebody would be turned on by that. So I think the regular person wouldn't even know that this is like a thing. I mean, I certainly let my wife into that category. Right, of course. Yeah, most people are in that category. I'm only not in that category because I did my show, but that was one of the biggest sort of light bulb moments when I did my show that this is something that a lot of guys are really into. I had never heard of it because I have a lot of guy friends.

We always talked about things, but it's not something that people really put on the table. It's not so out there, right? It's on my show a lot, but this is what I'm doing here. But in the regular world, I don't think people really talk about it. So what was the fetish? Because you've got a lot of them that you let her know about. it. Well, so I think it kind of like, in the background of like for a few years, really, I just continued to explore online and explore myself, like all the different other things that are

tied into like these type of fetishes, like, like cum eating and really, actually, that was something I had already explored prior to even that marriage, but. What do you mean? With a guy? Like in real life? No, I remember that one of the first times that I tried it. With yourself. Yeah, I've tried for a long time, but I've never really successfully done it where you walk your legs up a wall and then try to actually like ejaculate on your face. Oh, is that what guys do?

Yeah. I mean, I saw a video on it and I've done it. And I've done it a few times. And it, not with much success. I'm not a very, good aim. Yeah, I'm not a very limber man. Oh, that's funny.

Maybe if I had a longer Johnson. That's so funny. I mean, it makes sense. Like you just scoot up against the wall. Now it's pointing down. You jerk off it and come goes right in your face. Seems pretty easy to me. I mean, in some sort of ideal world,

where I'm married to a dominatrix. These are the type of things I could enjoy in my house with the assistance of somebody else. Right, right. So, okay, so you've been eating your own calm. I mean, none of these things you've ever done really in real life. Have you ever been into like straight up guy on guy action? I enjoy bisexual porn. And I mean, I have watched gay porn too.

And I think that I would be interested in exploring that side of me too. and part of, I guess, what I have shared with my wife is we have on occasion when we're having sex, she will allow me to explore that fantasy where she may talk about like a man coming into our bed or having sex with me. And so she knows that that is something that turns me on, even though I've never really verbalized it to her. It has happened organically sometimes in our bedroom. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, I definitely appreciate that about her. Because really, I think the answer your first question was like, how did I start to introduce what I liked to her?

Yeah. And it really was the introduction of like anal play toys essentially, like prostate toys and then eventually dildos. And then really like the biggest thing that I had like my biggest sort of. I don't know what would say confession, but I guess confession to her was a few years ago, which sort of, I think, started the ball starting to accelerate to where I am now, was when I had actually asked her to peg me. And that she, I don't think, she did do it. She has told, she told me after the fact that she wasn't really into it.

But since then, we've continued to explore, like, that, like, fantasy of being, like, penetrated by a man or by a dildo further. So, I mean, that's kind of where we're at with it now. But it's not really discussed openly. I mean, it's, she knows that I like it. And so she'll offer to do it on like my birthday or something. Because she knows you're into it. She's not really that into it, but she'll throw you a bone when it's like a special

occasion. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. To get 15% off and have yourself the best. the best orgasm ever. She knows you like play, you like anal stuff and everything

and that's really what you put on the table the first time. It is, yeah. Did she have questions for you when you brought that up? No, not really. She didn't say like, oh, do you like guys? Are you and would you want a guy

to fuck you in the ass? I think a lot of times that's what a woman's first thought would be if her guy comes to her and says, I'm into anal action. And that's why I think a lot of, of guys don't cop to it. Yeah, she's,

she's not, she's not really super forward with any of her thoughts, like even, even fantasies. And I'm, but I'm like hypersexual almost. And she knows that about me. So I think like when I came to her and I was into this like other sexual play, I think she just put it in that category.

But she's willing to like I said, do like these fantasy play or even teasing about it occasionally in, in the moment of, you know, me being attracted to a guy or something. Right. So obviously she had that in her mind because why else would she have brought up that fantasy in the bedroom, right? I mean, that's right. That is the role play that's going down.

So she did as a woman think, oh, maybe he's into guys and she brings it up. But she's never come to you in real life, like outside of the bedroom and said, hey, is there something that you want to tell me? Like, are you into guys? Like, she's never, she's not, she won't communicate like that with you. No. Yeah, it's all like pillow talk type stuff. Well, that's okay. I mean, listen, it would probably you'd get farther, maybe that if you had those conversations, it's weird that you can't have those conversations because it seems like she's open to these things and she does play. It's interesting

that she can't sit down and talk about it, but she could do it. But I don't know, you still got her at least fantasizing about it. So you're kind of ahead of a lot of people. but not ideally where you want to be, right? Yeah, yeah. Why do you think, like you said that, I mean, we're a little all over the place, but I don't know, it's kind of interesting to me. You said that at some point,

like I feel like a lot of these things are snowballing and coming to the forefront and you feel like it's somehow related to you wanting more attention from your wife. What is that all about? Well, I think, like, for instance, I, I like for instance like with the chastity cage or like the cock cage I just bought that and showed it to her and said that I was into it but that whole fantasy is predicated on the fact that like your partner really wants to like tease and deny you essentially and so we in terms of like our sex life it's it's really kind of straightforward I want to say I don't want to say I don't

want to say it's like mundane, but it's, it's kind of predictable. And I feel like I don't get enough attention or affection from her outside of, hey, I'll throw you a bone and we'll have sex once a week. And so I know introducing the, the Chastity Cage was an effort to not only explore that sort of fantasy of being submissive and like that, but also like to garner attention that I feel like was missing. And what is that for you that she's not giving you? Is it like emotional? Is it like physical touch? Like cuddling? What is it that you're not getting at home? Yeah. I think it's all those things, to be honest. Yeah. And because I don't really have a baseline of that. It's now I'm now I feel like I as to counteract that, I'm almost like allowing myself to sort of like,

I don't want to say like love on myself, but basically if I if I'm not going to get like a normal type even baseline like affection, physical touch, sort of emotional support, I feel like now I'm going down a rabbit hole where I'm like, let me just explore myself further and do what I feel like makes me feel the best. Yeah, because you're not going to get it from her. Stop looking over there. Just do it for yourself. And now you're finding out all these things about yourself that maybe were repressed before. Right. But then what happened? Does that create more of a disconnect between you and your wife or does it make you make you feel closer? Like how does it affect your relationship? I think that my hope is that I can kind of like slowly over time reveal more and more of myself

and that eventually things will just, it sounds dumb to say, we'll fix themselves because things don't just generally fix themselves. But I don't want it to drive a weather. And I don't think it is. It's just I don't, to some degree, don't know how to communicate what I want, I guess. Yeah, neither one of you do. I mean, you don't really talk about things, like you said. And, you know, listen, you want more from her, but maybe she doesn't even know. Does she know that you want more attention?

I mean, you're sending her, like, picks of you wearing panties and that's your way of getting attention. But she doesn't hear it that way. When you sent her that pick, she doesn't hear in her head, hi, babe, I need more attention from you, I'm missing that in my life. You know what I mean? You're like saying everything but what you really want to tell her. Have you told her that you need more in those areas besides the fetish stuff?

No. Yeah, isn't that interesting? Like, why not? I guess I don't, I mean, what I want to say is that I wish that she could just figure it out or see from my actions. And again, it feels stupid to say. But because she's, she's a person who she is. And so it's dumb that she would be anyone else. No, I'm saying this, forget about your fetishes.

Okay, we're going to get back into that. But I mean, just the basic like needs that you're not getting met at home. The ones like just the cuddling, just the attention, the emotional connection that you don't feel is there. A little bit of that is missing. You feel like you want more of that. Have you told her that? That's an easy thing to say. You need to communicate those things in partnership, especially long-term ones, because that's the kind of stuff that does drive a wedge and that wedge becomes bigger and bigger.

And then 30 years later, you don't even know who the fuck you're with anymore and you could care less. I mean, this happens all the time. This is like the common stuff. Yeah, you're absolutely right. And part of me is like I feel like I have, but I know that I haven't done it effectively to the point where. anything that's changed. Listen, maybe she doesn't know how to change. I mean, it might not just all be you. And look, you're less needy of those things from her, maybe because these were things you could give yourself, and that's maybe what you needed all along. Maybe what you needed more was just this self-exploration, right?

And that is fulfilling you on some level, because maybe these things were always there. You know what I mean? Yeah, absolutely. And I know, like right now, it just is manifesting itself. and kind of what we talked about earlier was I'm like trying to like form like a quick bond with a cam girl over something or an only fan's model. But really it's not even necessarily completely about the fetish. It's more just about the attention. And I mean, I'm not, I'm far from a perfect husband anyway. I mean, I think when I've, and this is like, off topic to some degree, but because I feel like I'm, this sex life is not there. When I'm out with just like my guy friends, then now I'm seeking out like a massage parlor or I'm seeing like in the red light district and it's all sort of like don't ask, don't tell at home

and she doesn't ask and I don't tell. And then we just move on with life. Okay, let's go. Okay, this is not off topic. This is right on topic with my fucking show. Okay, so wait, have you been doing these kinds of things in the red light district, in the massage pollers, and she's kind of giving you the hall pass?

Like, don't ask, don't tell you can, and that's cool. I don't understand. I mean, I haven't been doing like any type, any fetish type stuff yet. I mean, but what are you doing in those places? Haven't sucks. Okay, so it's not fetish stuff, but you are having sex now. Does your wife give you the,

the hall pass for that? I'm confused. Would if she knew explicitly what I was doing? No, she would. That's, it's just not discussed. It's, oh, hey, she knows, she knows, like, basically, hey, did you go to the strip club? And I can say answer yes to that.

But if I, this was not, this wasn't recently, this was a number of years ago, but come home like at three or four in the morning. I mean, I don't have to give a full itinerary that I, you know, had gone to a whore house, essentially. Yeah, you're funny the way you explain things because the way you said it initially and lobbed it out there, it was kind of like, you're not really cheating on her because it's like, don't ask, don't tell. I mean, she probably knows, but I don't tell her, so she doesn't want the details. But like she should. Nobody is assuming that you're out fucking people, even if you're out till three o'clock in the morning.

Okay. Sorry. That's not like a given. Okay, even if you're at a strip club Maybe she trusts you She thinks you're just like putting dollar bills down on girls panties But you're not fucking them in the back room Okay, so

So basically what you're saying is you cheat on her sometimes Not recently, but I have, yeah Yeah Okay And not recently but you've fucked strippers Like when you've gone to strip clubs Is that what you've done? I mean, yeah, like massage parlors or

Yeah, like whorehouses essentially Now as somebody like before your wife cheated on you were you did you ever cheat on anyone before? No. Do you feel like that's related or you just feel like you are going and getting serviced? Because some guys just need every now and then a hand job maybe. They're not getting it at home or they want a little variety. I mean, was it about that or do you think it's somehow connected to the fact that you were cheated on at some point in your life? Well, I think two things really.

One is I think it's really just a completely like transactional thing. Right, exactly. But the thing I think that is a little problematic that I've thought of lately that sort of, I guess almost to some degree led to me calling you. Yeah. Was like this I got, I signed up for Only fans and I realized on there I could I felt myself, I've never felt this before. but I felt myself susceptible to, could I emotionally attach to someone on here or in real life if I really let myself? And that to me was a little troublesome to find out about myself.

Yeah, and that's maybe what you need. That's maybe the conversation you need to have with your wife to really make her realize that things need to change. I once had somebody tell me that that's what their therapist told her. guy to come home and say and I thought it was a very smart thing listen I'm not I I never cheated I don't want to cheat but I'm afraid that if the opportunity like came around that I would because I'm not getting what I need at home and I've told you many times do you know what I mean yeah yeah no you're right lit the fire under that girl's ass okay and I was like wow what a smart thing to do

because that's really letting the person know. And it's very honest. It's very honest. It's not easy, but it makes sense. Yeah. I mean, listen, you could have three more conversations about your needs that you really want and be very specific about what you need more at home, that attention and stuff. Because obviously, you wouldn't be feeling that way of wanting to emotionally attach to someone

else if those emotional needs were happening at home. And like I said, this happens a lot in regular relationships. because you just get on autopilot in long-term relationships and life happens. I don't know if you guys have kids. You have kids? It doesn't sound like that. You do. Okay.

So you got kids. You got careers. You've been together a long time. People grow apart all the time. It's super common. And who's cuddling after 10 years? You know, we're doing those things that you do in the beginning.

Those things get out the window with everybody. You have to make a conscious decision to tend to that kind of stuff. And a lot of people don't. Most people don't. It's easier not to. It's the harder thing to do. do is to work on your fucking relationship all the time. And it does need work and it does need tending to 10 years in. It's not like, oh, you could just forget about it. You got it. But that's

the way I think people approach it. And I get it. But you need to have more conversations with your girl. You guys don't have obviously a communication issue. And maybe all of your fetish stuff and everything is coming out. There might be a little acting out there going on with you because you're not happy. Yeah, that's fair. I think that's, I think that's accurate to disagree. Yeah, because there's an escape in all of that. And you're escaping the problems. I'm not saying that those don't exist and they're not right, but you could be escaping in them and using them to avoid the reality of some of your issues that you have going on and the things that you don't want to do, which is have the tough conversations with your girl. And she needs to have them with you too. Because I really, I really feel like,

She sounds pretty open and she's not dumb. She got the fact that you might be into the guy things and she's okay with it. She throws that out there for you and stuff. I mean, you could work with somebody like her. She's not totally closed off. There's a window of opportunity there with her. I think if you just talk more. Someone has to be better at communicating because she's not and you're not so great either.

But I think you're better than her. I think you have to be the one to get to fucking talking. I think you're right. And I think I know that the escapeism is there for sure. I mean, it's gotten so bad with the escapism that I've stumbled across like hypnoporn essentially. Yeah, there you go. Perfect. And so it's, they even have, there's like hip, like this track that's called Bambi sleep.

Yeah. And you just, I don't know, like I never thought that I would want to hypnotize myself to escape. to escape from whatever's going on. Yeah, who wouldn't want to? Of course, it's the same thing. I mean, listen, when you're like horny and jerking off, it's like being drunk. You're in another place.

You're not thinking of what's going on. And I think that you have, I think it's a real basic thing. It's interesting. It's like a fetish Friday episode, but it's more like a, I think it's more common and there's a lot here. And I don't know how to title it so that the right people hear it

because I think what's gold about this episode is here you are. Forget about the panty fetish, a small penis humiliation. You're like a guy that's having marital issues. The typical ones that happen in long-term relationships and you are doing everything but confronting them, which most people do. And it's dangerous because you have kind of cheated and maybe back then it was like, oh, just a little like transactional thing. But now it could be something more detrimental. And this is where you're at. And it's not a, a good place and you need to do something about it and going over there and sending her pictures of you in panties and all this other stuff is just all avoiding what the real issues are. I think

it's deeper than your fetishes. That's all something that I think if you guys learn to communicate more about the basic things and the regular things like you then will be able to communicate about these things more too. And it sounds like she'd be open to them. Really, she's already seen you in the panties. The fact that she wasn't into it, I get it. You just, you did it all the wrong way, but she didn't fucking divorce you or come home crying hysterically, did she? No, she didn't. I mean, we had a conversation about it and I kind of just told her that, I mean, I just reassured her. She doesn't have to be into everything that I'm into. And we kind of just left it at that. Right. So I feel like once you crack the code of just talking to her about the regular things, all this other stuff

could be discussed and talked about and who knows where you could be if you really started talking and get her to start talking and you need to start talking because this is where sometimes people go down different paths. You could be divorced in five years. I don't know if that's something you want if you're not happy, but it just sounds like you need to tend to your relationship. And your fetishes, it's fine that they're all coming out now. I think that they're always there. but you could probably be having more fun with doing them with your wife than doing them solo because I think that that's just

taking you away from the relationship and that's not where you want to go if you want this relationship to last. I mean, that's everything you're saying is true. I mean it's and it's obvious to some degree but not like I said I mean

I it part of me just wonders I think the way that I'm approaching it right now like what you said earlier, instead of being up front or trying to have a small conversation about having more affection, I'm instead like basically trying to get caught doing something. Yeah, it's apatish.

And then just making it really inflammatory and then hoping that I can make it work after the fact. Yeah, which is so dumb, but I get it in a weird way. That's like human nature. It's bizarre. You're doing something to me way harder. You're setting her like pictures of you in panties. But yet you can't just go and say, hey, I need more attention, affection. I want you to cuddle with me.

I think maybe it is harder for guys to say that. I mean, I feel like it's difficult to say. Yeah. I feel like maybe she wants something different. What do you mean want something different or just would never see you that way? Is it emasculating, you feel like? Maybe. Yeah.

I mean, I guess I want to say something like to say how I think she's feeling, but I guess I just really don't even know. Is she cold? Kind of. I mean, 13 years later, kind of. Mm-hmm. She's just involved in her own things. Yeah. I mean, she's not, she's not like completely frigid ice.

Yeah, I got it. I get it. But right. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I think women don't understand that, these kind of things about men. And I don't know that they even take them seriously. I think more men are going to be listening to this episode than women. But women need to know that guys do need these things too.

And it is serious. And, you know, when that girl's husband said, listen, I am afraid I would cheat. If that opportunity came, I would. And I'm afraid of that because that's not how I ever was. But it was really because that person wasn't giving him what he wanted, which was attention and stuff. And I don't think women take that shit seriously when it comes to guys. But guys need that stuff too.

and you need to really let her know and you need to stay on the topic at hand just like your basic needs that you need all that other stuff you could get Yeah so don't just like tell her Like 6,000 other fantasies that I want to play out in the moment No because I don't think that your issues with her about that I think like I said I think it's good that because of this

You are finding out more about yourself and you have gone there I mean that's not a negative thing I think your exploration and you're you're diving into it is because you got nothing going on here in your real life. So you're like, let's go figure out myself, right? Because this bitch isn't paying attention to me. You know what I mean? Like, I get it. So there's nothing wrong with that. It's kind of good. And I do think that you could bring all this stuff back into your relationship. Like I said, once you crack the code of how having, being able to talk to each other more and being more honest and being more communicative with each other

than all these other things you could communicate more. And she'd probably be cool. And there is some sort of probably middle ground that you guys could meet on. Because it sounds like she has done things for you. And she rolls that way. She's not kind of like, fuck you. Yeah. Yeah.

No, you're right. You're right. I mean, do you want this marriage to last? I do. I mean, I don't want to get divorced. Okay. I know that definitively. Okay.

So if you don't want to get divorced, then like you said, I'm doing stuff and I almost want to get caught. It's like you're just, you're, it's going to be worse. You'll still wind up at the same place, but why go down the worst path instead of going down the easier path, which is just say something. It's like the person that's always complaining that they hate their job, they hate their job, and then they get fired. Well, if you just would have found another fucking job, you could have walked out of that

workplace with your head up high, but now you're like fucking humiliated. Here you are like just upset because you're not getting your needs met, but you're going to wind up like humiliating yourself and getting to the point where you needed to get, which was like having this open conversation where you lay everything on the table, but you might be doing it like, oh my God, she caught me with a fucking cam girl or something. You know what I mean? Yep. Yep. Yeah. You're right. And then what's going to happen at the end of that conversation, you're going to break down and be like, but it's because you're not giving me attention. Just go there. Go there before you get caught doing something. Go be there before you have an

affair. Go there now. Or go there with your fucking. head hanging down, which is, those are your choices. Because what happens is you will sabotage and you will get busted because you're on that path. Yeah, I really am. Yeah. So do it with your head fucking hide. Like, just do it. And, you know, maybe you need some couple counseling. You just need some conversations. Who knows? This is like normal shit though. It's, it's something that can be done. It just, it's, and it's something that you guys should do if you want to go another 10 years. You're not the first person that said it. So I appreciate it. other people tell you the same thing?

Well, I mean, I go see a counselor about like work stress stuff and she's kind of annoying and I don't really tell her the truth about anything. That's a waste of your fucking time. She's aware that my wife, I don't communicate well. She talks to you about it all the time. Look, you're not even communicating with your therapist. You're like, I don't even tell her everything. She's so annoying.

Get a new fucking therapist. You waste it. I know. I mean, it is hard to find a good therapist for sure. I say this all the time. It's hard to find somebody good that cuts your hair. It's hard to find a good doctor. It's hard to find a good anything. Most people that do their jobs do their jobs not good, right? I mean, most people suck at everything that they do. And there's 10% of people that do their job fucking great. Okay. Sorry. It's true. Yeah, that's an interesting way to put it. But that's accurate. Yeah, it's true. Most doctors suck. But there's, but there's, but there's, some fucking great ones. Most hair dressers suck, but there's only the good ones. That's the way that it rolls. I never settle for anyone in the 90%. I fire everyone until I get my 10%, I have the best fucking hairdresser. I have the best fucking nanny. I have the best fucking doctors. I have the best fucking everything. I had the best fucking therapist because I fired five before I got to the one that I did. You will know the right one. So I think it's time for you to get maybe a better therapist to start looking or go to her and start communicating with your fucking therapist.

I don't know, but you're not communicating or with her right if you're not really bringing everything to the table. And if she's annoying, you're really not going to listen to her and you need someone that's going to help you. But maybe you guys need couple therapy. Maybe put out going to couples therapy because she needs therapy too, your wife. I know. She does. It just seems a couple's therapy just always seems like the beginning of the end. No. You're out of your mind. What do you mean the beginning of the end? No, this is the beginning of the end. What you're doing now not getting couples therapy.

Couples therapy does not seem like the beginning of the end. I mean, come on. This is good. Couples therapy helps. Couples therapy is the beginning of the end if you're doing it when you're dating someone six months in, okay? That's like a red flag. But, you know, a couple that decides that they need help in the middle of their marriage,

that is not the beginning of the end. I mean, come on. So what, pretending that you're not at the beginning of the end? is better like I don't know what it doesn't even make sense you're like admitting that you guys have issues you're going to show up at couples therapy exactly where you are right now so it doesn't mean anything that you go like you think putting that label on it that you go means you have more problems than you have you have problems you need couple therapy live in fucking reality that's true that's fair I mean you know what I'm saying it's like ridiculous yeah you have some

something in your mind you're like labeling it's something and that's like your block but just go there it's not the beginning of the end. Absolutely not. That could really help you if you find the right person and get you really back on track. In my defense, I went to couple therapy with my ex-wife and by the second session in, I realized I don't want to be with this person anymore. Yeah, well, maybe one of you will realize that. Who knows? But so see, it worked. Yeah, I guess it did work. But don't think just because that happened over there that that's going to happen here, okay?

You're right. That's not what typically goes down in couples therapy. Listen, sometimes people have outgrown each other. Sometimes people do want to go their separate ways. Like sometimes that happens, and couples therapy maybe will bring somebody to realize that. I don't think that's going to happen here. You guys just need to communicate better. You don't want to go anywhere.

It doesn't sound like she wants to go anywhere. So just talk to somebody. You need a little help. Just talking to each other. These things that come up, they'll facilitate like these conversations because you can't have them for some reason. And she's not hearing you when you say it. And so just do it before you sabotage and ruin things by getting quote unquote attention in the wrong way. So listen, Tom, I'm obsessed with psychoanalyzing.

I love therapy. I love this conversation that we just had. I think it's like really interesting. It's funny because we really, I just thought we were going to talk about. you wearing panties and we just kind of it became more about like your your life but I think it's it's interesting and I think probably a lot of people with a fetish at times of their life when they're dealing with something might go there to escape and and really do that so I think it's super interesting I love where the conversation went I hope you do it was like a free therapy session for you

I really did appreciate it Kathy honestly yeah good I'm glad I mean listen I think that the conversation goes the way it's supposed to go. So I'm glad that you enjoyed it. I really enjoyed it. I like this episode because I think it's one of those things where you go in for one thing and you wind up getting so much more out of it. So I'll have to figure out how to title it. I still will put it on a fetish Friday because like I said, I think a lot of people might use their fetish as a form of escapism sometimes. So we'll get them in with the fetish, but we'll then maybe give them a good therapy session while they're added to because I think that there's a lot of things that people could learn from because I don't think that you're alone. I think your

problem that you're having. What we're talking about is very common. So it was super interested. So thanks for being so honest with me about all your stuff. Yeah. It feels great to say it out loud. Yeah. Awesome. And you'll get more out of it when you hear it too. So it'll be up in a couple weeks. I don't know exactly when, but I'll let you know. You could always send in picks for my Patreon. I have a cross-dressing tier and like a panty-hose tier. I also have a Discord channel now where people are going on there and like getting more naughty with each other. It's more like a private forum. I don't get involved there.

But if you call into my show, you get free access to it. And you could go there as well. I will send you a link when your episode is up and I'll let you know when it's coming up and you get some of me picks if you want. Awesome. Thank you so much. Yeah. And I've checked out all that stuff. I really love all your Patreon stuff.

Oh, are you on my Patreon? Yeah. Oh, okay. Cool. I'm all over it. All right. All right. All right, Tom, thanks so much for calling in.

I'll keep you posted about your episode and good luck with everything. Thank you so much. Okay, bye. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available not only in paperback and ebook, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show.

I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang being girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person. And they're all true.

I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person. And I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like Penthouse letter. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. 17 of them. They're really short chapters. Easy read. You could read one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format. And finally, the audiobook is available coming out August 25th. But you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it. it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint. Okay. There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me. Okay. I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other. And that's what you get to do there. You could post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have

lots of contests where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total, strictly anonymous community and you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord. It's private, like I said. All you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook or the paperback. Send it to me at strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. That's strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. And I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in. This is the Strickley Anonymous podcast. Hey, everyone. Thanks so much for tuning in to this week's episode. If you want to follow the

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