Strictly Anonymous Confessions - 803 - John had a Threesome with his Wife and his Best Friend’s Wife and it Went Very Wrong

Episode Date: April 9, 2024

This one is super entertaining. John had a threesome with his wife and his best friend’s wife and it went very wrong and he called in to talk all about it. Tune in to hear all the details including how and when he got married, how he had cheated on his wife in the past and where and when he would do it and who he would do it with, how him and his wife met his best friend and his wife and how they all became super close, how the foursome would sometimes get naked together and the kind of stuff that would and would not go down, how him and his wife wound up having a threesome with his best friends wife behind his best friends back, exactly what went down during their threesome and how and why his wife was super upset afterwards, how and why opening up their relationship at that time and in that way messed things u for them, what they did wrong during that threesome and what they could have done right to have avoided the issues their dealing with now, how he feels about his best friends wife now and why it’s a big problem, the rules his wife wants to put on him in regards to his friendship with her, why he doesn’t want to abide by her rules and why he probably should plus a whole lot more.  **To see anonymous pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! MY BOOK IS NOW OUT FOR PRE-ORDER!!!! Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To Join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at [e-mail] or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show" Have something quick you want to confesss while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. You can call 24/7. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://bluechew.com Get your first month FREE! https://butterwellness.com/ Try the Butter Wellness perineum massager and use code STRICTLY for 20% off your entire order Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ Twitter https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Here is your host, Kathy. Hey, welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast with Kathy. If you want to follow the Strictly Anonymous podcast on Instagram or Twitter, follow the show at Strict Anonymous. If you want to be on the show, it's called Strictly Anonymous because I change everybody's voices. I change everybody's names. If you have a naughty, interesting story that you want to talk about while remaining

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And you also get access to my private Discord where people are allowed to post whatever they want. I don't get involved in the X-rated stuff, but people want to post stuff like that and they get to over on my Discord. So to get access for my Discord and get all the other stuff that I talked about, you got to join my Patreon. It's Patreon. patreon.com slash strictly anonymous podcast. It's literally just $5 a month and I feel like you get a lot for that. So all of the links and the emails and the numbers and the websites and all that shit I just talked about are in the description. So you don't have to worry about writing it down. Okay. So today I have on John. I fucking love this episode. I was so happy when he called in. It sounds like a short story like,

oh, a guy and his wife had a threesome with his best friend's wife. And it went wrong. It went very wrong. And I think, like I said to him on the show, that I love a gone wrong story because it really shows people like what not to do. A lot of my stories are couples that open up the relationship and things are really great and they do all the right things. And those are great episodes to listen to because you learn what you should do. In this episode, you're going to learn what you shouldn't fucking do. And you might learn even more than that because things went really wrong after their threesome. We talk all about the backstory with the friends and then exactly what went down with a threesome and then how it went very wrong. And then we do talk about his issues with his wife. And I think I give him a lot of

good advice. I wonder what people are going to think about the advice that I give him. And if they're going to think differently, I think this is one of those episodes where maybe some people will disagree with me, which I always love because I love a good debate. I love talking about my episodes after the fact and the psychology behind them. You could leave comments on Spotify now, but also we do all this kind of comment who have all those kind of conversations with my patron join my patron if you want to talk about this episode because this episode i think is super interesting you're going to enjoy it this is a very this is a three-sum gone very wrong very messy very messed up and you're going to enjoy it because it's fucking real life and it's and it's good and uh john's cool and he's super honest so i'm going to be

right back on with john hi john welcome to the strictly anonymous podcast how are you today I'm doing well Kathy how about yourself I'm good so you have a little bit of a salacious story like if you left it on my confessions hotline I would be like oh I needed to ask a couple questions for this story you are a guy you sound young to me you're married you have a friend who's married and at some point

you fucked your best friend's wife now I don't know if this was a threesome or foursome you're going to give me all of the details but eventually like it caused problems afterwards with your wife. You kind of copped some feelings for her. It turned into like this whole inappropriate thing.

I don't know how much the backlash, like how much backlash there was and what that was all about. These are the questions I have, right? But that's kind of the short story. Correct. Correct. Okay. So listen.

How old are you first of all? Because you sound young. Early 30s. Okay. How long you've been married for, John? Ten years. Ten years you got married in your early 20s? Yes, very young.

Okay, cool. Is it because you had kids or because you wanted to get married? Kind of wanted to get married, just making choices based off of my career decision and not wanting to be away from my family. We did have a kid already so that obviously played into it some. But we were also both. We have been together a long time and we were just eager to go ahead and get married. Yeah, that's cool. Listen, because I'm someone that would never got married.

I'm always like, oh, my God. Not only did you get married, you got married at your 20s. I have a thing called marriage math, which is take the age you. think you're going to die at and minus it from the age that you got married at and whatever number you come to equals the amount of time you're going to spend with one person. Right. So when you do marriage math in your 20s, holy shit, it's like 60, 80 years. I don't know how you can.

Yeah, I think they should teach marriage math in school. Oh, my God. My son's always, he's only 80s, so he's mom. They don't teach me anything in school that I need in life. They don't teach me how to do taxes. They don't teach me how to deal with. And he should add they don't teach me marriage math. They really don't.

Yeah, they don't really fucking set you up for life. But anyway, you're in a, I'm assuming you're in a happy marriage. You got young. You got married young. And listen, I don't think just because people get married young, they don't last forever. Everyone's different. Everyone has a different life path. So you marry this girl.

You have a best friend, though, right? He's married too, correct? Yes. And really the bulk of it is that we, he and I became best friends because our wife. wives were best friends. Oh, okay. So it was kind of, we were kind of always a foursome since we met. And they met first. We moved to a new city. This is about eight years now that we moved to this new city and just being out on the town, the two wives met and they became fast friends. And just in talking, they realized that both of their husbands, we worked for the same company. But we didn't know

each other. Oh, interesting. What a weird coincidence? What are your coincidence, right? Absolutely. And that's kind of what they said. And he was gone at the time. So I didn't meet him probably for six months after they started hanging out. But they were super close. His wife was always at my house. My wife and kids were always at his house. And we kind of had similar family structure. So they had kids the same age as ours. And we were just always. always very tight since we met. Yeah, all the stars aligned, like perfect friendships. Like, that's awesome.

So now when this woman's at your house, you don't know the guy yet. You have six months where you don't even know the husband, though. Did you think, oh, she's kind of hot or did it never even cross your mind? Because I know you wind up sleeping with her. Yeah, I definitely, definitely thought she was hot from the, from the moment, the first moment I met her. But never, there was never anything out of line or that I thought was in a point. between us. She was just hot.

Yeah, yeah, I get it. And in the 10 years that you've been married to your wife before this time where you have this threesome, did you ever cheat on her or anything or were you always monogamous? Well, there have been a few occasions of cheating, but, you know, I'm not I'm not condoning or bragging about it, but my wife doesn't know about them even to this day. So there's never been an incident that's come up in the marriage. but I travel for work a lot and honestly a lot of times I would either meet with other women who I would be meeting at doing these things that I did for work or through escorts that I would hook up with in other cities. Well, this is kind of interesting. Let's talk about this a little bit, John.

So whenever you would travel for work, you would go and look around in the area. If you hadn't met somebody at your work gathering, you would wind up finding an effort. escort or something, but always when you're out of town. Yeah, really only when I was out of town. And it wasn't every time because I traveled for work a lot. Like I was always on the road, always gone. So it wasn't every time, but it did happen multiple times, at least four or five times throughout the 10 years.

Throughout my 20s, yeah. Yeah. Okay. And she never found out. You never got caught. Would you feel guilty about it, like at all? I would feel some. No, not really, honestly. No, I never really felt guilty about it because I never, I guess I justified it to myself, but I never formed like any type of relationship. I never kind of felt proud that I never had anything coming up to where my wife would be involved in it.

There was no one calling her phone and saying, look, we did this. There was no pictures. There was nothing happening at work where people were finding out and rumors and things like that. So because I had kind of kept it so much on the low, and I knew it was just sex. So I didn't really, I honestly didn't really feel that bad about it. I always used protection. There was, I tried to try to take precautions. I get it. So you didn't feel like one had anything to do with the other. Like you really love your wife.

It wasn't about something going on at home or anything like that. It never turned into an affair. There was never any kind of drama. It really was just sex. You're on the road. You're not there. and you did it all on the up and up. Listen, I asked because I think it's interesting to get in the mind of somebody that does do something like that.

It's helpful for other people, right? I had an episode I aired recently with a girl named Camille. And she caught her husband cheating and then he like gave her a free pass to go and date somebody else. And once she started dating the other guy, it gave her like a whole different perspective of her husband's cheating. She felt like when she found out her husband cheating, like, oh my God, there's no way he would be doing that with somebody else if he loved me. Like he could not have sex with somebody else and be in love with me at the same time. That's what people think. But when she started fucking this guy, even though it was a free pass, she realized like, wow, like, I'm having sex with this guy, but I still love my husband.

So it really made her kind of understand it in this backwards way that I was like, wow, that's kind of interesting. You don't think about it that way. Yeah. And I think a lot of times when people are caught cheating, they will, use whatever their situation is, whatever flaws their partner has to try to justify their cheating or what they're getting from someone else. I think it happens a lot. So it kind of puts an umbrella over all cheating that it's all the same. And it's, I don't think it is. No, that's why I have so many cheating episodes on it. It's not because I think cheaters are great or it's totally fine and

that I don't care about cheating. It's because I want to show that not every cheater is the same. Sometimes when you hear a whole story, even one, like what you just said where someone's blaming somebody else, sometimes it is because there's problems in the relationship. Most of the time, that's the reason. Okay. But when you listen to it, maybe you won't, you'll be less judgmental. Not to say ever, like I said, that cheating is right, but maybe you'll understand it. And then I think it's always like a warning to other people, you know. Some people cheat the way you were. It's strictly variety has nothing to do with anything, you know. Some people cheat because there are problems at home because their partner, whether it's a man or woman, hasn't fucked them in five years or

fucks them three times a year. And what happens? They don't want to leave because of the kids. So what do you do in that situation? It's a tough thing, but it's always an interesting story. And I like to show those stories because I think people could learn from them. So you've cheated in the past and all this stuff, but your threesome was not cheating. No. Okay. So now you said that you didn't know this guy for about six months, but you eventually meet him and you guys become besties, right? Yeah, very tight. We did everything together. All right, like I said, because, and the bigger thing is that he and I were tight,

the two wives were tight, but we were all tight together. So another thing I was going to tell you is that we would often be in all type of situations together where we're hanging out, we're playing games, we're getting drunk. We've all been nude in the same room. We've all had sex in the same room together. Okay, that's interesting. Never, yeah, never swapping or anything like that, but just through hanging out alone at a house and we're young and we're having drinks, things will happen. As a former drinker, no, listen, as a former drinker, I know those things go on.

I think that there's some people that listen to stories like that and they're like, no way, that doesn't happen. It's, yeah, well, it didn't happen to you, but it happens in the world of drinking. Right. You know what I mean? Like, I've been in situations where everyone's like winds up having sex and it's just because you're all. drunk and you're at this place that it just happens. Yeah, we're having a good time. I remember a time where the girls set up a night.

They sent the kids to the friend's house, to our friend's house with the babysitter. And we were all at my house. The girls had like a painting sip set up where they were, we did, the guys did them first. We painted them nude and then they painted us new. It was just a fun, a fun event. So that type of stuff was very normal in our, in our foresome. Well, that's a little flirty, though, I think. Paint and sip nude, nude version.

You're like, who came up? Who came up with that? Well, I guess the girls came up with it together. Interesting. But like I said, it was very common for us to be very open with one another about our sex lives. We had, like I said, we had all had sex in the same room before. We had all seen one another nude. And in a weird way, none of it ever really.

seemed inappropriate or that it was going in in the direction of swapping or having a threesome or having a foursome or anything like that it was just kind of the way we were okay so you so but okay so that was going down now how does it come to be though that you have a threesome do you and him start talking about things or do you all get together and discuss it no so and actually he doesn't know to this day but so so what happened is is they moved away, but they still have a business here in this town. So occasionally, usually about once a year, they would come back and check up on their business and we'd still all get together and hang out and do things like that.

And they usually come together. Well, this most recent time, she came alone. He had some things going on at work and he decided to just stay there with kids. And she came to handle all that type of stuff by herself. and we got together just as we always do and we went out for we went out for drinks just my wife and his wife and me excuse me so throughout that night we were just hanging out we didn't even really get that drunk like we weren't blackout drunk to where we're not accountable for our decisions or anything like that like we were well that's honest of you you're not blaming it on the

alcohol no i wouldn't do that but you know So just in reality, like we weren't, I know we've been, we've been to that point before we're like sloppy drunk and just black out like it wasn't that type of night when we were in a restaurant and we're drinking. Throughout the night, the two girls who were sitting on the other side of the table from me, my wife and his wife, were they were getting kind of touchy-feely with one another. and it was playful at first, but towards the end of our time at the restaurant, they were damn near, like, fondling each other under the table. Interesting. Right. And obviously, I'm turned on by it.

I will be a lie to say I wasn't. But at that point, I still didn't think anything of it. I didn't think it was going anywhere. I thought we would leave, and then it would just be what it was. It would just be over. So we left the restaurant that night And her hotel was literally one minute Away from the restaurant

I was like in the same parking lot basically And we still had to sit her for a while Like a few hours so we're like well we're just going to hang out at the hotel And maybe play some cards or something like that So we go over to the hotel And we're waiting on an elevator Excuse me And the elevator is not coming

I don't know if it was broken or We were just impatient, but we decided we're going to walk up the stairs. So we walk up the stairs, we jog up the stairs. She's on the fourth floor. And by the time we get to the room, we're like windy. So we open the room, open the door, and I just flop on the bed. I think my wife goes to the bathroom or sits on a chair. So I don't know, I really don't know where she was.

But his wife actually started unbuckling my belt. Wow. Like instantly. Oh my God. Okay. So at that point, I'm like, oh, man, I didn't even realize it was her at first. And I looked up and I noticed it. So I thought it was my wife. And I'm like, oh, man, I don't even know what to think at that moment. But she stops. And I don't know if my wife was walking over. But when I sit up on the bed, I noticed that they're kissing now.

So they're standing in the middle of the hotel room, kissing. They're taking to his clothes off and everything like that. And they go all the way. They're on the floor. They're eating each other out. All type of everything. So without really hesitation or a thought to it, I joined in. Let me ask you this.

Did you know if they had ever done anything before with each other? Or was this really their first time together? I had suspected, like I said, I would be going and they spent a lot of time together. Yeah. And I had suspected that they'd done something. before, but they both said they had never done anything like that. I've seen them kiss before. Oh, okay. Yeah. And the fact that they were like, let's get naked in front of each other and have

our husbands paint us. I don't know. I just feel like they probably had gotten it on before. Or they were obviously into each other on some level and maybe they were always sexually attracted to each other. There was that tension between them. And then that was the night where they just went to town. Totally still a possibility. Yeah. I think that that's more likely what happened. because like I said, I've seen them kids before, they're both great looking and they were obviously super open sexually

with one another. So definite possibility that they does something for. Yeah, and the fact that you guys were in the room together a lot naked, having sex and stuff that if they were kind of doing things, why wouldn't they have just done it then? I don't know. Right. Because they

wind up doing it in front of you. So now, so everything happens, like you wind up having sex there too. Yes. I wound up having sex with her. I'm having sex with my wife. And it's very passionate and steamy, to be honest. It wasn't, it didn't, I kind of imagined that in that type of situation, it would be more, I guess, chaotic or frantic, but it wasn't. It was very, it was a long time because we ended up overstaying the sitter. And it was like that. So we were there, we were going at it for a while. Like how long? I would say, over.

over probably about an hour and a half, maybe longer. Okay. And she's, so now, had your wife ever been with a girl, do you know? No. From what she's told me, no, she's never been with another girl. Besides maybe a kiss, I've definitely seen her kiss her friend, but nothing more than that. But they did everything with each other, too. Yeah, they did everything with each other.

And we were all very involved. She, my friend's wife, she sucked my dick. I ate her out. We were kissing everything. Okay. And your wife was cool with it. She watched you fuck that girl. Everyone's just in the heat of passions into it.

Well, in the heat of passion, I assumed I thought everything was cool because another big part that I actually kind of left out is that in the end, they had kind of finished. And I hadn't came yet. And she ended up actually sucking me off until I came in her mouth. which was crazy to me, but it happened. And I thought everything was cool. So when it was over, like I said, it was very late. And we knew we had overstayed the sitter. So we were like, we started, my wife started getting her clothes on.

So I just followed suit. And all the way home, which was about a 10, 15 minute drive from where we were. We didn't speak. There was nothing said in the car was silent. There was like some music playing. But other than that, there was nothing. said. And I just kind of assumed it was like kind of awkward because it had just happened, but the shock was there. I was still like on cloud nine because that was the first threesome I'd ever

had. So I'm riding cloud nine. So I'm thinking maybe she's feeling the same. It's just kind of awkward to talk about right now. We'll talk about it tomorrow. So we get home. Instead of away, we go to bed. And I actually work in early morning. So I had to be working like two hours after that. So I get home, we go to sleep, I get up for work, I go to work, and on the way home, I'm like, oh, this is going to be great. We're going to go home and talk about it. And maybe this is something we're going to start to incorporate, like, into our marriage, where we're going to maybe start meeting other women and bringing them into our bedroom. But I get home and that is not, that's not the welcome that I received. She was upset. My wife was actually upset with me,

one because I was eating the other girl out and two because I finished with her. She was very upset about it. She said I shouldn't have done that. I crossed the boundary. Yeah, but you guys didn't have any boundaries. Sorry. What should have took place as a fucking conversation, okay, about what you can or cannot do. How are you supposed to know?

I get why she, like I get both things at the same time. I get why you just did what you did and you had no idea. There were no rules. And I get why she's mad and she's saying that. but if she really looks at the situation factually, there were no boundaries. You didn't cross any boundaries. There were zero.

Everyone went to fucking town. Any conversation about it. So, yeah, but she was still upset about it. Yeah, of course. She was upset. And the other thing was that, I guess the bigger thing was that it was her friend, which I don't know why it would make more of a difference than if it was some, like, unicorn or random girl.

Yeah. But she was upset that it was her friend. And through that, those kind of arguments that we were having, her feelings, she kind of poured her feelings out to me that she felt, because in recent years, they had kind of grown more apart. They hadn't stayed as tight because we weren't, they weren't always together like they had been in the beginning just since they moved away. And I stayed very close with both of them. So I talked to them all the time, both of them, his wife and him, either together. or separate, I'm always in communication with them. And I guess my wife really was not.

She didn't care from them as often. So she didn't feel as connected. So I guess that kind of played a part in how she felt about the whole thing. So. Oh, my God. Yeah. But like I said, she was very upset about it. Yeah, obviously.

But, you know, listen, how long ago did this happen? A few months now. It was around Christmas or. after Christmas, I think. Oh, wow. I wish we had her on the phone because I'd talk some sense into her. Is she, like, have you gotten past it?

Or is she still upset? I think we've gotten past that particular issue. Like, we've had a rocky, like last year was kind of rocky for us in general. Oh, see, that doesn't help the situation either, though. Right. See, these are all, like, the reasons, this is, you guys did everything wrong

in terms of opening up your relationship, right? If you guys were to look at the rules before you did it, you would have seen that. A, you don't open up your relationship when your relationship is on rocky ground. You know what I'm saying? That's the worst time to do something like that because you're not so stable. It's not going to fix things. It's only going to bring more securities out, insecurities out, which is it did in your situation, right? This didn't help it.

Probably if you were more secure and things were really great, there would have been less of these feelings. The other thing is you had no conversations, no, there were no rules, there were no boundaries, there were no thinking this really through like, hey, can we, should we do this? There were no safe word so that somebody knew that they could speak up and say, hey, I don't like this. But at a certain point, I am sure as a woman, when she saw her, this girlfriend of hers blowing you, and she knew that you had not come and now you're finishing in this woman, it was bothering her, but she didn't speak up for herself, right? Like you guys weren't over communicating.

You have to do all those things. You have to be at the place where you're so over communicating with each other that even in that kind of situation, you know, you feel that in that situation, you're going to feel comfortable, whoever it is, speaking up because this is what happens. Then there's all kinds of butt hurt feelings. And she's kind of like ridiculous. She can't really blame you, is what I'm saying. I'm not saying she can't have her feelings. You can't help her feelings, right? That's how she feels about it.

it was not right for her certain things just did not feel good for her you can't take that away that's just a fact but you can't blame you like you didn't do it intentionally you didn't cross a boundary that you knew existed and did did it against her because you didn't fucking care you know that's not where it came from and I think everything is like is about intention right like I get that she's upset and I get that it didn't make her feel good but you didn't intend to do that you didn't know.

So I don't know that you're that much at fault. What's at fault is that you guys both did not discuss things ahead of time. You were both wrong in the situation. There was no communication prior to it happening. And like I said, if that was the case that she was, she didn't want me to join in, first I felt she shouldn't have been, they shouldn't have been taking it there with me present because I've told it before I wouldn't care if they hooked up at all. whether I knew or I didn't know, I just, it wouldn't bother me.

Yeah. But, you know, just doing it with me there and expecting me not to join in. And another thing is I'm, when it comes to sex, I don't really have those type of boundaries where it, well, if you do this with another person, then that's worse than if you just did this or, or we can do this. If we're both okay with it, then I'm okay with doing anything, you know, sure. But that's why Pete couples have to talk, because. Just because you have zero boundaries doesn't mean she has zero boundaries, right? But there and lies the problem. You go into this as you with your mindset and how you live your life and there's zero boundaries.

And she can't blame you for that. That's who you are. You're not reading her fucking mind in the middle of this. She's somebody that does have boundaries, obviously. Maybe she would have been fine with you fucking her, but not coming inside her or not doing this or that. Who knows? Everyone has their own boundaries. They set them up themselves.

and everyone's entitled to those, whatever they are, even if you don't fucking agree with them. And this is why you need to talk because you both need to say, okay, I understand your boundary. Like, I understand you're a boundary list and you don't have any one thing, but you sound like a reasonable guy. I feel like if you guys talked about this ahead of time and she said, listen, I'm going to go down on a girl and let you fuck my friend, but I don't want you to do this, this and that. I think you'd probably be like, okay, you would have respected her boundaries. You sound like that type of guy. But you didn't have those boundaries and you're coming from your mindset.

When this is the problem with people, we all think that everyone's like us. When when they're not, we're like, oh, fuck you, you're an asshole. But it's like, you're not an asshole. You're just a different person. You didn't know. And like I said, it's not like you're right or totally wrong. You're both wrong. You both did something fucked up, which is you crossed a line without thinking about it.

And it caused major problems. Right. Another thing that upset her was that because we obviously talked about. about it multiple times and she asked me, did I feel any way about it? And when I expressed to her that my guilt was really for my friend. Oh yeah, we haven't talked about that. Oh, my God. Yeah, I wasn't really guilty or I didn't really feel any way about what happened as far as between me and my wife, because like I said, I felt we were both complicit. So whatever happened, we were both there, we both made our decisions. Yes. It was the only one that was, if quote unquote, a victim, I guess you

would say of anything. That was what I was. That was what I was. I feel bad for. I didn't really feel bad for anything that I necessarily did with her. Yeah, and I'm just going to tell her, like if she wasn't here, I'd just be railing on her again. She is also someone that did that to that guy.

You know what I mean? Not just she, like, there is a person that isn't in the know that this happened at all. Imagine his boundaries. Right. He doesn't even know that this girl just fucked his best friend and his best friend's wife and you're all friends.

So did she feel bad about it at all either for the guy? My wife? Yeah. She didn't say she did. But that's what I'm trying to say. She's not really looking at it from anyone else's perspective but herself, which is what we all do, unfortunately, because it's like that's a whole other issue. Let's talk about that.

So you're done with this situation. You got your wife upset and now you feel really bad about your best friends. Yeah, really bad. I felt really bad like the day after. and I think two days later, she and I, his wife and I had a conversation because I guess I should have mentioned they have had like three sons with other girls

that they've told me about and things like that and they had their boundaries of where they know what they're doing and they everybody, everybody's on board. Yeah. But it was always together. And when she and I talked, she kind of told me like, this is something he can never know about.

You know, he probably wouldn't be cool with. it and you know after that conversation I felt even worse I felt really I still feel really bad about it yeah I can imagine because that's literally my best friend so but at the at the time did it happened I can say honestly I didn't think of it in that way like I didn't think I didn't have a thought to where oh this is my best friend's wife and then I did it anyway it wasn't it wasn't like that I just as inconsiderate as it sounds I just didn't have a thought about it. Yeah, well, that's because your dick was hard. Whenever people are horrid, same with your wife.

Listen, you're saying with your wife. She wasn't thinking, oh, if this happens or that happens, I'm not going to be able to handle it. She was just super wet and horny. You had a, you were super hard and horny and you guys just went with it without thinking because you don't think when you're horny. Being horny is like being drunk. Every thought, rational thought goes out of your head. You're not like in a thinking, a regular thinking state to make sometimes those kinds of judgments when this is where the regret comes afterwards and this is why you have to be careful of what you're doing because beforehand you have to talk it out so that you don't have these regrets after because once like I said your dick's hard she's totally wet all rationale

goes out the window yeah gone yeah same with his wife did she she like cheated on him did she feel bad did she say hey I want to tell him like what was her thinking about the whole thing the wife she didn't say she wanted to tell him she didn't tell me that she felt bad she more was i guess no i don't think she really felt bad about it either to be honest i don't know she may have told my wife that she felt bad and not really opened up to me but we had a long conversation about it we talked for over an hour and i don't remember her saying that she necessarily felt bad or you know felt guilty or anything like that about it but did your wife let her know that you know that you she had some hurt feelings about it?

Did it ruin their relationship? Did they have any conversations after? Yeah, they did. And that's kind of where some of my wife and I's issues came from was because they had a conversation. She told her how she felt about it. And I felt like my wife was kind of trying to make a lot of rules at that point. She was like, oh, well, I know you guys talk a lot.

And she's like, what do you guys talk about? She wanted to look at our, like, conversation. And she was like, how do you, she's asking, how do you feel about her? Well, I don't want y'all to have a one-on-one relationship anymore. And I'm like, you know, you're trying to, you're trying to make rules all of a sudden. And that's been a really good friend to me for a long time. Yeah, well, that's because she saw how horny you were for her. And that's, like, going to be like, she can't get that out of her head now.

Listen, it's really unfortunate, but I kind of get it. That's how a woman's going to feel if she's not ready for that kind of a thing. Now she's going to be like, oh, my God. She's going to be seeing that. She's going to put that together with your friendship and think that you're going to want to fuck her all the time. And I'll be honest with you. She's not all the way wrong.

Oh, no. Because that's another one of the biggest issues I've had is that just in reflection over the past weeks or months now since it's happened, I've thought about kind of our relationship. and I thought about that night and kind of what went on between us. And actually, I was listening to your show. I don't remember what episode it was, but somebody was on and they were talking about chemistry.

And I had never really thought about what chemistry meant before. And I realized that she and I have really great chemistry together, just sexually or even just in conversation, we just have great chemistry, which I could see why that would make my wife uncomfortable. in noticing that chemistry I kind of developed like feelings for I really do. Oh my yeah

what I love this story no offense because it's such a fucking mess. It's like I sometimes I feel like oh I have a lot of like successful people on my show talking about how you successfully open up and so I always love a gone wrong story because I think things go wrong all the time and that's life and nothing is ever

just good or just bad so I always like to show the other side and this is just such a fucking and sloppy mess is kind of interesting. I mean, I'm sorry it's your life, but it's entertaining to me. I'm sorry. No, I completely understand that.

I agree. Like, it got really messy, really quickly. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Okay, so let's just, like, talk through this. Now, your wife is, when, now, when your wife talks to her, and she's telling her, like,

she's not into this and stuff, before she starts putting rules on you, like, did she and that girl still stay friends? or did she like end the friendship with her or did they end okay? No, I don't think she, there was anything like ending the friendship or I don't think they really had a falling out. But like I said, my wife is kind of, she's really proximity based. I will say so they haven't been as close already since they moved away.

So with this, they kind of probably are just a little bit more distant. I don't think they had any type of argument or anything like that. And I just think they're a little bit, maybe more distant than they were because of this now. But they already were. It wasn't like it really affected their friendship because they weren't like having a daily friendship with each other anymore anyway. It was like, oh, yeah. So I get it. So now she doesn't start putting those rules on the friend.

She comes to you and starts saying, hey, listen, I don't want you now talking to her and stuff like that. Yeah. Exactly. And what do you say? I told her I was not cool with that. I really, I do understand, but I still feel like it. It's very reaction, reaction narrative, that's the correct word. And it's not really fair because, like I said, we were all four friends.

But I had an individual friendship or relationship with all three of them, with my wife, with my best friend, with his wife. I've grown to be really close with them. So to just be like, oh, because that happened now, I can't. No, no, no, I'm going to have to. Now I'm on your girlfriend's side. okay, I flip back and forth. I'm very into fairness, so I see everyone's point of view.

I'm going to tell you in this situation why, like where your girl is coming from might be more of the right move than what you think is the right move, which is just stay friend status quo. You literally have gotten to this place where you have copped some feelings, like in your own mind, right?

You haven't seen her since, right? That woman separately or anything. You're not fooling around with her on the side. Okay. So, but in your head, you're like putting things together. You're like crushing on her. You remember you fucked her how good she is. And then you guys are great friends. And now you're like, oh, you listen to one of my podcasts and they're talking about chemistry. And you're like, oh, you're thinking about this other woman, not your wife. Like, you're going over there instead of like where you need to be in your own fucking house with your wife. And she smells that. And that's why she's like, uh-uh, no way. Like you can't be friends with her. And I really believe, I'm sorry, but maybe you need to pull back a little bit until you get. your head on fucking straight, okay? Because the truth is, this is your best friend's wife, okay? You're going to leave your wife for her? Are you going to leave your wife for her?

Oh, no, never. Okay. Are you going to fuck her? No, no, don't like you got to ask one more question. Are you going to fuck her behind your friend's wife and cheat on your best friend with his wife and your wife with that girl? Would you fuck her again? Or do you have plans of that?

No. Now, now, wait, wait, let me add a caveat to that answer. or if there was ever a situation where all parties were involved and okay with it, possibly. But never, I'm not, I'm not looking to steal her away from him or run away from my wife with him or with her, anything like that.

So then you need to get her out of your fucking head. And maybe a little time apart is good. Now, what does your relationship with that other girl look like? Is it you guys are texting all the time? What is she telling you you can't do? Because they live far away. and you never see her.

So what are the rules she's trying to put on you now with that relationship? What is she saying? Your girl to you? We haven't actually had the conversation in a while, but I remember she was just saying she doesn't really want us to have one-on-one phone conversations. Yeah, she's right. Even with text messaging, we don't text very, we don't text often at all. The majority of our communication, I would say, is like sending a meme or sending little videos on social media or something like that.

I get it. So I don't want to say it's like completely above board to where it's like nothing, obviously because of what happened and because how I do feel about her. I understand that. But I don't, we're not like sneaking and texting in the middle of the night. But let me, you're not because she hasn't thrown any kind of bait at you. But if she said something to you like in one of those private texts, oh hey, I had a really great time. If there was that little window of opportunity, I think you might go there because you're like kind of like I said, a obsessing about her a little bit because of what happened. It's very new. And you're having problems with your wife. And this is like the kind of situation where it is a little dangerous. And I get why your girl is saying, no, pull the fuck back because she's not a dumb dumb. This is how things can happen. Like I said, you guys are doing memes, but all it would take is that girl to throw something your way because she's maybe looking for a compliment.

Who knows? Maybe her and her husband have a fight and she's like, why she thinks she feels you out, sniffs you out by sending you something. maybe slightly inappropriate and then you're like on it because you've been fawning over her in your head. This is the way a fair start. I'm telling you, it's a slippery slope and that's what your wife is trying to stop from happening. And she's right. And because you might go down that path. If that girl sent you a thing and got you into talking about what went down and stuff, Do you think you would shut it down or do you think you might go with it?

You sound like you'd answer me honestly. I would answer you honestly and say I would shut it down, but I believe the reason I would shut it down is not the right reason. Because my thing is really, I don't want to, I definitely don't want to hurt my friend, but I also don't want to sneak around behind his back. I don't want to do anything to put. I also don't want to put their relationship in jeopardy. So you wouldn't do it for your wife, but you'd do it for your wife, but you'd do it for. for your best friend. Oh my God, your poor wife. Don't ever let her know that you listen to my podcast or she finds this episode.

She's going to know it's you and she's going to be like, what a fucked up thing to say. Like you don't give a fuck that your wife doesn't want you like talking to her but because of your friend you wouldn't do it. I don't know. Listen, you shouldn't do it for either person because that would be a fucked up thing to do because it's one thing when you're cheating like you said in the beginning. Oh, I'm on vacation. It doesn't mean anything.

It's just about sex. But with this woman, it was very different. This is a whole different ballgame. There was chemistry. There was a flow. There was like a connection there, right? There's layers when you have that long of a friendship with somebody. And then add in the fact that it's your best friend's wife and he doesn't know about it, it's just so dangerous.

Like, you should pull back a little bit. Do you text her all the time? No. Does your wife want you to not be friends with her at all or she just doesn't want you to be like solo friends with her? I think she doesn't want me to be like solo friends with her and a lot of my my pushback to that is we were before this happened like I said we were all pretty close and I was already pretty close and on on that front as far as my wife knows honestly there's nothing has changed in that in that sense like nothing she's she's looked through all

our messages and things like that. Like nothing. No, but you know what has changed? Your mind, your brain. Women smell that from a mile away. You are into her. Would you tell your wife that? Oh, no, I wouldn't tell her that.

Of course you wouldn't. But, you know, she knows that on some level. She saw that connection. She saw that chemistry. She witnessed it. That's why she's fucking flipping out. Come on. Women aren't dumb.

She's got like a, she got a feeling about it. And she's right because you do like her. Listen, if you were telling me a very, this would be a very different story. If you were saying, like it was a hot threesome. I did, you know, yeah, I came in her mouth, but who the fuck cares?

Like it was just sex, but it was hot and it was great. She's still just my friend. That's it. I wouldn't be having this part of the conversation with you. It would be like, well, she needs to accept the fact and maybe you guys need to let her know that you're just friends, blah, blah, blah, blah. But you, I know the truth.

I know that for a fact you did cop feelings for that woman. And you kind of are crushing on her in your head. And that's, knowing that information, it is a different story. It's a different scenario. It's not just, oh, we were friends before and everything. Like, you're, like, fantasizing about her in your head. And that's, like I said, that's like a prime for something maybe happening.

And you should be, you want to be super careful because, like, I understand that. I think my biggest thing is that, like, we've had our ups and downs and in our relationship. She's done what she's done. I've done what I've done. but I don't like, I don't like to feel like she's exercising authority over me because I don't do that with her. So like in times where, you know, and just not to really put her business out, but she has actually cheated on me that she's come forward and told me about and she's had an actual relationship with another guy. And yet I don't try to control what she does to ensure that it doesn't happen. I've kind of made my piece that if it happens again, I'll have to deal with it how it happens.

But I don't feel like she's giving me the opportunity to make a decision either right or wrong. So if I make the right, if nothing never happens with me and this girl, then was it, it's almost like it's not my decision to do the right thing and not let anything happen. No, but in this situation, you would be doing it for her to give her a little peace of mind because she's feeling super insecure. not right about this situation. This was like too close to home. Listen, you fucked hookers and escorts and people at work and she fucked a guy. I'm sorry, you can't bring

that into this situation. This is a whole different thing, okay? So it doesn't matter. And the fact that she copped to cheating and you kept your mouth shut is fucked up. Okay? I heard some woman the other day tell me she caught her husband cheating and she was cheating too and she didn't say anything. I'm like, oh my God, who's worse in the situation? At least she told you

you never told her. You've cheated on her too. You know what? And I think the complete opposite of that, I think it's pretty selfless. Selfish. Yeah. Okay. I get it. Yeah. To tell someone who knows nothing to tell them that you cheated on them. That's for self-relief. You're not helping them at all. Yeah. It's because you want to relieve your own guilt because you feel so terrible about it that you have to dump it someplace. So you dump it on the one person that's now going to feel terrible about it. Yeah. I've seen. I get that. I get where you're coming from. But I'm just saying like I don't believe that that past stuff really has anything to say because just going into this threesome, just like I've said 10 million times in this show, you are different. You roll different. Okay, your wife cheated on you. You didn't care. Like you were able to get past it. You were able to trust her again. You didn't have to put any rules or regulations on her afterwards to gain your trust back. That's you. Okay. But that's not your wife. And if this is your wife and you want to have a good relationship with her and you want to get back on some solid ground, you might have to do something for her. And what is that? Just take her rules and listen to them. It's not that deep as she's trying to control me or whatever you said before. Look at it like you're just trying to help her get past something that she can't get past.

Look at it. Like be a team player. This is where I think couples go wrong because they're just like it's me against you. You do it for her. Feel come like try to put yourself in her position. This is a woman that went into something. She did the wrong thing by going into it, not talking. She was super horny.

She didn't care. went for it, but she did not feel good about it. She has some really bad feelings about it. She saw some chemistry there. She's petrified that she could lose you to this girl because you do have a connection with her. Now you fucked her and it was like really hot and she's nervous and you have actually a better relationship with that girl than she does and she's not even close to that girl anymore. So she's nervous that she could lose you, that you guys could do something behind her back. Like why say fuck you? I don't care about how you feel you're insecure and you shouldn't be as opposed to just saying, okay, you know what?

You're really super insecure and I'm going to do everything I can to make you feel secure in this situation. Why not do that for her? That's what you should do. That's your fucking girl. That's your wife. You guys are on the same team. That's what you do for each other.

That's what you're supposed to do. But so many people in relationships are like one against the other. Like they don't see it that way. They're just thinking about themselves. Like you would be pulling back a little bit and because you want to make her feel better about the situation. Because that's just how she feels. She's, you know, she's not trying to control you.

She's trying to make herself feel better about the situation because she feels insecure. And that's not a good feeling to feel. Right. So give it to her. What does it fucking matter? They don't even live here. You're on a dangerous, slippery slope anyway. You're protecting yourself from doing something even more fucked up and like really

fucking your friend over. If you care about your friend's feelings more than your wife, then look at it that way. Like, you don't want to. to remain close with this girl right now after what happened because you are kind of like feeling a certain way. So pull back a little bit. Give your wife that. Why wouldn't you? I don't know. For me, it's easier said than done. I kind of feel just knowing my wife. I have the feeling that it's just never over. So I pull back and then it's, well, let me check your phone again. Let me go through this. Oh, let me, it's always the next thing. But has it?

always been that way with her? Is that how she is? Yeah. Yeah, that's the way she is. Yeah. She hasn't been that way about this situation, but that's kind of because I didn't agree to it. So it's still abrasive. But if I, I know if I were to, or I believe if I were to go along with the first thing she says, then she kind of feels, well, I have to go another step now to ensure that you, you didn't start a way of out of it. Stop. I have 10 minutes, and I'm just going to tell you this. Okay. I'm just going to say shut up and listen to me. Okay. Cancel it. I'm listening.

Okay, cool. This is another bullshit thing that people do. You work out scenarios in your head and you make up all this shit that's going to happen and you believe your fucking fantasy land scenario. You don't know. You don't know. Right. Okay?

So you don't know that that's what's going to happen. And you're using that as a way to stop from doing that first thing, which is what she wants and giving into her. Just do it. And then if she does that, then you could tend to that bullshit. Then you could be like, you know what? this isn't fucking fair. I don't, I did what you said. I want to make you feel better. Like, what else can I do to help you get trust? Like, is this going to be a forever thing? Like,

then you have those conversations later, but don't just assume that that's what's going to happen. Because so many people always assume things and therefore they never do anything because of all their stupid assumptions. And I learned at some point in my life that I did that, right? I was like everybody else and then I realized at one point in my life that like maybe I shouldn't assume maybe I should just fucking show up and then maybe something else will totally happen that I never imagined and that happens more than it doesn't so don't just assume that you know what she's going to do afterwards just give her what she fucking wants pull back a little bit and I think sometimes when you show somebody instead of being defensive against them that you actually are understanding of them

and you are being cool and you are doing something for them. That goes a long way, especially with women. So, and like I said, if she does still become even worse and it goes down that path, deal with that then. But don't not do this now because you think this is going to happen. Because you don't know. That's my whole point. You don't fucking know.

That's what you assume. But it didn't happen in real life. No, that's a solid piece of advice. Yeah. So just do that thing. Just give her what she wants because it's not a, only protecting her, I am telling you, it is protecting you from going down the path. You need to get that girl out of your head the way she's in your head.

You have her filed in a very dangerous category in your brain, okay? She is no longer just your friends. And this girl happens to be your best friend's wife. So she cannot be filed in your brain as what she's filed in there, okay? Sorry. Uh-uh. Not cool. You want to cut that shit out.

And the way you cut that shit out is pulling back from that girl. And so you could get back to the way it was and just be friends. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I think I definitely take that advice. Yes. Do it for your friend. Do it for you.

But also do it for your fucking, poor wife. Give it to her. Just give it to her. She doesn't feel, do you know what it's like to feel like super insecure and feel out of control? And she's so nervous that you're going to like cop. feelings for this girl. And by the way, you have. Okay, so she's not acting crazy for no reason. That's true. She's not. She sees something there. And she's, like I said, she's a smart bitch. I know that this is the type of little things that sometimes turn into big things down the road.

So nip it in the bud now because this is dangerous territory for you. And like I said, the fact that she doesn't even live here anyway makes it easier for you. So give that to your wife. Start listening to her. and doing for her what she needs to make her feel more secure in your relationship. And that'll go a long way, okay? Seriously. Yeah. Definitely. I appreciate it, Kathy.

I love this story, John. Thank you so much for calling in. I think it's great. I think it's super interesting for people to hear. I think people hopefully will hear my little life lessons and listen to them too. I think it's a very helpful story. Like I said, I love a gone wrong story because I think it always is, a way to show people like what not to do, right?

Like, it's a lot of my episodes. Yeah, we learn more from the horror stories. Yeah, yeah. And listen, nobody's perfect. Shit happens. You guys are going through a rough path in your marriage. You'll make it through. But do the right thing.

And keep me posting. Let me know six months from now. If you did what I said and things are cool and your wife was cool. Or she went down that path that you knew and then you dealt with it afterwards. Right. I will. You don't know. But thanks so much for calling in, John.

This was super interesting story. and it'll be up very soon. Definitely. I look forward to hearing it. Thank you again. Oh, yeah. And let me tell you, when you hear your story

from the third person, it is going to be even more interesting from you. You might get something different out of it. You'll see. Okay. You'll see. Let me know what you think

after you listen to it, okay? I will. Take care, Kathy. Bye, John. Thanks for calling in. Bye. Hey, everyone. Thanks so much for tuning in

to this week's episode. If you lead an interesting, naughty secret life that you want to talk about or you just have a really super interesting life story that you want to talk about while remaining anonymous or not anonymous. If you're out and proud, that's cool too. Send me an email, Strictly Anonymous podcast at gmail.com. That's strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com. Or go to my website, strictly anonymous podcast.com and click on Be on the show. If you have a short confession that you

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