Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 795 - Elijah is a Trans Man who's had Threesomes & Moresomes & now Considers himself Asexual?!

Episode Date: March 28, 2024

Elijah is a trans man who's had threesomes and moresomes and now considers himself asexual and he called in to talk all about it. Tune in to hear all about his gay vibe he had when he was younger, the sexual abuse he encountered while in foster care, how he met his first girlfriend who was promiscuous, how and when he met and married his wife, how he caught her lying and cheating on him and how that led to them opening up their marriage, the threesome they had with a girl and what went down, the threesome they had with a guy and what went down, how and why seeing his wife with a guy was super confusing, the threesome they had with a trans woman and what he enjoyed most about that experience, his wife’s interest in her feet and what he did to her feet to turn her on, how and why they eventually got divorced and how he transitioned and became passable as a male after the divorce, how and why he then went on to grinder searching for guys to hook up with, the guys he did hook up with and how he felt about it, the trans guy he hooked up with and the kinky things he wanted him to do, why he doesn’t like oral sex with anyone and how that can be a problem, how and why he now thinks he’s asexual, his libido and what might be the cause of it being so low, how and why he is currently attending sex parties even though he’s asexual, why Kathy doesn’t believe he is asexual plus a whole lot more. **To see pics of ELIJAH plus anonymous pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This Memorial Day, shop one of avocado's biggest mattress sales of the year and fall in love with sleep again. At avocado, better sleep starts with better materials. Our certified organic mattresses are crafted without compromise, using high-quality organic materials that bring comfort and support into perfect balance. No polyurethane foams, no shortcuts, just a cleaner, more natural sleep experience that your body will appreciate night after night. night. So you fall asleep more easily. Stay asleep longer and wake up feeling refreshed and ready for the day ahead. That's sleep with purpose. This Memorial Day, discover what it means to truly sleep well. Upgrade and save up to 20% on our award-winning mattresses. Shop the Memorial Day sale now and get up to 20% off at avocado mattress.com or select retailers nationwide. Visit avocado mattress.com. That's

avocado mattress.com. Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. The Craigslist is definitely like the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Singapore or Thailand.

You can't not do it. The temptation is just too much. It's real problem. Do your friend know that you're banging her or no? No, he has no idea. And anything goes. The motto of the show, let your freak flag fly. Probably the only good advice I'll ever give you is to re-hide your mind.

whips and shame. Here is your host, Kathy. Hey, welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast with Kathy. If you want to follow the strictly anonymous podcast on Instagram or Twitter, follow the show at Strict Anonymous. If you have a naughty, interesting story that you want to talk about while remaining anonymous or not anonymous, I'd love to also have you on my show. Send me an email, strictly anonymous podcast.com, or go to my website, Strickly Anonymouspodcast.com. And click on, be on the show. If you have a naughty confession that you want to be aired on an episode, I now do naughty confession episodes. I do one a week. You could call my confessions hotline.

You could call that number 247. 347, 4203579. That's 347, 4203579. I think you get four minutes leave a message. If you need longer, just call back. I change the voices on them. I edit them together. You could call that number anytime you want. All of those. anonymous confessions, even if they're not aired on an episode or aired on my Patreon. And my Patreon is a really fun community. I have over 2,000 people on there. If you join for only $5 a month, you get all of my episodes early in ad free. I do questions and answers and polls and stuff over there as well. I post all the anonymous confessions there. And I also post all the anonymous sexy picks of all of my guests all over there. And you also get, access to my private discord where people are allowed to post whatever they want. I don't get involved in the X-rated stuff, but people want to post stuff like that and they get to over on my Discord. So to get access for my Discord and get all the other stuff that I talked about, you got to join my Patreon.com slash strictly anonymous podcast. It's literally just $5 a month and I feel like you get a lot for that.

So all of the links and the emails and the numbers and the websites and all that shit I just talked about are in the description. So you don't have to worry about writing it down. Okay, so today I have on Elijah. Elijah is a trans guy, a trans man. I say he's demisexual. We talk about this because he claims he's asexual. He's got a very interesting story full of a lot of sexual escapades. I thought we were going to be talking a lot about transitioning and the emotional feelings that go with that, but it was nothing like that. Elijah called it and he went straight to all the SECX he has had since he was younger. He started out when he was young, knowing that he was most likely a trans man who was born female. He did have some sexual abuse when he was young in his house. That's a really

messed up story when you hear what happened to him. He wound up marrying a female when he was 20. They had a crazy relationship, okay, like 20-year-olds do. I was like, oh my God, like he caught her cheating on her on cameras and show her like fucking a guy and then they decided to open up the relationship and they started having threesomes. They had threesomes with women. They had tracemes with a guy. Then they had threesomes with a trans woman, which they really enjoyed. I was like, oh my God, it's kind of crazy stuff. Eventually, they got divorced. After they got divorces when he fully transitioned, got top surgery, was able to pass as a man and started going on Grindr and started to try to have sex with guys to see if he was into that. We talk about

those couple experiences. And then he realized he was really into cis women, but he's not into sex. And he does claim to be asexual. I don't think he is because this whole episode was about sex. It's super interesting. You're going to love his story. I have pictures of him over on my Patreon that are super interesting. So if you want to see those, go join up over there. The link is in the description. I'm going to be right back on with Elijah and his crazy story. Hi, Elijah. Welcome to the strictly anonymous podcast. How are you Hey, I'm doing great. How are you? I'm good. You got an interesting story, Elijah. Okay. I like stories like this. A lot of fucking layers here. Okay. Because this is, I'm going to tell the short story that I have a million questions for you. You are, you're 27 now, right? You're still young. You're 27. You were born female. When you were 20 years old, you got

married to a female. You were still a female then. You got married to a female. You're a trans man now. That's why we're calling you Elijah. We'll get there, though. But, you know, when you were 20, you married a female. While you were with that female, you did transition into being a man, but you didn't have any surgery or anything at that time. You didn't want it. She was like really into sex at some point. You said something like that. And you just like, you guys did decide to like fuck a lot of people and do stuff. But eventually you got like tired of that. She cheated on you. There was something about you pretending you had a foot fetish. We'll get into all that. And that ended. And then you did wind up having surgery. Now you are, you're trans.

but you're asexual. Like you did have some sort of abuse when you were younger. We'll talk about that. And you were not into sex at all. Like for the past three years, you haven't been with anybody, correct? I have been with some people. I got, yeah, I got some juice for you.

But that all sounds about right. Oh, okay. Okay. So let's go back. All right. So Elijah, you were born female, right? Like, how early on did you feel like, you know what?

This isn't right. Like, I'm supposed to be a guy. Like, when do you, do you have a memory of that first feeling? And when was it? Yeah, yeah, I definitely, as like a little kid, I definitely had had some feelings here and there. And like my siblings would always mention things. Like they would say I'm gay, but I was like, I don't even know if I'm gay or not, but I think the vibe was like kind of like just like a boyish vibe, I guess. That was kind of the vibe with that.

But it wasn't until I was 19 where I really actually knew. But yeah, I did want to give a little bit context about the whole because I think that being a trans man and being asexual, there has to be. like some deep, deep layers in there. So I did want to mention that I was adopted at three years old. And it was into a family that had, they already had two sons of their own. And I was adopted with four of my biological siblings, two boys and two girls. And throughout my entire childhood, literally 10, 15 years, I was actually sexually abused by all my brothers. So except for one of them. So three brothers, their two sons, I was adopted to, and one of my biological brothers. So it was nearly every single night, which is kind of crazy. But yes, somehow I'm okay. And so I do think that

that definitely has played a part into my asexuality now. Yeah, let's chill like that is going to fuck with you. Listen, the person that's asexual is no different than the person that's very promiscuous. Like they say it's like the different side of the same coin. A lot of times you either act out or act in. Like you either go and fuck more people and tons of people because that happened to you when you're trying to get control of it or you fuck no one because it was because of what happened. But it's the same kind of a thing, right? That's the way you went.

That's pretty horrifying that you had all those years. How old were you when it started and when did it end when you left the house? What was the age? So it went on from, and I know a lot of people don't have like memories this early, but I know for a fact it happened as early as like three, five somewhere around there. Up until I like started like my monthly cycle. So 13, 15. Oh my God.

something like that. So yeah, it was like literally like when I tell you, yeah, it was kind of like, the vibe was like every night. They would just kind of creep in. They would take turn. It was just really weird. Luckily though, there was no like obviously this is not a great situation, but luckily there was no penetration. It was like, it's like touching and whatnot. But it was just really creepy and it made me like hate them. Horrifying. Of course. No, that's horrifying. That's totally. It doesn't matter if you were penetrated. It's just as bad. You know what I mean? What the fuck was wrong with those foster parents or those parents? What were they doing? Did they ever know what was going on? Did you ever say anything? That's the thing I, they never said anything and

there was never discussion and it was just kind of like just quiet. And the thing too was the guy who adopted us, he was a pastor, mom was a missionary. We're all like in Christians. Yeah. Oh my gosh. So that was the vibe. And like you said, it seems like if something like this happened, you kind of squeamed either way, really hypersexual or me. For me, I was like, I'd never thought about sex as a kid. I didn't, it was just like out of my mind. But. when I turned like 17, my brother actually brought over his girlfriend. And they're all 17 as well. And so basically, me and her actually had sex.

We're like super drunk. And that was when I lost my virginity at 17 with her. And she actually immediately became my girlfriend. So really kind of weird. Wait, was that one of the brothers that was doing stuff to you and then you stole his girlfriend? It was the one that wasn't. Oh, my God.

Yeah. So I stole his girlfriend. Yeah. she was really hyper, hypersexual, like crazy sexual. She taught me how to eat pussy. So we basically ate each other out. That was all we basically did. Other than that, we did, like, fearing each other.

But, like, every day we'd just eat each other out. And so I really learn so much from her. But because she was super hypersexual, she did end up actually cheating on me with my sister, which is like, how many of us does she need? Where the fuck do you live with this shit? This is how complex. What was going on in this house? Not even on your block.

It was just in your house. house. That's what I'm saying. I was like, oh my gosh, I don't know. It was really weird that she hopped from my brother to me to my sister. But she, I don't know. I was really happy that she came to my life because she did open me up to sex. She was very, she was very open about sex. She taught me so many things. But after her, like after she moved on to my sister, I was like, okay, I'm done. I was single for two years. And that is when I actually met my before we got married my girlfriend at the time. And we met off online and stuff. And our relationship was very odd. It was very much we're really good like partners. We're really good at making moves together goals and whatnot. But like on the

sexual side, it wasn't there like the entire relationship. We were together for five years, married for four. And we were just never sexual. I would always talk a big game like when we were first talking. I was like, yeah, I'm going to fuck you with a seven inch dick. And she even bought me a really expensive dildo and i was like i'm gonna fuck you with that i would always tell her all the things i'm going to do to her but when it came down to it i was like yeah about that i don't think i it was so weird i don't even know why she say with me and i also lied to her and i said i had literally had a dick like when we first started talking and she was so confused she was like are you a trans guy a trans girl what are you but in the end she ended up finding out i don't actually have a dick and this is

when i realized i was trans and i like was starting to transition my ex-wife girlfriend at the time i told her that i wanted to get on hormones and get surgeries and she was very much like in like kind of halfway of supportive like she was like yeah i'm supportive but i don't want you to change your name i don't want you to get surgery i don't want you go on testosterone and the entire marriage and i was like on hormones the entire time the entire marriage she would always refer to me as like her wife and like at her work and stuff and i was like this is so weird but i still say it by to her we were like I said, a really good, we're a really good team. But how long were you married to her for?

We were married for four years together for five. So when it hit that last year, though, this is when it gets juicy. Yeah. Basically, she ended up being like, hey, do you mind if I just talk to guys online? Because we don't have sex. And when I say we don't have sex, we probably had sex like literally like maybe 10 times the entire time we're together. And sex for you because you guys are at this point, you're a woman with a woman, right? you haven't transitioned or anything.

So like sex to you is like oral sex, right? And you had not even oral sex? It was oral sex. We also did bust out that dildo, but it was just not working. It was never really that good. Yeah, well, it was like, I guess it was sex, but it wasn't really good sex. Yeah, okay. She would never orgasm.

And I was like, is it me? Is it you? She said she just never have her entire life. And I was like, I don't really get that. But so I really, there was that involved. And also the fact that I was like, I don't really know what to do my first girl. often, like I said, was hypersexual and very dominant. So she kind of led the way. But with my wife, she was very submissive. At least it seemed like it. And so I had to take the lead. And I was like,

I don't really know what to do. I don't know. Yeah. Plus, at that point, were you feeling like you weren't that into sex anyway because? Yeah. Yeah. Like I would masturbate every single day. And she actually kind of made me feel bad about it because I just wanted to masturbate just to go to sleep type of deal, but not like in a fun way or whatever. And I just, yeah, I was very much too. She would be like, let's have sex. What's about sex? And I would be like, okay, I'm down.

Like, we, I would like to plan it out. Like this Friday at 3 p.m. Let's have sex. Oh, my God. And she really hated that. Because here you are like horny enough to masturbate with yourself, but not interested in having sex with her. So for her, I could get her confusion.

But eventually you guys like open up your relationship or something. Is that what happens? Yes. So she ended up saying, yeah, can I talk to dudes online? just girls and guys because she was bisexual and i was like okay sure and turns out she in this is like such a curveball because i had no clue turns out that she all along was like this very dominant woman who like to dominate like men and women but most like men i guess and she found this dude online and i guess he like identified as a i don't even know all this stuff but identified as a puppy boy like

a sub puppy boy and she would call him like puppy and stuff like that and so they would text all this crazy stuff and it turns out we had like house cameras in our house it's just like kind of crazy but we had house cameras that like one kind of kind of faced towards our bed and one face towards our couch and i would work night shift and of course she wasn't working so i basically kind of caught her fucking him like i guess he would he would come over like every time i would go to work he didn't live too far away and she would tie him up and like i would hear them like it was it was like she would be slapping him and like literally I was like I was just so confused by the whole thing and so I confronted her about it and I was like yo like what's up with this dude you know

because I saw all the messages and then I heard you know through the camera because all the messages it would be like I'm going to tie you up like my little puppy boy like I'm going to put a collar on you and walk you around and I was like wait I've never heard her say anything like this to me so what is going on here so I felt a little bit insecure after I read that as well but in the end I felt really hurt I was like what the heck you cheated on me because you didn't tell me about this and then she said okay would you be down to open it up because you don't want to fuck me I need to fuck and also this is like a little theory on the side I think the reason why she randomly got super horny is because she was actually on like this birth control called Nouvering

and she took it out and immediately she got really horny she's like thinking it for acne because yeah because the birth control like trashes your hormones and just bottoms you out and your sex drive goes out the window oh so that is true yeah okay thousand percent yeah Oh, my gosh. I always regretted the fact that she took it out, but I guess in the end, it's okay. You didn't want to have sex anyway. It's good news that she didn't take it out five years earlier. You guys would have got divorced a long time ago.

That is so true. That's really funny. So we ended up trying the polyamory thing. But wait a second. Quick question. Okay. I remember where you're at. Because I'm a little confused because you said, like she came to you and said,

hey, listen, could I go like talk to some dudes and stuff? Was it like she was just going to talk to them and not fuck them? I mean, she obviously knows you have cameras in your house, right? She winds up bringing a guy home and fucking him in front of the cameras. Like maybe that was sabotages. How dumb is she? No, she definitely, she's just a very secretive person. She did not think I would think to look on there.

Because first I saw on her phone and then I was like, okay, I'm going to listen to the cameras tonight at work. But no, like it was the texting guy that was only supposed to be text. It was only supposed to be text. And I did not agree to have her come through, have him come through that. So that really was cheating. And listen, I think when you're in your 20s, you don't think that. I could believe that at 20-something, she didn't think that you would look on the camera. Someone older would think that through and would in fuck in front of the camera.

Okay, they'd fuck in the other room. Okay. There's a whole house there. But I could get that she did that and you just happened to see it. Did it turn you on at all or were you like horrified? I think it, I was, I guess slightly maybe turned on the fact that she was so sexual. But no, I think for the most part, I was just jealous. I was like, why doesn't she talk to me like that?

You know what I mean? I'm like, I'm not into being a puppy boy, but I was like, well, if that's what making you horny, maybe, let's be polyamorous. Yeah. She ran with that. She was like, okay, I'm going. And our whole agreement was like, let's just tell each other what's going on. I kept on trying to find people and I found one girl.

She was like pretty cute. I went to her house and she, all she wanted me to do was like, eat her out. And when it got down to business, I was like, I don't think I'm down for this. literally, I was like, I'm not down. So I told my wife, I said, I'm not going to fuck people, you can fuck people as long as you tell me what's going on. I hear this all the time on her show

with the polyamory people. The communication has to be there because I went on a trip for a week and, oh my gosh, she did not tell me a damn thing. And she fucked six dudes. I watched the cameras the entire time. Oh my God. In front of the cameras again.

Wait, when you told her, when you busted her for cheating that time, You said, I saw you at work on the camera. And then she went back on the camera and fuck guys. But at this point, she's allowed to fuck people. So how is she cheating? I don't understand. Because she's supposed to tell me like, hey, I'm.

What did she say when you caught her? Was she like, I was going to tell you when you came home? I don't understand. Okay. No, here's the, here's the juice, though. She didn't tell me anything. And I come home, she has all these roses and flowers. And she's all dressed up all sexy.

I come home for my trip. And she's like, hey, baby. And she didn't say a damn thing. And I said, so did you have sex? I was gone. And she was like, no, I didn't. I was like, I caught you. You literally have sex.

Did all these people, we're supposed to be open. I said you can fuck other people. Oh, my God. Isn't that maddening? Isn't that fucking maddening? Come on. Like, why do you got to lie to me? Yeah, you had a free pass.

That's so maddening. Like, that just drives you fucking mental, right? Like, there you are. And she's just a lying. And when she doesn't have to, it's so complicated. It just makes no sense. And it literally, like I said, it must have been so maddening to you and made you fucking crazy. It was, but I also wanted the relationship to stay together.

I wanted to still stay married. Like I said, we had the same goals and all that kind of stuff. So what I ended up doing when I came home from that trip and I talked to her, I said, you know what? Let's try to have a lot of crazy sex. Let's have three sums. Oh, my God. You guys are. This is what happens in your 20s.

You guys are just crazy. Every move you guys have made so far has just been so dumb. But I love it. It's just like 20, only 20 year olds think these solutions out. Okay. So now you're like, let's just have it. Let's not break up because you're driving me crazy. Let's have crazy sex together.

Okay. Let's have some crazy sex. I love it. So I got some stories for you. This is what's fun about being in your 20s. I forget. Okay. Okay.

And, okay, so for this first one. Yeah. I was like, okay, let's have a threesome with somebody. I'm down for whatever. So we found this girl off online. And I guess she was like house sitting in this house. It was like this beautiful mansion. It was like, okay, this is like the perfect first threesome.

You know what I mean? So we ended up getting some alcohol. We went over there and it's just, and we all ended up getting way, way, way too drunk. Way too drunk because the girl that we actually were going to fuck, it was her first time ever like having sex with women. No, no. She got too loaded because she was nervous. She was way. It ended up being like, like they were throwing up and stuff.

I was like terrified. I was like, we didn't have any sex. It was like, okay, that was a fail. But then we ended up posted, like we made it tender. We both never had tender before because obviously we were together. And so we made it tender and we specifically, we put pictures of ourselves. We said, we just want someone to come over right now. So there's one random night.

We did that. And you're looking for girls this whole time, right? At this point, you're just looking for females? No. At this point, I told her, I said, I've never been with a dude like, I'm trying to take a peek with stuff with dudes. And so we ended up actually this one was specifically for a man. And we ended up having this dude come through.

And it was another kind of a bit of a disappointment. First of all, we ended up talking to him in our living room for three hours long. We're waiting for him to kind of like make a move or something. And he just took forever. And we ended up finally getting to the bedroom. First of all, I don't really know anything about dick sizes at this point. So I don't really know. But my wife at the time, she literally was like, dude, his dick is like way too small.

And I was like, dude, is it really an issue right now? Literally. Because you had never been with a guy, right? I've never, yeah, at this point I've never, I've never seen a dick with my own eyes at this point, never touched one. I've never kissed a man, you know what I'm talking about. Obviously, I never been like fucked by one. But this time, it was supposed to kind of more be so like me watching them have sex. Yeah.

I kind of dipped into the whole like cucking or whatever. Yeah. I like watching poor. Why not watch my wife be fucked by this guy. Uh-huh. Dick wasn't as big as she wanted to be. So they ended up fucking and like this dude just. It was just so bad.

Like he just couldn't come and like he kept on getting soft. And I was like, is this a normal thing that happens with guys? Like it was not. I was just so confused. Yeah. I was so confused. He ended up staying until 6 a.m. and just never came and she never came. And I was just like, this is so awkward.

So he ended up leaving. But finally we found somebody after that point. This was all like within three months. This whole like sexual nifs. We finally ended up finding like this one trans woman. And I was like, okay, this is perfect. We're both attracted to women. I want to see.

what's up with like dick. And she had a huge, when I, I've never seen a dick this big, but when my wife saw it, she was like, that is the biggest thing I've ever seen. There you go.

It was like eight and a half or something like that. It was nine. Yeah. And because she was like a, like a six foot like three trans woman. So of course, I don't know if that's common. If you're tall,

does that mean her dick is big? I don't know. No. No. No. That dick was, no. No,

skinny. No, little short, skinny dudes could sometimes have the biggest dick. It doesn't really ever go, really but tall and skinny was he skinny or big yeah very skinny yeah lanky lanky skinny guys a lot of times have big hogs oh my gosh something was shoot and this time i actually up close watched her being fucked by him or her i'm sorry yeah because he was she was like very much like a

not really no hormones no surgery so it was a little bit hard but yes trans woman she definitely was fucking my wife like real hard and like my wife actually seemed to really enjoy it and I was watching them and actually this is the first one I ever touched a dick and I and it was actually kind of weird because my wife was like kissing her and then she was like kind of guiding my hand over to touch her dick and I was like oh my god this is so this is what a dick feels like it was like I was like a alien creature felt so weird to me you know what I mean and at this point I was like 23 or something you know so I was very much like wow this is so new to me so your brothers though back in those days and I

I might cut this out, but your brothers didn't make you ever touch them or anything like that. It wasn't anything. No. Okay. No, the whole thing was them touching me. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Okay.

That's that, yeah. Yeah. That's totally cool to leave me too. It doesn't matter. Yeah. Go on. And also what I also did for the first time was with women or female born people need a trach at the time. There's always scissuring, but like my ex-wife, my wife, my wife is like bigger than me, taller than me.

She's five, nine. I'm like five, four. So, and so we can never like scissors. That doesn't work out if like the bodies don't work out. And so what I did try with this trans woman is like basically cing, but humping. I guess it's like dry humping, wet humping. I don't know. You said you can't scissor with your wife because she's taller than you.

And this woman is an Amazon woman. How are you scissering with her? Well, because there's a, well, there's a dick involved, though, so that dick can kind of stretch over. You know what I'm talking about? Oh, okay. Wait, right. She's a trans woman. Right.

She's got that dick there. So now you're humping her. Humping. Yeah, it was, and it was the first time I've ever, ever humped a dick before. And I was like, okay, this is actually something I really, I actually like. This makes sense. Yeah, I was like, okay, I don't really have the urge to like be fucked by this dick, but I do actually like being humped and humping a dick. I was like, wow. And my wife at the time was watching and she was getting really jealous. That was like the weird part of this too. I think that she wanted us both to be on her and like her be the same. center of tension, but we didn't have that conversation. I didn't know. And so when me and the trans room, when we're like humping each other, like, she was kind of with her crying a little bit. It was actually kind of, it was kind of sad. But I was like, wow, you would start crying the second I'm actually enjoying like sex. So it was really, it was really weird. And this is actually at the time where I actually started like faking a foot fetish. And why? I know. I really

hate that I did this, but I don't know, I don't know if they're the word for it, but my ex-wife she was a like a person who enjoys someone who has a foot fetish. So is there a word for that? Someone who enjoys being with someone who had the foot fetish? Maybe she has a foot fetish. What does that mean? She wants her feet worshipped? Yeah.

She wants her feet worship. She wants maybe someone to like jerk off on her feet, someone to hump her feet. I think she has a foot fetish. Is that what that is? I think she's got the fucking foot fetish. I don't know. Does she care about doing anything to your feet or she wants stuff only done to her feet? I wonder if that's a foot fetish.

I sound like so stupid right now. I don't know, but it's interesting. Exactly. She's made for a lot of guys out there. That's what I'm saying. There's a foot fetish out there, foot fetishist who would love to be with her. It seems like most, most of them are foot fetishes. So yeah, I ended up like, what we would do a lot at this time was like I would literally

hump her feet while I'm eating out her pussy. And it was like, it was pretty interesting. I don't know. I enjoyed it. I definitely was able to come. and she was able to come from that. Like I said, she wasn't one to come, really. But whenever I would eat her out, she would.

It was probably like nearly every day. And I'd be like, all right, do you want your pussy eating while I hump your feet? And I would suck on her toes. And secretly in the back my mind, I was like, I don't really want to, I don't really want to lick on these toes. I don't really, I didn't mind the humpy, I guess, but I did feel kind of gross being like someone's foot. You know what I mean? Yeah, but you did it because she's your partner and she enjoyed it. We all do that kind of shit for our person.

There's nothing wrong with that. that's true but she kept on saying do you actually like this are you faking a foot fetish and I'm like no I'm not I'm not faking a foot I really do like it yeah that was the right answer you're supposed to pretend that you actually like it because there's nothing worse than to think that someone's just doing it for you you know what I mean no matter what it is so yeah you were smart to just pretend that you've loved it even though you did it yeah yeah that's what you're okay so that's good okay yeah so we did that a lot she came she had orgasms she's finally orgasming. You obviously faked it pretty good enough to make her come. Yeah, exactly. And at this time

where we're doing all that footbutted stuff and the threesomes and whatnot, I kept on thinking back about her little puppy boy. And I was like, can you do that stuff to me? I would love to see if maybe I like that. You kind of at this point, so okay, maybe I'm like a submissive person. So there was this one, it was only happened one time, but basically what she did was we had these handcuffs and she'd handcuffs me to the bed and she put a blindfold on me and I think it was like a mouth I don't know what's called like a blindfold put put a mouth I guess it's like a gag I don't know yeah a ball gag like a ball thing or just yeah yeah yeah but it was like with some random it was like a random like a piece of clothing but yeah basically it was like I guess the ghetto version of that but yeah it was pretty interesting

so she tied me up and all that and she was like calling me all these names she come on switching in between I mean, I don't know the words for all this, but switching in between being like, like, a nice and caring and then kind of like degrading. So she'd go back and forth. And then she would ask me, which one do you like more? And I was like, I don't even know. Like, I don't even know if I like any of this, but I definitely, it was definitely an experience. And I told her like, I like the attention of that. I was like, okay, maybe the whole experience was a lot for me.

It was like, it was very long. And we also recorded it to at this point, we started like recording audio only of the whole thing. and I would always listen back on it. I was like, okay, that's really hot and stuff, but I don't know if I want to experience again, but I did slightly want to because I wanted the attention. And so I'll tell her, like, when are you going to do that to me again?

She'd always be like, I don't know, maybe in some time in the future. And so at that point, I kind of felt like, damn, like you want to do it to this random puppy boy, but not to me. But I felt kind of like insecure about that. In the end, though, there, I was like, you know what, it ain't working out.

I am actually faking the foot fetish. I don't know if I even want to have sex with you or at all. So we did end up getting a divorce. Now, was it other things besides the sex? I mean, I think it was just, I guess it was just kind of like we didn't really have anything in common also. I would say our main thing that we were good with together was just like accomplishing goals like financially, I guess, that kind of deal. Like we were planning on buying a house and whatnot and all that. And there was really just that part to it.

Okay. At this point, were you wanting to fully transition to be a man? Were you already transitioning the whole time? You were on hormones, right? Yeah, I was on hormones, but I didn't pass as a man. So here's the thing, too. She didn't want me to cut my hair. I had really long dreds, like blonde, bleak blonde dreads. I'm like a light skin black eye just for the vibes.

And I had long blonde dread. And she's like, don't cut your hair. So the whole marriage, I did not cut my hair. And I did not get surgery. But like I said, I was on hormones. So I was not past it. It kind of looked like a weird, like in between. Like people would say they, he, she needs to me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the second after we got a divorce, I actually switched up so many things in my life. I immediately cut my hair. I turned vegan, so I lost a lot of weight. And I also got top surgery. So I fully passed as male. And I also grew up my beard. She didn't let me grow up my beard.

So I fully passed as male. I started to fully love myself. And at this point, I was like, let me see what's up of having real sex with a man. I kind of want to be fucked by dude. Do I not like sex or do I, have I just not found? Maybe I have to be with a guy. Yeah, that's kind of interesting because you were a lesbian before, right? You're born female.

Then you're into girls. And now that you're a guy, you want to try being gay. It's kind of interesting. Exactly. I was like, let me see what stuff. Since I finally love my body, maybe I can, maybe I can let a guy like actually fuck me. Yeah. Interesting.

Okay. And because you had never, like, when you were in a, when you were your female before you transition before you went on hormones. Were you ever attracted to guys or even thought about it? Or was this, did it happen like when you got, when you transitioned? I think I never emotionally was attracted to them, but I only, I like pretty much primarily watched like solo male jerking off. That's like the porn I was watching. Oh, interesting. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. So I like, I like, I like just the dick part, not like the person. Yeah. Did sometimes you feel like you were watching it and wishing you were like, like,

like that person? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, for sure. Like, I wish I had, I wish that dick was mine. Yeah, yeah, of course. It was very odd. And also, like, I don't know, with porn, I just never like watching any type of woman in porn because they didn't really sound like they're into it.

But the guys, of course, they're into it. So I like watching a solo guy. And so when we did divorce, I was like, let me see what's not like with being fucked by a dude. So I hopped on Grindr, I've never been on Grindr before this. And I, of course, immediately found someone. And they are searching for trans guys on there. So I was, yeah, they really are. So all I had to do was just pop on, even with no picture.

I just said I'm a trans guy. They were lining up. So I had one guy come through. And it was interesting. I definitely felt a little bit obviously scared if I've never had sex with a man alone. And our whole goal is to be like penetrated. I was really scared because I actually had this thing where I can't really, I didn't want to fuck anybody near my age. At this point, I was like 23 or whatever.

and so I didn't want to fucking went near my age. I wanted to fuck like older, a older guy, not like super old, but I'm like 35. Interesting. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, because there's, I don't know. I don't even know why. I was like, I'm just not intimidated as much by maybe an older guy. So, yeah, I have a 35-year-oldish man come over and he had a whole ass family too, which was like, okay, this is funny.

But like marriage and everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know how it goes. Yeah, I know. I know. I talk to these people all day long. You already know. And so, yeah, when he ended up.

coming through. I was like, I need some alcohol, but I really do want to try being fucked in. Now, can I ask you a quick question? Because you don't have bottom surgery. So you have two holes, right? You got an asshole. You got a pussy. If you're going to fuck this guy, how are you going to fuck them? Are you looking for anal sex at this point? I'm looking, I'm looking for like vaginal sex. Okay. So you wanted vaginal sex with this guy. Yeah, yeah. With the testosterone, it definitely makes you like grow like a little, it's not really a dick, but it makes you grow a little something. I have a little three and a half inch clit, quote, one quote, dick, yeah.

So, yeah, little click. So, yeah, other than that, I was like, okay, I would love to try that humpy again. I was like, I really, my main thing I said, I really wanted hump, and then, like, maybe see, we could slide that guy in there to see if I enjoy having sex in that way. When I masturbated, I never penetrated

myself or anything, too. So it really was like nothing was in there. So, yeah, so anyways, he had an average size dick, I think it was like five minutes, but it was really thick. And it was like, it was pretty painful. I'm not going to lie. It was pretty painful. I was like, this is not really enjoyable.

Maybe it was because I wasn't as comfortable, but I ended up having him come through again, like maybe like, how am I say like three or four months later? And it was a little bit better. I ended up finding like, I think it's like doggy style. Like that ended up being like an easier way for it to get in. And I was like, okay, this is kind of a vibe. But I don't know if I'm into it. And listen, that's every girl's first guy she fuck story. It's never great the first time a dick goes inside you.

You're like, what the fuck is this? Honestly, it's really not. It's very common that a girl feels uncomfortable and it kind of hurts when she loses her virginity. I'm serious. But then the second time, is it fun? When does it get good? No. It takes a while.

You have to be really comfortable. And sometimes even for females, like every new guy, that's the way that it is. But especially when you lose your virginity. There's outside orgasms. There's inside orgasms. Inside orgasms are way harder to have. for women than outside orgasms, right? So if you're not playing with your clit and you don't know to do that,

it could feel like nothing's going on except this thing is inside you. But you're like, you have to really work with a dick for a while before you really learn to love it. It's not like right off the bat. So no, it's not like second time. It's, oh, this feels fucking great. Fuck the shit out of me and you're squirting. No, that's not really how it happened.

This was literally your second time you ever had sex in your whole life. I'm just saying that. I don't know. listen, maybe you're not into guys at all either as well, but, you know, a dick the second time doesn't isn't that great either. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it was definitely not. It wasn't amazing. But it was better. You said it was a little bit, yeah, it wasn't as, it wasn't as bad. I would just kept on thing like, I just really want to like be like a normal person, like to be able to have sex and enjoy. So I kept on trying and trying. So for the past three years since I got that

divorce, I probably had sex with a guy like, like six times. That same guy? No, that same guy had sex with him three times. And another guy, sexed with three times. And just a lot of time in between. I kept on being like, if I only enjoy it. Maybe it's because I'm like, I'm also just not really attract him in in a romantic way. So I'm like, I don't know.

I just come to realize that out of all the sex I've had, I don't know if it's really considered sex, but I just like humping. I really just came to that conclusion. I just want to do to come over and just to hump. Because that clit is so sensitive and you have like clitoral orgasms. Yeah. Listen, you're like, that's a little, that's very common for a lot of women where, but do, when you were like having sex with guys, would you play with your clit?

And it's so huge, right? It would probably be rubbing up on something if you got. Yeah, but. I hear and I see on porn, I mean, she's a vibrator, but I guess I just feel like kind of awkward with the dude I'm not dating. No, you could use your hands. Right, but that's the problem. This is the, this is, you sound like a regular.

girl even though now you're a trans man but that's like a girl's problem like she doesn't want to play with her clit she feels uncomfortable so she doesn't know how to like turn herself on through sex and and so that's like a thing that you have to work through and figure out on your own either figure out the right position to get an inside vaginal orgasm or figure out or just go down and play with your clit while a guy's fucking you and come that way I would think with a very large clit like yours because you're on so much testosterone but guys fucking you on top it's probably rough But being a lot on there. Like, I'm surprised you, your clip doesn't get.

Yeah, maybe not enough still. Yeah, maybe not enough. I don't know. But you really only fucked a guy six times in your life? Yeah, yeah, only six times. And every time, I don't know. I'm sure it's trying to think back was anytime I actually super enjoyable. I'm not too sure.

I did fuck a trans guy one time, though. And it was a couple of years ago. And he also was on testosterone and he had a really big clip. So the whole thing was literally, it was dry humping. So I was like, okay. So this is a vibe with. with track out but the thing with this one though was so the whole thing was like we're actually homies and we're like hey we should try fucking and so we ended up try humping each other wet humping

whatever yeah and he ended up being like can i he said can we pee on each other and i was like ooh i know people are into that and obviously he was but i was like i don't i was and i was trying actually i was like i don't know if i'm into that but i was like i could try but i literally could not take a piss. I was like, I don't know how people can just pee in a bed like that. You know what I mean? Yeah, it goes against every internal instinct to let go of that thing and just like pee on a bed. Like I think maybe it's better to try it in a shower the first time or something, right? You'd be more likely to be able to do it. Yeah, it was a raw ass bet. I was like, you really want me to take it? There was no covered. I was like, this is kind of like, this is gross. Like, you put me to take a

so he actually, I ended up being like on top of him and he ended up like just peeing. And I was like, I you know happy he he had fun but god damn so I don't know I am I guess I'm more curious about trans guys now I don't know but again even with trans guys I don't know if I'm romantically inclined but my thing now is I'm I really am like pretty much primarily only a really attracted to like cis women and a lot of them are very corny and and they want to have sex all the time and and the thing with cis women I'm just like I don't even know what to do with them I don't want to ever eat pussy I also never say suck the dick before and I think I'm going to die before I do because I don't want to.

And I don't think I everyone eat pussy ever get in my life. Why not? And also, I don't, it's just, there's something about this like putting your mouth on, on someone like that. It's just, I don't know. I just, I don't know. After all this time of, it's been like over three years since I've ate push and I'm just, I don't even know why I ever did that.

Like, it's just not. Yeah, I know. And me too. I don't ever want someone to ever to eat me out again. I don't really, I don't know. I'm just weird about it too. I also don't kiss. Like, it's just, so like my asexuality is very strange.

They're just things. It's like the asexual spectrum. Some asexuals just don't do anything at all. But for me, I'm like, I'm just like purely just down to dry hump. So it's been hard dating because I'm really like a romantic and I just want to fall in love. And I'm pretty, I'm pretty attractive. So I've been going on a date every week, once a week at least for the past, I don't know, year or two years. I'm able, but it's all first dates.

Is this women? always? Cis women? Yeah, cis women. I guess there's a few trans guys, some non-binary, but for the most part, like all born female. And why does it never go past the first date? I'm a little bit picky.

I have a lot of things I want. I need them to just be financially together and emotionally together. I feel like a lot of LGBT people are just like emotionally have some mental health problems, which is understandable. But I need someone who's like stable in everywhere. And also the sexual, like the sexuality thing is really a big deal for people. No matter how much they love you, they just want to have sex with you. I've gone on dates with you.

And they're like, oh, you're so cute. And I really like you. And then they start texting me saying, um, basically they just kind of lead on to the fact they want to have sex with me. And I'll kind of lay out. I'm super open and honest with it too. And they ask me, I say, here's what I want to do. You're what I don't want to do.

And the second I say, I don't want to kiss. That's kind of when they run. But when I mentioned, I also don't want to ever eat pussy or, Oh, my God, yeah. I'm never going to find anyone that wants to eat, unless it's another asexual person. But I just wonder, have you had an emotional attachment to anyone in the past three years? Oh, yeah. You have?

There was actually recently someone, a ciswoman, actually, I went on, I think, three dates with her. Okay. And this is the thing, too. There's the asexual part, but then also the trans part. So basically, she, you know, a ciswoman, super into me. I'm super into her. and I love cuddling. That's my main thing.

I love a cuddle. And so we ended up cuddling. And she seems a little weird after the fact. She goes home. She's like, text me kind of dry. And I'm like, hey, can you just tell me what's up? What's wrong? She ended up saying to me, I felt like when we're cuddling, I was cuddling with a woman.

And I was like, oh, my God. Okay. Like, I understand I'm born female. I'm like a small dude and stuff. But that is like super. It's just messed up. I don't want to be with someone who like sees me as a woman. So she literally said, I just can't do it.

I want to be like with a man. And so I've come to realize I need to be with someone who's like bisexual. I don't think I could be with like a like a quote unquote straight obviously because I have a pussy. But I wanted to be with a straight woman. But yeah. So that happened. No, no, no. But my question was more so like you had emotional feelings for her.

Like you were really liked her. You only went out with her three times. I'm just where I'm getting with that is like maybe you haven't felt horny for anyone because, you know, you haven't been emotionally attached. Like three dates I get if you like somebody, but maybe that's not enough to grow horny feelings for somebody. Some people are just wired. I forget what it's called,

but they're wired. Demysexual? Yeah, where they have to have feelings attached to get horny for somebody. A lot of people are that way. So maybe there just hasn't been somebody that you were able to get attached enough with because three dates is not, I don't think. That's not that much.

No. When was the last time you had real feelings? Maybe if you met someone eventually that you have real feelings for and everything aligns, you might not be so asexual. I don't know. But, you know, I don't know. You tell me. Yeah.

And I don't want to be asexual. I really, I'm hoping and praying that one day, like you said, I meet someone I want to have sex with because it's so goddamn hard being asexual. It's limited. Especially because you want to cuddle and you want love in your life. Exactly. And you want a relationship. Unless you mean another asexual, it's going to be very hard to find. somebody that does it. And if you want somebody that is mentally stable, most likely those people

are going to have like a stable libido too to go with it. You don't know what I mean? You might find a lot of issues attached to somebody that doesn't assist women that never wants to have sex. What's wrong there? You know what I mean? Probably some baggage too. And there's nothing wrong with that. It's like you could work through stuff together. I'm not saying there's anything wrong. But if this is like your standards, you got to figure yourself out first because most people are not going to sign up for something if that sexual intimacy isn't there because that's a big part of a relationship. It's not just about sex. Yeah, cuddling is a part of it, but also making love.

That is a way that you feel really close with somebody. And if you're dating young girls that are in their 20s and they're going to be horny when they start to like you out. Yeah, they're trying to fuck. And I've been trying to, because I'm like constantly thinking about love. Like I said, I'm always going on a date. And so I am like right now, I'm like, okay, maybe I should just look for a cuddle body or something just to like hold that placeholder. Yeah, they have cuddle parties. Yeah.

The only thing wrong with it, though, is just about every time I get somebody in the bed with me to cuddle, they always are trying to actually secretly fuck me. And I'm just like. Of course, because cuddling when you, like, if you're super horny and you got like normal feelings, like you start to cuddle with somebody and the body's attached. And if you're kind of digging them, of course you're going to get horny and start to get a little wet. You're with cis women. Then they're, like, rubbing up and they got this trans guy, and that's obviously what they're into. And they're like, oh, my God, I got to get them to go down on me. And then you're, like, not into it.

Do you dry hump? You do dry hump, right? Like, you'll dry hump. I do dry hump, but I would only do that if I, yeah, like, really know them a little bit more. What about scissoring? Isn't that dry humping, like, without this pants on? Would you do that? I guess I, yeah, like, dry humping.

So, yeah, I'm down for, like, cuddling, or, yeah, dry humping or, I guess, shizering. I'm down for it. But that's if I'm like not in a relationship, but pretty much in a relationship. I just feel like I'm just so shy. I'm just, I'm just very much like a, like a submission person all around. And that's why I think I should be with like a hypersexual person now. Maybe like a demisexual, hypersexual person. That'll push you and force you to pull around and stuff.

But will you run? That's the problem. Like you're like here you are complaining about every date you go on if they want to fuck you. Are you going to run away from that, girl? Well, I need them to just be a little patient. I think that's what it is. get their down to wait a little bit longer. And then when they finally get it, when we get comfortable,

maybe that's when they can make me, like, do some crazy stuff. I'm like, oh, okay, maybe I fuck with that. And, yeah, I would love, that's honestly when I'm really betting on, because I just don't want to die asexual. Like, I feel like I'll be single forever. No matter how attractive you are, it's going to be hard. Yeah, let me ask you this, because, like, when you're with somebody, we know that you don't want to do anything.

But, like, when you're home, are you still, like, jerk it off to guys jerking off? Are you still getting horny at certain times in the month? Are you, like, getting wet for just thoughts of sex? Like, how do you feel like your libido is? Because maybe it's a hormone issue. I don't know. Oh, I know. It could be a hormone issue.

But I would say right now, like, my vibes on my libido is pretty much like I seriously only masturbate before sleep, like, before I go to bed to fall asleep. Like, I'm never like midday. Then I'm really horny or I watch something on TV. I'm like, but I do still watch porn. Yeah, I watch guys jerking off and anti-horn. And when you watch that, you get horny? I do get, yeah, I do get horny.

So I already know exactly what I need to watch in order to get horny. But it is just a different ballgame with someone else. I think it might be a shy thing. You know what I mean? Yeah, of course. Yeah, yeah. And I think that you're just not, listen, when sometimes we're doing something and acting a certain way and it's like a subconscious kind of a thing.

You're not really attaching to anyone. You're going on a lot of dates. Like you keep saying you're looking for love and stuff. But, you know, you said I'm picky. and then you're like, I don't want to do any of these things, and I don't want to fool around. So I just don't know that you're very available just right yet, like you haven't figured out what you really want. So you're going on a lot of dates, first dates, but nothing's ever going farther than three dates. So it's maybe you're just not really ready.

I wouldn't I wouldn't label yourself as asexual. You might not be into it right now, but I do believe that if you did, didn't meet that right person that you, like you said, there's somebody for everybody, right? That right girl that's maybe super horny that's going to be more aggressive with you because that's not your style. Like you're more passive. You need someone more aggressive, right? You need a cis girl that's more aggressive and is going to push you and get you back clicked

into having sex and forcing you to do it. And then you'll probably get back into it because you've been not into it for a while. Three years is a long time to not have done anything. Yeah. And I've been going to like sex clubs here. And because they're like here in Portland, they're like the sex like club party, whatever it's called downtown. And I've gone there.

And I actually, I really want to get myself into sex. So I watch people have sex there. And I'm like, oh, okay. How is that feeling for you? I think I feel a little bit slightly uncomfortable. I'm like, okay, this is weird just watching like a bunch of about sex. But it's interesting and cool and fun. And people, they get at me out there.

And I'm like, okay, but maybe I'm out of point, like my cucking era or something. Like, I just need to watch people because I don't know, you know. I think it's just like live porn in a way. And I do get a little bit horny, but I'm just like, I don't know if I'm down to join in or anything. But I do love how they have those sex clubs, those sex parties. And also your podcast, really, I think it just really opens me up and teaches me like what people are up to. Yeah. I don't know that an asexual person would be interested in going to a sex party.

I think you're like super curious. I don't know that I would label you asexual. I think you're very curious and open-minded. I think, you know, you got a lot on your plate. You just transitioned. How many, like how many times a year are you doing blood work and testing those hormones of you? Because as an older woman, I'm on hormones, right?

So I get my hormones checked every three months to keep everything like leveled out to be the right way it should be. But that's what you should do. How, because you're on hormones, how many times. year do you check those levels for yourself? I really, I like don't have health insurance. Oh, yeah, that's tough. Almost never.

Yeah. Yeah. I need to go. I can I hear that all the time. I hear that all the time. It's very important. Yeah, and it could be, it is really important. It could there could be hormonal too on top of it.

Maybe I don't know. Maybe you need a little bit more testosterone. Who knows? Because you are changing things inside of yourself with those hormones. So you do want to get that checked. I wouldn't say you're asexual. And like I said, I wouldn't put that in your head because when you label that and you put yourself you kind of put yourself in that box you might be demisexual yeah demosexual yeah that's why i would

say like asexual spectrum but yeah definitely definitely probably demisexual club i'm just so i'm so damn shy when it comes to it but you know yeah but i mean the whole thing of like i want a cis girl but i never want to eat pussy like how are you going to get a cis girl i wouldn't date somebody if they wouldn't go down on me would you really oh my no i would never no sorry oh wow that's probably calm comment too. Yeah, no girl, that's like the best thing. Like, no girl's going to give that shit. What are you going to do with the girl if you're not going to go down on her? I know. I'm thinking maybe I can find somebody who also just wants to hump each other. Like, that's it. Well, listen, there might be, listen, there's women out there that have had things happen to them so they're not very into penetrative sex.

For sure. There are women out there. But I would think that those women want you to go down on them. Are you going to find a woman that's okay to just dry hump? I don't know. And you know that you definitely don't want to date a guy, right? Is that true? Yeah, yeah, definitely. You're not into dick, right, at all? Yeah, yeah, no, I don't think I'll ever, I don't think I'll ever dabble. Honestly, if anything, I would just probably hump one, but I don't think I would ever get a relationship. Like I said, I don't think I'm ever going to suck dick. What do you think about sucking dick, though? Do you think I should ever try it or should I just never do it? Well, the fact that you're asking me means there's a part of you that thinks maybe you should try. Why not try? I don't know.

I guess I don't live once. I don't, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's. true. I guess I'm like, I don't get why people do it. That's all. Listen, why did you suck on your girlfriend's toes that you thought were gross. You did it because she was like you wanted to turn her on. That's why a girl suck dick. Like it's a turn on to turn somebody else on. That's what it's about. It's about that power you have over somebody when you're fooling around with them. Like, I just think you haven't been with somebody in a relationship for a long time. When you were with that girl, you were committed to her. You were like very open and down to do a lot of things that you don't give yourself credit for. You were like got into a lot of. You were like got into a lot of. of crazy sexual things. I thought we were really just going to talk about being a trans man. More we just talked about your sexual experience and your escapades. So you did a lot of stuff with her and you really tried a lot of stuff because you wanted to please her and it turned her on. That's what people do in relationships. So maybe if you found the right person, you'd be that person again who was open enough to try things and do things with your partner. I just think that you haven't attached to anyone in a long time. I think like after something ends, sometimes it's

hard to get back on the horse. Some people need some time. Maybe you're just not ready for a real relationship yet, but when you are, you know, you'll get back into it. I just don't, I wouldn't count yourself out. Maybe you wind up sucking a dick. You don't have, listen, Oprah once said, I don't know if you know who Oprah is, but she was like a, she once said, not knowing what your answer is, is the answer. Like, you don't know right now if you'll ever suck a dip, but maybe you will one day. If you don't know, then that's not a no. Maybe one day you'll wind up sucking a dick. don't need to make that decision is what I'm saying. That's true. Yeah, you don't need to make that decision. I think you are where you're at right now, but don't be bound by where you're at now

and assume that just because of where you're out now, that's where you're going to be two years from now. You're going to change a million times in your 20s anyway before you're like older. And I think two years from now maybe you'll be really ready for a relationship and you'll get horning for the person because you wind up with them and who knows who that's going to be. Be open to see what's down the line. But if you're wherever you're at right now, just embrace it. Be okay with being asexual right now. But know that that could change. I think it'll change. Yeah, I could be hypersexual next year. Yes, you're like going to sex parties. I think you're daveling. I think you're super curious and open minded. I think you like to please a partner. It's very

obvious. I think you haven't met the right person and the right woman. I would get your hormones checked, even if it's once a year. They have telehealth places now. It is kind of expensive, though. You're only in your 20s. Like to me, I'm like, oh, it's only $250 to get it. But then you have to pay $500 for this. You know, it is a lot of money.

It sucks. It really sucks. But even if you could try to do it once a year, get your hormones checks, like, who gives you the hormones and doesn't make you check them? Who prescribes them for you? Yeah. Well, I get it. I actually found a random, like, I'm like a YouTube or whatever.

I found a random dude. who watched my YouTube channels, and he's a cis man who has low testosterone, and I actually buy it off him. Oh, my God. I used to get from the doctors, but this is, yeah, off market. I get it like for literally 10% of the price. And so how did you know what to take? Did you just like Google and find out?

Oh, no. I was going to the doctor before. You were. Okay, right. $2,000 a year. Now it costs $100 a year. So. Yeah, yeah.

So you were with like a telemedicine place or a place that was like. Oh, you pay the... But I'm going to do it like you said. I'm going to go and get... I'm going to go and get my blood work done. Yeah, just do a check-in for your hormones and keep dating. But maybe... Listen, maybe you're quote-unquote picky right now because you're not really available.

Sometimes we think that we really want something, but maybe we're not ready. Maybe you're still dealing with stuff that happened to when you were younger or stuff that happened to in your last relationship. I don't know. Maybe you're not really ready to completely open yourself up to somebody right now. Who knows? Sometimes we think that we are. but, you know, if you're going on a million dates and they never go past one date or three dates, maybe you're not really that ready.

Come on. Be honest with yourself. Yeah. And that's okay. You know what I mean? Like I said, that's okay. When you, maybe when you're really ready, you'll see that person and that next relationship will be there. And I think at that point, I think you're going to wind up being sexual with that person in whatever

way you can be. I think you will. Because you sound like a sexual person. Like I said, I thought I was going to be talking more about transitioning and what it feels like to be born female. And you didn't want to talk about anything. This was all about sex. So for the asexual, all you want to do is like, I don't think you are asexual.

I think you're shy maybe and maybe you're demisexual. And maybe your hormones are slightly messed up and you maybe need a little bit more testosterone and you grow your clit even bigger. And then you're really going to have some orgasms. I don't know. Oh, that would be nice. Yeah. I think you're going to be fine.

But listen, what do we call you Elijah? Elijah. That's your real name. You want to be out and proud, right? Yes. I love that. I love that. Thanks so much for calling in and telling your story.

Listen, I like all kinds of stories. I didn't know, like I said, that this was going to be, have so many sex stories in it. So my audience is going to love it. I wouldn't mind just talking about transitioning. I thought that was what it's going to be about. But it's more about all your little sexual escapades. Those were hilarious. And interesting.

So thanks so much for calling in. And if you want to send me picks for my Patreon, that would be awesome. like you did say. Like if you want to, I think that would be interesting if you have picks like with your long dreads and then you cut your hair. Like could you do that or would you be open to that?

Oh yeah. I think that would be like super cool. So I'll put those on my Patreon and then you could get free access to my Discord and I'll send you that link when it goes up. And Michael, your episode might be this like Friday or next Friday. So get me your stuff as sooner than later. Okay. Because this is like an interesting episode that's going to air soon.

Okay. Yes. Thank you so much. No, thank you. I'm so glad that. you called in, it was super interesting. I'm going to be curious of where you're going to be two years from now. Okay, keep me posted. All right, have a good day. You too. Bye, Elijah. Bye. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly anonymous

Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available not only in paperback and ebook, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out until August 25th, but you can can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang being girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person. And they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person and I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are

true stories. 17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format. And finally, the audiobook is available. coming out August 25th, but you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint, okay? There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me. Okay, I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other. And that's what you get to do there. You could post your own pictures

and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total strictly anonymous community and you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord. It's private, like I said. All you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook or the paperback. Send it to me at Strictly Anonymous Podcast at gmail.com.

That's strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. And I will send you the link. to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in. This is the Strictly Anonymous podcast. Hey, everyone. Thanks so much for tuning in to this week's episode. If you want to follow the show, follow me at Strict Anonymous on Instagram or Twitter. That's at Strict Anonymous. If you want to sign up for my Patreon on my Patreon, you are not only supporting my show, but you will get these episodes early, ad free, and you get to see Anonymous.

picks of my guests. Most of the girls send in anonymous picks and some of the guys send an anonymous picks. So if you want to see anonymous picks of my guests, as well as support my show and get these episodes early and ad free, sign up for my Patreon. Patreon.com slash strictly anonymous podcast. That's patreon.com slash strictly anonymous podcast. The link is also in the description below. Thanks so much for listening.